Feel Better, Live More with Dr Rangan Chatterjee - #121 How To Break Free From The Limitations Of Your Mind with Peter Crone

Episode Date: July 14, 2020

CAUTION ADVISED: this podcast contains swearing. Today, I welcome Peter Crone, aka ‘The Mind Architect’ back to the podcast. Peter is a writer, speaker and thought leader in human potential. He has worked with world-famous actors, athletes and the business elite yet what he has to say is just as likely to resonate with the average person, seeking to feel more comfortable in their own skin. His mission is to help people live life without limitations and stress. What he offers instead, is a life of freedom and peace. And who wouldn’t want that? I think that’s why my last conversation with Peter back on episode 82 was one of the most popular conversations I have had to date.  Peter acknowledges that people struggle and the human experience is challenging but he offers a different way to look at life and your current problems. He believes our subconscious dialogue – the self-talk that’s rooted in childhood conditioning and that we may not even be aware of – gives us a certain idea of who we are. By questioning this, and realising it’s not the truth, we can find freedom from suffering. We can get to know the triggers that make us feel less-than, and break free of our limitations.  If you heard my last conversation with Peter, you’ll know how life-changing his philosophy can be. This conversation has even more anecdotes that will help you apply Peter’s philosophy into your life. This is a really powerful conversation and I hope it helps you to find more freedom in your life.  Show notes available at: https://drchatterjee.com/121 Follow me on instagram.com/drchatterjee/ Follow me on facebook.com/DrChatterjee/ Follow me on twitter.com/drchatterjeeuk DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The way that people currently live is they look for solutions and strategies for the most part to problems which is very logical right if I have a weight problem or if I have a relationship problem or I have a finance problem I want to find solutions to my problems and as far as I'm concerned that's a very archaic method of trying to find relief because what you're actually doing is reinforcing the belief that you have a problem. So what I'm appealing to is what if there was a different way to access freedom that was actually more of a process of dissolution than solution. The freedom I speak of is more like a spiritual freedom. It is awakening to the true essence of who we are beyond the facade of our sort of human persona. Hi, my name is Rangan Chatterjee.

Welcome to Feel Better Live More. Hello and welcome back to what is officially the final podcast of the current season. I think my team and I have released an episode every single week and sometimes twice a week since last September and I realised about a week ago that I really needed and wanted to take a break. Now, I try and juggle this podcast around all of my other work responsibilities, but it really has become like a full-time job. And I have to say, it's a job that I absolutely love. Now, if you're a regular listener, you will know that the most important thing to me is spending time with my family. And that's why I am taking a summer break from the podcast. I want to switch off from the constant demands of putting out a weekly show.

And frankly, so does my wife, who is the producer of the show. For me, it's really important to ring fence some time each year where I can devote my full attention to my family. And I hope that the summer break allows me to switch off, relax and reflect. There's no need to worry, the podcast is not going anywhere at all. There are of course 120 past episodes for you to listen to or re-listen to. And right at the start of September, we will be back as per usual. But I can tell you I've already got some fantastic guests lined up for the next season including Wim Hof also known as the Iceman and Professor Tim Spector. Now today's conversation is a really special one, and I think it's a fitting end to what has been a monumental season of conversations that matter.

The message within it is really powerful and one that we can all benefit from reflecting on over the summer. My guest is Peter Krohn, who's also known as the Mind Architect. Peter Crone, who's also known as The Mind Architect. This is his second appearance on the podcast. And his first one, episode 82, is one of the most listened to and shared podcasts that I have ever released. And I think that's because Peter has a knack of getting to the heart of the issues that hold so many of us back. Peter is a writer, he's a speaker, and a thought leader in human potential. He's worked with world-famous actors, athletes, and the business elite. Yet what he's got to say is just as likely to resonate with the average person on the streets who is seeking to feel more comfortable in their own skin. His mission is to help people

live a life without limitations and stress. What he offers instead is a life of freedom and peace, and who wouldn't want that? Peter acknowledges that being a human being is challenging. We all face struggles and difficulties. What he offers though is a different way to look at life and your current problems. He believes that it is our subconscious dialogue that gives us our ideas of who we actually are. And this dialogue is rooted in childhood conditioning and the self-talk that we may not even be aware of. Now we cover a lot of ground in this conversation, but it is filled with relatable examples that will help us all implement Peter's ideas into our own lives. That his approach is not to try and strategize and solve problems, but instead to dissolve them, and in doing so, get rid of the problem altogether.

Simply putting a question mark at the end of your ideas about yourself can often open up space to realise it's never a truth, it's just an opinion. Now, if you heard my last conversation with Peter, you'll know how life-changing his philosophy can be. And of course, some of the things we cover today are the same, because Peter's philosophy remains the same. However, there are plenty more anecdotes in this conversation that will help you apply and reapply his philosophy into your own life. Today's conversation was recorded in Los Angeles just

days before it became clear that we were at the start of a global pandemic. And at the time of recording, we certainly had no idea as to the scale of the impact that was about to ensue. This is a really powerful conversation, and I hope it helps you find more freedom in your life. Now, before we get started, I do need to give a quick shout out to some of the sponsors of today's show who are essential for me to put out weekly episodes like this one. I'm delighted that my favorite meditation app Calm are one of the sponsors of today's show. Now today's conversation is about gaining freedom in your minds and I think meditation is one of the most helpful and impactful things we can do in this regard. Regular practice helps us to be less reactive and allows us to put some space between the stresses in our life

and our response. In essence, it helps us to get better at choosing a different and less reactive response. It can help our mood, our sleep, it can reduce feelings of anxiety, and it can even enhance productivity. But many of us find meditation super tricky, as did I. Now, Calm is a meditation app that makes meditation easy. All you have to do is load up the app and play the meditation of your choice. I start most mornings with a Calm meditation. Now Now in my book, The Stress Solution, I wrote about the three M's that a well-structured morning routine should contain. The first M is mindfulness.

And I managed to take that off by doing a meditation on the Calm app as soon as I wake up. If you have been thinking about trying meditation, or if you've tried before but have fallen off the wagon, I would highly encourage you to check out the Calm app. Right now, listeners of my podcast get 25% off a Calm premium subscription at calm.com forward slash live more. That's calm.com forward slash live more.

40 million people have downloaded Calm. You can find out why at calm.com forward slash live more. Zendium Toothpaste are also sponsoring this week's show. We're becoming increasingly aware of the bacteria inside our guts for our immune health. But have you ever thought about the bacteria inside your mouth? Well, the oral microbiome is your mouth's most powerful defense system. It's a delicate ecosystem that needs the right balance of bacteria to stay healthy. An unbalanced microbiome can contribute to dental problems.

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So Peter, welcome back to the podcast. Thank you. Take two, the sequel. Take two, the sequel. Yeah, I've not had that many repeat guests actually i think only maybe only rich roll so far so you are you may well be the second guest depending on when this comes out yes he's come back i take that as a great compliment thank you well you should do actually because the episode we did together yeah the last one yeah it's probably one of my most shared episodes ever wonderful now it's really interesting i'm very lucky a lot of people listen to the podcast each week yeah but there are some episodes

that really strike a chord with people and you see it being shared for weeks and months afterwards and your episode with me certainly is one of those okay wonderful that's why i look at that i think well why is it that an episode like that yeah makes people want to share it and say things like i really understand my life i understand why i make certain choices yeah yeah and i think for me that speaks to the power of the mind yeah which is what you're all about right absolutely 100 but i'd love to hear your thoughts peter as someone who you know is a mind architect why do you think that episode has such impact um i think it's because you know i'm a brit with decent teeth and people were confused i'm all kidding aside i i i mean i'd like to think it's just because I'm speaking to

an aspect of every human being, which is that we ultimately have a lot of things in common, right? On the surface, there's suffering as a broad statement, like suffering is with emotions and relationships and health and finances people struggle the the human experience is um challenging and so i think there's a degree of resonance that people can hear that i'm speaking to that i'm honoring that i'm showing compassion and acceptance for that while simultaneously giving them access to what i call this different paradigm, this world that's on the other side of our subconscious constraints. So the way that people currently live is they look for solutions and strategies for the most part to problems, which is very logical, right? If I have a weight

problem, or if I have a relationship problem, or I have a finance problem, I want to find solutions to my problems. And as far as I'm concerned, that's a very archaic method of trying to find relief, because what you're actually doing is reinforcing the belief that you have a problem. So what I'm appealing to is what if there was a different way to access freedom that was actually more of a process of dissolution than solution, which is one of my sort of catchphrases, I said, and solve people's problems, I dissolve them. So, so I would assert that's why what I had to share really resonated with people, because we're all human, we're all doing the best we can. And yet there is this profound, deep knowing that things

could be a lot better. And there is a different way to look at life. And I like to give people new eyes to look at whatever they can currently think their problems to be such that they find immense freedom from them so and who doesn't want that so yeah who doesn't want that and i think that that term freedom which is what you offer people is something we should definitely redefine a little bit at the start of this conversation yeah um you know a lot of people will be listening thinking i mean you're talking about freedom but i am free yeah exactly i'm free in my life so how can you offer me freedom yeah no it's a great question and a lot of people do feel that and i don't want to take that away from

them the sort of freedom i'm talking about is freedom from suffering freedom from the limitations constraints of our subconscious which again again, I'm going to assert everybody has. It's just part of this dimension of planet Earth and being here as a human being. We're going to have our own perceived limitations and constraints. So the freedom I speak of is more like a spiritual freedom. It is awakening to the true essence of who we are beyond the facade of our sort of human persona. So every problem anybody has, as far as I'm concerned, belongs to the idea of themselves. So over time, and we'll get into this, I'm sure, today through the conditions of our childhood and these caregivers from our mums and dads who aren't bad people, they're doing the best they can, but we're going to be triggered into we're're not enough, and we did something wrong, or we're bad, and we're failures, all of these things

that we have to experience on our journey, then what happens is what was for a child pure possibility of being alive sort of became increasingly less possibility. And that then becomes resignation and cynicism and struggle and depression. And then that leads to the myriad of different methods we use to seek, you know, relief from depression or suffering. And so freedom to me is freedom from that whole bucket of pain and misery. Peter, you see as clients, you know, some of the most successful people out there. You know, we talked about your story last time. as clients yeah um you know some of the most successful people out there yeah you know we talked about your story last time we talked about how you used to train tom cruise and nicole kidman

yeah um how you you you help people with their mind you know top sports stars basketball players golfers business executives yeah it's really interesting you have a lot of high performers coming to see you yeah and you help them unlock things so, you know, they can be freer. They can actually live the life that they're meant to live. Yeah. I'm really interested. For people at home who don't fall into that category. Yeah.

Are there things that you do with these high performers that they can also do in their own life that's going to help them. 100%. And look, I may well work with high-end performers in different things, you know, from sports to business to entertainment, but performance is a word that I would ascribe to any human being, a stay-at-home parent, mom or dad, you know, a kid going into his first year at secondary school, or like everybody's performing at some level. So performance is sort of just a big catch all for the fact that as a human being, you're doing something. And what I like to help people is to do it at a greater sense

of efficiency and joy and productivity. So whether you're, you know, pitching for the New York Yankees with a lot of pressure because of, you know, not only the thousands of people watching in a stadium, but the millions of fans and the millions of dollars at stake, or you're somebody who's moving to a new town, and you don't know many people and you're trying to find your way that that's still for me falls under the umbrella of performance so how do i help people well first of all recognize where do you get triggered right that's the that's the gift i use an expression as one of my quotes i say life will present you with people and circumstances to reveal where you're not free so if ever you get upset by something or someone, that's the thing to look for.

That's almost like, well, there's the treasure that is the pathway to discover some more freedom. Because if you're unable to sit with or be with a circumstance, then what I assert is life is showing you where there's an opportunity for you to become a more powerful human being. So if your mother-in-law or your uncle or your brother or your dad or whoever it is or your boss upsets you, then what I would invite people to look at is what is the perceived threat, right? Because if we look at it really in terms of physics, somebody's doing something or somebody's saying something, but our brain is perceiving either of

those activities as a threat if we get upset. If we're not getting upset, then we're basically saying that's fine. They can do and have their opinion and they can take whatever choices in terms of actions they want. But wherever we get triggered to some sort of emotion, negative emotion, that's what I would ask both my clients and your listeners to go, okay, I got upset by this event. So what is it that is being triggered in me? Because all the fear is in me that is causing that reaction. And that's the tool, right? It's like, wow, if I'm upset by a circumstance, then I have an opportunity to find more freedom.

And I think that word opportunity is very out there, isn't it? Because many of us, and I absolutely did this in the past as well, would look at a situation where someone, we perceive someone to, someone has upset me, for example. Yeah. And we often look to them saying, you know, their behavior is upsetting me. If they change their behavior, I wouldn't be upset. And that I think is what most people think.

Now, when you go through this process, and I've not had the pleasure of working with you, but I've gone through my own process. It's funny for me, one of the biggest shifts in my life over the past at least 12 months yeah at least 12 months is decided if anything triggers me in life yeah that's an opportunity yeah to self-examine yeah instead of shunning it away and pretending it's not happening yeah it's about leaning into it yeah i go hey what's this teaching me because you're right if you were completely at ease with the situation it wouldn't trigger you and the example i use for

people um and it's something i use for myself like social media can be a toxic place yeah you know there's there's many benefits of it but certainly some people get triggered a lot some people find other people offensive yeah um you know or in the past you know i have some sort of public profile you know people will take shots at you for particular things and in the past it might have upset me whereas now i use it as a mirror yeah let's go hey why why are you being triggered by that comment okay because i can't control what someone else is doing right right so it's like well what is going on inside me yeah and sometimes it can be easier to figure out than at other times right so how do you know if people want to use that because i think that phrase you say is brilliant um thank you if people want to use that and go

okay look so if i'm being triggered at some point in my life yeah by my brother by my wife by my colleague by my boss whoever you know you can fill in the gap for whoever you want basically instead of looking to them it's about looking to yourself how does someone do that by first of all listening to something like this whether it's us or reading a book or another workshop or another podcast where they're at least starting to become aware of the illusion because even in your own language you said well you know that person upset me yeah now that totally from a human perspective and we're all human doing the best we can so first of all there's compassion but secondly that is how it it seems right like no well why are you upset well so and so did something orso did something or so-and-so said something. That's just everyday common conversation.

But it's an illusion because nobody upset you. Somebody did something or said something, and then that triggered the upset that was already in you. Or if you said earlier about social media, somebody found somebody's page or post offensive. Well, that again is revealing not so much what's going on over there in the post or the social media but rather what is it about my beliefs that are in conflict with somebody else's self-expression now peter some people are gonna be pushing away at this point they're gonna be

hearing this and going what on earth are they talking about, look, that guy has been mean. So therefore I am upset. Yes. Right. So, so when you can see through that and when you move beyond that and you understand, and I say that with compassion, right? I'm not saying that as like, I'm not sitting on a high horse and saying, you know, it's just, there is freedom on the other side. When you figure that stuff out, when you realize that it's a mirror back to you yeah for me i think that's where growth happens i think that's where where freedom lies that's where peace lies yes but what about someone i mean you need awareness first right i mean what

what if someone just doesn't get it what would you say to them um well that's what i'm saying like through you know you sharing work and doing these podcasts with people and there's obviously nowadays millions of podcasts out there where people are talking on similar subjects that we start with awareness and be gentle with ourselves because what especially in my work what i'm doing is i'm taking these deep deep subconscious patterns which are primal meaning that they are deep in our dna their survival mechanisms then we're bringing what was subconscious to conscious so it's like like, oh, wow, I can see that I have a pattern. I have a tendency. I have a conditioned response to a particular

external stimulus. So I take myself, for example, because then I'm happy to be vulnerable about my own arc of freedom. So for me, what was a trigger was anything that was a value that was potentially going to leave me right now. That's a general term, but it could be a's financial wealth it could be their their status in a company it could be their home like anything that we put any sort of sense of worth upon it's a human tendency to be worried about losing that right now the stock markets are crashing everywhere because of the fear of the virus and so many people are going to be in a state of fear and reaction because they're losing something so that would be the opportunity okay what is the threat or their perception is that they're losing something yes and some people may literally be losing something right but loss is a again that's a deeper distinction right form comes and goes is the way i talk about it

um i i could say i've lost a lot of money on the stock market. I have relative to my portfolio, but it was always in my portfolio. So did I really have it? Do you know what I mean? It's like, so again, that's an example where many years ago, I would have been in a mild state of panic or concern, which would have been normal. It's human. It's okay.

But now it is like, okay, it could be mildly frustrating. It's not what I want, but it's a different relationship to the same external stimulus so so it's just to answer your question we've got to bring awareness to what is the subconscious pattern that i have based on my primary caregivers of mom and dad or high school or you know kindergarten or wherever we learned these survival mechanisms so that now i can find responsibility because that's really what we're talking about here is either I'm a victim of life where like you said somebody upset

me well now you're a victim of your circumstance or I'm 100% responsible for my my relationship to life because as Shakespeare said you know nothing is either good nor bad only thinking makes it so now if you really understand that it's beautiful right so nothing actually is quote-unquote good or bad it is entirely our own interpretation that is superimposed our own narrative that we're we are positioning on top of an event or a person and so that becomes the world of i and at the most deepest level the ego or the identity or the persona, its main objective is to be right about itself. And that's, for me, I joke and I laugh with compassion, again, because people are doing the best they can. But when you really get it, people are arguing for their limitations.

They're saying, no, watch me screw this up. Or, oh, it was too good to be true. Like when these sort of generalized comments are thrown out there, what you're actually saying is, I'm reinforcing my own belief that things don't work out for me. So it's mad that we argue for inadequacy, we argue for insecurity, we argue for scarcity. And that to me is, you know, it's very human, And that to me is, you know, it's very human, but it's also such a disservice to the immense possibility that it is to be human once you break out of these very primal limitations. It can sometimes be easier to see these patterns in other people. Without a doubt.

It's blatantly obvious when it's somebody else, when it's you it's like yeah and i mean you you shared some of your own um sort of journey there and like the people who heard the first podcast um yeah you shared how you lost your mom when you were seven years old correct yeah you lost your father in the zubruga ferry disaster when i was 17 yeah when you were 17 that is a rough start in life yeah you know certainly most people would say that is a super rough start yeah okay and then if you're saying that there is a feeling of people who I love yeah whether it's parents or you mentioned a girlfriend leaving yeah is that your subconscious programming that is affecting your conscious thoughts like is that something you've had to work on a hundred percent and is it stuff that you've had to or you managed to work on yourself or because it's hard to see ourselves have you has mr peter crone

the minor arcocet needed to get help in order to do that both and i think the greatest form of help is life yeah right which goes back to my comment about like life will present you with people and circumstances to reveal where you're not free so where was i not free around the fear of loss but where was the fear of loss within me right so if we look back at when this one girlfriend was you know sort of a catalyst for my own quote-unquote awakening where i started all of my work this is now like 20 something years ago where i first had what you know we would as humans call the experience of love you know and there's puppy love and we have all these different connotations of love but for

me there was a significant connection with somebody. And so at the time, it seems devastating, doesn't it? It's like, oh no, like my whole world is falling apart. So that was the catalyst. That was what revealed. So that was the help that I got was this particular girl leaving. But it wasn't that the love was over there. It was that life set me up for success, right?

Because if she hadn't left, I wouldn't have to look at what is the deep-seated fear within me. And that's what I assert we're all here. This dimension of planet Earth, it is an incredible paradigm for us all to have to face the constraints that we arrived with, right? And this starts to sound a bit esoteric. But for me, I would assert we arrive with all of our bucket of fears and concerns and then life for your your own personal movie of life will have all the cast of characters and circumstances that you need to have to face your fears and limitations now if you play that game actually when you get

triggered and upset it's going back to what we said earlier it's a wonderful opportunity but most people don't look at it that way they look at fear and adversity as a pain in the rear, and I'm going to do everything to avoid it, which is why people don't actually go anywhere, right? So I use the story. I think stories are so powerful, and I've got so many curses to see these beautiful clients that I've had. But there's this one gentleman, he was from a very traditional Catholic family. He had a significant other. They weren't married, so that was the first taboo, you know, within the Catholic family and tradition. Then it got even worse.

They'd had a child out of wedlock. They're not married. And this was prior to Thanksgiving many years ago. And his dilemma was that he knew the relationship was coming to an end with this woman. It was very problematic. She was very mercurial and whatever. There's a lot of drama. So he came to me one day and he's like, look, I'm going to go to Thanksgiving and I don't know what to do. If I go with her and the child, everyone will assume that everything, you know, business is as usual. But if I don't go with

her, then everyone's going to question what's going on. So what do I do? Now, that's a very human binary way of looking at any problem. Zero or one, zero or one, zero or one. And I said, it doesn't really matter what you do. Because until you address what is the real root cause here, which is your fear in the fact that you don't feel fully loved and accepted by your family. So you don't actually have an honest, transparent, open relationship with your family. So whether

you take her or you don't take her, you still have to, and you will be presented with the challenge of actually being so vulnerable with your family about your concerns about how they think about you. So that was the bit and he said wow like he he got that he actually as much as he loved his family and they truly loved him but they didn't have a true intimate relationship because they weren't being fully honest with each other and this is why you know you and i've talked about relationships and why relationships don't work is because most people aren't fully authentic or open and so that that's one example of where his opportunity was to look at not was the solution to his fear which would have kept him in the fear but rather what is the fear

and how can i break beyond that it's a bit like symptom suppression or get into the root cause whether he went or not fine it may have uh stopped a mini drama potentially yes but the mini dramas would keep coming like they're not going anywhere because actually the root cause of that is it's not being addressed yes and that's why again as i said it doesn't really matter what we do in terms of strategy or solution or the way that we try to mitigate or avoid perceived future problems unless you deal with the deep feeling of limitation inadequacy insecurity scarcity then it's still with you right like i always say if you notice wherever you have problems in life you're there or it's like more tongue-in-cheek say yeah no you no problem right it's there's no problems in life

there just aren't and that's a very bold statement and a hard one for people to swallow and I'm not for one minute saying that life is ideal or that I condone certain behaviors but there's not a problem there's just what's happening and then there's a circumstance of it and sometimes the circumstances are very unpleasant and very painful but the problems are all in our perception or how we relate to life. So really, if we were to talk about relationships, to me, life is relationship. Relationship is often understood as it's like a person and a person, right? Male, female, male, male, female, female, whatever it is, whether it's romantic or family or professional. But to me, relationship is our experience to life. We relate to life. However, we relate to anything is what garners our own personal experience of life. And if people could

just get that, then they have an entirely different way of looking at life. How am I relating to life versus what is happening out there somewhere separate to me that apparently is causing my experience of life? That's the victim model. That's the survival model. I have to do something in order to be loved and accepted. And now people are exhausted. You know, their adrenals are shot. They're finding all sorts of means of escape, whether it be food, sex, drugs,

whatever it is, alcohol, versus going, oh, hang on a minute. What if there is absolutely nothing out there that is causing my suffering other than my own superimposed perspective of circumstance? Now, where that gets tricky is that superimposition is for the most part subconscious. Yeah. So that's why we've got to bring awareness to why am I feeling nervous about a public appearance or like doing a presentation at work. They think it's, oh, because everybody's going to laugh at me or whatever it is.

No, that's something within you. Maybe when you were five or seven, you did a show and tell at school and people laughed. And that little bit of trauma is now still in you as a 45-year-old executive. And it's still the same way that you're relating to speaking to a group or the fact that your parents gave your older sibling a little bit more attention and bigger toys made you feel that oh I'm not as loved as my older

brother or sister and so now you tend to attract a spouse or a partner a boyfriend or a girlfriend who doesn't seem to give you the kind of attention that you'd like. Well, because you're still living in that's the way that you relate to yourself. I'm not the one that gets all the attention. That goes to fill in the blank, right? So that's the patterns that we want to keep revealing. And then we want to inquire into them. We want to ask, is it true?

Is it true that I'm not lovable? Or is it true that I'm not enough somehow? Is it true that I'm not lovable? Or is it true that I'm not enough somehow? Is it true that I'm a failure? And if we put question marks at the end of our own concerns, it's amazing how it will just open up a little bit of space for people, because my assertion is it's never a truth. It's just an opinion. I mean, I've heard you say before i think that conscious thinking is a result of subconscious programming correct yeah and feeling too that's where it gets really tricky and feeling so the way that we think and feel because feelings are that much more

they've got density because now they become associated with our body but yeah the conscious the subconscious pattern or the the it's literally like a construct. It's imagined like a particular framework and then the thoughts, feelings and actions live within that. So like this room is, I don't know, 200 square feet, right? That's the size of the room. That could represent the subconscious. Now in this room, for that reason, we're going to have certain conversations that are available to us this is great to do a podcast we could maybe have like a little dinner party in here but we're not having thoughts about oh let's throw some fantastic um you know rock band event here or

the olympics yeah that doesn't happen in this space because the space doesn't call for it so if in my mind the space i'm living in is I'm not enough, then the dreams and aspirations that I really have in my heart and soul, they don't become conscious thoughts because they're not available in a confined space. Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And that's why I love what I do because I crack open these perceived, the perceived

limitations. crack open these perceived the perceived limitations and then people literally have an entirely new experience of who they are and what the world is and what becomes available it is truly the world of pure possibility no i love it and i i would i you know like you i i i want everyone to experience it damn right let's go but yeah because it is it is like you know living your best life being able to do the things that you've dreamt of but you often put up obstacles to actually yeah you know to actually living out those dreams and i think that story about you know let's say someone at 45 is nervous to public speak scared of what people are going to think and then you relate that back to a show and tell when they were five or seven, when they got laughed at.

Yeah. Yeah. And it is, I think there's two, there's two parts of that for me. There's one is there's some imprinting that I guess often happens in childhood that serves a purpose in childhood, but no longer serves us as adults.

Yeah. But also this idea that, you know, it's ultimately conscious or unconscious. It's a story, isn't it? It's a story that we tell ourselves. Yeah.

And we repeat it enough times or we feel it enough that becomes our reality. But ultimately we have created that story. So is the tool for people sometimes, because I think if you don't talk about this stuff if you stay inside your own head all the time yeah you can create these stories and these stories become bigger and bigger inside your mind that's why i think even simple things like journaling can be so beneficial for people because you write stuff down and suddenly you see it written on paper you go ah yeah you know what god i've been a bit harsh on myself here or right i

don't know a therapist or a counselor, when there's a third person there, suddenly that kind of emotional narrative, that story you tell yourself, it can be, you can sort of convince yourself that that's the truth, but in front of someone else, suddenly you're like, actually, God, I'm being a bit harsh on myself.

I don't know, is that, is part of the problem that we don't talk about this stuff with third parties yeah who have no emotional attachment to us like we're going to come onto relationships for sure yeah but often we can create these narratives within our relationships let's say um with a husband with a wife with a boyfriend with a girlfriend yeah you know things can fester out of control very quickly yeah because two people have got their own narratives that they're strongly holding on to. And I think this is why couples therapy or thing can be so beneficial sometimes just to have a third person there who's not related. You can suddenly go, actually, you know

what? I'm talking about a nonsense, aren't i really and it's only apparent yeah when there's somebody else in the room yeah yeah i don't know no i think and i mean as the majority of your audience is probably you know from from england i think as as domicile brit you know we were brought up in a sort of relatively reserved way right like having come here to the states there's a lot more self-expression you know there's less less conservatism in terms of the way that people just dress and talk and believe is that a good thing i i'll tell you why i asked that i would have thought as a kid growing up in the uk yeah you know we had a certain perception of americans yeah the sort of you, this is awesome. This is like very, very emotive.

We're number one. Yeah, right. And I think as Brits, we always thought, you know, a lot of Brits find that brash and distasteful. Yeah. But I have changed my view on that over the last, maybe the last five years in the sense that I kind of feel, you know what, at least they're expressing the way they feel. They're not holding back. They're not keeping in that they're expressing it. They're not afraid. This is my perception to, you know, sell themselves to talk about their qualities and things that we as Brits found, you know,

distasteful and not the way you do things. Actually, well, maybe we're the ones who have actually got the issue where we won't express our emotions, where we'll keep them locked inside and we won't say things that we're proud of. Do you know what I mean? You have that unique perspective. You grew up in the UK. You now live out here in California. What's your take on that? Is there something cultural in that?

And is the American way potentially more helpful? in that and is the american way potentially more helpful um i think it's you know cultures are sort of the on mass expression of the individual right the collective expresses like you look at australia the same right tall poppy syndrome so that gets indoctrinated into kids as we grow up like well don't show off too much because then people want to cut you down. Germany, schadenfreude, right, is the expression of like getting joy out of someone else's failure. So regardless of which country or territory you go to, I think it's sort of, it's human conditioning. Why? Because we're programmed to, as I said, come from scarcity and adequacy and insecurity. So there's a certain joy or comfort in the the limitations that we see in others why

because it's a reflection of our own and so i think that's the biggest obstacle that we have to overcome and i do think to to a certain degree the states you know there is a degree of it is being brash i said it's like the cocky teenager you know where you look at europe it's like the wise grandfather you know and that's just sort of speaking to how long these civilizations have been there, right? Like, Europe is quote, unquote, much older. So if we were to look at it collectively, it's like a wise grandpa, you know, whereas America is a young country, and it's like full of testosterone. It's like, we're number one, right? So I think there's a degree of like, as massive generalizations. I think that's just because of the relative ages of different countries.

But I do think, I think over here in the States, one thing that I will, you know, tip my cap to is that people are much more, they're less reticent to talk about their feelings. They're much more conditioned to have a therapist is very normal, know and i think that can also become problematic because you know kids who are in five and six and seven years old and now in therapy and i'm like well maybe that would be better served to be a conversation with the parents but the parents are too busy living the american dream so yeah i mean we can cut this down any way you want whereas what i think is the most important thing to take out of this is to not be embarrassed by what you feel and to find a safe place whether it's professional whether it's you know a loving family member whether it's a really great friend I think one

of the attributes that I do love about myself and I'd assert it's one of my biggest pillars in my work, is the ability to listen. And I think most humans don't know how to listen. They just react. So one example, I was just doing a workshop, it was a few months ago now, in Hawaii. And I was speaking to many of these things, and there was 90 plus percent women who are on this retreat beautiful retreat and this woman wouldn't pose the question so well how do i help my son because he's always belittling himself relative to his older brother uh and she gave the example of like oh i'll never be as good as johnny is what what he said and because she's a loving mother her reaction was oh honey no you're this and

you're that. And she started giving him all these accolades, which to the lay mind is like, well, that's wonderful. She cares about her son. And it's a subtle distinction, but it was very important. And it changed her whole relationship with her son. I said, you're not listening to your son. you're not listening to your son. You're superimposing your world on top of his, and he doesn't feel heard. Now, I don't want him to stay and hang out in the feeling of inadequacy relative to his brother. That's not what I'm condoning. But I'm saying he's not being heard, which is why he also feels somehow less than, right? Do you understand? So he said, I don't feel as or I'll never be as good as johnny now what that's what he's saying now somebody who can listen would feel into gosh

what must that feel like for that kid and then we can start to have compassion and hold a space for his reality because his reality at that moment is feeling inadequate needing to be seen needing to be held not to be pumped up like, you're this and you're that, right? Which we've all done to friends, like, oh, don't, no, you're amazing. But sometimes what people want is just to be heard. I feel lousy. I don't feel very good about myself. I don't know what I'm doing with myself. Like these are legitimate everyday human experiences. And I think one of the greatest gifts we can give each other is just to let somebody feel those things we don't necessarily want them to hang out there

but to literally let them have their reality because oftentimes it's if we to think about it physically it's almost like an emotional toxin that we're trying to release and as soon as we say no you're amazing we're actually suppressing the expression of something that is currently discomforting in us so for that woman she literally had a tear in her eye and she was like wow i just i do that all the time now it was by no means a judgment of her because she's coming from a loving place she adores her son yeah but she said it's so true because he often says you don't listen to me and she never made that connection so, it's so true because he often says, you don't listen to me. And she never made that connection. So again, it's subtle.

We don't want him to feel inadequate, but we want to honor his reality. Because then he will literally feel seen and heard, which gives him a sense of value. Because we're saying, we love you enough to actually honor your reality. Then we can get into, well, why do you feel that way? What happened? You know, was it because of Johnny's performance or something? Or because he got better grade? I don't know. But now we get into their world, which is the gift of real relationship is really understand someone else's reality versus forcing your own perception of them on top of theirs.

Peter, that is, I think, such a powerful story because there will be many parents listening to this yeah who i think will just take a beat there and go wait a minute let me just rewind that's that because i do that to my own children and what's interesting for people um i think is that it's from a place of love yes of course yeah people are trying to protect their child yeah but i think a lot of people will be thinking you know i do that to my child and i think it's it's it is subtle but it's very key it's very very key and it's something i think vid and i my wife we have changed a lot with our kids over the past years as we've understood this more and more it's like hold on a minute don't just um reflex wise just say no no that's not the case so hold on you're saying oh it's a two-step process wonderful step number one yeah is yeah let them have that make sure they

feel heard that's fundamentally what every human wants isn't it to feel heard and seen yes and that that is i mean if we get that right actually we change a lot in the world straight away like and that's why i love relationships and why i said everything is about relating because i think you know your wife and women are they definitely have an upper hand on men because they do that for each other you know and certainly you know you know sometimes women can obviously be a little bit competitive with each other but when they're loving friends they listen to one another and their feelings because they can relate from the fact oh I feel that a lot myself you know whatever's inspiring it. But women are much more adept at expressing

feelings and listening to one another. Males, because we're sort of very binary, we're sort of very logical, we want to fix things. We don't necessarily understand that all they're doing is expressing, meaning they've women, partners, sisters, mums, girlfriends, wives, they're just sharing how they feel. And what they're asking for is just get my reality because right now I feel lousy. I feel unattractive. I feel like, you know, I'm a loser. And they just want to feel it's okay. And why this is paramount, as far as I'm concerned, just my opinion, to establish that pattern of relating with children is because what happens is with this one woman's example that i gave what that little boy is learning is that his feelings um don't aren't important what's

important is that we keep focusing on the positive or that you're only going to be loved when you're not feeling inadequate so we're not actually making room for our humanity. And that's my work is allowing all of our flaws, our beliefs of inadequacy and insecurity to be there, not necessarily to deny them or suppress them or drink them away, but go, it's okay to have a day where you feel like shit. It's okay. And when you really give yourself that permission, it opens up your bandwidth to love, which is all embracing. Because otherwise we collapse love with, no, I'll love you as long as you behave the way I want you to. Yeah. I mean, if you really get that, like, what has that got to do with love?

That is complete preference. That is all about me. That's not about you. That's conditional love. Yes. That's conditional love in some ways isn't it it's like behave in the way that i like and i will love you for that reason i would actually say it's got nothing to do with love which is a deeper interpretation of love see when people talk about unconditional love i say that's complete paradox because it's

it's love or it's not it doesn't need to be like love is all embracing. And if people just get that, like, cause they will say, oh, I love so-and-so. But if they really were to look at themselves in the mirror, I don't deny that at some level they do, but in the way that they behave, the way that they speak to that person, the way they react to that person

isn't a reflection of love. It's a reflection of control, manipulation, demand and dismissiveness. That's not, these aren't the qualities of love. It's a reflection of control, manipulation, demand, and dismissiveness. These aren't the qualities of love. Love is, I accept you 100% for who you are with all of your emotions, all your self-expressions. You still have your own preferences in that. If somebody does behave in a way, obviously, that is in any way hurtful towards you, that may be a relationship you want to reconsider, but I accept you for who you are. It's like I always use the example of I can love a heroin addict for who they are and have a lot of love and compassion

for where they're at in their life. It doesn't mean that it's somebody that I want to date or invite over for Christmas to my house, right? So I still have my own personal preference within that, but there's no judgment. If people could understand the disservice that it is to make another human being wrong in any capacity, that alone opens up an entirely new world for people of compassion, love, acceptance, and for ourselves of relief because I don't need other people to be a certain way for me to be okay. And that's what people are saying. You need to do this. You need to behave that way.

Don't do this. You should do that. Like it's exhausting it is exhausting if i think that my my joy my happiness my relief and my sense of contentment is completely predicated on how other people behave excuse my french but you're fucked from the get-go right because you're saying that i need to control the myriad of moving parts that is my family, my company, my friends, and my society in order for me to find any glimmer of peace. That is a hopeless proposition. It is exhausting. It's futile. And what I'm inviting people to consider is you can allow everything and everybody to be exactly the way they are and still be completely at peace. And I'd assert

that's the only form of real peace there is, is to allow life to be the way they are and still be completely at peace. And I'd assert that's the only form of real peace there is, is to allow life to be the way it is. I really hope you are enjoying the conversation so far. Just taking a quick break to give a shout out to some of the sponsors. Athletic Greens have always been a big supporter of my show and I really like this company. They make one of the most nutrient dense whole food supplements that I have ever come show and I really like this company. They make one of the most nutrient-dense whole food supplements that I have ever come across and I myself take it regularly. This podcast is all about empowering you to become the architects of your own health and of course today's topic of conversation is about living a life of freedom without limitation. To do that we really need to

be looking after ourselves. And of course, nutrition plays a key role. For me, taking athletic greens each morning is a key part of my daily routine. Now, ideally, everyone would get their nutrition from real whole foods. The reality though, is that many of us struggle to do that. That's why I like high quality whole food supplements like athletic greens. And I know many of you have reached do that. That's why I like high quality whole food supplements like Athletic Greens. And I know many of you have reached out to me since you started taking it to say you've experienced a whole range of different benefits like improved sleep, better energy, better moods, more concentration, more focus, and so much more. It contains vitamins, minerals, prebiotics,

and digestive enzymes. And I really love their travel prebiotics and digestive enzymes and I really love their travel packs which often accompany me when I'm on the road or on the move. So if you're looking to take something each morning as an insurance policy to make sure that you are meeting your nutritional needs, I can highly recommend it. For listeners of the show, if you go to athleticgreens.com forward slash live more, you will be able to access a special offer where you get a free travel pack box containing 20 servings of Athletic Greens, which is worth around £70 with your first order. You can check it out at athleticgreens.com forward slash live more. One of the phrases I think that has influenced my life significantly is i think i

heard you say this on a conversation i can't quite remember exactly where it's from but this whole idea that once you understand that if you were that other person yeah you would be behaving in exactly the same way that was me with drew on broken brain how we met exactly yeah and that has been a life-changing phrase because yeah what it does is that it takes it it takes pressure out the situation it takes sting out the situation it's it it brings in love it brings in compassion it brings in understanding yes and you can apply that to anything in life right you can apply it we mentioned social media before you can apply it to friction at work yeah once you understand that if you were that person you would be behaving exactly the same way if you were born where they were born you had the

conditioning they had as a child you had the upbringing they had yeah you had the life experiences they had you'd be behaving exactly the same way and i guess yeah you know it's really interesting for me that because people say no i wouldn't you know it's really interesting for me that because people say no i wouldn't you know some people say no no but if i was in that situation i wouldn't behave like that i would make this choice right right but what's really interesting is that since our chat went out i had a chat with someone called john mcavoy that went out new year's day and john's got one of the most incredible stories you'll ever hear john was part of he was a criminal right yeah yeah he was one of the uk's most notorious criminal families yeah he had two life sentences by the age of 24 i think he was um you know i think he had his first gun when he was

16 he was in the highest security prison in the uk with uh the seven seven bombers and yeah you know he was like literally you know is he is what society would have regarded as scum let's lock him up yeah exactly okay yeah but when you hear his story yeah and you hear him explain his childhood and you hear him explain how he had no male role models yeah and the only male role models he had were criminals. Gang members, yeah. Who drove, you know, flash cars and treated women with respect. And he tells a story beautifully. There's such authenticity. But there's a beautiful end to that. You know, he's come out of jail. He's now inspiring kids through movement, through exercise. You know, there's a really nice end story. So we celebrate john and we

celebrate what he does but he will say i am nothing special at all every single prisoner in this country yeah has the opportunity to do the same as i did i got lucky yeah right yeah but we if we provide the right uh environment yeah and the right i guess i would say level of compassion and understanding every person's got the opportunity to change like that. But I guess what I'm trying to get at is that phrase, why it's so powerful is that we get it with like a John McAvoy who's gone from the depths to, you know, coming out of prison, being a free man. Can we apply that to our boss who is pissing us off? Can we apply that to the person who just cut us up on the road on the way to work and we're infuriated at you know do you know what i mean it's like can we can we apply

that to those everyday things because if we can yeah it changes everything that's the world of peace and i think the ultimate person for whom we want to ask can we apply that to is ourselves because self-forgiveness is probably the greatest barrier to peace right it's we this is a huge conversation for people already right to consider wow what would my relationship look like if i stopped making my husband wrong or i stopped making my wife wrong or i stopped making my parents wrong that would open up an entirely different level of intimacy and peace for myself that is huge but what if i could stop making myself wrong so in your example that you know the boss that pisses me off first of all the boss isn't pissing you off he's doing or saying something or she was

doing or saying something but what if i could forgive myself for the reaction that i have of fear or whatever it is that's creating my upset that is that's an entirely different level of love and compassion. Your story, John, reminds me of one I just want to share because I was personally involved in this story and it speaks to this, which is I was on my way to a date, this is many years ago, down in Long Beach, which is about 25 minutes, 30 minutes from here depending on traffic. And it was during Super super bowl it was probably um six seven years ago anyway i missed my exit because i'm one of the things i pride myself

on is being someone who honors their word so i don't like to be late and if i am i'll always communicate right so and in this case i was running a little late i had communicated but i you know i wanted to honor my worth and especially as as a respectful man to a woman like i didn't want to leave her waiting wherever she was so for whatever reason i missed my exit i i have to go down and and turn around come back up on on the freeway or the highway and um all the motorway all the most way m25 i haven't been on that for a while um so um i'm you know i'm i'm pushing a little bit i'm doing about 85 and all of a sudden out of nowhere i get nudged in the back of my car like bumper car style like i'm driving above the limit um please don't judge me for that because i'm doing that within my condition and um yeah i'm like what the hell

was that like so he must be doing 1995 in order to ram the back of my car as I look in the rear view mirror I see this car sort of swerve a little bit after he's hit me and then take off now I was driving a you know a car with a decent amount of horsepower so I kept with him I wasn't even angry the funny thing I was more curious like what the hell was that so he came to the next exit and there was a single lane exit and he was trying to get past there was a car and I distinctly remember there was been raining a little bit there was a pothole and his wheel went down as this big splash and he couldn't get past the car so as we come down to the surface street he knows that I'm right on his tail at this point.

And he pulls in. Fortunately, he doesn't take off. He pulls into a parking lot of some sort of restaurant and I pull him right behind him. Now, I'm not advising people do this. This was just purely based on instinct because it's LA and I didn't know who was going to get out of the car and if he's packing heat or whatever it might be. So I made sure I got out of the car first so that he could hear my voice as he opened his door. I said, hey, everything's okay. My name's Peter, right? So sort of make some sort of connection. He gets out of the car. He walks up towards me and I say, hey, are you okay? He's like, yeah. And I said, you obviously can't hit people at 90 miles an hour and then take off i said as long as you're okay let's just check the back of my car and then we'll we'll have to

trade insurance well no sorry before that i could tell that he'd been drinking that was my assumption based on someone doing that what i assumed happened is he maybe fell asleep at the wheel and that's why he went into the back of me so he'd come back from vegas he'd been celebrating something to do the super bowl and so i said have you been drinking he's like yes i said thank you for being honest so i'm honoring his vulnerability i said i'm not going to let you get back in the car is there someone we can call to come and pick you up and he said yeah i can call my my wife i'm like okay great i said whilst we wait let's just check my car and then we can trade details we checked my cars next to nothing on it

fortunately and then i said okay this is my insurance where's your insurance he pulls his wallet out and he's trying to find papers he's a bit discombobulated he pulls something out and a ring comes out and falls on the ground he picks it up i said is that your wedding band and he said yes and you know and then i could tell just energetically like he's starting to feel a little sad and i said is everything okay he says well we're just going through a tough time right now and i said that's okay and um i said but she's coming here to get and she said yes and he said you know we might be getting divorced and anyway so we sit and chat for a minute long point of the story is that would have been somebody who many people and again not judgment of them either would have been like put that guy away he's he's a hazard to society he's drinking

and driving at 95 miles an hour and what i heard was somebody who was just in a lot of pain who'd found some relief to just get away and find some sort of companionship with friends and drink in vegas he was rushing back because he had to get to work in the morning, which was a job he wasn't that happy with. It wasn't paying him a lot. And so, you know, with love and compassion, I held a space for him. He got home safe. He called me the next morning and I don't need to reiterate what he said, but it was very flattering and complimentary. And then we met for a coffee at a Whole Foods like a week later. And I sat with him and helped him get through the fact that he was at the time drinking about 70 units of alcohol a week.

And, you know, his life, as I said, was on the verge of, with his wife, was on the verge of divorce. And we turned that around just because, call it Good Samaritan or whatever it is, or that I'm fortunate enough to have the wherewithal to be able to help people. That he quit drinking. he got promoted at work he and his wife got back together they bought a house you know and for years this is a long time ago we stayed in touch and that was somebody who was given a glimpse of a different life than the one that was otherwise predictable you know and that is only because not to make me sound like some, you know, good Samaritan out on the streets at all. But what is possible when we can have a little bit more compassion for people not fully know what they're going through until we actually inquire and we we care enough to listen and let somebody tell their story and accept them for it

and as best as we can give them support now of course there are situations where things are very very trying and very painful uh for humans and what they go through we don't need to like speak to events but people go through very hard times and sometimes there are circumstances for those behaviors one of my clients was you know sexually abused when she was eight and you know these things do happen and that's not like oh let's have love and compassion for um for the person who was doing that to her then that might be necessary but in a controlled environment right so i'm for everyday folk where we have judgment and we have criticism and we have hostility towards people there is an

opportunity to turn that around and go okay wait a minute if i could just have a little bit more patience and understanding that was at one point somebody's baby and that baby did not know hostility and vicious behavior it was conditioned into them through whatever they had to go through to survive and uh yes it's a it's it really is a it's a very engaging story that and it's i mean you mentioned at the end i was thinking as you were saying that you know the heart of your approach is compassion that's at the heart of it that is you can actually summarize everything and say it's about compassion compassion to the world around you compassion people you come across but also compassion to yourself yeah and it's not one of

the biggest obstacles to this for people the fast pace of 21st century living and why i say that is because if you're always rushing around if you're always in a chronic state of overwhelm and you know i've got too many things to do i can't do this can't do that you know you're rushing all the time you know you never think you've got any time for yourself yeah it's very hard then to take time to be compassionate for other people if you haven't got time to even be compassionate for yourself and yeah you know one of my big recommendations people is that again it doesn't it's it's it's i think it's a necessary part of self-care on a daily basis. You need some alone time.

You need some time to yourself where you can just sit with yourself. You can not necessarily sit with yourself and hide on Instagram, but sit with yourself. So these feelings come up to the surface. You can think about them. You can talk about talk about you can write them down something and if you don't have that i think it's very hard to move to the next stage i mean what would you say to that no i think it's great i mean the the comment that's coming or the the expression that's coming to mind is slow down and that's easier said than done but again i make the point that everyone's in a hurry to get to

a future where one day they don't have to be in a hurry you know if you just look at that right it's like people are working in jobs they don't enjoy you know to hopefully have sufficient money one day so that they can relax and have fun but you know to what degree could we incorporate some of that now and actually take a breath like quite literally just stop and breathe for a minute because it is so conditioned within us to survive so your point about the hurry the urgency this competitive nature of society it's it's a survival paradigm and to me real success is where i can be at peace in the midst of chaos and that's got nothing to do with my bank account it's got nothing to do with you know whoever's on my arm as a beautiful man

or a beautiful woman or the title on my business card it's can i be comfortable in my own skin regardless of what's going on around me and that to me is a human being who's found the true definition of success. Because I'm blessed to work with people who have more money than time. And they would traditionally be seen as the most successful because of their net worth. Yet, if you were to understand the inner mechanics of their feelings and their thoughts and their relationships, you would see somebody who's quite broken, and who's very upset and is on all sorts of medication and doesn't know how to feel compassion for their partner and certainly doesn't feel loved by anybody. So is that really success? Or is that just somebody who's got a lot of cash? So I think it's the opportunity to redefine what does it mean to be a successful

human being. And this is why I talk about this work because it's not this linear track of one day future scenarios of when i have right fill in the blank enough money the best body the right partner the bigger home the best job the blah blah blah that that is this perpetual waiting game which is saying that my happiness my freedom and my peace are perennially ahead of me but if you just understand that, then you have to be. You have to be at some state in a mild state of dis-ease or frustration or lack of contentment because the way your brain is conditioning

your relationship to life is that what I want is in the future. So that speaks to my lack of contentment today. And what I'm inviting people to consider is that you're always where you are. You're never in your future. I'm not saying don't have goals and aspirations. I have many,

but I have an intimate relationship with life and the way it is right now. And I'm fully content with the way things are while still being committed to things that I'm excited to create. But, you know, having been involved with many athletes, I think one of the things that hit so many people hard, and it certainly did me, is the Kobe Bryant death.

And, like, here's somebody who is literally so full of life and his legacy is beyond in terms of what he's accomplished from just within his sport, but then, like, he'd become an Academy Award winner because of his storytelling and his books and obviously who he was as a father and here's somebody who we could argue is at the prime of their own life and then just like my dad like he went to work one day and he never came back right because of the zeebrugge disaster and so likewise here for his family and all the families that were involved on that helicopter. It seems maybe trite to say, but we just don't know how long we've got.

So rather than hoping and wishing for this aspirational future where we think we're going to be happy, what about if you could just consider the possibility of being happy today? And even the Declaration of Independence over here talks about the pursuit of happiness. And I think I even said it on your podcast. It's become very viral. One of my quotes, I say, true happiness, like true happiness is the absence of the search for happiness. And that gives an entirely different relationship to time. That I'm here right now with you in this conversation and there's nothing, quote, unquote, wrong in my life. I'm not worried about where do I have to be next or what am i going to or what are people going to think

about what i'm saying then i wouldn't be in the moment with you i would be in my own mind and i feel that is something that people lack if they could just slow down enough to go wait a minute is my life truly in danger or is that just my perception Is it really a life-threatening situation? Or is it just the way it feels? And could I just for a minute sit quietly, take a few deep breaths, listen to the person I'm with, who invariably is going to be a loved one of some form, and actually not feel the need to react or control or manipulate or get somewhere? That's real relief for people some of the themes that have just come up i wonder if we could apply to something specific like obesity okay sure

and what i mean by that is um you know often we think you know we're going to be happy when we've got that body you know when i or when i've lost this amount of weight yeah you know things are going to be great i'm going to have to fit into this, you know, pair of clothes. I'm going to have to do this. And, you know, obesity is so widespread these days, both in the UK and certainly here in America, for sure. Worldwide. And, you know, we're not really making inroads into obesity. And I think there's many reasons for that. And I've been trying to create my own framework for obesity recently. I'm sort of playing around with a few ideas based upon my experience and what I see. And so there's a couple of things I just want to touch on with you based upon your work that I think might be useful. So a lot of people who are trying to lose weight,

a lot of my patients have said to me, you know, when this happens, I'll be able to do A, B and C. So this is this whole idea that I can't be happy now. Yes. I will be happy in the future when I've lost the weight without realizing that this unhappiness

with the way things currently are is going to make it much harder for them to actually get to that destination in the first place. I want to really touch on that with you. Yeah. I want to touch on, with respect in the first place i want to really touch on that with you yeah um i want to touch on with respect to weight loss i want to touch on even the whole idea of language i mean i we we discussed this last time about language and the context of maybe depression yeah um but i think you know with obesity it's also very important you know if you

think or you say i am fat or I am obese, that is defining yourself by a certain label. I think I want to expand on that with you. And the third stream, I think around weight loss and obesity. And the reason I'm bringing this up is because I think it's such a common problem. Let me rephrase that. It's a common issue that people are seeking help with they a lot of people would like to lose what they consider to be their excess weight yeah okay and i just think the the mechanisms we've got for that that the the processes for that are unsatisfactory so that third component was and this is a question actually that when i told my audience that i was

interviewing you again a lot of people came up with questions that were really excited so many questions but one of them was about emotional eating yes and those three they're quite separate but they all come under the umbrella of certainly obesity yeah i guess you would widen that out even further because they're the same principles that apply to anything but yeah i wonder how you could dissect some of that no i think it's a beautiful question and it's certainly an epidemic worldwide right not just here in the uk so i use the expression emotional obesity as a precursor to physiological physical obesity now what does that speak to similar to what i was saying about the mother who wasn't listening to her son there's something unexpressed if If something's unexpressed, then it is accumulating.

So if we look at that energy in Ayurveda, which is part of my work, and for people who aren't familiar, it's sort of an Indian healing methodology, which is akin to Chinese medicine. It looks at elements and it's in Ayurvedic terms, it's part of the Vedas, which is associated with yoga, just to give a context. So there's something called samprapti, which is a word that speaks to the six stages of disease. And it's a beautiful system, as far as I'm concerned, and it's certainly transformed my life. The first stage of disease is accumulation, where we accumulate. Now, within the context of Ayurveda, it's really looking at the physiology. So when we accumulate too much air element, or fire element, or earth and water element, there's going to be an imbalance. So that's the

second stage is now becomes aggravating. So let's take one example. If somebody has too much heat, they have spicy food, alcohol, stressful situations, there's too much heat in the system, it's accumulating, the aggravation will be now they start to get sour belching acid reflux heartburn and then it will start to spread as the third stage now we don't need to go through the whole system but the point is it all starts with accumulation so now if we look at our you know dear human friends out there who are struggling with a weight accumulation my assertion through my lens is what's actually happened is they've accumulated a lot of trauma, emotions that haven't been expressed, and they live within the construct subconsciously, usually of, I don't feel loved. I don't feel loved, I don't feel accepted, or I don't

feel wanted. There's some discard which makes that human being feel completely isolated, separate from the whole, and that's a miserable place to live. And they found comfort in food. Now, that's a generalization, but a lot of people are going to be able to resonate with that. So, what that will look like is when I was a younger child, I was made fun of. I was picked on at school, or perhaps my parents were somewhat absent because they were busy, or they were just struggling with their own things and I never felt held as a child and I found the comfort that I was looking for in a care provider in food instead and food is probably the biggest drug right it's something that we obviously do every day

and so that became a vicious cycle where whenever I feel any sense of dis-ease, I was never given the tools or the environment to be held. And so I accumulated my own unexpressed hurt and sadness and fear, and I found comfort by just eating. So that both speaks to the emotional eating component, but also just the dynamic of how we want to, as human beings, avoid pain and seek pleasure. So both are going on there, right? So I'm in a state of pain. There's no one really around me in my environment or my family to listen to my point earlier and let me express and feel sad and be held where I feel comforted. So my pain has been transmuted into a pleasure that I found through substance, in this case, food. And then it becomes

a vicious cycle where it now speaks to the language component which is it might have started as a feeling deep-seated of i'm inadequate i'm not loved i'm not wanted that then physiologically started to be expressed as somebody who societally is now rejected because obviously it's not good to be fat right you're not going to be the picked one. So now it's a vicious cycle where you're reinforcing the belief of inadequacy and now you use language to actually misidentify with your physical form to your point. If somebody says, I am fat or I am overweight,

what they're saying is I am this meat suit. Now it becomes very difficult because you're actually saying who I am is this. And so to try and lose this would be to lose yourself, which is impossible. It's like trying to lift yourself up by your bootstraps. So that's where it becomes insidious, right? It becomes incredibly difficult because there's the deep subconscious feelings of inadequacy and separation that then fuel the escape mechanisms to which I then become

identified. And then because of even more self-judgment, I feel there's something wrong with me and I'm bad and I have to do something against that, which creates a lot of pressure and a lot of heaviness. Like if I come up to you and say, you have to do this, you're going to resist, right? So, when we're doing that to ourselves, oh, I'm a loser, I have to do this, we're creating more to ourselves oh i'm a loser i have to do this we're creating more heaviness energetically emotionally and then physically in our body so that's the that's the cascade right and so how do we undo that well it comes back to what i said earlier about a lot of love and compassion and acceptance but at least undoing my association

with my physical form if i can see that who i am is an expression of life i am the only expression of life that is me my perspective and as far as i'm concerned that warrants love and acceptance that warrants reverence there's no other you out there and to start to change that relationship with ourself and that's and and they probably will need some support and help to recognize okay what were the breakdowns in your relationship? Where was the absence of love and acceptance as you grew up? That to me is the, that's the real loss that needs to happen. It's not the loss of weight, but the loss of feelings of inadequacy.

The loss of the absence of love. It may seem like a segue, but think it relates i'm helping a client currently go through a divorce and her conditioning was to be the the nurturer and the provider and in many regards we could say they have two children together but we've sort of recognized she kind of has three children by virtue of the way she relates to her husband and and who he is no slight on him but she had become a care provider for him too. And that's why they didn't have a passionate relationship or an equal relationship. She'd got the mothering instincts for two children and then also a grown man. And she said, you know,

I'm really struggling with divorcing this person because of those patterns. And I said, just consider you're not divorcing him you're divorcing the version of yourself that attracted him yeah now if you understand that it's so profound and for her was the access to a much easier path forward because she's like wow like it is it feels like a shedding i'm letting go of a part of me that felt it was my responsibility to take care of everybody which was a reflection of her childhood where my responsibility to take care of everybody which was a reflection of her childhood where she had to take care of her mother because her mum was sick and she just started to play that role even with her own husband so she was letting go of that identity

of herself which gives her an immense amount of freedom not thinking that she's responsible for this grown man's life yeah which is also a disservice to him he's a he's capable he just didn't need to be with her because she took care of everything, right? So if we look at that as a comparison to somebody who's quote unquote dealing with obesity, it's not the weight that they have to lose. It's the image of themselves that they're looking to shed that has got these connotations of inadequacy, of not being acceptable, of not being loved, that is the real weight loss opportunity.

Because when they let go of that, they find a new sense of love and compassion for themselves, which is the precursor to a new body. Yeah. I mean, would you encourage them to even reframe the way they say it? For example, instead of saying, I am obese or i am fat you know i am someone for you know for example i am someone who is currently carrying excess weight but that's

more accurate isn't it yeah can they start using language immediately to start changing that relationship 100 and i would even you know i get poetic i love to write and you know that's how i find joy and expression i'd say who you are is an expression of pure love and pure possibility looking through a lens of inadequacy insecurity and scarcity which led to a behavioral adaptation where i found comfort in food now if you look at that cascade and we come back to what did I say at the beginning, you are an expression of love and pure possibility. It is purely based on the view you have of yourself and life, that I'm not loved by society, I'm not wanted, that who I am in my relationship to myself is inadequate, that that lens, it's a lens that I look through gives me the experience of sadness, isolation,

depression, hopelessness, worthlessness. From that perspective, I am going to be in a position of pain from which I found relief in food. Now, if we lift off that lens, if we remove the lie that there is something wrong with you, that you're not loved, you're not accepted, then there is relief. And in relief, I don't need to find comfort in food. So yes, to your point, they could say who I am currently is somebody who, based on my conditioning, has accumulated excess calories over time that expresses as a bigger body. That's the physics.

But the why is because of the way that I view myself as somehow less than, as somehow inadequate. And that's the thing to really look at. Is it true that who you are is somehow not enough? It might feel that way. You may have expressed yourself your entire life that way. But I would assert it is not a truth. And in the absence of that self-deprecating view of yourself, if that is gone, then people feel such an immense weight loss emotionally like

everybody i work with says gosh i feel so much lighter yeah that is an energetic slash emotional precursor to then their body reflecting that yeah it's the more i think about obesity the more i reflect on patients over the last 20 years the more i i don't know the more i think we've again we've reduced the narrative around it to be simply about calories yeah it's about food and it's not well yeah yeah and even within food and people talk about hunger but there's physical hunger then there's emotional hunger you know why are you eating like someone on that insta story i put out to ask you questions, I think someone said, ask Peter why I can't stop eating foods in the evening that I know aren't helpful for me. You sort of answered that because

actually it's part of that story. The way I see it, the way I talk about it is that we're now using food for things that we never used to use it for for instance food used to be there as fuel for physical hunger when we're really hungry we needed fuel we'd eat now we eat when we're sad when we're lonely when we're depressed yes um when we're stressed you know we eat for all kinds of other reasons now. And simply telling people what to eat, yes, it works for some. It does appear to work for some, certainly in the short term. But long term, these things never tend to last because what to eat isn't the root cause. It's why people are eating it in the first place. You know, and it's why people are eating it in the first place yeah you know and it's 100 it's i

really i do i don't talk about obesity that much on the podcast hasn't come up for a while but i think it's super important because yeah it is not just about read another book to tell me what to eat no no no no for some people sure i have seen ultimate and what would you say for some people who do change what they eat and they do really go oh right it's this yeah would you say there's no emotional component there no everybody's got an emotional component maybe they're a little bit more strong-willed or committed or perhaps their degree of obesity isn't quote-unquote as drastic you know and maybe they're just somebody who's very you know left-brained and they just like oh okay this is i need instructions and i'll just follow them i I think if we really break it down, what is food, right? It is a form of

nourishment. And the expression I use again, I say for the most part, Westerners are overfed and undernourished. Now that is not just about food. That is going back again to my point about relationships and how we do or don't experience love. So love is another form of nourishment, physical touch, being held by someone, being told that, you know, it's okay, even if somebody's feeling sad. That is a beautiful form of nourishment. And in the absence of those forms of nourishment, people are going to find, just based on their brain chemistry's

impulses, some form of pleasure or nourishment. So invariably, the people that are struggling with physical reflections of excess or the first stage of disease accumulation, they're just missing those other aspects of nourishment. And it's easy for me to sit here and say these things. And I hope people understand I'm coming from love and compassion, which is, yes, you may be listening to this and you may be in this situation. And your question, your brain is saying is, yeah, but I don't have any good friends. My parents aren't there, or they estranged me when I was very young. And all I can say is, you know, I hope you can find love and compassion for yourself.

Start there because that would be a precursor to other people showing up energetically. You know, how might they do that, Pisa? Like how, someone hearing that, okay, fine. How can they start doing that? Is it with daily journaling? Is it with affirmations each day saying, I'm, you know, I'm full of love, hope, and compassion. You know, I am a worthy human being in front of the mirror. Is it, you know, I've seen Marissa Pears on her podcast. And she'd talk about, you know, with some of her clients, she has, I am enough.

She gets them to lipstick it on their mirrors all around the house. Everywhere they go, they see I am enough and they say, I am enough. I don't know, you know, is there something practical for them that they can start showing compassion to themselves? I mean, those are great tools. And again, I'm not much of a strategist because I think awareness is the most important thing. Then it's practice. So to answer your question directly, yes, there are going to be things they can do. But more than anything, I want people to understand they are a unique expression of life. Like if that person is a parent or was a parent, I often say, if you had a baby that was yours, and even if again,

you don't, but you can imagine, I don't have kids, but I can certainly imagine if I had my own child, you're obviously a dad, you understand. What would your energy be towards that child? And categorically across the spectrum, people are like, gosh, I'd just do anything for them. Now, at least that person has a semblance of what does love look like? Because oftentimes we don't know what self-love looks like because we use it or it gets expressed in our relationship to somebody else that we care about. So sometimes what people need is just a hypothetical or a real life example of where do i express love and now we can tap into that because i know how i would feel towards

my own child towards a baby it doesn't have to be it could be a niece it could be a nephew it could be your friends just had a new baby and if i i know gosh there's a there's a preciousness there in that child that is equally a reflection of who I once was as a baby and energetically and emotionally still am so that's the it might not seem very practical but there is a real life example where you can look at the beauty of a newborn baby and go wait a minute what does that elicit in me? Because that expression internally of that emotion is the precursor to an action that is more self-loving. Now, for that person, self-love might look like, it might look like I'm not going to have that second packet of biscuits or something,

right? That might be the first expression of self-love is that if I have two traditionally in a day through two packets i'm gonna have one and a half today now to the lay person on the street who isn't struggling with obesity might still judge that as terrible but no that was a glimpse you moved the needle in the direction of self-love and that's the thing that i think more people don't you know need to understand that they don't which is is process, time, patience, you know, and, and that those qualities of patience are themselves love, right? With somebody you love with you and your children, maybe at times you're frustrated and you're in a hurry for some, but for the most part, you understand it's a child

and they need time to learn, to ride a bike. They need learn. They need time to learn to ride a bike they need learn they need time to learn how to do the mathematical equation and we've lost that gentleness we've lost that humanity of patience with ourselves and i often like to do timelines you know if if if i could see you in a year you've got a year to work on this and let's say somebody needs to lose five pounds you know five pounds five stone right like in so what was that 60 pounds or whatever it is like so it's a chunk away or even if it's more first of all you're not going to do that overnight what if you could look at it through a healthy lens of okay literally i could lose one one and a half pounds a week maybe two pounds a week and

that would be considered a healthy progression then we would reverse engineer that so if i'm going to lose let's say two pounds a week and i've got 60 pounds to lose i've got 30 weeks so it's about 10 months now that changes for me the conversation immediately wow it gives me breathing room that i'm not supposed to do this overnight i've got 10 months to do that so immediately i'm giving myself some compassion i'm giving myself some time to breathe rather than by the end of january i must drop two dress sizes. Yes. And it just becomes unrealistic.

Yeah. And then so you're actually setting yourself up for more self-sabotage. And feeds that cycle of, oh, I failed. I'm not worthy of this, etc. Which, of course, is the precursor. So, again, it all comes back down to, and again, it may sound esoterical, poetic. and again, it may sound esoterical, poetic, but for me, I love turning on the internal expression of male and female expressions of love, right? And what does that mean? So, like I said, if you imagine you had your own baby or you could see somebody's baby, to me, it pulls forth the

expression of the quintessential mothering, unconditional love and acceptance. A mother's energy is embracing, it's nurturing, it's all holding. When the baby's crying or it breaks something, the mother's inclination is don't worry, it's okay. So, to bring that quality. And then the father, the paternal energy is love, but with a little bit of sort of that logical commitment and something that is we're going to work towards it's an analytical side and i think what we tend to do is we tend to come straight in from the masculine like well what should i do what is the strategy and sometimes i feel beyond sometimes every time i feel what people need first is that feminine it's okay it's okay where you're at that currently

you're two five three hundred pounds it's okay i get that you're at. That currently you're two, five, 300 pounds. It's okay. I get that you're discomforted. I get that you feel terrible, but it's okay. You are where you are. Now the person feels seen. They feel held. There's a degree of self-acceptance. Now, what would you like to do as a choice, not as a reaction?

Because if we're coming from a reactive state of mind too, we're denying ourselves. We're saying, I'm not something and I need to fix myself. That is also going to be a losing proposition. Versus, I'm going to choose to take care of myself. And over a very, very realistic time frame, this is now the practical side, the masculine, I'm going to lose, I'm going to commit to what are the choices I have to make to lose one to two pounds a week. That may seem

completely nominal relative to somebody's current condition but check back with me in a year and see where i'm at and and i forgot who said it but it was like ernest hemingway or somebody they said you know look the time is going to pass anyway like relative you know the world is going to keep moving so you might as well do something that is good for yourself. Right. I mean, just a couple of observations there, Peter. I'm conscious that we're almost at the end of the time we have, and we still haven't covered a load of things that I wanted to,

which means we're going to have to have a podcast number three when I'm back in LA in a few months. Yeah. Yeah, I wanted to touch on relationships and kids. I think we have done a little bit, to be fair. I think we have done. And what's interesting, you mentioned before, You know, I wanted to touch on relationships and kids. Yeah. And I think we have done a little bit, to be fair. Yeah. I think we have done. And what's interesting, you mentioned before, you know, what would your relationship be like with your kids, you know, regarding patience.

You would be patient with them. It's really interesting that for me, as I've become more compassionate to myself. Yes. And more patient with myself. Yeah. I've become more patient with my kids yes and that sort of applies to relationships as well and you know we didn't really we didn't go in deep into relationships we sort of touched on some of them yeah um i wonder briefly only because we're out of time

yeah yeah um for people and again this is something we can go in deep next time yeah love to sure there will be a next time i've no doubts yeah um but are there some sort of practical tips that people can think about in their relationships yeah one word listen listen it's it's it's so misunderstood when people talk about communicating what is what is usually come to mind when you say you know communicate what do you normally think of when you hear that word like if i'm communicating how do i like what is the connotation if i'm saying oh you know they're a good communicator what does that normally imply it normally implies they're good at explaining something to someone else correct so i want to

flip that around i want to say the greatest communicators are the greatest listeners I want to say the greatest communicators are the greatest listeners. Two ears, one mouth, right? So in relationships, if this is like sort of we're down to the last couple of minutes and there's an ultimate takeaway is work on listening. There's no greater gift you can give a human being than to truly get their reality over there. Most people tend to react. They're not listening.

So even if someone comes up and calls me an idiot, which fortunately they don't, but if from my perspective, I really got that's how they viewed me and I was listening. There's no reaction on my end. There's actually just curiosity because that's not how I view myself.

So I'm kind of curious, where did you get that opinion of me? So now I get into their reality versus retaliating and say, well, screw you, you're an idiot, which is how most people relate. It's a very basic form of language, but it's because people don't listen, they react. And again, I'm going to reiterate it. There's no greater gift you can get than to truly understand fully fully get somebody's view of life they're just expressing how things look through their eyes and what most people do is they don't get their reality they listen from how does their view affect me that's how most people are

listening what is their words and what are their actions? What are the implications to me? Which is the survival mindset. That is not a relationship. Really get this. That is not a relationship with anyone else. That is a relationship with my view of my own existence. Which is why most people aren't in a relationship

because they're not with the other person they're with the other person and how does that person threaten my view of life yeah that that's why most people are lonely why most people's relationships aren't passionate and fulfilling and joyous because they don't understand that a relationship has got nothing to do with my view of survival and how that person upsets me or brings me joy or they have to behave in a certain way for me to feel okay it's rather i'm fascinated to get to know your view of life yeah and that is that would change this whole world in the way that people relate to each other like you wouldn't believe please i normally ask people to finish off with some practical tips, but I think you've already done

that. I think you've given plenty of practical tips. There's a lot of wisdom in what you say. I have no doubt that people will resonate with this episode just as much. I didn't share as much of my own story in this one, but maybe we can do that next time. We'll look at your relationship. We'll look at my relationship. Exactly. So then I will finish up with the final question. I want to give something for your own life. Is there something you do on a daily basis to help keep you on an even keel,

to help keep you in control of your mind and your body and your heart? Is there something you do that maybe people can learn from and think, hey, that's something i might want to bring into my life i mean practically there's many things but i would say they all stem back to the same perspective that i hope people are getting from this which is self-love and care yeah you know whether it's you look at it as a tragedy that my parents died when I was very young, or you look at it as an opportunity for me to have to step up and take care of me or that was maybe what was the the set me up quote unquote for success of turning self-preservation into self-love and acceptance and so all of if you were to follow me around for example and sometimes people want to know the things to do right like so i get up

early and i work out and i go and an infrared sauna, I do cold plunging, all these things that now become very on vogue in the biohacking world. And I eat good food and I do a hyperbaric chamber from time to time. These are the things that I do. Hey, you live in California, right? You've got to do these things out here. Exactly. So these are the things you might see. But what I want people to understand is what is the underlying energy? What is the why or the how am I doing it? Because I also know a lot of people who will be at the local gym every morning at six o'clock in the morning, and it looks like what they're doing is good for them. But the underlying currents that drives them is really an addiction to their feeling of inadequacy that they're trying

to compensate for by looking a certain way. So i don't want people to get too caught up in the actions and the behaviors and really look at what is the underlying essence of where i'm coming from are you making choices for yourself that are founded in self-love and appreciation or are they founded in self sort of survival and preservation. And that is a subtle but very important distinction. It takes a bit of time to sit quietly and go, why am I doing what I'm doing? So, for me, for sure, and look, I'm not perfect. I'm still human. I'm going to have days where I feel lousy and I feel tired and I'm like, what's the point? The difference is, for me, I don't wallow there. I bring love and acceptance and i accept my humanity it's

okay to have a day where you don't feel like superman and maybe what that day requires is an early to bed you know maybe a nap maybe a long bath maybe take a walk or a hike in nature and get maybe talk to a friend and say god i'm just feeling lousy today so all of the things that we spoke to it's embrace our humanity warts and all and um have more patience have more compassion for yourself and your fellow man and woman and realize that you know without sounding uh tried that we're all doing the best we can within the limits of awareness that we currently have yeah it's not so much the what you're doing it's the why you're doing it, isn't it? And please, so much wisdom again.

I think many people are going to really, really take on board what you say. It's going to help them shift their perspective on their own life. People always want to know more. How can people stay in touch with you? What is it? How can they find out more about you and what you're doing? Is there somewhere I can direct people?

Well, firstly, thank you. It's a pleasure to be with you again, my friend. And I hope if there's one energy people do feel in the way I speak, it is love and care, right? I'm doing this because you're not paying me money. Of course, to some degree, it brings awareness to my work. So people might argue, oh, well, he's doing this for promotion. But really, I'm doing this just because I care.

And if people could just take a little snippet of that energy for themselves, then I feel I've done my job today. In terms of reaching me, Instagram, Peter Krohn Official is always great. We're now even on Facebook. We've incorporated that, Peter Krohn, the Mind Architect. And then my website, peterkrohn.com. So I'm always so flattered and humbled by the amount of people that reach out with kind words for what they might have gotten from today and

so i love hearing from people if people want to reach out um because you know we're all doing the best we can and i feel blessed that i have a perspective that seems to really inspire people to look at life through a different set of eyes and and i i don't take that for granted and i feel you know an honor and responsibility to be able to share that with people so that they today might find greater freedom and peace in their life well pisa thank you so much for your time and i look forward to part three yes a point very soon in the future we got our own like ongoing series we do yeah we'll ask more questions and we'll keep coming all right thanks bud take it easy man thank you so there we have it the end of another feel better live more season for me there were some really quite deep and profound insights from pisa in that conversation and I really love the idea of not getting too

caught up with our actions and behaviors but instead to look behind them and try to identify the underlying emotions. What did you think? Did the conversation strike a chord with you? Do you feel it's helped you gain a deeper understanding of what is going on in your life. As always, please do let Peter and I know your thoughts on social media. Peter is most active on Instagram at Peter Crone official, and I would highly encourage you to find him there, give him a follow. You can also check out the online courses that he offers on his website, petercrhn.com. The show notes page for this episode is drchastity.com forward slash 121. And it will have all the links to his channels, his website, and some interesting articles about his work.

Now, many of you I know will miss the weekly conversations over the summer. Please remember that there are a huge number of previous episodes to listen to and I really would encourage you to visit the back catalogue and listen or even re-listen to some of the wisdom that has been shared. Over the past two years this podcast has grown to becoming one of the most listened to health podcasts in the entire UK and Europe. And as the reach grows, so does my ability to get hold of more and more amazing guests, such as the likes of Esther Perel, Gabor Mate and Wim Hof.

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bring you more and more amazing guests in the next season please also do spare 30 seconds to give the show a review on whichever platform you listen to podcasts on like apple podcasts and of course don't forget all of the episodes are available on youtube and in fact if you think you're going to get withdrawal over the summer head to my youtube channel and watch their feel better live more short clips playlist and you'll probably see bite-sized five to ten minute highlights some of your favorite conversations lastly don't forget my latest book feel better in five is coming out in america and canada on sept 1st, 2020 with a brand new yellow cover. This book has had a huge impact in the UK

since it came out. So if you live in the US or Canada, you can jump onto Amazon right now to pre-order your very own copy. If you want to support the sponsors of the podcast but cannot remember all the URLs, you can now go to drchatterjee.com forward slash sponsors and you will see the full list and all the special offers in one place from brands like

vivo barefoot to athletic greens that is it from me a big thank you to my amazing wife for producing this week's podcast and to richard Hughes for audio engineering. I really do appreciate every single one of you who tunes in on a weekly basis to listen to the show and share it with your friends and family. that you have pressed subscribe and I'll be back at the start of September with a new season of authentic conversations that really matter. Remember, you are the architect of your own health. Making lifestyle changes always worth it because when you feel better, you live more. I'll see you next time.