F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Sperm of the Moment

Episode Date: March 16, 2026

More like Carpe Deez Nuts, right?  Am I right, guys?  Deez nuts?  That's still funny right?  Topics include cab fare, too weak for missionary, leaving Raul out of it, sex recovery day.

Hello friends. My name is Day Miller. And I'm now Spain. And we are your fuck buddies. We're a sex and dating vice podcast where we take your sticky, sexy, sexy, sexy situations and turn them into sexy sticky situations. Find your questions online. Or, wait, what you say? I feel like I don't know. I feel like I said the same thing twice. You know what? That's all good. You know what we're about here. We're finding questions. We're answering them. It's on the top of sex and dating. We win awards for it and we love you. Thanks for coming back. This week, we're going to talk about New partner asking for money, should I be concerned. How to help with missionary? I got caught in my hoodie. Am I the asshole for lying to my husband?

How to tell my wife, I need a break. Can I need to talk about before we dive ran in? I don't think so. Yeah. No. It was briefly nice. The weather was briefly good, but now it's raining. So that's my journey.

It's that. We've entered into rain season. No, I came to this country to escape the rain. All right. This is by Don't Worry About Him, man. New partner asking about money. Should I be concerned? Met a girl in the dating app.

She seems perfectly normal. Definitely a little shy. Went on a date for about six hours where mostly we just talked. I paid for our food and activities, all adding up to about $80, so nothing too crazy. She doesn't work and hasn't for a while, but she's been looking for a job. Today, she politely asked me to send her $30 for an Uber trip to a job interview nearby. The interview is something I've known about for a bit. She only has one parent, an adoptive mother that doesn't loan her anything, and she personally has no money.

Should I be concerned right now or see how this goes? I'm male 23. She's female 22. Edit, partner sounded to me like an ambiguous term for someone you don't call a girlfriend yet. I now know that might be more than girlfriend, actually. A better word for a relationship is date, maybe? Yeah, you've gone on one date. Yeah, you're not partners.

You're not partners. You have not heard partners unless you are a cowboy in which you're saying partner. Exactly. Or unless you did sign some kind of like business contract on date one. Yes, only you've started a business together for sure. Did you open a Tim Hortons? Legally, you have to tell us if you open the Tim Hortons because that will change our advice drastically. If she opened a Tim Horton, she would have a job. Should we run into Tim Hortons? I don't know, man. I know a lot of owners. I know a lot of owners who don't have no job. Let me tell you that. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, I remember I was talking to a woman very briefly off of one of the dating apps at one point in time.

And we had never even met yet. It was one of those sort of like, I'm free Tuesday. I'm not free at all this week. And like it was just sort of like missed ships in the night for several weeks. And then one night, she was like, I kind of want to just like come over. And I was like, cool. And she's like, but first I need to go to the hospital and I can't get there. Do you have $20?

And I was like, what? Come over after the hospital. Yeah. What do you mean? Not a bad way, but like maybe. other things are more important right now. Yeah. And I was just like, are you okay? And she was like, I don't want to talk about it. It's like, none of this is inspiring me to do any of the things you're asking for. I don't want you to come over. I don't want to give you $20 to go to the, like,

if you're in an emergency call 911, it sucks because like it feels like a scam, right? Like if someone is actually going to the hospital and they need this money, that's really rough. But when I hear that, I think, oh, you've chosen something that I can't really say no to. Like, oh, I got to go to the hospital, no. I'm an asshole now, right? But like, that's what scammers do. So it's like, if this is true, you've made it sound like a scam, which makes me not want to give you that money. Also, compound it with the fact that you booty called me first in order to like, I guess, like, fish hooked me into thinking, like, oh, if I give her $20 and she goes to the hospital, then she'll come over and fuck me. And she'll come over. Yeah. Like, I don't understand. And I don't

which I would say is hugely misjudged because, again, like, nothing to me. And again, no shit to people have to go to the hospital. It happens. But that's not a horny thing for me. I'm not like, oh, girl, you go on the hospital? You're going to smell like antiseptic? Like, you may be in peril. I can't wait. No, like, go home and rest, maybe. That's probably the best. You've been around a bunch of sick people. Exactly. Yeah, get on over here, girl. Also, there's hospitals are serious, so there's a reason you're going. So you should go home and rest. Yeah. Also, maybe spend that time instead of going over to mine, looking for a job. So next time you need to go to the hospital, But I'm also like, am I really your best source of this?

Yeah, that's also worrying, right? Right? Like, out of everyone that you hopefully have in your life, the dude that you've never met off of Bumble or whatever is the guy you're going to go to to get $20 to go to the hospital. You don't have friends, you know, family? You don't have, like. Or you've gone through that whole list at which point, like, either they're the worst people in existence or they know you do this all the time or it's a scam.

So I'm sorry, girl, to know for me for both. the money and the awkward ill booty call. I think I just didn't even respond. I think that was the... And that's fair. That was just my ghost mechanic. I was just like, I don't know how to move forward with this. And I certainly don't want to talk to you anymore.

So I'm just going to fade into the darkness and let you figure out this hospital visit by yourself. 100%. The amount of things that would have to like all combine in the perfect way for you to be the person that this would make sense for. Like, it's serious enough that she can't get there any other way but Uber, but not serious enough for it to be, you know, an

ambulance trip. You're the only person in the world that, like, no, it's just bad. It's just bad. And it's good that you ghosted her because I'm sorry, guys, you can't just do this shit. It's scam. And also, like, you can't just I can't give you $20 and you get an Uber. It goes on a credit card.

Yeah. It's like, maybe she was using Uber for cab, and I know a lot of people do that. You know what? She was a very attractive young woman where I imagine she can get on Tinder and scam any sucker with being like, I don't have any money to get to your place. Give me $20. And then just take that $20 and go to the hospital. Because that's the thing. It's like we we try to get people to not be scammed out here. And it's like, yes, sure. Is there a small percent chance that this was real? Maybe. But you got to realize if you're asking for something, you can't couch it in a way that it

seems like a scam because we're out here telling people not to get scammed. Yeah. Yeah. Back to this person. One date, six hours. That's very important. And now she's like, give me $30 so I can get an Uber to a job interview. Yeah, this is not your responsibility. No. This is...

It's such an overreach. It's such an overstep. It's such a gross... I literally could never do that. No, no. I think I would just turn to Ash if I tried to. Like, she's asking you to spend almost half of what you spent on a date for her to go to. Also, where the fuck is this interview?

I mean, like, I don't know, I don't know what people's geography is. But like, in order for me to spend $30 on an Uber, I either have to be trying to get somewhere like during peak surge time plus a snowstorm. And I'm going halfway across the city. It's, I don't understand. Where, how are you getting to work every other day? And that's the thing. It's like, one, you sound like a scammer. Two, it's a crazy thing to ask.

Maybe you're very close friend, sure. But like a stranger who you want to have romantic relationships with, presumably, what are you doing? And also it's just like, when I want to date, I don't want to give someone the impression that I'm a useless human who can't handle my shit. And if you cannot make it to a job interview when you are, you know, jobless and need a job by your own power, you're useless and you can't handle your own shit. The other thing is like, he was like, oh, we've known about this job interview for a while. So it's like, you could prepare. You could figure out what you need to do to get to this job. that doesn't involve an Uber that you can't afford.

Get a bike. Again, presumably, you're going to have to go to this place multiple times during the week. How are you getting there and back if you don't have an Uber? The office is downtown day. The interviews in Alaska. Yes, yeah. I need a flight. And maybe it is a work from home sort of situation.

I don't know. I don't know the semantics of this job or the details of this job. But it does, regardless of what the deal is, you don't have the responsibility. responsibility to manage a stranger's finances. Because that's what she is. You spent six hours with her once. She is a stranger. She is still someone that you just met on the internet asking you for not an inconsequential amount of money. But, and again, like, that's almost another day with someone else who hopefully isn't going to ask you for money. That's like, you know, you're treating yourself to a nice semi-casual place. You know, you're on an errand and then you're like,

I got to buy myself a fancy burger. That's a treat yourself lunch kind of money. Yeah, that could be far better spent. And how often do you treat yourself for lunch? Maybe do that instead. Take yourself out on a nice date. I think this is an unhinged thing because I think it makes them look bad. I think it's a complete overstep. I think it's a wild request. And like, you got to look at situations like this and be like, what are the odds that this is it? This is the one time they're asking for one thing, doubtful. This is the pebble that becomes a boulder. Yeah, this is going to be, oh, the uniform is really expensive.

Or I need new, I knew new clothes for the job. Or, you know, I need a bus pass. Can you buy me a bus pass for the month? Got to my interview, but like, I'm really hungry. And now I want to get a nice burger at a semi-casual place. And now that's another 30. You don't want me to tip. It's got to be for, you know, like, no.

And how's she getting back? How's she getting back? She's going to ask you for another $30 to get back? Maybe she factored it in and it was $2.15s, which would make it a little bit more reasonable. Yes, that would make more sense. Yeah. Either way, she knew about this interview. She should be able to find a way to get to the place in which she's going, especially if she had multiple days.

I would get it if like, hey, out of nowhere, this company just called and asked me to come into an interview and I don't have enough time to get there on public transit. But if that was like the gambit, I would still be saying the same thing of being like, it's not a responsibility. No, because again, if that is the case, where are her friends? You're like, oh, she had an adoptive parent who doesn't loan her anything. What's that mean? Whose parents are out here loaning them shit? Like, just maybe she doesn't loan her because she's terrible with money.

You ever think about that? Maybe she's been burned before. Or she constantly is asking for money. Exactly. If she scammed her poor mom who did the nice thing about adopting her? I don't know. Yeah. It's not your responsibility.

And the good thing is this is a really good litmus test for the relationship where you get to say, uh, no, and watch them freak out and then or never speak to you again. And now you know what this was about. Yeah. Honestly, I would be suss about continuing this relationship because I can't imagine that this is a one-off thing. And like, I just think it's such a wild thing to do that like I don't think this is a smoke without fire situation. There's there's fire. Yeah.

There's something to burn in. There's a blaze, a crackling somewhere, and it's going to burn through your wallet. This is from Select Fan, 1869. How to tell my wife I need a break from her demands and suggest that she take over sometimes. I, a male 35, love my wife, female, 34, and our sex life is amazing. A butt. She expects a lot from my performance. She loves rough sex and always wants to be spanked, manhandled, lick, sucks, G spot,

A spot, cervix, every position upside down. and generally just getting her back fully blown out to the point where she's walking funny the next day. I like this too, but I like doing it for her, but she has been wanting this more and more to the point that it's basically every time. I know a lot of this has to do with the fact that I've changed my body and gotten into really great shape so I can throw around more and I have a lot of stamina, but even I have my limits. After a session like that, I'm tired and I usually don't want sex for a day or two. But when I hit all of her spots, she wants it every single day. and I haven't even rehydrated from the last one. Once she brought a friend over,

and I spent two hours giving them 110% to both of them. And the next day, she was so turned on by the experience, she wanted more, but I felt like I needed to sleep in an ice pack. What makes it worse is if we have sex and has a quickie or anything, other than full throttle, she still enjoys it, but she will comment things like, not your A-game, or you can go harder next time. And then she will magically not be interested in sex for a week.

How do I tell her that I appreciate how much she likes rough sex, but sometimes I want to take it a little bit slower or even for her to be the one to take control if for no other reason that it's easier on my body. I'm not going to answer this question. Okay. I'm drawing my line. It's just, this guy's just humble bragging.

Yeah. He's, oh, I give it 110% to women all the time. I'm so good. My wife, like, look, you didn't, you don't want, you don't want a vice. All you wanted was for Dane to read this out on air so that people can go, who's this hot guy? You got to read out the username again,

just so he really, you know, really gets his kudos. This was a select fan at 1869. Well, select fan. Okay, you got a magical dick. No, I find this charming and funny. I do think it's one of those situations where the last line of this question, say that to your partner. Like it's, I do love the people like, God, it's got to like, what do I do? And it's like, look, what do is?

How do I tell my partner is this specific exact thing? Yeah. Do that, maybe? Try that. it just be like, hey, like, I have been really enjoying, like, we've been going at it lately. You know, the time you brought a friend over was really fun. The fact that you're, like, really enjoying this, I fucking love it. Obviously, because I'm going to town 110% on you.

But, like, genuinely, I'm putting into work. And, like, I'm fucking wrecked. And, like, sometimes I'm just not feeling it the next day or whatever. And you can just be like, we can do those things. We can't do this all the time. And also just be like, I don't appreciate if we have a quickie or whatever. Because again, presumably there's some kind of agreement with these quickies or whatever. Or is it just sometimes you're like, do, do, do, do, bye.

Because then maybe she is disappointed because she's not been kind of like communicated to that that's what's happening. So it says that like she enjoys it. True. But other than full throttle. Yeah. So it's not just quickies either. Okay. It's like if it's sex with, without the, you know, theatrics.

Be like, hey, I don't really appreciate when you kind of like say stuff like that because it, you know, it's kind of mean. Or like, it makes me feel bad, you know. I can't do it a million percent of the time every time. I mean, it's like if someone was expecting roses on the bed and like candles and music and like a slow, it's like if that was how you had sex every single time, you just wouldn't have sex very often because the amount of prep and the amount of whatever that would go into it. So try to talk to her and then just say, look, I do so much for you and I love it. But like, you know, I want X, Y or Z.

Would you be willing to put in the work too? And if they are a good partner, they will understand, hopefully. Yeah, I think the other thing is like, sex is a very physical thing. And it is when you're doing it the way that you are doing it, a full body workout. It is cardio. It is presumably you're leaning and nailing and standing and thrusting and holding and lifting. Like, you're essentially doing a fucking crossfit workout with your partner as the giant tire that they are always throwing around and cross-flip them up and you got to. Yeah, right?

So it's like, explain it. if she doesn't still understand, be like, when we fuck like this, it's, it's the equivalent of me doing a two hour workout or a one hour intense cardio and not just hit. Oh, so I'm like a tire. I'm heavy and I'm round. I'm rubbery. Good. Maybe she'll, I don't know, start working out or something. No, but I'm like, you know, be like, even in high intensity training, there's, there's intervals in which we get to stop. I don't get to stop. It's just. it's just high intensity. It's just hit with one eye.

There's two eyes in hit workout and one of them is intervals. Yeah. So it's like when I'm when I do that, the next day I'm exhausted and I'm sore and it's like I understand you're sore in a different way. I'm sore in a muscle workout way. So in order to think that I could operate on that level all the time is just physically unfair to me as a person and a human being with a mortal body. just in case she doesn't understand the like things that Nile has said as well in the sense of like, you know, just laying out the emotional side of things and being like, I would also like a break sometimes.

But I assume if you are this sore and this dehydrated everything, you're fucking going. And just relate it back to like when I go to the gym and I do a really big workout. I don't go back to the gym the next day and do a really big workout of the same muscle group. That's how you hurt yourself. That's how yeah. That's how things become undembourged. pleasant and unenjoyable.

And so it's like, it's the same way. When we have a big fuck out, it's tough. Love that. You know, actually I don't love that because it sounds like cookouts are inherently kind of grimy, right? Like, you're not having a cookout and fine dining. No, but like their cookouts are, yeah, they are. You're in a cookout with the boys from your,

you get like firing a trash can. You know, like, it's a hundred percent. No one's having a cookout in the fine dining place. No, but it's like a family. barbecue. Yeah, families, grimy. There's kids, sneezing on everything. Like, there's an element of, of grime. There's over, there's uncut grass. No one's been out here. Perhaps, not grime. At the very least, at the very best, casual. You're telling me those scenes in Fast and the Furious where they're sitting out in the garage or on the parking lot? You think food safety has been

applied in any part of that cooking? No. You don't know that. Dom has a, has a certification, his food handling and knife handling certification. He is a grill master. He would never handle a knife. He just uses his fists. It's like that machine that he wanted to see how fast or how many slaps it would take to cook. That's the thing. That's how he cooks the chicken,

but then he's got fucking chicken particles everywhere. That's why his fists are so deadly when he punches the enemies because it's just pure salmonella. Yeah. So just tell her, just tell her you need a break and that it's stupid to expect that level of intensity. all of the time.

And even, like, there's so many aspects that. So I think break it down, like, break it down into the issues you have. Like, the snide remarks, the lack of, you know, like the lack of attention on you, the amount of physicality. And I also just think it's a very fair thing to not want to have sex the same way all the time. Yeah. Even if it rolls were reversed and it was like, oh, we have like beautiful, romantic, loving sex. And it's just like, that would get boring if that was all you did, you know? It's the same way if, like, if you only did one position.

If you only did X, Y, and Z, like, if it was the same thing all the time, always kiss, hug, undress, blowy, sit up, straddle. It just, and on top of this, you should know two things. One, you should be able to talk to your partner. So it is a bit of a, a bit of a sad affair that you've come to us, which we get it. You have to. And, you know, that's how we make our living. But it sucks that you've come to ask a very simple question, which is how do I communicate with my partner? You should be able to do that.

Two, you should know that you're allowed not to have sex when you don't want to. So, like, it's worrying that's gone to this point of like, oh, I keep having sex when I don't want to. Next time you're tired, just say, oh, man, like, I'm bracked. You know, my back is sore from yesterday. We're like, oh, I'm just not in the mood because you are allowed to do that. Yeah. You know, and I think that's another thing that, like, there's so many issues. We have even even discussed that.

It's like, you can say no any single time you want and should. And it's funny. I wonder if, like, where he's like, oh, if I do look a quickie or whatever. and then she's magically not interested anymore. Like, I wonder if that's her thinking she's punishing him of withholding sex for a week. Yeah. Which is funny because in this case, he's like, oh, thank God. Thank God.

I could take a protein shake and start recover a little bit. Like, because it seems strange. That was going to be my joke advice was like, do a really good session. Then the next day, just have a small one. Then you get a week break. But it does sound like he is disappointed those times, right? So it's like, obviously your libido is. not there. So it just, it frustrates me that you have this kind of like wheel or woe. It's like it's,

it's either way too much or way too little. So I think you can, you can find this mark, but to do so, got to communicate. And like, you can meet in a middle and compromise and be like when it's, you know, we can have sex in a sort of normal pace and a normal fashion. And then when it's time for you to like me to finish you off or give you a couple of your own, then I'll take you to pound town. Give you a couple of your own. Right. That's how you speak at the cookout. Yeah.

Dane slinging sausages across the garbage can fire. Okay. But you can mix and match. You don't need to be full intensity, high intensity, the whole time. You can be like, all right. Like, we're near on the end of the show. We're going to crank it up to 11 for you for the next, you know, five minutes, 10 minutes, whatever. And that's a nice little compromise.

But I think the really important thing. What? Compromise. compromise. I think the really important thing is, and we've just touched it a little bit, is the like the comments, uh, that sucks so much to, I mean, there's one thing about being like, you could go harder where it's like, yeah, obviously you like it rough. There's like, there's no, I don't wait. What? The rough sex that throws my back out for a full, like, calendar week is something you enjoy. Really? Yeah. Like, I don't think you need to tell this man that

you enjoy rough sex. If this is, if this man is in shambles. physical shambles after having it. It's like a fucking cast member from the Walking Dad after you guys go to Poundown, yeah. It's like, yeah, I think we all figured that out. And they're like, not your A game.

It's like, hey, maybe that was for me. Maybe I enjoyed that. And it's, it's, that sucks. If my partner said that, I would call them out almost immediately. Oh, 100%. But especially, the fuck you mean.

Especially because it is a, a misjudgment of, again, intent. It's like you weren't trying for those big days and failing. You were doing a different thing. So it's like to be like, well, you didn't do this. It's like cooking someone's sausages at the cook out and they're like, this burger is not great. It's not a burger. Yeah, not your best burger. Yeah, dude, it's a fucking bratwurst. What the fuck, what do you mean? Exactly. So it's like that's the wild part. So communicate. Communicate. Please. Please. Please. This is by Accomplished East 666. I'm I the asshole for lying to my husband about the best I ever had?

I just got married recently. She's 26 female. My husband and I got more comfortable talking about the exes. I guess it's just time, comfort, and having talked through just about everything. We also live out in the boondocks now, so there's always a whole lot of nothing going on. The other night, he asked me about the best I ever had. Right away, I thought of a vacation fling I had that was just extremely memorable. It was in a different country and disparaged the details, the stuff of romance novels.

And I mean that in the way that was also lacking any real substance. Before I answered, he said it was me, not even close, and brought up some memories from our early relationship. I knew my answer, but it didn't feel right to disagree, so I just went with it. I said, yeah, me too, and brought up a different trip we'd taken. I didn't feel bad at all in the moment, but then later he brought it up again, saying the name of the place, the one I said, and I felt a twinge of guilt. And now I'm hoping he drops it, which is making me think maybe this wasn't really that innocent of a lie. Am I the asshole?

You are not the asshole. The question of, and I think we talked about this. recently. The question of, am I the biggest? Am I the best? What's your best? What's the biggest? You know, who like any of those things are traps and are not there to learn anything. No one is asking these questions. And there's a reason why he fired his answer out quickly, right? There's a reason he fired his answer out first. Yeah. Because specifically to put you in the position of if you say anything other than him, you will feel like an asshole, regardless of how honest. honest you are. Let's play this out. Hey, like, what was your, what was your best time? Mine was yours.

And it was amazing. You're so romantic and you're my everything. Yeah, mine was Raoul. Mine was Raul in Barcelona. And he, he, he couldn't walk for a week after he blew my back out. He touched my A spot. Yeah. I'm, we both absolutely bedridden for weeks after the first time. Yeah, you can't, you can't ask these questions, especially. I mean, like, you can't. I guess, Like, like, I could ask my partner this and I would expect an honest answer. And I, because I think she would know that I would not give a fuck if it wasn't me. Right. If she was like, yeah, it was. But we also know, look at our awards.

It is us. That's the real reason you'd be confident asking. Yeah. I'm sick of these questions and I'm sick of specifically, man. There was a great video I watched with our good friend therapy, Jeff, recently where he was like, He's been popping off lately, and I love it. Yeah, man. TherapyGF is in a era of full attack mode.

And I fucking love it. I feel like it's been bubbling up. And then he was just one day, was like, you know what? Actually, fuck this. And he's now just spewing bare facts, honestly. So, yeah, I'm here for it. I haven't seen a single thing I disagree with yet. No, no.

But his whole point being like, you, the men have this sort of like weird fixation on the other men. in women's lives. He does accuse men of being gay. And, you know, again, I can't argue with it because he is talking clinically in terms of like obsession and sexual desire and stuff of being like, you have like created a fantasy man that you, when you think of, when you envision, is this like 6'4 chiseled jaw line, jacked man that you called Chad. Pung boy, yeah.

Yeah. Like you, when you think of this man in your, your girlfriend's past, you think of like the things that threaten you the most, right? You think of like a big attractive man who's good at fucking piano or whatever. Like just just one of those things where it's like you, you construct this like perfect threat to your masculinity. And so now you've created this handsome man that you can never compete with. And then he was like, and then, you know, they, you sort of like ripple it back and be like, oh, if they have daddy issues. He's like, and now you're calling another man, Daddy. And it's a great bit.

It's a great video. Go follow therapy, Jeff. He's fantastic. Or listen to our episode we previously did with them. Yeah. Or both. It's very true in the sense of like, men are constantly looking for ways to,

sorry, insecure men are constantly looking for ways to erase and eradicate the existence of men in their partners past. And this is the. like cheesy, shitty way to do it of being like, am I the best or what is your best? Knowing that most likely they're going to spare your ego to say, yes, you were. And then all of a sudden, you know, the handsome man becomes a little less clear. He's a little foggy. He's a little more boring.

Now he doesn't play piano anymore. Exactly. Yeah, especially because he didn't even have the confidence to follow through with the question before being like, my best is you. Yeah. Yes. It's weird. But again,

we've said this. Do not ask for things you don't want to hear the answer to or things you only want to hear one specific answer to, right? Because presumably there's more than you. So that's one versus X. X could be any number. And the odds are against you, my friend. Don't ask things you don't want to hear the answer to.

Now I will say, this person is feeling guilty. I don't know why you need to feel guilty, right? What you've said hasn't hurt them. It's a white lie. It doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. But the guilt makes me think that you're considering opening up, like, being like, actually, look, I lied. It was Raoul. Yeah.

You can't go back. Don't do that. Don't do that. This doesn't matter, right? That's the good thing. It's like, this does not matter at all. This is your husband. So presumably you want to make this person happy and you love this person.

So you've made a little white lie that made him feel better. Maybe he shouldn't have asked the question. Maybe it was a weird situation. But like, can we fault people from being? and secure every now and then. We cannot. So you've done a nice thing. It does not matter. Again, importantly, does not matter. So he made a mistake by asking the question. You made a mistake by twisting the truth a little bit. Or you did the right thing by twisting the truth. And here's the thing. You didn't technically lie. You chose to marry this person. So despite the fact that maybe

you had a more, there is a memorable sexual encounter in your past that stands out to you, you still decided to marry this person and hopefully, you know, spend your life with this person. So is that not an indicator of best for you? This is, this is, right? So like, we just got to wiggle the, wiggle the goalposts a little bit. And all you did, you said the truth, right? Yeah. You saw the truth, right?

You thought, oh, maybe it's just a, but actually, no. And you did, you did admit that while it was the stuff of romance novels, you also said had no substance. No substance. I'm like, how could it be the best with no substance? Maybe it was very fun. Not marriage material. Fuck, Raoul. Again.

The one thing I want to another point I want to make is you can't look at this and say like, oh, well, his answer was really romantic. It's like, well, it wasn't again. So if he wanted to like there's there's no harm in sharing that information. If he had just, if you guys were just talking about something and, and, you know, it came up and he said, you know, you're actually the best of ever. That's fine. That's really sweet.

But when you phrase it in a way that requires a call and response. almost to something like this, then it feels manipulative and it feels cheap, right? Because for all she knows, now she's thinking and wondering and insecure and being like, well, was he just saying that so that he could hear me say it back to him? Like, there's no reason to believe him any more than he believes you. Exactly. Exactly. When it's, when this information is revealed this way. Exactly. It would be different if like, you know, you guys were cuddling after sex and he says like, you're the best sex I've ever had in my life. That's nice. That's sweet. he's not asking for anything in return. He's just paying you a compliment. He's letting you know.

Yeah. But the second you add in the like, am I the best? That all of a sudden, it all gets washed into what do you want? As opposed to thank you for telling me this. Yeah. And that's again, which is why it doesn't matter because like he doesn't need to know the truth. He doesn't want to know the truth. Him not knowing the truth doesn't change anything. It's just kind of a nothing. Like even if you guys were both like, oh, was somebody else? Like where do you guys go from there? Like unless it then turns into a conversation of like, oh, why isn't this the best? What can we do to make it better? It's not a good, you're not going anywhere. You're just getting upset. So don't ask these fucking questions when you don't want to hear the answer.

Don't do it. Just don't do it. And don't tell them now. Just don't. Yeah, nothing is going to be gained here. Because like there's no world in which he will ever find out about this instance and ever know that it was as good as it was. Unless he knows your Reddit account or to listen to the show. yeah

uh-oh uh-oh speaking from nugget war this is I want my boyfriend to do missionary more my boyfriend

should really be making this post but whenever we have sex we can't do missionary because he says he hurts his wrist too much he lasts for a couple minutes and then just buckles

but he's not exactly weak or anything so I wanted to see if there's anything to maybe help him stay up maybe he could be doing or maybe he's doing it

wrong or he has his hands in the wrong place I could really use some help. It's my favorite position and it feels more intimate than others like doing it from behind. What fuck's he doing with his wrists? I mean, look, I get it. I have really bad wrists. I can't stay in a plank push-up position while thrusting for very long.

It hurts. So you know what I do? I get out my fucking forearms. Yeah. Or stand. You don't need to be on your, like, I honestly feel like it's probably the worst way to do it is just to be like planking straight armed down. It's nice. sometimes. And they're like, again, by all means, but a whole, a little bit more view. But it's like,

I guess. You can also like, you could be like kneeling. Yeah. Whether or whether let you, right? Like, that's a way you still get the sort of like great view. If anything, you get a better view. You get better. Your hands are free. So you can be doing anything. Exactly. See, that's, that's kind of where I'm at. I'm more on the bad end or the lying down end, not the planking in the middle end. Yeah. I mean, like, I, I see the, the, the uses of all. of all of them. The point here being, there is this entire fucking,

you know, triangle or what's the fucking protractor of angles that you could use? And like, I don't understand why he's just doing the one is my main point. Here's what I'm thinking.

He doesn't like it and wants to only do do doggie. And therefore he's like, oh, it hurts my wrist. Let's do do doggie. And is discounting his partner's preference of pleasure. Which is why we're here to give you alternate ways for him to do it,

to back him into a fucking, corner so we have to fucking communicate or you've got to fucking suffer through it. My elbows, no, they're made of elbows are so strong, bro. Except for mine. Unless you guys are having sex I have bartender's elbow now. But even then, it's not stopping you, is it? If I can

fuck with my mangled toe and you can fuck with your mangled elbow, this man can fuck with his weak-ass wrists, okay? Go down. You're gonna go down. He even doesn't like, you can even do almost like a lying on them thing. You don't even need to really support yourself much. You could like literally put your hands up over there, like, behind.

their head. Superman. Exactly. Like, it's weird. But if my part, like, if I had,

even if I had to like loop, limp little like noodles, the side of my arm and I'm just lying down like a dead fish on top of them. If that's what they're into, if that's what they're enjoying, if that's what they want, I'll fucking do it. I don't care.

Yeah. I might feel a little silly and it might really not do all, check all the boxes for me. But I'm happy to help. I'm happy to take. Now it's my time. So yes, I try different angles. Get him to sit back on his like, you know, haunches.

Get him to go down a little bit, either leaning on his elbows or just like fully like almost lying on top of you. These all free up the hands too. So now he's got one for your clip. Maybe you're like ass. Maybe your boobs. Like pull your hair, whatever the fuck you're into. These are all good things. But there's just a world of movement in missionary that you can shake things up.

So. And I understand. Like I'm going to say like just throw it in there as well. well, it's like standing is also an option. It's still missionary if you're on the edge of the bed. I understand that based on what she is saying, it sounds like she wants the closeness of. So it's like being up might not be the vibe that she wants.

Sure, but then you're going to get more closeness if you're down in Elbow City. Yeah. Right? And then you get to kiss. You get to do a bunch of shit. So like it's so easy that you need to be like, I think aware. Because what Dane said earlier is I think a very real possibility. when you introduce these things,

is it just going to be another complaint? Is it just going to be another this, another that? And then maybe just talk to them and be like, hey, feels like you just don't like this whole process at all. Is it just that you only want to do do doggie or something being like, hey, I'm trying to fix these and you just keep shooting down

all these ideas like what's really going on here. And it's like, we can do do doggie. If that's how you want to finish, we can we can doggie it up. But like, I'd like a little, I'd like a little missionary time as well. And if, again, if someone has a problem with that, if someone is bitching and moaning

and complaining that they don't get to do the only position that they want to do the whole time, then they're a bad sexual partner. And hopefully you can have that conversation and open their eyes to the problem, be like, hey, it's unfair that we only get to do and only have to do the thing that you like

and I don't get to do anything that I like. This seems a little one-sided, don't you? And if they don't see that and they don't want to fix that, then maybe it's time to move on to someone who has stronger wrists. Yeah, someone who's literally going to be like, I want to do what I like all the time, and therefore you get what you like, never.

That's bad. And if they can't understand that or don't care, why the hell would you want to be in bed with this person? Yeah. Yeah, it's that simple. This is still living three to one, blow jobs, and how long to give them. I'm in a situation ship.

So I don't forever. Yeah, it's true. That's it. Well, it's going to be us for the week. I'm in a situation ships. Don't full comfortable open communication just yet. still a little shy. I've only been in two serious relationships before and this is my first hookup partner. I was tipsy last night, gave him an hour long blow job. It wasn't like

pointless sucking. I sucked his dick and kept trying to focus on the nerve areas. Deep throw occasionally. I felt a little bad because I couldn't keep up a fast pace for long because I was getting dizzy from the motion. Kept doing a lot different tongue motions and massaging. It was messy. He wasn't circumcised. So I focused a lot right below head. I think that's what feels good, right? He kept saying, oh God, oh fuck. Said that he didn't know I like sucking dick this much. Told me every time he was close, I'd stop, so he was going to end up nutting a lot. But he didn't give me praise if I was doing good job or not, lull, or what he liked, or to keep doing, which is what I'm used to for my past relationship. So I was winging it. He told me he wanted to nut all over my face,

so he beat it till he did, but you only took less than him in. I'm not used to guys having to beat it and finish. So I'm wondering if I did even a good job. I know I'm porn they beat to nut on the girl, but that's for visual. Anyways, is giving an edge blowjob for an hour bad? Or in tipsy state, did I fuck up? Just wondering if I should avoid getting tipsy next time. so I can actually keep a fast pace and make it around 510 mins, or if this might have been a good thing. I guess I could give it a time we'll tell if he does hit me up again soon or not, crying face.

Oh, man. Jeez. Look, to remove her. This sounds like a very hot encounter. Hopefully, when you say tipsy, you don't mean like blackout. Like,

hopefully you just had a little fun buzz. Like that's my only concern is what your definition of tipsy is. Because I find that some people do use. tipsy for like an equivalent Everything short of being blackout. Yeah. Yeah. So like that's my only thing.

Some other things to take into account. Was he also drinking? Was he also tipsy? Because that will also kind of like mess with the flow of things. But there's a lot of stuff here that like I think you just need to go back and reread of the sense of being like him being like, oh God, I'm going to come multiple times. Yeah. He said, oh God.

Oh, fuck. And then she's like, he never said if it was good. Yeah, I think you're doing all right. If someone was giving me a sloppy, enthusiastic blowjob for an hour, I mean, I don't- I feel like I would get bored after, like, I wouldn't last an hour either way. Either I would completely be finished or I'd be like, I gotta go do something. Yeah, like, but I mean, like, maybe it was just great, you know what I mean? Like, maybe they were both in just sort of a blowjob fugue state where it just felt so good

and, like, Tom passed. Well, he's looking at his watch. He's going, I didn't know you like to convict this much. Yeah. And that's another comment I feel like you were really into it, is my guess. If like someone's saying that, I'm like, you were going fucking turbo mode. And I think maybe your insecurity and your lack of confidence in this scenario, I think kind of shot you in the foot where you were probably, every time we was like, oh, I'm going to come. You probably did the typical dude move and switched it up. Well, changed it up. That's the part that I think this question. kind of hinges on because she says, and I'm not really sure what this means, he told me every time he was close, I'd stop so he was going to end up nutting a lot. I don't know if he asked her to stop or if she decided to stop or if she just stopped. And there's a comment that she made being like, oh, I kept trying to, but like I kind of had to keep stopping. And it's like, well, that might then

explain why he didn't like finish, right? Yeah. So it sounds like it feels like you have all the answers. He laid them out really reasonably. He's probably somewhat drunk. You kept stopping. He gave you all this praise, clearly loved it. And when you're like, oh, he jacked himself off at the end. It took less than a minute. Yeah, because he was almost there.

So you've done a good job. He was ready to go. And it's like him jacking off. If he wanted to come on your face, the best way to make that happen is if he has control over where it's going and when, which, you know, so that's kind of a understandable way for him to finish it. and like you got him back close and he clearly liked it. So I don't know where the fear is coming from.

Let's let's be honest. People want to come on people's faces because of porn. That is a porn induced sort of like visual, right? So to mimic the, to want to do the thing that happens when it happens in porn, it's not unreasonable to understand why he would go to finish himself off in order to do it. You guys are mimicking a sort of porn-centric act as, long as you were cool with it, which you seemed you were, you were excited and hot, like,

cool. Um, yeah, I think you need to take a deep breath. I think maybe limiting the alcohol you have for the next time is a good idea just to sort of check in and make sure that you, you, you weren't going, you know, crazy because of your inebriated state. Um, but I don't think you need to focus on like the, the thing of being like, I was changing things up and every three seconds. I was doing something new.

And I was like, just chill out. I don't think it's quite the same as with women where like men don't specifically need like, oh, keep it the one way. But there's still an element of that, especially if something starts to feel good and then you change it. You're like, oh, okay. Like, I think there's still an element. I don't think it's quite as important as with a woman. But like, you can't just go crazy on it. Yeah.

Especially like I find specifically for me with blow jobs is, is yes, once you found the thing that's feeling really good, I don't. want you to change anything. I don't want it faster. I don't want to deeper. I don't want to. And there is a sort of impulse that I found with a lot of people where it's like the second it's like they want to start going like deep and get and it's like that's nice and feels great. But that's not what was doing. Yeah. Yeah. And so I think like and you say yourself, you're stopping. The second you stop, the meter goes, it starts going down again. And she also said she couldn't go fast. So sometimes fast can be the thing that gets you there. And it seemed like she would try to go fast and stop and do stuff. So like everything you're saying makes sense. And I will finish with just

one more thing where she does say a lot of stuff where she feels like she failed because he had to jack himself off. But she does say, I don't know, I've heard guys like being edged. So it sounds like she went out of her way to edge him, which I think is a weird thing to do for a first time without prior communication. Yeah. Right? So you also can't be like he didn't come. Also, I wouldn't let him come.

But also he did come. But also he did come. Yeah. It took so long, but I made it take so long. Like, you're getting upset at the things you have specifically set out to do. And it also, like, if we want to zoom out for a bit and kind of like strip the insecurities away, it does seem like both of you had a good time. It does seem like you both enjoyed what you were doing.

and you both found it hot. So this is a fun experience that happened. You don't need to replicate it if you didn't. Like if this seems like a lot, yes. It is. Do I as someone who enjoys blow jobs want an hour blowjob every time? No, I don't. I do not want that.

But, you know, if it impromptu spur of the moment happens and it feels great and it's the person, sperm of the moment is, you know, if the person doing it is like, really into it and very enthusiastic. And like, yeah, maybe I, maybe I like, it's just one of those things from like, this happened. We didn't plan it. I don't think I'd want it again unless it happened sort of like spur of the moment again. Like sperm of the moment.

Sperm of the moment. But just take the things. Someone doesn't have to say, you are doing a really good job for you to know you're doing good job. Oh God and oh fuck unless he's looking outside at like a mushroom cloud in the distance. are getting to be about your performance. And also him constantly being like, you're going to make me nuts so much.

Yeah. Also probably a sign that you're doing a good job. I think the problem here is you were in your head for a number of reasons. You, you know, you were with, I think she said an uncircumcised dude for the first time. Right.

So there was a new element in, in your sex life that you were thinking about. You were tipsy. You were trying not to get dizzy from motion. Like there was a new person. Yeah, there's a lot of things happening here. And I think you need to take a breath. You need to take a moment and just be like, hey, we did it.

It all worked out. I, you know, I enjoyed it. He enjoyed it. He came. I don't need to feel weird about it. It's fine. And even look, don't, this is just a blanket statement. If someone has to manually stimulate themselves to get over the finish line, that is not a failure on your part.

It is a collaborative experience. If, right, it's the same way where, like, dudes get upset. if a woman rubs her clit while she's being cluck. Or use a vibrator or something. What are you doing? Shut the fuck up. Let them come however they need to come. Especially when alcohol is involved.

Yeah. So you're good. You're good. Take a breath. Yeah. You're good. I think this was a very fun thing that I think you're overanalyzing and freaking out a little bit. Yeah.

There's no way he was like, oh, and I had to finish myself off. He was like, I had the best night of my life. Yeah. Yeah. He got a great sloppy, blowjob from someone who's enthusiastic and then you came all over her face. Yeah, the best fucking time.

You're good. That's gonna do it, and we love you. Is it? Thanks for coming along. We are gonna be at the Canadian podcast awards booth,

I believe, on Friday at Toronto Comic-Con. Friday, 4-7, Toronto Comic-Con. We will be technically no quest for the wicked, but you know us sneaky boys. We're gonna sneak in.

We're gonna secretly also be fuck buddies and we're not gonna tell them because we got banned for being too hot. We're too sexy for Toronto Comic-Con. So, you know, this is actually true. Yeah, that is true. We were asked not to be fuck buddies while we're there because it's, it's too sexy. It's too sexy.

So if you come by and you slip us the code word, which is, are you guys fuck buddies? We'll say yes, very quietly. Yeah, we can't be fuck buddies, but a teenage boy can walk around with a shirt that says, don't bully me or all come. That's fine. How is that okay? Yeah. And all the sexy cosplayers?

I'm sorry, they're all hotter than we are. Oh, don't know. Yeah, it's so true. It's so true. There's that full grown man who dresses up like Sailor Moon. He knows what he's doing. There's that one guy who looks exactly like Tony Stark. Yep.

Yeah. But yeah, so if you're around, come along. If not, if you're not around, don't worry. There's a online booth called Patreon where you can find us and you can come and say hi to us and you can give us money and you'll get, we should tally up the amount of hours at this point. There's a fuck ton of hours. I believe it's 48.

48 hours. That's two straight days of listening to us. Two full days. Two full days. That's insane, right? If you sleep a solid eight hours, you'll get like three days out of that, pretty much. You know what I mean? If you eat lunch, four days. You know what I mean? We're welcome. You're welcome. You can't listen to a podcast and eat lunch. No, God, no. If you're doing that, hey, if you're eating lunch right now, you need to stop one of this. They will find you. Or than lunch. They don't let it happen. No. We love you. So please join us on Patreon, support the show. Tell a friend. Like, subscribe, comment, share, find us on social media. The whole gamut. There's a lot of ways support us and we appreciate every time you do it. Dan, are you ready? Yeah. She considered him, her head tilted sideways. Those eyes seemed almost to weigh him to look deep inside them.

They made Nile uncomfortable. He still held his sword in his big right hand and he told himself that he could get close enough to this woman. He would bury it steel in her throat. Do you know who I am? She asked softly. So sorry, I thought I. Alarm and amazement came into her features. She swung her legs forward off the cattle fack

And stood upon the stone floor Her breasts rose and fell As though to deep emotion Those goddamn emotional boobs Is this your fanfic Someone wrote this about the show Apparently I give off a vibe of wanting to stab women Constantly bury your steel

And they, hey, they did get your giant right hand That one huge right hand Look at it Look at it. That's crazy, dude. That's huge. Yeah. This is both of them.

This is both of them. Wait, now's got just, yeah. Ignore that. We love to. Now it's got a giant right hand and it's terrifying every time I see it. It's true. My name is Day Miller.

And I'm Nal Spain. We've been your fuck buddies.