F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Public Foot Oiling

Episode Date: February 16, 2026

Next time you're out at a bar, I want you to look around and try to guess how many people are actively participating in their kink and/or a sex act.  Have fun!  Topics include exclusivity test, public vibrator outing, eating the peach, and the hand not closing the deal. NOTE: Also, we apologize, but due to a scheduling conflict we had to postpone our live show!  We're really bummed and very sorry! Support the show on Patreon!

Hello friends. My name is Dave Miller. And I'm not, Spain. And we're your fuck buddies. We are dating and sex advice podcast where we take your sticky, sexy, sexy, sexy, sexy situations and turn them into sexy sticky situations. Find them. We answer them for you. Here, sex and dating, those are the topics. Yeah. I'm covered in cat medicine. So I apologize. You know, you're always covered in cat medicine. That's your life. If we clip anything from this and I'm covered in a weird white substance, it's not cum. It's not jism.

It's not just it's cat medicine. On that hot note, we got a live show coming up. I'm going to hit you. Hit you with it right here, right now. February 19th, it's a post-valentine's day hangover. Did you have so much love that you need to break? Or did you get so little love that you need to go out and find some? We got you both.

Come out. Great cocktails. Great laughs. Great people. Liberty Village. Black Sheep cocktail lounge. Probably the cheapest night in the city, because I realize, like, anytime I look at tickets for anything,

it's so fucking expensive. And you don't even get a free drink. But if you do our VIP, $15 drink and a night of fun, what the fuck? We are undercharging. And you know what? We're not going to change that because we love you guys. Yeah. My partner recently tried to get tickets to a concert that she's really excited for.

And like the artist isn't huge. She's a sort of like still up and coming artist. And I believe tickets are now up to like $300. Insane. And it's just like, why? And they're not even playing like a stadium. I'm like they're playing one of the smaller music venues in the city as well. So it's like, what are you doing?

Ticketmaster and resellers suck. Yeah, no, it's horrific. Even just like regular things. It's like, oh, come to like, I don't know, watch a sports game, $28 tickets. I'm like, why are going into bars for what should be a bare minimum event now what bad concert? Not bad concerts. Small concerts are now what concerts used to be. Small concerts are now what concerts used to be.

And concerts are now mortgages. Yeah. Taylor Swift, 1.8 million. Yeah. So comes to the show. It'll be a lot fun. You can bring questions for us to answer a person, or you can just chill, drink some cool cocktails, eat some food, and make a new best friend.

Have you heard, speaking of parties, speaking of events, have you heard of same height parties? Same height parties? No. Yeah. So they are a thing that apparently was pioneered in, I think, Berlin in like 2010. But apparently they recently did at least one in Brooklyn where the goal is you come in. and everybody is effectively given boots and you can slot extra little inches onto the boots.

And the goal is that every single person is raised to the exact same height. And then in the party, everybody is, let's say, 6'3. I feel like it would be very obvious. Who's walking around on stilts and who is it? Yeah, I think there's an element of like, you're going to know someone is taller than or less tall than, you know, whatever. But I think it removes the specifics, right?

if you know, okay, I'm taller than this person, but you don't know by how much. And even then, it's like if you're in a packed bar and apparently it was so packed that like you couldn't really look and like see half the time. Like you were just like close to each other and it was dark. So people were saying it was a very interesting event where like the height dynamic was like totally off the table. So like maybe someone who's like an intimidatingly tall woman usually had a blast because you could talk to people and like they weren't being weird about it and vice versa with like smaller men and blah, blah, blah. So apparently it was great fun. I don't know. I just find it really interesting.

Yeah, I think it's an interesting idea and I think it's a good experiment. I thought, what I thought it was going to be, which I thought would also be, is like, there are nights where it's like, if you're 5-7 to 5-8 come out, right? And then it's like, and if you're attracted to people of that height, also come out. Actually, no, because like if it would, if it was like men would be going to like the 5-6 and then it's the same dynamic. Yeah, I think that would also be a pretty useful because then it's like no like if someone's weird about height, they're not going to this, right? If you're like, oh, I don't, I'm the same height and I don't care and it's fine, whatever. I do think that like, I think this, how it worked might add more of a complex because if you are like 5-8 and during this event, you're elevated to 6-3 and you're like cleaning up and everyone loves you, then you're like, well, it is my height. And there's really nothing you can. do about height, right? It's not you can go to the gym and get fucking, you know, taller. So I also think if you're the kind of girl to be weird about height, you're not going to go to the place where you can't tell people's heights. Or even, or if you hit it off with someone who is using these sluts and is

actually like, you know, five, nine, you're not going to be cool about it. You're going to be like, you're going to be like, oh, you're short. And then immediately be like, I have the hit because he's short. And it's like, well, I feel like they wouldn't even show up because they need to know what height you are. So maybe that's the way is like you're kind of getting this good experience because the people obsessed with height aren't showing up because they're like, fuck, if I don't know, how can I love you if I don't know your inches? How can it be attracted to if I don't know the arbitrary level of your height? Yeah. But apparently it's really funny because you end up effectively going around on these really awkward stilts so people can't walk properly. So it was just like

hobbling around. I just thought it was an interesting idea. I'd go to one. Yeah, I think I would definitely go to it. Like, I think I would go to it for like fun just to like, I think, think that's a that is an experience that I think would only be entertaining. I don't think I would right. I wouldn't be doing it for other reasons, but apparently it's completely surreal to always be eye level with everybody else. Yeah. Because I guess like it's rare, right? Yeah, I'm, I'm not a tall dude. So like, yeah, I think it would be, it kind of weird to be like, oh, this is what it's like. Like every now and then I'll like, I'll stand on like the stool at my bar and be like, I'm not that tall. Like right now I'm like maybe like six to and I was like, it would be

weird if I was this tall. Like, this is weird. I'd love to know how many injuries happen when you're tottering around with like an extra foot of like, you know? Yeah. Especially when you're drinking. You're disoriented because you're above everything. You can finally see the top of the fridge. I'd imagine it also be like uncomfortable. Like I imagine it like you wake up and not only you hungover, but like your calves are on fire as well. For sure. Your legs are just fucking toast. Like everything just working overtime to keep you stable and upright. Yeah. All right, well, this week we're going to talk about how to pass the exclusivity shit test. My boyfriend wants to go in public with a remote vibrator.

Girlfriend wants to eat my peach. What do I do? Is it normal to not come during a hand job or blow job? All right. This is by Dana Might. It is seduction. Be nice, fellas, girls. The dating protocol or what is obvious just never seems obvious to me.

Anyway, recently I've been talking to multiple people. Usually after the second, third date, they ask or find out through social media, me not responding, etc. that I'm hanging out with others. I'm genuinely not trying to hide. And when I asked, I try to be transparent about it. Only if they ask, of course, I'm not out here spilling everything. Conversation typically starts from girls being jealous or kind of hurt by the idea. Hope I'm not projecting.

Of course, if I did the same, I probably would be too. Anyways, I've got twice where they usually hit me with the, I don't want to be anyone's option. Gets me feeling weird. My response is typically along the lines of, we just met, but they do want to keep seeing you, interested in you, et cetera. And it takes a couple of minutes for the girl to understand. I'm trying to be ice cold about it.

Because for the first time in my dating scene, I'm genuinely exploring my options. I don't care that they know I'm seeing multiple people, but I also want to be empathetic to their feelings. I just hate feeling the guilt they try to put on me. What are some good liners for this? I don't like the way he's talking about it, but I feel like he might have his head in the right spot. He just is using shitty vocabulary to, because like, I think it is important to be like, you know, I don't think he's wrong. You're dating. You're allowed to see other people.

And I like the fact that you're like, well, I want to be empathetic and understand that like, Like, you know, someone might be upset by this and they're allowed to be in the sense that like you're allowed to feel your feelings and not necessarily that like you should expect everyone to be exclusive with you or. Yeah. We talk about a lot in the sense of being like if you're dating until you have the exclusivity conversation, you should assume that they are seeing other people. If you're uncomfortable with that, that is something you need to sort of like bring up pretty quickly. But I also think that's something you need to get the fuck over. Yes, exactly. very quickly.

Because like no one, because I mean, you talk about it all the time where it's like if you're going on a date and someone says, hey, I only want to date you. Like I don't really want to like see other people. It's like that's an exclusivity. Like, and now we're dating. And I've had one date with you. I don't want to be exclusive with you. Yeah.

Why would I want to be tied to someone I don't know and or care about? And I mean that in not like, oh, I don't care about you. But like, I don't fucking know you. How could I care about you in a way that I would want to if I was to. to date you, right? It's baffling. And it's like, you shouldn't want to be tied to someone you don't know. It's not good for you. And also part of the process, and I think part of the reason why it's easier to get into a healthy relationship when you date multiple people and have your sort of like options presented to you is that like eventually you will start like being like, oh, actually

the time I spend with this person feels better or I want to spend more time with this. person and you start realizing that like, oh, sure, I like having sex with this person and sure I like, like, you know, booty calling them at 2 a.m. But like if the, if it comes down to it of being like, hey, do you want to come over and watch a movie this week? Or hey, do you want to hook up this week? And all of a sudden you keep picking the movie thing. They're like, oh, well, maybe actually like the quality of time is spent better with this person. And I'm using better in the sense of like not worth, but in terms of what works better for you. Yeah. Sure. So as long as you, then handle that conversation empathetically and compassionately to tell someone, be like,

hey, things are progressing with someone I'm seeing. So I think I'm going to take a step back and had a really great time with you. But I think I want to focus on pursuing this. If someone gets upset by that and look, rejection hurts. It's always going to hurt no matter how cool you are. It's always going to be like, yeah, damn, that sucks. Like, even when I was single and like someone would be like, oh, I've just started seeing someone. So I think I might not hook up with you anymore. Like, I'm always very happy for them. But it is also like, damn, sucks. We were having good sex. Yeah, 100%. Like, I was seeing someone for a while and they, and it's funny because we had been kind of like friends before we hooked up. And I knew that she

liked this one guy who worked at this one place. And then we were like hucking up very casually. And at one point she was like, oh, actually, this guy actually asked me out. And I was like, fuck yeah. I know you kind of like had a crush on them. So like I was really hype. I was also bummed. But like, if you're bummed and you deal with it maturely yourself and they'll put it on that person and be a piece of shit, that's how you do it. It's not that you're like, I am emotionless, I am cold. I have no feel. It's like, of course it sucks. And that could just be like, oh, damn, it was fun to hook up. Or it could be like, oh, man, I really like this person. Or now I feel less worthwhile that they're choosing someone over me. These are all things you deal with yourself and don't make it their

problem. Because there's nothing wrong. Like when you reject someone for somebody else, you're not just like, I hate you. You're a piece of shit. You're worthless. So like you shouldn't take it that way yourself. I think it's always really important to be like, oh, okay, well, if this was me, like if I started dating someone and, or, you know, if I was seeing three people and for whatever reason I wanted to proceed with one person and kind of like cut the other

two loose and see where it goes with this one person, you're not doing it maliciously, or at least I hope you aren't doing it. If you are, that's a whole different problem. There's a whole other question that we need to talk about. But if you're just like, hey, you know, like I had a really good time. And I think

the, I think we would all do much better in dating. If We just assumed the best of people in the sense of when someone tells you something, believe them. And I understand that that could lead to trouble in terms of like, you know, following your gut and people being manipulative and taking advantage of you. But if you have no reason, if this person has been good to you and you've had a good relationship and the sex was good and the communication was good and you enjoyed spending time with this person, there's no reason to then believe that they are doing something specifically to hurt you. And if you do feel that way, if you do think, then like maybe. you need to reevaluate your relationship prior to that moment and be like, well, was it always bad? Was it always mean? Was it always intentionally hurtful? Because then like, you're not losing

anything. You were being taken advantage of. That's the thing. If someone's being shitty to you, sometimes it can be nice because you're like, well, I hurt less now because they're an asshole. Like, I'll always say there's something about messy, awful breakups where I'm like, I do appreciate that you've made this less hard of my heart. You've made it hard in other ways, but, you know, I now have more anger than I have sadness. So thanks, I guess. So look, is it a shit test necessarily? I don't know. But I think having an honest conversation is great. So if they're like, oh, I don't want to be someone's option, maybe hit them with a, oh, do you want to be exclusive? Like, are you asking to be exclusive? Because it's a little early for me or whatever. Because I don't think they are. And if they are,

that's a conversation you may as well have honestly, right? If they genuinely want to be exclusive with you, you need to know so that you can set up expectations. But if they don't, then it's like, What are you trying to get at? Is this just like trying to make me feel bad? So like that line of like thinking is like if you're single, you're everybody's option, right? Like in sort of like a very abstract way of being like, well, yeah, like if you're single and you're attracted to someone of, then you're their op. Like that's an option for both of you to pursue. Like that's, that's how dating is.

Dating is options. And it doesn't relegate you to a subhuman position or belittle your worth. to be considered by someone else. Yeah. And I get it. If you feel like you're being lined up as... The second choice or the third choice or the backup. Yes. You start to feel like, oh, you know, it's...

There's a competition to see who's going to be the one that you hook up with tonight. For sure. That sucks. And like you should never feel like a second class dating option. Yeah, take it for granted. And the thing is like that's an actions thing. Like that's a, oh, I only ever get last minute, you know, hookups. because I know his plans fell through with somebody else. Or, oh, my feelings never matter.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's not a, oh, other people exist, you know? And you could live your life that way if you want. But, like, ask yourself, do you want to be exclusive with this person you just met? And if so, why? Because I can only imagine it comes down to, like, weird, like, purity views or insecurity, both of which are things you should get over. I think the conversation of just being like, I am seeing other people.

We just started dating. And I will proceed to see other people until we decide that we want to be exclusive. and we've only had one, two, three dates. That is way too soon for me to decide to be exclusive with someone. And if you need exclusivity this quickly, then perhaps we're not a good compatible fit. And just leave it at that. Like it's very honest. It's very, like, succinct.

It's very concise. You let them know sort of like where you're at, what you're doing. And if they're like, yes, I, if you're going to date me, I'm the only person you're going to date. And like, sorry, that doesn't work for me because I don't want to. to be exclusive right now. It seems way too early to commit to someone. And at least once that's said, you get to make a choice then. Because maybe it is worth it to you. I don't think it should be, but maybe it is. And then you can make an active decision as opposed to like, you know, gray area and gilting and like you need to be straight up, right, about expectations, yours, theirs,

and then make decisions based on that instead of just vibes. But I would say exactly what Dane says, get it out there and like don't be afraid to stick to your guns because like, you'll have way more fun that way. You'll be happier. You'll be in positive positions as opposed to like doing things you don't want for people who aren't like your speed. And it's also like you're way more likely to find a partner that's going to last long term, whether you decide to be in a committed relationship or whatever. If you are aligned on some of the more fundamental like entry level boundaries of dating, right? Like chances are you're not going to get very far if someone's like,

oh, the way you want to date is absolutely antithesis to the way I want to date. Like, it's already you guys are are compromising. Like one of you is giving up something that is important to the other to, to meet in the middle. And like, is that really how you want to start of being like, well, I want to date other people, but I guess I won't because I do want to keep dating you. Like, that sucks. And it's probably not going to stretch out long term.

No, if you get together with someone, like you should both really want to, like it should be like a celebration and a fuck yeah on both sides not a well i guess because if you start with a well i guess then at what point does your relationship become well like we've been dating for X amount of time like do you really want a sunk cost fallacy your way into moving in and then into dating like you're already dating into marriage into kids like at what point do you go well fuck i don't you like this person i just can't make decisions from myself and feel guilty and like i'll say every relationship like i've never been in the short terrible way to make it a choice exactly Like if I'm going up for dinner, I don't want to be like, well, I guess I'll have that burger.

Fuck no. I want to be like, hell yeah. Give me that fatacini. And I've been in a lot of relationships. And I've always not rushed into them. And they've all been long and like deep. So it's like I don't know anybody who spent a long time dating before getting exclusive who then broke up immediately. However, I know a lot of people dating, breaking up, dating, breaking up who like jump into relationships.

And it's like, look around. You'll see that pattern too. Yeah. I mean, like my shortest relationship was two years, and that was with someone who I guessed into. Well, my shortest was three months, but it was in high school. Sorry, you, I think there was a delay because that was weird. I'll just start again. My shortest was in high school, which was three months.

And that was genuinely because we started hooking up and like I felt pressure to ask her out, kind of by like everybody. And also I thought her, but it turned out she didn't really want to either. and we both would have been happier, just continuing to hook up. So there you go. That was my shortest relationship by far, and it was because I didn't go into things honestly. Yeah. Yeah, it's very, very simple to just make choices based on what actually is what you want as opposed to what you think you should do or what you think the other person wants.

Like, it's so much easier to just be like, is this what I want? No, or I mean, if it's not yes, then it's no, right? Like it really needs to be that clear. If it's not a buck yeah, it's it's a well, not right now or no. Because like you can't you can't go through especially when like another person's time and emotions and whatever at stake as well to be like, yeah, I guess I'll date you because like why not. And like I said, like I did that. And it was it was the roughest and shortest relationship in my life. And it ended terribly.

And I it really fucked my shit up. because of a number of reasons. And it was all because I was like, well, I don't like, I was given an ultimatum. I was like, well, I don't really want to stop seeing you. So yeah, I guess. And it's like, well, fuck. Yeah.

So be straight up. This is from Brooklyn. My boyfriend wants to go in public with a remote vibrator. What rules should we follow? So my boyfriend got me a remote vibrator for my birthday. And he wants to take me on a date with it in. And we both think it's cute and fun idea. But I've never even used a vibrating before.

And also obviously doing. stuff in public is risky. So is there anything we should do or try not to do to keep it normal? Obviously, we don't want people finding out about it. And I don't know if there's anything we'd need to do to keep safe. Okay. So I think if you want to do this, you have to be careful because you are bringing people into your sex life, your kink against their consent if you mishandle this. So I would say, do not go to, for example, a restaurant, right? Like don't sit down for a nice dinner and then have him crank it every time the server comes over or whatever. Like, if you want to enjoy this, do it in a way that's like safe and maybe not involves people so intimately. Like maybe

go for a picnic in a park, right? Where like, yeah, you're out, but you're not like forcing a person into your like, you know, your orbit, right? A server isn't coming right over. Maybe people will be passing by, but there will presumably be enough distance that you'll get the thrill, but you don't really have to worry about anyone being like, wait a minute, something's going on here, right? I think that's a good way for you to like get both things done, but don't have the picnic next to the playground. Yeah, I mean, I, I'm on the same page as you. I don't even think that like this is all that hot in terms of like, I think a picnic is a great idea. I think your suggestion is is the right one, right? I think if you want to do it in public, you do it in public in an isolated

area. Go for a walk in the woods, you know, and when no one is around, you know, hit the old button. Um, there's a couple things that I think is weird. One, you've never used a vibrated before and you're like, I'm going to go out with one inside me. You don't know how this feels. You don't know how you react. You don't know how like any of this plays with your body. Play with it at home first. For the love of God. Try it out. You also don't know how loud this fucking thing is. You don't know. There's a lot of like, uh, you know, uh, what am I looking for? There's a lot of like semantic. Yeah, there's, there's a lot of like things here that, that, that you don't know and can't control once you've started.

Because like for all you know, like if you go to a fucking pub and you're sitting on a wooden bench and it's just, like, yeah. Or it makes you need to feel like peeing or like it, you know, it irritates you in some way or it shifts around and is painful. Like I know people's diva cups can like move around and cause a lot of pain. So what's to say it doesn't get dislodged or,

you know, like there are things to consider? Also, are you going to get super wet? Are you going to stain your clothes? Are you going to leave a mark on the chair? Like, that's kind of gross if you're not prepared because then you're just making somebody else deal with your sexual discharge. And that's it, right? I think that at the end of the day for me.

And I will look at the comments of this question and people are really cavalier about that. And it was just like, it's in what way? Like people being like, don't forget to bring consent form. And like, and people like talking about like, you know, just like being very dismissive of the fact that like the, the old couple or even just anyone sitting next to you at the bar doesn't want to be part of your fucking sex act which is why I like I don't really find this all that like hot like if someone suggested this to me I would be very there's very little of me

that think that would be excited to do this in a place and like I didn't think about the picnic like your idea I think is a really really good one but like if someone was like oh let's do it out of I'm like no like that's weird I don't want, like, if I'm taking an order from someone, because like, look, if you think this is hot, if you think it's sexy to bring someone to a bar and use, you're going to do it while they're talking, right? Like, you're probably not. There's, there's no way they're like, oh, someone's here better be normal and then they leave. Oh, I guess we can get back to it. It's definitely going to be, oh, I'm going to try to like make her uncomfortable while like, you know, she's taking the order. And like, we serve so many fucking people. I can read you like a book. I know almost everything there is about you by the way. You. You know almost everything there is about you by the way. you act, I can tell what you're going to tip when you walk in the door just by like the way you walk. Like there's so much I know about you. There's so much I can read in between the fucking lines. Also, people don't understand how much we hear about what you're talking about. People think that we don't. We do. We're fucking boring. We hear everything you're saying. So I'm going to know exactly

what's going on. Or if not, I'm going to know something very weird is going on. Like at least. It's going to suck for me. Trafficked or something, right? Like if you go over and every time I go over there, you're like gripping the table and like looking around nervously and he's like looking all smug and shit like and giggling while tapping on his phone yeah yeah like i'm gonna think that like you're about to be fucking putting a shipping container or something yeah it's gonna be bad and i'm forced to be there so don't be an asshole if you want the thrill of going outside go somewhere where nobody has to be near you especially not someone is required to be near you for the ability to pay their fucking

rent just like yeah it's it's so i would be so uncomfortable if And like again, it's going to be obvious. Like, and if it's not, then like, what's the point? Yeah, exactly. So like, it's going to be like, it's so fucking weird. Like, I just finished a, you know, eight hour shift and I would like to have a pint of Guinness and maybe some like wings or an appetizer or something before I go and do whatever I'm going to do on a Friday night. I don't want you fucking coming beside me with while your boyfriend plays with a app on his phone. Like, it's fucking weird and it's gross.

Like, I don't want that. And now said, it's like, are you, what are you? What are you wearing? Like, are you going to fucking soak through onto the fight? And now you've just got juices? Like, it's... Yeah, it's not good. Also, like, are they visible as well?

Are you going to not think about this and be like, oh, well, looks like I pissed myself. And I'm going to have to say I did because the alternative is kind of worse. Yeah. It's not okay to do this in somewhere where anyone has to be a part of it as well. And more importantly, like, I just don't think people think about this shit. They're like, oh, and that's what I'm saying with the comments. Think further.

just hot. Yeah. The comments were all like people just like, oh, it's always so funny when like someone like catches on. I was like, it's not money. It's gross. Like it would be no different. It was like me sitting at the bar and like, you know, every now and that I like it or like pulling my girlfriend's hair and being like you like you like you like you like no one wants to be a part of that. It's so fucking weird. And like imagine any sort of other kink and doing it at a bar next to people. And you'll immediately realize that like it's the same thing. right? Like you wouldn't sit there with a fucking riding crop spanking someone at a bar. It's fucking weird. I do I do regularly oil my feet up in front of everyone though. I mean, yeah. I mean, who does it? But that's normal, right? That's just so I can slip around. Oh, cool. Yeah. Like, imagine if you were sitting next to someone and they're just like, I love your little piggys. I'm going to put your pigies and jello and lick up. Like, that's so fucking gross and it's no different doing it with like any other kink. Like think of any other kink. Think of any other kink.

And imagine someone sitting next to you at a bar stool doing it. It's fucking weird and gross. The thing is, I think it's actually worse with the vibrator because not only are you, again, bringing someone into your thing, but you are committing a sex act. Yes. Like, if I'm just being like, I fucking love your little piggies, it's gross and it's weird and it's annoying, but it is just words, right? As opposed to literally being like, you're jizzing. There was a day at like, it was like, I don't know if I talked about this already, but like it was like the very, beginning of my shift. So it was like 4 p.m. in the middle of summer bright full light of day out.

And there was this woman who was just leaning over this dude's lap and like sucking his fingers. Just like full on like two, three fingers in her mouth just slurping away. And he was like the worst thing is like he was on his phone with his other hand. Just like scrolling through Instagram. Like he was on the vibrating. So uninterested. Like it was like this was like a hassle for him that this was happening. And I was like, am I really going to have to at 4 p.m. on a goddamn Sunday be like, please don't suck this man's finger in public. Like, am I really going to have to do this? To grown ass adults, no less. To adults, yes. I was like, and they were sitting right in front of me. It's not like they were like sneaky off into a little corner or like in a booth or whatever. It's like, no, you're sitting at the bar where I have to stand and do my job. I don't want to see this. Yeah, not quite the same thing, but in my old place of work, one of our bartenders has. had a woman at the bar and she was like, hey, you want to see a magic trick, pulled out of her boob and just like squirted milk on the bar and then left, just left him up there.

I'm like, that's, that's a, that's a bodily fluid. Why would you do that? Like, I wouldn't skid on a bar, let alone milk myself onto it. Yeah. Yeah. Just come on, guys, we're better than this. You got to be better. I think of just good general rule is if you're thinking of introducing a kink into public, think about what it would be, or if you're thinking about doing any sort of like voyeuristic stuff or or you know that kind of stuff in public around people. Think about just apply like four other kinks, four other fetishes to the public scenario. Would it be weird to do any of those other ones? Then don't do the one you're thinking of.

100%. Please people. We can be better. This is by no pay 75.05. My girlfriend, 22, wants to eat my ass, 23 year old male. What do I do? She wants to eat my 23 year old ass. I assume they're just trying to be like, I.

I'm 23, but it's just weird. As I've been wanting to for a while, we've been dating for almost four years now and have a healthy sex life. I've been thinking of ways to spice it up even more, and the idea of eating my ass came to her mind. I've eaten her ass a couple times, and she likes it. As a man, I thought that having your ass eaten is slash was weird and am still considering it. My biggest concern is that if I like it and she doesn't, I don't want her thinking of me as a sexual freak or anything along those lines. I'm neutral about this idea, but scared to have her think I'm a weirdo or have her judge me if I do something wrong. Why do I do?

I'm confused by this question of being like, you've eaten her ass and she enjoys it, but you're worried that if she eats your ass and you enjoy it, it's weird? Yeah, which is made even weirder by the fact that she's the one that brought it up and wants to do it. And he's the one who's still on the fence.

That's fine. Like, if you aren't sure if you want to do a sex act, totally fine. Like, I get it. And even if, even things of being like,

I will do this, but I don't want it to reciprocate. also fine. As long as everyone's consenting and everyone's on board, whatever. You can mix and match your pleasure preferences however you want, as long as everyone's on board. But I think, like, is it, are you weird because it's your butt and you're a man? Because it seems like that's it, right? Like, it seems like you're saying, societally, you've been told this isn't okay, and that's a thing you've internalized. And now that's the thing you're scared of, which, like, yeah, that's how it works. That's how we all are, like, socialized. Yeah. Like, are you thinking, like,

oh, if I enjoy things that happen to my butt, then I'm gay. Like, what I imagine is your, you know, thought processes is the way you're being like, no, if you, if you pleasure my butt, that makes me gay. Or like if you men like X, and that's not a manly thing, so I'll be emasculated and she'll think, you know, like, which again, super toxic view. Yeah. And I just want to stress, like, people be like, you know, if you're pegged by a woman, that's not gay.

No, because it's a woman. in a heterosexual relationship and you're doing sex things with a woman, not gay. It just isn't, right? Like, it's just, you know how you know if something is gay is if you're a man and another man is having sex with you. That's when it starts becoming gay. Otherwise, becoming. Becoming. It's not there yet, maybe. No. We'll see. You could be by, right? It's true. The buy angle could still. but like it's so weird that like people think that like the second a act that would normally not be uh i don't want to say inflicted but uh you know inflicted uh perpetrated to a man in a hetero relationship then it becomes gay and i'm just

like it's sex with a woman you're having sex with a woman it's that it can't be gay it's one of those things that i do completely understand though not that they're coming from the right place or that there's any sense to the argument or the thought, but years of having media like slam things down your throat. For sure. It checks out fully why this person feels that way. And I totally get it. But I think it's important in this situation

to look at the things that were incredulous to me and Dane when we started the question being that she's okay with receiving, so it'd be kind of hypocritical of her to not be okay with you receiving. She brought it up and is eager to do so. So it would be weird if she then was like, you enjoy the thing I brought up and wanted to do to you. Like, I get that you're worried and I understand why. But like when you think about it in that regard, does it make much sense?

Yeah. And again, she is your partner. She has brought up something that she would like to do. You have all the full right in this relationship to be like, hey, I'm kind of interested, but I'm a little nervous. I'm a little unsure. I don't know how I feel about it. And you can talk it out with them.

And hopefully she'll be like, talk about your feelings. That's not manly either. also gay and make sure you do not drink using a straw while you're having this conversation or have an iced coffee

or use an umbrella or tie your shoe don't fucking tie your shoe you let those bad boys hang or you use Velcro yeah yeah and hopefully during this conversation

oh you can't clean your butt so that's another thing you got to think about so gay yeah terrible advice to give a good question about yeah like

hopefully over the course of this conversation of like you being like, I don't really know. She can reassure you and be like, hey, I really want to do it. It'll be really hot if you enjoy it. Right? Like that's, that's what talking is for. That is what communication is for.

And if you still at the end of this conversation, you'd be like, you know what? I think I still am not too sure about it. That is okay. You're okay to not want to do something. And you're okay to not pursue a line of sexual desire for your partner as we talk about with kinks and fetishes and whatever. but don't stop yourself from enjoying something or potentially enjoying something or trying something because of, as Nell said, sort of like the socialization in the media or whatever, telling you that you aren't allowed to enjoy this, that you aren't allowed to feel pleasure in this way.

No one gets to dictate that. You get to choose how you derive pleasure and how you enjoy pleasure and how you, you know, seek out pleasure. And it really is that simple. As long as everyone's a consenting adult in the situation, how pleasure is. achieved or enjoyed is completely up to you and your partner or partners. Yeah. And you could even not be ready now and change your mind later. You know, it doesn't have to be a be all or end all. I would just look deep inside and try to figure out, are you coming up with excuses because you're worried you want to say yes? Or do you want to say yes, but you're just worried about, you know,

what somebody else would think. And bring that up to your partner being like, I'm, you know, maybe it's not rational, but I'm worried that like if I do like it, you might think less of me or something. And I'm sure they'll be like, that's silly. And you can just be like, yeah, I know, but it's a concern and hopefully they'll reassure you. And doing all these things and getting the confidence and reassuring yourself will be hot and it'll be good and it'll go forward to developing your sex life as you move forward. So just you got this. Yeah, there's only benefits to engaging in honest and open communication about sex. It's only going to make your sex life better. Because it just means like you'll be able to bring up your desires. She'll be willing to bring up

her desires and and they might not all mesh you might not choose all of them but like eventually you might come across something that you're both really into or something that she wants to do to you that you're really into so it makes no sense not to 100%. This is from Fit Ad. So keeping it brief. I've been talking to this girl. We hit it off. Soon she came over and we got intimate and before long she gave me a hand job. It felt good but after a while I wasn't coming at all. Same thing happened when she gave me head. It felt great but I didn't come at all. I didn't even feel I felt close a few times, but in the end, it seemed like it hurt her pride while I was embarrassed about it. The rest of the night was kind of awkward. Is it normal to not climax from a

handjob or blowjob? Nerves can play a part in whether you ejaculate, whether it be you come way too quickly or you come not at all and or take a long time. So I would imagine if it felt good and you were enjoying it, that you were probably too, like, concerned, like if you're thinking about it too much and you're like, I got to come, I got to come or whatever. And like, maybe the more stressed you got about it, the further it got away. I definitely have had friends who like the first couple times they had sex could not come at all, just I guess because of nerves. So that is totally a possibility. I would also maybe look into are you on antidepressants or are you, you know, used to a death grip from porn, right? Like, was there a mismatch in strength of gripping and or like,

like pace. Like was she doing a good job? It just never kind of like amped up. Like was there something more you needed that you didn't ask for? But, you know, it can happen. Yeah. It's, I would say probably pretty common for people to to struggle with just coming, especially like around the first time because it's now said nerves. And if it didn't happen the first time and that it's, you're doubling down on those nerves. You're in your brain mentally. Yeah, of being like, oh, I should come. And the second you start trying to come, you, it just, you're not. You're It's not going to happen. Especially when you get into that like, oh, I'm really close territory.

Then you over think. Yeah. Yeah. Like it's, it's very common. It's very possible. The danger now here is that because it's happened, you need to chill the fuck out and let it not happen. Easier said than done. Some easy ways to circumvent that is give masturbation a break.

Sort of relax. Don't jerk off for a little bit so that you're a little more sensitive. you're a little more ready to go. But also like reassuring your partner about being like, hey, that felt really good. I'm sorry at income. You know, I'm stressed. I'm tired. It's hot, whatever.

Like you can do with you. Or yeah. But just be like, that was, it felt so fucking good. And just really emphasized that you were appreciative, that it felt good, that you respect them, that you, you know, liked it. It's, it's stuff like that. But like, yeah, I think maybe pausing them. masturbation and really trying to get out of your head easier,

sudden than done. But I think you're fine. I don't think you're running into anything. Yeah. You're not an uncharted type. I wouldn't. Yeah, I would maybe look into like, were you drinking or like smoking weed or something that might also have kind of like that numbing effect. Yeah. But the next time, you got to flip the script on yourself and you got to try to last really long. And then your body's going to be like, sorry, coming immediately. Yeah. Try to set a personal goal of like last time you lasted seven minutes or 10 minutes or whatever, now you're going to double that. And you cannot come.

And then you're just going to come. It'll be great. Yep. Because we know one thing about dicks. It's that they're dicks. And they will be contrary motherfuckers. So I wouldn't worry about it. Again, easier said than done.

But like try to reassure your partner and then just try to like be in the moment and not overthink about it. And like, it'll happen. Yeah. You're good. You're okay. And you're good. And that is going to do it for this week, friends.

Uh, thank you very much for hanging out. with us if you're around and in Toronto or the GTA come see us this Thursday February the 19th 730 doors 8 o'clock you get tickets on our website at buddy podcast.com just go to live show section or you can find us on any of our social media's tickets are available there as well um 15 dollars gets you a welcome drink $10 gets you admission we've got a bunch of tables uh there's all kinds of really great handcrafted cocktails full menu available so you can make it a whole dinner date. You can share a bunch of apps with friends. Whatever you want to do. It's a great time. We're going to play some games. We're going to do, uh, we're going to do some bits,

some sketches, some skits, some comedy. Do a backflip. Yeah, but like fucking cool people come to these shows. So make sure you're one of them too. Yeah. Or you're a bad sex writer. This, uh, this is horrifying. I just want you to know that. But this was written by a woman, which just makes it worse. This is second chance by Jane Green 2007. She can break open bottles of wine and put Shakira on the stereo. She and Frauk shaking their hips while Daisy attempting to imitate them. Shocks Holly at how a four-year-old could appear to be so mature, so womanly, so good Lord, she can't believe she thinks this. Sexy. Um, Jane Green? What the fuck? Jane Green, what the fuck? What the fuck are you doing? Genuinely, what, why? Why? You, did you,

like, surely you had an editor? Hey, editor. What the fuck? Yeah, I mean, I think this is, I think we should be angrier at the editor who's like, yeah, man, I get that. Who edited this? Got to go for them. Hey, agent who picked up this book? Everyone needs their hard drives checked. Yeah. My name is Dame Miller.

Is Jane Green in the Epstein Files? My name is Nalsbe. We've been your fuck buddies.