Feel Better, Live More with Dr Rangan Chatterjee - BITESIZE | This Powerful Tool Can Help You Find Freedom and Peace | Peter Crone #353

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Starting point is 00:01:46 travel packs and one year supply of vitamin D free of charge with your first order. See your details at athleticgreens.com forward slash live more. Today's clip is from episode 121 of the podcast with the mind architect, Peter Crome. Peter's mission is to help people live a life without limitations and stress. And in this clip, he offers a powerful tool we can all use to experience more freedom and peace. The way that people currently live is they look for solutions and strategies for the most part to problems, which is very logical, right? If I have a weight problem, or if I have a relationship problem, or I have a finance problem, I want to find solutions to my problems. And as far as I'm

Starting point is 00:02:38 concerned, that's a very archaic method of trying to find relief, because what you're actually doing is reinforcing the belief that you have a problem. So what I'm appealing to is what if there was a different way to access freedom that was actually more of a process of dissolution than solution. We're all human, we're all doing the best we can. And yet there is this profound, deep knowing that things could be a lot better. And there is a different way to look at life. And I like to give people new eyes to look at whatever they can currently think their problems to be, such that they find immense freedom from them.

Starting point is 00:03:13 The sort of freedom I'm talking about is freedom from suffering. Freedom from the limitations, constraints of our subconscious, which again, I'm going to assert everybody has. It's just part of this dimension of planet Earth and being here as a human being. We're going to have our own perceived limitations and constraints. So the freedom I speak of is more like a spiritual freedom. It is

Starting point is 00:03:36 awakening to the true essence of who we are beyond the facade of our sort of human persona. So how do I help people? Well, first of all, recognize where do you get triggered, right? That's the gift. I use an expression as one of my quotes. I say, life will present you with people and circumstances to reveal where you're not free. So if ever you get upset by something or someone, that's the thing to look for. That's almost like, something or someone that's the thing to look for that's almost like well there's the treasure that is the the pathway to discover some more freedom because if you're unable to sit with or be with a circumstance then what i i assert is life is showing you where there's a there's an opportunity for you to become a more powerful human being so if your mother-in-law or your uncle or your brother or your dad or whoever it

Starting point is 00:04:25 is or your boss upsets you, then what I would invite people to look at is what is the perceived threat, right? Because if we look at it really in terms of physics, somebody's doing something or somebody's saying something. But our brain is perceiving either of those activities as a threat if we get upset. If we're not getting upset, then we're basically saying that's fine. They can do and have their opinion and they can take whatever choices in terms of actions they want. But wherever we get triggered to some sort of emotion, negative emotion, that's what I would ask both my clients and your listeners to go, okay, I got upset by this event. So what is it that is being triggered in me? Because all the fear is in me that is causing that reaction. And that's the

Starting point is 00:05:13 tool, right? It's like, wow, if I'm upset by a circumstance, then I have an opportunity to find more freedom. It's funny for me, one of the biggest shifts in my life over the past at least 12 months yeah at least 12 months is decided if anything triggers me in life yeah that's an opportunity yeah to self-examine yeah instead of shunning it away and pretending it's not happening yeah it's about leaning into it yeah i go hey what's this teaching me because you're right if you were completely at ease with the situation it wouldn't trigger you and the example i use for people um and it's something i use for myself like social media can be a toxic place yeah you know there's there's many benefits of it but certainly some people get triggered a lot some people find other people

Starting point is 00:06:02 offensive yeah or in the past, you know, I have some sort of public profile, you know, people will take shots at you for particular things. And in the past it might've upset me. Whereas now I use it as a mirror to go, Hey, why, why are you being triggered by that comment? Okay. Cause I can't control what someone else is doing. Right. Right. So it's like, well, what is going on inside me? Yeah. And sometimes it can be easier to figure out than at other times. If people want to use that and go, okay, look, so if I'm being triggered at some point in my life.

Starting point is 00:06:35 Yeah. By my brother, by my wife, by my colleague, by my boss, whoever, you know, you can fill in the gap for whoever you want, basically. Instead of looking to them, it's about looking to yourself how does someone do that by first of all listening to something like this whether it's us or reading a book or another podcast where they're at least starting to become aware of the illusion because even in your own language you said well you know that person upset me yeah now that totally from a human perspective and we're all human doing the best we can so first of all there's compassion but secondly that is how it it seems right like no well why are you upset well so and so did something or so and so said something that's just everyday common conversation

Starting point is 00:07:17 but it's an illusion because nobody upset you somebody did something or said something and then that triggered the upset that was already in you right or if you said earlier about social media somebody found somebody's page or post offensive yeah well that again is revealing not so much what's going on over there in the post or the social media but rather what is it about my beliefs that are in conflict with somebody else's self-expression now peter some people going to be pushing away at this point. They're going to be hearing this and going, what on earth are they talking about? I mean, look, that guy has been mean,

Starting point is 00:07:54 so therefore I am upset. Yes. Right? So when you can see through that, and when you move beyond that, and you understand, and I say that with compassion, right? I'm not saying that as like,

Starting point is 00:08:04 I'm not sitting on a high horse and saying you know it's just yeah there is freedom on the other side when you figure that stuff out when you realize that it's a mirror back to you yeah for me i think that's where growth happens i think that's where where freedom lies that's where peace lies yes but what about someone i mean you need awareness first right yeah So we start with awareness and be gentle with ourselves because what, especially in my work, what I'm doing is I'm taking these deep, deep subconscious patterns, which are primal, meaning that they are deep in our DNA, their survival mechanisms. Then we're bringing what was subconscious to conscious. So it's like, oh, wow, I can see that I have a pattern. I have a tendency. I have a conditioned response

Starting point is 00:08:47 to a particular external stimulus. So I take myself, for example, because then I'm happy to be vulnerable about my own arc of freedom. So for me, what was a trigger was anything that was of value that was potentially going to leave me, right? Now that's a general term, but it could be a girlfriend that I was in love with or that I was very close to. The fear was, okay, now there's something external that I'm putting all of this value on. What if it leaves? Now that could also be someone's job.

Starting point is 00:09:17 It could be somebody's financial wealth. It could be their status in a company. It could be their home. Like anything that we put any sort of sense of worth upon, it's a human tendency to be worried about losing that. Right now, the stock markets are crashing everywhere. That's an example where many years ago, I would have been in a mild state of panic or concern, which would have been normal. It's human. It's okay. But now it is like, okay, it could be mildly frustrating, it's not what I want, but it's a different relationship to the same external stimulus. So, so it's just to answer your question, we got to bring awareness to what

Starting point is 00:09:56 is the subconscious pattern that I have based on my primary caregivers of mom and dad or high school or, you know, kindergarten or wherever we learned these survival mechanisms so that now i can find responsibility because that's really what we're talking about here is either i'm a victim of life where like you said somebody upset me well now you're a victim of your circumstance or i'm 100 responsible for my my relationship to life because as shakespeare said you know nothing is either good nor bad, only thinking makes it so. Now, if you really understand that, it's beautiful, right? So, nothing actually is quote-unquote good or bad. It is entirely our own interpretation that is

Starting point is 00:10:35 superimposed, our own narrative that we're positioning on top of an event or a person. And so, that becomes the world of I. And at the most deepest level, the ego or the identity or the persona, its main objective is to be right about itself. And that's, for me, I joke and I laugh with compassion, again, because people are doing the best they can. But when you really get it, people are arguing for their limitations. They're saying, no, watch me screw this up, or it was too good to be true. Like when these sort of generalized comments are thrown out there, what you're actually saying is, I'm reinforcing my own belief that things don't work out for me. So it's mad that we argue for inadequacy, we argue for insecurity, we argue for scarcity.

Starting point is 00:11:27 argue for insecurity we argue for scarcity and that to me is is you know it's very human but it's also such a disservice to the the immense possibility that it is to be human once you break out of these very primal limitations if people could understand the the the disservice that it is to make another human being wrong in any capacity, that alone opens up an entirely new world for people of compassion, love, acceptance, and for ourselves of relief, because I don't need other people to be a certain way for me to be okay. And that's what people are saying. You need to do this. You need to behave that way. Don't do this. You should do that. Like it's exhausting. It is exhausting if i think that my my joy my happiness my relief and my sense of contentment is completely predicated on how other people behave excuse my french but you're fucked from the get-go right because you're

Starting point is 00:12:16 saying that i need to control the myriad of moving parts that is my family my company my my friends and my society in order for me to find any glimmer of peace. That is a hopeless proposition. It is exhausting. It's futile. And what I'm inviting people to consider is you can allow everything and everybody to be exactly the way they are and still be completely at peace. And I'd assert that's the only form of real peace there is, is to allow life to be the way it is. One of the phrases I think that has influenced my life significantly is this whole idea that once you understand that if you were that other person, you would be behaving in exactly the same way. And that has been a life-changing phrase because what it does is that it takes pressure out of the situation.

Starting point is 00:13:08 It takes sting out of the situation. It brings in love. It brings in compassion. It brings in understanding. And you can apply that to anything in life. You can apply it. We mentioned social media before. You can apply it to friction at work.

Starting point is 00:13:22 Once you understand that if you were that person you would be behaving exactly the same way if you were born where they were born you had the conditioning they had as a child you had the upbringing they had yeah you had the life experiences they had you'd be behaving exactly the same way and i guess yeah you know do you know what i mean it's like can we can we apply that to those everyday things because if we can yeah it changes everything that's the world of peace and i think the ultimate person for whom we want to ask can we apply that to is ourselves because self-forgiveness is probably the greatest barrier to peace right it's we this is a huge conversation for people already right to consider wow what would my relationship look like if i stopped

Starting point is 00:14:03 making my husband wrong or i stopped making my husband wrong or I stopped making my wife wrong or I stopped making my parents wrong? That would open up an entirely different level of intimacy and peace for myself. That is huge. But what if I could stop making myself wrong? What if I could forgive myself for the reaction that I have of fear

Starting point is 00:14:18 or whatever it is that's creating my upset? That's an entirely different level of love and compassion. Hope you enjoyed that bite-sized clip. Do spread the love by sharing this episode with your friends and family. And if you want more, why not go back and listen to the original full conversation with my guest. If you enjoyed this episode, I think you will really enjoy my bite-sized Friday email. It's called the Friday Five. And each week I share things that I do not share on social media. It contains five short doses of positivity, articles or books that I'm reading, quotes that I'm thinking about, exciting research I've come across, and so much more. I really think you're going to love it.

Starting point is 00:15:03 The goal is for it to be a small yet powerful dose of feel good to get you ready for the weekend. You can sign up for it free of charge at drchatterjee.com forward slash Friday Five. I hope you have a wonderful weekend. Make sure you have pressed subscribe and I'll be back next week with my long form conversation on Wednesday and the latest episode of Bite Science next Friday.

Feel Better, Live More with Dr Rangan Chatterjee - BITESIZE | This Powerful Tool Can Help You Find Freedom and Peace | Peter Crone #353

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