F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Why Isn't She Scared of Me?!

Episode Date: September 21, 2026

Do women even know how emasculating it is when they feel safe around us?! Topics include the male urge to be feared, chubby (complimentary), re-inventing dating in the worst way, clearing up mixed signals by sending even mixier signals.Support the show on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello friends. My name is Day Miller. And I'm Nal Spain and we're your fuck buddies. We're a sex and dating advice podcast where we take your sticky, sexy situations and turn them into sexy sticky situations. Simply put, we find your questions either online or wandering your wild mind. And we answer them right here right now on the topics of sex and dating. Nice. You know what I just watched for the first time and... Porn. Yeah, I gave it a go. I figured I'd try it out just to see what I was talking about. It was a lot I watched specifically close up porn Okay I didn't like it I got I got that 8K Close up more It was it's

Terrible actually I don't know why anyone watches it I was really disappointed because it had nothing To do with close up magic But I thought it would I mean they were constantly pulling things Out of a hat That's fair and they did make that dick disappear

A-oh No I watched Jennifer's body Have you seen Jennifer's body? Yeah, yeah. It pleased me. It tickled me in ways that, like, I, I don't know why I waited so long to watch it. It was, you know what? You did it, you did it right.

And that's just coming from my experience, because when I watched it, I was pretty young and I didn't appreciate it. Mm. Because I think I thought it was going to be like, yeah, she's fucking going crazy. It's like, it's supernatural. I thought it was going to be more like actiony, horrory genre-y in that way. Right. As opposed to like it being a really cool. fucking movie that I just didn't appreciate

because I rewatched it recently and I was like, wait, this is sick. So it's, I think you did it right. It's very clever. It's very funny. It's funny because I know I know it's like beloved and kind of like a cult classic, but I really do think that if it was like released now, it would have, if it was released now, it would be the new obsession. Yeah. Because it's like, it's so funny.

And like, look, there's two things that I find really funny about the movie. One, I love when movies try to take someone who is an absolute smoke show as Amanda Seafreed. Yeah, and she's the ugly girl. Like ugly. And it's like, yeah, like even when she's like mousy and like got the glasses on and like the big frumpy sweaters and everything, she's still a smoke show. Like she's still incredibly attractive. The other thing I think is funny. And we were talking about this, me and my partner, whereas like, I really wish Michael Bay wasn't the one who discovered Megan Fox because Megan Fox is so fucking funny. Like her comedic timing and her commitment to the bit. Like I think it takes a special. kind of actor to pull off the stupid slang that she was saying and make it sound like normal and natural and like something that like teenage girls would say because like we were talking about it. It was like there are actors who can't even use real teen slang and make it sound without

the right feeling painful. Yeah. But she was like I mean like I've never remember the slang. I don't remember the slang. She says at one point in time one of the guys is talking to her and she goes sheddies to like tell them to shut up. And it's I'm obsessed. with it. I use it all the time now.

That's pretty good. She, what are the other things? I don't know. They just say a bunch of stupid shit. I kind of appreciate when a movie does that. It's like, there is existing teen slang right now that you could use. And they're like, no, no, no. It's like Tolkien writing Elvis. Yeah. They're like, we're going to, we're going to craft a whole new language. Yeah, it was. And like some of the stuff was like, they were almost using like,

almost like 1950s, kind of like archie slang as well. Like, they were using some like really like old school stuff in between like they say dill weed and like shit like that I don't know it's I I'm very bummed because I think Megan Fox and her talent was kind of wasted as being like look how hot she is

yeah it's it's a pity because like she killed it new girl she's very funny in new girl she's very funny in not knocked up this is 40 she's like the assistant or whatever and she's like her comedic timing is very good and she is a very good actor and I'm bummed that like I don't know she just kind of got pushed aside because

Michael Bay's obsession with making her just like the sex object. So I hope I hope at some point in time we get a Megan Fox resurgence where she gets to to be as funny as she is. Well, she come on the podcast. It'd be real funny. Yeah. Megan Foxx. Come hang out with us.

Megan Fox buddies. We're not going to be weird. Well, not in the bad way. Yeah. Yeah. We do have an announcement though. We are no longer supporting Ed Shearer and we're no longer opening for his Toronto gig. Yeah.

We got to pull out. Just fuck that guy. Yes, we are giving up our spot on the Canadian portion of his tour. It was, look, hats off to him for bringing a podcast on as an opening act for a concert. Yeah, that was a wild move. It was a bold move, unfortunately. Some might say the second worst move he's done in the last couple days. And we're happy not to be the first.

Worst, worst. Yeah, no, we stand with McElmore. And we will open for you, McElmore. Yeah, Magelmore will open for you, buddy. You ready? Yeah, let's get into this show. This week we're going to talk about, am I overthinking at getting offended

because she's on birth control for her menstruation? Jesus, that just kept going, huh? Is Chubby a compliment? Would a three-night stand appeal to you? Explaining my mixed signals. Hell yeah, this is by Scandinavian Vickening. Oh. Scandinavian.

of Scandan avian, like bird. Like a bird. Vic, Vickening. Yeah. Is Vickening a bird? I don't know. Can they just not spell? It's definitely not Viking.

It's Viking. Was it supposed to be Viking? I don't know. What if Vickening's a bird and this is a really funny pun? Or what if this person was having a stroke while they were typing? Who knows? One or the other. 19 male.

Am I overthinking by being slightly offended when the girl I'm dating told me she's on birth control for her menstruation? My lovely girl, 20, Tinder. And we have been on three dates now. The last one just this evening. date went really well, but somewhere in the middle while we were in the restaurant, we got onto the topic of girl things. She told me she suffered. She told me she suffers.

Just stop the question here. The answer to the question is you should not be dating. Just go back to whatever fucking slime pool you've been gestating in and finish your fucking cocoon process into being a human being. Yeah. Yeah. She told me she suffers from severe menstruation pains. and she therefore takes birth control pills. I was, of course, very supportive.

I told her it's completely fine, I understand her. I do genuinely believe that. But my thoughts during the moment were directed differently. My initial reaction was, yay, no condoms. When I started thinking about it, I remember the fact I'd seen somewhere, which pretty much states that birth control bills make women both lose libido and be more attracted to soft men.

Later on the evening, we're heading to her flat. She told me she likes me because I'm calm and collected and not too energized. She found that uncomfortable and other guys she dated. Furthermore, she said she cries easily when men yell at her and that she in general is uncomfortable around men, like in pubs and football matches where there's a lot of men yelling. I really, really like her and I know she only meant everything she said as a compliment, but in the back of my mind, I feel emasculated. Obviously, I'm looking into it too much, but I can't help but feel a little patronized because she indirectly implied that I'm attractive because I'm not like the men she doesn't enjoy. Keep in mind, I'm technically considered manly based on physical attributes. like strength and muscles.

That's a great line. Hey, I'm technically considered manly based on physical attributes like strength and the muscles. Are they not the same? No. We made out in our apartment. But my worry is basically I wouldn't be considered manly enough if she came off her birth control. I know there isn't an actual problem here, but they hurt just a tiny little bit. What do you think?

Am I being silly? Man, this trend of people being like, I know this isn't a problem. Is this a problem though? It's a problem. But I am spiraling and I did make a giant post. about it on Reddit. It's what the fuck are you talking about? Like every step of the way you have just hit another domino in the, uh, the very cool design I've made in life where it just says, stop dating. What or everything you said is wrong. And every state, every turn that you make is

the wrong turn. Every conclusion you make is the wrong one. You're just doing a bad job across the board every time. Like, someone is literally put a t-ball in front of you and you're fucking whiffing. Here, you cannot hit this thing. It really just feels like they, everything's going right. And they're like, how about I take this one thing? And instead of turning left, like my GPS is telling me, I just drive off a fucking cliff. And at the bottom of the cliff is, how about I freak out about all of this for no fucking reason? Like, I'm on birth control because I get severe cramps. Cool. Wait a minute. Hold on. Are you? calling me a feminine? Like, what? Also, what are you, where are you reading that birth control?

A thing I heard somewhere makes women prefer weak men. What are you talking about? I have heard that. I have heard people talk about this because it changes your, your like hormones. And sometimes people have found, again, this is all like fucking he said, she said, I heard this blah, blah, blah. But like, it can change your your hormones and stop you being into like a certain kind of whatever, apparently. But like, I don't know that it's, it's less of a, it's changed by hormones and ergo I feel slightly different as opposed to I took birth control. Now I hate men that are powerful. I only like weak bitches. Also, like, it's funny for men. Look, if a woman, if I was dating a woman, and it's fairly new in the, you know, early days. And she says, hey, men scare me.

Like, typically large groups of dudes, I feel really uncomfortable. I'm, it makes me nervous. I'm scared, blah, blah, blah. And then she said, I feel comfortable around you. Is a nice compliment? The highest compliment. In this day and age, for a woman that I've just met to confess that she feels comfortable around me, that's all I want.

Whenever I'm in a space with another person, I want them to feel comfortable and safe. And that goes doubly so for women, people of color, queer people, like people who, who are at a higher level of, of, you know, being not safe and, and feeling uncomfortable, I want people to feel like I am a beacon of safety that like, if someone's

wrong, great, they can come to me and they know at least one person's got their back. That is very important to me. That is essentially like the core tenant of how I live my life of being like, I want to be the person that people know that they can come to if they need help. But then

when anyone says it to you, you go, wait, you don't think I'm scary in a threat? And then you get really upset and post on Reddit being like, look, I know it's not a big deal, but why isn't she scared of me? Why doesn't she think I'll hurt her? That's it, though, right? Like, the alternative is you're saying, oh, this woman isn't afraid of me. Yeah.

And that upsets me. I'm offended that this woman doesn't think I could hurt her. Yeah. That's an insane thing to think. Yeah. You don't want this. Yeah. But Dane, his strength and muscles.

Which is great because she still sees your strength and muscles and feel safe around you. That's an even higher compliment. This is so fucked and you need. Just back in your slime pool, honestly, Dane nailed it. You need to finish cocooning and turning into a human beautiful boy, which apparently, look, you're giving off the vibes, right? She, you feel like a safe boy to her, which is good, right? This is what we need as men to do. We want women and everyone to not be scared of us.

We want to start winning over the bear again and not the FX hit series. We could never beat the bear. We can't beat that. But we want people if they were if they see a bear in the woods to be scared and be like, hey, gentlemen, please help me from the wild animal. Which is funny because given even our strength and muscles can't do much against a bear unless we got the bear spray. But you know what? Look at the charts. What's there above us on the podcast charts?

Two fucking bears talking. And they're winning right now. Because of shit like this, right? You get your game back together. We're going to be back in those charts. The bears are going to be back where they belong in Mother Nature, rubbing up against trees and shit. Who gave them mics and why?

I don't even know how they're using any of this stuff. Making a podcast is hard work. How are the bears doing it? I know. Someone's helping them. Well, they don't need jobs. That's the thing. If we didn't need jobs, we'd be able to be up in the charts,

beating these bears, hashtag join our Patreon. Hold on, hold on. Oh, should we just become bears? That's a pretty good bear, man. Thanks. It's like a bad Chewbacca, but a good bear. That's what they say about me. You need to calm the fuck down.

This is like you've just decided to spiral for no fucking reason. You're shooting self in the foot. This is a girl who likes you. Feel safe with you. You're having fun. You made out at her house. Everything's good. You need to calm the fuck down.

Also, her menstrual pain is more important than your fragile ego. It's also not your, like, she, yeah. Also, maybe, maybe go with a better source than something I heard once somewhere. Get the fuck out of here. Back in the pool. Your look, how does it say old they are? They're young, right? He is 19. She is 20. Yeah. Your generation is having the least amount of sex that any generation has ever had. You're letting this down. It's true. It is true. Like, your generation is, so the fact that someone finds you attractive and is, uh, spurned to make out with you, you're already leaps and bounds above other people, right? But he's doing his, his darnest not to be.

He's like, oh, shit, in his hardest. Oh, no. Sex might be on the horizon. Time to lose my mind. Yeah. Chill the fuck out or make room for someone who's not a lunatic. Both here are two options. Yeah.

This is from board number and a bunch of numbers. Is chubby a compliment? I'm a 25-year-old female. Recently, I've been in a situation two times with two different men that I don't know if I'm the problem or if it's really like I just don't understand it. So I'm midsize girl. I don't consider myself big, but I'm not small. I like my body how it is and people tell me I'm beautiful. My body isn't the problem here. But today, match the guy that said to me, hey, happy to see you with a cowboy hat, not far away, chubby. And that knows. So this statement, I have no idea what the

fuck is happening. Right. I think the chubby part, but we'll talk about this in a second. So they say, hey, happy to see you with a cowboy hat, comma, not far away, dot, dot, dot, chubby, and that knows local restaurant. And local restaurant is like censored, like it's in brackets because I guess they don't want to docks himself. Yeah. My question is, is chubby a compliment? Like I said, I love my body.

But is it just me that isn't charmed by someone directly calling me chubby at first sentence? Or is it just me that doesn't really understand the meaning? Well, I guess it's pretty clear in this context that they're saying, happy to see you with a cowboy hat in the air and chubby. So it seems positive in given the sentence construction. Would I use the term chubby endearingly? I don't think so, especially not to like a stranger. I think if for some reason I was, I knew someone well enough that I knew that they found it endearing or something.

Maybe I would use it in that scenario. Or they like to call themselves that. Like I feel like the door needs to be opened. I wouldn't whip it out on a stranger. And if somebody called it me that, I don't think I would find that charming. I think I would be like, hey. Yeah. I mean, so I brought this because I think it.

I think it's a bad play to comment on anyone's body, especially on like dating apps, right? You can see what they look like. You know whether or not you are into it or not, right? Like, yeah. If you're into curvier girls, great. If you're into chubbier girls, cool. You know that, right? And if you're into someone skinny, sure.

I still don't think it makes sense to be like, hey, want to meet up? I like that you're skinny. It's like, it's implied. It's implied that you like how my body is because you've seen me on this visual. medium and say let's go out. Yeah. I don't think you win over anybody in like your bod so hot. Yeah. Because like even if you're like, hey, you got a fat ass and I'm an ass man.

Like it's weird no matter what you do. And I think there is a time and a place for a playful compliment to sort of, you know, send out the signals that you're your vibing on a higher frequency. For sure. But is that first message time? Probably not. No. No. It depends.

like what they're putting down, right? Like if someone has a picture of like, damn and, you know, the gym ass selfie, I'm sure you could probably be like, damn. If, you know, like you when you can reply to like the, it's like hinge where you can reply to the picture. Yeah.

If someone's really like, hey, the picture, the point of this picture is my ass. Maybe you could say something. But even then I think, I think it's low hanging fruit, right? I think everyone is a peach. Yeah. So I agree.

I don't think it. it's ever the best option. But like, I think that's pretty much the only situation in which I can make a pass for it. And even then, I think you're still going with the most boring run of the mill. Yeah, you're setting yourself up for failure. One, because if their body is remarkable in any way, they've probably heard it a thousand times. Right. Like they've heard this line and they've heard a comment about their body a million times. And maybe there are some people who are just on there to get compliments about their bang and bot. Cool. Great. You know, feed your ego, whatever you want. But if you're actively looking to sort of like seduce someone or charm someone or woo someone,

I do not think making comments about their weight, regardless of what it is. As now said, like, even just like commenting on someone's like skinniness is. That's super weird. There's like an inherent almost like judgment about it, right? Or fetishization about it. I have a friend who is Asian. She's an Asian woman. And she is like the second anyone mentions the fact that I'm Asian.

Yeah. In the first couple of messages, I'm out. I'm just out because it doesn't matter. Weird. Yeah. And if you're making it matter, that's really strange. And honestly, I find it very like, people who get really hung up on like pigeonholing people, even if it's not like a sexual thing.

I think it's just really weird. If you're like, oh, well, they're Irish, so they must act this way. And it's like, no, not people do different things. Yeah. Yeah. It's like people are not monoliths. And like, people also aren't your token fetish. So it's like, if you're weirdly into a certain type of person, like those type of people

don't need to bend to your idea of them. Usually misconceptions of those people. Slightly prejudiced. Yeah. Yeah. So it's, I don't think you're in the wrong for being uncomfortable about this band calling you chubby. I don't think that I don't think

that there's anything wrong with being like, because even if you are confident and I love that you're confident, right, I love that you are like, I like my body. I feel good at my body. I'm not going to change my body. I don't like this though. Yeah. For sure. Right. And even if, even if he means it well, which it seems like he does.

it doesn't mean that you have to take it well. It could mean it well if I'm like, I could say the most disgusting shit. Damn, she's a sexy bitch song. I'm trying to find the words not to be disrespectful. Well, you failed. And just because you're trying not to be disrespectful, it doesn't mean I have to take what you said as respect.

Yeah. You don't need to be the bitch in the sexy bitch. A flow rider? Uh, no. That's shit. One of them might also be another. It probably, I don't know. I don't know who it is.

We'll look it up in the break. Speaking of which, shit, let's go do that right now. And we're back. And it was ACON. It was David Gader. Yeah. David Gettar, I don't know, man.

David, is that how you pronounce it, Geta? Yeah. Oh, I always thought it was Gweta. Because there's a you in there. You know, it's really funny. The fact that that man's on every track and I don't think I could name a single song that he is. Like, I can't. Like, I know he's a big DJ, but like.

I'm sure. There's a very prevalent with David Geta. I'm sure I know. Yeah. A hundred of them. But, like, if someone was like, name one right now, other than, I don't even know what this one's called. Sexy bitch.

It's just called Sexy Bitch. I forgot to check. I did also just slide the arm of my chair in a way while you were, we were both speaking. So that's going to sound wild. Oh, yeah. Hell yeah. Why is it sell like you're like cocking a shotgun? I am.

Hell yeah. Dane. If you fuck with me one more time in this episode. Damn. You know the Paul Walker song? The Paul Walker song. Yeah, the one that plays when he like, you know. It's been a long time.

Yeah. Who's that? Is that David together? Where? I don't know, man. Okay, so it was a very weird moment. We got to take another break. Okay, guys, run the ads again. This is a really weird moment because I was at the Toronto Air Show a couple weeks ago.

And they had the snowbirds who were like the big famous like Canadian aerial performers. But like at one point they had this really old like war plane that was like a big boy. and it's one of only two remaining that can still fly. And I don't know if it was its last time flying or whatever, but they like escorted it in this very solemn, like, slow flight, because they're really fast planes, but it isn't because it's very big. And they played that song because there's like an air show radio.

It was really funny because they did the Paul Walker thing where like they rode along with it. And then as it like kicked in, they went one way and it just sailed off into the horizon. And there's like, why am I getting emotional over this like? old, this old war plane. Well, you know, was the snowbird last time, right? It was. I did know that. Yeah.

Which was kind of also emotional. It's crazy. As hey, as a Canadian, couldn't care less. Wow. And as a Toronto resident who used to live now down by the waterfront, I couldn't care less. To be fair, the snowbirds are actually not that loud. So you're just letting louder planes in now, Dan. I know.

You ready? Yeah. It's by Rasmataz, Sudden, 52, 93. Men ages 40 to 70. I brought this because you're aging rapidly. Jesus, yeah. Thank you. You're one of those numbers.

I'm going to be in that age category soon. So why not get you in there sooner? Men age 40 to 70. Would a three-night stand appeal to you? I'm a woman who is interested in intimacy, but not necessarily a traditional relationship. At the same time, a one-night stand feels too abrupt and anonymous for what I want. I've been thinking about proposing what I call a three-night stand.

The idea would be a deliberately limited experience of up to three dates involving intimacy. We would choose each encounter one at a time. Agreeing to the first would not guarantee a second. Agreeing to the second would not guarantee a third. Either person could stop at any point without pressure, resentment, or punishment. Condoms would be required every time. If we chose all three encounters, we would understand the third is a planned ending, not drift into ambiguity, make promises we didn't mean or disappear afterward.

Point would be to share something genuinely warm, pleasurable, and caring, without pretending it must become a conventional relationship. I want us to leave, not broken and bitter, but better. I would not advertise this on my dating profile or propose it before meeting. I would first meet the man publicly, see whether we had genuine in-person chemistry, and confirm the sexual interest was mutual. Only then would I explain the idea and see whether it appealed to him. I'm especially interested in responses from unattached man age 40 to 70,

because that reflects my actual dating pool by unattached. I mean, not married. I'm not currently in a committed partnership. No shit. Yeah. Women's perspectives are welcome to. Questions are, and we'll just run through these, I guess, the questions. Okay. What is your immediate reaction to the idea?

I don't hate it, but you have more or less described dating of being like, we go on a first date. And if we like it, we'll go on a second date. Hey, if we like that one, let's do one more. Like, that in concept is just dating. You're just deciding whether you want to keep seeing someone. The twist is that like you don't, you're choosing ahead of time that you will not see them again after the third, which if that works for you and it works for them, I'm not going to yuck your yum.

I just think that it's you, you enter into a dangerous territory of being like, eventually you're going to find someone who fucks you properly and you vibe with and you're going to want to see them again. And then you're going to be posed with the like, do I stick with this like philosophical, like, we leave and it's just, we're better for it. Or do you say, hey, actually this is dumb as fuck. I really like you. Let's keep hanging out.

At which point, you've just rediscovered dating again. That's the thing. It's like you've you've kind of just acted like you reinvented the wheel, whereas I guess you have reinvented it by just doing it again. But you've said an arbitrary end. And that's the point here is like you could just do this and end it whenever you want to, right? Whereas with this, it's like we have to date after two weeks. No, you should date when you want to date them. Adding just arbitrary numbers and timelines based on absolutely fucking nothing does not help you.

Because maybe you're on day two and you're not really vibing, but you're like, well, fuck it. It's, we're only going to be three anyway. I'll do one more. And then you kind of have a bad time again. Or you're having a good time. You reach day three and you go, oh, fuck. But I've already done this rigmarole, this fucking song and dance of like, oh, we can't do this. So do you miss an opportunity?

And it's also unfair to the person you're dating too, right? Like if you, if this person is enjoying himself and it's like, yeah, sure, we're doing three dates. Great. That's all I want to do anyway. Cool. And then you get to three and you're like, well, actually, so I've realized this is a bad idea. And now you've changed the dynamic.

Whereas if you instead, what I think you would like to do is you just say, hey, I'm not looking to get into anything serious. Yeah. That's what you're, what you're saying is like you and I think that's the problem, right? I think this person is of an age that they think that they aren't allowed to date casually because it's unbecoming. So they've come up with this like big, pray love fucking redesign of how dating works. It's like, no. What you want to do is you're busy or whatever, right? Like, you're, for whatever reason, you don't want to be in a long-term committed relationship.

That is totally fine. But you still want to get your fuck on. Also, cool. But, Dane, how can they do that when there's only two options and one is traditional relationship and the other one is one night stand? Yeah. That's it. There's two fucking paths, man.

Yeah. Like, you're also, if you're 40, I mean, I guess, does it say how old she is? No. So presumably, you know what? I'm going to say you're probably like, mid-50s if you're going up to 70, right? Like, I'm assuming you're not at the tail end of... You're not in your 30s, probably.

Yes. So I'm assuming you're probably in the, you know, the higher bracket or somewhere in the middle. And you, for whatever reason, feel like you can't date casually or you can't date without getting into a serious relationship. Like, I don't know who would be cool with this three-date structure who wouldn't also be cool with dating casually, right? Like, if someone pitch that to me, I'd be like, sure, or,

Maybe we just see each other until we don't want to see each other anymore. Yeah. Because determining that like, oh, after three dates, I will never want to talk to you. And like, I don't know. For me, I would just be like, well, okay, maybe. But like, I don't know. I feel like you've got to be. It would raise red flags to me because it's not a normal thing to do.

Because, again, it's arbitrary. It's based on nothing. So if there was a reason for this, sure, but there isn't. So I'm left thinking, what are you doing? Are you just doing things for no reason? Or are you so. A sweet November situation? Are you like...

Can I have no idea. I think it is. But like, is it you've so much baggage that you can't go past three days. It's just not normal and it doesn't serve you. And that's the thing. Don't do shit like this for no fucking reason.

Putting arbitrary time limits or numbers or goals or whatever on dating that have no bearing on reality does not serve you. It's not going to be good. Yeah. So see someone until you don't want to see them. Easy is that.

Keep a casual if you want. There is more to life than just monogamy and one night stands. There's actually, Like, when you look at the podcast name, are you like, what's they even meet? What's the fuck, buddy? Yeah. I'm sure you can figure this out in a roundabout way.

And I hope that you do. But like, I give it like two or three people before you find someone you genuinely vibe with. And then all of a sudden, you're spiraling into a fucking Diane Keaton, Jack Nicholson style fucking romcom in which you now need to like come up with a fake identity so that a new. A new woman can date this man, like fucking Mrs. Doutfire bullshit. Like, what are you doing? But then he's not into you because he's still pining after the woman who left after three dates. And you're like, shit. Yeah.

Yeah. I give it, I give it like a month before you find someone you want to spend more than three nights with. Or you meet people and they're like, what? Yeah. Or the other alternative is you meet people. And yeah, and they're like, no, that actually sounds stupid as fuck. Like, I don't want to do that. Again, I'm down for people having sex on the first date.

but like maybe you don't want to do that. So does that still count as one of the nights? Yeah. If you meet up and you can't or don't have sex, like is that fucking everything? Are you like, no, we dated. What does it mean? It's a two night stand now. Can you have a date and then fuck three times?

No. Three dates. That's it. It's me, isn't it? Who is you? I got to apologize. I'm going to struggle with this one. I read it several times and the writing is challenging.

Why do you always find the crazy? craziously written. I don't know, man. Even the chubby, the chubby question, I had to, I had to like do some, some rewriting in my head on the fly. But this one is particularly, maybe I just struggled with it. I don't know. It's, it gets, I think the problem is it's kind of vague posty as well, where it's a lot of like,

I said something and then they said something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we got to decipher. Okay. Let's just get into it. Should I text him again? Shuddies. Should I text him again?

and explain my mixed singles. This is from comfortable cow. So there is that guy. He is the brother of my friend. We were seeing each other during holidays. I wasn't quite sure his intention at the beginning, but I think he was hitting on me. So again,

when they say seeing, they weren't dating. They were just like visible. In physical space with this person. Yeah. We weren't dating, but I wasn't really sure what his intentions were. Yeah,

which I was like, what? But then I realized like they were just meant like in the, in the vicinity of him. But I think he was hitting on me. I turned him down a few times. I wanted to clear the air and just asked his sister about his intention.

But because the conversation started getting weird, I just said I'm not interested in her brother, which is a lie. She told me that he was just being friendly. I think it was more defensive mechanism rather than the truth. I talked to her later about it and cleared this up. I didn't want to talk to her about it anymore, but the sudden situation made me. And when I said I would be interested in her brother, she told me to text him. She also was asking why I said certain things, those that he might have interpreted as rejection.

Already, a lot. Already very bad. Anyways, she told me we can talk about it later, but I cited, I have to make things right on my own. So I texted him yesterday. I texted, do you have some free time? I really want to talk to you. And then he didn't answer me till today. It's been almost 24 hours. His sister is not contacting me, and I can't see absolutely no reason why he wouldn't

text me. What's more, our latest interaction was perfectly fine. He was driving me and his sister from the airport. He was engaging with me. He touched my hand a few times. And when I wanted to pay him, he said, just go to sleep. Don't talk about it now. And added, That's hot. That's hot. And added, we will see each other anyway. There is an upcoming mountain trip with their friends. Now I'm scared if the trip will even work out. I have no idea why he isn't texting me back. Even his sister told me it's safe to talk to him. Even though I rejected him a few times, he was still trying. Maybe now he is waiting.

What I will do if he doesn't text me? Maybe he wants to check if I really care. He is also very shy and nervous when he is around me. If he was just friendly, which I strongly doubt, he would answer to this message. I have no idea what to do. I did him wrong a few times. Should I text him and explain that? Can I veto this one?

Like, I'm tired, man. That one took it out of me. Yeah. And it's not even like crazy. It's not a challenging question. It's just, it's not challenging at all, but it is in another way, very challenging. You know what I mean? I, look, didn't she just say he replied today?

Yes. So what the fuck did he reply? What did he say? He did reply. What's going on? Did he say something not related to the question? She's like, oh, why didn't he respond? He did today.

It's been less than the day. What's the issue? And also, hey, let me tell you, if anyone texts me, do you have some free time? I really want to talk to you. You're not, like, I'm ignoring that. as long as possible. Yeah, because like maybe I'm free for texting, but am I free for whatever this is going to be? Probably not. So I'm waiting until I have my ducks in a row. If I'm at work, if I'm with friends, if I have plans, is it going to be an hour? Do I need to call my lawyer? What's going

on here? Also, I rejected him a bunch of times and lied to his sister about how I felt about him. Great start. Good job. Yeah, it's also unclear of like how often you see the brother. Like, is he there all the time? Is he like part of the friend group? Or is he, is he? Is he, like, part of the friend group? or is he just kind of the brother that's around something? Like, it's also what age? Please tell me this person's like 12. There's no age, unfortunately. Because it feels like some high school bullshit.

Yeah. The like, oh, what's your brother doing? Is he flirting with me? I'm not interested in him, though. Like, what are you doing? What do you mean? Yeah, it's weird that she's like, I want to, I lied to him. I said, I'm not interested.

I've rejected him. Also, like, how do you reject him if he never made his stance clear? You know what I mean? Like, how do you want to get someone if they haven't asked? I wasn't quite sure his intention at the beginning, but I think he was hitting on me. I turned him down a few times. Yeah, turning him down a few times. Like, what was he doing?

What was he doing? What did you go on a date? You were like, no. Or was he like, hey, how are you going? How are you doing? Didn't reply. Like, I feel like there's, there's some mixed messages here. Something has happened.

It's not quite right. Well, it's funny. The question is, should I text him and explain my mixed signals? I think you should text us and explain your mixed signals to us. Like, what the hell are you talking about? I was like, I understand why this man might be confused. If this is... Yeah, I'm confused.

And this is the gloves are off, like, tell all expose. Yeah. I think you got to wait. Surely, he, okay, he messaged you today. Surely he was like, yes, what do you want to say? And now you're like, I don't know. Just be like, hey, and tell him, I don't understand what the issues. Until today.

Yeah, he answers you to the answer. He answering me. Like, he is, I assume the new thing that isn't being answered is, like she explained all this. But then I, hey, knowing this person, I do not, in fact, agree with that. I bet he was like, hey, what's going on? She was like, not much you. Yeah, a hundred thousand.

She has not brought us up. Turned him down again. Sorry, I'm not interested, Brent. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, it is also just weird to be like, I turned him down so I could talk to the sister. Talk to the sister, lied to the sister. Sister told me whatever.

Then I talked to the sister. Then she was like, yeah, text him. But now the sister won't talk to me. And I don't want to talk to the sister. It's like, you're making this hard mode for no. Yeah. You and first question guy would be the best. And by that, I mean, worst couple imaginable. But out of the dating pool. And I feel like at this point in time, we do need to start shackling bad people together and be like, well, like for medical reasons, we could not shackle them together. Because when they both spiral, they just take off into the sun. Well, stick them on to like a rod and now we have perpetual energy, right? Turbines? Just all these people. We've solved the energy crisis. We've solved. We've solved. all the energy crisis. There's nothing cleaner than the energy of two people spiraling for no fucking reason. Yeah. Yeah. Beautiful. Look, you need to just fucking start being clear with yourself,

with the sister, with the guy. And also, how do we not know? You've got to be young and based on all of this, you have to be for my own sanity. So how do you not know the meme of the phrase, can we talk? We need to talk. Like, how do you not know that is the most anxiety? That is the most anxiety-inducing most like, oh fuck, text to get from anyone. Like, nothing good, no fun conversation comes from that. Even if it's good, right? Like, even if it's a good conversation, it's still the worst way to initiate it. Yeah.

I would say almost if it is a good one, it's a worse. It's worse if it's a good conversation. If it's a bad one, it still sucks, but at least you've kind of set expectations. Whereas you've just added suffering for no reason to what is a good conversation. You just got to be straight up. You got to be honest. Tell them how you're feeling. Stop lying to yourself on others.

Like, you're not doing yourself any favors by being coy and, like, mischievous with your answers. Just be straight up. Your life is going to be better. Yeah. I feel like every millennial has had to have a conversation with their parents about the, like, text me when you can. Oh, yeah. Like, I'm fucking.

The best is like, my mom does it all the time. Or she did. They, but parents have learned after many, like, frantic phone call on a Saturday night when it's like, you know I'm at work. So why would you text me, please call when you can to tell me about, you know, a cool cat food sale at Costco or, you know what I mean? Like, why? You know, I think that like one of you was in like dire straits or some shit. If you're going to text me that on a Saturday that you know I'm working. Yeah. You are achieving nothing by pretending to not be into this person and then also lying to your friend about it and then also being coy with him about it and not being to write. You say like, oh, you want to explain. yourself, then do that. You don't need to be like, hey, can I tell you something? Wait for a response. Just send him a text, right? If it's important to you to clear the air, clear the

fucking air. Yeah. It pisses me off so much when someone's like, hey, can I talk to you? Just send what you want to fucking send. Just say what you want to say. Because like, if I say no, like, you kind of, it's like, yeah, sure. Send me like, I don't have an option of just send it. And if they want to respond to you, they'll respond to you. If they don't, then like, whatever. But also, I bet you fucking money that this person, has started this conversation now waiting for him to explain himself when it was, you know what I mean? I bet you anything they're not leading with.

Hey, here's the situation. They're probably like, Hey, so you go. I bet you. Yeah. So just think,

all of this could have been avoided if you were just honest about your shit. So going forward in life, just do that. And then you'll be the better for it. And maybe, we haven't really touched on this. Maybe dating your friend's brother. Yeah.

Not a great idea. Not a great scene. Also, like, how old is this brother? Because it feels like he's older. I definitely get the older vibe, yeah, like picking them up in the airport, that kind of thing. Maybe it's a couple years or whatever. But like your friend, you're like, oh, I felt like she was defensive about it.

Yeah. Maybe that should be your sign of being like, maybe I shouldn't do this unless you don't give a shit about your friend. To be fair, I don't like you should do it anyway because you haven't done a good job so far. I don't trust that you have the maturity to do this properly, especially not while also handling the fact that his sister is your friend. Yeah, because it seems like you're going to tell your sister or your friend one thing. And then it's like, if he's like, hey, have you seen Rebecca lately?

And you're just like, I'm avoiding your brother because he did something. But like tell, you know what I mean? Like it's, I don't know. It's going to be messy. You seem like a hot mess when it comes to communication. So we need to work on that first. Yeah. You got to stop.

You have to fucking stop. You knock it off. All right. Let's, let's blow through this real quick. It's been a long time. No, don't make me cry about the plane again. No. He flew so strong.

This is by, I love karma. Should I stop seeing a guy who didn't get me anything for my birthday? But talking to this guy for three weeks. We're in college. I haven't went on any dates, even though he claims he is interested exclusively. He claims to be struggling financially and always calls himself broke. But I see him buying food and weed multiple times a week. The 20th birthday came around.

He didn't get me a gift. I know he's only just been talking. I felt pretty offended because every time he comes over, I give him food, snacks, offer him hell of stuff that I buy. And I know for a fact I was. gotten him a gift if it was his birthday. This is it crazy for me to be upset. I'm thinking about cutting him off.

Please be kind. Look, are you upset about it? Then be upset about it, right? Like, I don't, whether you, whether it's like, if, if this is important to you, if you're, feel like you guys are at a point in your relationship, despite the fact that you've only been talking to each other for three weeks, no date relationship. Yeah. It's like if you, like, if you would have gotten him a gift at this point and he didn't get

you a gift at this point and you're upset about that, then move on. You know what? I guess you're coming at it from a point of like, it's better for the dating pool if you just get out of the situation and like a mismatch in values. Yeah. I just want to tell you you're wrong. I don't care.

I'm just going to choose violence. You're incorrect. This is a stupid thing for you to feel. Maybe you feel that way, right? Sure. You probably should break up for their sake and your sake. It's been three weeks. You haven't been any fucking dates and he's poor.

Instead of like scoping him in the cafeteria being like he bought food, he needs that. The weed, sure. But like, you don't know. This is ridiculous. He could have glaucoma. He could. He could.

And the thing is, it's like usual dating advice would be to not get somebody a gift this early because it would be taken poorly. That's it. Right. So like, he's kind of doing the normal thing. And like, you're expecting something out of the usual. And now you're fucking spiraling over that, which I think is unfair. So like, step out of your own ass for a second and just like think about this from other

perspectives. I guess it also depends on what you expect, like what you're saying you would have liked. Like, are you saying like, it would be nice if he brought me. a cupcake, right? Like, if that's what you, like, if you guys are hanging out and you're always giving him food and you're like, oh, it's my birthday this day and you hung out on your birthday and he like made no effort to do something special for you. Yeah. I get it. Right.

Like, it would have been nice. If he's got a meal card and he's fucking buying food, like maybe buy you a bag of little chips or something. You know, like, bring your favorite snack. Like, sure. But like, let's, but if you're expecting a fucking Apple watch or like like a new phone or some shit, if you're. expecting a jewelry after you haven't gotten on this admittedly broke boy also what do you mean you haven't been on a date yet and you say you give him food when he comes over i assume they mean like they haven't gone out but still it's like are you hooking up every day are you like hanging out

every day are you watching movies like those are dates to a degree it just calm to fuck down I'm so done but again if this is if you're that upset about it if you think this is like the worst thing and you want to cut him off like he's already in such a hole in your mind that he doesn't even know about. Yeah. That like now you're just going to be petty about shit with him. Yeah. For no reason. And he's going to have no idea why

you're upset, right? And you can't explain it because can you imagine trying to do this? And that's what I like to say to people. It's like, imagine explaining why you're annoyed about something to someone and does it sound ridiculous in your head? Yeah. Just like, rerun this question and be like, hey, I know we haven't gone on a

date yet and I know we've only known each other for three days or three weeks. And I know we've only just kind of like started talking to each other, but you didn't give me a birthday gift. Do you feel confident saying that to another human being? Yeah. Or do you feel a little like, oh. Or are you like, yeah, no, that would come off as crazy.

Then, yeah. Yeah. Maybe. If you're upset about this, as Dane said, by all means, leave them. Should you be upset about this? No. Did he even know it was your birthday? That is also a very good question.

So this is like my stance of being like, if you have dropped that it's your birthday repeatedly to him. And like you're hanging out, I think a little something would have been fine. Like, I don't know if I would have shown up empty handed to someone's birthday, like, that I was seeing and wanted to romantically woo. But like, that's a very specific situation of like, I've let you know it's my birthday. Me and you are hanging out for my birthday. And even then, I could still forgive him for not doing it. I just could very much understand if he did do it. You need to calm down. Yeah. You need to calm down. You. You know, being too loud.

Yeah. That's gonna do it. Taylor Swift reference. I don't actually yell at women for being loud. I actually think you should take up space vocally, physically, in whichever way you believe. I'd like to say shuddies. We love you guys. Thanks coming by.

If you want to support the show, you know how to do it by now. And if you don't, it's head over to that Patreon. Sign up. If me and Dane can make enough money that we leave our jobs, we'll beat the bears. to the woods and live our lives as bears. Yes. Yes. The podcast will only get better.

Man, I want to hug a bear so badly. Man, they're so fucking cute. I keep getting like my, my current algorithm right now is, is bears hugging people. It's like, it's called a bear hug, right? For a reason. Damn.

I want to be hugged by a bear. Like there's one of a guy who was measuring the bear and he, like, put his arms around to like get the, get the measure tape around. And the bear just hugs them. It's so sweet. And then they killed him. No, they would never. They tossed his limp boneless body around like a bowling ball.

My favorite meme is, if bears are so dangerous, explain this. And it's just pictures of their ears. Yeah, that's pretty fair. Little fluffy guys. Yeah, they're very cute. We should be buds. It's very sad. I keep getting a lot of baby beaver content and I am so here for that because they're hilarious.

They're very demanding. Beavours make crazy noise. They just sound like a dog's chew toy. Yeah. And I'm like, that's kind of crazy that we've been training our dogs to go after baby beavers this whole time, but I mean, that is what the squeaky toys are meant to simulate. It's like the, I know, but it's specifically a baby, baby beaver. Like, I've had baby animals of various descriptions. None of them, maybe they're like high pitch, but they don't sound quite like a chew toy,

but a baby beaver, it's like they fucking recorded one, just threw it in there. This is our animal. We're now doing a podcast with a podcast. Us getting, like, distracted from our own self-promotion. Damn it. We suck. This is why we'll never beat the bears. It's why we'll never beat the bears. Because you think they're on their podcast looking at our ears? I don't think so. Not at all. They can't even see them. Look at this.

Yeah. He's shitty over ear headphones. We can't even upgrade. Because we need more patrons. I don't think you want to upgrade. I think over the year is. Shut the fuck up, Dan. I think that is what you do.

Shut the fuck up. We love you guys. Please join our Patreon. And if you don't want to, please support us other ways. Give us a review. Give us a five star rating. Share us. Comment on a video.

Like a video. Send in your sexy digging advice questions. Tell a friend. Post about us on Reddit. But you know. You know. We love me. Thank you very much.

You're ready for some bad sex writing? Thank you, Josh. Engel, No, Ivers for the song Paper Stars. Yeah. This is by Mary Costello in the book, The River Capture. He clung to her, crying, and then made love to her and went far inside her, and she begged him to go deeper and no longer afraid of injuring her. He went deep in mind and body among crowded organ cavities, past the contours of her lungs and

liver, and shimmying past her heart, he felt her perfection. No. Get out of me. Yeah, no, you've got too deep. Imagine you're like, oh, deeper. He's like, okay. Just fucking Santa Claus is up your Terrible.

Am I imagine some shimmying past your heart? I can feel that and it's not good. Yeah, this is, yeah, I'm playing a game that's very like horary and eldritchie kind of. And I imagine this is, yeah, like the idea of someone like finding its way into the space between your organs. Also, there's not a lot. Like, believe it or not. We're pretty jam-packed in there. We're fucking stacked.

Like, do you know how many intestines we have? A lot. That's a lot. Remember when you said it was like 400 miles or something? Was that you? I would never say something that wrong. Anyway, get out of my body, weird man. Get out of there right now.

Yeah, get out. My name's Day Miller. Get out of my body. That was me going inside your body. We bring your fuck buddies. Bye.