F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Tactical Wake Up

Episode Date: September 1, 2025

RPG!!!!

I put my trust in you and then I trust in love. Hello friends. My name is Day Miller. And I'm the Al Spain. And we're your fuck buddies. Welcome to the closet. We're here. We are a sex and dating advice podcast where you're you take your sexy, sexy, sticky situations. Oh, see, it's not, it turns into sexy, sticky situations. So easy, is it? It's not so easy because I started talking was like,

oops, I skipped your part. And then instead of doing my part, accidentally did your part. Now you got to do my part. Simply put, we're a sex and dating advice podcast where we take your questions and answer them, where we find them roaming in the wilds and from our dirty, sticky

listeners. See? It is easy, isn't it? I don't know why we did the intro backwards, but we're back in the closet. It's early and we're in the closet. Do you usually, no, I usually sit in this side. Yeah. It's crazy. Well, guys, this week we're going to talk about the tactical wake-up seduction method.

Refusing to sleep in a bed due to sexual history. Fiance tracked my location to do a pop-up. And has intubated, ruined my life. Cinterbated? Yeah. Okay. What do you think the tactical wake-up seduction method is? This is unfair because we've recorded this all right? Don't let them know. Yeah. We tried to record this episode the other day and a computer said no. Yeah. I mean, internet said no. Yeah. We all have to be very specific. Uh, we do. We're coming for you. Riverside. You're naming them no. Dave. We love Riverside. Riverside did it. Everyone goofs it every now and then. But you know what? We love them a little less right now. Yeah. Yeah. Put that in your pipe and smoke at Riverside CEO. Yeah. We want reparations. Uh, yeah, we tried to do this. And

Riverside was just like, we won't actually. So, yeah, we may have said the next one minute and 30 seconds before, kind of ish, but yeah, they wouldn't have known if you hadn't told them. It's true, but I don't like lying. They come to us for honesty, and I want to be transparent. He's winking and crossing his fingers as he says all of this. Well, do you want to just skip the part where we talk about what we thought it was? Yeah, I mean, no, look, when we first did this, that's how I'm going to, I thought it was

like a call of duty style slide like slide cancel out of bed like you wake up and you're already you're plating and also sliding and reloading at the same time really going into the tactical part yeah a sick like 360 no scope into the closet to grab your wardrobe maybe like you just you have like a voice clip from one of the missions where it's like you got to get in there and you got to not let anybody stop you yeah you know exfil on the rooftop and then you kind of like forget that part when you're at the nightclub. Waking up in the AO. Yeah.

R.B.G. Yeah. Just to hype you up in the morning, kind of like your affirmations. I thought it was going to be like a question we covered ages ago where somebody woke up very early, like went to bed early, woke up before clubs closed and like went in fresh. Like first thing they did when they woke up was go to a 4 a.m. club to like be a fucking freak.

Yeah. I thought it was going to be that. I realized that like now where we're going in our careers, especially with the things that happening with NoQuest that like voice acting in video games isn't off the table. Like I feel like that is like be your tactical wake up. I'm like I want to be the guy who yells RPG in a military game. Yeah for sure. Like nothing else. I don't need credit. I don't need anything. I just want to be the guy that just you'll take James credit. RPG. Uh, and that be used. I want to be like the Wilhelm scream of guy who yells RPG. I could be a guy that yells

a thing. I feel like that's firmly under my talent. Yeah. It would be fun to do. like just the like, I want to be the guys just like, huh, nothing's here. You know,

when like someone got murdered in front of you walk over and you're like, wait a minute. And then like, this is all fine. You leave your friend dead in the dirt. Must have been the wind.

Must have the wind must have fucking shot my friend. I hate the wind. But no, this is by Anthony 71. 7010. Tactical wake up seduction method. What's up, gentlemen?

27. Still technically a virgin. I've spent the last decade studying seduction like it's a science. While other guys were wasting time, on trial and error, I was investing in the real knowledge. I've been through blank, blank, blank, I'm not going to promote shitty pickup artists.

And I've cross-referenced them with psychology textbooks and neuroscience studies. I don't just practice pickup. I understand the mechanics of attraction. So here's something I call the tactical wake-up call. The principle is simple, but powerful. When you first interact with the girl, don't give her energy. Present us tired, distracted, low effort. Tell her you can hardly keep your eyes open.

She subconsciously registers a lack of simulation. Her brain begins craving it. Then, when you choose, you flip the switch. Suddenly you're fully present, locked in, interested. The contrast slams her limbic system. Dopamine release, oxytocin priming, heightened reward circuitry. She associates the chemical spike with you. I call it microtrauma bonding.

It's basically conditioning her nervous system to see you as the source of relief after tension. Use it wisely. There's a lot of things that I like about this question. Very quickly. Do you think we could blend what we were saying before? And that is when you wake up and you're locked in, it's because you're yelling. RPG. Yeah. Yeah. That's the micro trauma bond is your alarm has been set to various like Battlefield 6 cries of of various forms of assault. And speaking of assault, there's a few things in here that that tickled me. The I understand seduction. I've studied it. I know everything about it. Still technically a virgin. One, I love that technically a virgin.

is like the seduction like tagline where it's like all these men who haven't actually had sex but know everything about it or like or like have these I'm like because like for me it's a wild move to come in and be like this is the science behind it I haven't gotten it to work well but look at Einstein huh did he get the thing to do before he studied no he did the thing after studying what the hell are you talking about all scientists they study theory until You can't do the thing and then know about it. You have to know about it to do the thing. Yeah, but the difference here is...

Other people have done the thing. Not even that is he was a physicist. He was doing physics. He was doing science, right? Well, this guy is a psychologist, a neurosurgeon. Which is fine. But also, not... He's technically still a virgin, meaning he's dabbled in other sexual things.

Yeah, he's done sex. He's a sex boy. Yeah. That's like the guy who's... like, I've read the commissueger, so I'm practically not a virgin. Genuinely could be the same person. Yeah. I also love the, like, well, you were out doing this.

I study, it's real like I studied the blade. Yeah. You know? And the thing is, I thought it was a piss take, but I'm going through the comments and his response and everything, and I don't think it is. Or he's just playing it so straight that it's, you know what I mean? Yeah. But half the comments were replying to it are genuine.

Actually, like, 75% are genuine. 25% are like, is this, uh, are you taking the piss? They're not sure either. So, yeah, I mean, look, if your move, if your cool, sweet romance move is using the terms slam their brain. Like a wrestling match? Yeah. Bad. Right off the bat.

Just bad. If you're then coining the phrase micro trauma bonding, probably also not great because, like, trauma bonding. Not good. Is something that happens naturally sometimes. with things right like sometimes that just that's a thing that happens like you're working the service industry yes everyone can trauma bond over you know mother's day brunch we're not going to talk about that uh but if you're acting like other than that like it's widely regarded to not try to trauma bond with someone early on in relationship because like

it gives a skewed idea of like who you are as a person it makes it seem like that's also like or thing i think the point of trauma bonding is that like a thing outside of your control happening and you just get closer as a result. Yeah. So this you know, it's almost like, oh, I paid someone to run someone over in the street so me and her could get closer. Yeah, yeah. No, no. The trauma part should not be a thing you

fabricate or manufacture. Yes. Or seek out. It should be not, you should want a life without trauma. Yeah. As much as possible. And if your your whole gambit is about traumatizes this woman. Yeah. Like, hey girl, I'm a slam your

limbic system. Like simulating. trauma also bad. Also, let's be fair. We're moved to be like, I'm such a sleepy boy. I just, hold on.

I mean, like, I can't imagine anybody, like I know, okay, you hit me weird things. I know what you're going to say.

I do think that this has the quote unquote potential to work. Obviously, if you do it as cartoonishly as, as your, that's what he said. I can't even keep my eyes open. Like,

but I do. think that like it's it's the same as like it's essentially gaslighting right like yeah and it's essentially it's like a mixture of gaslighting and love bombing right yeah so it's it's it's taking too really yeah it's like taking two really shitty concepts of like manipulation and it's like infinity gotlet of shitty things the stone of nagging we've got the stone of gaslighting we have you know the love bombing and yeah it's like that's the that's the trouble with this right is I think it is rooted in things that would work for someone with a low enough self-esteem or a low enough sort of self-worth. If you find the right person to simulate the idea of like, oh, my presence has like changed this person.

Like they're so, me being around them and talking to them have like, it's completely changed. And I have that power. Or even like, oh, this person's not into me. Wait, I did something. Yeah. And now they are. Like, what did I do? Or like, oh, like, yeah, maybe.

But also, don't do this. No, Dane's telling you to do this, and I disagree. I'm not telling you, I'm saying that it's, he's, he's winking and crossing his fingers again. It's particularly dangerous because of the damage it could do, you know what I mean? Like, this isn't a way to pick someone up. This is a way to fuck someone up, right? This is, this is a way to find someone who has like a, again, like a low self-worth, low self-esteem and like really do a number on them, I think, in the same way that like gaslighting someone or, or, you know, love bombing someone. I also think, like, it's going to be next to impossible to do because nothing that's being described as natural.

So if you're, like, consciously being like, oh, God, I act like a real sleepy guy and then, oh, I got to turn. Like, I think the odds of someone lasting long enough into your sleepy guy performance to be then bamboozled and slammed by your interested guy performance. I mean, you'd have to, like, be in a situation where they can't leave. Like, you have to, you'd have to be like partners in, like, a school project. or something where you're like yeah forced to be together because like the whole idea of pickup is that they're the quote unquote aggressors or the approaches right so to approach someone and be like hey man how's it how's it going I'd love to tell you but I'm so dying it's like well then why would you do it in the first place right so it's like it seems already manipulative and

shitty yeah to do to someone who like is is kind of a captive audience like they have to be there and on top of this is like we've talked about people lying and like how that takes you out of yourself, I don't imagine this would be any different because you're trying to play this persona in both cases. You're not really being you. And it's like if for some reason it does work, how do you keep this going?

And I'm not like, to extrapolate on that. Like, okay, great. You've gotten a number. You go on a date. And all you've shown is this weird manic. Yeah, either like full energy manic man or or sleepy boy. And then like, do you show up normal on the date?

Or do you show up sleepy? And they're like, damn it. And then like, what? if, like, she has no idea what your actual personality is. Yeah, exactly. And, like, how genuine and authentic are you being in both of these things? Are you still saying the things that matter to you? Yeah, it's, it's, oh, I really love D&D.

And then, I love D&D. Like, yeah, like, what's the, what's the play here once, once you get past that sort of like initial, quote, unquote, attraction. Uh, of what she, you know, she's been like, oh, I, I have this effect on you. Here's my number. Let's fuck. And they're like, where, what, what, what, what, version of you shows up. Is it another gambit? Like is it another weird

move? Yeah. So therefore no one ever knows who you are. Yeah, you're just like a series of like weird fucking bits. And even then, your bits have to run out at some point. If they ever continue to work, right? Yeah. Because like if you go in with this like mindset, like I remember talking

to one of my friends who was seeing this guy and he essentially did the same like routine every time he would come over. So like every time she'd booty call him, he'd come over and like almost verbatim say the same thing do the same thing like same move same position like what kind of stuff though like what would he say like he would come in and like say something along the lines of i'm trying to like remember oh i'm so sleepy he would say something along

lines of being like you know oh i had such a long day it's going to be like the perfect end to it but like that was like he said it every time the exact same way real mpc energy and then you know he would like try to like pin her against the wall and like do do sort of like the same which is super weird yeah like and like the first time she was like oh this is great the second time she's like well there's like the jarringness of like even if it was good if it just happened verbatim again yeah that would just take me out of it so hard i'd be like what the fuck yeah it's it's like when you get someone who's like very obviously performing for you and you're just like this would be so much hotter if you just acted normally like if this was just a normal encounter

meanwhile they're just like I'm so tired I can't keep my eyes open but then halfway through fucking they're like wait that would be awful upsetting yeah I know it'd be so bad it would be upsetting in general like if I was talking to someone they were just like oh hold on keep my eyes open I'd be like go go that got a coffee I'll talk to you later yeah I would be genuinely concerned for that person like my my effort to appeal to them would like I would go into like nurture mode like I would not go into like sexy mode I would you I would be genuinely concerned for that got you. I would be like, now you're caring for them. Yeah, let's get you tucked in. I think depending on the situation, I would be like, why did you come out if you're this tired?

Like, it was like a date or if it was like in a group scenario, I'd be like, oh, you should get coffee or something. And I'd probably just go talk to somebody else. Cause like, I'm not going to like beat through your exhaustion. Yeah, I'm just going to be like, okay. Yeah, like they really do have to be like, they've nowhere else to go. Stuck talking to you because even just the approach of like walking up to someone. Hey, Excuse me. Can I, yeah, what's up? I'm real tired. I'm so tired. I can't, I don't, I can barely talk to you. Maybe it's like, why would you come over and tell me this? Maybe it's expressly for hitting on baristas. That's honestly, that's kind of the vibe I get. It's like it's. Oh, and then halfway through, you're like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, cancel that coffee. You've done it. Yeah, you did it. Shut up. Like, is it for bartenders and servers and cashiers and stuff who can't get away? And then, you know, I mean, like you're their captive audiences. Like that's. Did I read out the hooters? thing? No. Well, maybe we're changing question too because ours about to

be like, it's like when we talked about this, we didn't talk about it. Okay. Keep going while I find this. It's just a matter of thinking about what you're trying to accomplish, right? And this guy presumably is trying to sleep with a lot of women. That tends to be the seduction

method. You're not going to have any luck. And I think the fact that you introduce yourself as technically not a virgin or practically not a virgin or whatever. Why would anyone listen to your advice? It's like if I went to a money seminar well technically yeah

technically I'm not poor you know it's like I why why is anyone listening to you if this hasn't yielded the responses and results that you want not that if it did you should do it but there's an extra level of like even you must know this is bullshit

because it's not working for you because if it was you'd be having sex all of the time which again I assume is your goal if you're in seduction. He's just been studying out, man. It also, like, it all boils down to the fact that, like, these men think that women are puzzles to be solved and are all going to fall for the same trick, not, you know, ignoring the fact that, like, something might have worked for someone once.

Sure. Because, and we talked about it, I think, last week, where it's just like, what works for now is not going to work for me, which isn't going to work. So, like, coming in with these techniques and these ideas and these concepts and these bold moves they might work great for you probably not but most likely not especially

in seduction but like trying to translate that to someone who has no self-confidence or try to translate it to someone who doesn't know how to talk to people it's like giving someone the insert like if someone gave me

the fucking instructions for a you know an atom bomb or how to build a microchip it's all there the likelihood of me doing it sure is slim also like what if this poster is like a very

Timothy Shalamee waif looking like does seem like a pale orphan child. It does seem like he is struggling for energy at all possible time. Like that might actually play into it where it's like, wow, I've bypassed your genetic failures of this thin Victorian boy who's now

somehow there's a flesh of life in his cheeks and maybe it's like I think I have to keep talking with him or he may pass away from consumption. It is weird that there's an edit about how you should prick your finger and get a little blood made conversation to rosy up your cheeks. Exactly. Yeah, terrible.

I think it's your Do you want me to hit you? I got this one here. I figured, let's just go for it. Let's go for it. It seems to lead into it. It might be a little too much of the same thing, but I feel like it's weird when things come up as a theme.

It's by Set Lucky 1121. How to pick up a Twin Peaks slash Hooters Girl? And I thought it was the show Twin Peaks. I also thought it was going to be like a very strange, unnerving Hooters Girl. Which in my case, hey, that sounds great. Let's get all in. I'm an average to maybe slightly about. of average dude, five to six on the scale, accidentally discovered how to pick up girls that work

at Hooters and Twin Peaks. I just like looking at pretty women always have. I'm a respectful man. Women are people. Going to a place like Hooters slash Twin Peaks is a place you have permission to look a little. And I enjoy internally appreciating what beautiful women look like without having to try and bed them to satisfy my ego. Disclaimer.

It's not a how to guide to picking up any woman that works at these restaurants. It's a guide to how to pick up a few. It's worked for me several times. Any generalization sounds like I'm making about all waitresses is only generalizing the ones this works on And I promise you it really does work God, I'm so excited Step one, bring something to read

Or bring some work to do while you're at the restaurant Bonus notes if you're reading a book That requires you to take notes For whatever reason, ignoring beautiful women And focusing on something else drives them mad They want to know what's more interesting than their beauty I enjoyed giving glances at different women in the store But I wasn't there to pick up a new lady

I was there to read work or do something else Besides beg for attention Two, smile, be nice, be direct, be brief. You're not ignoring this girl, so don't. When she comes to check on you or see if you need a beer, stop what you're doing. Give your full attention and respond. Don't act like she's important to you until she's addressing you, but then value everything she says and respond directly to what she says.

But don't ask more questions and try to turn the conversation into more. She's going to when you never do. Three, stick around for a long time, but stay engaged with what you're doing. The idea that any waiter or waitress doesn't like you being there for hours on end is a myth. Yeah. Yeah, man. I love when you take a large percentage of my money-making potential away from me. It's entirely circumstantial. It's annoying for you to be there only if you'd meet any of the following conditions. One, you beg for attention. Two, their section is full and you're preventing them from getting more tables. Thank you for, fair. Thank you for an element of intelligence.

You don't tip at least $10 to $15 after taking up the table for so long. This depends on how much your bill is, sir. Yeah. You prevent them from going home once they're cut. Okay. As long as you ignore them, the more curious they get. Step three, I feel like we've already done a step three, but okay, when she eventually asks you what you're reading or working on, engage her directly, and answer. Appreciate her for asking. Don't drag out the conversation.

She's trying to find out what's interesting about what you're doing because it's more interesting than her. Sella does what's interesting to you. She will wish she was as interesting to you. Remindered, this doesn't go for every waitress. Four, keep coming back and ask for the same waitress that took interest in you. It's important to limit communications you don't become a regular. They just lump in with the other needy middle-aged men.

but be the dude that comes in and keeps himself and is nice. I'm not sure what truly does it, but it feels like after a couple conversations returns to the restaurant, she covets you because she knows more about you and the other girls still get ignored by you. She will tell them more about you behind the scenes. They'll ask what your deal is, and she will be the deliverer of that info.

5A. Ask your waitress to do something specific to an interest you share. Invite us to brunch to talk about the thing you talked about. Make clear you know they get asked out all the time. You're not trying to be weird. This usually works. 5B. Test the waters with another waitress on.

a day your regular one isn't working. If one is interested, she won't be able to figure out why you didn't choose her to be regular. Since you never talk to anyone, it will take you through steps one to five very quickly. It's insane to me how well this works. Being nice and being into whatever you're doing is key. Patience plays a role. If you think a woman owes your time, you're going to struggle. The beautiful women I've dated from these restaurants, appreciate being treated like more than a piece of ass, enjoy knowing I had interest beyond being a creep. What are your interests? I like being a creep. If it doesn't work, you have zero confidence. It doesn't work because you feel like nothing does.

I get off a numbers on the first visit. Sometimes after several. Depends on the waitress. Don't hit on one or two at the same store, you creep. Even though that was, in fact, one of the steps. That was long. So here's my trouble with this. A lot of it is just like how to be a person, right?

Like there's a lot of it just being like, yeah, like if you want to go to a restaurant and work, do the work and don't stare at the women, right? Like, that's pretty universal advice. I can't argue with that. That's great. Some of the things of him being like, if you're doing this, like, don't keep it. Like, he seems to understand how restaurants work, which is a little, a little glimmer of, of hope. There's an element where he doesn't.

And then there's an element where he does. So I don't really know. But then, like, I really want him to be like, hey, what are you working on? Oh, I'm working on a Reddit post for the seduction subreddit in which I tell men how to get in your pants. Yeah. of course. But, like, it's kind of like the other one where the whole point is to ignore them, right? It's like you're going to specifically have like a demonstration of, oh, this is more important than you are.

Yeah. And, and then you like, you give them like breadcrumbs of like attention, but then you withhold it because your fucking scientific paper is way more important. That's the, and it's weird because they're doing it on purpose. Yeah. I mean, that's how seduction always is, right? Like, they're always so close to understanding that, like, oh, if I just go to a restaurant and don't, like, objectify someone and have a normal conversation, maybe it will work out. Yeah. I think when we've talked about this before, I think the problem here is, I mean, I like the fact that this guy is getting dates.

So, like, he's not. He says. Yeah. He's not being aggressively gross if these women are actually going on dates with them, right? Like, he is hopefully behaving himself in this thing. but the problem is when you start telling people that this is how it's done

you're gonna once again you're gonna have a bunch of people who don't know how to do this so now all of a sudden these poor women sections are filled with single men with fucking scattered papers of like who the zodiac killer

is some shit right like whatever they think is interesting or it's gonna make a woman go and my friend told me women don't care if you take up their sections yeah it's a myth if you look at like any man's titter profile

They have no idea what women think is interesting. Yeah. So you're going to have a bunch of dudes in there being like, oh, I'm just charting the migration pattern of bass. I'm sorry, guys. I'm painting my war hammers. Yeah. It's dumb.

It's bad, though, as well. It's like, it's so weird to be like, oh, I treat them like women. You're not. You're reducing them to like NPCs in this way, where you're like, oh, I go, I gaslight them. I act weird. I deprive them. I give, like, you know, it's this. push pull weird like deprivation fucking and again you're also doing it at specific restaurants

which is creepy you're doing it at like the restaurants as you say that's weirder the the other strange thing is that like the like how much are you spending because he's like don't go to the same restaurant so there seems to be you have like a cycle or like a rotation of like you know i don't I don't know how many hooters are, I've never heard of Twin Peaks, but I assume it's the same probably referring to boobs. Yes. But it's like, or a very pointy butt. How many, uh, you know, how many of these are in your, in your vicinity?

Like, we live in Toronto and I think there's one hooters. Yeah. Uh, so it's like, like, how big is your rotation? Like, is it really worth going and spending X amount of money? Yeah, you gotta be doing at least $40.50 per minimum, right? So if you're going out like, that's a couple beers, right? If you have food on a beer or two. Yeah, you're hitting 40-50.

Again, unless you're in a place where food and drink is still cheap, because it's not any major city. Even then, it seems like the plan is to visit a couple times. You're, let's say, $200, right? If you go five times. Yeah. 200 minimum US, presumably. And it's like, okay, you could have just been normal. Yeah.

Like, I don't understand. Like, if you're capable of being charming enough. Because, like, look, these women don't get. give a fuck about what you're doing. These women aren't impressed by the fact that you ignored them. Like, none of that, like, what probably has caught their interest is that, like, you're not being a douche and you're not being disgusting, right? Like, that is what is attracting these women.

Yeah, especially the, it feels like they're going to these places where people are commonly creepy so they can stand out for not being creepy. Yeah. Cool. You've almost got there again, seduction. You're almost there. Like, it's almost like maybe creepy men aren't in the way. Yeah.

it's so like you're you're doing these like things that but but you're like equating the success to the manipulation yeah which isn't it i don't think maybe it's part of it but it also shouldn't be it yeah there might be a part of it of it yeah there might be a part of it of being like oh here comes that guy who's not gonna like he just sits and reads his book or whatever yeah but it's like that could be you normally without the idea of like this is gonna fucking break her brain this is going to slam her slamming her limbic system So why do you have that mental steel chair? Don't worry.

You're just staring at their limbic system. It's shivering in fear. It's strange to build up this idea of like everything is a war and every tactic I have. Well, when you have your tactical wake-ups, you wake up into a war zone. It's-r-G-R-B-G! It's just don't do this, guys. Also, regardless of your success, they're at work. Yes.

And that's another thing is like you're specifically praying on people who aren't. captive audiences. We talked earlier about how you would need this captive audience. Yeah. This one has found them. Great. And also like the idea of of memorizing who this woman is and then going back into her section repeatedly, you're if she's not into you. Yeah. Or has a boyfriend. Or whatever. It's like, or you're not as charming as you think. Now this person has to suffer. Now this person's like, ah, fuck, here comes the book guy again. He's going to try to like ignore me and then get weirdly, like, engaged when I ask him, like, do you want another

bud light? Yeah. Sorry, I'm just reading my treatise on bass circulation in the South Atlantic and then immediately pretend you to exist. And then, like, fucking fist bump himself. Yeah. You did it, Gregory. It's, it's gross, and I don't like it. I got a third

question that links into this. We're just going. Fuck what we said at the start. I'm sorry, guys. But, hey, how's your limbic system feeling? Slammed. Slamed. This one, the body of the text has been deleted, but I think we can have a discussion because I think it links into two things and also a trend I've been seeing lately. How has the performative male meme affected your game? What's the performative male mean? So, you know the way they were doing like Timothy

Salome like lookalike contest and shit? Yeah. They did a performative male contest in Toronto recently. Okay. Where like men were showing up with like their fucking cardigan draped over their shoulders and like their glasses on and like they're like feminist book and they're like I you know sorry I'm late I just came from my book club where we were discussing like the Oprah picks and you know I have to run I have my you know spirituals my drum circle or some shit and it's like just playing off this like because apparently it's now become a meme it's a thing of the performative male who's like I have a sex positive sex and dating advice podcast you know I mean uh which I find really funny and it's it's going or it's doing it circles on like tic-tok and shit where people are doing their like you know

two performative males have a performative mail off and right you know um and what is that if not this oh i showed up with my cool interesting like science thing or my like you know this is the thing this is what i was kind of hope and i still hope that we are in like the midst of it i hope we're in like the sort of like middle pendulum swing of men realizing that all of this is bad right like all of the all the seduction techniques all the pickup techniques all the that like just being genuinely interesting and interested is really the the surefire way to without without mentally being like I'm going to be interesting and yeah right like just being an authentic version of yourself and letting that do all the heavy lifting I really hope we're in that pendulum where a lot of men

are now sitting there and being like hold on like you know what I mean it's the it's the end of the saw movie where he's starting to piece together all of the like clues but thanks for spoiling them there are clues great at the end of the movie

cool is he piecing them together like a jigs great thanks man you hear the like dun dun dun dun dun dun no that's that's

let die by guns and roses and or the start of the George Harrison that can't be the music it's very similar to that I'll play the Throw it in the podcast We'll see if Saw will sue us

Yeah Mr. Jigsaw himself He won't sue us We'll wake up and our fucking dicks Will be attached together With like a bear trap You think that's not what our listeners want That's actually how we record

And it's the only way we can get closer up to To get the mics on us What the fuck was I say? What was I talking about? Men realizing Oh yeah the pendulum Right like I think this is like I'm hoping this is the societal shift

that I was calling after COVID. Well, on the upside, it's like, if we look at, like, we're probably two of the foremost seduction scholars in the world, unfortunately. Yeah. And there has been a positivity shift over the last couple of years. Like, it was a cesspool when we went on first. And now, like, the more terrible posts are getting, like, are being given shit. And some of the posts approach, like, normal human behavior.

Some people are like, hey, we should not play games and treat women. normally and like people and half the comments are like, yeah, man, and the other half are like, you fool. So we're getting there. I mean, there's always going to be the old guard, right? There's always going to be the people who think that like the way they weren't getting laid was the right way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like, I think a big part of it also is like, men are not getting laid and women can get laid, quote unquote, very easily. So I think like this, this sexual resurgent and the sort of like sexual renaissance that women are having where they're just like, no, if I want to fuck, I'm going to get fucked

and I'm going to go and like, pick somebody nice. Yeah, like it's and now men being like, oh no, our biggest fears of like women actually being the gatekeepers of sex. It's coming true. So I think like the fact that men now being like, oh, if I'm just fucking normal, that puts me above, like the bar

is so fucking low that just being a regular person like skyrockets your stock. It's in, it's wild that that that is the secret but yeah and then it's like now i think people are starting to to figure out and be like oh it's just a matter of like being interesting and being interested and having my own life and having friends where we don't talk about women in a shitty fashion uh is like last night stop telling them the sacred truths uh last night uh there was a uh specific group of people i'm gonna country fans uh whoa and uh it's always so entertaining

to watch country men usually from out of the city interact with women who live in the city because they think that they're like do she charm like the things that would work with like the people in their shitty small town probably doesn't work

it probably doesn't yeah it's like no dude you're getting laid because there are like seven people who are viable sexual candidates so like boredom alone it's gonna happen for you at this ones and like so there was these two guys and two women sitting beside each other and they were like, you go into the concert.

Meanwhile, they're wearing cowboy hat. It's very obvious. They're going to the fucking country concert. And they were like, yeah, we're going. And they're like,

oh, like, you know, we should go together. And they were like, no. And they're like, we're going to the same concert though. And they're like,

yeah, but we don't want to spend time with you. And they're like, what do you mean? Like, you're strangers. We're not going to spend a concert with you. You could suck.

And they're like, oh, we don't though. And it's like, also, nothing proves you don't suck more than arguing with strangers to try to follow them when they said they don't want you. Yeah.

You know, if this is your attempt and you say, hey, we go a concert together and they say, no, you go, fair enough. And then you get a drink and you say like, oh, hope you guys have a good one. And the normal thing to say would be like, maybe we'll see you there. Yeah, yeah. Right. We've talked about this before of like the power of chatting with someone and then just leaving it.

The tactical chat method. And not like trying to set anything up, not trying to. like win any points just like have a conversation with someone like all he had to do is be like you're going to the concert great cool i'm so excited like you know how long have you listened to them like what's your favorite song blah blah have a brief conversation be like all right you know maybe we'll see you there that's it yeah that would have gone so much better because then if you bump into them be like hey exactly whereas now they're going to avoid you yeah they're going to be like no these dudes are going to just glom on to us which it sounds like they were planning to do

anyway it's like it's so incredible to watch men fumble this consistently and this heart over and over again, where I'm just like, this could have gone fine. Like, you could have done this well, and it would have taken you significantly less effort. Yeah, you could have cracked open the door and, like,

maybe nothing would ever happen to it, but you'd be sitting at a net positive. Maybe it's a one point or a ten points or whatever. Instead, you were like, how about I fucking slam on the door till you lock it, and then, you know, you call the cops. Yeah, come around back and start jiggling your back door handle. It's so,

Are you in there? It's so desperate. It's creepy. It's uncomfortable. It's lame. It's dumb. Like, it just isn't going to work. And if it does, it's like, you've either found someone who's just like, doesn't give a shit or you're doing a kind of address.

Like, you never know. Some people are like, oh, yeah, like, because they're worried. Yeah. So don't. Just don't. Please. Don't do it. It's so.

And as Dane said, the other option is better, easier and nicer. Yeah. Like, and you have the potential to like go somewhere from that. Yeah. it's like now the the amount of men and that's what like really makes me laugh is like the amount of men that like just slam the door in their own face uh is incredible it's it's a shocking uh move especially when like women are happy to like like the the groups of women who are there who are happy to chat like i have this one regular who i love she's such a badass she comes in she has

her wine by herself uh but she's always very happy like if someone starts up a conversation with her she'll she'll have a conversation with her uh but the second someone's starts getting dumb, she just like calls it right to their face. And I'm like, you are a fucking legend. It's badass. Um, and the, the way that like people like for a group of dudes who, you know,

love to neg and shit like that, the second they're like called out, they like crumble. Oh, for sure. And they have no idea what to do and they get so fucking weird and awkward. Um, and it's just a beautiful thing to see. 20 years ago,

society wouldn't have let you said that. They cry and they run out. Like, fuck off. But I drive a Lexington. I drive a douche car Come on I'm a cyber truck Oh God

You know I just hit you another one You got one for me Yeah let's probably at least do one Of the ones you promise Let's do the one that confused you Will the fact that I only Cintrobated

I'm assuming that's how it's pronounced Effect my sex life Hi, I'm 18 years old Female soon going away to university All my life I've always only used Cintrobation as a way to masturbate I've never And I mean never did traditional way

I tried a couple times, but quickly felt weird and uncomfortable and would stop. For the same reason, I've never used a tampon, even started crying as I tried to insert it. So my question is basically, if there will be a moment when I have sex with my partner, especially if it's penetration, would it affect my pleasure in any way? So intubation is a way of masturbating by essentially squeezing your muscles. Yeah, squeezing your thighs together and small sort of like movements like that, which I thought was very interesting. I didn't read an article where it was like, you could do it anywhere. And I was like, well, don't do that. It's like, there's no difference that like a man jerking off in the, on a subway.

If you're sitting on the fucking TTC, rubbing your thighs, masturbating. Yeah. That's fucking weird. That's a private time alone thing. Like, even like, being like, oh, I'm, you know, alone at the office. I'm going to go home in the bathroom and fucking. Or just sit on my chair and do it, I guess. It's weird and don't do that.

Yeah. It's not what the question is about. Like, just because you're not getting caught doesn't mean it's okay. Yeah. Um, and also, I'm sure there are other signs like your face. Yeah. If you're, if you're, if you're, pleasureing yourself, I'm sure there's going to be indications of that. Yeah.

And don't do it. I promise you. It's like when anyone does like something and they think they're being sneaky. It's like you're not being as sticky as you think you are. There's usually some tells. And if you're tensing yourself and like slightly rubbing and gyrating, you're probably, it's like, it would be so fucking weird to see they're very uncomfortable and gross don't do that um yeah it seems like if trying to put a tampon in made you cry you will have issues with penetration because it feels

like you have some kind of repression uh here would be it some kind of like maybe you have a vaginismus or you have like a religious hang up or like a trauma in your in your past or something like there's obviously a mental hang up if you literally trying to put a tampon and made you cry and you touching yourself feels weird. I don't know why you would think that wouldn't be the case with a stranger in a far more vulnerable situation. That's it, right? I don't think it's a matter of how you've masturbated. No. Like, I don't think centrobating is what's going to cause the issues in the future. No, I imagine you're cinterbating because you don't want to do anything else. Yeah. It's like that's a symptom of your fear of touching yourself in those ways.

So that has nothing to do with it other than being a symptom of the cause, which is your like repression or hang up on your own body. Yeah. So therapy? There's definitely something to like is it a pain thing? Like is it does it hurt when you try to use a tampon? Does it hurt when you try to use toys or whatever? Like or do you just not like the idea of touching yourself? Because like I think there is there's again, Vigenismas or repression, right?

Yeah. There's there's a whole list of things that that could be the reason why this is happening. from you're doing it wrong on both cases to, as now said, like a past trauma or a fear or a repression or religious or any number of things. Like we aren't going to be able to diagnose this. No, but we can say you should probably get therapy. You should, yeah, speak to a number of different therapists, right? Like if you speak to a normal therapist that just sort of like focuses on the broader strokes

and things and they don't really see much going on, maybe speak to a sex therapist. You can also gynecologists. Gynecologists, pelvic floor doctors. There's a lot of people and specialists out there that deal with this. And I think that the more you get worried about it, the more it'll feed into. It's sort of the same thing when like guys are worried about like not being able to come or coming too fast or whatever. Where the more you think about it, the more your brain is like, okay, let's let's make this a big deal. But like I cannot imagine that being in a less safe environment, like,

a stranger doing things to you like that is high pressure enough for people usually without your issues yeah so i can't imagine why your issues would be better in that case than when you're at home and the safety of your room by yourself and you can't even like touch yourself so like i wouldn't risk it i wouldn't go and be like well give it a shot because that could then color all your fucking experiences from then on so try to get this sorted beforehand you know what i mean yeah and maybe it's just a matter of like pushing through that uncomfortable state, right? Like, but again, once it's not painful, don't push through if it's painful. You don't want to hurt yourself. Or even if like, if you start getting overwhelmed. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Like, take

take the necessary steps to keep yourself comfortable and safe. I think you got to try to put a finger on no fun intended. Why? Right. Like, is it pain? Is it discomfort? Is it discussed? Is it fear? Is it like what are what is it? And try to rationalize why? Because it's your body. You're allowed do these things. You know what I mean? I think that's, that's a really good point of, of being like, all right, I'm going to start. And what is it that freaks me out? Because the thing is, like, crying, that's a pretty extreme fucking reaction. So it's either such pain, in which case, go to a fucking doctor, or it's such, again,

you've got such a mental block over it. Either way, you need to see someone. Yeah. There's no way that we can diagnose us, and there's no way that we should. But there's definitely medical professionals and mental health professionals that you should talk to before you try to start having sex if there is this much of an issue with the idea of penetration. Again, I don't think it's funny

that your concern is pleasure. Yeah. And not practice. Like, it's not the fact that like, can you even do it? Yeah. So I, you know, it's strange that those are like the sort of steps that you've taken. So I definitely think you should you should talk to someone about this.

A hundred percent. More? Is it a quick one? I got a real long one. No. Then no, I don't. Okay. I'll hit you with a quick one.

Okay. The other one I'm going to put on our Patreon. So if you're interested about the pop-up question, it'll be on our Patreon. Sorry, we got carried away today. This is by Neither Strategy, 4579. What does it mean when your new squeeze says she picked you because of your soul? This woman I started dating a couple days ago had me confused. She's 5-2, 110 pounds.

I'm 6.1, 380 pounds. She's also athletic. Now, the curiosity, I asked if she was into bigger guys in general. She replied that she chose me because of my soul. She says she can feel safe with me and that she could be herself without needing to put on a fake persona. What does she mean by my soul? My dude, this lovely woman has said, I like you.

Yeah. And your body doesn't matter as much as how much I like who you are as a person. Yeah, something you're clearly hung up on. Yeah. You seem like a big guy, which is, you know, fine. You've told us in no uncertain terms twice in a very short question. So obviously, it is a thing you're hung up on and worried about. You brought it up.

You also mentioned that she's athletic. She's small. She's tiny. and like look I get it as someone you know who might be struggling with their body issue or our body image issues it's sometimes nice to talk about it

and like get a idea about it and like talking about your insecurities is a great way to strengthen relationship and potentially get over it sure like I do think he didn't quite take that step he definitely did a like one of those things he did just toe in the pool right probably more in a harmful way I think

where you know the way like people ask questions and they're almost trying to bait a bad response you know what I mean like when people are just so insecure that they like almost want to be like like yeah confirm for me that I fucking suck or whatever

yeah yeah and doubly so when they got a nice answer and they're like was it mean what does it fucking mean like what do you think it means it's very clear she lays it out she feels safe with you and she doesn't have to put on a fake persona it seems like you appreciate her

for who she is and she's returning the favor I appreciate you who you are you know you make me feel safe I can be myself around you I like you I like who you are as a person and the shell that is around you, I assume probably also likes.

Well, for sure. You, like, I don't think anyone's going to be like, well, you're disgusting. But I can overlook it, I guess, because you're so, no, like, she likes you. And the thing is, you're almost reducing her like of you to a fetish. Like, oh, do you like bigger guys? That's so reductive. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Like, if somebody asked me something like that, I'd be like, well, you're way more than just this one category you've decided to put yourself into. So she was elaborating on that And being like, no, I like you. And you're trying to fuck that up. Yeah. I mean, there was a period of time where I went on a date with a woman. And I think we went on like two or three. And out of the blue one time.

And like I was really vibrant with her. And out of the blue, she was a black woman. And she was like, so do you only date black women? And I was like, no. And she's like, so am I your first? And like got really zero in on it. And I was just like, and I don't know like what happened. I don't know if like someone got.

in her head. I don't know if like she got her own head. It could be just that like in the past people have been weird about it. I totally get it like because again I've been on I went on a date with a woman I think I told this before where within like 10 minutes she was like I'm not Asian and like she you're like

I was surprised because you know I thought she was but I was just like okay and she's like all right I just had to check because a lot of dudes like the second they find out I'm not Asian they like glues interest or get weird about it and I was just like, that sucks. I'm sorry you have to do that. But like, no, I, like, I find you

attractive regardless of like what ethnicity you are. But with this one woman, it got to the point where I was just like, is this a problem for you? Like, I, I, I, I, I swiped on you. It almost seems like, what's the issue? Is the issue that you're not fetishizing? Yeah. Is the issue like that it's your first, like, because I assume it was in this question or was it not? Like, if your first, like, date with a black person? No. Okay. Well, then, so were they upset that that wasn't. Yeah, I don't, I don't know what the issue was, but I was just like, I really tried to like, because like, see it from her point of view. If you were fetishizing, I could imagine that like, yes, this would be an issue. And if it was your first time, maybe they'd

be like, oh, God, who knows how it's going to get? He's like chasing a, yeah, yeah, or like, now this is like the box tick or something. Yeah. You're just like neither of those two things. Like, okay, we should be fine. And that's me reaching to find issues. Yeah. And I was just like, I kept trying to like reassure and just be like, but I felt like the most. I reassured, the more I was like playing into a thing. And I was just like, I was like, I liked you. We had great banter. We had good chemistry on our first day. Also, what are you getting at? Like, what is the issue? And I was like, I, and I understand that like, you know, dating as a person of color is probably considerably harder, uh, especially when you're dating,

you know, a white person or or someone who's, who's not the same ethnicity as you. Also man. Yeah. Um, so I was like really trying to be empathetic, but I was just like, I don't, I don't know what to do here, because I feel like every answer I'm giving you is wrong, but they are the truth. Yeah, and also you would imagine in this situation the better answers than if you were like, no, I'm fetishizing you. Yeah. So when it could, like, if you want to like bring these things up,

I think it's important for whatever reason. Like if you're worried that the only reason she's with you is because she's into bigger guys and that's all she's seeing, I don't think there's any harm in bringing that because it's peace of mind, right? I think that, like, you're going to spiral and think about it and get weird about it. Yeah. So if you want to do these little, like, quick things, but then you have to listen to what they say. And when they say something as sweet as no, I like you, you make me feel safe.

Yeah. I can be myself around you. You take a deep breath and be like, nice. Yeah. Thank you so much. And that's the thing. It's like, you know what she means by your soul. It's your personality.

It's your vibe. It's you. Yeah. You don't need to go and read it and be like, what does she mean? You know what she fucking means. You're just refusing to accept it because you're. trying to find a problem because you're so insecure. Yeah. And look, I get insecurities. Yes. Again, this isn't me being like, what? Like, huh? I get it, but it's also a problem.

Yeah. You know what I mean? It's a thing you should fix and it's a thing you need to be aware of. One of the things I struggled with for the longest time was I never really thought of myself as an attractive person, but I kept sleeping with very attractive people and dating very attractive people. And it got to the point where I was just like, it doesn't really matter if I'm attractive or not. Right. Like, from an objective standpoint or whatever, because I was like, these people who want to sleep with me and date me find me attractive, presumably. You would hope so. Right. Like it's very often I would get like people being like, I need to, you know, being enthusiastic to see me again. So it was something I had to really train out of me to be like, it doesn't really matter what view I have of myself in the sense of like, do I think I'm attractive to the masses? sure it'd be like if you're like oh i don't feel like i'm fit but i keep winning the olympics so yeah i guess like even if i'm not fit by my own definition i'm fit enough to

win the olympia you know what i it's like it's kind of like a sort of like body dysmorphia thing where like you almost like i like i stepped outside of myself and was like i understand that i feel this way but when i when i'm looking at the the grand scheme of things being like okay but it doesn't seem to matter so why am i worried about 100% and that's i think think, like, part of it is just realizing what you do. So you, this guy, this question asker, needs to realize they are insecure. They're making a problem out of their perceived stuff. And, like, again, make sense. We all do it. But she's giving you a nice answer. Just take it. I mean, a good thing is happening for you. Just take it. Just let it ride. Like, don't sabotage

you because you're insecure, because that's just going to make you feel more insecure, you know? And I will. Sorry, go. Just very quickly with the topic of like, by all means, bring up these insecurities with your partners. Obviously, we believe that. Obviously, we encourage that. but do it openly don't backdoor in a comment which is really you saying I'm insecure internally but externally is you asking an instant question and you're going to take that answer differently and that person doesn't know what you're really saying but you're still going to take it in terms of what you meant to say you need to be active people do that all the time like oh like do you like that girl's ass or something and yeah sure and there's like oh my god he thinks

I'm fat he hates my ass or some shit it's like don't ask something else else while meaning something different. Yeah, which people always fucking do. If you want to talk about an insecurity, do it openly? Even this, oh, do you usually like normal guys? Like bigger guys? That's not you saying, hey, I'm insecure that, you know, you're smaller and fit. And like, I'm pretty big.

Like, that's a very different conversation. If she was just like, yeah, she could have just been thinking back and being like, oh, yeah, I have been with. Also, she's also five one and one 10. Everyone's bigger. Everyone is bigger than her. Yeah. So she easily could have answered, honestly, which to her would have probably meant

nothing, but to you would probably have been devastating and that's so, so unfair on her because she wouldn't be in the wrong and she wouldn't have meant anything by it, but to you, it would be like crushing. It's very important to use like the active voice of being like, hey, I'm a little insecure, but my size in comparison to you, um, you know, or even just be like, you're super fit and like, unfortunately like I am not or whatever. I feel like I'm blah, blah, blah. And then just say it to her and then she will just be like, nah, dude, I like you.

And then you'll be like, what does she mean? Yeah. I think a good way to get through this and get over it is to, is to thank her and tell her how much it means, right? Like, if someone said that to me, that would be very nice. So one of the things I did when I was trying to sort of like get over my self-esteem issues was when someone said something nice to me, I didn't blow it off. I didn't ignore it. I didn't try to mine it for secret meanings. I didn't. I just said, thank you very much. That's very nice for you to say. Also, like, think of it like reversed, right? When she asks you something and you say something to her, you mean it, right? Yeah. Is there a secret meaning? Exactly. A double entendre. Is there like something that you're protecting?

Like if there is, you got to fix that. But there probably won't be. So it's like, why are you the only one being honest? And look, sometimes we tell our partners and our significant others and our friends, something nice because we want them to feel good. It might not be the complete and absolute truth. But sometimes you say, you know, you look great or something because you just want. want them to feel good.

Yeah. And, and that also means they like you. Yeah. Right. Which is the point. Yeah. Yeah. So just don't sabotage yourself. But again, I used to be that way a lot where like I would be nice to people.

I would do things to people. I would compliment people. I was genuine about all of it. But then whenever somebody did something for me, I would be like, oh, fuck. Like, I don't deserve that. Or like, I feel really guilty. They did this nice thing for me. Or like, oh, they said this.

They don't mean it. Yeah. And it's like, why? Why is it different rules for me and different rules for them? And I'd like to try to think of things. of things that way where it's like if for some reason they are lying or being shitty that's a them problem but the odds of it

happening are pretty fucking low because again why would it be different for me you know it's very important to like kind of step outside yourself when it comes to insecurities and like take a look at the whole room and be like I don't matter in the equation of like everyone in this room everyone

is as equally insecure about something as I am 100% and everyone's dealing with their own thing no one gives a shit about you know, the people who find me attractive are going to find me attractive. And it doesn't matter if I find myself attractive. Yeah. Or think that I'm not appealing to people if I am.

Yeah. Although it will help. If you are a little, more chilling confident. A little extra confidence never hurt anybody. And stop fucking self sabotaging like in this instance. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Well, thank you guys. Thank you for coming along. We did it. Closet ride. We love you. Uh, if you would like to support us, please go over to our Patreon

and sign up. You'll get extra episodes and you will help us remain afloat. Please share us. Tell a friend. Give us a good review, you know, the world is really cracking down on a lot of sex positive things and anything deemed adult or pro-LGBQ plus or anything. So, like, we're seeing kind of like a lot of reduction in our like reach and our scope lately. And I hope it's not because we suck. But if it is, feel free to tell us. And if it isn't, try to to stem that that tide or I guess the opposite of stem, try to unleash the flood of fuck buddies.

Unstem it. Unstem us. Just because the world is kind of taking a shitty turn and we don't want good voices to be silenced. Yeah. And hopefully we're also good voices. And thank you, Josh Eagle and the Harvestades for their song, Paper Stars. Are you ready for some bad sex writing? Yes.

We should be stamped after I read this. After the loving and kissing, I put my head between her thighs and got my first full view of her vagina. I had the expression of a newborn baby crying. My heart went out to it. I gently covered it with my hand and christened it, my hand full of love. Gross. What the fuck? imagine anyone doing that

like obviously we don't have vulvas but if someone just kept your balls and we're like and you like get the water and my handful of love I'd be like so we're never seeing each other yeah are you treating my dick like a unchristened child

what's happening down there imagine looking up and being like it has the expression of a crying baby what the fuck babies have you seen why also why would you equate my junk with a baby's face Wait, why are you equating the thing that you fuck with a baby face? I hate it.

Oh, written by Trump. No. It's bad. It's bad. My name is Day Miller. And I'm not Spain. I'm sorry. I brought bad.

RPG! RPG! RPG!