Feel Better, Live More with Dr Rangan Chatterjee - #270 BITESIZE | The Power of Social Connection for a Happier, Healthier Life | The Happy Pear

Episode Date: May 12, 2022

Connection is what makes us human, and community and friendships are so important for our health. Feel Better Live More Bitesize is my weekly podcast for your mind, body, and heart. Each week I’ll be featuring inspirational stories and practical tips from some of my former guests. Today’s clip is from episode 38 of the podcast with Stephen and David Flynn, otherwise known as the Happy Pear.  They have a mission to create a healthier, happier world and have built a community around their café of the same name in their hometown in Ireland. In this clip, they explain how fundamental community is to our happiness and health and why connecting with others can bring us joy. Show notes and the full podcast are available at drchatterjee.com/38 Thanks to our sponsor http://www.athleticgreens.com/livemore Order Dr Chatterjee's new book Happy Mind, Happy Life: UK version: https://amzn.to/304opgJ US & Canada version: https://amzn.to/3DRxjgp Support the podcast and enjoy Ad-Free episodes. Try FREE for 7 days on Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/3oAKmxi. For other podcast platforms go to https://fblm.supercast.com. Follow me on instagram.com/drchatterjee Follow me on facebook.com/DrChatterjee Follow me on twitter.com/drchatterjeeuk DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. 

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10. And these packs are perfect for keeping in your backpack, office, or car. If you want to take advantage of this limited time offer, all you have to do is go to drinkag1.com forward slash live more. Welcome to Feel Better Live More Bite Size, your weekly dose of positivity and optimism to get you ready for the weekend. Today's clip is from episode 38 of the podcast with Stephen and David Flynn, otherwise known as the happy pair. Now Stephen and David have a mission to create a healthier, happier world and have built a community around their cafe of the same name in their hometown in Ireland. In this clip, they explain how fundamental community is to our happiness and health and why connecting with others can bring us joy.

Loneliness is something that is endemic in society these days. And when people talk about loneliness, they often imagine elderly people, you know, living by themselves. But I can tell you that as a doctor, I'm seeing a lot of young guys, you know, particularly between the age of 30 and 40, who are lonely in the sense that, sure, they've got jobs, they're seeing people, but they're not actually making time to see their friends. They're too busy. to see their friends. They're too busy. You know, we're learning more and more that being lonely is as harmful on your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, which is just, it's just profound. For people listening to this who don't live in a very tightly knit community like you guys do, is there stuff that they can learn about how they can create communities to help them lead happier and healthier lives brilliant love it i think the first one i totally validate with everything what you're saying i know now one of the leading causes of disease nowadays is not cancer it's not

heart disease it's isolation loneliness and depression and that's what it's saying is the root of so many of these diseases as you're saying and interesting enough when we were here we were on our way over traveling this morning we were reading stuff about the blue zones. And what the blue zones say is what's number one in terms of longevity, health, and happiness. It's not kale. It's not yoga. It's not swimming in the sea. It's the tribe. It's the tribe of people you surround yourselves. It's the community that's number one in terms of longevity in the communities that live the longest and kind of most wholesome kind of lives. You know, I remember a friend was telling me, it was Sarah after we were swimming in the sea,

we were back having breakfast in the Happy Pear. And she was telling me about an interesting guy who, you know, lived in just a normal housing estate. And he decided, I wonder what happens if I pull down the wall in my garden and put a swing and a bench in it. And he happened to live on a corner of the road. And he found it was amazing. Strangers would come and sit down at his bench. He'd come out of his house and And he happened to live on a corner of the road. And he found it was amazing. Strangers would come and sit down at his bench.

He'd come out of his house and suddenly he talked to them. And they went from being a stranger to someone he knew. And then from getting to know them more, he was hanging out with them. They became dear friends. So I think it's, in modern day society, it's just connecting with another human to be more intimate, to show our vulnerability.

And I think that's ultimately it. And I think anyone who's listening to this, it's simply like, I know we're on our way down to London later and London can feel so lonely because everyone's in such a rush. They're so busy, but it's amazing when we're, I guess, approaching London as a foreigner in for two days, you're really excited. You're chatting away to anyone on the tube. And like initially say, say you're in the tube and you pull out, you know, a little, maybe it'll be like a tub of berries and you offer the person next to their like, they think it's nearly like poisoned. But slowly berries and you offer the person next they're like they think

it's nearly like poisoned yeah but but slowly if you offer another person another person and four people reject but one person said yes and then you go back to the others and they'll all take one and then suddenly you're talking and it's amazing just it's great that you guys persevere with that and make you know all it takes is one person to great conversations in the tube like i've been surprised that i quickly can get to something deep and significant and i I think that's the challenge of society nowadays. Like there's never been a time where there's more kind of stimulation, more demands on us, more kind of, we're busier than we've ever been. But ultimately this is a challenge, which we personally both find is that you've, it's constantly, you have to catch yourself and go, okay, now this is where

it's at. This is life. This is everything. It's to breathe, to take it easy. And when we were discussing earlier, when I talked about, it's often you meet people that are terminally ill or who've kind of had a near death experience or something where they really, they really appreciate the moment where they're living life differently. They're not going around on autopilot. Like I often am, you often are. I'm sure all of us kind of in some form, we go in this robotic, quick, quick, more quick quick more more more where it's only when you can really catch yourself and kind of go okay life is now it's about connection we're starting the discussion earlier just about when is enough because so much of modern day society is all about pushing about what's next about striving for it it's about being

productive and progressive and whatever it might be but I think it's it was a Bob Marley quote that I saw on Instagram this morning that I was like oh oh, that's a nice one. It's only when you step out of the race, do you actually win the race? And I think it's with life, it's only when you take that moment to stop and appreciate how fortunate we are and how taking that present moment to suddenly just, wow, listen to those birds. They're beautiful. Wow. Look at the complexity of this leaf. And I think it's only when you can take a moment to sit and reflect upon that, you go, wow. Like we swim in the sea at sunrise every day and we've kind of gotten the habit of it.

And, you know, you tend to forget that there's this incredible, beautiful thing about nature. And it kind of just came about. Dave was down walking Elsie, his first child, to sleep, as you do at 5 a.m. in the morning. Yeah, seven years ago. And the sun rose and Dave took a picture and put it up on social media and people really connected with it

because it was a symbol of hope, new dawn, beauty, nature. You know, it was very simple. There was a purity to it. So we got in the habit of going down to see sunrise because we used to get up at half four to go into the fruit market. So we enjoyed those early hours of the day. And we were down there and I remember it was a rainy day and it was September and it was kind of cold. And I was down taking a picture of the sunrise and there was a fella there and he said, do you want to get in there lads? And I'll mind your, your gear. And it was like, and if anything happens, I'll get in and save you. And I was like, I don't really want to do this, but here's a man challenged me. It's like, of course I'll do it. And in I got, and I came out and we got chatting and he said, his name was Neil. And he said,

I'll see you here tomorrow at the same time. I was like, okay. So I went down the next day and then there was Caroline, another friend, Caroline Barrington, she was in the beach and she came and joined us and we swam together at sunrise and then we got out and then afterwards to see again tomorrow. So we did that for a September and then it was like, I wonder if we're going to keep this going. And then Hugo joined us and then Fran joined us. And then we'd go on the first of October and we'd end up jokingly going, oh, we've paid our membership for October. We got to keep going. And we've certainly done it for about two and a half years. And then we'd go on the 1st of October and we'd end up jokingly going, oh, we've paid our membership for October. We've got to keep going. And we've certainly done it for about two and a half years. And we, um, every morning, every morning when we're at home and we put things up on social media and I started using Snapchat about two or three years

ago. And it's very of the moment, like as in I'm going to have lunch now. Does anyone want to come? And someone actually shows up in a physical form. So you're taking this digital platform and it's actually connecting in the physical realm. So remember, we used to get hundreds of messages from people going, I'd love to come and join you. But they didn't realize sunrise was at 4, you had to get at 4.30 a.m. There was a wind that would have skinned you. The water was two degrees and the air temperature was zero. So it was quite a bracing experience, albeit phenomenal and very invigorating. So I remember it was summer and I remember going,

this was a Tuesday morning. I put it up on Snapchat, right, enough of these messages. We're having a public swim rise. Everyone's invited. We're meeting at the Happy Pair at 4.30 a.m. because Sunrise was at 4.50. And this was the big hook. There's going to be free porridge and we're going to bring tea. So I met Dave that Thursday morning at 4 a.m. to prepare the porridge. And I wasn't sure, you know, I thought there might be five people. There might be Raj, Mark, maybe a few others, maybe the usual crew. And we couldn't find a small pot. So we ended up cooking a big pot.

And we walk out at 4.30 a.m. And there's about 150 people. We walked in the middle of the road, down to the sea. The sun rises. It was a beautiful experience and subsequently we've probably had 500, 700 people do it, like big ones and now that's for these kind of big public

swim rise events which we've done really just to celebrate community and the simple act of kind of, you know, the sunrise is such a symbol of hope and dawn and a new beginning and like it's a great opportunity to come along, meet like-minded people and enjoy in this basic simple thing of swimming at sun and nowadays pretty much every day of the week we'll get people from all over the world come and join us you know like there there was a guy

from alaska stopped over a week there was a guy from boston came over because it's a thing and people know it's going to be happening and when you guys are in town you will be there at the ocean in the morning down at sunrise and there's a lot of cross demographics. There could be Linda and Detty. I think Detty just turned 69. Linda's 70. There could be Neil, who's like 45. There's a great cross section of people who come and do it. And like, although you swim in the sea, it's cold.

So it brings you back to the present moment. It's quite bracing. You forget what you're stressing about. You come out and then you share tea with people. You have great chats, great friendship, great joy. That although in winter it might seem like quite a stoic pursuers or kind of crazy activity, on the way down it's raining, it's miserable. You're going, am I crazy? Like this is ridiculous. And then you come back on, oh my God, that was amazing.

Cause you're just, we're endorphins. Do your kids ever come with you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kids do, kids do come with us. But I was going to say two things on that is like, we often call it Dr. C because it's just the best medicine there is of all. We'll often go down and you'll kind of say, like, I don't always like the person getting into the C, but I love the person coming out because it's such a, like it brings you back to the present moment like nothing else.

And there's lots of medical studies now backing this up and cold water therapy in terms of invigorating your immune system, your whole kind of body and your mental health primarily, really. Yeah, there's quite a bit of work going on about how it could be a treatment for depression as well, potentially. And it's just incredible. You have created a community where not only yourselves, but many other people also go into the ocean every morning in Ireland, even in the winter, which is just incredible in itself. But I'm interested on an individual level, you know, what benefits have you felt in your own life from having that sort of morning ritual?

I think it's one of the highlights of our days, honestly. And I can say me personally, like sometimes you'll go, oh, geez, it's so early. I don't feel like it. And it can be challenging. And then you'll walk down to your meetup. There might be a couple of people at the shop and we'll make tea. We usually make a four liter flask of tea and we'll bring some little snacks because it's as much the community and the chats after are as important as the sea. And we'll walk down and you'll kind of go, geez, are we crazy? And then you'll suddenly turn around the corner to the beach and you'll see the light. You'll see the dawn. You're like, you're suddenly, my spirits are lift. We'll get down to the beach. There'll be, it's this sense of overcoming this

obstacle. We're getting in this cold water together. And, uh, and you'll meet people on the beach and in we go. My goal with it, with this podcast is to really inspire people and help empower them so that they go away each week feeling that they are the architect of their own health. You know, they're in control of what happens to them. So I wonder if you guys could finish off with some tips for happiness. Okay, cool. It's about finding your tribe.

So every single person listening to this podcast and every single person on this planet is unique, weird, idiosyncratic, special, whatever way we brand it. But it's to find your tribe, to find people that share your values or that are passionate about the things that you are. And the Internet, as we mentioned, can get many bad press, but it also can make you find niche. You can find someone that's into tiddlywinks, any weird, obscure thing. Find people that are like you.

Connect with them. You'll feel more together, connected, united, and you'll feel happier. So I think community. I think that's one of the best things you can do for your immune system and your mental health as well. Community. I think health isn't kale, isn't yoga. It's a, it's a factor of many things. And ultimately we're all going to die. So find, do more things that bring you back to the present moment, make you feel happy. And ultimately I think most important thing as cheesy and as totally stereotypical as this must say, I think ultimately the most important thing about it is love. And that starts with yourself.

If your cup isn't full, you can't fill anyone else's. So start to do anything that cultivates that sense of self-love and brings you back to the present. As cheesy and as obviously an Instagram quote that might feel, but there's a huge wisdom and simplicity in it. Really hope you enjoyed that bite-sized clip. Hope you have a wonderful weekend and I'll be back next week with my long-form conversation on Wednesday and the latest episode of Bite Science next Friday. you