F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Please Be Cool, John Cena

Episode Date: April 13, 2026

With the state of the world and, you know... everything, I don't think expecting John Cena to be cool is really that much to ask for.  Topics include masturbating to your date's profile, chatty blowjobs, being attracted to women, but not liking them, and dampening the clapping of cheeks. Join the Patreon!

Hello friends. My name is Day Miller. I'm Nile Spain and we are your fuck buddies. We're sex and dating advice podcast where we take your sticky, sexy situations and turn them into sexy sticky situations. We find questions either online from our wonderful listeners and we answer them right here, right now, for your pleasure and comfort. I need to. I need to. So I think I talked about it very briefly last week. I had a real rough week with my cat last week. I didn't get a whole lot of sleep. It was tough. But what I did do while not sleeping was watch a lot of interviews with John Sina and a lot of John Sina oriented content. Classic advice that people give when you can't sleep, John Sina interview.

Just watch some John Sina. And I need to make a public plea and just say, please, John Sina, don't be a bad person. Don't be secretly all the, you know, all your make-a-wish granting was on Epstein Island or something. You know what I mean? Like, please, please be. Well, when I looked at the John Cena videos, all his make-a-wish children had extra fingers. Hashtag AI.

I don't know. He just seems like such a nice guy. And I've met him a couple times. And every time he's been so nice. You've met him a couple times? Yeah, yeah. You can't just drop a casual, like humble braggy. Like, I've met him a couple times.

Not even one. Not even two. So I used to work at a restaurant right by. I used to work at WrestleMania. The road was long agrueling. No, I used to work at a restaurant right by an airport, right by like the major Toronto airport. And so I think I met him twice there and then once at another restaurant. So like it's all been restaurant related.

Did he remember you? He remembered me when I was at the airport restaurant because it was like within like a year or whatever. And I'll fucking take my non-existent hat off to Mr. Sina for that because that's kind of cool. And he asked, I remember specifically the first time he came in, he asked 4,000 Island dressing. And I was like, we don't have that. But I can't make it for you. You know what? I do remember this story weirdly.

I just don't remember it involving John Cino. I'm like, John Cina. It's like, John Cina, man, a thousand island dressing. And this was. You got me. This was when John Cina was like first starting to like become popular in wrestling, right? Like this was like early John Cina when I think he had just adopted like the thugonomics persona. and I made this thousand island dressing for him.

He said it was the best thousand island dressing he's ever had in his life. I don't believe, but it was nice to say. And then he spoke to my manager and thanked it was like he made. I was like, you don't have to do that, John Cena. You're John Cena. Even now, like you're a big deal and you're. Also, let's be fair. No person has to do that.

And a lot of them don't. A lot of them really fucking don't. Let me tell you, they're just going to do the opposite. They're going to do the shitty fucking thing. So be more like the. John Cena Dane Matt and not the John Cena we fear he could be. That's, yeah, I was just like, you know what? He just, I just watched a video where he was talking about, like, how he keeps a pocket

watch on him that has an engraving on both sides. And one is, um, comparison is the thief of joy. And that's like his thing of being like, you know, I always felt like I wasn't enough. And I always felt like I was a fraud and no one actually liked me. And, you know, anytime I had these moments where I'd walk out and like in front of audiences, It was tough for me to remember that like, well, I did work to be here. And I might not be the most talented person in the room or whatever. But, you know, I put in my lumps.

I worked hard and I got here. And I think I should enjoy that. And then on the other side was Momentumori, which was his being like, if I ever get a little too full of myself and think that I am the most talented guy in the room, I need to remember that I am a human who can die. And I am not better than anyone. And I was like, imagine is so powerful. He has to remind himself he's not a more.

Yeah. I imagine if like every celebrity took that approach or any or yeah, or politician or athlete or just like an average person. Like it, I don't know. He seems like a really cool guy and I just I just really need him to not be bad. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's just great because we we have nothing but bad right now. Just everywhere. That's great. It's wonderful. I love that every politician is like, you know what? I'm sick of pretending. We're just going to be the worst open. and brazenly. And everyone else was, and I remember me and you talking about this a while ago, it's like back in the day, it was like, never trust a politician. Now everyone's like, I, my whole personality is based on this lying man who's ripping me off. I love him. It makes no sense.

I like, what it happened. Like, even like you look back and it was like like rednecks were anti-cop, anti-establishment, like they, that's how they were, they were made. Were these like farmers who were oppressed by the cops and oppressed by the government and they were paid like almost like the way that slaves were given like the script to be spent on like the stores and stuff like that. That's how like that's the start of rednecks. They like had a huge gut. Like they would have shootouts with the cops all the time.

And now it's like, no. They lick that boot. Now you're just sucking on boot. Yeah. It's very strange to me. Back to questions, none of which I'm sure could be depressing or make us question our lives. It is funny that we were joking about before we started recording. recording, we were like, and we'll

banter for about five minutes. I believe I said 17 minutes. Yeah, and then we did do that. Yeah, that was your fault. You brought John Cena. Guy I'm dating masturbates to my dating profile is one of the questions today. I never kind of gave us the runway of this week we'll be talking about.

Chaddy blowjobs? You motherfucker. I also have chatty blow jobs. He thinks I'm too chatty during blow jobs? Yeah. Yeah. How do you make sense of being attracted to women, but not, really enjoying their company. Had it dampen the clap of them cheeks. Ooh. All right, this is by Advanced Ad 1509. Guy I'm dating masturbates to my dating profile. Titles of self-explanatory. I, 23 year old female, been seeing this guy, 25 year old male, for about

a month. We are sexually active. You recently admitted to me that he jerks off to my photos on my hinge profile. We don't have each other on any other social media because we're both inactive, so those are the only pictures he has of me, his words. Initially I was super weird. I wasn't super weirded out by this. But now I can't stop thinking about it. I'm realizing I don't like it. I'm not sure how to bring it up either. Should I just unmatch? Hmm. I think it's fair to not be into it.

I think it's fair to be like, I don't know. It is strange. Like, I don't think what he's doing is particularly weird in terms of like, you know, you're into this person. You're having sex with this person. You have, so therefore you have like sexual fantasies of this person. Yeah. And you're just using a little visual aid to do it.

I think it gets weird. I think the weird part is telling them. I don't know. It's like him doing it. I'm like, whatever. Like I don't really, I'm not going to like damn you for that.

It's fine, I guess. Like no one's, it's kind of like a victimless crime. But now you're like, hey, victim. Just want you to know.

And it's just kind of seems like an indoor thought, like an inside thought. Like, no one needs to know that. Yeah. Like I think if you want, I assume he was trying to be hot. I assume he was trying to be like.

Or he was fishing for more pictures. Yeah, I mean, that seems to be maybe another thing, an angle he was playing. Well, I don't have any pictures. So these are ones I'm doing. If you want to send me sexy pictures. He also probably thought it was complimentary and or flattering and or sexy. Yeah, right. And I think like you saying that like, oh, I'm stroking my cock thinking about you.

But these are things that I think you send like as it's happening or at least like when you're trying to initiate some sort of sexy texting. I don't know what the situation was. when you're like, oh, I use your pictures to jerk off. It was it an offhand compliment? Was it in a sexy context? Like what? I'd like to know how he brought it up and when he brought it up. Yeah, because the way it's like kind of laid out here sounds very clinical and cold,

but that's just, it could just be the way the question's going. Like if you were in the middle. Yeah, if you were in the middle of kind of being like, hmm, then it actually might not be a weird thing to have said. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it depends on like context and like when it was said and how it was said. Yeah.

And like I've had people tell me that like they've played with them. well thinking of me. And that is lovely. I've had people tell me that they've played to themselves while listening to this podcast because they like both of our voices. Hey, cool. I'm fine with that too. And if you're listening, I hope that didn't break you out of what you're doing. Yeah. Um, it's been a while. I don't know if they still listen, but it was like, that's a, that's a thing you told me at work. Okay. Um, so like, I don't know. And I think, look, there's a lot to this. One, Why are you weirded though? Right?

It's like you, they're not doing anything wrong. It's not like they've stolen your pictures. It's not like they've put them into AI. It's not like, you know, they just find you hot. You find them hot.

You're sexually active. So it seems strange that this would be much more different than that. And especially because you weren't weirded at that initially, you kind of just got there. So I would just like to know, I'm not saying you're in the wrong for it. I'm just interested if you've put kind of words to it, right? Because, you know, I don't know.

I'm just intrigued. I think you definitely can. I'm just interested as to why. Yeah, I think just like to touch on that, I think a good thing to be is like, as now said, it's like you transitioned, right? You went from being like, that's fine to that's not okay.

I think like break down that transition and figure out where, like when, what was it you thought of or what was it that like you put yourself in the position of that got you to the part of be like, oh, actually, actually like what were you dwelling on? What were you mulling over? Because I think that will give you some pretty good insight

as to whether this act specifically makes you uncomfortable or if it's the idea of like, maybe you're like, well, how many other guys are doing it? And that's kind of like grossing you out and being like, well, now my picture is out on social or like on this dating platform where people are looking to hook up with. So the idea is there. It's like how many strange men are jerking off to me? I understand that could be quite troubling. Or does it feel like dehumanizing?

Because these aren't necessarily sexy. It's not like a lingerie pick, presumably. It is just you doing your thing. Like maybe it's you at brunch with your mom. Like I don't know. And it could be like there's almost like a feeling of violation there. So like again, totally understand that. I just think it's good to put a name to the feeling.

And that will help infer or inform you like one. Are you feeling this way logically or is it like a knee jerk reaction? Like is it something you can work through on your end? Is it something you can work through by talking to them? Or is it something that has burned this bridge in which case you should unmatch? Because I think all three are possible, right? The second thing, this poor guy, I think, is suffering from what a lot of men suffer from. I think it's that he would be thrilled to hear you say the same.

So he thinks if I like, she like, ergo, I think it's why a lot of men do send dickpicks. Because they are like, I would love if I got any kind of nudity from her. So you send me a picture of your boobs. Yeah. It would make my day. This is my boobs. This is my boobs. And ladies, my dick is my boobs.

So I'm sharing with you the most treasured part of me. Yeah. And like not to excuse that and not to say that all of it is just this idiocy. A lot of it is malicious. A lot of it is whatever. I'm not excusing it by any means. But I do think a lot of people, especially like when they're younger, don't think like, oh, it's different for them. They're just like, I would like this.

So you would like this. Yeah. I am doing a thing that I would like reciprocated. So therefore, here it is. Yeah. Maybe now you do. Yeah, maybe no you do. Or I made your day with my boobs.

And I had a third point, but I don't know. We got way laid. So I think it's worth, if you're having fun and you're enjoying your time with this person, I don't think there's any harm in saying like, hey, even if you don't know, even if you've searched your brain, you've done some self-reflection and you're like, I don't really know why I don't like this. That's fine. Sometimes you don't know.

Sometimes it's hard to like sort of figure things out when there is a sort of, you knee jerk or gut reaction to things. And so maybe you just like have a conversation and be like, hey, I really don't like that. And it kind of like weirded me a little bit and see where that conversation goes. Because there's no harm in like being open and communicative with your sexual partners. Especially in the early stages of a sexual relationship. That's where you learn for figuring out how compatible you are. Because if you can't have a conversation, it's not going to go well regardless, right?

I will say it is sometimes frustrating to be talking. to someone and they bring something up and then you have questions and they don't know, right? So, I would very much try to have words for them or the situation because, or if not, understand that it is kind of frustrating to be like, I'm bringing up a thing. Okay, you want to talk about it? Well, I can't. I don't know what I feel about it. Like, that is very frustrating. I just want to get that out there. Like what your solution would be or what you want out of the situation. So even if you don't really know X and Y, you know where you want this conversation to go. And whether it's something along lines of like, I don't want you to do that anymore, or I don't

want to hear about it anymore. Or even if it's just something along lines of like, it grossed me because I don't want to think about other men doing that to me. Or it felt like, it just kind of opened a door that I didn't think about previously. And it made me feel a little skeevy. It felt dehumanizing, like that you're taking these things that weren't attended for that. And it's like, I'm almost like an object for you when, you know, whatever it is. I just think because how I was about to finish this was be like, oh, and then depending on how they react in that conversation. But I don't want to like put somebody in a frustrating situation and then blame their frustration on something else.

Because I do think if you're genuinely trying to work towards getting somewhere and the person bringing up a problem can't even articulate their side, it can be really frustrating to be like, well, how do I help this when you won't give me anything? you're just kind of being like no no solution no information just criticism yeah not that it's you know to be all and all I just want people to think about that going in and understand it could be frustrating on the other side yeah because you might like if you have this conversation

dude might be like hey I'm really sorry I thought you would find it like hot because I that's how I intended it to be I wanted it to feel like I can't get enough of you and I think about you and you are a source of a sexual fantasy for me you know blah blah if on

the other side, he's like, well, I can do whatever I want. You put him out there, blah, blah, blah, blah. Then I think you get a pretty good sense of like where this person stands in terms of like your feelings and your needs and your desires and how you would like to be perceived in the relationship. I think you get a pretty good snapshot of who a person is when you bring up a vulnerability to them. Too late.

I'm doing it right now. Thanks, Greg. It's not me. Because again, you said that he said those are the only pictures he has. You unmatch him. pictures go bye-bye. They're gone. True. True. I think your steps are, do a little bit of work on your own and figure out what this actually does to you, why you don't like it, what bothers you? If you can't really figure that out, then at least have an idea and a goal that you want to achieve

while talking to this person. And then when you have this conversation, pay attention to what they say and how they react and make the decision. Or as Nell said, and as you suggested, if this does not matter enough to you. If you do not care about seeing this person and it's really just one of those big icks, just unmatch and move on. Yeah. Maybe you don't need to have this conversation. When you figure out what your problem is, you're going to have a better idea if it falls into, I can deal with this on my end. I need to talk with them to deal with it or I don't care or it's big enough that I'm out. And then you just follow the appropriate route. Yeah. And all three are valid and acceptable ways to deal with this. So, and for the guys out there, maybe think about how

words can be construed. And think about intention. I think there's a lot of like, as Nell said, I think a lot of people think about I like this. So you like this. I think you need to think about the intention of what you're trying to convey. If that's what you're trying to do, then maybe start with a, you know, if you want to send a dick pick because you're hoping to initiate a exchange of information, some picks back and forth. maybe start with a verbal thing and be like, hey, I've been thinking about you. I'm rock hard.

I can't, you know, blah, blah, blah. And if they seem interested, then you can be like, would you like to see? Yes. Because you don't want it to be non-consensual. Yeah, maybe they're in a business like meeting or whatever. And they're like, I can't have my phone pinging off the dickpicks right now. And also I don't feel or I don't feel particularly sexy right now. And I don't want to like deal with this.

Yeah, because like if they're. I don't know sweaty after a long day of work and they're just vegging on the couch munching on some smart food maybe they don't want to be like well now I got to clean my fingers and I got to go

yeah it's like people have lives and you just can't have people be horny on your whim and on top of that do not send it non-consensually doesn't matter if you're like well I would like it no we're not excusing that behavior yeah so think about your intent

when you send messages when you try to be sexy I think when you sexed What is your intent? What do you want? What are you looking for? And what are you hoping they get out of it? Right? I think that's the big thing.

What I think is really funny is I think there's a non-zero chance this man does not masturbate to these photos and is either trying to be like, you're really hot and I really like you or I want sexier pictures and has chosen this route. I bet you like there's a pretty decent chance that he doesn't masturbate to the picture of you in your hoodie at a farm. And he's just beefed it. So it's like if you again, like Dane said, with intention, if you want to get from A to B, there's probably an easier way to do that than I jerk off to the pictures that you sent or that

are on your profile. Can't get enough of that one photo of you on a beach like 80 miles away that every girl has on her fucking dating profile for some reason. It's like, yeah, cool. I love seeing you as a one inch person. I love an eight pixel girl. Can't get enough of those eight. pixel girls.

This is from Coco X-O. He thinks I'm too chatty during blow jobs. Hi, so I've been with my boyfriend for a few months. Don't you dare. And before him, I didn't really have

any experience with sex. I was actually pretty anxious when we started to be in intimate, even though he was still super sweet and supportive. The first time I sucked his dick, I was really overwhelmed. I just started talking about random stuff

during it to try to empty my head. It worked really well. So I kept doing it. I've gotten more confident and now I love just blowing them. But I didn't really stop doing it. I didn't think I can or I don't think I can. To be clear, if I blow him in the middle of sex,

I stay pretty focused on that because I'm trying to actually make him come. But whenever we're cuddling in his or my bed, and I start casually blowing him, which happens very often, that's when I start to get super chatty. I tell him about my day, I ask about his, we talk about random silly stuff or argue about some movie. Sometimes we have straight up deep conversations about life and stuff, and in between phases I go back to slowly sucking them.

I genuinely love these moments. They're so cozy and warm, and I kind of thought it became our thing, you know? But recently, he told me he'd prefer if I stayed quiet. That kind of hit me like a truck. He never seemed annoyed or anything. He always gets just as invested in our chats as I do, but he wants me to just suck silently. I tried it a couple times. It didn't go well.

I was stressing the whole time. The silence was making me anxious, and I just really missed our chats. I feel pretty insulted and hurt, honestly. I don't like that I do, because if he doesn't like it, that's okay, and I should respect it. But I still do. It felt like he. was telling me to shut up and that he only cares about the blowjob part, not the rest of what made those moments special. Am I reading too far into this? And I feel like, I feel like I am, but I can't

stop fixating on it. What should I do about this? Would it be better to stop the casual intimacy completely? Oh, God, there's so much, I have to say. So it, oh, my God, there's so much. So the distinction of like, oh, there's the time when I'm blowing him to make him come. And then there's the other time. So is the aim not to make him come? Does he know that? Because, Because if it were me, I would not want there to be a blowjob without the expectation of making me come unless it was like a blowjob before we're about to fuck, in which case I'm going to come. Like, I don't want a non-come blow job because that's the point. And otherwise it's just frustrating. And I'm wondering if he doesn't realize you don't intend for him to come and you start, you're getting him worked up, then you stop to have a chat, then you go back and he's like, and the meter's going up and down.

and he's never really getting there. And you're like, oh, yeah, this is just casual intimacy, which I don't know what you mean by that. I assume she must finish him eventually with the chaplow jobs. I know she never says it, but she makes a distinction between. If not, then I agree with you, yes. But even if it is eventual, unless he has signed on for this edging, right, which is effectively, which clearly he hasn't because he said,

maybe we don't do that. You know what I mean? It seems like a communication and intention and just confusion everywhere, right? And him saying, hey, can you not, can you be quiet while you're giving me a blowjob? I don't think he's saying don't talk to me. I don't think he's saying don't be intimate with me. I don't think he's saying let's not chat. I think he's just saying let's separate church and state here.

Like it seems like he enjoys the chats. In fact, if he's having them and is happy to have them even while you're giving him dick confusion, He must really love the chats, right? So it's like maybe clarify, hey, we can still chat, right? Because it doesn't seem like you can't not still chat. He just wants his blowjob to be his blowjob. And then maybe after you could chat, right? And this seems totally fine.

Like, I don't see what taking a blowjob out of the middle of these chats like negatively affects on your end. But I do see how it positively affects his end. Yeah. I mean, look, I think it is kind of cute. if everyone was involved, I think like if he was enjoying like, you know,

when it's his time to talk, you just go sucking. Sure. Everyone was signed in and enjoyed it. He doesn't. No. Yeah. And that's what I'm saying.

And I think what ended up happening is, um, you became emotionally attached to these moments in terms of bonding. Not because of sexuality, but because of like these chats and you felt close to him. And, you know, you,

you took the intimacy of it and not the sexuality of it. And you didn't factor into, as Nile said, like, what it's like to be edged and what it's like to start and stop and start and stop and what it's like to want to eventually come. And, you know, get to that point and being like, it can be frustrating. And it can be a almost inadvertent emotional response to it in the sense of being like, you can get kind of frustrated. It's why, like, guys who lose their erection or can't come get quite frustrated. It's not necessarily they're getting frustrated at you. It's just there is a, a built-up pent-up frustration that happens when, like, sexual release does not come,

especially if you are not consenting to that prevention. Edging is a very particular, like, kink. So it's like you need to have talk about, you need to have talk. You need to talk about kinks and to go into them. You can't just kind of thrust them on people. So it feels like you're kind of unwillingly putting him in this situation. But you've also never clarified, like, what you want and what you're doing and, you know, whatever. And again, can't you have these moments without the blowjob? Can you have the blowjob

pre or post? And also, what do you mean like a casual intimacy? Do you mean like, oh, I'm just stroking his dick, but I'm not going to make him come? Because again, that would kill me. That would suck. I wouldn't want that. If you want to cuddle me, if you want to kiss me, if you want to like broke my hair or, you know what I mean? Like, if you want to do something else that isn't sexual, yeah, we can have casual intimacy and chat and be close physically. I don't want you to half jerk me off. I don't want you to half blow me. Yeah. I think there needs to be a conversation of being like, you guys laying out what you enjoy and what you like. And you need to understand that like, like I said, like I think you've really become emotionally attached to this. It's kind of like an emotional support blowjob now. Like you, you were so nervous. The episode title.

You were so nervous about having sex and then when you realize that you can chat it through and talk about stuff and that calmed you down, that became a crutch for you. And that shouldn't be like you shouldn't only be able to have sex when you're having an inane or sort of like casual conversation. If that's the only way you can unwind and get out of your head and be able to enjoy sex,

then there's something else at play here. And like you say that like because you weren't able to talk while giving this blow job. You were getting like all worked up and stressed out and anxious and everything. Like that shouldn't. That's not normal. Nor good. Nor like it's not something that you can keep going long term in a positive way.

Yeah. Like there's there's something else going on here that needs to be addressed. And the sort of thrusting of edging onto your partner is not the solution, especially when it seems like he dealt with it for a while. And I would also, like I'd love to know how we talked about it. you say he's super sweet and super supportive. I can't imagine he was like, hey, can you not talk while you suck my dick? You know what I mean?

Like, I imagine that's not how the conversation went. And I think that like, again, you were so emotionally invested in this act. Taking it the worst way. Yeah, and it became so important to you and you built up this sort of like romance around it because I think you are deep down insecure about the fact that you need to do it so that you patted it out with being like, it's not an insecurity thing. It's a super sweet, beautiful. moment. Yeah, it transcends blowjup. Yeah. That we do. And it's like, well, no, it's a thing that you

need to do in order to participate in sexual activity. And you've made that okay with yourself by framing it as a couple's activity when in reality it is a sort of crutch that you need to use to get over a social anxiety or sexual anxiety or whatever, whatever you're dealing with. And it's super frustrating for the other person, which you've never thought or cared about? Yeah. And it's like, it's okay if you have those things, but you need to figure out the like solution. And because this isn't it. Unless, as I mentioned before, everyone was okay with it, which is very obvious that he is not because he's asked you to stop.

He's also probably quite confused. If you can give him a blowjob during sex and it isn't an issue, he probably doesn't like, why would he then think, oh, she needs to do it this way and these times, right? Well, I wouldn't think that. If you could do it right one time, why would I think you'd need to do it a different way another time? Because you, again, have this strange, like, division, this partition between sex and casual intimacy. I don't know what you mean. I don't know why giving a blowjob during sex is different to giving a blow job another time. So it's like, I understand he's confused. I understand he doesn't get it. There's no way he would, I think, jump through hoops, unless you've communicated this to him to get to the point of him getting what you're doing. He probably just thinking. that I don't know. He's just like, I want to come and then we can do the chats. If he was like, hey, blow me and leave or he got his blowjob on that didn't want to talk to you, yes, I would understand where this issue is. But like at no point in this question, have you said that he doesn't want to talk to you? He just wants his blow job to be a blow job. If it's, yeah, if it was like, oh, the only time I get to like ask about his day or whatever, the only time he'll like stop playing

video games or something and like actually talk to me is when I do this, then it would be a different question. It would be a whole other ballgame and I think we would be focusing a lot more on his for sure his his behavior than yours. But if it's just sort of like, oh, it's blowjob time or oh, it's sex time or it's, you know, we're getting into sexual activity time. Yeah, I don't, I think we need to like kind of compartmentalize it and figure out like maybe we hold off on the jets. Not to say that like I've definitely had sex while like having like a how was your day in like a fun playful way you know i've come over to someone's house after it's not like you stopped thrusting every time you talk like that's i think pretty fucking key here you know so yeah look you got to talk to

him you got to explain like i don't know where you're coming from but i think first you got to understand that when you're giving somebody a blow job like i mean you're getting them up and down and up and down and like extending it and extending it and like giving them periods of like no sexual satisfaction then sexual like stimulants you know it's it's a lot and it is edge of And it is a thing he has not necessarily consented to. And apparently does not want because he just told you that. So it's like him wanting things not to be that isn't bad in any way, shape, or form. He has communicated to you, which is good.

So like this is all positive. The only negative I could see is if he literally was, hey, shut up and blow me. If that's how he approached this. Other than that, he is being totally reasonable and rational. And you have taken that to the worst possible. Like he just wants me to shut up. I'm a sex object. That's not fair.

I mean, I think it never really says that you like discuss this anxiety with him either. And I think that's kind of a key point to like to not disclose that information and to not like talk about that with him as to being like, this is why I do this. This is this is how we got here. Because as an outside, it's like there's no reason why anyone would would connect these dots. For all he knows, this is just like, you're just a chatty blowjob. Like that's just. 100%. That's what he thinks.

And again, he put up with it for a long time. And it wasn't like he was checked out during these conversations. You say he's like firmly invested. You're having great chats. He's engaged. Like blah, blah, blah, blah. So it's like he's not being a dick, it seems, in any way, shape, or form. He let you do this for a long time.

He is engaging even when his blood is elsewhere. And I'm sure all he's thinking about is just nothing. Like, it seems like he's doing it right. And now he's communicated to you hopefully kindly. and it's kind of super shitty to turn around and be like, well, he wants me just shut up and fucking blow him. And it's like, well, girl, no. That's just what a blowjob is.

He's just looking for a regular blowjob. He just wants to not be kind of tortured. Like, you've given him like low-key torture and he's like, please, please. So just listen to our words. I'm going to end more questions like that. Yeah. Before we do any more of our words, we're going to take a quick little break. And we're back.

This is by Astronomer Number 23. How do you make sense of being attracted to women, but not really enjoying their company? Answers for men only. I'm trying to figure out how to articulate this, since it's more of a private thought than anything else. I'm curious if anyone else relates. Do you ever find yourself attracted to women

but not really enjoying their company on a day-to-day level? Like the physical romantic pole is there, maybe the physical more than the romantic, in some cases, but socially or conversationally, it feels harder to connect or stay engaged. If you felt this, how do you make sense of it? It's just compatibility, past experiences shaping things, or something else? Misogyny.

Oh, no, my dude doesn't, my dude doesn't think women are people. Yeah, you've put women in a category that is subhuman to you, that is below you, that you think you're better than them. You think that they don't have the same level of, you know, either intelligence or interest or whatever. And therefore, you have a hard time connecting with them because you don't see them as equals. you don't see them as people, you don't see them as humans because you're a bad person.

Yeah, gross. You're a gross troll man. Yeah, I, I, yeah, like, what do you, it's worse almost that you ask this in such an innocent, like, unassuming way of like, huh, you ever just like hate all women, but want to fuck them? And it's like, huh, wow. You ever, you ever find women just holes? You ever find that women are just holes?

I don't get it. Interesting. Like, what do you mean? Do you think half the fucking existing world is uninteresting or boring or hard to communicate with? Do you think that is reasonable? I mean, like, break it, yes. Do you genuinely think that's fucking reasonable? Could that be possible?

And not even that. Just someone being a woman means they're boring or whatever the fuck word you want to ascribe to it? Like, do you genuinely think that is possible? And instead, it's not just a you being a fucking gobshide issue. Look, we might be being too hard because he says he has trouble connecting with them. So like we he's not saying that they're boring or whatever. But like, yeah, look, look, I agree. Not enjoying their company socially or conversationally hard to connect or stay engaged.

I don't know. He's let, yeah, maybe we came down a little too hard. He's dancing on the rim. He's, he's in the bad place, but he's hoping to get to the good place we, we think. But to, to add to your point is you, you really don't think that out of, you know, however many billion women that are out there, you wouldn't be able to connect with a single one of them. You wouldn't be able to have an engaging conversation

or spend time with that you enjoy the experience with. You don't think that that's possible. You look at women as a monolith and you say, can't do that, just not going to enjoy that. They're so different on a fundamental level that I just cannot. They're just like you, bud. I hate to break it to you. Eat, not to go back to promoting other shows and people, but.

We know, Dean. Our producer is in the corner. He's throwing bricks at me. And he's saying, only talk about us. Say we are the best people in the world ever. Say it. See, this is the good thing when the producer is in your apartment. Because you're the one who gets the bricks throwing at no matter what.

I wish I hadn't signed this deal. My legs are, they're purple. Yeah, from bricks. This isn't even the light behind me. This is just the glinting of my leg. It's the light reflecting off your legs. But Therapy Jeff did a video the other day about the red flag if they don't have women friends. Yes.

I agree. Like there is a huge red flag. Whenever people like men specifically, but I think I think anyone, if you don't have friends of the opposite gender or another gender identity, I think that's a huge red flag. If you don't have friends who are queer in any regard, I think that's a huge red flag. I think if you don't have a diverse friendship, if you don't have friends, if you don't have friends, who are people of color, you don't have friends who are. Like, if you don't have,

if you, if you look at your friend group and they are a mirrored version of yourself, I think that is a huge red flag. And I understand that there are some communities in which it is difficult to just, just be some like population, like the likelihood that you,

you know other people. And that's, those are, those are the exceptions. But I think like if you live in a city like Toronto, and all of your friends are white men, and you are a white man, Because that's the thing about that is like you would have to have finally crafted that friendship friendship because like there's no way you would have done that by accident.

Or you've been like it is so ingrained in the culture of like how you were raised and you have just been like this is fine. And I have no interest in ever breaking status quo and like enjoying anything outside of what I've been told is okay. Yeah, but that's still the choice is what I'm saying, because like Toronto would be impossible not to orbit into many other different spheres. And it's like, if you've done all that and you're just like, nope, it's me, Chad and Michael. And we're or you suck so hard that every other group you interact with is like, I'm actually recusing myself from this situation. Yeah. So I mean, like, I was very, very lucky. Throughout my entire life, I've been friends.

I mean, like growing up from the time I was little to. probably about 14 when I started like hanging out with dudes. But like up until then like all of my best friends were women. I spent almost all of my time in like female groups. And even in college, like I spent a lot of my time with the ladies in my college program. Just because like I was a little bit more mature for my age. I was young. But like all the other guys was like seven in college.

It was crazy. But it's like all the guys like my age were like, you know, fucking. doing Edward 40 hands and like and I didn't drink and like it was just like I was like I don't want to come over into like the fart dorm room where it's a bunch of guys like doing nothing and smoking weed and getting drunk all the time and not doing anything interesting or I could like hang out with the girls and talk about stuff and like do stuff and like we would go for walks like it was just I don't know it was way more emotionally and intellectually rewarding very different colleges I was in the girls.

dorm getting hammered with the girls. Yeah, it was just like, you know, I mean, I didn't drink. So yeah, that's kind of the main difference. I would have been in the stinky fart dorm. But there also would have been women there. So that's the key difference. Yeah. It's.

And like, I'm so happy that that was my upbringing. I'm so grateful that I had women who were smart and lovely and compassionate and, you know, willing to. Or at least enough of women that. It's the same. Like, there's no difference. It's not like women are all smart and emotional and compassionate. But it's also not like they're not.

They're the same as fucking man. You're going to get smart, compassionate man, and you're going to get dickbag man. And you're going to get dickbag women and smart, compassionate women, which is what, like, I just want to grab that information and jam it into the fucking

face hole of everybody with questions like these. We're like, oh, you can't be friends with women. What do you do it? What are you doing with your life? You're actually living this pathetic of a fucking existence. And you're actually that,

fucked mentally that you believe that like really actually that's that's the answer the answer to this question is you're the problem yes yes and the thing it's not women who need to fix their compatibility with you you are the problem and you have a deep seated issue about women for whatever

fucking reason uh that is the that's the problem it's not it's not women it's not society is you you it could be it could be a lot of things it could be that you're only interacting with women that you find attractive and are ignoring all the other things such as like, you know, maybe you're trying to talk to him on a fucking bus and you're not getting much of a conversation because they want you to leave, right?

Maybe they do like you, but you're not focusing on the fact that you have nothing in common with them. You're just like, oh, you're hot. And the person you might have something in common with isn't someone you find attractive and therefore you're ignoring them. And because, again, the third problem, you probably also just think women are sex. So you're trying to have a conversation. But the conversation for you is, well,

This isn't leading towards sex. And for them, they're like, oh, I'm talking to someone. And you're like, disconnect. Like, it's clearly you, right? It is your. Yeah. You don't know that women are people. That is your fucking problem.

So that you need to, like, at work, I'm sure there is a woman that you are not attracted to. Have a conversation with her. And with the idea of being like, I'm not here for sex. I'm here to talk to. And like it doesn't have to be an engaging conversation. I'm sure the conversations you have with the dudes in the break room aren't fucking deep earth shattering like revelation. I would I would love to know what conversations you're having with men and what you think you're getting out of those because like are they also surface level but they're surface level in a way that you are getting what you want out of it, which is talked to man. Because that's easy to tick off.

Had sex with woman is a lot harder to tick off. So it's like is that your disconnect? you can talk to man and be like, I have talked to man. I am manly, done, tick. And then you talk to a woman. You're like, didn't have sex, failure. What is wrong with them? You know, like, or can you actually engage with men, in which case, do that, but with women?

Yeah. My guess is it's going to be what most dudes consider a conversation where they just prattle off sports statistics to one another. It's, it was getting really, it was, it was swinging up after COVID when, when men realized that they had no friends. and we're finally able to, like, go to bars. Like, I noticed that, like, they were having real conversations and real things, but it swung back completely the opposite direction.

I would say that, like, 90% of the dudes who sit at the bar, they're literally just talking in sports headlines, essentially. Like, they're just saying, like, sports facts to each other. The actual conversations that men have are, I would say maybe, like, one in 10 groups of dudes will actually, like, say something worth saying everyone else is just kind of like talking about work or you know what about sports that's fine i think that's most conversations though it's like i feel like i'm so boring these days that like i don't have much extra to say like we can't all have like a deep life thing going on you or if we do

life thing i'm saying like they're like they're just parroting other people's words to each other they're literally just saying like oh yeah he got traded you he got what but it's like you know when we hang out, I don't think we're having huge life chats or whatever, but we still talk. Just prattle off stats from the bestiary of Pathfinder. I just say AC14 and stare at you off. Yeah. You know, we still like talk about things we're interested. We'll talk about a new TTRPG.

We'll talk about a movie or a show. You know what I mean? I feel like I just don't do enough. Yeah. And that's fine. Like, I don't expect men and people or me to have every time I sit down with someone and chat to have like a, a breakthrough conversation. I'm not looking for that.

In fact, I think that would probably be pretty exhausting. No, that would be terrible. I do want to be engaged with you. I want to hear what you have to say. I want to, I want to share in an excitement.

I want to share in a passion of some sort or learn something. You know, like those are the things. So it's like when you're telling me about a new show or a movie or a new game or whatever, like a podcast that you're listening to, that's fun for me.

I like that. That's nice. And it's like, I don't think it's going to change either of our lives. but never know look at us we're podcasters now that's how it all happened yeah you did tell me about magic tavern here we are here we are here we are uh yeah dude you gotta you gotta do some inner work you gotta do some inner fucking work look at yourself go to therapy honestly probably and like try to interact with women in a way that is like it and i hate this because i don't really want to tell

you to because i feel like it's like telling someone to get in the car and drive when they don't have a license i think you're going to go up to a woman and just like just bumble your way through and it's like maybe you need to get a licensing course and you can find that on our pay no you can't but you should join our patreon anyway go go talk to someone with the the way you would talk to a man i think your first option is better i think i think take this question verbatim to a therapist and read it to them and watch them melt watch their head what's what steam come out of their fucking ears uh and i i think you'd be pretty quickly challenged on a lot of this stuff and the way that we've brought up.

I think you just got to look at like what you're trying to get out of the conversations and what you think the key differences are and why you would ever think it possible that half the world thereabout could just by definition be uninteresting. That does not make sense. Yeah. Let's do this one real quick. This is low Caterpillar. How to dampen the sound when he pushes against me from behind.

Hi there. Keep you as short as possible. Me, a 23 year old female. My boyfriend at 24 year old male have issues during doctor. because my ass is on the bigger side, and we make a lot of noise when he pushes against me. Maybe it's normal. It happens to everyone. I don't know. Just too loud for our taste. There's less noise during missionary, obviously, but we both enjoy doggy so much. We just want some kind of way to dampen the sound of the clapping as the walls are thin and he hates

the thought of us being heard. I've tried wearing loose panties that he can push his side, but that doesn't help much as he's actively, and he's actively avoiding doggy, even though I keep asking for it. So maybe the goal is to sound Soundproof the room rather than soundproof the ass. No. That is a... That is just like a thing that people can do. Like that this is established science.

As far as I know, ass silencing is not so much. So I would look into that. One, two, who's going to hear? And why do we care? You know what I mean? Like there's an element of you got to be kind of cool living in the city and being cooped up and blah, blah, blah, blah. But it's like, people are going to hear. you have sex at some point, or you're going to hear them, or people are going to hear things.

So it's like, you're probably okay. I don't know. Unless it's like your mom's in the next room. Yeah. If it's family, then I understand. Yeah. If it's roommates, I understand a little bit more. If it's your neighbor.

Wait, you understand a little bit more than mom? Sorry, no, I understand like it's a step down from mom. Yeah, yeah, okay, okay. Yeah. Like, I understand that like, you know, if you guys want to get busy on like an afternoon and, you know, Dave is in his room. Working from home on a meeting. Working from home.

Yeah, like, I get it, right? Like, you need to respect. It would be so good if it was one of those

multi calls where, like, your audio puts the camera. It switches the screen. Slap. But like, here's the thing. You're worried about the clapping

of the cheeks. Are you not moaning? Is the bed not squeaking? Yeah. Are there not other ambient noises that come along with sex? That, like, even if you,

you soften the, the slapping of cheeks, yeah. I'm sure there's other audio cues that sex is happening. So maybe and like, look, are you, are you just going absolutely fucking ham going pound town crazy? Because like, you could slow it down a little bit.

And I can't imagine you would be. And it's like maybe, unfortunately, when when people are home, doggy style is, is the slow stroke time, right? And we're going to take it real slow. We're going to take it easy. It's going to be like maybe a different position. But they want doggy. What I'm saying is we do doggy on the other.

times when someone's not home. Like that's the thing. It's like, oh, someone's not home. We go to fucking like ass claps town, right? Yeah. Then they're home. Okay, maybe we do it slower, as you suggest, or we switch up the position. Like these are surely people are leaving the home. And if they're not, then they can't be upset when they hear occasional collapse. There's also different ways to do do doggy. Like if you're standing and leaning over, you're going to get a lot more slapping because there's a surface area. But if you're kneeling or like legs up, knees up on the bed, you know, forward, arched back kind of situation. You're going to get a lot less,

there's a lot less surface area making contact there. What about trying a little prone bone where like you're still getting the angles in the front behind, but you don't quite have the same wind up. So I don't think it's going to be quite as ass slappery. And put those hands to use. Use those as a buffer. Have them holding the butt.

And so what's really what like your hips are hitting your wrists essentially as you hold butt open. or aside or up or whatever a sundor. Yeah. Like there's, there's solutions here. That's the thing.

Yeah, it's not going to clap as much if it's pulled taut. Yes. Or even just like held in place, right? Like if you have it like like one of those pool noodles.

Expand on that. Pool noodle just between you guys. I feel like you'd have to have a pretty, if it's a big butt, you'd have to have a pretty sizable penis, I think. If you wanted to put a like four inch floating in between another big butt, You're looking at it.

I mean, like, it's all I'm saying. It's all I'm saying. kind of half. Okay. Yeah. So you know, we're just custom making pool, pool and or sex dampening noises. Have you tried maybe wearing a dress? Have you tried putting music on? Yeah. That one seems pretty fucking simple. Make a playlist that only has clap percussion. Yes. Yes. Have you tried? And then fuck to the clap beat. Have you tried taking up like pizza making? And then when you're slapping that wet dough, at all hours, they just become numb to the wet slaps. What? Pizza is. Hold on.

Let's rewind. Have you ever tried taking a pottery? So when you're patting, you're slapping that wet clay, they're just going to get immune to the slaps. And then they won't know. Are you fucking? Are you making a sick bowl? Oh.

All I know is those pool cues are lying in the back garden. They're not seeing much use anymore. Pool cues? Pool flow these. I don't know, man. Words is hard. You have no idea where you are. I hit my limit.

Those bricks. One of them clipped me in the back of the skull. Yeah. Yeah. Nell's got full concussion now. Yeah. That's going to do it for us.

Thank God. Thank you very much. Now's bleeding out. So we got to get him. We got to get him to do his wrap up before. And by that wrap up the wind from his eyes. Yeah. If you'd like to pay for my medical bills,

please head over to our Patreon. We have more content there. We have a fuck ton of episodes. And more importantly, you get to support us. You get to show your love. And you get to keep the life. lights on over here so we can keep doing this. We would appreciate any and all support.

If money support is not the kind of support you want to offer right now, that's totally fine. We will take other support. Give us other support by sharing something that we've done, telling a friend, reviewing us, posting about us on Reddit. The world is your oyster. You knew John Sina. You know John Sina.

Yeah. Tell him to come on. And then we can really grill him. Be like, you good? You good person? Please be good, John Sina. He'll love that. He'll love if these two random men, just keep asking him if he's a good person.

Yeah. And tell him that we'll hurt him if he's not. Good. You can try. This is a book. Abra had grown to be a beautiful girl. Her breasts were rising with the leaven of her years. And her face had the calm and warmth of beauty. She had gone beyond prettiness. She was strong and sure and feminine.

Hell yeah. We just watched The House Maid with Sidney and Amanda Seafried. And I was, I know it's based on a book. And I was like, I really hope that I can figure out how these women are feeling. throughout the entire movie, not by facial expressions, but... Of course, why would you do that? The way in which their breasts are reacting to the...

As they recoiled in horror. Yeah. Is it a good movie? What's even about? It's not a bad movie. I'm not going to talk about the movie at the very end of our show, but... We got like another hour. I liked it.

But it was a book written by a woman, so there was a significantly less invested emotional statements of the boobs. Not to say that women have saved us from the... that plate, but I did have to rely on their faces for a lot of the emotional cues. Damn. Damn. Damn. Yeah. Yeah, I do find this one. One at a ten. Yeah. I did find this one funny just because they were like boobs is bread. Boobes is bread, boobs is bread, maybe. And Dick is boobes. Dick is bread. We've solved it. We've solved it. My name is Day Miller. And I'm Nassbein. We solved it.