F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Sexy JK Simmons Cosplay

Episode Date: January 26, 2026

BRING ME MORE (SEXY) PHOTOS OF SPIDER-MAN!  Topics include the sneaking suspicion of dishonesty, the effects of emotions on sexual stamina, making your girlfriend more kinky, and position practice.

Hello friends. My name is Day Miller. And I'm still thinking of the mole question from last week. Yeah, you should be. Yeah. And we're your fuck buddies. We're a sex dating advice podcast where we take your sticky, sexy situations and turn them into sexy, sticky situations. Simply put, there are questions online hiding in things like mole hills, and we find them, we answer them right here, right now in your ears. Shout out to Germany one more time. You guys holding it strong. Now our second biggest country, two weeks in a row. Philippines, where you at?

I do believe the Philippines are in a environmental crisis. So I think they have... Yeah, I'm obviously not being serious, Dane, and you should know that. If you know where Philippines are at, they're in our hearts. They finally have a chance to sit down and enjoy, and you're just shitting all over them, lording Germany over them. They know where I'm coming from. You made it weird.

I'm just saying, if you let me finish. Philippines, where are you? You're in our hearts. We're thinking about you. We love you. Yeah, there you go. That's what I was trying to say. Charlotte, Germany. We love you. Do best talk mine al-a-best of friend.

each and every day. How you doing? I'm all right. I'm good. Real snowy. We've, we've been podcasting for a while now. Today, yes. Yeah. Hour four? I'm, I'm starting to get podcasted out. So I want to get into this. Well, let's fucking go. This week we're going to talk about how do you react when you've a gut feeling your date is lying? Stamina problems. How can I make my girlfriend more kinky slash naughty? Practicing positions. Oh, this is my gorgeous dolphin. How do you react don't you have a gut feeling your date is lying. I recently matched with a woman online, went on a date right before she left for two months

for work and to visit family. Never talked about being exclusive or making it serious, but it seemed like things were going to pick up when she came back because we would call once a weekend a text about plans for when she would get back together. Three weeks ago, she told me shit to take her dad to the ER because he had a bad injury and therefore was unable to call me that weekend. Then one week ago, she told me her dog died

and she wasn't able to call that weekend either. Well, she gave me her last name, so I looked her up on social media. I saw pictures of her dad right after the injury. I can't be 100% certain. He didn't look like he sustained any injuries, as serious as she described, and definitely did not need to be in the ER as long as she said, did a little more digging,

and the day she told me she'd been taking care of her dad was the day her friend tagged her in a post at an event that they were dates to two different guys who seemed to be their friends. Additionally on social media, she posted photos of her dog after her dog died. Needless to say, after a work trip, she flaked on the date we had planned.

She wanted to try for another date, but I told her I don't think our relationship will work out. Why would she want to continue dating me? Back to my point, but she told me this information, had a gut feeling she was lying to me, but I thought I had to trust her because I was planning on building a good relationship with her. Do you have strategies to follow up in what you think are lies? Especially in the beginning stage where you might not be talking every day.

Should I start testing women on their integrity? I fell for her before I knew I could trust her. After video calling her the first few times, I was reminded of another woman I dated, who was flaky and inconsistent. Should I have trusted my gut in that instance? I am new to dating, so I've been giving a lot of forgiveness to the women I'm dating. What? What are you doing?

You are new to dating because you had one date and you're like, we haven't talked about exclusivity or long term. Of course you haven't. You went on one fucking date before she was leaving for a long period time. Yeah, if you were giving me that energy, maybe I would lie about my dog dying too. Also, like, I wish I had more information on the posts. Like, did you just see that she had posted it? Did you look at the caption?

Yeah, was the caption? RIP, Daisy, love you, miss you. Yeah, usually when something happens, like, you're like, oh, her dad went to the ER and then she posted a picture of her dad. Like, she could be like, hoping dad has a fast recovery. Because, like, are there lots of pictures of her dog and her dad on her social media? Because if, like, if every other post is about them, dog and dad, dad and dog, then like, okay. That's weird already. She's weird.

But your entire social media is just dad picks and dog picks? Sure. But if there is no dad or dog present at all, and then something happens to dad and all of a sudden a picture of dad shows up, then something happens to dog, a picture of dogs shows up, it would stand to reason that that's the reason there's a picture of that person or creature. No, it's more likely that she's a real sicko. And like every time she lies, she has to post the proof somewhere just to get a thrill. Yeah. That's probably far more likely. So it's a real sicko. You've busted this case wide open. You've caught her in her devious lies to not call you, I guess. Like this is, like, think about the crime and then the motive and be like, why would they do? Like, why would they make up something so extreme? She could have just been like, oh, I have to work late. Yeah, right?

Or I'm busy. Those are all very valid excuses of being like, sorry, we can't video call today. I have to work late. I'm busy. I've made plans. I won't be around tonight. Or even like, as someone. A friend is upset.

I got to hang out with them. Like you could have gone so much further down the severity scale if you needed to lie. But like, and again, you've gone on one date with this person. They don't need to give you much more than sorry, I'm not around tonight. They don't need to tell you why or what they're doing or who they're with. They don't need to do that. You've gone on one fucking date with them. Now, the thing is, sometimes people are just bad shit, right?

Sometimes people are like compulsive liars. Like, I've worked with people who have said like, oh, my mom got hit by a car. Like, I can't come into work. and then, like, they are posting pictures of their mom who's fine and having a girl they were dating at the restaurant come over to their house to meet said mom who was very car crash free. So it is a possibility. But I like to believe that, one, I agree with everything you've said because it is, it does strain credulity that they will randomly post these pictures right after things happen and it not be a love you, dad, hope you're okay. And I do hope that this is all because this person never reads captions. Like his attention span has been eroded by TikTok so hard that he's like swiping through.

He's like, can't read them. But it must be a falsehood. It must be a conspiracy. If it is the case that she is lying. Yeah, don't date this person. I mean, I think at the end of the day, you shouldn't date this person because you think they're capable of this. Yes. Like if I met someone and I hit it off with them, but then I text them next week and I feel like they're capable of telling such insane lies for again, no reason.

other than to avoid talking to me, I wouldn't want to keep seeing them because I would think, hey, this person is unhinged. This person is evil. Yeah. And that's, the thing is,

it's very true. It's like with jealousy, right? Like, if you're convinced your partner's cheating on you, you shouldn't date them either way. Because if they are, they suck and you shouldn't date them. If they're not,

you need to do some serious work on yourself. And I think that's this case where, like, you seem very quick to jump to, she's lying to me about all these things. And I think that's a you problem. And not just that. that. He's jumping quickly to a lot of things of being like, I went on one date with this person.

Yes. Before she left for, what, two weeks, two months. And we didn't talk about becoming in an exclusive relationship. Of course you fucking didn't. Why would you? Right. So it seems like this. Oh, sorry. Yeah, it was two months. Two months, right? I also would not be looking to get into a relationship with someone I just met right before I left for a significant amount of time. Also, let's be fair. Depending on the fucking injury, seeing a picture of her dad, isn't going to tell you shit, right? What if he pulled his back? He could be in a fucking picture.

What if he, like, broke a rib? He could be in a fucking picture. You've got to get a leg amputated, and it could be, you know, a picture from the waist up. Like, you don't know shit. It could also be like all sorts of, like, you know, he could have passed out.

He could have, like, there's any number of invisible. Yeah. And this is, I want to talk about this for a second. Lately, we have an accessible washroom in my, my bar that I work at.

And then the other washrooms are, you have to take a flight of stairs to get to. the amount of times people will be like, you know, specifically older people I've noticed, but younger people do this too, where people are like, where's the bathroom? And I would say,

you know, there's an accessible stall on the main floor right over there or otherwise it's go up the stairs and blah, blah, blah. And people are like, does it look like I need the handicap washroom? And I'm like, one, I have no idea. Yeah.

Right? Like, I have no idea what you're... It would be wild of you to assume that one way or another. Yeah. It's like, I have no idea if you have a bad knee or, you know,

you have a respiratory thing that, wins you going up the stairs. Like, I don't know. I'm giving you the information. You deal with it as, as you need. If it would be one thing if I was like, oh, I'll walk you over to the accessible washer. Like, sure, then I would understand you being like, what are you doing? But I gave you both options. You choose whichever one works for you. Something weird. Also, you don't need to be any certain way to use the accessible washroom. You can just pop in there as a normal person if you want. Yeah, plenty of people do. Yeah. I, yeah, people, I don't know, it does suck though. Like when I was recovering from a broken ankle, there were times where I was like, yes, I can technically stand,

but like the longer I'm on my ankle because it's not doing well, the worse and worse it is, especially if I was on like public transit and I'm standing and it moves and I have to keep shifting my weight around on my ankle and it gets worse and worse and worse. There are times where I would be sitting down and so we'll get on the bus. I'm like, God damn it, like I wish I could get up, but like right now I pretty much can't stand and I'm like I probably look like the biggest asshole. So you never know. Someone could be a ravishing podcaster. And you might not know. There are invisible disabilities that exist.

So just like chill. Chill. Yeah. So it seems like it's you, dude. Maybe go read those captions. Maybe take a chill pill with regards to like dating in general. Like things shouldn't move that fast. So yeah, of course you didn't fucking talk about it. And like, yeah, I don't know, man.

It seems like a lot. Oh, I fell for her before I got. I trusted her. I could learn to trust her. It's like. Then don't. Then you didn't fall for her then. You projected a bunch of your bullshit onto this.

poor woman. And then when she didn't act exactly the way that you wanted her to, you spiraled. Yeah, I think you say like, oh, what do I do? How do I trust my gut instinct? Or what do I do when I have a gut instinct? Someone's lying. I think you take a step back, much like jealousy, analyze why you feel like this person is lying. Is there a good reason for what they're saying? Is there a good reason for you to not trust them? Is what they're claiming a wild thing to claim in the face of what they're trying to do, which is not called you for one day? Are you drawing on like past insecurities, past problems, past trust issues, that's what you need to do. And if you don't trust someone, you don't need to have an excuse for it. You don't need to be like, well,

they've only earned X amount of distrust points. You can just be like, yeah, I'm not into this. And again, that could be your issue, right? It could not be them. It could just be that you're scarred by a previous trauma or whatever. But like, you got to analyze what you're feeling and why and then move on from there. Yeah, it's, you're like welcome to follow your gut instincts. I I, when I was dating, I would always follow my gut instincts. If I went on a date with someone and it doesn't matter how good the sort of like physical chemistry or physical traction was, if they gave me like, um, kind of feeling, then I wouldn't pursue it. I would always follow my gut instincts. So feel free to do that.

But what you're doing here isn't following gut instincts. Your, your like deep dive detective skilling, right? Like none of this is, I don't know, it's strange and it's poorly. too. Yeah. Last piece of advice, read the fucking captions. Yeah. Yes. This is from Hunting Swan, Haunting Swan. Is it normal to not have control of my stamina during sex and finishing early when I've never had this problem before? So I, a 21 year old male and my girlfriend, a 23 year old female, have been having intercourse. And this is the first time I've been so heavily emotionally into a woman. In brackets, I love her. And during the start, I was able to hold

my own during intercourse. And I would last my usual time. Our sex is always fun, but recently from the last month, I've been noticing I haven't been able to last as long, and it's gotten to the point where it feels like I'm not even lasting more than a minute when I was able to put in about five to ten minutes without any hard fight against my stamina. Now it feels like I'm becoming a two-pump jump, and I feel so bad for her. She doesn't mind at all, since I do everything I can to make her finish, so she feels like it's a compliment. However, it doesn't feel that way to me, and I want to be able to hold my own again. I've got more experience than she does, and I've never faced this issue before, except. for the second time I've had sex. I have no idea what's happening with me or what I'm doing.

I've also seen a heavy degrees in physical activity since I got injured and can't hold weight for a bit. I've also grown insanely attracted to her, but it is maybe something, sorry, syntax, but there's maybe something you've done or have done to help with this. I am thinking I'm trying to take a break from sex as I might just need a break, maybe, but then I feel like having a break would only make me more sensitive and make the problem worse. Is there maybe a chance? I am a sex addict and this is a symptom? What are your thoughts and experiences? This question kind of spiraled. Also, like, that bit with the injury just kind of came and went in

in one sentence very quickly. Yeah. So I don't know what's going on with that. What injury? Where? What does it mean? I have no answer for you. Great. So I think in cases like this, right? Like, if it was the flip side, if it's this way, I think the first thing to look at is like what has changed, right? Like, if you weren't able to come and you just started like antidepressants or you gained a bunch of weight or something like, you know, it could be related to that. So I would flip that and look at this. You have an injury. Are you modifying how you're having sex? Are you having sex less? Are you masturbating less because you're in this relationship? Like previously, if you were masturbating all the time and then going and having sex, like your stamina will have been affected because, you know,

you won't be as horny, right? Like if you do take a break as you guess, I'm going to think it's going make the issue worse because you're going to be extra horny the next time you have sex. So is that it? Is it that you're doing different modified positions to account for the injury? Do those feel better, right? Those are the things I would look at because it seems like something has changed in that regard. Or it could simply be like a mental game. Maybe it happened to you once.

And like much like, again, the opposite of like, you know, losing your erection or whatever, it could be that you're just thinking too much about it. Because I feel like if you ever try, if you're like, okay, we've been going along enough I need to come. That like kind of pushes it further away, whereas if you're like, okay, I really got to not come, your dick's like, you want to come right now? And you're like, no. So I feel like it could be that spiral. So I would look either into that or the fact that something has changed. Also, you spell it out pretty clearly that like your head over heels for this woman. And it seems to have increased recently as well. Emotional connection has an effect on sexual

stamina. So there are some people who like sex and emotion kind of are divorced and aren't necessarily intertwined. You can have sex with whoever feel the same way about them and it doesn't really matter. It seems like you are not that way. It seems that because you find this person so attractive and because you care so much about them, your emotions and your sexual stamina are sort of like playing into each other and the sex is that much more enjoyable because you're having sex with someone that you really care about. You're having sex with someone you're emotionally attached to and you're having sex with someone that you find really attractive. Those are obviously going to have an effect on your sexual stamina. So you also have to realize that like, oh, hey, this might

not be a problem to solve in the sense that there's nothing wrong with you. You are just so into this person that it's easier to come. Well, as a man, you shouldn't be feeling emotions. So there there is something wrong with you. We say this every fucking week. If you're feeling emotions, no, that's time you could be spent making money. I'm working out. I'm working out. So listen to her. It seems like you're doing your due diligence.

I understand it feels shitty when you come too fast. But then you're like, I'm doing everything I can to make her finish. Yeah. Right. And she's like, hey, this is fine. So she's a compliment. Hopefully being genuine and honest with her response, right? Hopefully she is saying, this is great.

I'm satisfied. It's nice. I like that you're so into me. I like that I can make you come real quick. And you make me come. So everyone's boxes are getting checked or checked and everyone is is feeling good. So then why like take a little bit of pressure off yourself? There are things you can do if if you find that you're coming too fast, maybe reduce the foreplay on your end of things so that you're not priming yourself.

You know, maybe she's incredible at blow jobs. Maybe choose days where today is a blowjob day. Or if you want to maybe last a little longer, maybe just focus on her during foreplay. Do what you need to do to just sort of get. primed and start going to town. Other things like taking a quick breather, if you find you're getting a little too close, stop, go down on her, finger her, make out something, something to keep attention on her. You can almost make that into like a sexy game as well. Like you can like have it be almost like a tease, right? When you feel like you're getting close, be like, wait, no, I don't think

you deserve that yet. Like pull off a bit like teaser, rubber clit, like go down there. Like it doesn't have to be like, oh, show, I'm about to come. Like, I guess I'll do this. Like come at it sexy. Come at confident and then get her to beg you to fuck her as she comes. And then if you only got a little bit left in the tank, boom. There are fun ways to do it. And that is definitely one. Also, if there's a position you find doesn't quite do it for you, like if you feel less when they're on top, for example, get them to go on top for a bit. And that's always like a little break. And again, I don't think it's an issue. Like, I think if you can get your head past the fact that this isn't a problem like Dan's saying, once you've kind of looked at the other issues at play, I think

one, the mental game will help you, the fact that you're being more confident and you're not worried that something's wrong. The fact that you can be confident in the fact that your partner is into this, that will help make it better and then just have more sex. Don't have less. Have more. Also, I don't know why this would be a sex addict thing. It's weird that that came out of left field. You're, I think when you talk about sex addiction, I think you're talking about just the act of coming frequently and quickly. That's not what sex addiction is. Sex addiction is much like, just because you have a beer, it doesn't make you an alcoholic. Yeah. And that's it, right?

If you require sex to feel okay, if you require sex to function, if you don't have sex and you get depressed, those are the signs of perhaps a sexual addiction. Yeah. If you're just really enjoying parts of your life for sex, like if you're like, oh, I got to go to work, but fuck, I could fuck. And then you have sex and get fired because you just can't not. Yeah, sex addiction, sure. We can talk about that.

But yeah, you just enjoying sex and your partner making you come quickly is not a sex addiction thing. Also, sex addiction is usually, or not sex addiction, but like masturbation addiction is usually characterized by the inability to come because you've like desensitized yourself. So you're kind of the opposite, really. Yeah. My guess is if I wish a wager, it's a mixture of the two things we talked about in the sense of you're probably masturbating less because you're so into this person. And therefore, and you're having sex probably fairly regularly. So and you're spending less time alone would be my guess. So you're superintention. Yeah. So masturbation probably has gone down. And therefore. And there's. And you're spending less time alone. So masturbation probably has gone down. And therefore. And there. And there. And you're. And, Therefore, you're less stimulated less often. So, yeah, it makes sense. And then add in the fact that you're really into this person, it's a perfect storm of potentially finishing too soon. Also, it feels like you've been together long enough now that you're probably at the point

where you know each other's bodies very well. Like, it's not the first few times where like nerves are at play, but also you're kind of strangers. So you've probably dialed in or she's probably dialed in what she needs to do to make you feel good and vice versa. So it's like, yeah, things have gotten better as they do. It makes sense. And some people are just real good at what they do.

Like sometimes, like, it's, or they have a special move that, like, they've mastered or whatever. Like, sometimes they're just good at fucking. And you really don't have much of a defense against it. So I think take a breath. You're okay. This is by no consideration, 92, 18. How can I make my girlfriend more kinky slash naughty? My girlfriend is a bit boring during sex and always wants to do the same positions.

She shows little interest in trying new things on our own initiative. We've done pegging a few. times, but only after I brought it up. She also rarely wears lingerie and doesn't have any particular preferences. How can I get her to think more dirty and want to try different things? I've already talked to her about it. She says she just doesn't have any particular preference. I mean, you can do the kink questionnaire.

There's a bunch of those out there. There's the, I can never remember the name of the one, but there is one that is anonymous. It's like a kink test where you and your partner both sign up with like a QR code, you answer the questions and everything that aligns. Yeah. So if you pick a thing and they, don't pick it. They never get to know that you picked it. So if you're nervous about, say, whatever, they don't necessarily get to know unless they're also into it, in which case,

what are you nervous about? Yeah. There's a number of different things of being like, well, okay, like, I really want to explore sexuality with you and I really want to do this. So it's like, maybe one day you bring the laptop to bed and you watch some porn together and be like, you're going to pick, you know, a playlist, like you're going to pick a couple of videos that look good to you or you're going to search a term that looks good to you. And we'll, we'll watch some stuff together. And if there's anything that speaks to you, we'll give it a go. Yeah, I think the problem with this question is in the phrasing. It's like, how do I make my girlfriend? Okay, we're already going to stop there. You don't make them do anything, right? There's not like a little button.

There's not like a clockwork orange, like hold her eyelids open and make our watch a thing. And she's like, oh my God, I'm kinky and naughty now. That's not how it works. If she doesn't have preferences, that's fine. There's two things that you need to do here, if we want to get like really reductive. And one is, like Dame was saying, you set up an environment that is comfortable, safe, sexy. So that if she does have things, she feels confident bringing them up, right? She doesn't feel scared, doesn't feel like you're going to judge her. Feels like it's a safe space for her to explore these things. And you give her the room and the support to kind of like fill that in and bring things to you.

So that if she has them, if she develops them, that's great. The second thing is she doesn't seem to be weird when you bring things forward, right? Like she's tried pegging, which for a lot of people is a little bit more on the, the extreme hand. So it's like if there are things you want to do, it seems like you're able to bring them up with her and she's willing to either give them a shot or not. So once you're making that safe, I would say bring up the things that you want to do. And once you don't hold it against her, if she doesn't want to do them, that seems fine too. So it's like it doesn't seem like there are things you want that she's not doing aside from maybe wearing lingerie, which like, you know,

I'm sure you could talk to her, but like expecting her to wear it all the time or for every sexual encounter is a bit much. So once, again, once you're being chill, if you want to bring this up as a thing you like, hopefully they'll listen to you. But like it doesn't seem like there's really that many issues. It just feels like you want her to bring stuff up of her own accord. And she's telling you there's no things that she wants to bring up, which like, sure, maybe you want to be surprised. Maybe you want things to be a little bit sexier without regarding, like, including you. But like, if she's not into anything, I think it's just time for you to make the space safe and also bring forward the things you want.

And I understand the like, I'm going to say there is frustration of being like, I want you to participate. Like, please do something. Because if it is like when it's sex time, she just kind of goes into like robot mode. And it's like, okay, well, we'll do missionary. And I'll just kind of like, you know, sex is fine. And like some people don't have a huge either sex drive or a, what's the word I'm looking for?

Sort of like. Sexual vocabulary. Yeah. Like it just doesn't mean that much. them. Like, they enjoy it. They know it's important to the relationship. They know you like it. So they're going to do it. And like, that is, is a thing that some people feel and some people exist as. And like, that is fine if that's what you are. But like, I think you also like, this is one of those situations where we talk about a lot where sexual compatibility isn't divorced and individual from full compatibility. It's if if the, if the bedroom is lacking, then the relationship is lacking if you guys are both unhappy. So like, you. Bedroom is lacking the relationship be cracking. So if she's not bringing the energy you want to the bedroom, as Nell said, there's no way of making her do that. It's the same way as like if it was flipside and she was crazy kinky and into all sorts of crazy things.

And she wanted you to do it. And you were like, well, I don't really want to be pegged. That doesn't make her like if she then, like, how do I make my boyfriend want to get fucked in the ass? Like, that's a bad question. Right? Because like you've expressed it and you said you don't want to do it. And now she isn't. So there isn't a, you guys are sort of like on different levels.

And I don't know how much of the conversation is about like, hey, this is I want a little bit more, you know, I want enthusiasm. It's not just like what crazy kink are you into? Because some people aren't into it. Like some people think about that like get frozen. They're like, well, I don't know. Like I just kind of like sex. Whereas like if what you really want is a little more effort, that's another conversation to have. Like if you want, if you want, like, 100%.

I think that's a very easy question to have or like conversation to have because I don't think asking for that is unrealistic. And I do think it's weird if you have this conversation, someone's like, nah, I'm not really into effort. Like, that's weird. I think it's okay to be like, I'm not really into BDSM, but to be like, I'm not really into giving effort in the bedroom. That's kind of crazy to me. Yes. Yeah. And I think that's the conversation you also need to have of being like, because asking someone to be like, what is your crazy dark fantasies?

Because, like, if someone asked me that, like, I'm a pretty sexually liberal person and a pretty experienced person, if someone was like, what's your dark sexual? It's like, I don't really have one. Like, yeah, I don't think I'd be shocking anybody. I don't know. It's like the same thing we've been doing now except maybe like, I don't know somewhere different and in a different outfit. Like maybe I like I don't, I don't know really what like what I would bring to the table on a conversation like that. And this is from someone who enjoys sex and has kinks and he does. have a breadth of experience. So, like, I'd understand that, like, if someone wasn't kinky would be like, yeah, I don't have any of those. And that's not lack of effort or someone not wanting to participate in the bedroom. That's just someone just like they don't have a dark fantasy. They don't have an obscure kink or something. They just want to be fucked.

And some people are happy with that. And that's good enough for some people. It feels to me, and again, this might be reaching, but like, much like what you're saying, that the real issue is like lack of effort and lack of like kind of like participation. in sex as a whole rather than like, you know, oh, I just want more kinks. But like the being like, oh, I want to know your secret kink. I want you to be kinky. It feels almost like having a baby to fix a relationship or getting married to fix a relationship. It's like if for whatever reason they do have a kink, is that going to fix the problem? Do you think like, oh, now that she says she likes to be

choked, she's finally going to make the rest of sex exciting? Like if the issue is there. Yeah, she'll start wearing lingerie. Yeah, right? So it feels like there's a different issue of play here. Either way, you can't make someone be what they're not, but you can make a safe space for them to develop that. And you can ask for what you really want, which seems to be a little bit more like teamwork and sex. So it's not just you. Yeah.

It'd be nice if every now and then when we're going to have sex, you're not just wearing a dirty hoodie. A new hoodie. Yeah. Like, it'd be nice if like you take a second and go put on something nice. Uh, this is from Tempopos. Is there a way to train for? certain positions to make them less intimidating?

This is from a 23-year-old female. I had sex for the first time with my ex-boyfriend, but I never felt pressure or pleasure with him. Most times, I was uncomfortable, and it would hurt a lot. So he would just stop. Eventually, we broke up, and I didn't have sex with anyone else until a month ago. With this new guy, he was really nice to me, but I couldn't get the rhythm right.

I was really anxious, and we mostly did missionary. When I tried getting on top, it would slip out, and I got tired easily. Thankfully, I didn't feel any pain like I used to, but I still didn't feel any real pleasure. And because we stopped, he didn't finish either. I felt really ashamed of the sex being awkward, especially with him being older and more experienced. I would like to experiment more, but Doggy has been really painful for me and I get tired easily while on top. I started exercising recently, Pilates, but I'm still kind of scared of certain positions hurting or not

being able to keep up. I'm currently single, so I can't practice with anyone. Are there specific moves to help with this? I just want to figure out how to move my hips correctly for it to feel comfortable or pleasurable. Okay. There's a lot here. I would say, there's a few different ways you can go. One, why is it hurting? Is it a lack of lubrication? Is it vaginismus? Maybe go see a gynecologist because, like, it really shouldn't be hurting.

So if it is vaginismus or if it is, again, a lack of lube, you could buy loop, right? Make sure there's lube on hand if they come over to your place. And nerves can also play into fear because you clench down and you can do a lot and it does seem like you're nervous, which I think also accounts for the lack of pleasure that you're feeling. but for that issue, it would seem to me to go, you know, see your gynecologist, get some loop, one or both of those. I would also consider looking into pelvic floor specialists as well. Yes. If you are finding certain positions particularly painful with everyone.

Like, I would like to know if you say that like doggy style hurt, do you mean with your ex when everything hurt? Did you try doggy with this new guy and it still hurt? Like, that's it, right? Like I think you need to, I know you're worried about pain. And I think there's no harm in specifically talking to your partner. I'd be like, hey, I'd like to try a doggy though. It's hurt in the past. So I may have to pull the record on it.

Any normal, respectful person will be for sure. Just let me know. Like it's, um, because I feel like hopefully it will be obvious and it's not one of those things where like it hurts the day after kind of situation. Um, but yeah, if you find that there are certain positions or. most of sex is hurting you. I think that's time to go see a doctor and a specialist. 100%. Yeah. So see a pelvic floor specialist, see your gynaecologist.

Other things you could do. You could get a delto. You could practice with a dildo at home, be it in, you know, various positions or just in general, see how that feels. Again, if that's hurting you, go see a specialist. You also don't have... Especially one of those suction cup ones. Yeah. You can get one that, like, you could stick it to the floor,

you could put it against the floor. Yeah. That'll let you practice being on top for sure. and like you don't have to do any positions that you don't want to do. So like if you're sleeping with someone like this brand new guy and you're like, oh, I get really tired on top, you don't have to go on top, right? You can also just practice those motions at home. But it's weird to me that you're like, we did missionary, but the rhythm was fucking you up. You don't have to participate in terms of rhythm if you're on the bottom during missionary.

I'm worried you're doing a little too much work. Yes. I'm worried you're trying a little too hard and participating in heart. of the act that don't really require your participation. Also, like, when you're on top, there's a lot of different ways to do it, right? There's, like, there's grinding. There's, like, up and down. There's, like, you kind of like with your, like, torso down laid across them.

There's you sitting up. There's you with your legs kind of like in a squat. There's you with your knees down. Like, there's reverse. There's so many different ways to do it that I'm assuming maybe you haven't explored. So maybe look up guides on how to do that. There are people on TikTok and people on Instagram who show you as a woman, like positions that they use and how to like get achieve various effects. Look those up because they could be eye opening. But again, if that's not what you're into, if doggy isn't what you're into, just say that. Like if you're sleeping with someone that they're like, oh, I want to hit up from the back. You just say, sorry, I'm not into that. Thankfully, it seems like you are interested in these things. You just, you're worried that they're going to hurt or you can't do it. Also, on the topic of being on top, just because you're on top doesn't mean you're doing all the work. Yes.

I would say it's easier to thrust lying down than it is to ride. So like if you're starting to get tired, just ask him to, you know, pass the torch to him and ask him to like, fuck you. It's just, again, just because someone is on top does not mean that they are in control or set the pace. I'm worried again that you're trying to do weight too much. This is where, this is where rhythm does come in because if he's thrusting, you also need to work with that. you might have to just politely be like, hey, can I do the work here? Let him chill out for a bit and let you find the rhythm. And then he can go to your rhythm as opposed to because like if this guy is like once you're on top, he just, he thrust in and you're trying to find that rhythm and that's not a strength of yours. It might be easier to go the other way around. If he has a better sense of rhythm, he might be able to match yours easier once you've set the pace. But either way, it's like I think if if rhythm is your problem, then as now said, get yourself with Dildo. One of those ones with the suction cup, maybe start small, put on a song, and move to the beat. That is the best way.

And then if you want, throw those songs on, make yourself a sex playlist, get used to those rhythms, and then put it on when you have sex. And that way, like... Well, no, because the playlist is a bit weird. You got to bring your sex metronome, you know? Yeah. Do something normal, right? Pull out your Ziploc bag with your lube and your sex metronome and let it go to town. You know what?

In a certain situation, I think it would be kind of hot if someone whipped out a sex metronom. You could probably make it work. Yeah, I think there's a specific woman with a specific kind of vibe that would check some boxes for me with a sex metronome. Yeah, and then you get to do your whiplash cosplay. Not cosplay. What's the word I'm looking for? Nope, it's cosplay. I love my...

Roleplay. God damn. You think I would know the word role play considering we've been doing it for hours today. No, it's my J.K. Simmons costume. Hell, he's... That's why I shaped my head. Yeah. So I can effectively...

J.K. Simmons is it up. Get me pictures of Spider-Man. Yeah, you just practice. And then again, if these things aren't working, go see a professional, right? Like, it could be something outside of your control. Get sorted. Get sorted. Do a real quick one here.

What is the single best advice you can give to a man trying to find a girlfriend? Chill the fuck out. Yeah, it's pretty good. I'm going to hit you with a find the girl, not the girlfriend. And I mean that as in like, you know, fuck the relationship. It'll come if you find the right person. And you don't want it if you don't find the right person. person. So find the right person. Don't just throw in all your cards for someone you think might actually

date you. Yeah. I think if I want to get more specific and more actionable advice, become friends with women. Have platonic friends that are women or identify as women. Because I feel like a lot of people don't have that. A lot of people's female friends are either people they aren't attracted to or other people's like girlfriends or sisters or whatever. Like they don't people that they're actively trying to fuck but can't admit it. And that's what I mean. It's like you need to have friends that are women that you're capable of just being normal around and not trying to fuck and not trying to make like if every one of your

female friends is someone you're trying to sleep with, then you don't have any female friends. No. You have you have failed romantic prospects or potential romantic prospects. You don't have female friends. And I think that is a huge area in which men these day lack where. If you can't be chill around a woman long enough to like have a beer and not try to fuck her, then I don't think you're going to have much. I don't think I think that I would love to see a study on men who are like, yes, I have friends that I'm not trying to have sex with. And their how that correlates into like their success as as daters.

Because I imagine. Huge. I would imagine. Yeah. I imagine the men who are capable of having relationships with women, women that aren't sexual probably do far better with women that are sexual. 100%. Now, I got a pretty long bad sex writing. So I'm just going to go into the exit now. Thank you, Josh Eagle and the Harvesties for their song, Paper Stars. Thank you, listener, for being here today. Thank you, Germany. Prayers out to our Philippines friends. And we love you all. If you want to support us, please head over to Patreon. Follow us. You'll get a bunch of new episodes there and you'll help keep the podcast going. If you want to support us in other ways, we would love for you to also go. Follow us on social media. Share our videos, comment on them. give us rates and reviews everywhere. We have a YouTube.

Go check us out there. And we love you. Also, if you're ever on a Reddit or whatever, and someone says, hey, I want to listen to something funny, two guys talking, something positive, something left wing, sex and dating stuff, throw us in the ring. Then more listeners, the better.

That's the common podcast recommendation. Hey, can anyone suggest two men talking? Genuinely, though? Like, I'm not even joking. That comes up all the time. And I'm like, one, why? And two, I wish I wouldn't get us banned from every subreddit for just being like us. The amount of subreds I would ban from at this point is unhinged.

They don't like me. Mel doesn't follow any other rules. Sometimes it's their fault, but yes. Are you ready? Yeah. So this is a, it's called Meta Nice Guy at the bar. And these are all the messages that she got the next day before she woke up. How early are you capable or willing to wake up?

I could be the dominant savage yet respectful gentleman. Man I am, which is what's happened. You prefer me to tell you what time and where to meet me tomorrow morning? James. What's your necklays mean slash mean to you? The skull? I'm gonna tell you where I'll be tomorrow, morning for breakfast. I expect you there, missy.

Probably a wrong number. Just want a confidence boost. Huh? Then he sent her the song Holy Grail, Feet Justin Timberlake by Jay-Z. FYI. I am very single. Yes, by choice. My standards extremely high.

I know what I am, what I offer, little princess. Not a wild text or blowing you up. I'm just being very clear with a supposedly single lady. Real man goes directly after what he wants. Right now, I don't know you. I know I want to learn more. Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. I'm driving for the next 1.5 hours.

Call if you want. Then he sent another two songs. Then another song. Then he goes, last I swear, LMFAO. Then another song. Then says, one last song, lull, broke my own rule for the record. No one's numbers are saved. I memorize the ones that matter.

And yeah, I'm that smart or clever too. my own mom and dad, not save no one, my own trash issues, dot, dot, dot, meet me here, 7 a.m. sharp, and it's the late, like an address. I'm deaf trying a new approach right now this minute, and by all statistical standards, doesn't work. Sent three more songs. If anything, I introduce you some banging music, including some laughs, LMAO. Do you know what, I, so I assume this is between the time of like midnight and 7 a.m.,

I guess, if they're beating at seven. Yeah, I believe at 8.5. 59, 849 a.m. She woke up and was like, what the fuck? Yeah, I mean, at this point in time, it's glad, I'm glad she's an early riser because, like, I wouldn't have been up until like noon. That would have been several more hours,

five more hours for this man to exhaust his Spotify playlist. I just, I love the journey, right? Where he's like, I'm cooking with this real like domineering. Like, I'm gonna fucking tell you where to be. A little missy. Cool, bro. going to work real well. And then he's like, shit, shit, it's not working. Hit her with the big guns.

I'm so smart. I don't use my phone correctly. And I memorize every number. Okay, Malcolm in the middle. Like, nice. Who like, I would love. I would love to know the science and the psychology behind the spiral that like every shitty dude goes through of being like, I'm the most important man. You're a beautiful woman. Actually, fuck that. You're the worst. How dare you? I'm better than you. Yeah.

Like the devolvent of that is, is such a, uh, an interesting phenomenon. But like so rapid as well. Like always literally he's like, how early waking up? What's your necklace mean? I'll tell you where to be tomorrow. Then the fourth message is probably wrong number. Just wanted the confidence boost. And then he was like, you know what?

I am going to send just in case holy grail by Jay Z and Justin Timberlake in case that brings it back. And I'm sure it did. Yeah, yeah. That's the thing. She was probably back in. If he left it there, right? Yeah. If you left it there, it would have been.

fun. Yeah. My name is Day Miller and I'm Nile Spain. We've been your fuck buddies. Holy Graeme.