Feel Better, Live More with Dr Rangan Chatterjee - #170 BITESIZE | Why Giving Back Is The Most Powerful Thing You Can Do | John McAvoy

Episode Date: April 1, 2021

CAUTION: Contains swearing. Making changes in life and overcoming obstacles can sometimes seem insurmountable, but if this man can turn his life around, anyone can. Feel Better Live More Bitesize is my new weekly podcast for your mind, body and heart. Each week I’ll be featuring inspirational stories and practical tips from some of my former guests. Today’s clip is from episode 91 of the podcast with endurance athlete and author, John McAvoy. John was born into a notorious crime family and served 10 years in prison for armed robbery. In this clip he tells the inspirational story of how he turned his own life around and then helped positively influence the lives of others. John believes that he’s not exceptional – anyone can change, and everyone has a gift they were born to share.  He believes legacy is important and the impact we have on others throughout our lives can help lift them up and change their lives for the better. The lessons and life advice John shares are relevant to each and every one of us. If there’s a change you want to make in your own life but you’re not sure where to start I hope this conversation gives you the encouragement to begin. Show notes and the full podcast are available at drchatterjee.com/91 Follow me on instagram.com/drchatterjee Follow me on facebook.com/DrChatterjee Follow me on twitter.com/drchatterjeeuk DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. 

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10. And these packs are perfect for keeping in your backpack, office, or car. If you want to take advantage of this limited time offer, all you have to do is go to drinkag1.com forward slash live more. Welcome to Feel Better Live More. Bite size your weekly dose of positivity and optimism to get you ready for the weekend. Today's clip is from episode 91 of the podcast with endurance athlete and author John McAvoy. Now, John was born into a notorious crime family and served 10 years in prison for armed robbery. In this clip, he tells the inspirational story of how he turned his own life around

and how he now helps impact the lives of others. and how he now helps impact the lives of others. When I was growing up as a kid, I attributed success to money and wealth. That's what I thought in life. That defined you as a human. I thought the more money you had in your bank, the bigger your house was, the more watches you had, the bigger the car you had. That defined you by the level of success and what value you was as a person. I was as bad as what you could get. Literally, I was at the end of the road. You could not go anywhere else from where I was. I was sitting in a double category A high security unit in a prison, told that I would never change. It was impossible. It was built in the 1990s for

the IRA. And I'll go into this unit there was eight prisoners Sheikha Buhamza who was fighting a tradition to United States of America and the 21-7 attempted suicide bombers that tried to blow up the tubes and that that was then my life in there with them yes you saw them yep I was with them every day for two two and a half years um there was literally that was my life right I knew I was in trouble but day for two, two and a half years. There was literally, that was my life. I knew I was in trouble, but then when you go on there and you realise the lengths to which the police want to keep you in there and not let you out, I realised that I was probably not going to get out

of this situation. So if I've managed to do this, anyone can, anyone can. And I just want to be able to get that message out. As I think the judge or one of the officers said to you before, people like you don't change. So what caused people like you to actually change? When my best mate died in a car crash, committing a robbery in the Netherlands, I'd never experienced emotion like it in my life. And I remember sitting in this cell and I realized how one our precious life is and

and my friend's life had just literally gone out like a light and he never had children never got married and I realized how pathetic it was the situation I thought I was winning some sort of war in my head against the system and the state and and actually I was just basically pissing my life away. It was like someone switched on a tap and my life was literally going down into a drain. Every day, every breath I was taking, I was literally spending my life on earth, locked in this tiny little box,

thinking that I was winning some sort of war in my head against the system and being defiant. And I remember watching the news and they showed CCTV clips of the final moments of my mate's life. And he was in some shitty supermarket in the Netherlands, spraying a can of CS spray into the lens of the camera. And it froze. The camera froze. And there was a picture still. And I could see it was him because I could tell by his eyes and I just remember like looking at that tv screen and I was like I don't know it just

it just hit me like I looked how pathetic it was like the situation that I was in and and and it made me look at my own mortality and it made me look at my mate that I saw where I was at. It was pathetic in that context, but how that could have been me and I could have been that person, how lucky and fortunate I was because I could have been shot dead back in 2004 when the police tried to arrest me and my life would have ceased to exist that day in that car park in South East London. And I saw the fact that I was alive as a blessing. And I made a decision that night that I was done. I was done with that life. You sit there and you've still got X amount of years left to serve of that sentence. So it was to say I was in that moment lost is an understatement because I genuinely didn't know

what I wanted to do with my life other than I didn't want to be where I was at and I wanted to do something different with my life and then I probably meet the most remarkable human I've ever have the privilege to ever meet in my life and And that was the prison officer that aided me to find that belonging and find that sense of worth and change your direction into something and put that energy and drive that I still had as a human in something productive and positive. I was once that scumbag that was sitting in a maximum security unit with suicide bombers. Since I decided to change the course of my life around, I ended up sitting three world records.

In prison. In prison and eight British records on indoor rail machine or multiple different distances. I always remember what he said to me about having a gift and not wasting it and doing something with it. Before it was about money when I was a kid,

then I realized I was good at sport. It was about medals. It was about Ironman. And I believed, even when I changed, that I still wanted to achieve something in my life. And I thought legacy then was by being really good at sport and winning medals and having all those records and having all those placards on my wall indoors. And that would define me as a person by my legacy. And I was consumed by it. Overtrained, got ill, fixed that, got better at sport. But then what really changed my life was when I got opportunities to go into schools.

And at the beginning, I was like, I don't really see what value I'm going to have. Because again, you don't really understand. I don't feel what I've done is exceptional. And I don't, I'm me, like I'm John. I've'm me like i'm john i've gone through the journey i've gone through my experience i've gone through and i'd never realized the impact that could have on other people's lives and then i got an offer opportunities to um a school talk and at the end this young boy his name was called george followed me and head teacher out and me and head teacher went to his office to have a debrief

and george followed us out and he said sir can I speak to John and so George looked at me then he was 14 years old and he went to me I'm like you and I said what do you mean you're like me and he went I'm like you and I said I genuinely didn't understand what he meant and he said my dad's coming out of prison like my mum's brought me up my sister I don't want to go to prison. And he started crying. And honestly, I've never experienced anything like it in my life. I genuinely haven't. I've never, it was such a powerful moment to know I had impacted on that young boy's life where now whatever I said to him, he was highly susceptible to listen to what I was about to say

because he could relate to me. And I said to him in life, you've got an awareness that I didn't have at your age. You realize all the triggers and all the warning signals now, but you don't want that life, which is good because I didn't see that at your age. What do you want to do with your life? And he said, I want to work in sport. I'm not good at sport. And I said, you don't need to be good at sport. You could be a messer. You could be a physio. There's so many other occupations within the sports world that you can do. You're in a school. It's geared up for sport. They want to encourage and help you and stuff so and i stayed in contact with george and i used to phone up the school and simon cox head teacher used to put george on the

phone in the office and we used to i used to chat to him in the car and wait at the gym um every now and again just to keep him in and the most an honesty man like it's man, like Simon Cox phoned me up when he did his GCSEs and he was walking around the hall and I'm not there. I'm not there. I don't know this. And George puts his pen down in the GCSE hall and sits back and Simon goes over to him and says, what's wrong, George? And he says, I can't do it, sir.

He went, I can't do it. He said, why can't you do it? He went, I can't do it, sir. He went, I can't do it. He said, why can't you do it? He went, I can't. He went, I can't. I can't do it. And he said to him, George, what would John tell you to do now? And Simon said, I walked away,

and I looked back, and he picked up his pen and started writing again. And when he told me that story, mate, honestly, man, he got like, even now, it was so powerful. It was so, so powerful. And then he sat his GCSEs,

and he ended up getting a c in that in that grade um and then he signed on to college but to have that impact over a young person's life where they listen to what you're saying um i realized then that that was my calling in life and and then i realized i had this awareness again in my life you you constantly having you developing growing that legacy actually, it isn't about money and it isn't about winning stuff. It's about you having a positive impact on other people's lives and lifting other people up. And by me impacting on George's life,

if George now doesn't go to prison and he has children and those children don't go to prison and their lives are good because George's life's good and their kids' lives are better, all because he interacted with me. That's what legacy is about. It's about reaching back and lifting people up. I was genuinely surprised, but the further along the journey I've gone since I've been released from prison, the social difference in this country is and how so few have so much and so many have so little to the degree where children, like a headmaster once phoned me up when it was snowing. I remember when I was at school,

snow day, I was loving it. Didn't have school. I didn't have school. Like you'd be at school for three, four days. I was loving it. And headmaster phoned me up in Essex and I developed a really close relationship with him. And he said, we've had to close the school and I said I bet the kids love it and he said he said John he said I feel so bad because I know today for the next two or three days probably that probably about 70% of my school will not eat a meal for breakfast or lunch because they're solely reliant on the school providing those meals because the kids aren't eating when they're home because they're solely reliant on the school providing those meals because the kids aren't eating when they're home because they haven't they haven't the mums and dads haven't got the money they haven't got the food to eat this sort of inequality is is staggering and it's not something we i typically talk a lot about on this podcast but i think it's an important topic and as i try

and talk to more and more varied people about different things about you know it's all ultimately how to live better how we can all live better lives. And I think we live better lives, not only when we feel better individually, but when society is happier and healthier around us. It's very hard to be happy when, yes, you're individually doing well, but people around you are struggling.

Yes, but we are all on the same rock. We're all on this earth at the same moment in time in history, like we're all here together and we're all going to end up in the same six foot hole at the end of it so again my belief is the fact we should work together and we should help other people and that's what life should be about it shouldn't be about profit constantly like selling you stuff constantly should be about working together and helping you helping your fellow man because like you said society community becomes so much better by living that sort of existence and when we don't live it you see all the disharmony that's going on in the world today and all the hatred and

exactly it's getting to that point now where we can't keep doing things the way we've always done them it's getting more and more toxic and it is about that it is about that compassion i think that's what is really missing in society. I believe that what I'm doing today was my calling. And I believe that was what I was put on earth to do. And that's why, like, again, someone once said to me, like, do you ever get nervous if you stand up in front of 2000 people and speak? And I don't, because even if I tried to mess up what I was about to say, it would be impossible

because I can't, because I'm speaking from my heart. I don't have to memorize stuff. I don't have to go up with notes because what I'm saying, I believe in, and it's me being true to myself. You are here for a reason. There's no doubt that your story is so powerful that it is making impact. It is going to change people's lives. I think it's empowering for anybody. I think it just shows what human beings are capable of. No matter where you're at, you can make change. You can turn your life around. Have you got some closing thoughts for people that no matter where they're at in their life, they can think about applying to improve the way things are? I think everyone is inherently gifted at something.

I'm a great believer in positive thought, visualization, and working towards something. And it's not about being the best. It's about being the best version of you. I might not be the greatest Ironman athlete in the world, but I just want to be the best I can be. And that's what's important in life, like you being the best version of you and believing that there's a possibility.

You can always get better. You can always overcome. And it's never the end until it's the end. So until you take your last dying breath and they're going to put you in that casket, you've got life. And if you've got life, live it. Hope you enjoyed that bite-sized clip.

Please do spread the love by sharing this episode with your friends and family. And if you want more, why not go back and listen to the full conversation with my guest. And if you enjoyed this episode, I think you will really enjoy my new bite-sized Friday email. It's called the Friday Five. And each week I share things that I do not share on social media. It contains five short doses of positivity, articles or books that I'm reading, quotes that I'm thinking about, exciting research I've come

across and so much more. I really think you're going to love it. The goal is for it to be a small yet powerful dose of feel good to get you ready for the weekend. You can sign up for it at drchastity.com forward slash Friday five. I hope you have a wonderful weekend. Make sure you have pressed subscribe and I'll be back next week with my long form conversational Wednesday and the latest episode of Bite Science next Friday.