Feel Better, Live More with Dr Rangan Chatterjee - #19 Emma Willis on Body Image, Motherhood and the Challenges of Modern Life

Episode Date: May 23, 2018

Dr Chatterjee talks to TV presenter and ex-model, Emma Willis, about the pressures of modelling, motherhood and keeping her family healthy. Show notes available at: drchatterjee.com/emmawillis Follow ...me on instagram.com/drchatterjee/ Follow me on facebook.com/DrChatterjee/ Follow me on twitter.com/drchatterjeeuk Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi, my name is Dr. Rangan Chatterjee, medical doctor, author of The Four Pillar Plan and television presenter. I believe that all of us have the ability to feel better than we currently do, but getting healthy has become far too complicated. With this podcast, I aim to simplify it. I'm going to be having conversations with some of the most interesting and exciting people, both within as well as outside the health space space to hopefully inspire you as well as empower you with simple tips that you can put into practice immediately to transform the way that you feel. I believe that when we are healthier we are happier because when we feel better we live more. So guys I'm really excited about today's guest who is probably something a little
Starting point is 00:00:47 bit different from the past few guests that you've had from me but really is part of my desire to take health outside the health space. I think health matters to every single one of us because as I've said on many occasions before when we feel, I think we live more, we get more out of life. The guest who I've got on today is somebody who is a TV presenter. She's an ex-model. She's a wife. She's a mother. It's Emma Willis. Emma, welcome to the podcast. Thank you so much for having me. It's a real honour and a pleasure for me to have you on today. Thank you for giving up some of your time to come and have a chat to me about health. You are so welcome. So welcome. Don't think we quite know where we're going to go in this conversation yet.
Starting point is 00:01:29 What are we going to talk about? When I got asked to do it, I was a bit like, oh God, I don't know anything about health or nutrition. What am I going to say to Rongan? He knows everything. But I suppose that's the point right is that that is the point exactly i think you emma are you know very much looked up to by a huge you know a huge amount of the uk public they they see you on tv and they have them for many years and you know from the outside i guess you are you're married you're a mother you've got three children yep and you know it might appear on the outside that you've got it all the great job the great husband you you look after three kids do you have it all
Starting point is 00:02:12 um it depends what all is i suppose do do i have a do i have it all in a very kind of happy and loving family life absolutely i have as you said a wonderful husband and three gorgeous kids um do I have it all career wise I love my job so job satisfaction is a massive thing for everybody I think and I have that in abundance so yes I'm very happy but there are you know do I have it all would I like somebody to do everything else for me? Yes, I would. No, I don't have that. So, as I said, it depends what all is. I think you can... I think I'm one of those people.
Starting point is 00:02:56 Some of my friends say that I'm... Even if it's sunny outside, I'll say, yeah, but it's still time for it to rain. OK. They're like, you're such a glass half empty type of person and I don't think it's that I'm I'm not a pessimist
Starting point is 00:03:11 I'm a realist do you know that's the way I like to explain myself I'm like yeah it's beautiful sunshine but the weather could turn at any point your job is fantastic and you're doing so well yes I am but that could turn at any point. You know, your job is fantastic and you're doing so well. Yes, I am.
Starting point is 00:03:27 But that could change at any point. In an instant. You know, so I'd like to be as realistic as possible. Would you say that's different from Matt, your husband? Is he more of an optimist, would you say? He's, he, well, he is, he's a bit of both, really. He's a few things. A couple I can't say. No.
Starting point is 00:03:49 He is a realist. He is an optimist. He's a dreamer as well. You know, but he's also... He's also a little bit self-consciousconscious probably i would imagine sometimes as well so so again it's you know he's got all of that going on so when you say have you got it all you can have all in a positive way and all in a negative way can't you just because it looks rosy doesn't mean that you're 100 confident and you and you think that i'm living the dream you
Starting point is 00:04:23 know there's always that little voice in the back of my head going, any of this can change at any point, so enjoy it while it's here. You mentioned that Matt might be a bit self-conscious. And if I look at you and Matt, you're both in the media and have been in the public spotlights for, you know, many years now. And, I mean, you, you know, you, from my recollection, you, you know many years now um and and i mean you you know you from from my recollection you you know i don't know how old you were at the time but you sort of came to stardom as it were or came to the public eye as a model um i think initially or as a mtv vj yeah i was a model for
Starting point is 00:04:57 about 10 years and then um i mean i i was never a well-known model but i suppose my presence I mean, I was never a well-known model, but I suppose my presence in the media started when I started on MTV. And I was 26 at the time, going on 27. So older than most when you're just starting out. I forgot to tell people how we met, actually. And I probably should just, before we get into the nuts and bolts of this, I always like to share that so people understand where this connection has come from and um I I got to know your husband Matt um first of all and then I think I was in London for a friend's wedding actually and I was texting Matt and he said oh
Starting point is 00:05:42 we're going out tonight and you know Emma's out out. And I think one of my friends came along and we ended up, you know, partying with you guys. And ended up out with you and your fellow VJs from MTV. And I think we might have done some karaoke at some point. I mean, we're talking like 12, 13 years ago, aren't we? A long time ago. Yeah. So that was kind of the order of the night normally. Back then. Back then.
Starting point is 00:06:11 In our 20s. When we were in our 20s, yeah. Lots of drinking and lots of singing. Pre-kids, that's for sure. Pre-kids, yeah. Don't do any of that anymore. No, me neither. I literally physically couldn't cope.
Starting point is 00:06:24 But what's interesting to me is that you have, and having been in the media a little bit, nowhere near on the scale that you have over the last few years, I've spoken to a lot of females who are on television. And, you know, I certainly get the impression that it can be quite hard for women in terms of how they're perceived and the expectation on a woman in the media have you ever felt that you know a pressure to look a certain way or i don't know you know after childbirth anything like that do people make comments and and is that hard um i think i think again as i said i'm i'm quite a realist so i'm um uh i'm very real about my body and the way it is and how it looks.
Starting point is 00:07:07 And I think being a model for 10 years, that was my instrument. That was that was what I worked with. That was what got me a job and what paid my bills. And so I had to be very on it and I had to look after it. And if I looked my best, then I would work more and I could pay my bills, you know. So the minute I stopped doing that, I kind of relaxed a bit more. So I think when I came to being in the public eye and being in the media was when I stopped really thinking so much about what I looked like like because that wasn't specifically my job anymore. My job was to present TV shows and talk and interview people.
Starting point is 00:07:52 So I was, I suppose, looking at myself in a different way and hoping that I wasn't being employed because of the way I looked but because of what I did and how I did it. Now, when I look at myself back then when I started I was terrible so I probably was employed more what I looked like rather than how good I was in my ability um but uh so so for me it was kind of I would I would imagine for some people they they get in the public eye and they think more about how they looked but I thought for such a long time about what I looked like
Starting point is 00:08:25 and how I presented myself because it was my job. I almost took my foot off the gas with that. And it was one thing I didn't have to think about anymore. Yeah, that's so interesting to think about. So for me, it was the opposite way around, really. Yeah, well, I think that's a very different experience from what most people go through. So you almost had to look good in terms of looking after yourself
Starting point is 00:08:46 because looking good and feeling good uh well more I guess looking good yeah I mean let's not talk about feeling good that's a slightly a separate issue which obviously it should go hand in hand you know but it doesn't always does it and your body was a way of getting work yeah so that was your drive. That was my living, yeah. Yeah, so rather than doing it because, oh, it's healthier, I'm going to get more out of life, it's more actually, if I focus on my body, I get more work.
Starting point is 00:09:14 Totally. Which is very odd compared to what most people have to go through, or very different, I should say. So did the sort of challenges around that, have they sort of fed through to how you are today? And what I mean by that is you're in a different stage of your life. You're a mother. You've got children. But in your 20s, you had to be very particular about the way that you looked.
Starting point is 00:09:37 Have any of those behaviors or, I wouldn't even say insecurities, but potentially thought patterns that came up in your 20s because of that. Do any of them still feature in your life now, do you think? Yeah, I think every now and then they definitely come into play. You know, when we're in our 20s, it's much easier, isn't it, for a lot of people, because we're younger, we are naturally slimmer we um you know are full of youth and enthusiasm and fun and partying and um loving life and enjoying it you know which is exactly what I did in my 20s and and then you know I can I I kind of have a a lovely thought in my head and because I was a model I have loads of pictures of what I looked like.
Starting point is 00:10:26 And of course, you know, sometimes I get dressed in the morning and I look in the mirror and I go, bloody hell, what's happened to me? Because I'm so, my eyes are so trained on what I look like and scrutinize, not scrutinizing myself for so many years,
Starting point is 00:10:43 because I don't think I really did that, but I was very aware of every feature and what I look like and scrutinize, not scrutinizing myself for so many years. Cause I don't think I really did that, but I was very aware of every feature and what I look like. And the things that probably weren't the, the, the things that may have failed me getting jobs. Like my legs were never as perfect as other girls' legs or as thin as other girls' legs. So,
Starting point is 00:11:01 so a lot of times I got cropped out of pictures. Wow. Like I would be shot from the knee up rather than a, it's a whole modeling. thin as other girls legs so so a lot of times i got cropped out of pictures wow like my i would be shot from the knee up rather than a was that hard it's a whole modeling thing well you say that you know could affect you but i think i again i'm quite level-headed and quite realistic and um my parents have kind of raised me to always keep my feet on the ground so i'm just a bit like you know i was never a runway model. One, I was never tall enough. But two, I would have to really have dieted to have competed with the girls that do that kind of stuff.
Starting point is 00:11:37 And it's just not realistic for my body. So I thought, I just can't be bothered. So I was never going to be a supermodel because, one, I was never good enough but also I um I just wasn't disciplined enough to put myself through it yeah you say that that it is quite a unique thing I think you know as a model to be looking at those things but I wonder whether in the modern world now with Instagram and with social media whether it is exclusive to being a model or whether that's what many people both you know men and women I guess particularly women although I think a lot of men are feeling it now as well a real pressure to compare themselves and look a certain way compared to that person that they see on social media, you know, my legs aren't as thin as that girl's.
Starting point is 00:12:27 Or, you know, I know a lot of guys, you know, since the advent of magazines like Men's Health, which is, you know, always would have a topless guy, well, used to anyway, on the front cover each month. I've spoken to a lot of men who that has really put a huge pressure on them to look a certain way. Do you think that's something that a lot of people are contending with nowadays? Yeah, it is. I mean, it's a real catch-22, isn't it, social media?
Starting point is 00:12:52 Because it can be fantastic for certain things and it can also be awful for other things, especially if people are insecure or are looking at it thinking, oh my God, that's what I should be doing. That's what I should look like. That's what which is where the I think the individual comes in. And I think everybody should, they have to be responsible with what they put on these pages, as in what other people are viewing. And I again, go back to, you know, being as realistic as possible in everything that I post, you know, when when I look glamorous, I'm at work and I've spent three hours in hair and makeup and that is not the way I look when I get out of bed in the morning.
Starting point is 00:13:34 That is my work life and lots of people put lots of time and effort into making me look a certain way. But then I'll also post a picture of just me on the sofa eating chocolate with no makeup on sitting in my pajamas because that is my life but I think that's what people really like about you Emma or one of the things that people really connect with you on is that you do seem to be very level-headed you do seem to have that that realistic approach and tend to take it too seriously it's like hey you know that's one part of my life this is another part of my life I it's accepting yourself as well, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:14:05 And being able to do that and getting to an age or a point in your life where you do accept yourself. So like I said about my legs, I would always be cropped. Back then, I was kind of like, I should go to the gym more. I should work out my legs more. I should try and make them the best I can make them. You've got to make the best of what you have without pulling yourself apart and picking yourself apart and driving yourself absolutely insane.
Starting point is 00:14:31 But now that my body isn't my living, I'm like, right, okay, this is what I have. And I'll, again, make the best of it. And they're never going to be supermodel legs, but I have legs. They work and i'm happy you know you've you've just got to put everything into concept context and again i suppose with you know i've dabbled with diets um earlier on in when when i was younger and you know matt as you'll know tries lots of different things for the best way for his body to function.
Starting point is 00:15:07 But again, I just kind of think if you eat sensibly and you exercise enough, you'll maintain a good, healthy body. I think it just seems quite a simple way to live what have you since you became a mother has that changed the way that you are with yourself in terms of you know health choices you might make um you know has has being a parent changed anything at all yeah I mean you you suddenly um you realize your mortality don't you when you have kids yeah big time you know you just kind of before i had kids i was like i will do anything i will go anywhere i'll throw myself out of a plane i will do this that and the other i am all about adrenaline and fun seeking and living life to the max and having the most fun now i won't do anything or go anywhere for the fear of something
Starting point is 00:16:02 happening you just you know and then you kind of go, right, I don't want to drink anymore because you don't know what that's doing to your liver really. And all of a sudden you become a grown up and, you know, half of your brain is still this 20 year old that wants to go and have fun. Still thinks you can. Still thinks you can. Yeah. And the other half is, my God, I want to live as long as possible
Starting point is 00:16:24 and be as healthy as possible because I want to spend as much of my life as I can with these little human beings that I've just created. So I think everything changed for me. The way I live my life, the way I look after myself, the way I think about sugar, especially now and chocolate and sweets and treats which I lived on and loved and now that I'm looking at my little people I see how addictive it is being a parent changes everything doesn't it it's it's just a different perspective and that attitude to risk is something I've experienced myself I've certainly seen it in my wife and since she became a mother it's just like night and day her attitude to risk it's it's I wonder is it the same for both sets of parents or is there something about the maternal bond that actually is even more so that actually I don't know I don't know
Starting point is 00:17:15 the answer I think about these things all the time again I suppose it depends on the individual doesn't it but you know I think the the minute our first child was born, Matt changed immediately. You know, he's an extreme thrill seeker and enjoyer of life, as you know. So a hell of a lot changed for him in many, many ways. But also just his, you know, for example, he'll hate that I'm telling you this, but I walked home from work. I walked in from work the other night and my daughter ran and opened the door and she said, I'm going to get told off for this. Daddy's crying. And I was like, what? And he went, yeah, he's crying at the end of the movie we're watching. And I was and he started crying at movies a lot.
Starting point is 00:18:06 He never cried at movies before. But now he cries at movies quite often. And I walked in and I was like, are you all right? And he's like, mm-hmm. Yep, it was just really emotional at the end. And I said, what movie was it? And he went, Paddington 2. Oh.
Starting point is 00:18:24 What? You know, I thought, who's watching a real tearjerker? But apparently it's quite emotional. I've not seen it yet either, actually. I know. I know my kids have, my wife have. I haven't seen it yet. I haven't seen it yet either.
Starting point is 00:18:34 But a couple of my friends I've just seen have watched it and they were bawling at the end as well. Make sure we've got some tissues with us if we go and watch it. Whether it changes to men, I think, I just kind of think it's a pater go and watch it. Yeah, whether it changes to men. I just kind of think it's a paternal thing, right? Yeah, sure. Like I watch lots of medical programmes on TV because I love it and I'm obsessed with it,
Starting point is 00:18:56 whether it's 24 Hours in A&E or One Born Every Minute or just anything to get my fix of hospital life. And Matt is just like, I can't watch it because I automatically think, what if that were me or you or one of our kids? He said, and I just I just can't cope. So I think it does. I think it changes everything in mum and dad. Did it with you? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:19 Hugely. I mean, it was just life changing for me. I mean, I'm aware that just sounds the most obvious thing in the world, doesn't it? Of course, having a child would change things. But, you know, I mean, certainly some people will know this story about my son was, you know, he was pretty unwell when he was six months old. And, you know, we thought we were going to lose him. And, you know, know that you know you there's very few situations in life I think that will change you like that it significantly changes your outlook on everything and you know arguably if that had not happened I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing today in my job and what I'm trying to to do with public health I'm not sure I may have got there a different way
Starting point is 00:20:02 I don't know because obviously I can't I can't unknow what I know. But yeah, it changed everything. And then, you know, I struggle sometimes with, you know, I'm very much about promoting health. Because I think when, I think a necessary prerequisite for us to live our best life is to feel good. prerequisite for us to live our best life is to feel good i i genuinely feel that it's not about necessarily being obsessive but it's just about when we nourish our our bodies and our minds with the right things whether it's food whether it's movement whether it's sleep whether it's having enough downtime and chill time with people that we love i think we get more out of life the lot of people i meet a lot of patients i see actually a lot of the time
Starting point is 00:20:46 that they're sort of fighting or they're arguing or they're stressed out is because actually they don't feel that great they're um not everyone but a lot of the time that if you are chronically overworked and underslept yeah you know what what is your relationship like when you've not sat very well with your kids with your husband with your partner with your work colleagues it's not the same as when we're well exactly snappy yeah but then and that small snappiness in the morning then there's a load of then there's a lot of knock-on consequences you snap then there's a bit of distance builds up and then and then guilt and guilt and you got this whole circle of emotions that all came arguably because you didn't sleep well. But it may have all come because I stayed up too late watching Netflix till midnight.
Starting point is 00:21:31 So therefore I'm knackered in the morning. And that means all my relationships have been affected throughout the day. And my approach is never to say we shouldn't watch Netflix. My approach is always to try and empower with helpful, non-judgmental information to say, hey, look, you know, when we are feeling better, we're getting more out of life. But, you know, I I find it hard with my children because I find there's I think, you know, it's it's so hard to keep your children healthy because of the way I think the way society is set up. It's so hard and what do you find hardest as a mother who's trying to raise healthy happy children what's the hardest thing you find i mean i'm kind of my own worst enemy really because you know it's sweets isn't it sweets and treats and chocolates and... But I love them.
Starting point is 00:22:25 And, you know, when I was little, I was given it whenever I could. You know, oh, let's give... Does little Em want some chocolate? Does little Em want this? I'm like, yes, just take it all. And I loved it. And I suppose when I first had Isabel, when she got to a certain age,
Starting point is 00:22:48 I couldn't wait for her to try this lovely little bit of chocolate that, you know, we all love. Yeah. Because it makes us happy. It tastes amazing. But it is, you know, like you say, it's everywhere you go. You walk into any shop and it's placed there right by the till. It's on the TV. It's, you know and it's placed there right by the till it's on the tv it it's you know it's all around and you i think we really try like every january we do sugar-free january and we
Starting point is 00:23:11 all do it in the house the kids can't have it um it's just gone anything we have left over from christmas we we lock it all up until february um or chuck it in the bin, which is an awful waste. So we try and make it last till another month. But just to, one, give their bodies a rest because December is just so full on with Christmas and overindulgence and really stuff that you just do not need. So we always do that in January, just to give their little bodies a rest,
Starting point is 00:23:49 but also to train their brains that they shouldn't have it all the time and that they don't need it. And I find that they're much more focused and they sleep better when they haven't had it. That's interesting, isn't it? So you do it it but then what's the impact off that i think that's the exciting thing what happens when your kids don't have sugar
Starting point is 00:24:09 in january yeah i mean they they sleep better they um they're less snappy they're less moody um so less tension and their concentration is better don't't get me wrong. They're golden children, honestly. They're absolutely fantastic. But, you know, they get grumpy like we all get grumpy. I just find they're much more on it. You know, they're much more switched on and focused, I think. Because they know it's not an option. You know, sit down and do homework.
Starting point is 00:24:40 Can I have a treat afterwards? That doesn't happen in January because they know the answer is always no. do you know what i mean so they're like right okay they get on with it and then can i have some grapes yep absolutely not because i ate all through you on it's just bizarre like watching behavioral patterns like that is it's amazing watching in case because i think kids are almost it's easier to see in children i think sometimes um that that they can be very quickly responsive to these changes you can give a small kid a bit of sugar and you can actually see the behavior start to yeah start to change yes oh yes yeah and it's would you say that the when adults give up sugar often you you get some sort of withdrawal symptoms, you know, headaches, irritability, you know, can't sleep sometimes.
Starting point is 00:25:29 It's incredible, you know, in many ways, similar to a drug in some ways. That's what I mean when I said earlier, like it is addictive, like we all just crave it. I mean, we can't talk for everybody, obviously, but a lot of us just love it and i mean we can't talk for everybody obviously but a lot of us just love it and want it well you say not everyone you know i think i think we're hardwired to crave sugar the big problem isn't that we heart that we crave sugar the problem is now that it's readily available and it's everywhere yeah and that's the problem is that that's our old an ancient biological mechanism to crave sugar a quick source of energy yeah we've never had it so readily available as we do now in 2018 you know it's just and it seems to be getting worse each year um i love cutting it out
Starting point is 00:26:18 like i really do because i think because i i i love um I said, I love things all like hospital related and body related. I think I'm quite in tune with my body. So I really notice how better my body functions when I don't have it. Like in every way. Yes, I might have a headache for the first couple of days, but that in itself is telling me the toxins that are coming out of my body are making me feel like I've been out drinking for a whole weekend.
Starting point is 00:26:52 But that's not right. Do you know what I mean? When you talk about sugar, when you talk about alcohol, when you even talk about caffeine, I think, and I've got a love-hate relationship with caffeine. I mean, I love it. Yeah, me too. But if I suddenly stop, I'm not that pleasant to be around.
Starting point is 00:27:07 I get headaches. I can be very moody. I think, wow, is it good on one level to be that dependent on a substance whereby without it, I can't function? Yeah. And that's my own inner demons I'm working on at the moment with caffeine. But what exactly were the benefits when you give up sugar um my system worked better i think i was less snappy
Starting point is 00:27:36 um probably myself more focused as well on um or more rational maybe, not more focused, but more rational in my day-to-day life. Like I would get less stressed about getting out the door in time for the school run, do you know what I mean? And because they haven't got their bag, I'm like, come on, why have you got your bag? Get out the door, get in the car, I'm not going to tell you again. You're just a bit more like...
Starting point is 00:28:01 Calm. Okay, right. Yeah, totally. Much calmer, much more level-headed about things um and my physical functions just work better like my body is like okay this is you know this is a regular occurrence today whereas with sugar i mean i'm all over the place it's incredible to think i'm bloating bloating really yeah bloating yeah so i guess so many things are coming into my head but one of them is i feel like i'm in your surgery no this is great this is i'm really enjoying this what's
Starting point is 00:28:38 wrong with me well i kind of feel in so you do this this in January as a way of resetting things and reminding yourself. And a detoxing from December. Yeah. Because it's so indulgent. Yeah, it really is, isn't it? I mean, I'm not a big drinker. I'll probably drink twice a year tops. Do you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:28:57 So for me, that is not, you know, like lots of people do dry January or lots of people are like, oh my God, I've got to just drink less. I don't really drink. So me it's treats are you on drinking why is it you think you drink less now than well I don't know how much you used to drink in your 20s having said that but do you yeah so the reason I'm asking this is because as part of my own journey and as a as a parent of two young kids I'm just finding more and more I don't want to drink alcohol anymore or very rarely I don't have a any problem with alcohol on a on a ethical on a moral so it's nothing like that I've had my you know fair share of partying years I know but i've but i've just i've i've just got to that point where i've realized i've done it enough times even even now a glass of wine for
Starting point is 00:29:53 me i don't sleep very well and then the next morning i don't feel very good and i'm a bit snappier um has it been a conscious decision for you to reduce alcohol not really i don't really like alcohol so whenever i i mean you know when you're in your in your 20s or or whatever age it is that you're kind of going out and enjoying yourself um i only i only really drank to get drunk so i'm not somebody who goes oh i'd love a glass of red just to relax at night that's it's just not you know i don't really like the taste of it it was it was for me, just a fun thing. Everyone around you is doing it.
Starting point is 00:30:26 I'm going out to have fun. You know, it's a social thing and a fun thing. And that was it. So I don't really miss it in any way, really. And also, Matt doesn't drink. So it makes, that's just our lifestyle, really. And as I said, a couple of times a year, maybe on my birthday or someone else's birthday, then I'll go couple of times a year maybe on my birthday or or someone else's birthday
Starting point is 00:30:46 then I'll go out and have a few drinks but I kind of don't like I don't like being out of control now do you know to me and I kind of and I don't like my day ruined the next god I sound like such an old woman I don't like my day being ruined the next day. I hate the kind of, I hate the fear that you get the next day and the, oh my God, was I an absolute idiot to be around last night? And that whole kind of embarrassment of, God, was I talking rubbish? I just can't deal. Like, you know, life's too short to be worrying about things so insignificant as what all the rubbish you've spouted when you've had a drink.
Starting point is 00:31:28 Yeah, no, absolutely. So I just go, you know, if ever I do, I just go out with close friends. We have a really nice time. I'll only ever get to a certain point of tipsiness and that's me done. I can enjoy myself like that. I don't need to get hammered anymore. It wasn't really a conscious decision it's just progressively more and more the way my life has ended up yeah i think
Starting point is 00:31:51 that was that was probably one of the first times i started to re-evaluate my relationship with with drinking in terms of you know yes i'd gone out and partied let's say with friends and stuff but you know if if you were meeting up with friends you'd often have a few beers that's kind of what you did and i remember after my son was born uh four or five weeks into that i i met up with a friend at a local pub and went out i had a drink and i think i only had half a pint or a pint this is you know what about seven years back something like that and i didn't sleep that well the next morning i just didn't quite you know, what about seven years back, something like that. And I didn't sleep that well. And the next morning, I just didn't quite, you know, slightly fuzzy headed. Bit groggy.
Starting point is 00:32:30 Bit groggy. And I just wasn't, actually, maybe it was a few months more than just a few weeks after. I just remember not being in a clear state to engage with my son. And it really frustrated me. I actually thought actually that's not his fault he's he just wants to do what he's always wanted to do yet because I'm not feeling it at the moment I'm probably and I think that was a start for me to go wait a minute I'm not sure how this kind of fits in with where I'm going I don't think I realized it at the time but
Starting point is 00:33:00 yeah I'm pretty happy now hardly drinking at all yeah um I don't I'm close to not at all but I guess maybe that's that social conditioning that makes me stop saying oh I don't drink yeah I don't know what it is but I'm pretty close because you do drink you just yeah don't want to exactly but is it social pressure without even realizing it that I know, you know, but I think about this quite a lot. So, okay, you were saying, so in January, you sort of, because you don't drink so much, you don't go and do dry January, but you reduce your sugar intake or cut it out completely. Refined sugars.
Starting point is 00:33:40 Refined sugars. So you're still having fruits and... Oh, absolutely. They're almost like my replacement. So that's interesting. Just by cutting out refined sugars so you're still having fruits and yes oh absolutely yeah they're almost like my replacement so that's interesting just by cutting out refined sugars yeah so you're having plenty of sweet things like sweet fruits and totally yeah but even just by doing that because i think some people think i've got to cut everything out no i don't i couldn't do that you know i i think and we need it we need a certain amount of it, right? Of the right type.
Starting point is 00:34:05 Yeah, absolutely. I think we've just got to be careful we don't go to these extremes and make things so, you know, set the bar so high that nobody ever is going to achieve it. And we're just going to feel like we failed the entire time. Exactly. It's about, again, being realistic, right? So I kind of go, right, for January, I am going to be sugar free, refined sugar free. And that is what I do every year. We've done it for about four or five years. But if it, you know, if all of a sudden it's Sunday night and the kids are in bed and Matt and I are watching a movie and I'm like, oh, God, I'd love a bit of chocolate right now. Then I'll have some yeah you know but I just have to in my brain set it that for that month I am going to do something right for my body and get rid of all the rubbish I've been putting in it for the last 11 months you've done it for four or five years yeah um does feeling those benefits within January make you change your behaviour beyond that?
Starting point is 00:35:09 Yeah, because for me, we make the whole family do it January. But for me, I will do it throughout the year as well. So if I suddenly get to May, I might go, I'm going to knock sugar on the head again. So it's a bit of a constant reset. Yeah, I mean, I just feel like I need it. And to be honest, after January, I'm normally to knock sugar on the head again. So it's a bit of a constant reset. Yeah. I mean, I just feel like I need it. And to be honest, after January, I'm normally pretty good. I don't, you know, I'll have it every now and then. Again, if I want it, then I'll have it.
Starting point is 00:35:33 But I kind of get myself out of the mindset and out of the addiction of needing it all the time. And then probably by April, May, after a really busy beginning of the year, all of us, you know, when you're on sets as well, there's just chocolate everywhere. It's like, do you want a snack? Do you want this? And, you know, there's a bowl of grapes or a massive bowl of chocolate
Starting point is 00:35:55 and you're like, oh, I'm just going to have a little bit of chocolate. Before you know it, you're back in it again and you're eating it all the time, every day. So I reset probably two or three times a year i would say but it's interesting that because it makes you think about our environment and one of my top tips for people is always control the environment you can control yeah i.e once you step outside the front door these days you know anything goes you know you're having to exercise willpower everywhere you want to fill up
Starting point is 00:36:25 your car with petrol you've got to uh walk past as you're standing in line you've got to walk past you know the chocolate bars the crisps the drinks you want to buy a coffee uh and you're standing in the queue at the coffee shop you're looking at the pan of chocolates and the everything comes in lovely and even if you have used your willpower to say no then the barista will then say um you know hi well would you like a pan of chocolat with that so i think one of the one of my sort of top tips for people generally is control the environment you can control i.e if you don't want to have it keep it out the house but obviously when you're at work and you're on a tv set it's's there. You might be running between shoots.
Starting point is 00:37:05 You might have been really, really busy. It's pretty hard to exercise willpower in those environments, I'm guessing. It is. And also because I think, so I can. Like in January, we filmed Big Brother. So they're like, what do you need in your room? And I'm like, I need nuts and I need fruit and I need some cheese and I need, you know, like that's it. How about chocolate?
Starting point is 00:37:30 No, just it's January. I don't eat chocolate. Biscuits? No, literally. I don't eat like refined sugar. Can you not put anything? Don't put it near me. But it's quite difficult because i you know i work
Starting point is 00:37:46 with people so so i've got my my hair and makeup people who i've worked with for years and they're really good friends of mine they're in my room with me as well so i can't stop them no i think it i can't force them so it is there a bit you know in those situations like you say it comes down to willpower and you've got to have that strong mind to get you through it. Yeah. Change your environment, but you've got to change your own mindset as well. By telling your team in January that that's what you want in your room, you just want fruit, you want a bit of cheese, you want some nuts. Do you ever do that when it's not January? So let's say you're doing a different
Starting point is 00:38:26 tv show and they say what would you like in your room um does ever does that behavior ever transfer out of january so yeah yeah yeah absolutely if and and do you know what i've got um the guys that i work with they're they're brilliant and and they are you know they're very similar as well that they're kind of like yeah i'll i'll do a detox or yeah i'll do you're inspiring others around you by doing it i mean they do it anyway so so if i'm like oh god i'm really trying not to eat chocolate they're like oh brilliant brilliant let's all do it then because i don't want to eat it either so it's so it's it's not like i've kind of got a bunch of very kind of different minded people around me.
Starting point is 00:39:05 We're all. I'm just going to highlight that point for people listening to this. You know, some people may feel that, you know, you're a TV presenter, you're in a studio. You know, that's a different life to what I lead at home, let's say. But I would argue that actually that kind of challenge where you're in your work environment and you'll be exposed to lots of other temptation, chocolates, crisps, sweets, because all it takes is somebody who wants to bring it in. You know, you can be in an office of 20 people and if one person wants to bring in the box of celebrations or the crisp packet,
Starting point is 00:39:38 that's where it sits. It sits there, the lid's off, you walk past it. Every time you go to the loo or to the water machine, there's another little Malt that's why it's a ball in your mouth exactly and you know the only time i get tempted really these days is when and was when i can't control my environment so i remember um i mean nhs wards can be dreadful for this you know you sort of you're on nights and at the nurse's station it's just full of biscuits and sweets and you're knackered that chocolate will keep me yeah exactly um but i remember this january it's the first time i've ever had a book out and i was doing all the promo
Starting point is 00:40:15 i had no idea what promo for a for a book involves and the irony of promoting a health book around the country is it sort of certainly has a negative impact on your own health whilst you're trying to promote a health book. And I was tired. I was sleeping in different hotel rooms and, you know, I was starting to make poorer choices than I would have otherwise. And I would start to feel it.
Starting point is 00:40:39 I was more sluggish. I was tired. And then when you are tired and sluggish, you crave more poor food choices to keep you going and it's um and also comfort eating comfort eating exactly or you're in a hotel room by yourself you're not around with your family you just you know it's you can see how people fall into those traps it's like a constant battle but i just want to draw you know draw really really hammer home for the listener that you know the approach that you take in your dressing room emma in january is a sort of approach that people listening can take in their own
Starting point is 00:41:09 offices or in their own workplaces which is you know if you're trying to make some healthy food choices recognize that you can get sabotaged without realizing it at work and you know i call it keep that emergency food um keep those snacks with you. So bring with you to work, onto your desk, into your drawer, nuts, fruits, things, so that when, even if you are faced with temptation. Don't keep the cheese in the drawer. Oh, really? Okay, so that's a tip. You need it in the fridge.
Starting point is 00:41:41 A smelly workplace. A smelly drawer. But I think just being prepared is is a very helpful tip and you've you know as a way of sticking to your january detox you you know you tell your team but i think i honestly feel that people can learn from that and go actually just make sure that you've got healthy foods around you so even if someone does bring in that temptation you've at least got another choice totally look i would much rather have a little mini snickers than i would a handful of cashew
Starting point is 00:42:10 nuts but if i'm trying to you know uh live a little better for however long then i go it's four weeks do you know what i mean i can live without it for four weeks it's not like i i'm capable i'm i'm a mum i am raising children i can stick to four weeks with no chocolate like justify it all in my head that way and balance it all out like i can achieve this it is possible my biggest problem i think is lack of sleep well i was just going to come to that actually i was going to come to um talking about well i talk a lot about four pillars of health four four areas of our health that actually we've got some degree of control over that have the most impact on the way that we feel both in the
Starting point is 00:43:02 short term but also in the long term food is one of them we've covered that but the other three are movements which i think a lot of people think about and you know movement and exercise but the two ones that i consider to be most undervalued across society are sleep and relaxation which is the whole stress piece. If we, you know, I did see some photos this morning on the set of you working out with weights. If we've got time, we'll come to that. But I'm really interested because this is something a lot of mothers who I talk to, both patients but also friends, really struggle with is, you know, I'm trying to work. I'm trying to bring up children and I don't
Starting point is 00:43:45 get enough time to sleep I don't I'm always on and I don't get a chance to relax enough yeah tell me about sleep and relaxation um relaxation I suppose I I'm not very good at it I'm not someone who um and my mum is the same so I know that I've literally just got it from her, like we're cut from the same cloth. So I just don't sit down. If I have a day off, it's not really a day off because I won't enjoy it or sit down or just, you know, watch a movie. A day off just means you work in a different way. You work at home and do all the things that you need to do at home you do the washing you do the cleaning you do the cooking
Starting point is 00:44:31 you do the school run you do the shopping do you know what i mean it that that is a day's work in itself i said something really interesting you said if i have a day off i don't enjoy it do you mean you don't enjoy those chores or those those roles or those roles or you don't consider it enjoyment as in you're not just switching off and doing something for complete pleasure? That's probably, yeah, I probably worded that differently. No, I enjoy doing all of that, you know. But it's not a, I think in my mind when I think a day off, it means having nothing to do. think in my mind when I think a day off it means having nothing to do right therefore relaxing being stress-free enjoying something for yourself like a massage that that doesn't happen a day off is a day of work doing housework or or being a mum or a wife or doing that type of job do you
Starting point is 00:45:22 know what I mean a day off of my day job is is is that which i love and i love being at home um but but it's still quite stressful because um you want to get everything done and and there's never enough time in a day to get everything done i find whatever i think i don't think it's just you i think i find that i think everyone finds that these days and this is part of the point of me talking about relaxation is that if we are waiting for our to do lists to be complete before we do something for ourselves, before we doonent of saying, look, guys, even if it's 15 minutes a day or maybe, you know, two hours once a week, you almost I feel these days we almost have to schedule in. Absolutely. Our me time. But it sounds like you don't get the opportunity to do that.
Starting point is 00:46:18 Not really. And, you know, Matt has Matt has always said that. Like, I started going back to the gym after I had Trixie and I started to enjoy it because it was a bit of me time. Like, it's not the me time I ever thought I would enjoy doing, going to the gym. But it was just that time for me to engage with my own brain again and think about what I was doing for myself just for one hour you know maybe two or three times a week um but I couldn't justify doing that for me when there
Starting point is 00:46:56 was so much to do for everybody else I was always at the bottom of my list do you know what I mean like I just put myself last because I wanted to make sure I had done everything else or or everything else felt more important than going to the gym like it seemed I hear this from do you know what I mean absolutely and I hear this I've got to tell you I hear this more from mothers than I do from any other sort of set of people I talk to I really do and again that could just be you know the people I see you know I'm not saying that's necessarily reflective across the whole population the one that said you have to make it happen because he makes it happen for him so and and if he doesn't fit in that bit of him time he gets quite frustrated because I think that's the male thing as well i'm the same if i
Starting point is 00:47:45 if i'm that way if i'm at home for a week and i'm just around the family and i'm i'm not doing anything for me i can start to feel this kind of i won't call it annoyance just it starts to build up inside yeah you know even if it's for me even if I can just go in the garden for 20 minutes and work out or something, it's just something that gives me a bit of space. And actually, the way I try and tackle it now that I've got children who have always been early risers is I get up super early because I need to have, for me, half an hour, ideally an hour. But my daughter has an incredible knack of knowing when daddy's yeah i i will get it i will creep downstairs i will literally be as quiet as possible go to a part of the house where actually it's nowhere near her bedroom yeah but you know before you know it there's a little you know little footprints are coming in and you know like you know oh darling
Starting point is 00:48:42 i'm just trying to do this yoga session yeah yeah yeah you can do it i'll just sit here with you while you're doing it you know and it's it is the best and it you know it it warms you know it totally makes my heart absolutely sing when it happens um but would you i guess would you feel let's say if someone said to you this is going to be really good for you in your health right having a bit of me feel, let's say, if someone says to you, this is going to be really good for you and your health, right? Having a bit of me time. And let's say you mentioned a massage. Let's say a one hour massage once a week. Would that almost make you feel guilty because you'd think that was an overindulgence?
Starting point is 00:49:21 It depends how busy my week is. If it's not a busy week, then I'll go and do it. But if I am working a week, and if I'm working a week, then no, because any spare time I have, I want to be at home with my kids.
Starting point is 00:49:41 Do you know what I mean? I get that. So I just, I can can't but and and without sounding like you know oh I need some me time because my kids drive me crazy I don't mean it in this way at all but um at some point you you have how you know when it's when I'm really busy it's like weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks pass and you still haven't had just that half hour to to just stop for a second and reset your brain so I suppose what what you're saying and what Matt says to me is right like you you have to you have to make it happen like he will get up early like you to to go to the gym and train or to or to
Starting point is 00:50:25 meditate or to do yoga in the morning or whatever it is but I can't get up at six o'clock in the morning because I might have been awake half the night with with Trixie so so I I just I'm like sleep is so much more important to me because I don't get enough of it than that half an hour of me time. I need that extra half hour of sleep. But it's a constant juggle, isn't it? You've got a young child. I've got a young child as well. And I got to a point before I had her when both of my kids were at school.
Starting point is 00:51:01 So if I did have a day off, had some time some me time and I love my kids and I love being around them but it did it did make me start to feel uh I suppose normal and grown up and slightly sane again yeah and and I think certainly my wife has just experienced that now that you know since September both my kids are at school yeah and I think she has really noticed a huge change in her mental well-being and you know I've got to be careful how that sounds you know genuinely speaking you know both of us love being around the kids they are amazing um and but I think certainly for my wife she literally she gave up everything to become a mother, a very good successful career and
Starting point is 00:51:50 I genuinely feel that this has been huge for her, both kids at school, just that little bit of time where you don't have to be thinking about them I think that has been very very important I think you kind of go don't you
Starting point is 00:52:06 from you know no matter if you're the nicest person in the world before you have kids you can live a very selfish life and do whatever you want when you want to and then in the space of one day everything changes and you have to be the most selfless person because
Starting point is 00:52:22 they have to come before anything and rightly so have to be the most selfless person because they have to come before anything yeah agreed you know and and and rightly so i almost cut you some slack emma when that changes and they get a little bit older and they get ready for school and they go back you're suddenly like oh my god i can do what i want for a couple of hours even though you know which will say the school day is incredibly short once you know you can still never fit everything yeah but i think also when people for people who are listening when you have got young young kids you've got to cut yourself some slack you know your sleep does get disrupted
Starting point is 00:52:55 you are time you don't have time kind of resign yourself that's just the way it is it's like you know what for the next couple of years it's gonna suck my sleep patterns are gonna be bad exactly but do you know what they come in in the middle of the night and they're all like shuffling across the floor and going i've had a bad dream or i need the toilet or they just wake up and come in and i love it and i'm like yep get into bed i don't care if you kick me all night because in a few years time they're not gonna you won't even want to talk to me probably well i think it's a great lesson for people take the pressure off a bit yeah totally you know just kind of go with it maybe that's not the best parenting advice in the world but
Starting point is 00:53:37 but there's no set rules and every kid is different and every parent is different and we are all just trying to do the best we can so so just listen to your i just always kind of trust my gut and listen to my kids and just try and do the best i can and when i'm losing my mind a little bit i just have to step back and go they're kids yeah they they don't know anything really other than what you're teaching them. So just if you're going to shout at them, they're going to learn how to shout. And if you're going to be anxious and wound up and get stressed, they're going to learn about stress, anxiety and get wound up as well. So just try.
Starting point is 00:54:19 I think that is the best bit of parenting advice. For a second. It's hard to do, trust me, because I flip all the time. But afterwards, I try and learn from every time I lose my rag or get anxious or snap at them by going, like you said earlier, it's not their fault. They don't know. And they're going to learn that, aren't they?
Starting point is 00:54:37 And, you know, kids learn, as I've learned over the last seven years, kids actually learn and do what they see you do, not what you tell them to do. And actually, that's one of my big motivators for change in terms of my own life is, actually, I don't want to snap at them. I do sometimes, you know, and I feel guilty as anything afterwards.
Starting point is 00:55:00 And as you said, we snap from our own stuff that we've got going on. It's true, because I know there's six females sitting there that I need to get back to, but the kids don't. thing afterwards you said we snap from our own it's our own stuff that we've got going on because i know there's six emails sitting there that i need to get back to and you know but the kids don't they're just like oh daddy's here after school i want to play um yeah i mean what i mean this is it's not meant to be a consultation but one thing i'm going to say though because i can't help myself is this whole me time concept is you know it doesn't need to be an hour massage no it can be five minutes a day yeah and even if it's just to sit down yeah sit down have a cup of tea you know in in quiet
Starting point is 00:55:36 or you know people talk about mindfulness it's called meditation but you know these can be quite scary turns for people i i'm very much into talking about a daily practice of stillness. Some time in the day where you just have a bit of time to yourself with some sort of quiet. And when I say quiet, it can be listening to music, right? You could put on your favorite bit of music with your headphones on. And I would argue, as long as we're not scrolling our emails and social media at the same time, that can be a switch off. That can be a meditation. That can be a bit of mindfulness, like picking two or three of your favorite tracks, closing your eyes for 10 minutes and just listening.
Starting point is 00:56:15 Or if you're in a car or a taxi on the way to work, you know, some of these meditation apps, my favorite at the moment is Calm. You can do five minutes of that. You know, it almost becomes a habit where, you know, when I'm on the train back of all to London, I will try my best. I don't always do it, but I'll often just try and put on Calm for 10 minutes. So I know on that, you know, almost nearly two hours train journey, which I do several times a week now you know 10 minutes of that was a bit of time for myself yeah do you know what I mean um so I would kind of in you know if possible and again you didn't come here for a consultation but I would say I would say just have a little think you know I hope that and you can let me know how you get on um but you know maybe just think you know actually i'm gonna just give myself five minutes of time
Starting point is 00:57:09 today because five minutes is much more achievable than one hour totally right we've all got five minutes yeah so but um hey no worries at all um that's what it's like text messages emails coming through we forget to put it on airplane mode I know that's real life I'm so sorry
Starting point is 00:57:29 no but that reminds me of another thing which we do at home I don't know how you guys are with dinner times but we we've got a screen free
Starting point is 00:57:37 rule at the dinner table which without mentioning names not everyone always sticks to but that's something
Starting point is 00:57:44 that I'm really really strict on at home because I feel you've got to try and protect that time around the dinner table. And again, I appreciate it's not practical or not everyone feels it's practical for them. Is that something in your house that is an issue, screens at dinner time, do you think? Yeah, I mean, screens at any time really are, I think, probably more of an issue, obviously, for me and Matt, because our kids are young. So they don't really, you know, they have an iPad, but we limit how much they can use them. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:16 And we don't put the TV or any screens on when they're eating dinner. the TV or any screens on when they're eating dinner. For me, when I talk about screens, I'm talking primarily about, I know how distracted any of us are when there's some great research. If you have a conversation and we both got our phones here, we're not as present with each other's conversation
Starting point is 00:58:38 as if there's a phone there. And that's something we were finding, like the minute the kids went to bed and the TV would be on and Matt and I would finally have some time together and we were finding like the minute the kids went to bed and and the tv would be on and matt and i would finally have some time together and and it was like we were like this and i was very aware of it so i'd i'd i'd already said that um i wasn't going to use my phone in the house before nine o'clock in the morning so before the kids went to school i wasn't even going to touch it apart from to look at the time in the morning when I got out of bed. And I would leave it next to the bed plugged in until I'm back from school run.
Starting point is 00:59:08 And then I get my phone and the workday starts and then I can use it. And the rule is that it's down again at six o'clock and I don't touch it until they've gone to bed. But then I found I was touching it when it was my time with Matt. And then I'm looking at Instagram or whatever. And I suddenly realised and I looked at him and I'm like, we're not talking, conversing, like filling each in on each other's day, even though we've probably done all of that anyway.
Starting point is 00:59:36 But so many couples, when the kids are in bed. But you have to make it a rule because otherwise, and it's awful that you have to make it a rule. But it's society we live in even you say you don't look at your phone in the morning apart from obviously to look at the the time and actually think about that for a minute it's kind of like that's how much we're reliant that yeah we have to look at that for a time we can't look at a clock anymore we can't look so it's it's crazy how much it's infiltrated our lives and you know this is is the subject for another conversation. But I see the impacts on relationships.
Starting point is 01:00:10 Like I'm not talking about kids now, just adult relationships with these devices. I think it's quite profound because what's happening is that because we can personalize everything, we can have our own emails, our own social media feed, our own shows on Netflix. We don't have to compromise anymore we don't have to like let's say 10 years ago before this stuff you know or before it became so widespread you know people would often they'd watch telly in the evening and and they'd have to compromise you have to agree on the conversation and agree and community share that experience and talk about it whereas now you can either sort of watch the same thing but still be on your twitter and everything whilst you're watching yeah or you can
Starting point is 01:00:50 both on your own devices or you catch up on your thing i'll catch up on my thing and i think this is having yeah quite a profound uh consequence for many of us but but now when when we we kind of like if we catch each, like work emails obviously come in at all times of the day and night. So that is allowed. If you have to reply immediately for something, that's allowed. But if you just kind of online shopping
Starting point is 01:01:14 or on social media, I'm like, and Matt is a lover of online shopping. So I'm like, put that down. And he does straight away. But he's the first one to say, you know, I literally, I am addicted. I can't like stop. But he's the first one to say, you know, literally, I am addicted. I can't stop. But I think the first step is just awareness, right?
Starting point is 01:01:29 Yeah, exactly. For all of us as a society, I think we've got to recognise that technology has exploded in the last 10 years. There are so many benefits of that technology. But I think we also need to recognise, actually, we need probably some good practice rules across society.
Starting point is 01:01:44 How do we use technology that it really helps us and nourishes us and not in a way where it controls us. And I think that's where we're going in the next few years. I think we're going to start getting, these are good practices for technology. I certainly think it's very much needed. Let's hope so.
Starting point is 01:02:00 I was trying to finish off with, and again, appreciate you know you so far quite an unusual guest for me but one that I've really enjoyed someone I've really enjoyed talking to because I think you know real life stories real life issues and how you know what challenges
Starting point is 01:02:18 they pose I think it's very inspiring of people I think everyone can learn something from the things that you shared with me today if it's a health expert on i always ask them to leave the listener with some top health tips for example and i wonder um although i think you've just given a fantastic tip are there any things that you would share with parents or anyone listening or even even mothers you know things that you found helpful that you think might help them. And one comes to mind is the one you just said,
Starting point is 01:02:47 which is you don't really use your phone till after 9am. That is huge, I think. That is absolutely huge. Yeah, I mean, it's hard, isn't it? Again, because like you said, we're all so... Everything is on there now. Everything is on our phones. Our so everything is on there now everything is on our phones our whole life is on there and you know the minute you wake up your life begins right so so it's kind of hard not to but but um i mean i always find it weird like kind of giving advice or tips for for things that work because things that work for me may not work for somebody else.
Starting point is 01:03:25 So what's worked for you? What are the top things that work for you? That obviously works. I do like the fact that I don't touch my phone until nine o'clock in the morning. Well, you've got these rules in the evening with Matt, haven't you, about social media and sort of technology? Yeah, I mean, that's...
Starting point is 01:03:46 I kind of feel like maybe lots of other people don't do that, though. Maybe I'm just a little bit naive in my thoughts of... I think that's maybe just me and Matt doing things like that, but... Well, I think it's not wise, but... Maybe it is everywhere, and I suppose it's got to be, hasn't it? Because I do think it's very addictive. You know, it is. It's very easy to kind of pull that screen down and watch that little thing that goes around waiting for it all to reload to see if something new is going to pop up on your timeline. off you because you are such a lovely lady very modest I know you probably feel something uncomfortable about trying to give other people advice because that's just who you are and I really respect that so I'm going to say for you that I think the things that you have some of
Starting point is 01:04:34 those things such as you know for people who do need their phones in the morning I understand it may not be applicable for everyone yeah but I think that's a great tip and it's something that even if I look at my phone before nine I get up super early so I do try and have about an hour an hour and a half in the morning without the phone going on or if it's on it's on airplane mode so I can use a meditation app without actually getting all the noise if I'm at home and I'm walking the kids to school I started maybe about six months ago not taking my phone with me I tell you the school run is a different experience when you don't have your phone because you don't keep checking it for the time you don't i put a watch actually i put a watch on i thought if i need the time i just look at my watch games on it yeah and you don't you
Starting point is 01:05:13 don't get distracted i remember once to walk my daughter's school and an important you know an important email because they're all important early email came in and i started reading it thinking about it and my daughter was chatting to me and I didn't hear a thing that she said because I was so engrossed in what had come up so you know I think that's a great tip you know try and limit your phone use in the morning and the other one I'd say that you've said is you know try and try and you know if you're with your partner or with someone else try and limit your phone use when you when you're with them um I think one of your top things that you came out with today I think is you know what just take the pressure off yourself a little bit i think that's i think i think also what mums feel about these days yeah you know there's there's you know you
Starting point is 01:05:55 mentioned kind of like social media and everybody kind of having a presence and an image and look in a certain way and i think we can get so wrapped up in watching what everybody else is doing that we're not kind of focusing on what we are doing or what we have and the people around us. So I try not to focus myself on everyone else or worry about what other people are doing. Just be more present. I want to concentrate on myself and my life
Starting point is 01:06:28 rather than looking on Instagram and going, oh, what are they doing? Why are they there? What's going on? What's she wearing? Oh, what's he doing? Oh, that's a lovely picture. That's nice.
Starting point is 01:06:42 Right, where are my kids? Yeah. Well, I think, you know what? I think for people hearing that from you is incredibly insightful because I think everyone has FOMO of some level these days. Totally. It doesn't matter who you are. I mean, I have it in abundance.
Starting point is 01:06:56 Yeah. And people probably wouldn't think that you would. But you can't change it. You know, you can't change it. Like, don't be jealous of other things. Just be supportive of people you know there's a whole other kind of part of social media we could go into and and that's the kind of mean side of it and well there is that I think we all know that yeah absolutely but just you know
Starting point is 01:07:18 support and embrace and enjoy things for other people and and and just crack on with yourself and well Emma look I can't thank you enough for your time today I've really so welcome really enjoyed that I'm pretty sure that well I'm very sure that many of my listeners are going to really enjoy that conversation and your insights and look maybe at some point in the future we'll revisit this and yeah absolutely you know we'll continue this so thank you very very much, Emma. Thank you, Rangan. That concludes the latest conversation on my Feel Better, Live More podcast. I hope you enjoyed it.
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