F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Mecca of Day Game

Episode Date: June 22, 2026

After 400 episodes, we have FINALLY located the Mecca of harassing women who don't want our attention in public spaces. Topics include a dating app with no dates, is pick-up artistry a scam, expanding your physical preferences, accidentally improving yourself.Join the Patreon for MORE CONTENT. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello friends. My name is Dave Miller. And I'm Nile Spain. And we are your fuck buddies. We're a sex and dating advice podcast where we take your sticky sexy situations and turn them into sexy sticky situations. We find them online. We find them from our incredible listeners. And we answer them right here right now every Monday and every month also on Patreon for extra bonus. Sexy content. Sexy content. I feel like my chair is extra squeaky today. That's the sexy content right there. We'll oil it for Patreon.

ASMR. The S stands for Squeaks. The A stands for As, because you're sitting on it. Yeah. As Squeaks, Man Room. Yeah, it's true. So, without, I'm not going to get too into it because I know you haven't seen it. But I saw He-Man last night or Masters of the Universe. It's not called He-Man, but it's He-Man. But it's He-Man.

It's He-Man. Let's be real. And it's great. It is a very good movie. It is a lot of fun. It's, they do a lot of very cool stylistic things that I think, were incredible choices, stuff like that. But what I do want to talk about is that it's an incredibly like positive male movie. And in my opinion, there's one misstep, which I kind of wish they didn't do, but I kind of understand why they did it.

Or he man joins the seduction subreddit and just like really goes off about women. Or he man becomes so alt-right white nationalists. I could see it with a name like he-man. Like, I'm surprised. Like, I bet you fucking alt-right white nationalists are so pissed. that he already took that. A lot of right-wing people didn't understand the point of the movie. So a lot of like, they didn't understand something with their media leather.

See, I'm shocked. First, I knew, I knew it was going to be a challenging, like, conversation to see take place when in the trailer, there's a really good shot of him sitting at a desk and it says, like, his name, and then underneath it says he, him. That's a very good joke. Like, that's a very funny joke, regardless of, like, how you feel about pronouns, right? Like, if you're a shitty, like, I don't use pronouns. It's still a funny joke.

Like, it's still a good he man joke. But, so I knew right away when I was like, oh, you're not getting this. Like, this is, you're upset about this very good joke, visual gag. It's going to be bad. But the whole movie essentially is the importance of, like, not using strength and, you know, brute force as a indicator of masculinity and what it means to be a man and like violence isn't necessarily being a man. It's like, you have power. It's, it's what you do with it and how you wield it and blah, blah, blah. With great power comes great responsibility. I believe they see that

multiple times in the movie. It's the famous he man saying. And it's interesting because it's it is, it's like shown through the lens of a couple different men as well. And then also like how women interact in this place of what what power means to them. It's it's incredibly well done. And I think it's, it's again, for children. So it's not getting as deep as you might want it to.

Yeah. But I just think it's really funny because a lot of dudes who were like, I was scared. He man was going to be woke trash. But it's so nice to see a movie that doesn't have any like politics or blah, blah, blah. I'm like, Hey,

my guy, like there's a character at one point in time who pretty much like spells it out for you at the end of the movie. and like they still just don't get it. These are the same people who are like, I love Star Wars. I sympathize with the rebels. Also,

ice. It's like, okay. Okay. Yeah. I believe in fascist governments, but I do understand the plot of Star Wars. I'm intrigued because I just heard bad stuff about Heat Man. And like not in terms of like, you know, politics or gender,

whatever. I just heard it wasn't good. So now I'm intrigued. I mean, like some of the CGI, it falls into the trap of like, it's an over-cgai mess like that kind of stuff Is the final fight? Is there a sky beam?

Yeah, is there a sky beam? I mean, he's he's man. He makes a beam in the sky multiple times. God damn it. Well, you know the whole Marvel like every, the end of every Marvel movie is like, oh, there's a beam in the sky and there's a bunch of CGI

and it's just become like a joke. I mean, unfortunately, I do think you can't have he man with that. Like, he gets his power from a beam in the sky. No, that's fair. You know what I mean. I don't mean the human. I do know what you mean.

Is there an enemy beam? No. enemy beam, I don't think. I don't think they do an enemy beam. It's, uh, it's a the, they do cool stuff in it. I really liked it. I thought it was a really fun movie. Again, is it going to win an Oscar?

No. Maybe the music should. The music kicked ass. Um, I don't know. It's, it's a good movie and I think if you, if you want to take your kids, if you have young men or anyone, but like specifically I think young men would, would, especially like in the eight eight year old range, like the eight and like 12 range. Like that, it's a sweet,

But it's not too, there's a couple crude jokes that are for the parents, which are great. But like at one point in time, there was a family, a dad and two kids in front of us. And at one point in time, the dad was in the middle because I guess he was the snack holder. And the two kids like had their like heads like leaning on the dad. And I was like, hell yeah. This is, I like that. It's like just a dad being like affectionate with his son, spending some time with them, going to see he, man. We love it.

I highly recommend it for parents of young men. And it's a good movie. Oh, yeah. I get you with some sex news. Ooh. This is a, I think maybe the best news article I've ever read. And this one's for pride. This is enemy lesbian nuns quit convent and marry each other.

Yeah. Yeah. Two former novice nuns have shared the story after leaving the convent, falling in love and getting married. Well, we know what the next heated rivalry is going to be. Yeah. He did none. He did a covenantry. That's just, I'm not even going to go into that.

It's just wonderful. Have you ever heard of the. app breeze? It's a dating app. No. Have you ever heard of the app? Sniffies? I didn't. It was in a question I was reading today and apparently it's a raunchy gay hookup app called Sniffies. Does the sniffy?

I come. Okay. You know what? I was wondering if it was like, you know, the way we can record our voices, right? We can record our images. Wait, what? Yeah. It's fucking crazy, man. But like, I was wondering, like, because it's got to be coming soon. When is the olfactory app coming? Where you can like, oh, here's my armpit, and then you, like, send it to your best friend, right?

As a sick prank or... Well, one of the options for He-Man was the, like, 40x or whatever. Yeah. Which is, like, the thing that, like, blows. And I was like, I do not trust, A, the general public to not fuck with these things, but also the cleaning staff of the theater, which is usually children. You know, I mean, like, movie theaters are typically a younger... Sad overtired children.

Yeah. And I was like, there's... no way that this vent that is blasting air and liquids at me is getting cleaned properly. Like this is just asbestos and mold. Yeah, for sure. That's the four D's. Yeah. Diseases.

It's all the diseases you collect. Four D's and then the X is like Dana's exed. He's dead. Done. Yeah. I have done 4DX twice once, I believe with you for Hardcore Henry. That was D Box. It's different.

Okay. Well, I did the other one for, uh, War of the Roherom, which is like a horrendous, terrible movie, the animated Lord the Rings movie. And on top of that, like, just does not have enough, like, moments in the movie to justify being on the moving chair. So they were really reaching for a lot of it where it's like someone put a cup down and they'd be like, blah.

And you're like, what the fuck? I didn't need that. But back to Breeze. Breeze is a dating app where you cannot talk. You just go on a date. So if you match, you just pick a date and a time and a place. And that's it. You're not allowed talk.

We feel about that, Dane? Look, I like it from a exciting, if I was a single person, this would be a fun thing to do. It's kind of like speed dating. It's kind of fresh. However, it falls apart because you know that 90% of interactions that women have to deal with on dating apps immediately stop them from wanting to date that person, right? Yeah.

So when you remove that from the equation, all you're doing is being like, hey, you know that almost every dude says something disgusting. racist, homophobic, or just so dumb. Usually ill-advised, yeah. Or just like, like, completely incomprehensible. Like, yeah, now you're doing that in-person, giving up your time and safety.

Yes, and just like telling someone specifically where you're going. Yeah, a lot of people were very hype about it when it was like announced and were like, this is going to solve the problem of dating. And instead, it's just become like either women being terrified or

having very bad times or just, or just what's now known as the cancel app, where, yeah, these dates are made. They're still getting canceled, though. And I think that's worse, right? If my only interaction is a canceled date, it's like, it's hard enough to get to that date. Like, oh, we've made a date.

We're going to go out. Right. And like, I find the amount of time it takes to get there whittles down X amount of people. And then the amount of people who make the date who cancel is even lower. So it's like the few canceled dates happen. That's fine.

But if it was just nothing but dates and the majority of they're getting canceled, I would be bummed. Because you got to like set time aside and make plans and like get mentally ready and like blah, blah, blah. Like fuck that. Yes. Yeah. And it's also like a time that you can't do anything else.

Right. Like you say like, oh, eight o'clock on Tuesday, we're going on a date. You've reserved that slot. So now like if your friends like, oh, hey, we're going to see a concert. Like what are you doing? It's like, ah, I've already made a date. It'd be shitty to cancel. And then, you know, 7 p.m. on Tuesday it gets canceled.

I would be sad. It sucks. It's just like, I don't. I don't understand, like, I understand the idea that, like, a lot of people need online dating to change and the format, like, somebody's not working. We've, we've kind of, like, the bubble has kind of burst on online dating in terms of, like, it's efficacy. Yeah, because it's just about money. And the way to make money is by making you feel bad and, like, withholding resources. So it's like, yeah, it's shit.

Yeah. So it's like everything has been monetized to the point where, like, they're no, the service they're providing is no longer useful to the majority of the people who want to use it. Like, even the people who are paying for it, like mostly men are not seeing the return because women have become so jaded by the platform, dicking them around by being like, we're not going to give you like proper matches because we need dudes to pay in order to match with you. It's like, well, okay, great. Now I, so I'm being punished for being hot. Like, what's happening? It's, yeah. And like, I understand people are trying to be like, oh,

we need a new, a new hook. But this ain't it. I could tell you, that ain't it. Like, yeah, yeah. There was like, I read it and was just like, nope, nope, they ain't going to do it for me. But this week, we're going to talk about, but doing pickup for 15 years. Is it a scam? Oh, boy.

How do I expand on my physical type? Debating breaking up a girlfriend over comments about Lord of the Rings. Accidentally approved my life because of a girl I like. Hell yeah. I'm going to just dive into this one because it's kind of long. This is by City 88. I'm doing pickup for 15 years and now I feel convinced it's a scam or a waste of time. It's really hard for me to say this after doing game for 15 years.

I'm starting to think it's a scam and or waste of time. Hear me out. I was originally inspired again to pickup after seeing a few well-known popular pickup artists get lots of media attention around 2008. Didn't start pickup until about 2016. When I first started, it was very scary to do and very adrenaline-like. Being able to walk up to a girl you were afraid of and get the number felt very adrenaline spike-like. Over time, that feeling has gotten jaded to me. It feels like nothing.

There's no thrill anymore to approach. A large percent of girls you approach will not give you the time of day. And the ones you luckily get a number from then, there is a whole other dilemma you're dealing with. Flaky behavior, ghosting, only wanting money, only wanting platonic, only wanting marriage. For someone like me with the goal of getting laid, it becomes very time-consuming and frustrating. Yeah, you sometimes might get lucky here and there, but it's incredibly time consuming. I heard that even the great pickup artists only get about 10% of all women they approached.

Literally have to basically have a full-time job by just going out walking every day in a big city if you're lucky to live in New York, doing random approaches all day long so you finally hit the jackpot. There's still time consuming at the end of the day. Time is money and there's no guarantee you're going to get laid. I have never had the opportunity to do day game in New York City. Someday I should try. I'm basing all my experience out of Seattle and or Vancouver. I'm starting to wonder if it's better just focus on making as much money as you can, going to Tijuana and doing pay for play or just pay in general. I spend large amounts of time doing approaches and I feel like majority of it is frustration and wasted time. Yeah, you get numbers here and there, dates here and there,

short adrenaline spike, but you're sexless at the end of the day. What do you think? Am I right? Do I owe it to myself to move to New York? I hear it's the daygame me mecca of the US. Not sure anymore. Also reminds me, I'm not even certain if NYC is the mecca of day game anymore. Isn't NYC home to one of the most liberal feminist types of women out there? Most feminist women are against age gap relationships, obsessed about power dynamics, not types of annoying BS. The end of the day, If you want to make money by doing pickup approaches all day and making other men think you're successful by charging expensive boot caps, it's a free country, I guess. You could do that. I'm just starting to wonder, is the main appeal for pickup artists selling that image just to make money?

But who knows? This is not something I can do anymore. I don't feel morally right about deceiving anyone. That's just me. You're muted. No, I'm not muted. I'm speechless. It's, oh, boy.

Like, I think the, the, like, juxtaposition of him being like, I could never mislead a man into giving me his money and lie to him. I do, however, do pick up artist bullshit to women, which is essentially lying and manipulating them. Yeah. And that's okay. I'm seriously considering harassing women as a full-time job. And then, like, his whole thing, like, should I just use sex workers?

Maybe. Like, I would love to say yes. But I don't trust that you're going to be chill. Because you're not chill currently. I don't want them to have to deal with you. Yeah. But at least if you're going to be spending all your time with women, at least they're getting paid. Yeah.

Right? And I'm sure they know how to deal with you, which is probably, you know, treat you poorly. That's probably what you're into, really. There's guys obsessed with New York. And let me tell you, New York is awesome. It kicks ass. So please don't ever go there. Yeah.

Stay away from it. Don't make, don't make New York bad. New York's on an upswing right now. New York's doing great. Man, Daddy's going to kick you out personally if you go to the city. He'll find you and give you a stern talking to. He'll put you on a free taxi, give you like a nice iced coffee and then ship you off to like, I don't know, Missouri. Yeah.

I was really hoping this was going to be one of those like eye opening like, oh man, is it like, but it really isn't. His thing is like I'm just there. He's like, I don't know. She's like something's awry here. And then he just kind of gets lost in the sauce. Like he is I mean I he's starting to gain When he's points of being like oh Pickup is bad yeah pick up sucks

Yeah but it's it's not for any of the right reasons Well look he's on a journey and it's just the start It's only been what 15 years which also doesn't make sense because he was like I didn't start until 2016 That's 10 years I don't know maybe like five years he thought about it Yeah five years of training hard extensive watching the mystery on fucking YouTube video. I can only assume, I always just assume it's mystery.

Yeah. I don't know any of these people. Prominent. Mystery is he's got a big hat. That's his claim to fame. Was he? I pretty sure that was him. He just had like a big top hat.

Look, if you're going to, there's so many things I could say to this person. How many of them should I say? Don't move because you think there's a city where day game is going to work better for you. Because you shouldn't be doing. day game in terms of like, I'm going to set aside a bunch of hours, troll the streets and like harass women. That's, that's not it, my friend. If you want to like meet people out and about, get friends and go out with those friends to bars and then be respectful and chill with women you meet.

And then who knows? My favorite, one of my favorite things is this idea that like liberal women are unfuckable. And I'm like, do you not understand, like think about the, if we're separating ideologies, right? Conservative women and liberal women. What do you mean? Like, liberal women are usually more open with their sexuality. They believe in sex only after marriage. Wait, no, that's the other side. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, what do you? Like, the reason why places that are more liberal are seen as like, mechas of day game is because the women there actually want to have sex and pursue it and aren't chased out of town footloose style for having sex.

Like that's why it seems like New York is this Mecca. It's because the women there are chills fuck and are just out there doing hot girl stuff which is getting laid with the men they want to get laid with. But the problem is his bullshit isn't going to work on them because they have

self-respect and know better and he's going to go and be like it's an emotional roller coaster. I'm going to grab you and hold you against a wall and I'm going to like, no, buddy. So, yeah, this shit isn't working. Stabbed because every woman in New York has a knife. Yeah, and then, man, Danny will drag him out personally by the ear like a disappointed uncle.

Yeah, yeah. He did it so nicely. Yeah, it'll be really charming. Like everything he does. And he'll go viral. He'll look at a camera at the last second and give it a wink. Yeah, yeah. It's like, I mean, I feel like we rag on pickup parts all the time.

So there's plenty of content in which you can just go back and listen to us. Almost 400 episodes for you to go back. I'm not to do it. Hey, as of today, it is 400. God damn it. We should have done something. Believe this is our 400th episode. Technically, it's not, it's like 400 and like fourth because we have other things in there. But I think this is our 400th like normal episode. Damn.

Well, if you want to send us gifts, we will accept Patreon. We will accept whatever. Reach out. We'll see what we can do. No, we'll accept the car. I would love. Neither of us can drive. Yeah, but I want one.

That's fair. We can just sit in it. We can hang out. We can do wings in there. Put the AC. on? We could be the first boys to record in the car that can't be.

That must be there's no way. I'm sure there's a I mean that fucking Seinfeld show was pretty much a podcast that like driving in cars with comedians or whatever. All right. Next question. Just stop. Don't move. Don't move fucking cities for day game. Maybe stop day game and like keep

that realization going and realize that yes, you're being taken advantage of and you're not only being fucked over by other people, you're doing it wrong for yourself. Yes. If you've been doing something for 15 years to get laid and you realize, hey, I'm not getting laid. The problem isn't with the women. It's with you and the thing that you're doing. Right. If every time, if you were like, I've been going to the same restaurant for 15 years and I'm so hungry, my only goal is to get food and I'm going to go to this restaurant and every time I order

a burger, they say, no. And then I'm hungry. I'm still. hungry and I leave and I go to the restaurant every day. In that case, Dan, I would go to another restaurant such as New York where the burgers just walk around the street. Burger mecca of New York City or the world, the world, US, whatever you fucking says. It's probably one of the burger mecca is honestly. Yeah. I mean, yeah, it's New York fucking cities, center of the world. Yeah, you're insane. You're doing like the definition of doing the same thing and expecting different results. Insanity. So you need to stop. And the problem isn't where you live. It's you in the things you're doing. I go to the gym and yell at the water cooler every day.

Why am I not getting jacked? Why am I not fucking shredded? It's, uh, it's dumb and you're dumb and people who do this are dumb. Uh, this is from any willingness. A girl I liked accidentally improved my life. Oh wait, this is the second question I want to do. Well, fuck, we're doing it first. You're fucking shooting from the hip, man. Yeah, I forgot that I had scrolled down in my document. Uh, girl I liked accidentally improve my life. Now I don't know what to do. Around two months ago, I saw this girl at fair. Thought she was really cute. I ended up asking for her Instagram, which is something I normally wouldn't have done. At first, I genuinely wanted to get to know her. We talked once and she was really enthusiastic,

but only lasted one night. After that, our communication became pretty one-sided. She used to like some of my posts and stories, but eventually stopped. She also stopped responding to my messages. To be fair, I rarely messed her because I didn't want to come off as desperate or creepy. The confusing part is that she still sees most of the things I post, but beyond that, there isn't really much interaction between us. Here's the weird part. Before I met her, I spent most of my time, free time grinding mobile games. I didn't really care about how I dressed. I usually wore whatever it was convenient, even when I was going out.

I wasn't doing much with my hobbies either. But because I liked her, I started trying to improve myself. I got more interested in fashion and started paying more attention to what I wear. Even when I'm just casually going out, I care more about my appearance now. I got back into art and started posting my work online. Recently made my first animation and people actually like it. Some people were posted it, commented on it, and it made me realize how much I enjoy creating things. I also got back into singing, playing guitars, hobbies that I neglected for a long time.

At first, I was doing these things partly because I had hoped she'd noticed or become interested. But now I'm realizing I genuinely enjoy them for myself. The problem is, I still like her. Part of me wants to give it one last shot if a natural opportunity comes up. Another part of me feels like the lack of responses is already my answer and I should just move on. Does anyone else experience this? A crush that never really became anything but ended up changing your life for the better. And based on what I've described, what would you do in my situation?

I'm going to just tentatively say I love this. Like, we love someone bettering themselves. And the tentative part is because I'm worried that if this goes poorly, he will backslide. You know what I mean? I don't want him to have it solely tied to this person. And then if she's like, yeah, I'm not interested. He's like, well, back to Candy Crush. I do love this a lot.

And I think it is what everybody should do in general, let alone for their dating, you know, experience. Because like, how nice is this? This is why I brought it. It's the answer of what we palette cleanser that I needed from the last question. Just what buddy from question one, this, do this. Take that 15 fucking, you know how good you'd be at animation if you'd spend 15 years doing it instead of harassing women? This is, we talk about this a lot on the show where we, we suggest like, oh, if you have you go through a breakup or you know, you have a crush that's not whatever or you're like, how do I meet women, blah, blah, blah. This is what we talk about.

When we talk about doing a thing genuinely, like, you know, he started doing the bullshit of being like, I was going to post my art online hoping that she would like it and blah, blah, blah, blah. And he's like, but then I actually kind of like it. So I'm just going to keep doing it. And I've started playing guitar and singing again. It's like, these are all things that the key here is like he's doing things. Like he's like, oh, I want to show off. I want to impress them. I'll do things I like and I'm good at, like my things.

Right? He's not going, oh, she likes art. So I tried to learn it. You know what I mean? He's like, oh, fuck, I want to impress her. which is like not exactly the best, you know, motivation, but like he used that motivation to fuel the things he loves. Yeah.

But I mean, it seems like at this point in time, like he doesn't really care. Like he's doing it now because like, like he's realized that he, he's enjoying these things and he's persisting to do them because he likes them. And that's the thing. I think it was,

it was the bad like impetus or whatever for it, but that doesn't fucking matter. What matters is it became this more genuine thing. I think the important thing is like he's not doing what a lot of people complain about where they're like, I did all these things I'm not into and it's not working. He did what he loved. Yeah.

Yeah. It's not like you started taking a dance class because you saw she. Exactly. Did one dance class once. And you're like, this sucks. I hate it so much. Why aren't people walking to me while I do this thing? I don't like.

It's nice. I like it too. To answer your question in terms of like what you do, I, in no point in time does it say you shot your shot. Yeah. Right? You got her Instagram. I wish I knew more.

They said we had this. one thing. It was like one night. Is it one night that you chatted? One date? One hookup? I think it's, I think it was like, uh, we talked once and she was really enthusiastic. So I assume it was like, you know, on, on Instagram, he sent her a message.

And, you know, that first message of being like, oh, this guy asked me for my Instagram, essentially the, the modern equivalent of asking for a number. Yeah. Like you guys had your first conversation. And then I assume you didn't make a move. Yeah. So now she was like, well, okay. Now you're just a stranger. Now you're just like I'm not going to have like weird casual conversations with stranger. Like that was you needed to make a move and you were in the position to make one quickly because you know this person. Her being enthusiastic was her giving you essentially the go ahead.

I assume, right? Like it's basically all you could go on at that point was like you're getting green flags. You're getting go signals and then you kind of didn't. Right. Yeah. And then maybe you just did the thing where you're just like every time she posted a story, be like, oh, that's a really. cute dog. It's like, well, yes, that's why I posted a picture of the dog. You know what I mean? Yeah. So the bad thing is you've lost the momentum, right? You've kind of been relegated to that guy,

which is fine. The good news is you can build that momentum up again. I don't think you should just flat out, be like, hey, let's go on the date. I think if you just come out of nowhere with that, it's not going to be ideal. I do think you need to start a conversation and not just a bland, like nice dog or something. Like, when she posts something that has meat on it, I think you really need to be like, oh my God, that's amazing. Like ribs, yes, exactly. She posts that dog,

you talk about like, damn, that dog is succulent. That dog had meat on the bones. Yeah. No, you got to like something that you can actually get a conversation out of, especially if it's something related to things you talked about before or whatever. And I think if you get a good conversation going,

you just say, hey, this was super fun. Do you want to meet up sometime? Go for a drink. Grab a coffee. You know what I mean? I don't think doing it cold is the call, but I do think if you just start another conversation,

conversation and it has kind of any of that previous momentum, you just got to shoot your shot. I don't think, I'm going to disagree with you slightly here. I don't think shooting your shot right out the gate. Like, you've, you've made, like, you got her number. You had a chat. I don't think there's any harm in like, you'd have to like have a little bit of like positioning on it a little bit of being like, hey, so I got your, I wanted to ask you out and I got real busy, but now I have got like my, my schedule has opened up and I would love to take you out. You Just something to be like, here's, there's a reason why I did this. And then unfortunately, like, you know, things went crazy.

You know, you don't have to get into detail. You don't have to like say anything. But you just be like, or alternatively, you said you meant a fair. See if there's something similar. Yeah. Going on in town. So if it was like a, you know, a rib fest or a food fest or a music festival. You're really on the ribs today, yeah?

I can't stop thinking about ribs, man. Whatever, whatever that vibe was of the fair, maybe see if another event like that is happening and be like, hey, I just saw X is going to be in town next week. Do you want to go? Because that would be a great way to do it. Like, that's a really fun first date is to like kind of go to a thing that you kind of met. You know, they're like into it, hopefully. And it's a shared experience you both have. So it's a less weird to be like, hey, let's do this thing we both know we like and we have in common versus anything else. Like that's pretty much the least weird thing you could do, right? Yeah. Or alternatively, That's kind of cute.

You, you know, you seem to be into music. You seem to be into art. See if there's like a thing going on. Like, is there like an artist night at a place, an open mic night or something? Like maybe see if there's like find a thing and like find a reason instead of just being like, I agree with now in the sense of being like you can't just be like, hey, you want to grab a drink. I don't think that works. You need to have a hook. If you're going to like shoot your shot just out of the blue, you need to have a hook.

Otherwise, as now said, if your plan is to just sort of like grab a coffee with her, you need to. You need to have a little bit of banter first to warm up. I still think even with the fair or whatever, I would still probably try to have somewhat of a conversation beforehand because like you don't want to just come out of nowhere with it, in my opinion. You know what I mean? I would have the conversation. And it also, if she isn't willing to have the conversation,

maybe that's an indication that she's not into you or that ship has sailed. I don't know. I still think there's nothing wrong with respectfully and chilly asking. And if you get your rejection, that's fine. Sometimes it could be nice for you just to be like, cool, that's ticked off my plate. But I think the most important thing out of anything we've said here today is that you don't let this detract from the positive changes you're making in your life.

If she says, yeah, I'm not interested. Like, I don't want you to backslide, right? So if you think that's a risk, maybe don't shoot your shot because I think this is way more important than a possible relationship with this person. Yeah, whatever happens, you need to remember how good you feel now. Like how good the progress you're making feels. And hold on to that and be like, well, you know, I did a thing that typically I wouldn't.

Like, I went up and asked someone for their Instagram and they gave it to me. Like, that's already a pretty bold, confident, brave move to do. It's the kind of day game Dane loves to see. I fucking love Fareda Game Day. And then you started like reinvesting in your hobbies and yourself. And like you've tidied yourself up. You've cleaned yourself up. You know, you're getting a little bit more presentable and put together.

Like those are all really great things and those are all things that should be celebrated. So if she says no, and you ask her out and, you know, and she's like, no, I'm not really interested. Thank you very much. Then you're still up, right? You've still won. Well, the thing is, what if she liked your grimy, you know, mobile phone? Yeah. What if she was slum maxing?

She was, yeah, she's totally slum maxing. And then you, the next time she sees you because it was going well, then all of a sudden you're a fashionista. And she's like, oh, fuck, does this guy have ambition? He kind of looks like he doesn't smell currently. Fuck. I liked his kind of damp aura. Kind of like a dirtbag who's just fucking getting those dailies done on his mobile games. Yeah.

What mobile games do you think it was? Clash of Clans? Honestly, as someone who plays mobile games sporadically for that, like, that free, free cash app that I use, uh, it's, there's so many that are the exact same fucking game. So who knows? Maybe he's playing, there's a really good, uh, Marvel one. Maybe he's playing that one that fallout shelter. Who knows what he's doing, man.

Who knows? And that's going to be the episode. Me and Dan are going to go play Marvel rivals. We are going to take a break very quickly. To play Marvel rivals? To play some Marvel rivals. Hell. We were right back.

We lost. It was an immediate. Yeah, we surrendered. Destroyed. Right out the gate. Okay. Let's make it realistic. Me and Day never surrender.

We never surrender and people get really mad. People get so upset. We are optimistic. We believe in fighting to our final breath. I'm not going to give up. Which is a very superhero thing to do. Yeah. Imagine if just like,

Thanos shows up at Infinity War and everyone's just like, nah, yeah, you fucking, we're out, we're done. The second it goes poorly at all, like, no, they're just about to win and everyone's like, actually, you know what, I'm out. This is from Living Lightning 28, debating breaking up over GF's comment on Lord of the Rings.

I, 25, recently took my girlfriend, 25 out on a date for her birthday. The topic of discussion about one of my hobbies, Magic and the Gathering came up. I was mentioning some of the IPs they've been using recently and had one of my favorites was Lord the Rings. She mentioned she didn't really enjoy the movies, which I understand and wasn't going to hold against her, until she mentioned she believed the actors were what made the entire movie a success,

that the story itself played no part, that people mainly watch for Orlando Bloom, Kate Blanchett, etc. As someone who loves the books is currently reading the Silmarillion, I was taken aback. I get someone not liking the same books as myself, but to stay outright, it wasn't impactful or relevant at all. After she said she didn't even finish the first movie and she hasn't read the books, I understand not being aware of cultural impact, but just to throw a blanket statement about the franchise felt so wrong. I feel like I've lost a lot of my initial attraction towards her. I tried to give it a few days and the hopes I just forget about it and let it go. I haven't been able to. Am I crazy? Does my reaction make sense to anyone else? I mean, you're crazy. I agree

100% with her. Lord of the Rings is I would say mid, mid-wash fantasy is what I think I would describe it the genre of it. It's really not. It's just a copy of everything else, really. You know what I mean like yeah it copied the like aragon it copied you know look oh dragons oh big trees a wizard wow lord the ring's copied like it's just doing a lot of the stuff that like tulking used to do yeah yeah um i everyone watched it for ke planchitz like 11 minutes on screen between three movies you're right huge hugo weaving fans we love fucking that guy yeah for like Orlando bloom in arguably his least sexy roll. Yeah, he's lamest role.

To be fair, it's a sick role. But like, he's a very... Legola sucks. He's a very pale blonde boy. And maybe it's just not my cup of tea, but it's like, you see him in that, but then you see him Pirates the Caribbean. Who are you going to fuck? I, I think there's a lot of ladies that like a frail elven boy.

I guess it's like the Timothy Shalameh effect. Yeah, I think a lot of ladies got their boxes checked with the wayfish elven man or Orlando Bloom. It's fair. Everyone knows that Gimley was the real. real hot sexy boy. I'll be honest. I'm not a huge Lord of the Rings fan.

I appreciate them. They're great, but it's like, it's not a fandom that like really means anything to me. Like, I'm not obsessed about it the way that like other people like want to watch all of the extended cuts. So good. My partner wants to do it. And I have like, I'm not.

Your partner's fucking sick, bro. You need to get with the times. You need to pick it up. You need to hit Noss. I'll do it on your personality and speed up because you're lagging behind. It just blows my mind that we could watch all of the extended cut or we could watch every Fast and the Furious movie. Well, okay. Now you're- They're about the same length of time.

Now you're making things hard for me. I love Lord the Rings. I read the books when I was very young and I think the movies are phenomenal. And I, like, were someone to say this to me, I would laugh and disagree. Would I get offended? Would I end the relationship? No. I guess, does it say how long they've been dating?

It seems, I don't know. It seems new, considering they were like a topic of. like we were talking about hobbies. So I don't know if it was like, oh, we finally talked about hobbies for the first time or if they were just talking about, you know,

their hobbies in a continuing way. Yeah, be crazy if you've been together for like years and you've just now revealed that you play Magic the Gathering. Hey, I get it while you're hiding it.

But, um, uh, yeah, so I assume it's something new, but it's like I, look, I think vibe checks are important.

And if Lord of the Rings and that kind of stuff is as important to you as it seems, it is, then like, yeah, maybe you don't want to be with someone who doesn't think that Lord of the Rings isn't culturally relevant or important or impactful. Like, I get it. Like, if someone, you know, I'm a big video game guy. There's a couple franchises.

Like, I really like the Final Fantasy franchise. Another single video game has ever been culturally relevant or impactful. Yeah. So if you understand what it's like to support something that just, it's a nothing burger. That no one likes. Apart from Marvel rivals. And they were like, oh, yeah, no, video games. games aren't art. Video games don't tell a story. Video games aren't, I, like, I would find that

hard to reconcile with. Like, I, I would be like, what, what do you mean? It's, it's just a movie. It's like someone took a movie and let you play it. Like the music, the acting, it's all, especially nowadays, where it's like most of the characters are mocapped by, like, professional actors. Also, I mean, they were always professional actors, but you know what I mean, like stars. having art that is interactive in the way the video games are. Like, it's so unique. You know what I mean? But anyway, we could talk about this all day.

It's weird because I'm almost in two minds. In one, it's like, it seems like such a wild thing to just get that offended by and move on rather than having a conversation, which like, I don't know that you did. It feels like they said this and you were like, and you just like kind of went into your mind palace and like started throwing books around. You know what I mean? Like maybe have a conversation. Maybe they were just kind of fucking with you.

Like maybe they were just being funny and like flippant when in reality. when in reality they know it's important to you and whatever. Or conversely, if they know it's really important to you and they're willing to just completely denigrate it and be like, you're an idiot. This sucks. I do actually kind of understand why you wouldn't want to date this person. Yeah. But I think communication is key here.

I do a very funny bit that my partner loves where I insist that Merrill Streep is a bad actress. Wow. Everyone knows that. And that she's a hack. and that like every way she's just overhyped and literally anytime anything she's in or my partner references a movie that she's in I'm just like I'd watch it but Merrill Streep's in it

she'll fucking watch stuff hat and I think that's very funny to me and that's the thing if she's kind of joking with you and like let's be fair it's a pretty bad take so it feels like it's a joke again as someone who does not care about Lord of the Rings at all

it's a bad take Like it's a stupid position to hold to be like, yeah, man, no one likes the story that pretty much set the blueprint for all fantasy. Yeah. Also, like, it's such an enduring movie. Like, people are still fucking obsessed with it versus, you know, the majority of movies. It's, it's a generational thing. My dad was excited to go to the movies with us so that we could experience Lord of the Rings because he read them as a kid and he loved them. So it's like when the movies came out, my dad was like, hell yeah.

So he would take us, we would go see the movies. like I think they always came out around Christmas. So that was like a thing that we did. So we would go to the movies and we watched the Lord of the Rings with them. And now like people our age are doing that with their kids. Right. Like they're they're doing movie nights where they're watching Lord of the Rings with their kids. And it's like the music alone.

The music alone. Howard Shore. He fucking popped off. Howard Shore did not come to fucking play. And he did not come that hard for you to turn around and say it was just Cape Blanchet. who by the way, also killed it. Thank you very much. Let's not, let's not denigrate the actors here.

So good. You know, what, fuck this person. Did you know that Aragon broke his toe when he kicked the helmet? Yes. Did you know when they threw the dagger at him? He actually deflected it in real life with a sword? Unbelievable. Unbelievable.

You like Lord of the Rings, did? No, my favorite thing is I, anytime I ever talks about Lord of the Rings is I do tell about that the helmet kick because it's the trivia that everyone knows. Yeah. And everybody has to say all the time. It's like the, I have dark. vision of TTRPG's. Yeah. I did watch for the, the clip of him fucking deflecting that that dagger. So like, let's be fair, Vigo as Aragorn, peak sexuality. Like, I don't think

anyone could disagree with that. I mean, I think Sean, Sean Beane is Boramere. No, I don't really give a shit about Booramir. Hey, Sean Beans, Boramir, great. Peak sexuality, though? I don't know. I'm just, I'm just being contrary. I've already explained my love for Gimley. He's, he's my boy. He's, he's raw sexual energy. when you're about to come, he says, not the beard. And he says, and my ass. Yeah, I love when you're like about to have an orgy and everyone's like clocking in with the parts they want to include.

My stuff and my ass. Yeah. All right. Let's do our final question. How do I expand my physical type? This is from effective end. I do not have much sexual experience. So I'm in the stage of trying to gain that experience.

learn more of what I like. I don't have as much dating experience either, and I would wonder if it's because I'm picky or psyched out my inexperienced that I jump ship super early under the guise of not feeling it. What I'm finding is as I swipe on the apps is that my physical type isn't that common, but I would like to expand it if that's possible.

If you recognize that the type that makes you go, damn, they're hot, is a narrow field, what can you do to widen it? Is it bad to try to sleep with someone you may not be attracted to? Of course, it would have to be consensual, just to see if you can expand your type. I don't know that you have to fuck someone to be like,

I'm into them now. Like, I feel like you could, there's a realm of, of times that you can like alter your physical type or consider things short of penetration or getting naked together, right? Like, I don't know why you have to be like,

well, we gotta fuck for me to see if I like looking at you. I have a pretty broad variety. Like, I don't understand people who are like, I like this one thing. You know what I mean? It's,

we've had a friend who there was a period of time where he was like only blondes I will I do not think anything other than blonde and then proceeded to pivot hard in like the opposite direction it's but I was like I don't understand I was like what do you mean like you don't think that that bombshell of a woman is attractive because she's not blonde yeah I think she could also be tomorrow did she if she wanted to like it's so reductive like yeah being weird about like hair color get the fuck out of here. Like, I everyone has preferences. I get that. I find it very bizarre if you can narrow that preference down to like a sentence or like three things. Yeah. Like I get vibe. Vibe. I'm more of a, I have a vibe type. And like, let's be real. Like we all know, I like my spooky goth girls.

Like, but again, I don't think if you were to not consider anybody but that, I would find that problematic and strange. And that's not what you do. Yeah. It's also very rarely, I don't think I've ever really dated. You know what I mean? Like if if we look at my dating history, not any of them are really all that spooky. And if we look at the quotes that you put on your Instagram every day, that just say got's good for a night.

That is pretty much one. All my fate is is just. Yeah. Day and be weirdly. Aggressive and like. So yeah. It's that's I already think that's problematic. Right.

And then it becomes even more so if you bring things like race and like, you know, hype or like very specific physical attributes and that's also what I'm concerned about my physical type isn't that common is I'm worried that we're bordering into fetishization territory I would fucking love to know what the hell they mean I would love to know what is it just is it like I want six foot five guy you know what I mean so I think look you need to examine what it is that you are into and like why it is that you're into that thing and like is it just that you're most into that or is everything else a deal breaker for you? Because if it is, I think you need to

do some self-reflection. I think you really need to figure out why it is that something you're narrow casting so hard. You know what I mean? Trying to see if he says... I just got really curious, so I stopped talking. What the type is. Oh, here we go. I told my celebrity...

I told my celebrity... I came out of traits. Full lips, textured hair... Sorry? You were just going... Yeah, sorry, I was reading. full lips textured hair glasses tan slash brown black or deeper skin tone seems to be that's so weird how is that not common maybe glasses like see this feels weird because it's so specific by textured hair do you

mean like non like are you talking about like you know non white hair for example or you're talking about a fucking hairstyle does it need to be curly does it need to be like do you not like straight hair like it feels weird they're trying very hard to say they like black women. Yes. Without saying that they like black women. That's what I'm getting. There's a lot of,

there's a lot of, like, there's a lot of dancing around the subject here. But also, there's, it's weird to me because let me tell you, lots of them around. It's not a very,

oh, my rare type. Like, what do you fucking talking about? Yeah, black women exist, my guy. Like,

I don't know. Unless you live somewhere bonkers, but like come to fucking Toronto, man. Or New York. Day game. The me of day game. Yeah.

Um, yeah. Like he's he's posted a name of Nicole Bloom Garden, which is his celebrity crush. And she cutie. But yes, it seems like he is into black women, which like, okay, fine. Like, that's cool. But I think it really gets the point of. It gets problematic because it feels like you're just fetishizing somebody.

Or sorry, a certain you're like, yeah. Or alternatively, is you're so down. bad for this one lovely woman who I don't really know anything about I won't maybe say anything about her character because I don't know who she is but are you so like down bad for her that you're just like I need a proxy yeah I need a facsimile of I need a Nicole Bloom Garden fucking homunculus what do they even do I have no idea TikTok famous birthdays I have no idea who she is she's from Ted Lassow maybe I don't recognize her okay well either way yes it feels worrying it says the last It feels worrying because you are narrowcasting so much that it feels like there's something

else going on here. And I think maybe you should speak with a therapist or just really examine why you have such a specific, weirdly narrow view of what you find attractive. And again, if this is your top, but there's still a realm of other things that attract you, sure. But it doesn't sound like that. And that's not normal, nor is it right. And I think you're going to get into really weird situations because you're either, again, getting into weird racial stuff or you're you're like fetishizing and you're probably also bringing strange views to relationships. If you're so into something so narrow, you probably also have an idea of what their personality should be like and how they should act and all these things are based on non-reality.

And what happens if they change their hair? Like what happens if they want to go like really short, right? Like or they get laser eye surgery. They don't have glasses. Yeah. Contacts. Are you going to be upset? Also, it is weird because this woman, there's a single picture of her glasses.

But okay. There's probably one and we know that's their screensaver. Yeah. Look, if you want advice on like expanding what you find attractive, you need to look at women as people and not their outward shell, their body, their face, their skin color, whatever. Like when you downgrade and relegate a woman to just her physical attributes, then yeah, you're going to have a hard time finding more things attractive. if those are the only things you're considering. But we've talked about it a lot. And I know Nile and I are the very same on this scenario where it's like,

people can swing drastically with how attractive they are for me and Nile, based on how you behave and what you do, how you act. I've met the amount of people from across a room, you would say are like, one of the hottest people you've ever seen your life. And then you talk to them for five minutes and you're like, oh, you're a piece of shit. And it's like, I wouldn't touch you with a barge pole at that point. And, you know, other people who like, maybe they're like, oh, they look cute. And then you talk to them, they're like, oh, shit, she got it going on.

Yeah. Then they go up and do like the amount of people who I've been like, you know, I wouldn't have looked twice at. And not, again, because they're unattractive. Just like, you know, I don't clock it. And then they'll go up and like do a karaoke song. Yeah. And you're just like, oh, you've, there are bars filling up in my head. And I think you're smoking hot because you just went up and like rocked a heart song or something.

Confidence, the talent, the fun. Yeah. There's a lot of things. And again, if you're narrowcasting so hard, you're going to probably make concessions on somebody you meet because they finally tick these boxes. You're not going to care if they're nice. You don't care if they're whatever. So you're going to be like, well, I'm into this type and I have to say yes because I finally

found them versus somebody else. If you're ignoring what they are like on the inside, you're not going to care if they're great because they don't have these four really weirdly specific things you're into. So you got to do some self-examination. I think you got to look at why you're so into one particular thing and how that is kind of problematic and then just try to give people a chance. And also you don't have to wait to fuck them to figure it out. Yeah. There's, I find that like physical attributes are kind of like bonuses. Those are like perks for me for the most part. Um, where it's like, oh, you know, I think you're cute, which is like the baseline, right? Like I should be there should be a little bit of something. And then it's like we chat and like if you like start setting off fireworks in my head, I'm like, oh, you know, I think. And you've also got a great butt, which is great. But it's like, I'm not going to not pursue something with you if your butt isn't X big or or if your boobs aren't the right size or if your hair isn't the right color or if you're not wearing glasses. Like I'm not going to like that's not going to be a deal breaker for me.

Yeah. The things that I like if you have them, then it's like, yay, cool, great. And like this isn't to say me and Dan aren't looking at people being like, hell yeah. You know what I mean? It's just one, that spectrum is wide. And two, there are far more. things that go into it than just like, you know, how you love. Yeah, the hell yeah.

It's very quickly either exclamation point or, oh, no, based on way more factors than physicality. So should be. And that's how you, like, that's just how you do it. If you want to expand your, your horizons, then you need to expand how you view women. Because right now, it is as narrow as your, you know, your type. Yeah. And if that's it, if that's all you're going to do.

And then, like, if you just look at a woman and you say, not my type, Yeah. She might be lovely. She might be amazing. She might be the perfect person for you. But because she doesn't have X, Y, and Z, you're like, nope. Yeah. The more narrower type is, the more something has gone wrong. I can say that with full confidence. I agree with that. I don't, I feel like there would, I'm sure there's an exception to the rule, but I think, I think that there is a. Yeah, I'm trying to think. I'm sure like, you know, there's always a caveat in something. But like, I do, I do think that we could agree that like, that. statement is going to be true in some regard no matter what yeah I think yeah yeah I'm not going to come out with with hypotheticals that are outlandish just to do this well I am gonna say is thank you Josh Eagle the Harvest Cities for the song paper stars

because we're done here and we're gonna go play right we finished we love you guys if you love us back please join us on Patreon and it's good for you and us because we get to keep the lights on we get to not go broke and you get an extra episode every month and just the joy of knowing that you're helping out your two favorite boys or even your two we kind of like the boys we don't have to be your favorite 10 new patreon members i'll watch all the lord of the rings have you not watched them all i've seen them all i didn't see the i didn't see the like other hobbit movies but how about this if we get 10 new patreon i will make dane watch all three of the extended editions with me and we'll do an episode about

it or i just do it i'm not do an episode if you'd prefer that um we love you guys thanks for coming along and if you don't want to support us monetarily you can always share review uh you know, interact with our posts, et cetera, tell a friend. There are so many ways to do it. You ready for some bad sex writing? I got a quick little Tinder for you. You're not answering, so I'm assuming you are ready. Sorry, yes.

Yeah, I'm ready. I was mentally preparing. No, the thing is, look, I'm just going to spoil a little bit. It's not great. I want you to pick your favorite red flag and we'll discuss at the end because I think I know mine. About me. 148 IQ. Who cares?

Wealthy. Been to all 50 states. Life experienced. Look basic. Not. Cleverer. Need conversation? I'm the best. Elite banterer. Amically divorced after 10 years. Just moved back to K.C. for Mountains of NC. Wife was by. Respectful. Kind. Fun. Sarcastic. Generous. Super open. Ultra loyal. Too honest. Challenge me please. I double dare you. Maybe autistic.

Maybe mommy issues. Accepting applications as you pretend just self-attitled ladies say. Hea. Picky. But not hard to please. Need therapy. Boy. Uh, yikes. I got to pick. one, huh? You will start. What's your talk? Like, the thing that jumps out is being the most red flag. I mean, the therapy thing at the end there is, he's got like. He knows about himself, man.

Mine and his wife was by. Yeah. There's no need to bring that up unless you're trying to do something with that. And I don't like it. It's bad. We couldn't even begin to guess what you're trying to do with it, but we don't like that you are. Yeah, right? Like, that to me, it seems innocuous at first.

But the more you look at it, you're like, hmm. Why is that there? I think my second being. biggest red flag is just he. Just he. He's slowly turning into a dark souls MPC. Yeah. My wife was once by.

Amically divorced 10 years ago. I'm cleverer. Elite banterer. I cannot imagine having a conversation with this fun at all. Yeah. It's amazing to say need conversation. I'm the best while delivering the most painful. One of the most painful like profiles of.

ever read. 148 IQ, who cares? Powerful start. Yes, that's good. I like that. Genuinely, like, that's all I need to know. Yeah. Yeah, that, honestly, I was pretty excited when I heard that.

I was like, fuck yeah. We're going to get into some weird shit. I guess we did. Did. Yeah, this is incredible. And I hope this person gets all the hope that they obviously need. My name is Day Miller. And I'm now Spain.

And we've been your fuck buddies.