Feel Better, Live More with Dr Rangan Chatterjee - Healing the Body with Meditation: Simple Daily Practices For Health & Happiness with Henry Shukman #590
Episode Date: October 29, 2025Do you ever feel as if you’re too busy to meditate, or that you’re simply not very good at it? This is something that so many people experience, yet today’s guest believes that this is ONLY beca...use of a fundamental misunderstanding about what meditation really is. Henry Shukman is an authorised Zen Master and Spiritual Director of the Mountain Cloud Zen Center in Santa Fe, New Mexico. Over the years, Henry has taught meditation at organisations including Google, Harvard Business School and the Esalen Institute, AND he is also the co-founder of ‘The Way’ meditation app, which offers a unique pathway of training designed to help people deepen their practice. Henry is ALSO an award-winning poet and the author of several books, including his latest ‘Original Love: The Four Inns on the Path of Awakening’, which explores meditation as a path to compassion, healing and presence. In our conversation, we explore how meditation can reconnect us with kindness, compassion and a deeper sense of being alive, including: Why meditation isn’t about achieving something new, but about rediscovering love – whether that’s compassion for ourselves, care for others or a deeper sense of connection with life itself How even just five minutes each day can begin to calm the nervous system, ease stress and help us feel more present Why kindness and compassion sit at the heart of health and happiness, and how practices like meditation help us embody them more fullyHenry’s personal story of living with severe eczema, and how meditation helped him transform both his physical health and his relationship with himself The “four inns” of meditation – mindfulness, support, absorption and awakening – and how they offer a clear and practical roadmap for practice Practical, accessible ways to bring meditation into life, from stacking it with other habits to finding moments of stillness amid a busy day This episode is a great reminder that meditation isn’t about adding another chore to your list or trying to empty your mind of all thoughts. Many people find it difficult at first and assume they’re not cut out for it, but as Henry explains, there’s no such thing as a bad meditation – the only one that doesn’t count is the one you don’t do. It’s about pausing, being still and coming back to the peace and presence that are part of being human. In a world that constantly pushes us to do more, Henry’s message is a reassuring one: that peace, kindness and love are not rewards to be earned, but parts of who we already are. Reading Henry’s most recent book had a profound impact on me, and I hope that this conversation brings you some of the same insight and inspiration. I hope you enjoy listening. Support the podcast and enjoy Ad-Free episodes. Try FREE for 7 days on Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/feelbetterlivemore. For other podcast platforms go to https://fblm.supercast.com. Thanks to our sponsors: https://drinkag1.com/livemore https://airbnb.co.uk/host https://www.boncharge.com/livemore https://www.vivobarefoot.com/livemore Show notes https://drchatterjee.com/590 DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this web page is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or qualified healthcare provider. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.
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                                        I was alone on a beach and I was just looking at the sun going down over the water.
                                         
                                        It was incredibly beautiful.
                                         
                                        And suddenly it was as if I wasn't looking at the scene in front of me.
                                         
                                        I was part of it.
                                         
                                        It was as if the me that could look at the world and see it as separate just switched off.
                                         
                                        And in its place was a sense of.
                                         
                                        Total belonging. Just being part of everything.
                                         
                                        Hey guys, how you doing? I hope you having a good week so far.
                                         
    
                                        My name is Dr. Rongan Chatterjee, and this is my podcast.
                                         
                                        Feel Better, Live More.
                                         
                                        Do you ever feel as if you're too busy to meditate
                                         
                                        or that you're simply not very good at it?
                                         
                                        Well, this is something that so many people experience,
                                         
                                        yet today's guest believes that this is only because of a fundamental misunderstanding
                                         
                                        about what meditation really is.
                                         
                                        Henry Shookman is an authorised Zen Master and Spiritual Director
                                         
    
                                        of the Mountain Cloud Zen Center in Santa Fe, New Mexico.
                                         
                                        Over the years, Henry has taught meditation at organizations,
                                         
                                        including Google, Harvard Business School, and the SELN Institute,
                                         
                                        and he's also the co-founder of the Way Meditation,
                                         
                                        app, which offers a unique pathway of training designed to help people deepen their practice.
                                         
                                        Henry is also an award-winning poet and the author of several books, including his latest
                                         
                                        original love, The Four Ends on the Path of Awakening, which explores meditation as a path to
                                         
                                        compassion, healing and presence. In this quite wonderful conversation, we explore the idea that
                                         
    
                                        meditation is not about success or failure, but actually about rediscovering love. How even just five
                                         
                                        minutes of meditation per day can calm our nervous systems, lower stress, and help us feel more
                                         
                                        present. Why kindness and compassion sit at the heart of health and happiness, and how meditation
                                         
                                        can help us embody these qualities more fully. How meditation helps Henry deal with his own
                                         
                                        severe exma, the four ends of meditation, mindfulness, support, absorption and awakening,
                                         
                                        and simple ways to bring meditation into our busy modern lives. This episode is a great reminder
                                         
                                        that meditation is not about adding another chore to your list or trying to empty your mind
                                         
                                        if all thoughts. It's simply about reconnecting us with kindness, compassion and a deeper sense of
                                         
    
                                        being alive. As Henry explains, there's no such thing as a bad meditation. The only one that
                                         
                                        doesn't count is the one you didn't do. The Dalai Lama says that if every eight-year-old
                                         
                                        on the planet were to learn meditation, then we would eliminate violence in a single
                                         
                                        generation. Do you agree with him? Basically, yes, I do.
                                         
                                        I think if really everybody got this capacity to be still and quiet with themselves
                                         
                                        and be aware of what's going on within them and around them,
                                         
                                        it opens up a state of peace.
                                         
                                        It just does that the awareness brings with it peace, calm, presence.
                                         
    
                                        And it makes a world a difference.
                                         
                                        Yeah, it's interesting.
                                         
                                        I've been thinking about that phrase quite a lot
                                         
                                        because, of course, we're living in a world
                                         
                                        where if you were to switch on the news
                                         
                                        and see what's happening around the world,
                                         
                                        you would hear a lot of negative stories,
                                         
                                        war, starvation, destruction of all kinds.
                                         
    
                                        And that's why I felt that
                                         
                                        quote from the Dalai Lama is so apt.
                                         
                                        You know, what would it mean
                                         
                                        to change that?
                                         
                                        What would it mean to have a kind
                                         
                                        and more compassionate world?
                                         
                                        And in your book, Original Love,
                                         
                                        one of the things you say towards the end
                                         
    
                                        is that in some ways
                                         
                                        that is the point of meditation
                                         
                                        to experience love more.
                                         
                                        Yeah, I know.
                                         
                                        It's not often said, actually.
                                         
                                        Most of the things said around meditation
                                         
                                        are about becoming more aware,
                                         
                                        becoming more mindful.
                                         
    
                                        And of course, that's great.
                                         
                                        But why become more mindful?
                                         
                                        and my my deep sense after having done it for you know these decades i've been doing it
                                         
                                        is that it's in a way it's always about some kind of taste of love and it can be self-love
                                         
                                        having compassion for this this being that i am who does suffer and it can be of course love
                                         
                                        for others that you know appearing in my life and it can be more sort of almost i'd say universal
                                         
                                        or unconditional, just a sense that to be here, to be existing is such a gift, you know.
                                         
                                        It's interesting, this is the first podcast I'm recording after my summer break.
                                         
    
                                        And I was in Australia and had a few live shows.
                                         
                                        And at the Sydney show, at the end, someone asked me a question.
                                         
                                        They asked me, if you could give one pill to everyone around the world to take, what would it be?
                                         
                                        I had to think about it on stage and think, well, okay, what would it be?
                                         
                                        And I said some version of it would be a kindness pill.
                                         
                                        And I explained my rationale for that.
                                         
                                        And the other thing that came out on stage was that I realized that what I do, Henry,
                                         
                                        with my books, with this podcast, with, you know, my time with patients.
                                         
    
                                        On the surface, it appears to be about health.
                                         
                                        but it isn't.
                                         
                                        It's actually about kindness and compassion
                                         
                                        because why do you want to be healthier?
                                         
                                        Why do you want to be happier?
                                         
                                        I think those things are downstream.
                                         
                                        I think the reason you want those things
                                         
                                        or we as a species want those things
                                         
    
                                        is so we can be kinder and more compassionate.
                                         
                                        Does that make sense to you?
                                         
                                        It totally does to me.
                                         
                                        I think deep down we really are.
                                         
                                        There's a whole world of research now.
                                         
                                        around what happened when humanity started farming
                                         
                                        and inequality started to come in in a much bigger way
                                         
                                        and prior to farming, you know, 10,000 or so years ago,
                                         
    
                                        it was hunter-gatherer bands.
                                         
                                        And they relied on caring and sharing.
                                         
                                        This is the theories that you'll hear from a lot of researchers on it,
                                         
                                        that caring and sharing, in other words, love and justice, you know,
                                         
                                        they're deep in our wiring.
                                         
                                        We were hunter-gatherers for whatever, 300,000 years or something,
                                         
                                        they're now thinking, and that's not counting the millions of prior times of evolution.
                                         
                                        But it's deep in us, I think, to know how to be fair and to know how to care.
                                         
    
                                        It's part of our makeup.
                                         
                                        And unfortunately, it's not all we've inherited.
                                         
                                        We've got wiring that can get really aggressive and do hate.
                                         
                                        and fear and violence.
                                         
                                        But actually, it's not like we've got to get something new on board to love.
                                         
                                        I think it's deep in us.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        It's kind of super interesting, isn't it?
                                         
    
                                        You mentioned hunter-gatherers and our evolution.
                                         
                                        And I often wonder about traits like competitiveness and comparing.
                                         
                                        Some people say that's who we are.
                                         
                                        Others say, no, love and kindness actually.
                                         
                                        at its core is who we are.
                                         
                                        And I guess one way of thinking about this
                                         
                                        for people who are stumbling across this conversation, Henry,
                                         
                                        is how might somebody know
                                         
    
                                        if they could benefit from a meditation practice?
                                         
                                        And might it potentially be that
                                         
                                        if we can see certain egoic traits in ourselves,
                                         
                                        so comparing ourselves with others,
                                         
                                        trying to compete with others,
                                         
                                        never feeling that what we've got is enough
                                         
                                        are those signs that we may benefit from a practice of meditation?
                                         
                                        Yeah, 100%.
                                         
    
                                        Absolutely.
                                         
                                        I mean, I think the thing about meditation is that
                                         
                                        it can take us to marvelous new ways of experiencing the world.
                                         
                                        That's, I think, a given.
                                         
                                        It really can do that.
                                         
                                        Again, there's tons of research on that.
                                         
                                        It can be profoundly helpful that way.
                                         
                                        But it also helps us be.
                                         
    
                                        with how we are. Rather than I might get this, you know, new way of being, a new kind of
                                         
                                        kindness and calm and clarity or whatever, energy. But actually, it also just helps me be with
                                         
                                        myself as I am. And so the first step is that it allows us to notice what's going on, to check
                                         
                                        in with ourselves. And once we're doing that, we're not so dominated by what's going
                                         
                                        on. You know, if there's, if I'm feeling agitated and frustrated and irritated or something,
                                         
                                        I can actually recognize that rather than just acting it out. So to learn how to be still
                                         
                                        and aware and sort of come back to ourselves and just be with what we're experiencing. So that's,
                                         
                                        that's the sort of bedrock of meditation. That's the foundation of it. It's just to be with
                                         
    
                                        myself. And sometimes I'm restless and I'm impatient and I don't want to be still. Okay, can I
                                         
                                        be with that? In other words, just expanding my capacity to be with what goes on in me, it's a way of
                                         
                                        kind of defusing my potential for harm. Yeah. Make the case, Henry, if you will, for meditation
                                         
                                        to the skeptic who's listening right now. Yeah. The skeptic who is like, Henry, listening,
                                         
                                        you're a Zen master.
                                         
                                        It's okay for you.
                                         
                                        I've got a busy life.
                                         
                                        I've got a partner.
                                         
    
                                        I've got some kids that need feeding and looking after.
                                         
                                        I've got an elderly parent to look after.
                                         
                                        I'm constantly rushing around.
                                         
                                        I never have enough time for myself.
                                         
                                        It's all very well you're talking about these love and compassion benefits.
                                         
                                        But that doesn't fit into my life at the moment.
                                         
                                        What would you say to that person?
                                         
                                        I meet them all the time.
                                         
    
                                        I'd say look it's not don't think of it as another chore on the to-do list
                                         
                                        everybody can find five minutes everybody can and just let it be five minutes of you being you
                                         
                                        five minutes for you not for I got to do this thing called meditation it's just for you
                                         
                                        five minutes just being with yourself everybody can do that and in my own story you know I had I had
                                         
                                        really difficult skin condition from from early childhood right into early adulthood and it was
                                         
                                        a very severe estimate sometimes I was hospitalized but it made me really uncomfortable in my own
                                         
                                        skin literally you know I couldn't sit still it was a sort of family joke almost Henry can't
                                         
                                        sit still so I was the worst possible candidate in a way for meditation but I was also the best
                                         
    
                                        possible candidate in a certain sense because I so needed it but it was the last thing I wanted to do
                                         
                                        was sit still but actually once I was given tools that would help me sit still
                                         
                                        my exima started to get better for the first time it really started to it was a long gradual process
                                         
                                        but it started to to release and I'm sure it
                                         
                                        was because I was intervening in the way that my nervous system
                                         
                                        was, had been functioning, much of my life,
                                         
                                        which was on a kind of hyperdrive, constantly, you know,
                                         
                                        over-activated nervous system.
                                         
    
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        You were intervening, as I hear that,
                                         
                                        really far upstream.
                                         
                                        One of the things I've realized in my career as a doctor
                                         
                                        is that a lot of what we do,
                                         
                                        medicine is downstream. Okay? You had, well, I mean, I've heard you describe your asthma. I mean,
                                         
                                        this isn't just a little bit of bad exma. This was horrific. You know, you felt like you were
                                         
                                        burning up on the inside. District nursing needs to come around and bathe you and put things around
                                         
    
                                        you, right? It's pretty incredible. But, you know, what do we do with exma generally in medicine?
                                         
                                        There's multiple things we'll do, but in essence, we try and give you something like a steroid.
                                         
                                        cream to get rid of the itching, right?
                                         
                                        Yeah. But that's downstream. That's not the cause of your X-Men. Of course, there are multiple
                                         
                                        causes. There's multiple things that contribute. But there's something really quite profound
                                         
                                        in the, I think it's the forward to original love where, I think, is it, Rick Hansen,
                                         
                                        who wrote the forwards. Yes. He quotes Tara Brax saying, all sickness as homesickness,
                                         
                                        which is just beautiful, like this separation from who we are
                                         
    
                                        or certainly let me give you my interpretation when I read that
                                         
                                        was like
                                         
                                        once there's a separation
                                         
                                        in who we really are, who we are being in the world
                                         
                                        compared to who we actually are,
                                         
                                        it's in that void,
                                         
                                        it's in that gap
                                         
                                        where all our problems starts
                                         
    
                                        and that could be health problems as well.
                                         
                                        Yeah, yeah.
                                         
                                        Yeah, I think that is right.
                                         
                                        I'd say there's sort of multiple levels of homecoming.
                                         
                                        You know, for me, when I started meditating, just to be sitting still and able to get these little moments of being aware, oh, I'm sitting still, it's okay, it's okay.
                                         
                                        You know, I was so used to being in this hyperactivated state where basically I was anxious almost all the time, you know, that it was so.
                                         
                                        such a gift there's this little instance of it's okay right now it's okay and it was me finding it
                                         
                                        wasn't somebody telling me that that was critical that and and all that i had to this the other side
                                         
    
                                        of meditation is it's so insanely simple you're just sitting here there's nothing there's kind of
                                         
                                        nothing to it yes it helps to have a few little methods and we we can get those but basically we're
                                         
                                        not doing anything. And I started to find in the midst of this sort of storm of itching and
                                         
                                        anxiety and stress and worry and, you know, that was kind of almost constant. I started to find
                                         
                                        it's okay. Right now it's okay. And then I'd be back to the storm. It reminds me a little
                                         
                                        bit of Ellen Langer. Do you know Ellen, the mindfulness professor from Harvard. I think you'd
                                         
                                        love her work. She wrote a book called The Mindful Body. She's written multiple books. And one of the
                                         
                                        things I think she writes about in that book is, let's say someone's in chronic pain. Okay, so you had
                                         
    
                                        chronic itchiness. Probably pain as well, having said that, right? Yes. Yes. It's easy, she says,
                                         
                                        for people with chronic pain, you know, I'm always in pain. But one of the things I always remember
                                         
                                        from my conversation with her was this idea that you're not actually always in pain.
                                         
                                        It's there a lot of the time, but once you're really mindful and you notice that, oh, I'm not in pain at the moment, you create a separation.
                                         
                                        It's not you being all encompassed by pain.
                                         
                                        It's the awareness that, yes, sometimes I'm experiencing pain and sometimes I'm not.
                                         
                                        And she has shown, with her research, incredible benefits and improvements to people just when they start to notice that subtle difference.
                                         
                                        That's very interesting.
                                         
    
                                        And I totally agree.
                                         
                                        and it was the same for me with the itching
                                         
                                        that I started, I've been so identified with it.
                                         
                                        I was just, who Henry was he itched
                                         
                                        and he couldn't sit still.
                                         
                                        That was who I was.
                                         
                                        And to start getting these gaps in another sense,
                                         
                                        a little space where, oh my gosh, that's not who I am.
                                         
    
                                        The itches are rising, it's present,
                                         
                                        but I'm not it.
                                         
                                        I am, I have my own being.
                                         
                                        And somehow that was another key insight and help with dealing with my skin affliction as I started to meditate.
                                         
                                        It gave me that little gap.
                                         
                                        And I think that's exactly right that mindfulness shows us that there's a quality of awareness that we can have that is its own thing.
                                         
                                        and so the difficulties we have are viewed from the we can learn to view them from the perspective of that awareness of mindfulness
                                         
                                        rather than being totally tied up in them yeah yeah in your latest book you write about these four ends on the path of awakening
                                         
    
                                        And I think it's just such a beautiful way to lay out a path that one might wish to take if they choose to meditate.
                                         
                                        Before you actually articulate these four different ends, throughout the book, you wrote something which I've been meditating on actually, awakening, right?
                                         
                                        You say awakening has a potential like nothing else to heal the destructive divisions of this world.
                                         
                                        And then you sort of say, so how do we get there?
                                         
                                        Basically, we learn to meditate and we learn to love meditating.
                                         
                                        Now, I'm fascinated, Henry, as to why people struggle to make changes that actually last.
                                         
                                        You know, people often listen to the show for guidance on how they can live healthier, happier, more compassionate lives.
                                         
                                        and people will follow something for a bit
                                         
    
                                        and then fall off track.
                                         
                                        Looking at that through the lens of meditation,
                                         
                                        I feel, and I used to have this as well myself,
                                         
                                        that people meditate to get something, right?
                                         
                                        So, oh, I read this study
                                         
                                        that meditation can help with anxiety.
                                         
                                        I should meditate.
                                         
                                        So they're meditating because they feel they should.
                                         
    
                                        Oh, at some point, I'm going to get something out of this practice?
                                         
                                        That's very different from the second part of that phrase,
                                         
                                        which is to learn to love to meditate.
                                         
                                        And I think I really wanted to explore that
                                         
                                        because there's a different energy behind that.
                                         
                                        If you'll meditate because, oh, you know, I know this is going to help me.
                                         
                                        I tried it last year.
                                         
                                        Couldn't make it stick.
                                         
    
                                        Oh, man, I'm going to try and do it this year.
                                         
                                        It feels like a struggle.
                                         
                                        And that struggle means at some point, I would imagine,
                                         
                                        they're going to fall away from it.
                                         
                                        So what's the difference
                                         
                                        and how do you go from that
                                         
                                        to learning to love to meditate?
                                         
                                        Yeah, that's a really great...
                                         
    
                                        I've forgotten I'd written that actually,
                                         
                                        so thanks for reminding me.
                                         
                                        And it's a really great question.
                                         
                                        And it's critical, actually,
                                         
                                        because I think our general orientation in life
                                         
                                        that we've been conditioned to have,
                                         
                                        and it seems very natural that we would have it,
                                         
                                        is sort of trying to get what we want
                                         
    
                                        and avoid what we don't want.
                                         
                                        and of course that makes total sense
                                         
                                        and that's fine and good that we do that
                                         
                                        but when it comes to meditation
                                         
                                        we're actually
                                         
                                        opening up the possibility
                                         
                                        of simply being
                                         
                                        it's like a shift from wanting to get
                                         
    
                                        X, Y and Z
                                         
                                        well and good, fine
                                         
                                        but what if
                                         
                                        there's something already here
                                         
                                        that we just need to
                                         
                                        to sort of fall into the arms of kind of thing it's already here and when we get even a little
                                         
                                        taste of it it feels good already and it makes us realize that yes i'm i'm absolutely right in having
                                         
                                        these goals and these things that i want to i want to either achieve and accomplish and also
                                         
    
                                        simply acquire and also things that i really want to avoid and be free of and and perhaps
                                         
                                        get over, and I've heard that meditation may help with all that.
                                         
                                        So in other words, bringing the same mindset that I've got for everything else to meditation.
                                         
                                        It's very natural and it's okay.
                                         
                                        But there's something else each of us can find for ourselves, which is really different,
                                         
                                        where we actually drop the search and quest and struggle to get what we want.
                                         
                                        We drop that.
                                         
                                        and you know it's a little shift
                                         
    
                                        there's maybe a little knack to it
                                         
                                        a little something
                                         
                                        and we'll get it more and more
                                         
                                        the more we meditate
                                         
                                        because when what happens in that shift
                                         
                                        is that we find
                                         
                                        there's something already here
                                         
                                        that we love
                                         
    
                                        yeah I love that
                                         
                                        I mean you've already said in this conversation
                                         
                                        that even five minutes a day
                                         
                                        can have a profound effect
                                         
                                        and there's
                                         
                                        There's a section in the book where you talk about tips for practice.
                                         
                                        You say, number one, not too long, so consistency is more important than duration.
                                         
                                        So five minutes a day is better than 20 minutes once a month kind of thing.
                                         
    
                                        Way better, way better.
                                         
                                        Right?
                                         
                                        And I think we've all got five minutes a day.
                                         
                                        And you also talk about establishing a regular time.
                                         
                                        You say, yeah, for many people, for most people, dare I say the morning is the best time.
                                         
                                        But you also spoke about things like straight after a shower or when it gets to dusk or before
                                         
                                        beds. Can you talk to us a little bit about the more practical nature of how we can
                                         
                                        actually implement this practice into our daily lives? Yeah, I'd say the biggest thing is to
                                         
    
                                        make the decision. I'm doing it every day for a month or something like that. Put a time
                                         
                                        limit on it and decide that you've made the decision. So you don't have to make the decision
                                         
                                        each time. Shall I do it or not? You've already made that decision. I remember hearing two economists
                                         
                                        wrote a book about dieting.
                                         
                                        They'd been having a lot of big lunches
                                         
                                        and they wanted to do something about it.
                                         
                                        And they said the same point.
                                         
                                        They said, just decide no dessert.
                                         
    
                                        It's just off the table.
                                         
                                        So you don't have to keep remaking the decision.
                                         
                                        It's like brushing the teeth.
                                         
                                        We don't really make a decision about it
                                         
                                        or about showering.
                                         
                                        We just do it.
                                         
                                        You know, because actually we made the decision long ago
                                         
                                        and we're just stuck with it.
                                         
    
                                        So if it can be like that
                                         
                                        and then you stack it with some other activity,
                                         
                                        that makes it a bit easier.
                                         
                                        you know like a shower after you've been working out or something or you know just before a
                                         
                                        morning walk or just before breakfast or just before the first cup of coffee you know stacking it
                                         
                                        while the kettle's boiling if it's just five minutes and let the kettle sit you know so you stack
                                         
                                        it with something else and and and but again the why yeah that of course that can help if you've got
                                         
                                        a strong reason and i mean for me the biggest reason is to be alive you know and that might
                                         
    
                                        sound a bit crazy but we're so busy doing from you know we get up and we just do do do
                                         
                                        that we don't get a moment to recognize I'm actually alive I'm being given the gift of being
                                         
                                        alive and aware of being alive and somehow I think that's the biggest thing about meditation
                                         
                                        it gives us a chance to actually know that we're alive. Is there something unique about
                                         
                                        meditation. And the reason that I
                                         
                                        I ask that question, Henry,
                                         
                                        is because I
                                         
                                        will often talk about
                                         
    
                                        the benefits of solitude.
                                         
                                        And I do strongly believe
                                         
                                        that in 2025, for most people,
                                         
                                        a daily practice of solitude is probably
                                         
                                        the most important thing
                                         
                                        they can do for their health,
                                         
                                        well-being, their happiness.
                                         
                                        Because we're living in a world where there's
                                         
    
                                        so much noise, we can constantly
                                         
                                        consume from the outside.
                                         
                                        So it gets very hard for us to actually.
                                         
                                        listen to what's going on on the inside.
                                         
                                        But solitude, of course, comes in a variety of different forms.
                                         
                                        You can practice solitude by sitting in meditation.
                                         
                                        But you can also practice solitude by journaling or by doing some breath work or by going
                                         
                                        for a walk in nature.
                                         
    
                                        So if we think about solitude as a practice, do you feel that there's something unique that
                                         
                                        meditation offers that those other practices potentially don't offer?
                                         
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                                        I love all the ones you mention. I do them myself, actually. And I think they're very, they've been critical for my development, my well-being.
                                         
                                        The difference with meditation is that we're not really doing anything.
                                         
                                        I would say stack it with one of those.
                                         
                                        If you're doing one of those solitude practices, walking in the woods,
                                         
                                        you're journaling, lovely.
                                         
    
                                        Just add five minutes.
                                         
                                        Put in five minutes somewhere.
                                         
                                        You lay down the pen, you sit on a log, on a branch, on a bench,
                                         
                                        and you're just still.
                                         
                                        And you just let yourself be.
                                         
                                        Because the big thing about it is not doing.
                                         
                                        If we didn't think of it as meditation, we just call it not doing.
                                         
                                        That's all we need to say.
                                         
    
                                        We're not moving.
                                         
                                        We're not walking.
                                         
                                        We're breathing and we're aware.
                                         
                                        And gradually in time, it's like this tide of commotion within us.
                                         
                                        It just starts to settle.
                                         
                                        It won't, it's not that it does it within every meditation session.
                                         
                                        But if we're doing it every day, over time, over a month,
                                         
                                        two months, three months, you'll start to feel it. The tide of commotion just recedes.
                                         
    
                                        The sense that I got from reading original love is, well, many things, but one of the senses
                                         
                                        I got was this idea that it's about the practice of meditation, not necessarily the outcome
                                         
                                        of the meditation. Some days you'll experience calm and presence. Other days it'll be a busy,
                                         
                                        hectic mind, but that's all okay. So instead of judging on the outcome, I mean, don't judge
                                         
                                        it at all, but if you're going to judge it on anything, judge it on whether you're actually
                                         
                                        sitting down and practicing every day. Do the five minutes. I mean, you're the Zen master,
                                         
                                        so tell me if I've got this right, but that's my sense. That's exactly right. And actually,
                                         
                                        we say on our app, the way, we say there's no bad meditation or the only bad meditation
                                         
    
                                        is the one you didn't do.
                                         
                                        Just the very fact of sitting down
                                         
                                        with the intention of being still and quiet,
                                         
                                        that's it.
                                         
                                        It's absolutely true.
                                         
                                        Because here's the thing,
                                         
                                        it's like, again, with that outcome focus,
                                         
                                        we're back to that frame of mind
                                         
    
                                        where I've got to try to get what I want in life.
                                         
                                        I've got to try to get what I want.
                                         
                                        And it's very understandable.
                                         
                                        But meditation really isn't about that.
                                         
                                        And for most people, when we start,
                                         
                                        it is and that's okay
                                         
                                        it was for me I didn't know
                                         
                                        what I needed I just desperately
                                         
    
                                        needed something different when I was anxious
                                         
                                        and really uncomfortable
                                         
                                        you know one of the things I've been thinking
                                         
                                        about on my summer break
                                         
                                        is this idea of
                                         
                                        things that we want
                                         
                                        how do we even know that what we want is what we truly want
                                         
                                        anyway right
                                         
    
                                        because that's the truth it's like we think we want
                                         
                                        things exactly but where's that even come from
                                         
                                        and how do you even know
                                         
                                        that getting what you think that you want is what you really want or what you need, right?
                                         
                                        That's exactly right. It's like that's part of a system. It's just one system of there's
                                         
                                        me and here seeking things out there that me and here thinks he wants. But if I can see that
                                         
                                        as a system, that's just a kind of, it's almost like it's a game going on. But there's a wider view.
                                         
                                        There's a larger perspective where I can see Henry's been trying to get this,
                                         
    
                                        Henry's been trying to get that, Henry's been trying to avoid that.
                                         
                                        But who is it that's seeing that Henry's doing all that?
                                         
                                        Isn't that Henry too?
                                         
                                        And it's such a different perspective.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        So the thing with the getting from meditation is we can start to get more calm.
                                         
                                        We totally can.
                                         
                                        But we get it not just by creating more calm through the meditation.
                                         
    
                                        we get it through patience.
                                         
                                        Patience starts to grow.
                                         
                                        We start to let ourselves be as we are.
                                         
                                        And so it's kind of a little bit paradoxical.
                                         
                                        It is.
                                         
                                        We get what we want because we're okay not getting it.
                                         
                                        You see what I mean?
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
    
                                        And that sort of highlights another theme
                                         
                                        throughout your book,
                                         
                                        throughout what I've been thinking about recently,
                                         
                                        which is why I think the timing of this conversation
                                         
                                        is perfect.
                                         
                                        And I have, I think I've posted about this before, this idea that the most important things
                                         
                                        in life, we gain through experience.
                                         
                                        Yes.
                                         
    
                                        Yes, you can learn things.
                                         
                                        You can read a book about something.
                                         
                                        You can get guidance on the importance of meditation.
                                         
                                        But you only really get it when you experience it for yourself.
                                         
                                        And then when you've experienced it for yourself, in some ways, it doesn't matter what the
                                         
                                        people around you are saying because you know that truth.
                                         
                                        I couldn't agree more.
                                         
                                        And that's what I'm always trying to convey with the meditation, you know, is like, I can
                                         
    
                                        say, feel this, feel that, and, you know, find deep states of absorption and flow that feels
                                         
                                        so good.
                                         
                                        It's meaningless unless you're getting it yourself.
                                         
                                        And when it's your own, it doesn't matter what I'm saying.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        You know, because you've got it.
                                         
                                        That's where I'm trying to, you know, help people with.
                                         
                                        Well, you really are.
                                         
    
                                        I mean, you mentioned your app.
                                         
                                        the way, it is bloody fantastic, honestly. It's such a beautiful app and the way you've
                                         
                                        curated a journey, a meditation journey for people is phenomenal. I've been using it myself
                                         
                                        for the past week and I'm looking forward to continuing that journey with it. It's really,
                                         
                                        really great. What you just said about, it's the act of sitting there and in many ways
                                         
                                        doing nothing. It reminds you something you wrote in your book where you
                                         
                                        You say meditation is the great adventure of a lifetime, even if all we do is sit still for a few minutes a day.
                                         
                                        I mean, it's a beautifully evocative statement that.
                                         
    
                                        And in so many ways, it is the polar opposite of how we've all been brought up, particularly in the West.
                                         
                                        Right?
                                         
                                        And I see it my children, for the minute they start at school, it's about do, do, do.
                                         
                                        some of the kids at schools are so over-committed and over-busy.
                                         
                                        And, you know, I respect everyone's right to their opinion.
                                         
                                        And maybe for certain outcomes, it is a good thing.
                                         
                                        But to me, I'm thinking all we're doing is training children from a young age
                                         
                                        that they can't just sit and be.
                                         
    
                                        You have to constantly be doing something and moving on to that
                                         
                                        and doing this task and this activity.
                                         
                                        I think that's a problem, right?
                                         
                                        Yeah, you might achieve success in societal's definition of success,
                                         
                                        but in terms of the success, I think we all want,
                                         
                                        which is that inner peace and contentment,
                                         
                                        I'm not convinced that that's the right approach.
                                         
                                        That's why I call the book Original Love,
                                         
    
                                        because originally there's love, and it's here right now.
                                         
                                        And if you have a concept like Original Sin,
                                         
                                        the Western foundation of its Judeo-Christian spiritual system,
                                         
                                        you're wrong
                                         
                                        you start bad
                                         
                                        you start needing to prove yourself
                                         
                                        needing to become worthy
                                         
                                        needing to
                                         
    
                                        you know
                                         
                                        and then you add that
                                         
                                        the whole industrial
                                         
                                        and post industrial
                                         
                                        work ethic
                                         
                                        work work work
                                         
                                        it's all
                                         
                                        you're not okay
                                         
    
                                        until you've achieved
                                         
                                        and accomplished
                                         
                                        whatever it might be
                                         
                                        I don't agree
                                         
                                        I think we start
                                         
                                        okay
                                         
                                        we're built in
                                         
                                        already okay
                                         
    
                                        wanted, belonging, beloved even,
                                         
                                        just by the fact of existing,
                                         
                                        the universe wants us here,
                                         
                                        or we wouldn't be here in some sense, you know?
                                         
                                        And so original love is what we can come back to,
                                         
                                        not having to escape some shame state, original sin,
                                         
                                        not having to escape that
                                         
                                        and prove that we deserve our place on this earth.
                                         
    
                                        Yeah. No. No. It's the opposite of that. It's just by being. You know, we can break the, again, I'm not saying don't do anything, you know, but have space in your day when you're not doing a thing. Yeah. When you're just being. Yeah, it's kind of interesting in a world now where people are saying that wellness is the preserve of the wealthy and the middle classes. But if we think about what you're saying at its very core,
                                         
                                        Yes, you have an app, which is very reasonably priced, so people want to, you know, engage in it, okay?
                                         
                                        At the same time, what you're simply saying is sit for five minutes a day and essentially do nothing.
                                         
                                        That is accessible to every single person.
                                         
                                        It doesn't matter your income level, you know, where you grow up in the world.
                                         
                                        So, like, everyone has access to that.
                                         
                                        but you almost have to stop the doing.
                                         
                                        And I think this is one of the reasons
                                         
    
                                        why people in the West struggle with meditation.
                                         
                                        It's like, okay, I'm going to do it to get this.
                                         
                                        And I think I used to do that.
                                         
                                        But the truth is Henry, I love meditating.
                                         
                                        I didn't at first.
                                         
                                        It was a struggle.
                                         
                                        But there is just this luxurious feeling
                                         
                                        of bliss and calm sometimes
                                         
    
                                        when I sit in meditation, that's not a chore.
                                         
                                        That's like, this feels amazing.
                                         
                                        Exactly.
                                         
                                        And I think everyone has the opportunity to experience that.
                                         
                                        I do too, just by virtue of being a human being.
                                         
                                        We already have access to it.
                                         
                                        The problem is just we're so conditioned in not knowing that we have access to it.
                                         
                                        It's just like a faulty imprinting on our consciousness.
                                         
    
                                        that our society has given us, our culture has given us.
                                         
                                        You must be doing, you must be achieving,
                                         
                                        you must be avoiding what you don't want to face.
                                         
                                        And actually, it's really sad in a way.
                                         
                                        It's beautiful in the, oh my gosh, we've all got it.
                                         
                                        We've just got to learn.
                                         
                                        It's sad to see children being conditioned out of heads.
                                         
                                        It is.
                                         
    
                                        That's something I find deeply sad
                                         
                                        because it's like, no, no, you know,
                                         
                                        they've already got to.
                                         
                                        Got it. They're born with it.
                                         
                                        You know, I'd love to know your views on happiness.
                                         
                                        Actually, I believe happiness is our default state.
                                         
                                        And one of the bits of evidence, as it were, that I would use to support my case is
                                         
                                        just look at children, look at a two-year-old, a three-year-old, look how present, calm in the
                                         
    
                                        moment they are.
                                         
                                        Exactly.
                                         
                                        You know, we're exploring and creating.
                                         
                                        Yeah, that's who we are before societal conditioning.
                                         
                                        Yes.
                                         
                                        So on the subjects of happiness, I mean, what's the relationship between meditation and happiness and is happiness our default state?
                                         
                                        I believe it is. Again, original love. It's like coming back to a profound well-being that's really always here.
                                         
                                        It's like, and honestly, it can even in difficult situations, you know, when we've got something complex, challenging going on and we're stressed around it, even then, I believe, actually, there's a,
                                         
    
                                        there's an unconditional well-being that's actually present even then.
                                         
                                        And I've known it myself.
                                         
                                        I've found that in times of difficulty
                                         
                                        when suddenly it flips and suddenly I can see Henry's in this difficult situation.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        But there's a larger perspective that I sense, you know, that is at peace
                                         
                                        and it's already well, even while there's the challenge going on.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
    
                                        So I do think it's like,
                                         
                                        I'd say is, is it a default setting or is it that there's just this slightly wider perspective?
                                         
                                        I feel there's always a bigger picture, you know, and in the slightly wider perspective,
                                         
                                        that's where we see, wow, yeah, there's a lot of turmoil and difficulty and trouble,
                                         
                                        and still there's an okayness.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        that's able to see from that larger perspective.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
    
                                        Let's get into these four ends on the path of awakening.
                                         
                                        Mindfulness, support, absorption, and awakening.
                                         
                                        It's one of the first times I've actually seen a roadmap laid out
                                         
                                        on the kind of journey one could take if they participate in meditation.
                                         
                                        And it's a journey that I'm thinking, yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm,
                                         
                                        ready for this journey. I kind of, the truth is I'm already on this journey, because I've been
                                         
                                        meditating on and off for years. I particularly probably want to focus on the final two, absorption and
                                         
                                        awakening. But if you wouldn't mind just giving a brief overview of each one what they are, just so people
                                         
    
                                        can follow along, that would be super helpful. So, you know, what are these four ends? And why did you
                                         
                                        choose them. Yeah, okay. Well, I think these are the primary dimensions that meditation practice can
                                         
                                        open up for us that they deal with. And I wanted to write this and lay it out like this because
                                         
                                        there's a lot of confusion around it. Meditation has grown exponentially in the globalized Western
                                         
                                        world over the last 20 years. That's a good thing? It's a very good thing. Okay. But it's all new here
                                         
                                        and there's still confusion around it. So people hear the term awakening. And they're
                                         
                                        here mindfulness. Are they the same thing? They might think, well, this teacher said they are.
                                         
                                        This one said they're not. I don't know. I'm confused. This is a basic map of the ground,
                                         
    
                                        of the territory. And I'm not sure it's entirely comprehensive, but it's pretty good. It covers,
                                         
                                        it covers all, pretty much all the basics. So the first mindfulness, yes, about becoming more
                                         
                                        aware, able to recognize what's going on inside me, thoughts and feelings, emotions, moods.
                                         
                                        can be very happy
                                         
                                        can be not so happy
                                         
                                        and talk in the mind
                                         
                                        images in the mind
                                         
                                        the experience of thinking
                                         
    
                                        very common for all of us
                                         
                                        energies in the body
                                         
                                        being more aware of that
                                         
                                        and also being aware of hearing
                                         
                                        hearing the sounds
                                         
                                        seeing sights and colours
                                         
                                        and shapes and faces and everything
                                         
                                        and body sensation
                                         
    
                                        physical body sensation
                                         
                                        being more aware
                                         
                                        in all those ways
                                         
                                        and that's my
                                         
                                        mindfulness. And it can help to dial down our nervous system. It can really help to interrupt
                                         
                                        when our nervous system is on overdrive, when the sympathetic nervous system is firing up,
                                         
                                        we're in subtle stress or strong stress. It can dial it down and we come back to a baseline.
                                         
                                        We open up the parasympathetic nervous system, more rest, rest and digest, coming into a
                                         
    
                                        karma state. And so it really helps to kind of tone and balance the nervous system.
                                         
                                        Before we go into the second end, just on that first set of mindfulness, if that's the only
                                         
                                        one that we ever focused on, those things you're talking about are pretty incredible.
                                         
                                        They're enormous.
                                         
                                        Moving your system from the stressed out, burnt out, chronically exhausted state that many
                                         
                                        people find themselves in into that more peaceful, relaxed state, which is also going to impact
                                         
                                        your sleep, how calm you feel, your guts. All these things are going to improve.
                                         
                                        even that alone that first in has huge benefits doesn't it it totally does i mean i'd say
                                         
    
                                        most of the first few years of my meditation practice was all about that and one of the things
                                         
                                        that happened to me when i started to meditate and you know i really really seriously started i'm
                                         
                                        i did twice a day every day you know without fail because i was desperate enough that i needed to because
                                         
                                        of your skin because of my skin and the anxiety with it that came with it i slept insanely the first week
                                         
                                        I was sleeping 18 hours a night, 20 hours a night, literally.
                                         
                                        Like a lion.
                                         
                                        Yeah, exactly.
                                         
                                        Literally.
                                         
    
                                        I was so exhausted, and I hadn't realized I was.
                                         
                                        And then I paid off my sleep debt, as some people called it.
                                         
                                        And I suddenly was awake.
                                         
                                        I love the fact that you shared that.
                                         
                                        One thing I've noticed, people will contact me,
                                         
                                        or if I'm doing a live event and we do a breathwork practice together
                                         
                                        or a certain, you know, we go through something
                                         
                                        and often people will yawn.
                                         
    
                                        And there's often confusion, you know,
                                         
                                        say, oh, it's making me tired.
                                         
                                        It's not making you tired.
                                         
                                        It's just you're stuck in a stressed out
                                         
                                        adrenaline-driven-driven nervous system the whole time.
                                         
                                        When you actually relax,
                                         
                                        your body is realizing how tired
                                         
                                        and chronically exhausted it is.
                                         
    
                                        So the practice isn't making you tired.
                                         
                                        It's just uncovering what is actually there within already.
                                         
                                        Exactly.
                                         
                                        Exactly, exactly. And I always say like, it's a barometer meditation. It shows us how we're doing. And sometimes we're just exhausted and we need to sleep. I always tell people, if you start meditating and you get really sleepy, lie down to sleep. Count the nap. If you need a nap, count it as meditation. So even, that's kind of interesting. Even if the meditation teaches you that you're chronically exhausted and need to rest. And instead of completing the meditation, you nap, that's still a benefit.
                                         
                                        Because had you not done that, you probably would have kept doing, doing, doing and pushing through
                                         
                                        and kicking the can down the road.
                                         
                                        That's exactly right.
                                         
                                        Which just gives you the opportunities to go, oh, I need to rest.
                                         
    
                                        Exactly.
                                         
                                        It's checking in with ourselves, coming back to ourselves, seeing how we're doing.
                                         
                                        It's critical.
                                         
                                        Okay.
                                         
                                        I think you mentioned this in the book, but again, is it, are we looking for that path up to the top of the mountain?
                                         
                                        And along the way on this path of meditation, we pass these ends?
                                         
                                        I mean, that sort of makes it feel as that it's a linear journey,
                                         
                                        which, of course, I don't think it is a linear journey.
                                         
    
                                        But is that useful for us to look at it like that?
                                         
                                        I think early on it is useful.
                                         
                                        It's good to feel that we're on a journey.
                                         
                                        Got it.
                                         
                                        And we build this into the app, by the way,
                                         
                                        so that people, because it's a single no-choice pathway we have on the app,
                                         
                                        which moves through these four ins,
                                         
                                        but it does it cyclically.
                                         
    
                                        But it helps us to know that we sort of feel like we're going somewhere.
                                         
                                        And in some ways we are.
                                         
                                        But on the other hand, as I think you're suggesting, really,
                                         
                                        these are more like dimensions of our being.
                                         
                                        They're not exactly sequential.
                                         
                                        They may be somewhat, but they totally don't have to be.
                                         
                                        Okay.
                                         
                                        I guess for the purpose of this conversation,
                                         
    
                                        to really land the concepts,
                                         
                                        I guess we can think of it a little bit linear, right?
                                         
                                        So the first in we pass on the way to the top of the mountain
                                         
                                        is mindfulness.
                                         
                                        And you've just covered that.
                                         
                                        the next in is that of support.
                                         
                                        Yeah, support, connection, connectedness.
                                         
                                        So this is critical because, you know,
                                         
    
                                        now there's millions of people now doing mindfulness.
                                         
                                        And just like we've already said in this conversation,
                                         
                                        they very often feel kind of,
                                         
                                        I've got to do my mindfulness.
                                         
                                        It's like going to the gym and doing my reps.
                                         
                                        I've got to do my work with the mindfulness.
                                         
                                        this, that misses a critical point from my point of view, which is that actually as we settle,
                                         
                                        we get more connected. We're more open to relating. We're more open. We become more receptive.
                                         
    
                                        We're ready to receive connection and support. And the way this can happen is in the world
                                         
                                        of meditation. For example, simply having guidance can be really helpful early on on the meditation
                                         
                                        journey. I mean meditation guidance. Having somebody actually guide your sitting. So from a teacher,
                                         
                                        from a class that you attend, from an app like you're at, for example, where you're giving us the
                                         
                                        guidance. And there's obviously, I don't know how many meditation apps out there. Yes. But this all
                                         
                                        counts as
                                         
                                        sort of guidance and support, does it?
                                         
                                        It totally does, yeah.
                                         
    
                                        So don't feel that it's just down to you on your own.
                                         
                                        Just reaching out for a little bit of support
                                         
                                        in any of those ways
                                         
                                        or with a friend who's trying to meditate.
                                         
                                        Is this potentially one of the reasons
                                         
                                        why we fall off these practices
                                         
                                        because let's say someone hears this podcast
                                         
                                        and goes, yeah, you know,
                                         
    
                                        all those benefits and mindfulness,
                                         
                                        I quite fancy that.
                                         
                                        And so they start meditating or they download your app
                                         
                                        and start using the way.
                                         
                                        And it's the risk that you'll do it for a little while
                                         
                                        as a solo pursuit.
                                         
                                        But at some point, it will just get too much
                                         
                                        because it's always down to you
                                         
    
                                        and your motivation and your discipline and your desire.
                                         
                                        Help me in the sand support, right?
                                         
                                        Because fundamentally, unless someone has access
                                         
                                        to a class nearby,
                                         
                                        they kind of are doing it themselves in their living room or in their bedroom, aren't they?
                                         
                                        So what does support mean in that context?
                                         
                                        Yeah, well, I mean, that's exactly, you've laid out the problem exactly,
                                         
                                        that people, if they're falling off, they'll think,
                                         
    
                                        I must push myself harder, or it's down to me.
                                         
                                        One phone call to a friend who's also trying to meditate will do far more.
                                         
                                        It's like suddenly you're not alone in it.
                                         
                                        And that makes so much difference.
                                         
                                        And or one yoga class where there's meditation at the end.
                                         
                                        Just being in a context of other human beings.
                                         
                                        Even if it's remotely.
                                         
                                        Yeah, even if it's remotely.
                                         
    
                                        Totally.
                                         
                                        Yeah, absolutely.
                                         
                                        So don't do this by yourself.
                                         
                                        Have a little bit of a connection with some community or some person that is already doing it.
                                         
                                        We typically think it's down to me to make something happen,
                                         
                                        especially with a new habit formation, something like that.
                                         
                                        But actually, and it is, it is,
                                         
                                        but one little sense of connection to somebody else
                                         
    
                                        who's also trying to do it
                                         
                                        will make often far more difference
                                         
                                        than me trying to push myself.
                                         
                                        It's surprising how that works.
                                         
                                        You know, I think, I mean, I used to find this as a writer.
                                         
                                        I started writing very young
                                         
                                        and, you know, it was how I made my living for a long time.
                                         
                                        and I'd get stuck and I'd be trying to work it out, trying to work it out.
                                         
    
                                        Then I happen to run into a friend who's an artist or another writer.
                                         
                                        And we just chat for 10 minutes or we go and have a cup of coffee, chat for an hour.
                                         
                                        And suddenly, I've got a whole new orientation.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        And the problem is different.
                                         
                                        And I can handle it.
                                         
                                        And you know you're not alone or the struggles you're having are the same struggles they're having.
                                         
                                        Exactly.
                                         
    
                                        You just feel this connection to what it means to be human.
                                         
                                        when you talk to other people, you know, oh, you're struggling with that as well.
                                         
                                        Yeah, so am I.
                                         
                                        Suddenly you have this new energy and enthusiasm just when you know you're not alone.
                                         
                                        That's exactly right.
                                         
                                        That's precisely it.
                                         
                                        And that's really important on this journey of meditation.
                                         
                                        Just also to say that there's ways in which we're just totally supported already.
                                         
    
                                        And meditation, I believe, is about finding some of those.
                                         
                                        You know, we wouldn't be here without breathing.
                                         
                                        the atmosphere is
                                         
                                        every breath
                                         
                                        every moment
                                         
                                        we're being supported
                                         
                                        by the atmosphere
                                         
                                        we wouldn't be here
                                         
    
                                        without fluids
                                         
                                        we need to drink
                                         
                                        we're made of
                                         
                                        whatever it is
                                         
                                        70% seawater
                                         
                                        wherever we are
                                         
                                        you know we're
                                         
                                        we're totally dependent
                                         
    
                                        you know we think we're independent
                                         
                                        and isolated
                                         
                                        but we're not actually
                                         
                                        and you know
                                         
                                        there's the flesh of my body
                                         
                                        is everything I eat
                                         
                                        has made it
                                         
                                        and I'm made of this earth
                                         
    
                                        and so and the warmth
                                         
                                        So the sun keeps me alive.
                                         
                                        And so the point is just rediscovering, you know,
                                         
                                        that we're kind of embedded in this world.
                                         
                                        We're not isolated.
                                         
                                        That's another aspect of this second in of support.
                                         
                                        It's rediscovering that I'm not actually totally independent, isolated.
                                         
                                        You can't be.
                                         
    
                                        You know, we're made of this planet.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        You know, this table in front of us is made of wood.
                                         
                                        Someone would have had to chop the wood.
                                         
                                        were down, carve it, varnish it, put it here in front of us so that we can now have this
                                         
                                        conversation. Exactly. And they themselves had to eat. And that came from the wheat fields and
                                         
                                        the, you know, and the fruit and the vegetables. Can we think of support also in terms of our
                                         
                                        ancestors? 100%. I write about that in the book. You know, what we are has come down from
                                         
    
                                        these millions of generations of living beings, of different kinds. Yeah, it's kind of interesting.
                                         
                                        one of the things I've been talking about
                                         
                                        in my sort of recent live shows
                                         
                                        is about my relationship with my dad
                                         
                                        and dad's life a little bit
                                         
                                        and what's happened since my dad died
                                         
                                        and how
                                         
                                        although it was over 12 years ago now
                                         
    
                                        I think about my dad probably now more than ever
                                         
                                        and I still feel that he's here
                                         
                                        And actually, I now see my dad's death as a gift to me, in the sense that the things that I've
                                         
                                        learned through my dad's death, I don't think I would have learned if my dad was still alive.
                                         
                                        And again, just to be clear, I'm not expecting anyone else to reframe their parents' death
                                         
                                        in that way. I certainly wasn't doing that in the first year or two after dad died. But now I'm
                                         
                                        choosing to look at that through this lens. And I kind of feel it speaks to the second inner
                                         
                                        support because, you know, and I can bring my mom into this as well, I guess, but I'm only here
                                         
    
                                        because of what my parents have done and the sacrifices they made and the things that they did
                                         
                                        for me to enable me to do what I do today. Yes. I remember at my dad's funeral,
                                         
                                        after the cremation, there was a religious ceremony. It was conductive.
                                         
                                        by a Hindu priest, and a big part of it is acknowledging your ancestors and praying to ancestors.
                                         
                                        I don't think I quite realize the importance of that until quite recently,
                                         
                                        but I think it speaks to support this idea that, you know, we're not just here in isolation
                                         
                                        by ourselves. There's so many different things that are necessary in order for us to be here.
                                         
                                        I kind of feel a lot of people come to meditation
                                         
    
                                        because they want to help with their depression
                                         
                                        or their anxiety, right?
                                         
                                        But one thing I've noticed in my clinical career, Henry,
                                         
                                        is that many people, let's say, with depression
                                         
                                        or with a diagnosis of depression, are very isolated, right?
                                         
                                        They're living for a variety of reasons
                                         
                                        in a very me world.
                                         
                                        And if you can help people get out of that eye world
                                         
    
                                        and me world and volunteer,
                                         
                                        and connect with others
                                         
                                        and feel that actually
                                         
                                        you're part of this kind of rich tapestry
                                         
                                        of human experience,
                                         
                                        everything starts to change.
                                         
                                        Yes, it 100% does, exactly.
                                         
                                        I think, and I think the point about ancestors
                                         
    
                                        is absolutely right,
                                         
                                        that we're not, it's not just sort of horizontal
                                         
                                        our connectedness in the world.
                                         
                                        It's vertical, it's across time.
                                         
                                        And to feel, you know, I have this,
                                         
                                        I've sometimes on meditation retreats,
                                         
                                        I felt like I've seen many, many ancestors, you know, standing behind me.
                                         
                                        And their lives are what have enabled me to have this life and this very moment.
                                         
    
                                        And my mother and my father, without them, I wouldn't be here.
                                         
                                        And to feel that, just as you say, it brings on a kind of humility that is sweet, you know,
                                         
                                        and can make us grateful for every moment.
                                         
                                        And I totally agree with you about the isolation that is a very common thing these days actually
                                         
                                        and how to cut through it.
                                         
                                        And again, it's like this support, this inner support is a sort of corrective for the mindfulness.
                                         
                                        I've got to do, I've heard that mindfulness can help with depression.
                                         
                                        Indeed it can.
                                         
    
                                        and you know but with with caution and with careful use and guidance of mindfulness with depression
                                         
                                        but not to the exclusion of being open to others yeah you know and how do I what is the vulnerability
                                         
                                        I need to feel in order to be able to open to others and what's the vulnerability I need to
                                         
                                        feel in order to say I need help you know that's that's very scary
                                         
                                        for a lot of us please help me reaching out you know many of us don't really want to do that we've been
                                         
                                        ingrained in this culture of i've got to manage and cope myself and there's a resistance we have
                                         
                                        i think i'm speaking for myself i had a lot of resistance to being able to reach out and ask for
                                         
                                        help when i most needed it why
                                         
    
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                                        I think in my case there was a lot of shame. I grew up with a lot of shame about the way I looked
                                         
                                        with my skin condition. People don't want to hear from me. You know, it's kind of the mindset I had.
                                         
                                        and it was and depression brings shame i was depressed when i was a young man as well as anxious
                                         
                                        you know depression brings shame stigma i i felt so bad that my mental health wasn't good
                                         
                                        you know it's not only did i have you know feeling really feeling bad bad not not good i was
                                         
                                        ashamed of feeling bad and um you thought you should be able to
                                         
    
                                        to feel good. Yeah, it was a sign of my total incompetence as a human being and my failure as a human
                                         
                                        being that I wasn't feeling good. I wasn't feeling alive. I knew I could and I wasn't. I was
                                         
                                        feeling down and unmotivated and, you know, I was kind of going through the motions of a postgraduate degree
                                         
                                        actually at the time. But I wasn't, my heart wasn't in it and I felt bad about that. And, and
                                         
                                        I didn't in some way I felt unworthy you know not good enough and so again it was when I started to meditate
                                         
                                        that I just began to find little cracks in that mindset starting to happen little here and their
                                         
                                        little ray of light would come in just for a moment the little cracks in the story the story you're
                                         
                                        telling yourself that you believe to be real it's like we're saying
                                         
    
                                        said before about when you're in chronic pain, you're not in chronic pain 100% at the time.
                                         
                                        Exactly. And as soon as you understand that and see, oh, I wasn't in pain there. It wasn't
                                         
                                        a pain there. It starts to break through the cracks, right? In probably a very similar way.
                                         
                                        Exactly. Exactly. The light just a little bit started to come in and I could reach out for help
                                         
                                        and it and it was what I needed to do. And, you know, so I mean, personally, my journey's been
                                         
                                        very much about
                                         
                                        I sort of do my part
                                         
                                        and for the keystone habit
                                         
    
                                        my life has been meditation
                                         
                                        but I also
                                         
                                        learned to reach out
                                         
                                        especially when I
                                         
                                        least want to
                                         
                                        you know
                                         
                                        how much do you meditate
                                         
                                        these days
                                         
    
                                        well I it's daily
                                         
                                        you know and it's
                                         
                                        it varies sometimes
                                         
                                        you know if
                                         
                                        if I'm on retreat, it's quite a lot. I don't want to scare anybody. You don't have to do 10 hours
                                         
                                        a day, but I have done 10 hours a day at times for quite a lot at certain times in my life.
                                         
                                        But my average is about an hour a day. In one go?
                                         
                                        Might be, or it might be half an hour in the morning, half an hour later on.
                                         
    
                                        So you're quite fluid and flexible, but you will do it.
                                         
                                        Yeah, I'll always do it.
                                         
                                        And what about something I wanted to ask you about? We'll get back to the internet.
                                         
                                        cover the first two mindfulness and support. And, you know, there's plenty more in original love
                                         
                                        about those two ends, right? We're just covering the surface here. But one of the things I think
                                         
                                        people struggle with these days, they're kind of stuck in a loop where they're stressed out,
                                         
                                        they're busy, they've got too many things to do, they don't feel they've got time to meditate,
                                         
                                        they hear about the importance of sleep, right? And therefore, it's like, yeah, hold on a minute,
                                         
    
                                        but how am I going to fit this in to an already busy life?
                                         
                                        Okay.
                                         
                                        And I was thinking about this idea that if you,
                                         
                                        I think it was when I spoke to Sudkuru
                                         
                                        on this podcast a few years ago,
                                         
                                        the Indian mystic.
                                         
                                        The amazing guy, yeah.
                                         
                                        I think he was talking about this idea,
                                         
    
                                        well, if you're not creating a load of stress anyway,
                                         
                                        you need less sleep, right?
                                         
                                        So if you're living a calm existence,
                                         
                                        there's less to recover from,
                                         
                                        when you sleep, right?
                                         
                                        So I was thinking, well, hold on a minute.
                                         
                                        Maybe if we all meditated more and were less stressed and calmer,
                                         
                                        well, maybe a lot of us would get by with six hours of sleep at nights.
                                         
    
                                        Maybe we can't look at how much sleep we need
                                         
                                        without looking at the context of our entire life.
                                         
                                        So do you feel sometimes that if you meditate regularly,
                                         
                                        you perhaps can get away with less sleep.
                                         
                                        I do believe it can be a deep form of rest.
                                         
                                        They talk about non-sleep, deep rest, N-SDR.
                                         
                                        And meditation definitely is one way that we can bring on that deep rest.
                                         
                                        And in some meditation traditions, they would claim that in meditation it's a deeper rest.
                                         
    
                                        Yeah, I've seen that.
                                         
                                        More ristocito than sleep.
                                         
                                        And so, yeah, there's some schools that say, hey, if you're doing,
                                         
                                        In TM, for example, Transcendental Meditation,
                                         
                                        which is a popular form years back,
                                         
                                        and is what I did at first,
                                         
                                        they'll say, if you're doing your daily dose,
                                         
                                        20 minutes twice a day, you need less sleep.
                                         
    
                                        And I think it's true once you've paid off a sleep debt,
                                         
                                        and if you've got a sleep debt, you'll need, you'll know,
                                         
                                        because it'll show up as fatigue,
                                         
                                        and then you've got to pay it off with rest.
                                         
                                        But once we're in a steady habit with meditating,
                                         
                                        I do think it's actually true that we need a bit less sleep.
                                         
                                        Certainly if we're, I mean, people on an intensive meditation retreat
                                         
                                        where you are meditating, let's say, 10 hours a day, you need much less sleep.
                                         
    
                                        And we're actually creeping into the third in.
                                         
                                        Let's do that. Let's creep in.
                                         
                                        So the third in is flow in meditation or samadhi is called or absorption.
                                         
                                        It's where we get into these beautiful,
                                         
                                        beautiful states of mind. And they call it, the traditional name is samadhi in the meditation world.
                                         
                                        Sanskrit word? Yes. And it's something about everything held together, everything unified.
                                         
                                        It's very, and it's energized and it's peaceful and it's calm and it's clear and it's effortless.
                                         
                                        The most common way people find it is in activities, actually, because it's not exclusive to meditation this.
                                         
    
                                        is this flow states have been really thoroughly researched
                                         
                                        since there was a guy called Chixat Mihai
                                         
                                        back in the 70s and 80s
                                         
                                        who began pioneering research on flow states
                                         
                                        and you know people, athletes will get into it, musicians,
                                         
                                        actually anybody will get into flow now and then
                                         
                                        while engaged in some kind of activity
                                         
                                        and it can be from a very challenging activity
                                         
    
                                        like you know basketball or you know or getting in the
                                         
                                        zone, painting or something, you know, an artist or a musician.
                                         
                                        But it can also be just simple repetitive tasks, we'll get into a flow state.
                                         
                                        Is that different from getting into a flow state whilst meditating?
                                         
                                        Because, you know, the things you mentioned are about doing something, right?
                                         
                                        And we spoke about doing already.
                                         
                                        So we're, you know, yeah, surfing, mountain biking, playing guitar.
                                         
                                        you know, painting, right?
                                         
    
                                        So we're doing an activity where we switch off.
                                         
                                        Well, it feels as though, you know, time stands still.
                                         
                                        We're fully immersed.
                                         
                                        Body and mind, there's no separation.
                                         
                                        That feels as so it's different, though,
                                         
                                        from reaching that state by just sitting there.
                                         
                                        Or is it different?
                                         
                                        Well, it's a great question.
                                         
    
                                        And I've wondered about this a lot.
                                         
                                        when flow comes on in an activity
                                         
                                        because it becomes effortless
                                         
                                        and time stands still
                                         
                                        exactly as he said
                                         
                                        and there's much less sense of self
                                         
                                        you know we're not so self-conscious
                                         
                                        it's it's almost like
                                         
    
                                        we're not doing for some other purpose
                                         
                                        we're just doing the thing we're doing
                                         
                                        and that's enough it's for its own
                                         
                                        we're doing it for the sake of doing it
                                         
                                        you know and it's fulfilling so in meditation just transferring all of that to meditation the great
                                         
                                        difference is that we're not doing an outward activity that is the big difference in meditation so
                                         
                                        we're getting into similar states with our own being with our own being you know and and and it's
                                         
                                        it's where meditation really is starting to kick in and show us what it's been about all along
                                         
    
                                        which is not for other purposes
                                         
                                        just for its own sake
                                         
                                        we're doing it without a kind of ulterior motive
                                         
                                        you know and and but it is similar
                                         
                                        to flow in other in other areas
                                         
                                        because it's got the same sort of characteristics
                                         
                                        it's effortless I would say for me
                                         
                                        if I think about my own experience
                                         
    
                                        I can experience
                                         
                                        you know traditional flow as Mahali
                                         
                                        sent me high would would describe it
                                         
                                        in all kinds of activities.
                                         
                                        If I'm playing my guitar and I've got an idea for a new song
                                         
                                        and I'm sort of lost in that,
                                         
                                        I could be there for 90 minutes.
                                         
                                        And I'm like, oh, wow, you know, I didn't realize.
                                         
    
                                        You know, it was wonderful.
                                         
                                        But I feel when I get it
                                         
                                        or when I have experienced it in meditation,
                                         
                                        it feels quite different.
                                         
                                        And I imagine they're both things that we want, ideally.
                                         
                                        I think about life a lot through the lens of dependencies.
                                         
                                        How dependent am I on externalities in order to feel a certain way, right?
                                         
                                        The words of other people, acquiring things, the weather to be right, whatever it might be.
                                         
    
                                        And I used to be very dependent.
                                         
                                        I would say these days, not so much.
                                         
                                        But you can almost argue that flow from an external source also has a dependency attached to it.
                                         
                                        I need to be playing my guitar in order to get the flow.
                                         
                                        I need to be on my mountain bike in order to access that flow,
                                         
                                        which is all fine, right?
                                         
                                        Nothing wrong with that at all.
                                         
                                        But it feels really quite empowering to know that,
                                         
    
                                        yeah, but I can also do that with nothing.
                                         
                                        That's exactly right.
                                         
                                        I find it just amazing how fulfilled we can be
                                         
                                        by not doing anything, by just sitting still.
                                         
                                        That's the beauty of the flow in meditation
                                         
                                        is that we're finding that instead of needing stuff,
                                         
                                        needing anything external,
                                         
                                        just in our own being,
                                         
    
                                        we can be completely fulfilled at peace,
                                         
                                        alive, energized, clear, calm,
                                         
                                        but not docile.
                                         
                                        We're sort of really awake
                                         
                                        and totally fulfilled
                                         
                                        without anything
                                         
                                        I find that
                                         
                                        just so beautiful
                                         
    
                                        yeah
                                         
                                        in that section
                                         
                                        you write
                                         
                                        we never knew
                                         
                                        we needed so little
                                         
                                        to be happy
                                         
                                        exactly
                                         
                                        beautiful
                                         
    
                                        because again
                                         
                                        going back to cultural conditioning
                                         
                                        that is not what most people believe
                                         
                                        they believe they need things
                                         
                                        yeah right
                                         
                                        they need a certain
                                         
                                        job title
                                         
                                        a certain office
                                         
    
                                        a certain salary.
                                         
                                        And listen, I'm saying this with compassion and sensitivity
                                         
                                        because I understand that there are people
                                         
                                        who are struggling to buy food to feed themselves, okay?
                                         
                                        So that I also recognize at the same time.
                                         
                                        But I think for many people, let's say you've got enough
                                         
                                        to feed yourself and pay your mortgage
                                         
                                        and whatever that number is.
                                         
    
                                        I think a lot of people still think that happiness comes
                                         
                                        from something outside of themselves
                                         
                                        whereas this state of absorption
                                         
                                        or samadhi or flow,
                                         
                                        I guess it teaches us that
                                         
                                        the happiness is already there.
                                         
                                        It's inside of us.
                                         
                                        Exactly.
                                         
    
                                        I was really lucky.
                                         
                                        When I was 12 years old,
                                         
                                        I met this tramp,
                                         
                                        an old kind of hobo type of person.
                                         
                                        He used to come through the valley
                                         
                                        where we lived in north of Oxford.
                                         
                                        And he was so different
                                         
                                        from everybody else I know.
                                         
    
                                        No, I knew.
                                         
                                        My parents were both professors at Oxford,
                                         
                                        and I grew up in that very rational, privileged middle-class world.
                                         
                                        And this guy, he was called Speedy,
                                         
                                        he'd wander into our valley every spring
                                         
                                        and put up in this ruined mill
                                         
                                        about a mile away from where our house was.
                                         
                                        And I got to know him.
                                         
    
                                        And he basically, he pretty much had nothing.
                                         
                                        He had two dogs, fishing lines, no rod, you know,
                                         
                                        and he lived off fishing and setting traps for rabbits
                                         
                                        and he'd go door to door when he needed to.
                                         
                                        And but he used to, he said,
                                         
                                        he taught me a lot actually.
                                         
                                        It was over several summers I got to know him.
                                         
                                        But he would sit every day.
                                         
    
                                        He said he called it stopping still.
                                         
                                        And he would just sit, you know, in the woods somewhere.
                                         
                                        He'd just sit and be still.
                                         
                                        And he said, you know, people are running around like chickens with
                                         
                                        their heads cut off. They don't realize. They don't learn what they would learn if they just
                                         
                                        sat still. And I, I, some of that somehow landed in me that he was a person who was at home
                                         
                                        everywhere. He lived in the countryside. He didn't live in a house, but he had so little. And he
                                         
                                        was alive in a way that was unlike anybody else I knew. He was really alive. Yeah, I love
                                         
    
                                        hearing things like this, right? Because whenever you talk about things like this, there's often,
                                         
                                        there's often the socioeconomic arguments, right? And, you know, that, and yeah, if you look at
                                         
                                        the data, for sure, you know, people in certain areas of the UK, you know, your life expectancy,
                                         
                                        for example, can be up to 10 years different if you're living in an area of low socioeconomic status
                                         
                                        compared to high. Right? So this stuff is real for sure. But when we think about happiness,
                                         
                                        and well-being, there is still a view that your financials hugely matter.
                                         
                                        And I'm not saying they don't matter, right?
                                         
                                        Just to be clear.
                                         
    
                                        But I've also had the experience of every other summer as a child,
                                         
                                        we would go to India to Kolkata for six weeks, right?
                                         
                                        I have seen and been with people and chat to them in India with very little
                                         
                                        who seem to have a joyful essence, who are happy.
                                         
                                        They sort of seem to get life.
                                         
                                        And I find that really inspiring to go, well, hold on a minute.
                                         
                                        We've, again, been culturally conditioned to think that we're going to get happiness when.
                                         
                                        When this happens, when we get the A levels, and we get the job, when we get the promotion.
                                         
    
                                        Oh, when that happens, we get this amount of followers or this amount of downloads.
                                         
                                        Oh, yeah, there it is.
                                         
                                        It's like, well, hold on a minute, some people I've spoken to in India, they don't have those things.
                                         
                                        Yet I would argue some of them are happier than most of us are.
                                         
                                        Yes.
                                         
                                        Right?
                                         
                                        They've found the unconditional well-being.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
    
                                        And that is the key.
                                         
                                        That's what meditation is actually really for.
                                         
                                        So thank you for bringing that up.
                                         
                                        And I totally agree with you also not to discount the difficulties of being undernesty.
                                         
                                        a certain poverty line you know it's incredibly hard and we're not discounting that but
                                         
                                        what if there's a well-being that we're missing in our pursuit of conditions material conditions
                                         
                                        that we think we need all kinds of conditions that we think we need what if there's actually
                                         
                                        an unconditional as well you know unconditional okayness and that's that's that's
                                         
    
                                        That's the inspiration that I find in, you know,
                                         
                                        what traditionally thought of as a spiritual life.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        Is that it's not based on the conditions of our lives.
                                         
                                        There's so much I want to go deeper into that.
                                         
                                        Before I do, let me just put my head into the mind of some of the listeners
                                         
                                        who might be thinking, this is all great, right?
                                         
                                        But how the hell do I get there?
                                         
    
                                        I think, you know, I've covered mindfulness on the show before.
                                         
                                        You have your own unique way of describing it, to be fair, an original love.
                                         
                                        But I think, you know, there may be an understanding of the importance of mindfulness,
                                         
                                        the importance of support, the first two ends.
                                         
                                        But this kind of flow state that we can experience in meditation,
                                         
                                        if someone has never experienced that before, and I'm thinking, yeah, that sounds great.
                                         
                                        I want some of it, how do they get it?
                                         
                                        Yeah, well, you know, I'd have to say,
                                         
    
                                        just keep doing your meditation, and it starts to come on.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        You know, and, you know, our app is actually trying to help people find that.
                                         
                                        You know, it's very much trust the process, right?
                                         
                                        It is.
                                         
                                        It shows up for the daily meditation,
                                         
                                        and you will find at some point that these states,
                                         
                                        start to appear.
                                         
    
                                        Yeah, exactly.
                                         
                                        And it's sort of like,
                                         
                                        I would say to somebody
                                         
                                        who's not quite sure what we're talking about,
                                         
                                        I would say,
                                         
                                        think of a time
                                         
                                        when suddenly you just felt really good
                                         
                                        and there was a shift
                                         
    
                                        and you don't know why it happened.
                                         
                                        But it wasn't to do with accomplishment
                                         
                                        or it wasn't to do with something
                                         
                                        you were actively doing.
                                         
                                        It just sort of came on by itself.
                                         
                                        And you felt sort of,
                                         
                                        somehow life was smooth and easy and rich and fulfilling and time didn't seem to matter so much.
                                         
                                        If you think of something like those little magical moments that I think everybody will have had some taste of,
                                         
    
                                        even if it was only in childhood, some sense of a kind of spell fell on you and everything seemed okay.
                                         
                                        That's what this is like.
                                         
                                        And the activity of non-activity,
                                         
                                        the time set aside for meditation of just not doing
                                         
                                        will attract that.
                                         
                                        It's almost more like a magnet.
                                         
                                        We're not trying to grab it.
                                         
                                        We're just by virtue of making space
                                         
    
                                        for just being in our lives.
                                         
                                        We attract it.
                                         
                                        It just comes on.
                                         
                                        unpredictably by itself at times.
                                         
                                        And so it's a fairly, I want to say,
                                         
                                        you know, we can just about promise it.
                                         
                                        We can just about promise it
                                         
                                        that if you do keep doing this thing regularly, consistently,
                                         
    
                                        you'll start to get a taste of it.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        And one of the things I believe happens with people
                                         
                                        is that because they're so busy doing all the time,
                                         
                                        and not tending to their internal world,
                                         
                                        if they ever stop doing,
                                         
                                        all the stuff that they haven't processed
                                         
                                        starts to come out.
                                         
    
                                        So, because I'm scared of that,
                                         
                                        they just shut it down and stay busy again.
                                         
                                        No, no, no, no.
                                         
                                        Do the practice.
                                         
                                        Meditate daily.
                                         
                                        Let it all come up.
                                         
                                        Let it all come up.
                                         
                                        And maybe once you've almost burnt it out,
                                         
    
                                        you'll experience the calm and presence
                                         
                                        that was sitting there all along.
                                         
                                        Yeah, I believe that's a great way to look at it.
                                         
                                        And then if you're doing,
                                         
                                        doing it regularly, you're processing the daily stuff that's come up, so you're sort of keeping
                                         
                                        ahead of it. I think that's why the consistency is so important. But I think that's exactly
                                         
                                        how we are. If you've done, let's say you've been for a long drive, you know, and you put your
                                         
                                        head on the pillow at night, close your eyes, you see how you see the road. Yeah. You know, it's
                                         
    
                                        sort of like that. We're busy in our days. It's a course when we stop, we're processing what
                                         
                                        we've been doing you know and when people come to a retreat you go to a retreat first day
                                         
                                        you're dealing with your life it's recent life and then sometimes old life stuff comes up as well
                                         
                                        but you're letting actually so healthy you're just being and you're letting this stuff on you're
                                         
                                        kind of letting your mind digest your life and it's all this stuff comes up and you just let it
                                         
                                        move on and that's that's how we settle down that's what settling down actually means for me
                                         
                                        It's letting all the stuff that's been going on in my life just process itself and release, you know.
                                         
                                        Then we find this deeper layers of calm and clarity and fulfillment.
                                         
    
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        There's so much more about absorption I want to talk to you about, Cohen's and the importance of beauty.
                                         
                                        Maybe I'll just park those for a moment because I want to make sure we have time for the fourth inning, awakening.
                                         
                                        And what's really interesting to me, and I know you talk about it, you write about this in the book, is that these first three innings, mindfulness, support and absorption, are still all done under the realm where we still have a self, right? And I guess, you know, for people who need some meditation, maybe just start there, right? Maybe you don't need to come to this point, right? But this is what I have.
                                         
                                        really, really interesting.
                                         
                                        So I want to go in here if that's okay
                                         
                                        and say in-four.
                                         
                                        This idea where the first three are great,
                                         
    
                                        but there's still this idea that we have an identity
                                         
                                        that is a self.
                                         
                                        Whereas an in-four,
                                         
                                        there's a loss of self, isn't there?
                                         
                                        So I don't know how you want to tackle this,
                                         
                                        but can you explain to us
                                         
                                        what is this fourth in of awakening?
                                         
                                        It's a difficult thing to talk about, actually,
                                         
    
                                        because it's a discovery that we can each make about who we really are,
                                         
                                        who we've been all along.
                                         
                                        And it may sound weird, it may not make a lot of sense to hear about it.
                                         
                                        And on the other hand, there may be people who hear about it and think,
                                         
                                        oh my gosh, that's what that was.
                                         
                                        Some moment I had as a kid that I've never forgotten.
                                         
                                        It's a moment I had as a youth that I've never forgotten
                                         
                                        when it was as if I discovered that I wasn't separate from the world I live in
                                         
    
                                        that my sense of being me contained within my skin
                                         
                                        that I inhabit this body that I think of as mine
                                         
                                        and what I am is something within this body,
                                         
                                        some little core nugget or core that's me.
                                         
                                        that I know so well
                                         
                                        I've been with it as long as I can remember
                                         
                                        but suddenly it was as if
                                         
                                        that wasn't there, that wasn't here
                                         
    
                                        and instead
                                         
                                        I was part of everything
                                         
                                        it's a sudden
                                         
                                        glimpse of a different
                                         
                                        way of experiencing
                                         
                                        ourselves in this world
                                         
                                        I don't think I've ever covered
                                         
                                        non-duality on the podcast
                                         
    
                                        to date.
                                         
                                        So perhaps
                                         
                                        the best way to start
                                         
                                        of this is with you describing
                                         
                                        what happened to you
                                         
                                        when you were backpacking at 19.
                                         
                                        I don't know, what do you think?
                                         
                                        Yeah, I think so too.
                                         
    
                                        I think it's probably easier to get it
                                         
                                        if I try to describe it.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        So I, you know, as I said,
                                         
                                        I'd grown up in Oxford
                                         
                                        and had this terrible eczema.
                                         
                                        I went away when I was 1819
                                         
                                        on a gap year
                                         
    
                                        and I worked,
                                         
                                        actually in South America,
                                         
                                        worked on a ranch for several months.
                                         
                                        That was through my dad, somebody in his college, was from Argentina, and I worked there,
                                         
                                        and then I backpacked.
                                         
                                        And towards the end of the trip, I was alone on a beach, and I was, it really was an empty,
                                         
                                        deserted beach, and I was just looking at the sun going down over the water.
                                         
                                        It was incredibly beautiful, you know, and I was studying the water and the light on the water,
                                         
    
                                        and I was just standing there very absorbed.
                                         
                                        in this beautiful scene with nobody around.
                                         
                                        Real profound solitude.
                                         
                                        It was just so beautiful.
                                         
                                        And suddenly it was as if I wasn't looking at the scene in front of me.
                                         
                                        I was part of it.
                                         
                                        It was as if the me that could look at the world
                                         
                                        and see it as separate just.
                                         
    
                                        switched off and somehow I discovered it felt like a discovery that I had always been part of
                                         
                                        everything I wasn't a separate observer the sense of being the separate me who is moving
                                         
                                        through the world as a separate entity that separateness just switch
                                         
                                        off and in its place was a sense of total belonging just being part of everything without exception
                                         
                                        and it felt like in a certain way really it felt like I was part of the whole universe
                                         
                                        and I'd never not been and it wasn't an idea it was a it was a palpable
                                         
                                        sensation. It was as if I could, it really felt for a moment as if my, my fingertips were
                                         
                                        reached to the end of the universe. The tip of my nose was pressing against the beginning of time
                                         
    
                                        and the end of time. It was as if what I really was and always had been was
                                         
                                        part of everything.
                                         
                                        Is the term
                                         
                                        outer body experience
                                         
                                        relevant here
                                         
                                        or is it almost too
                                         
                                        reductionist?
                                         
                                        Yeah, I mean,
                                         
    
                                        to me,
                                         
                                        out of body suggests
                                         
                                        that, you know,
                                         
                                        when people describe
                                         
                                        NDE's,
                                         
                                        where they're sort of
                                         
                                        up, looking down,
                                         
                                        they could see their body,
                                         
    
                                        I think it was
                                         
                                        totally different actually
                                         
                                        because it wasn't
                                         
                                        that
                                         
                                        here's my body,
                                         
                                        I've left it.
                                         
                                        It was that
                                         
                                        here's my body,
                                         
    
                                        body it's everything or that my true body is everything that's that's what it felt like but the the
                                         
                                        the me that the inner body it didn't feel like mine in the way that I normally knew the sense of
                                         
                                        me that felt like what I really was was everything part of everything and it was very I mean to
                                         
                                        say, like, I was huge
                                         
                                        or something. No, it wasn't, it wasn't
                                         
                                        sort of...
                                         
                                        Was it almost like you just blended in with
                                         
                                        everything? You were just...
                                         
    
                                        Yes, it's more like that.
                                         
                                        It's more like... It's more like
                                         
                                        the boundary
                                         
                                        between me
                                         
                                        and the world
                                         
                                        was gone.
                                         
                                        These non-dual experiences, okay?
                                         
                                        Our words inherently
                                         
    
                                        limiting in our
                                         
                                        attempt to describe it.
                                         
                                        Yes, it's an unfortunate thing.
                                         
                                        It can't do it.
                                         
                                        Because some people, they're just to sort of play,
                                         
                                        not devil's advocate, really, but for,
                                         
                                        I guess there'll be some people listening, Henry,
                                         
                                        who are on board with the benefits of meditation
                                         
    
                                        and totally get those first three ends
                                         
                                        because, of course, they're all predicated on this assumption
                                         
                                        that there is a self, right?
                                         
                                        So how do I improve the self?
                                         
                                        How do improve myself?
                                         
                                        Yeah, I get better at mindfulness and noticing my experiences and my feelings and my minds.
                                         
                                        I make sure I reach out for support that it's not just me.
                                         
                                        Like everything I do is dependent on other people and other things.
                                         
    
                                        And then can I reach flow states?
                                         
                                        Yeah, I can reach flow state and my favorite passion.
                                         
                                        But yeah, I can also perhaps if I meditate enough without expectation and I follow the process.
                                         
                                        maybe at some point I'll start to experience this intrinsic flow state
                                         
                                        that doesn't need me to be doing anything.
                                         
                                        I reckon, for those interests in meditation,
                                         
                                        they're naturally going to be on board with that.
                                         
                                        Right.
                                         
    
                                        I think now going into the fourth end,
                                         
                                        awakening, now I'm on board, to be clear.
                                         
                                        I'm trying to put myself in the mind as someone who's going,
                                         
                                        hold in a minute.
                                         
                                        I get the first three.
                                         
                                        I'm interested in those three
                                         
                                        what the hell is this
                                         
                                        that you're talking about, about awakening,
                                         
    
                                        that there's no boundary to my skin,
                                         
                                        that I'm part of everything.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        And you must get this a lot, right?
                                         
                                        I do, I do, I do.
                                         
                                        I mean, I'm very, I feel,
                                         
                                        I feel the problem here is,
                                         
                                        is very real.
                                         
    
                                        That it doesn't make,
                                         
                                        it only makes sense
                                         
                                        once we've had a glimpse of it.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        It's difficult to make it make sense
                                         
                                        through cognitively
                                         
                                        just thinking about it.
                                         
                                        it and conceptually. But there's a few ways we can we can try a little bit conceptually.
                                         
    
                                        One is, I mean, just right now, you know, being aware that, you know, wherever you happen to
                                         
                                        be, you know, we two were sitting in this room with seeing one another, there's the walls,
                                         
                                        there's, you know, lights, a mic stand, the, this beautiful, very beautiful, actually,
                                         
                                        table between us. All of this is arising for each of us in a, you know, a lot of us in a
                                         
                                        awareness right all of it is contents in an awareness that maybe that can that makes a kind of sense right
                                         
                                        you know so so so what is that awareness and how big is that awareness and where does it end
                                         
                                        where does it begin the awareness is actually really hard to put dimensions on the awareness
                                         
                                        itself, we can put dimensions on the wall, on the space between us, but the awareness itself
                                         
    
                                        within which this whole experience of this room and this conversation within which it's arising,
                                         
                                        the awareness that's hosting this, it's impossible to know how big it is. It's impossible to know
                                         
                                        where it begins and ends. Is this, you know, put through another lens, you know, who is the seer
                                         
                                        who is the person that's experiencing the table?
                                         
                                        Like, you know, when you get that separation and meditation, you know,
                                         
                                        and let's say you're feeling anxious, okay,
                                         
                                        and you think the entirety of you is anxiety.
                                         
                                        But a meditation or some practice where you just separate and go,
                                         
    
                                        no, no, but who is it that's experiencing the anxiety?
                                         
                                        Yes, yes.
                                         
                                        You just start to open up a crack of separation.
                                         
                                        Yes.
                                         
                                        Something I think about a lot is, well, I don't know how old I was, how many days old I was when my parents gave me the name Rongan.
                                         
                                        I can't remember.
                                         
                                        I know, you know, for example, in some Indian cultures, there's a naming ceremony at day six, right?
                                         
                                        So day six is when you're given your name officially, right?
                                         
    
                                        Yes, yes.
                                         
                                        So then if you just play this out, let's say I was given the name Rangen at day six from my birth.
                                         
                                        Well, who the hell was I for the first six days?
                                         
                                        Right? Because I wasn't Rangen then.
                                         
                                        Because I hadn't been given that name.
                                         
                                        So there was an awareness.
                                         
                                        Yes.
                                         
                                        There was an essence of who I was that existed before I was called Rangen.
                                         
    
                                        Exactly.
                                         
                                        Is this in the same realm as non-duality?
                                         
                                        Or is this something completely different?
                                         
                                        No, it is.
                                         
                                        it is i mean and whoever that was those first five days yeah what's happened to him is he still here
                                         
                                        if it's he even is that not still here somehow you know is there like if i if you think back to
                                         
                                        a childhood experience being on the beach age seven or something you know the water the sounds the
                                         
                                        smells, sun lotion, sand, you know.
                                         
    
                                        What was, is there something that was there then, which is here right now?
                                         
                                        Is there some sort of essence of you, of awareness, of beingness, of aliveness,
                                         
                                        that was absolutely present then and is exactly present also now?
                                         
                                        isn't there something
                                         
                                        you know that
                                         
                                        who you were before you had a name
                                         
                                        is still here now
                                         
                                        and what is that
                                         
    
                                        is it possible
                                         
                                        that it just doesn't
                                         
                                        do time
                                         
                                        and it doesn't even do space
                                         
                                        it's without dimension
                                         
                                        it's without time
                                         
                                        isn't it possible
                                         
                                        that there's something
                                         
    
                                        already always
                                         
                                        here. Yeah. Of course.
                                         
                                        Right. Okay. So that's coming
                                         
                                        what we mean by this
                                         
                                        exactly is a very dry term, non-duality. It doesn't
                                         
                                        convey how heartwarming and beautiful
                                         
                                        and intimate and close this actually. Where did that term come from?
                                         
                                        Non-duality. Well, I think actually, I think it might be
                                         
    
                                        India because there's the term ad-viter.
                                         
                                        Right. Non-2, non-dual, adviter.
                                         
                                        Wow.
                                         
                                        You know, and so there's Advaita Vedanta is an ancient Hindu school of practice around this.
                                         
                                        And that's what, when, like the word Buddhism actually means awakeningism.
                                         
                                        The word Buddha means awakened.
                                         
                                        And it's the heart of what some say Buddhism is really about.
                                         
                                        Buddhism is not, some would say it's not really a religion, it's a practice.
                                         
    
                                        But the heart of the term Buddha awakened or awakening,
                                         
                                        is to wake up to, I'd say, wake back up to reality.
                                         
                                        To reality that's been here all along.
                                         
                                        Would you say that people who have experienced this non-dual state?
                                         
                                        And what was really interesting about your experience at 19
                                         
                                        is that you weren't a meditator then.
                                         
                                        You weren't trying to attain in number four on the path up the mountain.
                                         
                                        You'd rest on your gap here, having fun, traveling, backpacking around,
                                         
    
                                        watching the sunset and then boom, you've experienced something, right?
                                         
                                        Yes, yes.
                                         
                                        Which I think is also quite interesting because you, on your app and in your book,
                                         
                                        offer a path that we can follow.
                                         
                                        Yes.
                                         
                                        And if we follow that path at some point, we may get an awakening,
                                         
                                        we may be more open to seeing an awakening.
                                         
                                        Yes.
                                         
    
                                        But you've got one without doing any of them.
                                         
                                        Well, I know.
                                         
                                        But I then found, and then I was really unhappy afterwards.
                                         
                                        Like a few weeks later, I went back home.
                                         
                                        Because you didn't understand it.
                                         
                                        I didn't understand it.
                                         
                                        And also, when I went home, I was open for the first time in my life, wide open.
                                         
                                        And all the difficulty, challenges, unhappiness in my childhood, I couldn't help but feel them.
                                         
    
                                        In my childhood, I'd done my best not to feel the challenges of my childhood because I felt they were overwhelming.
                                         
                                        So it almost cracked you open.
                                         
                                        It cracked me open.
                                         
                                        So when I went home, I was swamped by...
                                         
                                        childhood unhappiness that i'd never really let myself feel before and you need a therapy didn't you
                                         
                                        i did or you i should say you need it you you you saw therapists who helped you yeah but later i mean
                                         
                                        i struggled for several years and then i started meditating and and then i found a therapist and i was
                                         
                                        very very lucky to be able to do that but but the the point just to just coming back to um the it's unconditional
                                         
    
                                        that awakening you can't you can't create it through conditions but you can make it more likely
                                         
                                        and and so any path of meditation that knows about that and acknowledges it and is open to it can create
                                         
                                        the condition where it's more likely to happen but it can't make it happen but but at the same time
                                         
                                        that's that the beauty of it is it's kind of a law unto itself it doesn't like in my case
                                         
                                        as you said I wasn't practicing
                                         
                                        but it showed itself
                                         
                                        but only when
                                         
                                        I started to practice
                                         
    
                                        was there any chance of learning
                                         
                                        to integrate it
                                         
                                        into how I live
                                         
                                        so it wasn't a flash in the pan
                                         
                                        and what happened with me on my own meditation path
                                         
                                        this is why I'm trying to share this with others
                                         
                                        you know is that I started out
                                         
                                        meditating and it was incredibly
                                         
    
                                        therapeutic and healing
                                         
                                        and so helpful for me
                                         
                                        and at a certain point
                                         
                                        I was like, well, what about that thing
                                         
                                        that happened on the beach when I was 19?
                                         
                                        It had seemed the most important moment of my life
                                         
                                        because I saw something about what my life really was
                                         
                                        that I'd never seen in any other way, in any other context,
                                         
    
                                        and nobody seemed to sort of talk about it.
                                         
                                        And then the reason I got into Zen
                                         
                                        is that I recognized, I met somebody who did Zen, actually.
                                         
                                        It was quite popular, you know, in America.
                                         
                                        and I was working on my third book at the time
                                         
                                        and I had gone to New Mexico
                                         
                                        and a new friend of mine
                                         
                                        a great writer called Natalie Goldberg
                                         
    
                                        she started reading some Zen stuff to me
                                         
                                        and I just
                                         
                                        recognized
                                         
                                        oh my gosh
                                         
                                        these people know what happened to me on the beach
                                         
                                        they know about it
                                         
                                        and so I got into Zen
                                         
                                        and sure enough
                                         
    
                                        they totally knew about it
                                         
                                        and they actually valued it
                                         
                                        they recognized how important it was
                                         
                                        And through training, you know, a long time in Zen, I actually met, well, I was very lucky
                                         
                                        of me, some fantastic teachers who'd gone even beyond it.
                                         
                                        They knew about it.
                                         
                                        And I had some more experiences, not the same, but same territory, other kinds of non-dual experiences.
                                         
                                        I hadn't known it could show up in different ways.
                                         
    
                                        It's not the one that I had
                                         
                                        where everything's just one
                                         
                                        and I'm part of that oneness
                                         
                                        That's one way it could show up
                                         
                                        Another way it shows us
                                         
                                        In a way there's nobody here
                                         
                                        It's all happening by itself
                                         
                                        I want to regularly spending time
                                         
    
                                        In nature and experiencing awe
                                         
                                        Perhaps
                                         
                                        could help with this
                                         
                                        In the sense that if you are somewhere
                                         
                                        Incredibly awe-inspiring in nature
                                         
                                        and you're not distracted
                                         
                                        and you're not sort of doing something else
                                         
                                        if you actually think about it
                                         
    
                                        and you know it is a wonder that this sort of beauty exists
                                         
                                        and we're even here on this vast incredible planets
                                         
                                        I mean it's you know it really is
                                         
                                        I think beauty can be a way in
                                         
                                        and actually that's why I believe
                                         
                                        the third in that we were just talking about
                                         
                                        flow and absorption
                                         
                                        and this isn't always pointed out about it
                                         
    
                                        but it's a lot of beauty we sense in the third inn
                                         
                                        somehow you know again somebody on a mountain bite
                                         
                                        totally absorbed in it suddenly getting into flow
                                         
                                        it's beautiful it's really beautiful
                                         
                                        and that that beauty can actually serve as a gateway
                                         
                                        to non-dual experience
                                         
                                        where we're overwhelmed by the wonder
                                         
                                        I agree with you oh
                                         
    
                                        That was actually, in that third in section in the book, one of my favorite bits was the stuff about beauty.
                                         
                                        There was one section in terms of beauty in a sick room.
                                         
                                        You say in any moment we can find what we need.
                                         
                                        I thought that's lovely in any moment.
                                         
                                        And you actually illustrated that point from recollection with a mum whose child was quite sick.
                                         
                                        Yes, the child was in a lot of trouble with, you know, addiction issues.
                                         
                                        and yeah she was watching waves on a beach she described us to me so beautifully i wanted to share that you
                                         
                                        know she was just watching these waves in the evening coming up the beach withdrawing coming up
                                         
    
                                        with drawing and and suddenly she noticed how beautiful it was and then she realized she could
                                         
                                        feel the beauty at the same time as feeling all her sorrow and worry about her child who was in such a hard
                                         
                                        dark place she could feel the the the tremendous parents grief and caring for their child who's in
                                         
                                        trouble and also the beauty of the scene before her and then she suddenly realized that both the beauty
                                         
                                        and what she felt about the beauty she was seeing and the the worry they were like no
                                         
                                        in a single experience.
                                         
                                        And even the worry was beautiful.
                                         
                                        So this is really interesting.
                                         
    
                                        Okay, so the appreciation of the deep beauty in the ocean and the waves,
                                         
                                        it didn't make her child not be struggling with addiction.
                                         
                                        Correct.
                                         
                                        But it changed her experience of how she reliance.
                                         
                                        related to her child struggling with addiction.
                                         
                                        Exactly.
                                         
                                        She could see that there was even a beauty in that.
                                         
                                        When you can't change a situation, you're forced to change yourself.
                                         
    
                                        Exactly.
                                         
                                        Exactly.
                                         
                                        And she made that little shift that's so huge to a bigger perspective.
                                         
                                        Do you think sometimes, you know,
                                         
                                        surfers might experience these kind of states in the sense i'm not talking about flow necessarily
                                         
                                        yeah surfing's front of mind because i've just been in australian i would just sit on the beach
                                         
                                        and watch these tribes of surfers just go and i thought it's the most beautiful thing there must
                                         
                                        be some sort of deep connection not just flow state but that you're you're you're
                                         
    
                                        literally riding on this wave that has no way
                                         
                                        It goes probably, you know, if you follow that body of water, it goes all the way around the world, doesn't it?
                                         
                                        Yeah, yeah.
                                         
                                        I mean, I think, actually, I used to teach a Zen to a group of surfers in Southern California pre-COVID.
                                         
                                        Right.
                                         
                                        They were fantastic at meditating and they were so into it because they were that bit closer to getting this non-dual message.
                                         
                                        Because I think exactly what you're describing, that you're riding this body of water that's doing this particular energetic thing of the wave.
                                         
                                        and it's and that's your motion your motion is the waves motion you know and actually with just
                                         
    
                                        with the with the wave thing that you know one of the old metaphors in in several spiritual
                                         
                                        traditions to get this non-duality idea is exactly a wave a wave if a wave as it were thought it was
                                         
                                        its own thing this little shape of water this
                                         
                                        is me and didn't recognize it's part of the whole ocean that's very like non-duality that
                                         
                                        in other words our sense of me i think i'm just this body i don't see that my little cup of
                                         
                                        consciousness here is part of the great ocean of consciousness it's like that it's so so we're
                                         
                                        not denying this this consciousness and but the
                                         
                                        ego says it's mine and it doesn't know how to recognize actually it's part of a vast
                                         
    
                                        a vastness a boundlessness it's part of it and yes it's made this shape called henry or rungan
                                         
                                        you know each of us it's made this being that seems to be its own thing but in non-duality we
                                         
                                        recognize the great ocean that has formed into this wave we recognize the great ocean yeah so that's
                                         
                                        why the term non-duality does not convey how beautiful how mind-blowingly beautiful it is because when we
                                         
                                        find that you know all are maybe just for a moment all our worries are gone yeah because they
                                         
                                        all came from the conviction that we were just the way
                                         
                                        not the whole ocean.
                                         
                                        That's why it's so important.
                                         
    
                                        I think it's the most important thing
                                         
                                        because when we find it,
                                         
                                        we find what our life has been all along.
                                         
                                        We actually find something that feels like the truth.
                                         
                                        Relating that to health for a moment,
                                         
                                        or, you know, traditional health, as it were,
                                         
                                        because, you know, it's kind of interesting we have this conversation.
                                         
                                        I've said for years, this is not a health podcast.
                                         
    
                                        It may seem like a health podcast, but it isn't because health is everything.
                                         
                                        You know, health isn't just in the realms of health.
                                         
                                        Health is related to happiness.
                                         
                                        Health is related to your relationships.
                                         
                                        Health is related to how you feel about yourself
                                         
                                        and your ability to interact with the world in a loving and kind way.
                                         
                                        One of the problems I've always had with Western allopathic medicine,
                                         
                                        of all the benefits, I would say it's way too reductionist.
                                         
    
                                        Everything is kept separate, separate body parts, separate diseases.
                                         
                                        It literally makes no sense at all to me, and it actually makes no sense scientifically or physiologically.
                                         
                                        Everything in the body is connected.
                                         
                                        But bringing it back to you and you had this chronic debilitating exma
                                         
                                        and not necessarily a non-dual experience,
                                         
                                        but meditating per se
                                         
                                        helped you to heal your eczema.
                                         
                                        Is that correct?
                                         
    
                                        It is. I believe that really...
                                         
                                        Yeah, and I've seen that
                                         
                                        and similar patterns before in patients, okay?
                                         
                                        So, I'm really interested,
                                         
                                        yes, on the path to meditation,
                                         
                                        on those first three ins for sure,
                                         
                                        but let's just go to that final step.
                                         
                                        for people who do experience a non-jew, I just, I just don't like that to say a non-chial experience, right,
                                         
    
                                        but this kind of awakening experience. I like awakening. Yeah.
                                         
                                        And if they have the tools to integrate it into their life as you did not when you were 19, but you do now,
                                         
                                        do you see that people often seen improvement in their health and their well-being?
                                         
                                        well. I do, actually. I do. Because there's so much less stress. And they've learned,
                                         
                                        they've discovered an unconditional well-being. Therefore, whatever they're doing is a choice,
                                         
                                        choosing to do it. And typically they reorient more to lives of service.
                                         
                                        You know, they want, it's more important to them
                                         
                                        that what they be doing is of service to others.
                                         
    
                                        And that also brings fulfillment.
                                         
                                        So they're just, they're just happier.
                                         
                                        And yeah, of course, they'll still get diseases as they get older, you know,
                                         
                                        and they'll still get flu now and then.
                                         
                                        But handling it in a way that's much easier,
                                         
                                        that doesn't put additional stress on the system.
                                         
                                        I think it makes a big difference.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
    
                                        One thing that going deeper into non-duality,
                                         
                                        allowing non-duality to be more part of our experience,
                                         
                                        it actually changes our relationship with death.
                                         
                                        We don't think about death in the same way.
                                         
                                        It's actually, it's almost like,
                                         
                                        It's part of life.
                                         
                                        Death is part of life.
                                         
                                        It's not something to be afraid of.
                                         
    
                                        It's already here.
                                         
                                        And this is, here we are.
                                         
                                        So I think that's one of its beautiful consequences.
                                         
                                        We know when we've really sort of got it
                                         
                                        because fear of death has gone.
                                         
                                        A fear of life has gone.
                                         
                                        And we can't.
                                         
                                        we can't be afraid of it fear is gone in fact there's a there's a zendo a zen center that i've
                                         
    
                                        sat in in japan for retreats a number of times where one of my zen masters lives and it has this
                                         
                                        calligraphy above the altar at the end of the room which which says i ask what are those i don't read
                                         
                                        characters you know what what do they mean bringing no fear bringing no fear
                                         
                                        And I find that a beautiful, a beautiful kind of motto for life.
                                         
                                        What if we could get to a place where we're just not afraid?
                                         
                                        Fear has gone.
                                         
                                        And I think the most profound way for me for finding that has been this kind of opening
                                         
                                        more and more deeply to the reality of being not the wave, the ocean, or not just the wave,
                                         
    
                                        but the whole ocean, to being part of the whole ocean of existence and not separate.
                                         
                                        Because if I'm not separate, there's nobody to be afraid.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        I love that, Henry.
                                         
                                        So beautiful.
                                         
                                        And I guess on my own inner journey, spiritual journey, if you will,
                                         
                                        probably since dad died,
                                         
                                        I realized that somewhere along the way
                                         
    
                                        my fear of death has evaporated.
                                         
                                        I can't pinpoint an exact moment.
                                         
                                        There wasn't like, oh, this happened.
                                         
                                        There wasn't this linear thing.
                                         
                                        Oh, I did this and then the fear has gone,
                                         
                                        no, just as part of, it's a bit like this whole thing, right?
                                         
                                        You follow the process.
                                         
                                        Okay?
                                         
    
                                        You follow the daily practice of meditation
                                         
                                        and you'll find there's a whole variety
                                         
                                        of different outcomes
                                         
                                        that would just happen as a constant.
                                         
                                        consequence, not by focusing on the outcome, but by focusing on the process. Henry, I think
                                         
                                        original love is just a beautiful book. It's so well written. It does provide this lovely
                                         
                                        framework on what we might be able to experience as we meditate more and more. I think the way
                                         
                                        app is brilliant. I can see why it's so popular. I'm enjoying it. I love the fact that there's
                                         
    
                                        no choice that you just turn up and it makes it easy this is what you have to do today it's
                                         
                                        it's a fantastic idea i think it's brilliant i've thoroughly enjoyed my conversation with you i
                                         
                                        certainly hope we get the chance to do a part two at some point um but just to finish off
                                         
                                        for that for that person who has made it this far who's listened to the conversation and
                                         
                                        feels that yeah you know what meditation i think is what i need right now
                                         
                                        And perhaps the fourth stage of awakening feels too far just at the moment.
                                         
                                        But they're thinking, yeah, I want a bit of mindfulness and want support.
                                         
                                        I want that flow state from meditation.
                                         
    
                                        But I don't know where to start.
                                         
                                        What would your final words be to them?
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        Well, I don't want to be self-serving.
                                         
                                        But the Way app is a great way to get into it because it lays it out for you so you don't have to choose.
                                         
                                        So that's one option.
                                         
                                        and there's a ton of other great apps
                                         
                                        Headspace Calm
                                         
    
                                        they'll help as well
                                         
                                        but the biggest thing
                                         
                                        is just
                                         
                                        give yourself
                                         
                                        five minutes
                                         
                                        alone
                                         
                                        with yourself
                                         
                                        being still being quiet
                                         
    
                                        if you're not if you don't even
                                         
                                        you know don't even want to
                                         
                                        touch an app fine
                                         
                                        just
                                         
                                        sit down alone for five
                                         
                                        minutes. Just see what it's like, you know, can you let yourself be still and quiet? Just,
                                         
                                        just be you. Because all you're doing is coming home to you. It's not some grand thing
                                         
                                        that you've got to get, you've got to do, really. It's coming home to you. Can you just give
                                         
    
                                        yourself that one minute a day? If you can't do five,
                                         
                                        Do one.
                                         
                                        Henry Shookman, it's been an absolute pleasure.
                                         
                                        Thank you so much for coming on the show.
                                         
                                        Thank you very, very much for having me.
                                         
                                        A delight and a real honour.
                                         
                                        Really hope you enjoyed that conversation.
                                         
                                        Do think about one thing that you can take away and apply into your own life.
                                         
    
                                        And also have a think about one thing from this conversation that you can teach to somebody else.
                                         
                                        Remember when you teach someone,
                                         
                                        it not only helps them, it also helps you learn and retain the information.
                                         
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