F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Scoot Over to My Cream Station

Episode Date: August 31, 2026

I know we've gotten some complaints about Melvin before, but you really can't deny our chemistry with him. Topics include utilizing the Spider-Man note tactic, Zoloft ultimatum, pick up artists almost discover friendship, covering or embracing your past.Support the show on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello friends, my name is Day Miller. And my name is Nile Spain. And we're your fuck buddies. We're sextantating advice podcast where we take your sticky, sexy situations and turn into sexy sticky situations. Hey, girl, let's put it simply. We're here to answer questions that we find either online or from our beautiful, wonderful, sexy listeners. Every Monday, in your ears. Deep in there.

And once a month on Patreon. And I'm the third guy, Melvin. Hello. Hi, Malvin. Welcome back, guys. This week, we're going to be back on the Spider-Man Advice train with Spider-Man Note. Is that it? Just Spider-Man Note?

Spider-Man Note. It's a... You'll find out more later. Break up over Zoloft. Ever befriend girls for the sake of increasing your social circle game? Do I cover or embrace? Damn. You ready? Yeah.

I don't know what's happening. I don't know why so many Spider-Man dating advice questions are coming up. But you know what? I love it. This is by Chatney, please. Spider-Man note. And, okay, let's say vague spoilers for Spider-Man. I don't really think so, but if you haven't seen any of the Spider-Man's, preferably the last two, maybe block your ears. Skip to the next question. Seeing these videos on social media that genuinely actually could be a good idea to get into dating or getting to know someone or even genuinely just to be friends. But it's basically the note from Spider-Man brand-new day that Peter Parker is supposed to give MJ to remember him. Knowing the videos,

hi my name is your first name Parker you'll know me anymore what you used to I had to erase your memories to save you in the world because I am Spider-Man just know it wasn't my choice it wasn't because I stopped caring I love you and if you remember me let's go on a date insert your number this would genuinely be such a cool way does anyone actually try to it or are planning

to try it how did it go for you Loki's such a cool idea I hope it happens to me LMAO like the idea of like it would be so cool fucking dude it would be rad look as a Spider-Man fan if if a woman came up to me and gave me a note saying that she was Spider-Man and that she erased my mind and that we should go on a date, that would work on me. I mean, not now because I'm in a monogamous relationship. No, that would be it. They'd be cheating. I would immediately. No, like, would it work on me? Yeah, because I'm a Spider-Man nerd. Now, would it work on you? Because let's actually go through this, right? Someone does this. Do they know you? If they know you, a whole different ballgame. If you're just out and about, that's real. weird because she's printed it in advance. You know what I mean?

She was doing it to someone regardless. And that's the thing. Women aren't going to be the ones hanging around with these notes. It's going to be men at the Eaton Center with a stack of these notes just going, huh. And it's like if you know the more. I'm not going to say this is a good idea, right? Like I'm coming out right out the gate.

This is not a good idea. Don't do this. I love that you love it. But it's not a way forward. Yeah. It's not. Because like if you know them well enough, you don't need to do it.

certain number here, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, if you both love Spider-Man, you both have a little crush on each other, and you want to do this little fun way to finally admit your feelings to someone, sure. If you have to say, insert your number here and like, I guess add them a bed.

I don't, I think they're saying, insert your number. So when you give them the note, they're getting your number. Never mind. It's a perfect idea. You're right. That was the only problem. That was the only problem. It's, uh, it's, look, it's cute. And I think it's cute that you think it's cute.

you just need to understand that the second there is a cute thing, there are a lineup of men looking to make it terrible. It immediately becomes shit. It immediately becomes like a tool for people who have no imagination. And then what's the point at that point? Right. Like it's also like, let's be fair. In this scenario, you're not really talking to them.

You're just walking up and handing them a note and leaving, which is like creepy and weird and alarming. And it's like by the time they open it and go, oh, ha ha ha. I don't think they're really going to be like, hell yeah. They're not going to think back to the meek person that slipped them a piece of paper and walks away. If you linger there while they're reading, like, it's all just creepy and weird. That's it. Right.

Logistically, it does not work. I think if, like, I would wager nine times out of ten, if a dude walks up to a woman and hands them a note, that woman is not clocking whether you're cute or whether they're datable or whether they're interested in you or how good your butt looks or what your hair look like. they're in full panic survival mode and fighter flight is peeked through the roof they're not gonna be like oh that guy was actually really cute and this is a really cute note it's like the only way this would work is if you are in like high school yes where you again you kind of know the person

at the very least you see them in the hall like even if you've never talked to each other it's weird but like at least then it's like oh I know that person I've seen them around I know what they look like or I can in fact creep them just to like be like maybe I do think they're cute. But if you do this at a mall or at a bar, like, yeah, you would have to like just stand there and be like, here I am. Read it.

What you think? Read it. Some people read slow, especially when they're panicking. So it's just- Yeah, I'm not taking my eyes off you. I'm holding this note up to you so I keep you in my peripheral while I read it. And the thing is, is like women have to deal with a lot more shit than I do on the daily basis. I don't trust you when you come over to me.

I'm keeping you in my vision. I'm expecting pickpockets. I'm not reading this note. maybe I'll read it later. Even them. Well, if there's like, I don't know, anthrax,

they like to kill podcasters. That's a throwback to our 30 going on 13 live show. We're getting thraxed. Deep cut. Yeah, honestly, even if someone just tries to hand me something,

no thank you. Yeah. Even if it's a coupon to a restaurant that I frequent, I'm not taking it from you because I want to talk to you. Leave me alone. Also, until I unfold it and read it,

I don't know what's a coupon to this restaurant I like. So guess what? Go fuck yourself. It's, yeah. I feel bad for the people in like the mall

where they try to give you stuff. Because I'm like, you don't want to be out here. I know you don't. This sucks. This is the worst part of your day. Yeah, but that's what I am going to be incredibly rude to you. Uncharacterily. No,

it's weird, but I do. Ding goes to the store just to yell at people. He doesn't even shop. He's just like, oh, yell on time. That's why I love those little,

the kiosks, little thing, because they're all, they're the worst, right? They're the main culprits of like trying to scoge you over to their little cream station and I just yell at them. That's what I say on my note.

I go over this. buy them and stuff and I say, hey, you want to scoot over to my cream station? Works every time. Yeah. This is from Creative Carnation. Boyfriend wants to break up over Zoloft. My boyfriend, 22-year-old male. I'll have that app.

Told me, 23, female, we could not take a relationship of two years further until I stopped taking Zoloft. I have diagnosed panic and anxiety disorders that incapacitated me for years prior to getting on medication. I tried just about every natural remedy I could before going on the pharmaceutical route. My boyfriend claims that they're altering my brain chemistry So he doesn't know the real me One of these non-negotiables is a woman

Has in a woman had always been no medication But he broke this one for me originally I'm terrified to stop taking them And return to the state that I was Where I've worked so hard to improve my mental health Has anyone ever dealt with this? If I could jump through this mic Which wouldn't help because I'd just be in your closet

And slap the man involved in this question Girl, I've read some of the comments and he also doesn't believe in like Tylenol or Advil. I love that. It almost sounds romantic. It's like, girl, my non-negotiable was no medicine. I broke it for you. Like, I love that. That seems like a, I don't know, like a Republicans fucking like, you know, the way they always make these weird, like diehard, like far right movies with like washed up stars.

That's going to be like the rom-com version of the notebook, but it's going to be like the med pack or something. the vaccine card yeah yeah uh this sucks shit your boyfriend sucks shit i don't get to read the real you like way to guilt me over having a fucking mental illness like oh fuck yeah also be like hey my mental illness is incapacitating so do you want me to be a constant nervous wreck and in you know extreme mental anguish all of the time because that's the quote unquote real me that's what my brain has dealt me also like let's extrapolate this person if you ever need to go to the hospital, not going to be supportive. If you need pain meds for anything serious, not going to be supportive. If you have kids, no vaccines, I am sure. No epidural? No. Exactly.

What happens if you get cancer? No chemo? Is that too much medicine? Yeah. You know what it was like before you started taking medication, right? It's not like this is something you've been on your entire life because some crack doctor told your parents it would get you at a bumble, like it's not like there's some sort of. Yeah, crack doctor named Fauci. I'm crazy. It's your second Fauci reference two episodes. It's not, you lived a tough,

incapacitating mental illness. Then you did your due diligence to find a cure. You found one that works and brings you to a place where you're happy and you, or at least to a place in which you are more comfortable than you were. And now this guy's like, I don't want that though. Yeah. For no reason other than my own weird shit.

Like, and look, the thing is, I thought this was going to be like, she's on antidepressant, so it's like affecting their sex life, which still was going to be a fuck this guy. But at least like there's an element of like, yeah, it sucks if you're, if you're, you don't have a libido because of your meds. And like, I know people deal with that and it's tough. So I was expecting this question to go to a place where like, uh, you know, I get it.

But as opposed to like, oh, fuck this dude. Like what the fuck are you talking about? You know what's really easy to replace him? You know what's not easy to replace medicine? Like your mental health. Yeah, you could just find someone who doesn't suck shit far easier than you could come off these meds, which is always difficult. Go back to being where you're at. And then I guess just live knowing that you can never redo this because he doesn't let you be on meds.

Like bullshit claim of like they're altering your brain chemistry. Yeah, dude. That's literally the point. That's why I'm taking them. It's yeah, it's so frustrated. It's like, yeah, you know why I'm doing that? Because my brain chemistry is trying to kill me. So that's the and also if you really want to go down that route so is like laughing or having sex like serotonin that alters your fucking like sugar caffeine like fuck off yeah there is no realm in which especially like a two year relationship that's crazy you were with him that long that's the thing like do you think he has gotten more serious do you think he's just really like he was like I can hold this for two years but then the real me has to come out because that's.

the thing. He has been showing you the real him. What a hypocrite. I guarantee you, I would put money on the fact that when he met her, she was very malleable, right? She was in a vulnerable state, most likely, right? If she just started taking these medications, whatever. And I think she's probably becoming more self-assured, more confident, more whatever. And he is realizing, oh, I can't manipulate you. And the easiest way for me to do it is if you were in a constant state of anxiety and panic. That would be ideal for me because I would be able to control you no problem. He said like a piece of shit.

Yeah, maybe. How long was she on the meds? I can't remember from the does it say? I don't think it says specifically how long. Because yeah, I would be really interested to know if he knew her back then or not and like if she was early on into it or whatever. I'm going to see that he doesn't, right? I'm assuming

he met her after she started taking medication. Either way, look, like I know it's hard to get out of relationships. I know it's tough. for variety of reasons, whether you love them or not. Like, even if you're out of love with someone, you still have, like, apartments and lifestyles and blah, blah, blah, financial shit to deal with.

It's never worth it, especially not in a situation like this, where it's like, how do you come back from this? Your partner is either too evil or too dumb to understand what you're doing with your life. And, like, I think either of those is a deal breaker. Yeah, there's a level of, I understand wanting to know your partner. I understand wanting to ask questions and know everything about them and, you know, be involved and ingrained in their life.

I get that. But there's a level in which you need to trust your partner of what is and isn't part of who they are, right? It's the same way, like, in my opinion, with people who are estranged from their families, right? I know a lot of people would probably have a lot of questions about families and like, where did you grow up, parents, siblings, blah, blah, blah, what was your home life? How did you grow up? What was your childhood?

Like, some people don't want to talk about that because it's really bad. And you don't get to interpose. your like, but I want to know everything about you. It's like, well, here's the thing you need to know. I don't want to talk about that. Yeah. And that's all that matters. The part that clicks for you, right?

That should be the information you're learning. Because I don't think knowing all the sort of details is as important as knowing that what you need to know to protect your partner, which is, you know, if they have to do something family related, they're going to need your support. And it doesn't really matter why. It doesn't matter if it was an abusive thing. or what, right? Like, it has no,

but what you need to know is, oh, they're in this position and I need to protect them. I need to support them. To be a good fucking partner. It's the same thing with this fucking medicine, right? Yeah. If my partner or anyone,

anyone I cared about was like, hey, if I stopped taking this, I will be an excruciating pain. I will be an incredible mental language. My mental health will suffer. I won't feel safe. I will feel bad.

That's, to hear that and not say, then I will make sure, I will pick up your prescription. every fucking week if I have to in order to make sure that you feel this way. It's crazy to me to hear that and be like, yeah, but I don't like it. Yeah, even if it was like, I'm going to have like just a slightly worse day. I wouldn't want that at all, let alone, again, the extremes and the reality of what you're talking about.

It's so fucked. And you don't get to choose what the real person is. The real person is them and what they are and what they choose to do. And that's like me being like, oh, you used to be like really emo when you were like 14. why are you emo now? Why are you into folk music? I want to know the real you. It's like, I grew the fuck up.

Like, fuck off. Not that you have to grow up to get out of emo. Nothing wrong with it. There is, that's a very good point. There is a, like, layer of also, can she never change? Exactly. Right? Even if you take away the mental illness, take away the medication.

If we meet, I'm into this. I'm into that. I've got these hobbies. I've got these views. But then, you know, for whatever reason, I change. I grow. I expand. I'm not into this anymore. I'm into this now. Is that not the real me? No, it's not. What,

what part, at what point do I shift into a fake version of myself? But also it's like, if I break my leg and I'm doing physio, is that okay? Like, am I allowed to get my leg back in working order or is like, no, no, the real you limps. Like, fuck. The real you is broken leg you now. Yeah. Right. Like, it's fuck off. So doig. So like, I don't see this relationship going further, right? Because I don't think you're going to be able to explain to this person how reality works. But I know for a fact, it's going to be a lot of easy for you to find a better partner that is for you to deal with your mental shit without medicine. Like medicine is like, I hate that I have to say this, but I know a lot of people are like that. It's not like an easy out

or a different you or a different root or a cheat code or bullshit. It's, it's helping you. It's making you you, like it's letting you be the you that you would be if these things weren't interfering. And it's really fucked for them to suggest otherwise. I also know that taking these kind of meds sometimes also alters personalities. And I understand that that can be a challenge that you go through together as a partner or as a person. So like I'm not discounting that. And we're certainly not discounting that of being like, you know, once you start taking medicine or changing medicine or I know even like things as simple as birth control.

For sure. Really alter, you know, mood swings and emotions and stuff like that and behavior. So that happens. Also menopause. you know what's crazy? I was listening to a podcast on menopause and it's pretty fucked up and like the amount of people

who get divorced once they start to go through menopause is like crazy because you deal with a lot of stuff that like men don't know not even women know about and on top of that you like change personalities

and there's like all this pain and like lack of sleep and like body changes and all this shit and like I was listening to it with my partner and she was like I didn't know half of this stuff I definitely didn't know half of that stuff

and in the whole episode they were just talking how like no one is educated on this shit and it just becomes like so hellish it was very very interesting and you know one day we should do an episode on it okay because it's pretty cool and by cool I mean terrifying and fucked up but it's yeah it does suck and it's you know not to discount the pain of that but even then I don't think like if you're in a relationship with somebody and they start taking medicine that helps them get better and something in their personality or their libido or whatever changes I think it's really fucked up to be like I want you to suffer so I can have the

partner I get on better with. Yeah. It sucks if it ends the relationship, but one, you should let things even out and try to work through things openly and honestly. And two, maybe that's just the price that they have to pay to be fucking mentally well and happy. And like, would you not want that for your partner? Yeah. Yeah. A lot of people I feel like think that there is the solution and everything else isn't, right? When in reality, sometimes the solution is is just as bad as or has as many sort of negative elements as not addressing it. Like, staying together with someone when you're both unhappy is more or less just as bad

as, like, breaking up and, like, feeling that pain. I would say it's worse. Yeah, it's worse. Maybe it's not as acute. Maybe it's not as immediate, but, like, you know, if you lose 4 HP a day versus 10 HP in one day, eventually, after three days, that's 12 HP, baby. That's exactly right. That's exactly right.

This is by Should I Work Remote. Do you ever befriend girls for the sake of increasing your social circle game? Recently, I met a girl who I'm not into, but she's clearly into me, hered from a mutual friend. Despite not pursuing her, she keeps inviting me to these parties. Through these parties, I met even more girls who I'm interested in. And because the one girl who invites me super into me increases my perceived status, which constantly tries to talk to me at these events. Got me thinking, what if there's utility and not totally revealing romantic intentions to every girl you meet?

Having the door open to have her invite you out and meet her friends, give you an opportunity to employ social circle game, which could allow you to get girls who were previously out of your league. I know this goes against general seduction advice, which is usually to make intentions clear and only text to arrange a date. But thoughts? Is that the seduction, like, motto to keep your intentions clear? I don't think so. Is that it? Is that what we've been missing this whole time? Hey, they're so close to discovering friendship.

Yeah, they're they're almost there. They've cracked to the surface of being friends. I think the second, if at any point in time when you're thinking about other people or relationship dynamics or friendship or whatever and use the word utility, I think you should immediately stop what you're doing and run head first to a wall. Yeah, yeah. That's the thing. I am like I almost want to take this time to be like, yeah. people on seduction. You should be friends with women. But this isn't what you're asking. You're asking, hey, do you ever use women? And in this case in particular, do you ever lead someone on, then go to

parties with her and then ignore her? Yeah, do you ever find someone that thinks you're attractive and manipulate them into being invited to parties? And then ignore her and then like laugh at how like you ignoring her makes you look better to these women, which I bet it doesn't, by the way. Yeah. Also, like, I would understand that if you were going to these parties and talking to women who like she didn't know, sure, that might work. But this woman has probably told her friends that she's into you. They're, I mean, unless they're shit friends, they're not going to be lining up to hook up with you, dude. Because like, I do. He's noting like, oh, I'm meeting all these women that I'm into. But he doesn't say, I went on a day with them. I slept with them. Right. He's just saying,

he's like, oh, my my circle is expanding. And it's like, well, dude, What do you think is going to happen with these girls who are friends with the original woman when you say, oh, I'm actually not interested in you. I'm just, I'm just using you to hulk up with your friends. Yeah. Do you think that's going to go over well for you? And eventually people are going to figure it out if they haven't already. If somehow you hook up with one of the girls, the first girl is going to be upset probably, not invite you to the party anymore. I'm not sure that the next one will.

But if she does, are you going to be like, oh, I like her though. Or are you going to be like, who's my next pick? In which case, very clearly, everyone's going to be like, the fuck's wrong with this guy? Also, are these women being nice to you because they're trying to big up their friend? Yeah. Hey, my guy, when you're like, oh, my social status is higher because she's interested in me. Yeah, because her friends are wingmaning her. Yes.

They're like, oh, that's the guy Claire likes. Hey, how's it going? Yeah, we got to be nice to him. And you're like, oh, they're into me for sure. Also, fuck Claire. This idiot. He's falling around the party she invited me to try to talk. to me. What are you doing? My buddy. It's an embarrassing. It's funny because what's happening to him,

I think, is what he dreams he could do himself in the sense that have friends. He wishes he had friends who if he invited a woman over, like he was into this, this woman at work and he invited her to a party that all of his friends wouldn't be trying to fuck her as well, despite how he felt. And instead, we're supporting him. Right? Because I promise you, if this dude was in this situation, he would be like, I'm, I have a party on Friday night. And I'm thinking of inviting this hot co-worker that I work with. How do I make sure my friends don't try to fuck her?

But like, can you imagine if that did happen? They invited someone they liked over. And then that person was like, lull, just using you to get to the party. I'll go fuck your hot friends. That's literally the in-cell seduction nightmare. That's what I mean. Yeah. It's like, this guy is living a like,

What he would have perceived as his nightmare. Yeah. And he's like, this is the dream. And I'm like, yeah, you are a dumbass. You're stupid piece of shit. You're an asshole. Yeah, like this poor fucking woman. And like, look, buddy, judging by how enamored and fascinated and wowed by what is usually

a pretty simple human interaction of someone like me, invited me to a place, but you're like, oh, it's opened up doors and there's women. And is this a new social technique? I'm imagining most women don't like you and you're taking this chance of squandering it and then one day you're going to be like what is what do women hate me? It's like yeah because what you're admitting here

my guy is no woman has ever invited you anywhere ever. Yeah. Right? You've never had a friend who was a woman who said, hey, I'm going to this party. Do you want to come with me? Even polonically. Yeah.

Right. Now that you have you're like, I am dead set on making this the most toxic thing imaginable. Yeah. You should be genuine in your intentions. You shouldn't use people, lead them on. Yeah, the seduction way.

Yeah, it's so fucked. But, like, I think the best way to think about this is like, this is your hell, right? You're enacting your hell on somebody else and you're like, this is great. If this happened to you, it would fucking break you. So why would you do it to somebody else? Yeah, you would be like, women are trash. They're just using me. Blah, blub, blah, blah.

Like, fuck off, dude. Yeah, you suck. Yeah. We are going to take a quick second to expand. our social circles. Maybe we'll get invited to a party. I fucking hope, man. It still hasn't happened for me.

Whoever invites us, I'm going to run away from them every time they come here me. And I'm going to try to sleep with everyone you know. We'll be right back. It didn't go well. You got kicked out of the party. Yeah, we almost immediately, we walked in, Nile ran full force into a screen door trying to get away from the person who invited us.

And I did hit on their mom. Who made them see through? We just watched the office episode where, He invites them over for like a party. And they keep talking about the broken glass door. And it turns out that it was just Michael Scott ran into it because he heard the ice cream truck. It is definitely one of those like one of the best like sitcom episodes of just just so uncomfortable and so funny. Hell yeah.

Right. You got one for me? Yeah, I guess that's what we're doing here, isn't it? This comes from realistic ad. Do I cover or embrace? I am going on a first date soon and they'll be outside. so there's a good chance it'll be warm. I have self-harm scars on my arm.

Jeez, that's a tough thing to say. I did it. Self-harm scars on my arm. It sounds like a scars guard, brother. Scars guard self-harm scars on my arm. And I'm trying to decide whether I should cover them or just wear what I normally would and let them be visible.

Part of me doesn't want to scare him off to make or make the first date awkward, especially since obviously he doesn't know me yet. But another part of me doesn't want, want to wear long sleeves and be sweating the entire time just because I'm worried what he might think. For anyone who's dealt with this, what would you do? Do you cover scars on a first date, or do you embrace them and just let the person react however they're going to react? I'm especially or I'd especially love to hear from people who are on the other side of this too. So the cool thing

is you don't get to choose how anybody else reacts to you, but you do get to choose how you feel. And by that I mean, like you know whether having your scars out or your long sleeves on. You know which one's going to be worse, right? So all you could do is put yourself in the best position. If you think you'd be happier wearing the long sleeves but sweating, I think you should do that because you will be comfortable and then the added benefit of you picking the right roof for you will also make you be more fun to hang out with during the date, right? So it's a net positive of what you can change versus the things you can't change, which is their opinion, right? I agree with you to an extent, but here is where I'm coming from it. And I know that I am a little more lenient and a little more chill

than most men out there. But I would be more uncomfortable with a woman who is very obviously hot and sweaty than I would be about self-harm scars. Yeah, that's another thing is like, yeah, if I was there, I'd be like, take off your top, what are you doing? Like, because I also...

Nile always says that on a first day. He's always like, take off your shirt. Take off your fucking top. It's hot. It's 20 degrees. Get them out. No, like, I would notice you being uncomfortable and then it would be really awkward.

If you're like, no, then just like profusely sweating. That's what I mean. Like, that would make me uncomfortable. Like, seeing someone, it's the same way as like, my girlfriend hates it. But whenever she's like, what shoes should I wear? I'm always like, the comfortable one. Yeah. Because I know as someone who had a full on breakdown with my shoes toward the back of my heels up, I don't, if we're out, I don't want you to be uncomfortable. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. I don't want your feet to hurt. I want to be able to walk a couple places as opposed to being like, no, you wore heels and you're, you hate life now. Like you're Yeah, half the night is complaining.

Yeah, I don't want that. Which I get, by all means, complain when your feet are sore. But if we know they're going to be sore ahead of time, let's just make them not sore. Because I'm all for complaining. And I think if you have a sore back, if you have a sore whatever, you should complain. Because it helps to get off your chest. I don't want to suffer in silence. I want to know.

But if we can avoid the thing that's going to hurt us, we're going to do that. Yeah. So I think, look, be as comfortable as you want, right? I don't think you should forego the long top if that would make you more comfortable, right? I think you have to make yourself as comfortable as you can. And then that's kind of for the best, right? Because then you're going from a place of strength. I would love to know what you wear on a day-to-day basis.

Because she does just say what she would normally wear or what she would want to wear. So it seems to say, like, you don't cover these scars up in your day-to-day when you're going out with friends, when you're at work or whatever, right? Like, these seem to not be something that you are ashamed of or that it seems more like you are. thinking specifically about him and his comfort and his reaction to it and like you're thinking like oh what can I do to make him comfortable what can I do to make this less awkward whatever right and I think when it comes down to it if you like this guy you're not going to wear sleeves forever eventually it's you'll have one way or another is it presumably two is it day three is it day four and I think it's one of those things where if he's not cool with it now he's probably not going to

be cool with it ever yeah I can't imagine it's not to say it might might not take a second to, you know, depending on how bad they are, it might be a little tough to, to look at it. Because like, I know I have a very close friend who has them. And they, to this date still kind of upset me, but not because more empathetically, right? Like, I hate that they were once at a point in time where they felt that they had to do this. 100%. And, and that's the thing. Like, they, it is a little upsetting to see. Again, not necessarily in a bad way, but because, you know, you don't want to think of the people you like or love or really anybody in that pain or in that position or suffering.

And I do think like it's a usual human reaction to kind of almost like bulk or blink or like double take when signs of like trauma or, you know, like I know a friend who lost a toe in a bicycle accident. And first time I saw that, I was like, well, because you just expect a toe to be there. Was it negative? No. It was just a. So I think give them a little grace.

initially there's a hot second, but like how many dates do you think you're going to be able to front load your personality to the point where they will forgive a thing they might be against because you're so cool? Because that also seems weird because it's like, when do you make that call, right? How many dates do you go on? And if it doesn't work out, are you going to be upset because you've wasted all this time? Or do you want to just rip the bandaid off as it were? And date one, he sees what's going on, what's not going to change and can act accordingly. right yeah and i think like we are in a world where i think a lot of people especially our age probably like knew someone who who self-harmed or did it themselves in some regard that i think if if we are

like we just got to get over it like we just we have to accept it we have to and if you are worried that they are going to make them comfortable maybe have something prepared in your mind to sort of just like a little joke, a quip or something to ease the tension, whatever you're comfortable with. I know a friend of mine in high school had no arm or like from the elbow down was a like a prosthetic. And it was, you know, it wasn't a state of the art anything. It was it was just a plastic, you know, hand or arm. And a lot of people were kind of like worded out by it. And he always had a joke to go with it. And just like the tension that it cuts, it just puts people at ease of being like, okay, I don't have to be weird about it because you're

not weird about it. You've made your peace with it. It's cool. Like, whatever. Like, watching him do that, I was like, this is a cheat code for anyone who ever has to like be in a position like this of being like, I'm going to take the onus to just like push it out of the room so that people will treat me normally. And I watched him do it. for like all throughout high school. And just, I was like, cool. That kicks ass, man. Like I, he was never bullied for it.

He was like, no one ever made jokes about it. No one was ever really weird about it. Like after that sort of initial meeting, it was, it was fun. And I think that might be something that like could benefit you here as well. And I will say, not everybody is able to come up with something funny or wants to make light of stuff. But even if you don't want to do that route, I do think it, what Dana's saying is very invaluable of like at the very least have something ready if they do ask about it because if you're not ready it could do almost like more harm than good or if you like fumble or if you say it weird or

you know if i think just like be prepared what you're ready to say and how far you want to go do you want to be flippant do you want to get into it do you want to just be like oh yeah you know I mean I think just just have that ready because they may not ask they also may and if you're uncomfortable with them not asking you can always bring it up and be like you know like balls in your court so that's That's what I was going to say is like it does again seem like she's putting his comfort to the forefront, right? So if you find him, if you, if you choose to go bare armed and have them, you know, out, and you see that he's, you know, the glances. It's like when you have a pimple and someone keeps looking at it, generally we have a pretty good idea if someone has clocked something on us physically.

So if he clocks it, like if he sees it and doesn't react and just keeps going on as normal, then like maybe you don't need to say anything. But if he does seem a little, if the eye keeps wandering, then maybe it's worth like just clearing the air, getting it out there, putting it on the table, and just being like, it's cool, it's fine. And look, do you have to tell the truth about it if you're uncomfortable talking about it? No, right? Accident when there's a kid.

Boom. Like, I don't think you have to tell anybody anything you don't want to. I'm guessing. My guess is that it's multiple. Multiple accidents when there's, you never know. Right? Uh, ready? As by Builder Realistic, 57, 64.

I, female 31. I'm suspicious of my boyfriend's male 30 payment at a massage parlor. We've been together a bit over two years. Sex life was great in the beginning, but for the past year, especially the last six months, intimacy has basically disappeared. Having had sex a month, and he rarely even gets hard around me when we cuddle. I assumed he had a low sex drive. Recently, I looked at his bank statements and found a payment to an Asian-time massage parlor

near his work slash home and closes at 8 p.m. On the same day, he withdrew about $100 in cash. Suspicious part is he told me on WhatsApp that day he was working late. At A-15, he said he'd finished work. He never mentioned going for massage despite paying for a 90-minute massage. He's also never mentioned getting massages before or anything. Given their lack of intimacy, my mind immediately went to the possibility of a sexual massage slash happy ending or even cheating. I know I don't have proof, but why lie about where he was?

Hmm. This is one of those questions where, like, yeah, I mean, the evidence stacks up in an unfavorable way for this guy. But... I got more. Oh, okay. I confirmed a little about this. He said he went during his lunch to the place to book. the massage and paid, but then afterwards his colleagues told him what kind of massage parlor was

offering adult massages, and he would never go to a place like that. So he never ended up going. Keep saying, how can you think this of me? And that I can't believe I can think this, etc. But no place I know of charges you before the appointment, I want to leave him, but I don't want to make a mistake. We just took a lease out together. This is the worst timing ever. Okay. At which point, why wouldn't you be like, I mean, is the cash supposed to be what he paid for? Like, if the cash was what he paid for it wouldn't have been on record wouldn't be out of the bank statement

yeah so it's like well why is there no refo did you not get your money back like yeah this is real I went to the strip club to find directions away from the strip club yeah and look again this could be a comedy of errors like it could just be a fucking dumb ass dude

being dumb asses but again the evidence stacks up right and I don't blame you for feeling and drawing the conclusions that you have drawn here. I don't think you're necessarily wrong. But what it comes down to at the end of the day is with all of these situations where it's like, Nile and I can guess, right? But we don't know. Our guess is as good as yours and you know the dude. Whereas we don't. So I have no sort of like background on how to guess what this man is up to. And more importantly, you had already checked his

bank statements. So you didn't trust him prior to this. Yeah. Right. One does not just accidentally check the bank statements of a person they don't even live with, right? Because they say near to his home. So you don't even live together, but you're going through his bank statements. Like, that's thriller level snooping. That's like, oh, my partner disappeared. I need to go through his stuff with a fine tooth comb to find out who he was interacting with.

Like, oh, there's a receipt to this neon lit bar. I need to go there and meet Jeff at 7 p.m. There's a matchbook with a phone number in it. Exactly. And a date, but that dates tonight. I got to go. You didn't trust this guy. And now it's a city.

So I don't know. And the thing is, have you talked about your sex problems? Your intimacy issues? It doesn't sound like you have. It sounds like you just went, well, better check if he's getting rub and tugged. And he probably is. Yeah. I don't know what to offer you other than if you can't trust this guy.

Don't trust him. Leave him. I understand that this least thing is going to really throw a wrench in the works. But sorry. But it's better than being like, well, I guess I'll just stay with this dude for at least a year. whatever this lease you just signed was because yeah like it's it's bad it sucks I'm sorry but sometimes as now said like the the bad stuff comes with more bad stuff but you still have to kind to do it uh it's I don't know what to tell you other than if you don't trust him you don't trust

them and that's not going to change you're just going to keep becoming more untrusting you're going to keep now next we'll be checking his phone next will be looking through his emails next will be, you know, like, it's, it's a slippery slope into just anxiety. And is that the way you want to live? Is that the kind of partner you want to be? Is it the kind of partner you want to be with? This is by the D therapy. Oh. Escalating during movie? I'm struggling to understand escalating to sex when having a girl over to watch a movie. I understand how being close and cuddling sets the mood. I've never understood how to transition from the silence watching the movie into making out. I mean, unless you're like 14, I don't understand what you're doing.

Because there is, when you're an adult, you don't have like a finite time limit, right? Like you have your own apartment, whatever. As a kid, like when I would go over to a lady's house, we had movie time to do all of our groping and our fondling. And then when movie was over, I'm, I probably have to go home. And also the danger of parent coming in, right? So it's like you, you were on a clock and you were also on perception checks every 10 minutes and you were on like, got to keep my clothes mostly on and got to keep my hands. at least in plausible deniability town. It was a lot.

Whereas now it's like, oh, I have apartment. She over. If we like the movie and we finish it, we just fuck after. Yeah. If we don't like the movie, guess what? And that's the thing.

Are you fucking up. Are you putting on a movie? And you're like, hold, hold on, hold on. What's Venom doing? I need to know the deep, rich lore of Craven the Hunter.

Yes. I mean, if you're putting on a movie they both want to watch, then like, Chances already. It's kind of a dick move to then be like, let's not watch this movie that you've been looking forward to watching. Yeah.

But I think what's fun and what you should be doing is putting on a movie, presumably, hopefully that you've seen or they've seen or you've both seen and you just really like it. But show a movie that you're really both into. And that's cool because then you can kind of like talk. You can chat. You can build, you know, like legs over your lap, cuddling, whatever. And then when the movie's done, you can just make out then. Or specifically, if the movie's. sucks. You can be like,

I'm really sorry, this movie sucks. You want to make out instead? So good. So good. There you go. Or just the second you make out, like get cuddly, get close, make out, have a little chat, and then just ignore the movie, which is like a time tested tradition of the movie. No one keeps the shit about the movie.

No one's here for the movie, right? Especially it's early days, right? If this is you guys have been dating for a fucking year, two years, four years, there's a high chance the movie needs to be watched, right? If it's date one, there's a very low chance the movie needs to be watched. In fact, there's a very high chance if you're watching the movie.

They're like, the fuck am I doing here. I feel bad for the youngans that will never experience the joy of fucking to a DVD menu, which the same 10 seconds of sweet emotion by Aerosmith plays of loop. That I feel like is a very unique, like, millennial experience. That I don't think any other. generation because like now it's like we like I guess maybe like Netflix has an auto play maybe like but yeah I feel like your TV will probably just time out before that yeah Netflix certainly does Netflix will be like it's sleepy time now but it's like that DVD menu it will not quit it

and that's it you can gain inspiration for that like I won't quit either if it has the stamina I have the stamina to also play sweet emotion I remember very specifically in college fucking to I believe it was the over the hedge DVD like music. And that was incredibly special for me. Oh yeah. Hell yeah. Yeah.

Just like don't get to invest in the movie. Don't put on a movie either of you actually wants to watch unless the goal is watch the movie and then fuck after or if you're willing to just fuck instead of watching the movie. I feel like it is a dick move to ruin their movie watching experience. If you're not, if you think that they really want to watch it and you're just like pawing at them, that's not great. But like just don't do that.

If it's a movie you want to watch, you are able to be like, fuck it. Let's get laid. Yeah. It's you're not on this like weird. Oh, we don't. We only have movie time to do our hand stuff. Like you want her in a T-Dade. Movie ends.

Oh, got to sit back up. Yeah. The lights are back on. Peripheral advice. Put on a movie that's conducive to sexy times. Don't put on the most depressing, miserable fucking movie you've ever seen your life. Don't put on hostile. You don't want to like look up and see someone's eyeball getting torched or so.

Sorry, Dane. See some little knee getting squirt. I don't know. Like, unless it's true crime, because a true crime make lady horny. But I will say, there's nothing worse than having sex. And then the TV just says something like, and then the children were found dismembered in a moldy garbage bag. Like, I know.

So you got to be careful. Yeah. Best movie ever to watch is Stardust, although it's so good that you might just end up watching. I mean, we, we know our, we've talked about our movie choices. But we have hundreds of episodes, so they may not know. It's true. Yeah, I, like, this, this seems like such a. teenage problem because like also you could like everyone knows what going over to watch a move

yeah about right like everyone knows that that it's it is what it is so make a move when they first come in i invite her over to watch netflix but she just wants to chill yeah it's it's such a non problem you just got to make a move right like unfortunately you're in that like the couch i think is one of the worst like make a move places because like you're never it's always going to be weird right Like, no matter what way you are, you're always going to have to move in sort of a unnatural motion to get to. You know what? Lust finds a way. Yeah.

I mean, this is when your words do a lot of the lifting for you, right? There's a lot of things you could say, even just like something is like, do you look really good right now? I want to kiss. Like, just anything to just like get that barrier out of the way, that weird sort of like, I'm facing this way. You look so good. It's hard for me to focus on the movie. Like, I'm not going to lie. This movie's pretty good.

but not as good as the thought of fucking. I like your boobies. Whoa. That's pro grade. Shit. Yeah. That's worked for me. A lot. Yeah. Yeah. Especially. That's how we became friends. First thing he said to me. Yeah.

Now I was like, take your shirt off. Yeah. Take your top off. And I was like, and you're so hot. And then I was just like, yeah, man,

you got awesome boobies too. Yeah. And then we start making out. It's great. The people that leave really homophobic comments under our YouTube videos are like, yes, I know what are eating.

They're eating good today. That's going to be it for us, friends. Thank you very much for hanging in. We do love you. And we hope to see you soon. We, there's a mission. you choose to accept it, Mission Impossible

Music, Dan's gonna cut it in, get us sued by Tom Cruise. We have a Patreon, and we do an extra episode every month. And if you would like to support the show and support yourselves by getting dozens of hours of content, please go throw us a little cash over there, and it'll help us keep the lights on, do what we do. Tell a friend, find a video, share it, like it, comment on it, post about us on Reddit, do whatever you think you want to do. We appreciate all the support, but it does help a little show like ours, you know, flourish.

And it is, I think, just such a cool thing to do in the realm of so much toxicity to support anything that's positive. So if you find this positive, please share us as much as you can because we're fighting against people with fucking unlimited funds and assholes who like the powers that be support because it supports them because the more miserable we are, the more shitty things can get. Thank you, Josh Eagle and the Harvestudes for the song Paper Stars. Ready for some bad sex writing, Dave? Yeah. I'm going to talk about a viral video that's going on right now. I posted it on our account the other day, but it is a Manosphere influencer. And I guess we talked about this on our little guest with You Wanted This.

But there's current advice going around, and that is to never go down on a woman, because if you go down on a woman, you show that you care about her pleasure. And even if she has a really good time, she will no longer respect you because she only respect men who do not care about her pleasure and are not subservient, and she will go find another partner. What do you think about that? I mean, yeah, it's one of those things where it's very obvious in the sense that one of the big, complaints we hear from women is, I'm coming too much. Yes, thank you.

Men are making me orgasm too much. Yeah, that's the thing. Men are really good at doing it, and they're really kind and they're really conscientious. We get them when we want them. We get them to completion, and we have fun doing it. That's what they say every day. And we've been trying to take steps to make sure that that doesn't happen anymore. So I'm glad these brave Manosphere assholes, I mean, creators are out there.

saying advice that we wish we could have come up with. If only, if only we were as visionary as that. If only we had our fingers to the pulse of what women want, which is obviously less orgasms, right, ladies? Less orgasms. Turns out the orgasm gap was about something else all along. It was the, it was the respect, the amount of orgasms, the lower the respect. It's the gap between orgasms per capita and respect. God, I hate people.

My name is Day Miller. And I'm now Spain. We've been your fuck buddies.