Feel Better, Live More with Dr Rangan Chatterjee - BITESIZE | How to Design Your Perfect Life | Peter Crone #290

Starting point is 00:00:00 Today's Bite Size episode is brought to you by AG1, a science-driven daily health drink with over 70 essential nutrients to support your overall health. It includes vitamin C and zinc, which helps support a healthy immune system, something that is really important at this time of year. It also contains prebiotics and digestive enzymes that help support your gut health. It's really tasty and has been in my own life for over five years. Until the end of January, AG1 are giving a limited time offer. Usually they offer my listeners a one-year supply of vitamin D and K2 and five free travel packs with their first order. But until the end of January, they are doubling the five free travel packs to

Starting point is 00:00:51 10. And these packs are perfect for keeping in your backpack, office, or car. If you want to take advantage of this limited time offer, all you have to do is go to drinkag1.com forward slash live more. Welcome to Feel Better Live More Bite Size, your weekly dose of positivity and optimism to get you ready for the weekend. Today's clip is from episode 199 of the podcast with Peter Krohn, also known as the Mind Architect. Now, Peter believes that the only thing separating you from living your perfect life is the dialogue that exists within your subconscious mind. In this clip, he explains that we all have the power to choose how we respond to any situation and the impact this can have on how we live our lives.

Starting point is 00:01:53 Why do so many of us these days seem to struggle with negative thoughts and anxiety? Human beings, our predominant fear is for our own existence. And so anything that is perceived as a potential threat to that is going to inspire fear. So if we look at anxiety on a spectrum, there's going to be these bedfellows, apprehension, concern, worry, fear. There's different iterations of that concern for the future that ironically our own brain is creating. That's the madness, right? And they all speak to our perception of a future that really is undesirable, right? One of the quotes I use, I say, most people are trying to avoid a bad future that hasn't happened yet. So that perception, that projection, the brain which is designed to predict and protect

Starting point is 00:02:46 that projection, the brain, which is designed to predict and protect, is creating an illusion of a future that is undesirable to one's existence. Now, that could be truly an esoteric conversation, existential, or it could be like, I'm going to get in trouble with the boss, or my wife is going to be mad at me. But it's not really a threat to our literal existence. But to the ego, there's a perception that something, quote, unquote, bad is going to happen. And so in present time, there's an apprehension about that. It's primal. At the deepest level, it's a primal way that we just try to survive. I have complete compassion for people who struggle with anxiety. And I want people to understand it's self-generated. Anxiety then at its core, or fear, I should say, at its core is there to protect us. So if we are

Starting point is 00:03:34 in real physical danger, we want fear, right? We want that as a protective response so that we can change our behavior, take aversive actions so that what we think may happen doesn't happen. I guess it's when we start to utilize that same mechanism, that same way of thinking, when the threat actually just isn't real. It's this imagined threat in the future. And that's why I love that quote, you know, we're trying to prevent this future. And we're getting anxious in the present about a future that hasn't yet happened. Yet so many people do that. So how does understanding that help people who've actually got anxiety? So first of all, awareness of the pattern to recognize that that is the tendency of a human

Starting point is 00:04:23 being, and especially when somebody's had, you know, some past traumas, right, which fill in the blank, it's every human being, right? Everybody's going to have gone through their version of something. Again, one of my quotes, which I know you're familiar with, I say past hurts informs future fear. So wherever we've had any past hurts, then the brain is going to go, well, that sucks. I don't want to do that again. I'm going to make sure that I can personally manage and control my environment such that I mitigate the repetition of the thing that hurts, right?

Starting point is 00:04:56 Which seems very logical. Unfortunately, it's really not because what happens is we tend to perpetuate the very thing we're trying to avoid because we're actually in the energy of it. We haven't reconciled it. So when I'm helping people, I'm really cleaning up their history so that they're no longer using that as evidence to project into a future possible repetition of something that hurt them. So I take one of my nba players basketball he had the the worst league um average in terms of free throw shooting at 37 the league average is 75 so it's not even 50 of that and so what was happening in his brain because it's for an athlete who's being paid millions of dollars to perform it's it's embarrassing it's embarrassing. He felt guilt and shame and all of

Starting point is 00:05:45 these things that human beings do everything we can to avoid. So when he's standing there, his brain is like, well, make sure you don't miss again because that really hurts. But now he's actually put himself into a position of a preemptive failure, which for an athlete is kryptonite because now he's tense and he's worried, which doesn't allow him to perform from the place that he does effortlessly when he's relaxed. So it becomes self-fulfilling. If we worry about a fear, then we tend to actually live from a place energetically with a frequency that is the precursor to it. We attract the very thing that we're trying to avoid, ironically, until such time that we get to a place where we can go, oh my gosh, I'm just living from history

Starting point is 00:06:31 and my hurts and fears are the byproduct of things that I haven't fully accepted in my life. So to answer your question, first thing is the awareness of the pattern. Secondly, compassion. It's okay. You're human. There's not a human being on the planet who doesn't have some kind of fear. It's okay. You know, if you're a parent, you understand if your child is scared, you hold a space for them. You don't berate them or you don't judge them and go, that's stupid. You know, you have compassion. You're like, it's okay. Come here. You would hold them. You'd give them a hug. You'd reassure them, right? So that's what we want to do for ourselves is recognize, oh, okay, it's just the primal pattern in me, where I'm trying to avoid something that could hurt me. That's, you know, survival, as you said. But it's unnecessary,

Starting point is 00:07:16 because I'm the one creating the illusion of the future that I'm now trying to avoid. When you when you see that part, it becomes kind of comical. You've got one brain. If you really break it down, one brain projecting a future that you don't want, and then the same brain that created the illusory future is now trying to avoid it. Yeah. I mean, when you really see that, it becomes borderline comical. I tell people that you can't help but laugh when you realize the only thing upsetting you is your own imagination. is such a crucial and critical step because until we get that awareness, we're sort of walking around with blindfolds on. We sort of are at the mercy of other people and other things around us influencing the way we act. And we kind of feel that if the world around us changed, if the people around us changed and behaved in a different way, we'd be okay.

Starting point is 00:08:28 around us changed and behaved in a different way, we'd be okay. When you get to that point, I'd like to think I did a few years back where you realize that that is not the case at all. That is a myth that you have created inside your brain. It is freedom. And I can see why you say that the main products you offer people is freedom. And I'd love you to sort of define what do you mean by freedom? Because I think if you ask 10 people on the street, would you like to be free? They say, yeah, but I guess those 10 people might have a different definition of what freedom really means. So what does it mean to you? What I'm pointing to, and you articulated it beautifully, is that one of the biggest illusions of a human being is that our experience is generated from circumstance. So therefore, ipso facto,

Starting point is 00:09:14 it's only sensical that if we think we feel the way we feel because of what's going on, well, then what are we going to do? We're going to try and control what's going on because that's the precursor to how we feel and we want to feel good. But that's exhausting. There's no freedom there at all. That's called victim of circumstance. What I mean about freedom, to quote Krishnamurti, who was one of my sort of teachers when I was very young and I found his books, he'd already passed. He's sort of an old traditional Indian guru. He had a beautiful quote. He said, this is my secret. I don't mind what happens. And, you know, if you can really feel into the energy of that, it's incredibly liberating. Now, I've got an addendum to that.

Starting point is 00:09:57 I say, yeah, I don't mind what happens. And I have a personal preference, right? So I can get to a place where, yeah, I'm okay with the fact that whatever's going on is going on. And if I don't have any direct control over that, then it's a futile endeavor for me to just grapple with something that's not in my immediate zone of some sort of responsibility. So that's where we want to reconcile and surrender and go, okay, well, it is the way it is. It's not like I don't want my flight to be cancelled, for example. And that's going to have the ramifications of now

Starting point is 00:10:30 I'm going to be late for my meeting, or I'll miss my connection or whatever it is. I don't want that to happen. But if I'm sitting at the gate in an airport and just getting really bent out of shape, that's all self inflicted. Now I'm a victim of circumstance versus to stay centered, to stay at peace, to have a much bigger understanding of the universe as a whole and the things that are unfolding are in accordance with how things are unfolding. And not to be in a state of resistance to that is what elicits the internal experience of freedom. the internal experience of freedom. So in that moment, what can someone do to kind of change the narrative and stop that lack of ease building up inside themselves? Whatever the intention is, going to work or going to a job interview or meeting, you know, maybe you've got a hot date

Starting point is 00:11:20 you're on the way to and you're not going to be there on time. There's this feeling fundamentally of the experience of loss, which for a human being is very scary because it fights the primal instinct to feel secure, right? We want to feel held. We want to feel safe. And when something in any way intervenes potentially with what we think is going to give us that security, and we think about all the things that give us security, like money is a big one, job security, financial security, even a relationship, having sort of some sort of love or companionship as a form of security. So when there's any perceived threat that could pull any of those things away, then the primal urge in us is like, oh, no, I'm not going to be okay. Now, to notice that pattern and realize it's illusory, you feel that way.

Starting point is 00:12:17 But as I tell nearly everyone, your feelings are a lousy indicator of truth. the indicator of truth. So if you're sitting there and maybe you're a little bit nervous, you're on the way to a job interview and it means a lot to you. So wherever we put more significance, we're actually also leaving ourselves more vulnerable, right? Wherever we put more importance on something, we're actually creating more potential resistance, right? So once we see that and go, okay, this means so much to me, I really need this job. Well, then if the train's canceled, then the cancellation is like magnified, right? Because there's the significance to the event itself, which appears like it's not going to work. Now, what could someone do in that situation? Well, first of all, you just got to deal

Starting point is 00:13:03 with reality, where you maintain integrity. So you would call the person, the company that you're going for an interview and say, you know, I really apologize for the inconvenience. I'm on my way. Unfortunately, a train has been canceled. This really means a lot to me. You know, you don't know how that's going to be met when you come from an authentic place, they might find that to be the most important part of your interview process because of the way you dealt with it. So you could energetically say, that's actually the best thing that ever happened because I can display to this potential employer how responsible I am and the degree of integrity I have that I'm going to communicate to you and let you know that, yes, life happens, but I'm

Starting point is 00:13:45 handling it gracefully. And hopefully that bodes well for you looking at me as a potential employee where there can be stressful situations, but I'm already displaying before I even get to the interview site that I can handle these things. So it could, through reframing, be the best part of your day that it got cancelled and you were able to demonstrate the ability that you have to have integrity, responsibility and authenticity. And therefore you got the job before you even got there. Right? That's how my brain works is everything is an opportunity. And it reminds me in kanji, you know, which is the Japanese symbols, the word for challenge and opportunity. It's the same symbol. Love it. Yeah. But it's just, it's so like just the energetics of understanding that it's so, okay, it looks like something bad happened.

Starting point is 00:14:33 In my world, nothing ever bad happens, just something happens. And then it's the way that we choose to reframe it. Yeah, I love that. And if we play that story out even further, let's say the people who you have an interview with didn't like that. They said, no, no, we're not going to do it. If you can't show up on time, then you can also continue that narrative and go, oh, I got the opportunity to stress test this company and see how they handle some very basic, simple things in life. This didn't go the way I planned it to. And that's how they responded. I'm glad I know now what I didn't go and sign up for that company. Do you know what I mean? There's infinite possibilities. Ultimately, we create the narrative. We can write the story that we want to write about that event that just happened. This way of thinking puts the individual in the driver's seat of their life, there's nothing worse than feeling that you are a victim to circumstance that if the train came on time, I'd be happier. If my wife behaved

Starting point is 00:15:31 in a certain way, I'd be happier. If my mum didn't do that, I'd be happier. If A, B, C, D, you know, go to Z and then start again. You're a prisoner, aren't you? It's in that story that I choose to tell myself that I get my power and that I get my freedom, right? It's just, it's comical to realize, wow. And again, there's compassion, right? It's not like you, oh, you idiot. You've always been responsible for your life. It's like, no, it's okay. Wake up and realize, oh, I'm no longer at the mercy of what's unfolding. In fact, we never were. That's the irony. We think we're, you know, I'm upset because the missus said something or I'm upset because my family did something or I'm upset because I lost some money

Starting point is 00:16:17 on the stock market. No, none of that ever affected anyone. It didn't. What affected us is our reaction to it. So it's still us. So I'm helping people transcend that world of self-inflected suffering under the guise of, the illusion of, that it was the external world that was the instigator of your suffering. No, it looked that way, but it never was. And once you see the truth, which is, wow, oh, it looked that way, but it never was. And once you see the truth, which is, wow, I am 100% responsible for the experience of my life. I'm the one generating how I feel. Then why would anybody with an ounce of intelligence want to generate suffering? They wouldn't. And that's freedom.

Starting point is 00:16:59 Yeah. Thank you so much for listening. This episode was the last bite size of the season. If you are a long time listener of my show, you'll know that every summer I take a break from the podcast for six weeks. Why do I do that? Well, my wife produces each week's show. I spend a lot of time researching and having these conversations. And you know, over the summer, it's really important for us as a family to take some time off so we can really spend some quality, undistracted time with our children over their summer break. There is one more Long Form Conversations come next Wednesday. We finish off the season with a very special episode. Of course, I'll be back at the very start of September with

Starting point is 00:17:46 the Wednesday full length conversations and the Friday bite-sized ones. If you have enjoyed my podcast, if you've enjoyed these bite-sized episodes, I'd really appreciate your help in spreading the words. My request to you this summer is if you found my podcast useful, if you found it valuable in your own life, would you consider sharing an episode of this podcast with five different people? My goal with the information on the show each week is to inspire and empower as many people as I possibly can. And you guys can help me do that. If you help me spread the word together, we can help spread this message of positivity, compassion and health. Thank you so much for your support this season. I hope you have a good summer and I will see you at the start of September, ready and raring to go.

Feel Better, Live More with Dr Rangan Chatterjee - BITESIZE | How to Design Your Perfect Life | Peter Crone #290

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