F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Tony Pizza Finds Love

Episode Date: June 1, 2026

I'll never leave you, Tony Pizza. We'll drive off a cliff together in a high speed police chase. Topics include delivery dating, Meta glasses, hyper independence and cultural dating scenes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello friends. My name is Day Miller. And I'm Nile Spain. And we're your fuck buddies. We are a newly multi-award winning sex and dating advice podcast where we take your sticky, sexy situations and turn them into sexy sticky situations. We done did it again. We did it again. Thank you, Quill. It's cool because this one was actually judged. It was. And it was an audience vote. So it's like, we did it both. We did both of it. It was nice to finally get the opportunity to bribe someone. Yeah, exactly. It's really hard to bribe people as a whole. Yeah. What I want to know is which episode do you think they listen to? All of them. They're all great.

Except for the one that I recorded on my laptop microphone. Yeah, yeah. Hopefully it wasn't that one. They were listening. They were like, this is so avant-garde. It's such a critique of modern society. Because you feel so disconnected. It's like someone speaking to you through a shitty laptop microphone in the corner of the room behind the speaker.

Behind both hosts. Yeah. You can feel what it's like to be trapped in a closet. Yeah, it's like raw. It's naive. You know, it's brave. And that's what we are here. It's either that or our best episode, episode 17.

Episode 17 with M. Night Chameland. Yeah, probably that one, honestly. It probably was that one. I feel like everyone kind of gravitates that one first. Yeah. And they probably were like, oh, should they win, should they not? And then they got to the twist. The classic M-night twist, which obviously we're not going to spoil.

With M-night and not do a twist. It, I think bears, to mention, we're back in the studio. We are in the studio. We're in sleepless studios down in the heart of, Toronto with Sonar here. Mike is on decks. I don't know what the, he's on the decks. He's on the two. He's remixing us right now. Yeah. Um, and he's pressing a lot of balls, which I can talk about this. He's crazy reading us. I can tell which one he's done here. Hell yeah. Amazing. Uh, but this week we're going to talk about girl I'd love her pizza two said,

I'm still here for you after I know that she moved. Would I be dumb to refuse to date a guy wearing meta glasses? How is dating culture in Toronto? Is hyper-independence killing my dating game? Hell yeah, let's get right into it. This is by Snoo Suggestions 95-94. Girl I deliver pizzas to said, I'm still here for you after I notice she moved.

I've been delivering to this one girl for about four years now. She's moved twice, but still in our delivery zone. I'm probably good 15 years older than her in my mid-40s, but today I was commenting on how she just recently moved. She acknowledged that I used to go to X apartments and then said, I'm still here for you. I said, I'll see you later.

And that was that. In my mind, I don't know if I'm reading too much into it. She said, I'm still here for you to mean like she's still a customer in our delivery footprint. And I'll continue to see her. She usually orders monthly. Or is it something deeper than that?

Someone feel free to knock some sense into me. I try to keep it mostly professional because two reasons. If I try to escalate, she could get taken aback. Like if I said, we should get coffee sometime. And then tell my managers, or owner I was hitting on her and I could potentially lose my job.

Two, I don't want to risk being a creep. To me, she would have to make the first clear move as waters are still too muddy for me with potential consequences. Yeah, man. Like, I, there's sometimes where I could like, and look, am I saying that there's no possibility? There's absolutely no chance that this woman was shooting her shot with you, the handsome, older man who delivers her pizzas.

The mid-40s pizza delivery man. Yeah, maybe. Maybe she was. Well, look at that this one. way, she's moved three times, but she's stayed in the delivery footprint. I don't know. I imagine. What are the odds?

Part of her moving decisions was just pulling up pizza, pizza delivery co.com being like, where is, where is the delivery zone? Sorry, delivery footprint thing. You got to use the proper verbat. And then she found like a really nice place outside. Can't do it. So she had to move. Can't leave Greg.

Greg, I'm still here for you. I'm still I'll always be here for you, Greg. Look, you gotta be, you gotta be, you gotta think about it, especially when you know where this person lives.

Yeah. So there is an element of creep that is so much higher than in a lot of other circumstances. You just gotta not do this, man. Yeah. You can't do this unless she bludgeoned you around the head with it.

It can't be vague. It can't be muddy. And it definitely can't be, I'm still here for you, which was, let me tell you, my dude, a little joke.

It was a little joke. It was a joke in direct reference to the thing that you were currently saying, which was, hey, I noticed that you moved and now you're in a new place. And she said, I'm still here for you. I'm still here for you. I'm never going to leave you. Like, if she said, imagine if she said that. Maybe she said, I'll never leave you, Greg.

This dude would lose his mind. Yeah, more than he already has. Go crazy. This is a trend that I'm finding. When I was looking for questions today, I was having a tough time. All pizza. Because it's all pizza delivery men.

Yeah. Just struggling with the basics. It's hard out there. No. It's a lot of people being like, I go to school and there's a girl that I really like and she's really cute. But I've never talked to her before or, you know, we're in the same class or whatever. But key point.

She exists. She does exist. And I have seen her in the same room. Space as me. Are we meant to be? Yeah. Does she like me? Does she?

She looked my way once when I stared at her all clasp. Yeah. Or it's like, oh, she put up her hand the same time I did. Is that a sign? And it's all these things where it's just like things that when you look at the grand scheme and the context of the situation that you're in is just like, it is almost certainly nothing. And if it isn't, it's still not something that you can like, It's not enough to go on.

You could make a move on. Yeah. And if the situation could be very reasonably explained as you being in existence. And that's it just being in school together or existing in a subway together. It's, it's, there's just so many questions like this. And I understand that it stems from this like, you know, as a society, we're very disconnected. It's getting harder and harder to meet people organically. It is like, especially dating, like the reliance on apps is very, very high.

And it's, you know, and I appreciate this aspect of it of like men, respecting women's space and they're not wanting to be a creep, as this guy said, and not wanting to invade private spots and stuff like that. Like I love that, but I think we've, we've, we've, we've slingshotted a little too far in the sense that, like, now guys instead of approaching women are now, like, fantasizing about them on the smallest modicrum of, yeah, of any. They're putting so much importance on something that is. just again existing in the same world near each other. And I think that like I love that

you are delivering pizza to this to this woman. You're correct. Like you have to wait for her to shoot her shot. Yeah. It is completely inappropriate to especially when you're in a position of like you're a stranger for the most part and she's opened her door to her home. Yes. Literally. incredibly vulnerable place to be as a stranger. Yeah. Particularly a woman. Particularly a younger woman. Yeah.

In that, in that scenario, you being like, hey, do you want to go out sometime? What puts both of you in an incredibly bad position? Because if she, she's probably like, oh, no. If I say no, he could just push me in my apartment. Yeah. And murder me. Or he knows where I live. Or I love pizza because I've gotten it so much that there's a multi-year relationship with my pizza driver.

And I don't want to be deprived of that good, gooey stuff. I will say my roommate, uh, when I was, when I was a single bachelor, um, he was a pizza.

He was a pizza. Yeah. Um, God, we cannot get into Tony pizza. We cannot do a third episode about Tony pizza. Um, no,

he, he went to the same pizza place so often that, I imagine the pizza guy had this same relationship with him. To the point where like, he would, he would come back with like stuff for me, because you'd be like, they just gave me. Free stuff.

They just gave me all this. That's beautiful. That's beautiful. Yeah, there are certain jobs. It's like pizza delivery guy or any delivery guy. You've come to their home. That's a no-no. Like Uber driver, you're in their car.

100%. You don't get to hit on them. You have their number now. You have their address. Exactly. A doctor. You know what I mean? You can't be like midway through fucking stethoscoping someone and then being like,

so you want to go for drinks? Yeah. Like when you're in power like that, You just can't. You just can't. Yes. Therapist. No, you can't do that. I would hope that we wouldn't need to say that.

Oh, we do. For sure. Have you met life? Yeah. No, I know. So anybody in those professions, I'm sorry. You cannot do that. Maybe if you're a pizza delivery guy and they really are like, hey, I want to go out on the date with you.

That's a different story. But you cannot be the one to do it. No. At least not while on shift. Even not on shift. If you run into them. If you ran into them. naturally don't be a fucking

stalker. And you have a good vibe and you have a good whatever and I do think you need to mention it. I do think you need to be like, hey, I need to preface this with the fact that like, I'm going to tell you right now I will still, I'm always here for you. I will always deliver your pizza regardless of your answer.

I, you know, this has been a great conversation. Would you like to go grab a drink sometimes? I think that's fine. But you do need to have like that out of the scenario which you are forced to meet and interact i.e. delivering pizza. You need to have a moment where you're out of that

and you have a actual interaction. You vibe and you get a feeling. And you need to be infinitely chill. Like this person needs to know that they can say no and not face consequences from you. You need to not ever be weird. During the conversation,

after the conversation, next time you deliver pizza, whether it goes good or bad. You just, because it's just, it could be so fucking creepy, so easily, and we don't want that. You don't want that, I'm sure. I hope.

Yeah. So to go back sort of like to the point of like all these questions, resurfacing, I think it's, it wasn't the fact that people were approaching people to have a conversation with them. It was the frequency and the way that people were approaching, specifically men approaching women.

And look, if you're out on a night out and you're in a public space, and you see someone that you think is attractive, there is no harm in approaching them and starting a conversation that is respectful and not gross and, you know, open to sort of like a, like, hey, how's your night going? And keeping it very sort of like loose at the start.

And then also being able to, as now said, so chill. You got to be so chill. And you also have to be aware that if they don't seem into it, be like, all right, great chatting with you, have a great night. And then fucking off. Yeah. And like they don't owe you shit. They could be uncomfortable.

They don't know you. So them being uncomfortable isn't weird, right? It's not a slight against you. Like they do not know you. They're doing their own thing. You don't know if them and their friends are having a deep conversation. You don't know if they had the worst day ever. Or they're waiting for someone or waiting for a date.

Or the last guy that went up to them was super creepy or anything. So you just need to be able to go over if you want to start a conversation. Keep it like, keep it chill. And if it's not going anywhere, you don't corner her. You don't push. You don't stick around. You don't get angry. You don't insult her.

You don't do what. You go, oh, yeah, well, have a good night. And you rejoin what you were doing for the rest of the night, talking with your friends, having a drink, having fun. Which is why we've said it before. If you're going out purely to hit on people, you're doing it wrong. You're doing it so wrong. Because then when you leave to go back to what you're doing, what you're doing is more

of that. It's just leering at other women. And like, it's so obvious. Yeah. When you're ping ponging between all the visible females, like, that's bad for you. Yeah. Right. So that's why, one, need to be chill.

to need to go out with a actual fun night in store and other things going on. And then if for whatever reason you're not successful that night, it doesn't matter because you're the fun night because you're friends doing fun stuff. And like all this advice is so multifacistic because it makes, like it makes sure that you are approachable,

you are having fun. And if things don't work out, you still have a good night, which doesn't breathe bitterness, which means the next time you go to do it, you're not going to be miserable because you're just going to have fun again. Yeah.

So just please. Please be. chill and please pizza guy. And I think you, I think there's a level of like potential confidence growth that happens during rejection. If you frame it correctly, as Nell just said, like if you go over and you shoot your shot with someone and they say, hey, sorry, not interested you. I have a boyfriend busy, whatever, like whatever the reason is that they don't want to continue having a conversation with you or give you their number or whatever. There's, there's a way to like walk away from that with confidence of being like, I took a shot.

Yeah. And I did something that was very scary, like inherently pretty scary. You were vulnerable to a stranger. You asked them out or, you know, tried to start a conversation with them. And if you do it respectfully and you do it confidently and you leave gracefully, there is nothing to be ashamed of. There's nothing to be insecure about. That is a moment of triumph for you. Even though you've failed, quote unquote, you took a risk.

You did something pretty balzy. And then you weren't garbage about it. Yeah. And like, again, I don't want to tell people this because I'm sure people take it the wrong way. But just because it didn't work then doesn't mean it won't work later on in the night with that same person. Meaning we talk about it all the time. Yeah. One of the most important things I think is to like, again, genuinely and chillly break the ice with somebody and show them that you're not a weird fucking creep.

So that when you leave normally, if you bump into them 20, 30 minutes, two hours from now, they're not going to be like, oh, fuck, this guy again. They're like, oh, yeah, this guy who, when things got weird left, who was nice, who, like, I can now actually have a chat with him. And then maybe nothing happens, but maybe it does because now they're like, oh, this person can act in natural real life situations, you know? And isn't it still a victory and a triumph? If you were a center and, like, recognized as a safe and non-threatening person by someone

else. Like, isn't that still, like, in this sort of like social economy of men being particularly dangerous and shitty, isn't it nice to be like, oh, this person recognizes me now from our past interaction as someone who isn't going to be bad to them? Yeah. That kicks ass. That feels good. Even though it goes nowhere. That's the thing. It's like, if they're just a friend, like, great, that's fucking awesome. Yeah. Now your night's gotten a little better, right? And it's like, a lot of people are so starved for interaction as, you know, evidence by this question that like doing this, even if you never went anywhere sexually with these people, you're becoming a better person because you're more able to have conversations with strangers and women and like

not be weird about it and not have them make a throwaway comment and you be like, is it deeper? Is it fucking deeper than that? Are we getting married? I'm like quitting pizza to be this person's fucking husband. I mean, you could quit pizza and then it wouldn't be. You say, hey. Then you show up on their door. Because you know they're a dread.

No. You're my last delivery. Damn. Because I'm going to shoot my shot. And I know ethically, I cannot continue to be a pizza man and do this. Wow. Or you do like I say anything and you spend your life savings on so many pizza boxes. And you just keep opening them up with like the.

Like the love actually like you are. Yeah. Sorry. Love actually. Not say anything. Say anything is the boom box. Which you also could do with pizza if you wanted to. Maybe you come to deliver the pizza.

But you've thrown her pizza way. You open up. There's a ring. Yeah. Damn. You'll always be here for me. Sound like vows to me. I like that we went from don't do this to propose to her.

Propose immediately. Oh, that's the thing. Immediately upon seeing her the next time. I'm just saying she's still in your footprint. That's a sign. She's still there. It's not, please. Or go real niche and try to do the Breaking Bad Pizza toss.

And then when she's, you know, her apartment floods because there's 12 pizza stuck in her east trough. she'll always think of you. Yeah. Let's do another question. Solve that one. Nailed it. Let's see this one because I do think it's going to be quick.

This is from Fufu. Would I be dumb to refuse dating a guy who wears meta glasses? I know this is a stupid question, but I recently heard a story about a girl who's dating a guy and she would never let him see her naked. So for his BD, his friends got him, this question, I should have gone through it and added the words that are not in here.

So for his birthday, his friends got him meta glasses so he could record her, which he did end up doing while they were having sex. No, that's true for a jibra. No. Yeah, right? And that just terrified me. Now I've agreed to do sex shots from my guy and a guy's personal chat, which I assume mean like she's going to send him nudes in a private chat. Presumably. But like, I don't think I'd ever do it again after what he put me through. I don't know what that means. And then to think about possibly having someone who video. me without consent during those moments

just terrifies me. Like, I wouldn't be able, or it wouldn't be much of an issue because I like missionary and I could see if he was wearing the glasses, but like, he could still put the classes on the side table point towards us so he could film. I don't know. I just don't think I'd ever date a guy who used any sort of smart glasses. I know that's a stupid standard, but like, I don't

want my naked body on someone's computer without my knowledge. It's fair. I think, look, there's a lot here. So one is kind of like what we talk about with, like, jealousy and not trusting people or it's like it doesn't really matter if he has a smart glasses or not. If you

think your partner is untrustworthy enough to film you secretly, there are other things you could do. So the smart classes. Everyone has a cell phone that has a fairly like every phone at this point in time has like a incredibly good camera. Yeah. For the most part, right? Like they all have like

night vision. They all have whatever. So it's like and also like nanny cams and shit exists. So if this dude really wanted to record you, he would. So I think there's an element of if you genuinely think your partner is that untrustworthy, that's something you probably got to examine, right? Whether it be to look at like why you would think that or if you have reasons to think that, why are you fucking dating them, right? Because smart glasses are not going to get in the way of this man if this is the kind of person he is.

But at the same time, I don't think I would want to date someone with smart classes or say a cyber truck. Yeah. I think it's just indicative of the kind of person you are. That's, I think, it's right? It's like I understand like you make very good points. I do think that some people might be tempted by the ease of doing certain things. Like I think some people are. There's a difference.

Like underneath it all, it could be a shitty person, but would be like I would never set up a phone or an elaborate like scheme. It's like you might not rob someone, but if they dropped their wallet and walked off. Maybe I would return it. Yeah. Yeah. Some people, it's like the crime of opportunity. Opportunity, yes. So I think there is, there's that level of stuff.

But I do think, as you said, I think there is a inherent level of politics and like social awareness when you purchase certain. Yeah, for sure. Products, right? Like if you are wearing the meta glasses, I think we can all agree that's kind of a douchey thing to do. Regardless of whether you need glasses, like we all know. what meta is doing, right? Like if you aren't aware of it, that they're like using it to scrape data

and like fish and like, you know, do all these things to sort of like steal information. Yeah. And we don't know what's being recorded when it's not recording. Exactly. There's so much to it that like... Even aside from meta, we know what people

who are getting meta glasses are doing, which is harassing and filming people in public without their consent and being super creepy. So it's like, there is a stink around it. And like, why would you get the glasses that allowed you to record, if not to use the glasses to record. You know what I mean? Like, what's the fucking point?

If, like, you've gotten them for a reason. It does basically one thing. Yeah. You know? Yeah, it's, the whole thing is like, you know, use them as a, as a device to record and or, like, capture things and or, like, Google stuff. You know, like, so it is, there's a, there's a level of. Ooh.

To them. Yeah. Same way that, like, when you see someone driving a cyber truck, you're like, you'd laugh. Ooh. Ooh. It's like, I feel bad for you that you spent all this money on this stupid thing.

But like, looks bad, is bad. It's bad. So I think that there is like, I don't know, it'd be the same thing as like if someone had a tattoo of, you know, I love Elon Musk or something. It's like, this is, you've shown with what you've decided to put on your body

where you stand on certain subjects. Yeah. And if those don't align with how you feel about something, then it shows you that you're not, you know, in line with, with who you are as people as compatibility. Yeah. So even like on a more kind of like simple level, it's like if I'm in the gym, if I'm in the changing room, I don't pull my phone out. Yeah. You know what I mean?

I don't want my phone. Because if I'm walking around with my phone, even if I'm not recording, somebody might be like, whoa, like there's a camera pointing my way. And I feel like that's almost the thing with meta glasses where it's like if I'm getting undressed or whatever and you're wearing these, it's like. it's still kind of rude. Like, you know what I mean? Yeah. It's like you shouldn't wear them in the locker room, for example. So why should you then point them at me when I don't want to be filmed?

You know what I mean? So it's like, I think there's even just on the like simplest level like that is just kind of shitty. So like I totally get it, you know? I don't understand them as a concept. I don't love all the things it's related to. And it's like, yeah,

you could be very easily filmed. So I don't know. Yeah. I get it. And again, like even if someone has no intention on, doing it. It's like we don't know what like our phones obviously are always listening to us. Yeah. I made a joke about OZempic and now all I get is OZempic ads. Also like I again, I don't know how

they work, but like let's say it's a button press to turn them on and that's a button press to turn them off. I have literally gone and played PlayStation like online with games thought I was muted or thought I was unmuted, went to piss, muted by wireless headphones, but unmuted them unknowns to me. So I unmuted just to piss and then went back and people. We're like, what the hell? And I was like, well, that's bad. That's a power move. It is, yeah.

They were like, damn, bro. And there's like, totally. To be absolutely silent during a team game. Yeah, and then just pee. Someone's like, you know what time it is? It's time to rip a piss. Yeah. So like, you're all going to listen.

What if you fuck up? What if you're brushing your hair back all sexy before you do the deed? And all of a sudden, beep, I don't know. It could be even accidental. That's bad. Yeah. So, but no, I would not date someone with metaglases either. So.

Yeah. I don't, I don't feel bad saying that. No, I don't think there's any part of it that's redeemable to me. Yeah. It's the same thing as like if someone, if someone like only used AI for everything, I wouldn't be able to date them either. No. The sheer embarrassment will kill me, little on the-

Yeah, any sort of like buying into this new sort of like, everything needs to be smart. I sound so old right now, but that's fine. I'm okay with it. I am, however, going to sit and think quietly to myself about the most boomer thing I've ever said. So we're going to take a quick break and we'll be right back. We're back. This is by One Back 2443. How is dating culture in Toronto? There's a girl from Toronto I'm romantically interested in. I'm from Latin America and there we usually ask directly about starting

a relationship after a couple of dates. I've heard that in some other countries, things work differently and sometimes there isn't even a direct relationship question. How does dating usually work in Canada, especially Toronto? It's my first time living abroad so I don't know much about dating cultures in other countries. I'd really appreciate any advice how to approach or court my crush. So he wants to just ask after a couple dates to be in a relationship? That's how it works, apparently. I mean, these are the hard to answer questions.

Because I'm sure that there are some women in Toronto who would love that, who would love to be locked down after a couple good dates and be like, yeah, sure, absolutely. I think it's tough when you ask, especially in a city as multi-collar. and diverse as Toronto to be like, how is it done here? Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, I don't know, are you dating someone from the same place you are, which isn't an unlikely scenario, right? Like, I'm sure you're not the only Latin American living in Toronto.

But even if you were somewhere less multicultural, it's like people have individual values. It's not just like, this is culture. Boom. Everyone does this one thing. Yeah. So I think what really matters is like one, like I guess it is good to look at like the general state of things. But two, it's like you should do what you want to do once it's respectful and smart.

So if you want to ask someone to be exclusive or whatever, do that when you want to do that. Don't make it an arbitrary like, well, it's been five dates like culture says. You know what I mean? I would do it when you want to do it regardless of anything else. And two, I don't think you should ever have a. But yeah, you're just dating. No one even has the chat. That doesn't make sense.

That doesn't work because you run the risk of people not being on the same page. So I genuinely do not care what culture says or what culture might have it that way. There's so many risks inherent to that. Your emotions, their emotions. Like, you cannot have a life where you're not actually specifying that shit. And if you're not comfortable having that conversation, which is sort of like, the most sort of important conversation to have when it comes to being in a relationship because it's the one that defines whether or not you are in a relationship,

then it doesn't bode well to some of the more challenging conversations. It's the thing. Or some of the more nuanced or less important conversation. Like if you're not willing to have like the conversation, then I don't think you have much chance in surviving a relationship and navigating a relationship when so much of it is dependent on clear and consistent. and frequent communication. Yeah, just being like,

I really like you and I want to be exclusive is a very easy softball, fun, positive conversation. You know what I mean? It doesn't mean that always goes your way, but like, that's easy talking about like deeper things and like money issues and like sex

and those are all way harder. So if you can't do this, maybe don't date. Maybe don't date yet. Yeah. And if you're worried about like coming across is like too soon or whatever, as we always talk about, there's no harm or problem, at least there shouldn't be. And if there is,

then you need to reevaluate the relationship in stating where you are, right? And saying like, hey, I've really liked our relationship. I know we've only been seeing each other for a short amount of time, but like, I'd be interested in being exclusive with you. And I would, you know what I mean? Like focus it on yourself. Focus on what you want. Focus on how you feel. And let them decide. They might say, hey, that's, you know what I mean. That's, you know, That's really great to hear. I really like hearing that. I don't know if I'm ready to make that decision, but I do want to keep seeing you. Or someone might say, you know, if you guys sort of like started as a hookup or a fuck buddy situation, someone would say like, I'm not actually looking

for something that serious right now. And I don't know when I will. That's also good information to know. Yeah. Right? Because you now have the decision being like, okay, well, I'm happy to like just keep doing what we're doing. And if it does progress to something, great. If it doesn't also great. Yeah. Or if you're like, I actually want to pursue a serious relationship. And if you're not sure when that's going to be, then maybe we go our separate ways. Yeah. And like, you now have that information. You can now make a smart decision. You guys can decide as a unit whether you want to be or like where you want to be or how you want to progress the relationship. It's all good information. Yeah. It's win-win, right.

In my mind, this is how it is. Yeah. And that's have no conversation about other. So shitty because either they're like if they're not on the same page as you and they hook up with someone, you're going to be mad at them, you're going to be upset, you're going to be heartbroken, you're going to be all these things, which isn't fair because you've just decided it in your brain and hoped that they also came to the decision at the same time as you? What if they came to the decision earlier? And a week before you decided, you had a date. You know what I mean? Like, it's fucking insane. You cannot live life that way. No. So it's just the coward's way out. And then you're going to just get upset. You're going to be heartbroken one way or another. Someone's going to be hurt.

Someone's going to have been on the wrong page. It's just no way to live. So don't do that first and foremost. Yeah. So other than that, I would say, like, don't be weird. Don't make assumptions for people. But once you're communicating, I don't think it matters what the culture is. You know what I mean? Yeah. Do what I mean, that's it, right? Like, I think just assuming something based off of culture. Yeah. I think is, is a bad idea because like, I think assuming anything is, you know what I mean? It's like making an assumption versus actually communicating. One's infinitely better. Yeah. And like, you know, there's, there's plenty of people who come from cultures that are more conservative, who don't embody any of, like actively reject that sort of stuff.

So just being like, looking at someone being like, well, I'm from Latin America and this person is from Southeast Asia. And therefore, it's like, that's a crazy thing. Yeah. And also, well, racist. Yeah, exactly, right? And you're just setting yourself up for failure. And the thing is, it's like if you want to date somebody, you should know, one, how to communicate with them, and two, how they communicate. So it's like having these conversations is going to be far better for you in the long run, because if you start to bring this up and they're like, oh, I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to know this. Do you want to date them? Yeah. Is that how you want your life to be going forward? So have the conversation. Fuck the culture. Yeah. Fuck all culture. You've heard it here.

This is Niles bold stance as a white man. All other cultures need to be disregarded. Oh, God. Clip that. This is from significant emu. I feel like we've had a significant emu before. There's a very good chance. I tried very hard. I don't remember what the question was,

but remember there was one that had like strong, better betch energy? I checked in and see that there was nothing new. Okay, fair. I did, however, discover a new subreddit, which is teen dating. Okay. which is

probably going to be my new gold mine because it is, it's wild. I can't imagine it's much worse than just general dating because like... Honestly, it's better. Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. Like, almost all the posts come with trigger warnings. Like, they're very... The kids are all right. The kids are, well, we'll see.

We'll see. Is this from it? This is not. No, I do have one that is... This is a significant of an emu. It's hyper-independence killing my dating game and potentially leaving me single in my 30s, I, a mid-30s female, have been dating on and off the app since 2022. And sometimes it doesn't work for the best,

but sometimes I am just confused about why it did not work? I now know how to regulate my nervous system well enough that I see signs of inconsistency fast, communicate after seeing repetitive toxic patterns, and if nothing changes even after that, I have a peaceful conversation of why it doesn't work and I take myself out of the running. But I have a unique issue that kind of repeats itself

in most of my relationships. I don't know when or how I develop the first signs of hyper independence. I think telling guys I date about every little thing that pops into my head or everything that happens in my life all the way or all the time is kind of an inconvenience instead of a way of bonding. This has been an issue since my first boyfriend in 2010 where he said, why do I feel like telling you everything in my day to day and you engage and reciprocate warmly, but you never initiate?

All these years later, I had something like that in my latest dating experience where a guy said, I feel like I always want to talk to you, especially if I'm feeling good or feeling bad, or anything in between, and you are always available, but you don't call, or but you don't call text or initiate first. It makes me feel like I'm not important enough. And eventually, after three to four months of this, he ended things with me. I can theorize this therapy speak that I probably didn't feel safe opening up to my friends and siblings and parents growing up. But apart from some middling years in school and at home by my brother, which I'm sure happens

with all siblings, I don't think I had a terrible childhood. Parents were parents. So I'm curious why did I develop this and how I can correct it? Is this really a reason to, uh, for the bond to not develop? Or is this just an excuse? So like they'd be saying everything to her and she's just like not reciprocating basically? It seems like she reciprocates in terms of like when they speak to her. She engages and is yeah, you know, happy to do so, but never sort of like brings up little details about herself. Yeah, that's fair. I understand why that would be like off putting, right? If like you would bring something if I'm like, oh, I had a really bad day, blah, blah, blah, and we have a nice talk about it. That's great. But if it's always me offering things and I'm

never being offered things of return, you're just kind of a void, aren't you? Yeah. Right? It's like, I want to know you if I want to date you, right? You're not just sounding board. You're not just like chat GPT being like, hey, you've sounds. Absolutely. I agree with everything you just said. Exactly, right? So yeah, I totally get it. And it's like you seem to have understood it. So it's like, why then can't you just offer things? Yeah, I mean, I resonate with this question because I feel like I might, if hyper independence is a thing, I feel like I do this as well in the sense of like, and I think my problem, uh, if this helps the question asker at all is like my internal monologue

is so spastic in terms of like the amount of things going through my head. I sometimes forget I haven't said them out loud or I haven't communicated them. Like there are so many times where like I'm going through the checklist of things that I need to do and then You know, I'll mention something to my partner and she'll be like well you never told me you're doing that. It's like you're correct But because in my head I've been Getting up to do it all week or whatever I have forgotten in the in the frenetic mess that is my internal monologue to verbalize that out loud to you So I I get where this person is coming from in the sense of like yeah sometimes

the impulse to just say what you may feel is inane or mundane but she seems to think of it more as an inconvenience which I don't right

like that's not where I'm my stances my stance is just like I've said it so many times in my head that I've forgotten that I haven't said it in in the real time yeah I kind of get it but at the same time it's like you have to realize that like if you don't give you they're not getting you

right and somebody is is gonna want you, presumably, and it's like, if you're not giving them anything, what are they gonna do with that? You know what I mean? Like, you can't just be void. It's strange, especially because like,

I'm happy to, if someone starts a conversation, I'm happy to like talk about my day, right? Like that kind of thing. It's weird if what she's doing is not even, yeah, if it's like, all the bad day and you're like, oh, my day, does it exist? No, I'm void. Yeah, or if it's just like, yeah,

you just sort of like, almost like a therapist, keep talking to that person for them to reveal, but like there's no, nothing else coming out your way. I do understand that that would be a little off-putting. Yeah. So like,

it's weird to me that she doesn't seem to understand that that's off-budding. She's like, is this a reason to, yeah. Of course it's a reason to fucking end whatever you guys are doing. Especially in like the early stages when it's kind of important to sort of share. Yeah.

Because again, they want to get to know you. Yeah. And this is integral to that. Yeah, if you don't know, like, where someone stands on, like, bad days or meta glasses or, you know, whether or not the pizza guy should ask them out or not. There's a lot of things that you need to sort of learn at the start of a relationship. And if you're not offering any of that up, I could get where someone was just like, yeah, it's like we've had many conversations. I don't know anything about you. Well, it's kind of the opposite of the person at the date who only talks about themselves.

You know what I mean? You're doing the opposite where you're never talking about you. And it's like that would turn me off. And it's like I would love to know, like, is the lack of confidence? You know what I mean? Like, do you think what your feeling isn't worth saying? You know what I mean? Yeah.

Because like it's an inconvenience to you or to them. Yeah. Right? Because if you're not arced, if you're literally like, ugh, I don't want to have to fucking talk to them. I think that's a different issue. But if it's like, I don't want the inconvenience. them by telling them shit, which I think a lot of people can, can understand. It's like, I talk a lot. And I tend to just like, this came into my mind, boom, blue, and just like shoot

it out. And I definitely sometimes feel like I can be an inconvenience in terms of like, nobody wants to hear me fucking, you know, gab on for ages, unless you're a listener. So like, I get that. But at the same time, it's like you can't live a life where you're just like nothing, right? Yeah. And it's like if people do think you're an inconvenience, Once you're not being, like, you need to have a certain amount of, like, social awareness intact. But, like, if that's the case and they still think you are, then it's just the wrong person for you. You know what I mean? You need to find somebody better.

Yeah. Yeah. It's almost like the people who, like, think that, like, everything is going to be, like, everything's going to upset their partner. Or, like, anytime the partner is upset that it's their fault. Yeah. Right. Like, that sort of insecurity of being like, well, like I'm not going to tell you anything because it's it's going to like upset you or bore you or whatever.

You know, people who who don't want to talk about like their their hobbies and stuff because they're worried that like. Yeah. People are going to think it's nerdy or whatever. Which sucks. Like that's so depressing. Yeah. And it's like maybe you she brings up her parents and her family. Yeah.

Kind of out of the blue. And it's like is this like was the things you were being bullied about. that like made you feel lesser because like I've talked about it as well it's like I always felt kind of like an afterthought in a lot of friend groups when I was growing up and I always felt like I was like if I got nothing else to do

you know what I mean like almost a burden on people's friendships I can understand and I know how that affected my relationship as an adult I can understand if that's the kind of bullying you went through that this would have a direct impact on your relationships later on and like when I was young

actually even still it's like I do talk a lot and like I would try to talk to my parents and be like, oh, this thing's going on and like explain to them and blah, blah, blah. And like, I feel like my mom would just zone out or change the subject like very rudely in the middle of me talking. My dad would be like, and like sigh and like rolls eyes. And I'd be like, all right, I'll just shut the fuck up then, I guess, you know? So it's like, that could have easily turned into me never having a podcast. You know what I mean? God, what a loss. That would have been for the world. But it's like I know my friends and my people.

and it's like they wouldn't treat me like that. So I pushed through it and moved on. And now you can listen to hours upon hours of me talking on the internet. Yeah. And I get it. I understand, you know, my partner, I adore her. That's good.

And a good start. But she's one of those like stream of conscience thinkers, right? She says kind of like whatever pops into her head. And I know there are times where she thinks it's annoying or whatever. I don't know if I've ever been annoyed. The only time I'm ever annoyed

is when I'm dealing with a minute technical issue, which is, for whatever reason, makes me so mad. And it's not a hurt... Yeah, it's just a... You're annoyed and your attentions elsewhere. Like, that's really the only time I've ever been, like, annoyed by it.

Yeah. But I am, like, I'm sort of the opposite where it's like, sometimes she'll have to be like, what are you thinking? Yeah. And it's just like, oh yeah, I'm processing thoughts

in my head a mile a minute and I do need to at some point in time put those, like verbalize those. And it's something I find that like with as busy as we've been and have gone and like I find I spend a lot of time

going through, you know, especially when I'm like editing or whatever, right? Like it's such a, can't really have a conversation while you're doing. Yeah. So instead,

just kind of locked in my mind palace. And I've realized it has it like had a drastic effect on how much I verbalize. And it's something I'm like actively working on being like, oh, I'm very bad at saying things out loud. And it's it's something I've recently realized and pinged as like a problem. So if that's what's happening, you might just have to like try to like do some breathing exercises and slow your mind down a little bit and be like, what have I actually said and what have I said out loud in my head or, you know, ran through

in my head of being like, oh, don't forget to mention this. And then you forget to mention it because. Yeah. Well, I think step one is understanding that, yes, this is a thing that it makes sense for people to feel. Right. And what? And yeah, anybody who is, you know, hey, we're not really clicking in this way. Like step one, you got to realize, yes, they are right. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, it may be annoying and maybe inconvenient for you, but like, yes, they are right. And once you realize that, you can start to move forward. Because if you don't believe them or if you don't think it's an issue, you're not going to fix it. Right. So step one, understand they are right. You know what I mean? Step two is understanding why you're unable to do it.

And hopefully now that you know that why people want it, you'll be able to put the work in to kind of get there. And like, realize that like people want to hear this. You know, it's not an inconvenience. Like the whole point of dating is to hear these things. It might be little. It might be small. It might be depressing. It might be, you know, weird, whatever. Like, you might have just found out a cool Ardvark fact. Great. Somebody wants to hear that. You know what I mean? You're the bad day at work. Somebody wants to fucking hear that. Yeah, that, like, what are you going to do the rest of your lives? If it's like, it's like, I don't have small time. I just want deep conversations. I only have deep, deep conversations. It's like, well, you're going to have a hard time because there's only

that would be inconvenient for me. There's only so many of those you can have. And it's like, yeah, a lot of our day to day, it's like, you know, a lot of what me and my part to talk about is, is, you know, the show we're watching or my cat and our cat, you know,

I mean, like, like what he's doing, you know, just, it's just sort of mundane stuff, but like, that's the,

you know, if you stretch out of relationship over a long period of time, there is a lot of mundane in there. Yeah. And that's not a bad thing. No. I think that's,

that's like, that's where the things that you love about someone come out, right? Like, that's, that's when, that's when you, when you discover who people are and when you,

how you're comfortable you are with them. And like sometimes it's nice to just like exist in a space where it's small stuff. And that's kind of nice. Yeah, 100%. That's going to do it for this episode, Friends. Thank you very much for hanging out with us. Yes. Thank you, Josh Eagle and the Harvest Cities for their song paper stars.

Thank you, Mike, for the meme horns. Thank you, Red Bull, if you want to sponsor us. Thank you, Red Bull, yeah. Or for the Red Bulls. And Sleepless Studios for having us. We gave high-octane advice. our advice gives you wings yeah very quickly did I tell you that

I found a four hour long age of vampires on stage finals with a fucking orchestra that was sponsored by Red Bull fucking wild Red Bull I think at this point in time will slap their logo on anything which is why I'm saying we're here why not us are you ready for some bad sex writing

yeah today we're going to blend bad sex writing with like a bad or a dating profile it's up to you to tell me if it's bad or not okay this is a hinge So I'm going to read you out the prompts, the responses. Feel free to react, but we'll talk about when I'm done. My greatest strength.

Being a single mother. I'm kind and generous. Goes above and people to make people happy. I think above and beyond was the intent there. This year, I really want to end my current relationship and find someone that deserves me. I'm looking to forward my career as a nurse and find someone more compatible to my lifestyle, my teenage kids and my dogs, someone who's supportive and loyal. Long-term relationship.

I'm currently in a situation I need to get out of. I have teenagers. I'm looking for someone to open my eyes to see what is out there and what I deserve. Fingering out my relationship type. Funny but laid back. enjoys teenage kids and dogs, being outdoors, and generally a nice person with a job. Cool, cool, cool.

What do you think? I like that it's important for the person that she's going to date to be loyal. But not her. But it is okay to get on a dating platform and just shop around. Yeah, yeah. Just see what's out there. I'm dumping this person, but I would like to land. you up first. Yeah, I am dating someone, but I do want to kind of make sure I got, you know,

be, quietly, boy day. I'm fully going to start dating you before I dump them. I want to make sure I'm safe. I really want you to be loyal, though. Yeah. I wonder, like, does, is this guy aware? He's just like, yeah, man, I suck. I wear meta glasses. By all means, date around. And when you find someone you'd rather be with, you can, you can head on out. No one who wears meth glasses is that chill. Yeah, you're right. Unless he's filming it

for content to become a like rage bait. Yeah, yeah. Manosphere. For sure. Yeah. It's,

have you seen the, the trends of, of like, guys filming themselves, like breaking up with their girlfriend? No, no. Oh,

I was hoping you were joking. No. Oh, no. But I mean, like, it's all, like,

it's all them being like, oh, you're going to the gym? Well, I canceled your gym membership, like two months ago. So where you go? Claire.

And like them all breaking down. And it's like, I guess it's meant to be like, you want to be feel bad for them or whatever. But it's just like, why did you, why did you set up a camera for this? Yeah. It's fucking weird. I'm no. Also, there is one where he's just like building a like plastic dinosaur while he's doing it. I'm like, this is strange.

The whole thing is strange. Okay. I assume it's a lot of it's fake. Anyway, this is a bad profile. I hate it. Yeah, zero out of ten. Zero, zero out of ten. My name's Day Miller.

And I'm now Spain. we've been your fuck buddies.