Feel Better, Live More with Dr Rangan Chatterjee - How To Make This Your Best Year Yet: 3 Questions To Ask Yourself Each Day with Dr Rangan Chatterjee #413

Episode Date: December 31, 2023

Today’s episode is a special episode that I have recorded all about the transformative power of journalling. Journalling is a practice that I’ve been recommending for many years. Doing it regularly can help improve sleep, lead to better decision making and reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression. It has also been shown to decrease emotional stress, make it easier to turn new behaviours into long term habits, improve the quality of our relationships and, ultimately, help us lead more mindful and intentional lives.   My hope is that this episode will help you understand the key benefits of journalling and some of the ways in which you can get started. The key - as with all new behaviours - is to experiment and find out what works best for you.   In order to celebrate the launch of my own journal ‘The 3 Question Journal’, I outline what I consider to be the three most impactful questions that you can ask yourself every morning and every evening. Answering these questions will take less than 5 minutes, but doing so can prove transformative. Journalling helps you step outside of your life, in order to reflect on your life. And so, whatever your current goals are, the path towards them becomes clearer.   Journalling is a practice that I myself do regularly and my hope is that this episode inspires you to start.   If you want to take a look at ‘The 3 Question Journal’ go to https://drchatterjee.com/journal Support the podcast and enjoy Ad-Free episodes. Try FREE for 7 days on Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/feelbetterlivemore. For other podcast platforms go to https://fblm.supercast.com. Show notes https://drchatterjee.com/413 DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or qualified healthcare provider. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey guys, how you doing? Hope you're having a good week so far. My name is Dr. Rangan Chatterjee and this is my podcast, Feel Better, Live More. Today's episode is a special episode that I've recorded all about the transformative power of journaling. Now journaling is something that I've been recommending for many years. Doing it regularly can help improve sleep, lead to better decision making and reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression. It also decreases emotional stress, makes it easier to turn new behaviours into long-term habits, improves the quality of our relationships, and ultimately helps us lead more mindful and intentional lives. Journaling helps you step outside of your life

in order to reflect on your life. And so whatever you want, the path towards it becomes clearer. Now the goal behind this episode is to help you really understand the benefits of journaling and some of the ways in which you can get started. The key, as with all new behaviours, is to experiment and find out what works best for you. It was really important to understand that in order to journal,

you don't actually need to buy a journal. You could just, for example, write out your thoughts or the answers to some key questions that we're going to be talking about on a piece of paper. And I really want to emphasise this point in order to make this habit as accessible as possible to as many people as possible. At the same time, I do recognise that many of us like to turn the practice of journaling into a daily ritual by buying a journal that we like the look and feel of. If that's you, of course there are many great options out there, but one option you might wish to consider

is my own journal, which is called the Three Question Journal, which literally came out just a few days ago. It's a beautiful linen journal available in three different designs, containing some thoughts and musings from me, as well as a really simple and structured way of answering the three most impactful questions I believe that we can all ask ourselves every morning and every evening. Answering these questions will take you less than five minutes, but the practice of answering them regularly will be transformative. So if you want to take a look at the three question journal, all you have to do is go to drchatterjee.com forward slash journal or click on the link in your podcast app. Whatever your current goals in life, I believe that journaling

will help you reach them. It's a practice that I myself do regularly. And my hope is that this episode inspires you to start. So many patients tell me that life just feels like a blur because of the pressures that so many of us face. The busyness, the overwhelm, the endless to-do list. I've heard it time and time again. Why haven't things changed? Why can't I bring these healthy habits into my life and make them stick? I've been a medical doctor for over two decades and I have to say one of the most transformative practices I have ever seen is the practice of journaling because it breaks the loop. We have these unconscious patterns, these subconscious patterns running our lives. We don't realise how many

anxieties and worries and concerns we have whirring around. And journaling is a very simple way to get the stuff out of your brain. You get it down onto paper and you see it. And that does something really, really powerful. There's many different ways to journal. I think one of the most powerful ways is to ask yourself some really, really important questions. In this podcast, I'm going to share with you three very simple but very powerful questions to ask yourself each morning, but also three questions that you can ask yourself every evening. And if all you do is choose one of these three questions and start asking yourself that question each day and taking maybe one minute

to write down the answer, I can pretty much guarantee that your life is going to start to change for the better. So the first question is what is the most important thing you have to do today? This question is deceptively powerful. What comes up for you? Do you have an answer? Do you have the clarity on that question? Or do you freeze a little bit? Do you go, well, well, well, there's lots of important things I have to do. Do you think, well, that's an important thing for my work, that's an important thing in my personal life, that's an important thing in my social life. One of the problems these days is that our to-do lists are endless. We feel as though everything is equally important

and therefore we feel frustrated and out of control because our to-do lists are never done. But not everything in life matters equally. And by thinking it does, we fall into a trap. It's a trap the modern world sets for us. And it's that trap that if you fall into it, it's going to keep you stuck. You're going to feel unmotivated. You're going to procrastinate. You're not going to move forward in your life because you've got too much to do. This question can immediately start to change that. Now, when I first started asking myself this question, I would say, yeah, well, you know what? There's one answer here for my work life and one answer here for my home life. But over time, as you do this more, you realise that there is only ever one answer. So for example, what did I put down this morning?

Well, when I asked myself this question today, I wrote down, when my children come home from school, I'm going to put my laptop down, pay attention and listen carefully to what they have to tell me. Yesterday, when I answered this question, I said the most important thing I have to do today is stop at lunchtime and go for a 20-minute walk around the block without my phone. That's just two examples from today and yesterday. Sometimes it's the same thing, but it doesn't matter. Now here's something I think many of us don't realise. Because the modern world is so busy and feels so chaotic and out of control, we often feel that we can only do the important things in life once everything else is done.

But everything else is never done. There's always something else to do. Let's say you actually do clear your email inbox. Whilst you're in the kitchen making yourself a fresh cup of tea, you'll probably receive another email. There's nothing you can do about that, or you can't control that. And so the important things in life, our health, our lifestyle behaviours, our relationships, they often fall by the wayside because we try and squeeze them in if we find that we have the time. And I've seen this in my own life. I've seen it with my patients. We often feel that we don't, that we don't have the time. What's so great about this question is that it forces you to write down, and I would suggest you do this in the morning, it forces you to write down

what is the most important thing. And what that means is that you've shifted the focus in your brain. Essentially, you can say, if and when you achieve that thing, if and when you do that thing that day, that day's a win. That's a successful day because the most important thing got done. Now again, I want to get you away from any perfectionist tendencies that you may have. I've struggled with perfectionism for much of my life. We know that perfectionism in society is on the rise and it causes us huge problems because perfect doesn't exist. You cannot have a perfect answer to this question. If we reflect on the two answers I gave today and yesterday about being attentive with my children when they come home from school or

going for a walk yesterday, it's easy to say that they're both important. And yes, of course, looking after my health and nurturing my relationship with my children are both very, very important things. But by writing down what the most important thing is that day, and that answer will depend on what's going on in your life, whether you walked the previous few days, whether you've seen your kids over the last few days, or whether you've been too busy working, whatever it might be. It helps direct your focus. It doesn't mean the other things aren't important, but what you'll find is when you ask yourself this question regularly, hopefully every day, you will start to put more intention and focus on what

truly is important. Now, if when you start this question, you go, look, I can't choose one. I have to do one for work and one for home life. I would say, okay, start there. But over time, you will find that those two answers merge into one. There is only ever one most important thing to do. And the act of asking yourself this question each day will get you better at making that decision. But the most important thing is that you actually make a decision. You don't have to procrastinate. Well, is spending time with my wife more important than spending time with my children? More important than going to the gym? More important than meditating, that is falling into a very dangerous trap. You have to pick one. And by picking one each day, you will get better at it. And you'll

find that your increased decision-making will translate to every other aspect of your life. I've seen it with my patients. I've seen it with myself. That one question alone has changed everything. So now that you've heard me explain it, does that change anything? If I ask you that question now, what is the most important thing you have to do today? Could you answer it? You know, it's interesting,

I learned recently from the author Greg McKeown that when the word priority came into the English language, I think in the 1500s, it only existed as a singular word. Priority. There was no plural. You couldn't have multiple priorities. Whereas now, what happens? We're overwhelmed by decisions, by choice, all kinds of things we have to do. You know, I've got 10 priorities. No, you can only really have one priority. And this question will help you focus on what that priority is what it truly is for you and over time by answering this question you will improve your health your happiness and your relationships now a few months ago i spoke to this wonderful lady bronnie ware on my podcast she wrote a great book called The Five Regrets of the Dying. She was a palliative care nurse,

and she cared for people at the end of their lives for about eight years. And she said, you know what? People at the end of their lives tend to say the same things. They say things like, I wish I'd worked less. I'd wish I'd spent more time with my friends and family. I wish I'd allowed myself to be happy. I wish I'd allowed myself to live my life and not the life that other people expected of me. Now, if we think about those regrets, you could argue that they're a form of journaling, a form of journaling on your

deathbed. But that form of journaling, you could say has come too late. But what can we learn from that? Well, we can learn that people tend to say the same things at the end of their life. People tend to have the same regrets. And this question, what is the most important thing I have to do today? That's going to help you tackle that. That's going to help reduce the likelihood that you're going to get to your deathbed and have those same regrets. Because you're going to now focus on the important things. Your relationships, living your life. It could be that you've got a busy job and you've got a million things to do at work, right? But it may be that you love playing your guitar and you're going to put down in the morning that the most important thing I have to do

today is play my guitar for 10 minutes in the evening? I promise you that will start to transform things because it means no matter what's going on, and many of us face these busy, chaotic lives, you're going to focus on what is truly important. That's why I love this question and that's why I'd recommend you consider asking yourself that question every single day. Before I get to the second question, I just want to say a couple of things about stress. So stress is thought to be responsible for up to 90% of what a doctor like me might see on any given day in practice. might see on any given day in practice. Anxiety, depression, type 2 diabetes, even obesity, sleep problems, gut problems, low libido, all these things are strongly associated with too much stress. And many of us are feeling that stress overload these days. Journaling can be

a very powerful way of helping you reduce stress and reduce things like anxiety. One of the most common forms of stress that I see these days is related to what people do as soon as they wake up. What do you do when you wake up? What's the first thing you do? Do you pick up your phone? Do you look at social media? Do you look at the news? Hey, it's okay. Arguably, most people these days do. But let's just think about why that could be contributing to your stress levels and potentially your mental well-being. A lot of how you feel, a lot of your thoughts, a lot of your emotions are downstream of the content you consume.

It's a really, really important point to understand. If the first thing you do each morning is, let's say, watch the news, which, if we're completely honest, is usually full of negativity. Or let's even say social media, if your social media feed is full of negativity, what impact do you think that's going to have on your mood, on your thoughts and your actions? You're basically starting the day with a big dose of negativity and that then influences how you're going to be for the rest of the day. It influences the way you feel, it may influence the way you interact with your partner, with your children, with your work colleagues. It may impact how likely it is for you to go for that walk, go for that workout, to do that meditation. Because you've got to understand that your brain is wired for

negativity. Humans have this negativity bias. That negativity bias is what has kept you alive for so many years. For most of our days on this planet, humans needed to be fine-tuned to the negative. You had to know whether that noise that you heard was just a rustling of leaves in the bush or a predator about to attack. If you got it wrong, if you thought it was a predator but it was actually the wind, okay, no problem. But if you got it the other way, well, that could be the end. Right? So you're primed for the negative. In fact, psychologists find that humans take in nine bits of negative information for every positive bit. So you are basically hardwired and programmed for that negativity. And that's why the second question revolves around

gratitude. What is one thing you deeply appreciate about your life? So when you go on the news or on social media first thing in the morning, if it's full of negativity, you're basically reinforcing that pattern. And I would argue for most of us, we don't want to reinforce that pattern. That pattern is there anyway. We want to do what we can to focus on the positives. We're going to feel better. If you have positivity going into your brain first thing in the morning, all your thoughts, your mood, your actions, your emotions are going to be downstream from that boost of positivity. And that's why I'm such a big fan of a practice of gratitude. Gratitude, intentionally looking for the things in your life that you already have rather than focusing on what you lack.

It's one of the most powerful things you can do. It is the antidote to that negativity bias. And the more you practice it, the better you get. If you've never practiced gratitude before, you may think, yeah, what do I have to be grateful for in my life? You know, my life's tough. I've got too much to do. I've got too much pressure, too many commitments. Well, most of us, too much pressure, too many commitments? Well, most of us, no matter how tough our life is, most of us, if we really think about it, do have some positives. It might be that you have a capable body that's able to look after you. You can afford shoes to wear on your feet when you go out for a walk, whatever it might be. Most of us have got something positive we can focus on. And if you find it hard initially, that's okay. The more you practice it,

the better you get. You start to see things in your life that you can be grateful for. So the second question I ask myself each day is, what is one thing you deeply appreciate about your life? So when you hear the word gratitude, what do you think? I mean, the truth is many religious practices over the years have got gratitude inbuilt within them. All the major religions in the world do. But there's actually a lot of hard science behind gratitude as well. There was a study led by Chad Burton in America, which basically asked people to write about a positive experience for 20 minutes on three consecutive days.

When they were tested three months later, they were found to have enhanced moods, less illness, and made fewer visits to their doctor. This was a full quarter of a year after their three days of journaling, which I think is absolutely remarkable. But that was 20 minutes, right? That's a long time. You may feel that you don't have that. There's plenty of studies which show that even a smaller amount of time spent on gratitude can have powerful effects. Researchers from the University of Manchester found that people who had more feelings of gratitude not only slept better,

but also had more energy and increased focus. Gratitude has also been shown to lower anxiety, reduce symptoms of depression, improve our self-esteem, improve our relationships, depression, improve our self-esteem, improve our relationships, and improve the way we feel about ourselves. And look, what's there not to like about gratitude? It's free. You don't have to buy anything. You don't have to go anywhere. It just takes a few seconds. So if I was to ask you now, what is one thing you deeply appreciate about your life? Could you answer it? Now, if you're struggling, let's start off with really simple things. Okay, you can be grateful that you can afford food. You can be grateful that you've got the technology that allows you to listen to a podcast. You're grateful for the fact that the sun is shining and you're able to feel those warm sun rays on your face.

You can start there. You could focus on things that you're proud of. You know, I'm proud that I managed to get this job and that I managed to keep it, even though it's been hard. You could also write about things that are giving you pleasure. When I met a friend today, my colleague made me a cup of tea at work, whatever it might be, the more you start to look for it, the more you're going to see. So don't worry too much. You don't have to write a long essay. It could just be a few words or just one sentence. What is one thing you deeply appreciate about your life? The power comes from asking yourself the same question regularly, right?

You ask yourself that every day and you get better. You go deeper. You get to understand yourself better. You start to see things that previously you were blind to. And there's three things I would recommend you think about doing to enhance your gratitude practice. Number one, try to be specific. So let's say, for example, you were grateful for the fact that you have a nice cafe in your village and you can afford to buy a nice Americano every single morning. Okay, great. That's a great answer. But how do you make that more specific? Well, what was it about the coffee? What was it about the flavour? Was it the atmosphere? Was it the fact that the barista smiled at you and said something nice to you as they served you that coffee? What was it? If you can get a little

bit more specific, you start to train that appreciation muscle, that gratitude muscle even more. The second tip would be to focus on people rather than things. Okay, so you could be grateful for things that you have, the shoes that you have that keep you warm on a cold winter's day. But I would say you enhance your practice when you start to focus more on people. For example, I'm grateful for my friend Fiona, who's really supportive and is always there for me when I need her. I'm grateful for my boss because when my kids aren't well, he or she is totally happy for me to stay at home and work from home. Whatever it is, when you start to focus on people over things, you will start to enhance your practice.

And the final tip would be to try to really connect with your emotions. So let's go back to that question, what is one thing you deeply appreciate about your life? Right? So as you're writing it down, really try and connect. If it was that coffee that the barista made for you, just think about how you felt in that moment, how pleased you felt, how cared for you were, how lucky you felt, whatever it might be. how cared for you were, how lucky you felt, whatever it might be. As you're writing it, connect with that emotion. And once you start introducing all of these concepts into your answer, you start to enhance it. You get more of the benefits. But again, I want to emphasize, don't worry about enhancing it. Get the practice built into your life first. Your brain is wired to focus on the negative. Don't reinforce that. Start each morning by focusing on the positive

and watch how things start to change. I promise you, if there's only one thing you take away from this podcast, it's to do this. Start each morning by focusing on what you have in life rather than what you lack, and I promise your life will start to change. So why do I ask the question, what is one thing you deeply appreciate about your life? Why couldn't I say three things or five things? Well, of course I could have. And of course there are benefits to writing three things or five things down. And many people actually have a journaling practice, which is writing down three things that they're grateful for each day or five things or 10 things, whatever it might be. And that's completely fine. You have to do what works for you. The reason I say one thing is because I want to keep it simple.

I want you to listen to this podcast and then take action. I don't want you just to hear it and then go, that was great, and then get on with your life. I want you to go, actually, you know what? Even though I said I don't have time, I actually really do. That won't take me long. So although the question is what is one thing, if you want to write more than one thing, that's fine. But I have found over two decades of seeing patients that when you start small, it's much more effective. And if we look at the science of behaviour change, we know there are some key rules to follow. Number one, you want to make something easy. Sure, you can write five things down, 10 things that you deeply appreciate

about your life. But when your motivation drops, as it always does for everyone, you're much less likely to do it if you have to write a list of five or ten because motivation never lasts. In the research, they call this the motivation wave. Motivation goes up and motivation comes down. If something is difficult to do, you'll do it when your motivation is really high. For example, in the first two weeks of January. But when your motivation drops, as it always does, you'll only do it when it's easy. So that's why I just say write down what's one thing you deeply appreciate about your life. That's one of the reasons the previous question was, what is the most important thing I have to do today? Keep it easy and therefore you do it. Now for me, journaling is what I call

a keystone habit. So what is a keystone habit? Well, it's a habit that when you do it, it makes it much more likely that you're going to engage in other positive habits. We all have keystone habits, whether we're thinking about them or not. And for me, I know that journaling is one of those. I mean, some of my patients say that exercise or a morning walk outside is a keystone habit. When they manage to do it, it's much more likely they're going to cook themselves a healthy breakfast. It's much more likely they're going to go to bed on time because they know they want to get up feeling fresh so they can go for their walk the next day. You can think of this a little bit like a ripple effect. One positive change leads to more positive

changes. And all of us are going to have our own keystone habits. But I've seen time and time again, both with my patients, but also with myself, that journaling can be a very, very powerful keystone habit. On the days that I journal, I'm a better human being. I'm more patient. I'm calmer. I'm more productive. I'm more intentional with how I live that day. And I think the third question actually very much speaks to this. The third question is what quality do I want to show the world today? What comes up for you when you hear that? Is your mind blank? Or do a few qualities come up

whatever comes up for you that's completely okay even if you don't know what you would answer the point is by regularly asking yourself this question like all the questions you'll get better at answering them. You'll learn more about yourself and it will start to change the way you experience each day. For me, this is a very powerful way of intentionally deciding how you want to be in the world. So many of us never really think about how we want to show up that day, how we want to be in the world that day. So we end up repeating past behaviours. We're often reactive. We're often in a rush.

And we think that's who we are. But it's not who we are. It's who we might have become over a period of time. And that's okay. But this question is really, really powerful. Like this morning, what did I put down in my journal? Because I do these questions every day. I said, what quality do I want to show the world today?

I want to show the world the quality of patience. the world today. I want to show the world the quality of patience. Now, what's really powerful about that is by taking a moment to think about it and write it down, it means I've brought that into my current awareness. It means that if there's a situation in life where I may have been tempted to react, I'm going to catch myself because I've almost imprinted it into my mind that morning. It's a form of visualization. Let's just think about that for a minute. Think about top athletes. So many of them practice visualization. We've seen from the science there are all kinds of benefits. You'll see top golfers tell you that the night before they play a round in, let's say, a major tournament, they are visualizing every single hole. They're imagining

what position they're going to get into. They're imagining where the ball's going to go, where it's going to land, how it's going to roll up to the hole. Tiger Woods used to talk about this. And so the golfers would say, when we're actually on the course, we've already played it. It feels familiar. We've already programmed into our mind what we want to happen. And there's really good evidence on this that actually visualization really, really works. Some scientists will say that there really isn't that much difference between actually doing it and imagining it. So this is why this question is so powerful. If I say today, I want to show the world the quality of patience, it's much more likely it's

going to happen. If someone sends me an email that I may have previously interpreted as a bit cold or confronting, I'm going to take a beat, take a pause and be patient. And the real power is not by asking yourself this question once, it's by asking it to yourself every day. You start to reinforce the qualities that you want. And what are those qualities that you want? What is it in your life currently that you think, you know what, I don't want to repeat that behavior anymore. That's not who I want to be. I don't want to repeat that behavior anymore. That's not who I want to be. It could be compassion. It could be kindness. You know, whatever you want. It could be integrity.

It could be curiosity. It could be, you know, today I'm going to be curious when someone has a different opinion to me, when someone says something I don't agree with, I'm not going to get annoyed. I'm going to try not to feel emotionally triggered. I'm going to lead with curiosity. I'm going to ask myself, oh, I wonder why that person has a completely different opinion to me. In many ways, this question is about choosing who you want to be. You don't have to just wake up and behave the way in which you've always behaved. I think that that's down to chance. That's just who you are. It may not be who you are. It may be who you became. And you can change that. And this question has changed the way I interact with my loved ones. And I've seen it

change the way my patients interact. I can literally remember times over the past few weeks, past few months, where I have answered compassion for that question. I want to show the quality of compassion. And if in the day I've ever been tempted to not act with compassion, compassion. And if in the day I've ever been tempted to not act with compassion, that question, answering that question that morning, allows me just to pause and go, no, that's not who you want to be. You want to be someone who acts with compassion. And if you do this day in, day out, you will start to see your life start to change. Now, as a doctor, I'm interested in people making better choices with their lifestyle. And a lot of the time we don't realise why we're making

poor choices. Let's say we're trying to eat well and with our rational mind we think we're going to change things. Well what often happens is let's say with our relationships, let's say we've been a bit reactive, we've had a bad day at work, we've had too much to do. We've got home a bit stressed. And then we've been a bit short with our partner or our children. It's a pretty common scenario. I've seen it with so many patients. What a lot of us don't realise is that generates emotional stress in our bodies. realize is that generates emotional stress in our bodies. And that emotional stress needs to be neutralized. And how do we neutralize emotional stress in our bodies? We generally go towards behaviors that are not that helpful. Sugar, alcohol, doom scrolling online, whatever it might be, because you've generated this stress. A lot of the time that stress comes from the way we interact with others.

This is a big problem. And bringing it back to that question, that's why this question is so powerful. In fact, these three questions are really, really powerful. They are deceptively simple. But I promise you, if you start asking yourself these questions each morning, these three questions or even just one question, you will start to get to know yourself better. You will start to feel better. You'll have more energy, more clarity, more focus. Your mental well-being will improve. You're going to make better decisions. You're going to interact in a much better way with

the other people in your life. You're going to feel better about yourself. And really, these questions are about living an intentional life. That's why I love journaling. That's why, for me, it's a keystone habit. You start journaling each day, let's say in the morning. I really would recommend you think about these three questions in the morning. I think they're very, very powerful in the morning. If you just spend a few minutes, let's say five minutes maximum it takes for these three questions. You start each day with that. Let's say with a cup of tea.

You just sit there enjoying your coffee or your tea with a pen, with a piece of paper. And you write these down, the way that the rest of your day goes will be completely different than had you started off on your smartphone looking at the news or looking at social media. Now, one question that often comes up with journaling is, what do I need to do it in a journal? Can I not just do it on my phone? Well, here's the thing. It's very hard to say for sure, but most of the research seems to suggest that writing things down on paper is more powerful than typing it in to a computer or typing it in on your phone. And that's probably because humans have been writing for thousands of years.

There's something about the pace of writing which in some ways mirrors the pace at which our brains work. I would definitely encourage you to write the answers to these questions on a piece of paper or in a journal rather than on your phone. However, if the option is you either type it into your phone or you don't do them at all, I would say absolutely type them into your phone because you need to do this. You need to take action. Even if all you do is you pick one question. What's the most important thing I have to do today? And every morning on your phone, you type in that answer. I still do believe you're

going to get a lot of benefits. In fact, I can actually remember a 23-year-old patient who was really into his tech, not into writing. I convinced him because he was struggling with anxiety. into writing. I convinced him because he was struggling with anxiety. He was struggling with procrastination. He'd stay inside a lot. He started answering that question, what's the most important thing I have to do each day? He did it onto his phone and things started to change. He struggled with social isolation. So sometimes he would say, the most important thing I have to do today is go out into town and sit in a coffee shop so there's other people around me. Sometimes it would be the most important thing I have to do today is leave the house at some point. The most important thing I have to do today

is not order a takeaway for my meal but go to the supermarket and come back and cook something fresh. And over time, he started to change. Fresh air, movement, healthy food, all these things came on the back of answering that question. So you can do it on your phone if the only option is not. But if you have the choice, I would say write it down with pen and paper. Of course, you don't need to buy a journal. You can just take these questions and write them down on a piece of paper each day or in your diary, whatever it might be. But of course, some of us, we take these things more seriously when we have actually bought a journal that we like. We like the texture. We like the colour. Something that speaks to us. And when you do that, you start to move these practices

away from being routines and they start to become rituals. Things that we really look forward to. I look forward to it each morning. I can't wait to sit there with my cup of coffee and my journal. In many ways, it's become one of the most special parts of the day for me because it's a way of having a conversation with myself. That's what journaling is. Now let's think about conversations. That's what journaling is. Now let's think about conversations. Think about the last time that you were with, let's say, your partner or some close friends and you were able to open up and share what was going on inside. How did you feel afterwards? I think most of the time we find it really beneficial. We feel heard. We get to know ourselves through our conversations with other people. And that's great if you have access to other people,

but not all of us do. And even for those of us who do have close friends, we don't always see them. We can't always get together. So journaling becomes a way of having a conversation with yourself every single day. And you don't have to do it every single day, even once a week or several times a week will help you. But I truly do believe that once you have experienced the benefits of journaling, you will absolutely want to do it every single day, especially because it only takes a few minutes. But my own practice each day, I would say takes me less than three minutes to do, but it's really, really powerful. You do these questions for a few days, you'll feel different. You'll start making better choices.

But do them for a few weeks and dare I say a few months, you'll be like a different person. You'll be showing up in the world as someone completely different. You are much more likely to stick to your healthy behaviors. You're much more likely to have more focus, better decision making, less symptoms of things like anxiety and depression, improved mental wellbeing. These are the types of things that are waiting for you by the simple practice of answering these questions. There's also three questions that are really powerful to ask ourselves each evening but before i get to them i want to give you a few tips on how to how to make this a behavior that very quickly turns into a long-term habit because that's what i think you want

you know we can all do something for a few days or a couple of weeks, but real transformative change only really happens when these things become regular practices. Right, you've got to make something easy if you want it to stick in the long term. That's what all the science, that's what all the behavioural change science shows us. So it's dead easy because it's just three questions and they don't take long. Even if you're listening to this podcast right now and think, I'm too busy. He doesn't get how busy my life is. Well, you're right, but I have seen tens of thousands of patients. I have seen tens of thousands of people over my career who are

probably just as busy as you. And I have always managed to find ways with them to bring a practice like journaling into their lives. And let me just reiterate, answering those three questions in the morning will take you less than five minutes. Answering just one of them, let's say your favourite one, will take you less than one minute. Do you honestly not have time for that? Number two, you've got to stick this new behaviour onto an existing habit. That is the very best way to ensure that this becomes a long-term part of your life. A habit is something you are already doing without any conscious thoughts. So a simple one, especially in the morning, is a hot drink. Many of us, myself included, love a hot drink.

Tea, coffee, whatever it might be. If that's something you do in the morning, could you stick on that journaling habit there? So for me, it is with my black coffee in the morning, I'm sitting in my kitchen, in my pajamas, right? And I'm writing in my journal. I answer those three questions and it changes the way my day goes. But I've made it easy and I've stuck it onto an existing habit. but I've made it easy and I've stuck it onto an existing habit. So what's the existing habit in your morning that you can stick this onto? It could be that you do it before you get out of bed in the morning. You have a habit which is getting out of bed, right? So as you get out of bed, put your feet on the floor, what might it look like if you had a journal on your bedside table and you answered those three questions or just one of them before you did anything else?

Would that make it more likely it's going to happen? Well, I'm pretty sure it will. See, that also includes another helpful tip for making these new behaviours stick in the long term, which is make it visible. By having a journal and a pen on your bedside table, you are visually triggering yourself every time you're in your bedroom. As you get out of bed, you're literally seeing it there. If it's tucked away somewhere in a cupboard or your study or your office, it's much less likely you're going to do it. Or of course, if you are going to do it with a hot drink, can you leave a journal in your kitchen? So when you come into your kitchen in the morning to put the kettle on or to put the coffee machine on,

you are visually being triggered by your journal. Is there a pen that you're keeping alongside your journal? These things are really simple, but they're very effective. If you get to your journal and there's no pen there and you have to move room or go upstairs to get a pen, you're increasing the friction. It means you're less likely to do it. You know, I use these tips for my morning workout. I have a five-minute kitchen workout that I do each day in my kitchen whilst my coffee is brewing. I'm in my pyjamas and in the five minutes it takes my coffee to brew, I do a workout every single morning and there's a dumbbell and a kettlebell in my kitchen. And you know what? A few years ago, my wife used to say, are they going to

live there? Can't you put them out of the way? I said, well, the thing is, if I put them in the cupboard or in the garage, I'm not going to use them. But if they're there every day, I'm going to be triggered by them. So a dumbbell and a kettlebell lives in my kitchen. And I've rarely missed a day in over three years. That's not because I have more motivation than you, it's because I understand the principles of behaviour change and I've applied them. So use those principles, think about how are you going to make it easy, where are you going to put journaling into your day? Are you going to buy a journal? If you are, what colour is it going to be? What's the colour that speaks to you that's going to make it more

likely you're going to fall in love with it and do it? Or are you just going to do it on a pad and paper at home? That's okay. There is no right way. You have to find what works for you. So these are just little hacks. They're little tips that are all supported by science. The more of those things you start to bring in, the more likely it is you're going to stick to them in the long term. I like to finish each day by asking myself some questions so I can reflect on what's happened. I can learn from what happened in the day. You see, those morning questions are about setting the tone, setting your intentions for the day.

The evening questions help you reflect and learn. Okay, there was a study conducted by the Harvard Business Review, which found that participants who journaled at the end of each day had a 25% increase in performance compared to the control group who didn't journal. The researchers concluded our results reveal reflection to be a powerful mechanism behind learning. I think that's key. When we reflect, when we're continually reflecting and assessing how our day went and how we want things to change with the morning questions, but also these three evening questions, we start to learn. We start to deeply learn things about ourselves. Just like an athlete who's got a coach who watches them perform and says, you know what, that was good, that wasn't so good, next time improve this. That's how the athlete gets better. That's what journaling does for us. It helps us improve whatever aspects of our life we want to improve through that process

of self-reflection. So the first question to ask yourself each evening is what went well today? This is a really powerful question. Remember, your brain, my brain, all of our brains have a negativity bias. So it's very, very easy to get to the end of the day thinking you had a bad day, thinking nothing went well. You focus on all the things you didn't get done, the emails you still have to do, the fact that you didn't get to the shops or whatever it might be. That's really common. We all know what that feels like. This question starts to change that. There is almost always something that went well in that day. It could be that your colleague made you a cup of tea. It could be that someone let you out as you were trying to turn into the main road with your car.

They paused to let you go. It could be the bus driver smiling at you on your way to work. It could be something big, like you got a promotion or you finished a project that you've been working on for a while. It could be all these things. Or it could be something big, like you got a promotion or you finished a project that you've been working on for a while. It could be all these things. Or it could be something really, really simple, but really significant. Like, I was really busy today. I was really tired when I got home. But despite that, I took 20 minutes out to cook my family a healthy home-cooked meal. to cook my family a healthy home-cooked meal? By answering this question each day, you remind yourself of at least one thing that went well that day, and that starts to change how you feel

about yourself. It also helps remind you on a daily basis that things are going well each day, because without that question, it's very easy to think that everything's bad. And I've seen with my patients, that question is transformative, especially when you combine it with the second question, what can I do differently tomorrow? Put these two questions together, they're really, really powerful. You learn about something you did well, and then you go, here's an area I can improve. So it could be, for example, that the second question, what can I do differently tomorrow? You may say, I was really, really tired today. I stayed up late last night. I was super stressed after work. I didn't want to go to bed.

I was up watching my box set really, really late. I'd say when I woke up this morning, I was exhausted. I couldn't focus. I was a bit reactive with the people around me. I had too much coffee, too much sugar, all because I was sleep deprived last night. Tonight, I'm going to make sure I actually go to bed on time. I'm not going to stay up late because I've seen the consequence of when I do that. Or it could be something else. It could be, you know what, in the morning when I said, what's the most important thing I've got to do today? I said, go for my 20 minute lunchtime walk. And maybe you didn't do it. Maybe you didn't manage to do it, even if you wrote it down

first thing in the morning. That's okay. Life's not perfect. We're all human. We don't get it right all the time. That's okay. The problem is though, we can start to beat ourselves up. We can start to get negative. We can start to think that we can't make changes. But these two questions together are very, very powerful because they help you change in a very, very compassionate way. You are being kind to yourself. What went well today? What can I do differently tomorrow? So it could be that you say, you know what, today I didn't get out for that walk. I know how good I feel when I put my phone down and go for that 20 minute walk at lunchtime. I know that I'm more productive in the afternoon. I'm better focused. I feel good because I know

I'm doing something for my health and I sleep better that night, whatever it might be. So you put down tomorrow, I'm going to make sure I go for my lunchtime walk. And actually, I've designed these evening questions to work very, very well alongside those morning questions because each one keeps reinforcing the other one. And it allows you to compassionately keep assessing yourself, but also making change. That helps you become self-aware. And that's the most important skill you can ever develop. Self-awareness is important for whatever you want to achieve in life. Now what's really interesting about self-awareness is that most people will tell you they are incredibly

self-aware but the research suggests that that's not quite the case. There's some powerful research showing us that only 10 to 15 percent of us really have a high degree of self-awareness. I mean that means the majority of us, up to 90 percent of us, are not that self-aware. If you start regularly journaling you'll be able to catch the patterns. You'll be able to go, ah you know when I have a stressful day at work and I'm not feeling good in myself, my go-to at that point is sugar. That's self-awareness, right? That's the self-awareness that journaling is going to give you. And that's why I think journaling is so powerful. So have a think about them. Have a think about those questions. What would stop you from asking yourself those two questions in the evening?

It just takes a few minutes. The third question I'd encourage you to ask yourself in the evening is, what did I do for someone else today? And again, it's a very, very powerful question. And again, it's a very, very powerful question. Many people who are struggling with their mental well-being become very inward focused. Everything is about us and our life and why we're struggling. But one of the quickest ways to take you out of that is to do things for other people. Take yourself outwards. And it may be that you try and answer that question and go, you know what, I didn't do anything today. I was just caught up in my own world, with my own work, with my problems. Okay, no problem. These journaling questions, these prompts are there to help you in a compassionate way. But if you genuinely

think you've done nothing for anyone else, that's okay. You put it down and you're prompted to do something the following day. Because if you don't, you're going to have to answer that same question again, say, I didn't do anything for anyone. But the truth is very few people haven't done something for someone else. Again, the more you do it, the better you get. You think broadly. Oh, you know, I was driving today to drop my kids off at school and I let that car out at the main junction. I didn't have to do it. I did that. The postman came round and I said, thank you for the delivery they brought round. I went to the supermarket and there was an elderly man who was struggling with his shopping and I helped him to his car with it.

Once you start looking for these opportunities in your life, you will find that they are there. And as I say, if you genuinely think you don't do things for other people, simply asking yourself this question will prompt you to do that. And there is just so much research behind kindness, behind doing things for other people. Individuals who are other-focused experience greater happiness. One study suggested that practicing kindness may have more of a positive effect on our health and happiness than diet and exercise. That's really powerful. Why might that be? Well, when we do things for other people, we feel good. We feel good about ourselves. We are social animals. We're designed to be

with and around other people. When we're doing something that brings us closer to them, When we're doing something that brings us closer to them, we send ourselves a signal that the world is good. It's a safe place. You know, I've got a tribe around me. And therefore, you're much more likely to make better choices because you feel good about who you are. It's really, really powerful. There was a Japanese study that found that simply counting your own acts of kindness each week makes you happier. Well, that's what this question's doing for you. If every night you're saying to yourself, what did I do for someone else today? You're reminding yourself

constantly that you do things for other people each day. And if you do get a journal, you can actually flip back through your journal and go, wow, man, I've done something every day this week for someone else. And that sends yourself a signal that you're a good person. You're a caring person. And that's really, really important. So please do not underestimate the power of these questions. After over two decades of clinical practice, having seen tens of thousands of patients, I genuinely believe that the reason people struggle in their life is because they're reacting.

They're not living an intentional life. They're not choosing how they want to be in the world. So they allow the world and the people around them to dictate the way they're going to be in the world. So they allow the world and the people around them to dictate the way they're going to be. That's why journaling will change your life. That's why journaling will transform the way you experience things because you're taking charge. You become the driver off your life rather than a passive passenger. Now I want to reiterate something. I have come up with what I consider to be the three best questions that you can ask yourself each morning and the three best questions

you can ask yourself each evening. And how have I come up with those questions? Yes, I've looked at what the research, what the scientific research says, what it supports, but I've also combined that with what I've seen with patients. What are the questions over the years that have really moved the needle, that have actually made a difference? Because science is great, but we have to be able to convert that science into people's busy lives. If we can't, it doesn't really matter what the research says. So these questions have been tried and tested in the lives of thousands of my patients. They've been tried and tested in my life.

I know they work. And I know if you give them a shot, they're going to work for you. and I know if you give them a shot, they're going to work for you. So how are you going to make these questions a part of your day? How are you going to make them a part of your life? How are you going to make those three morning questions a ritual? Where does that fit in? Do you want it in your life hopefully i've persuaded you i've convinced you hopefully i've even inspired you to start each day by ask yourself those three questions hopefully i've also done the same for the three evening questions so have a think how are you going to bring journaling into your life? Are you going to buy a journal? What

colour is it going to be? Are you going to just do that on a pad and paper? Where are you going to put that journal or that pad? Where are you going to visually trigger yourself each day to do it? Is it going to be your bedside table? Is it going to be your living room? Is it going to be in your kitchen? My challenge to you, if you're on the fence, is to pick one question. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that one question for seven days. Don't do it for less than seven. Don't assess whether it's working until you get to seven days at least give it that time you could pick you know that morning question what's the most important thing i have to do today do that for seven days it can literally be done in less than a minute but let's say it takes you a bit longer two minutes i pretty much guarantee you're going to feel better about yourself. You're going to feel

better about your life at the end of those seven days. And then once you've experienced the benefits, I think you'll want to continue. Of course, if you don't, I completely understand. But give it a go. Get these questions into your life. Find a way to bring them into a routine, over time turn that routine into a ritual and before you know it, it's going to be something that you actively look forward to. Honestly, when I go to bed sometimes in the evening, I can't wait for the following morning because I'm looking forward to opening up my journal. It's a way of having a conversation with myself each day. It transforms the way I think, transforms the way that I show up, and ultimately it transforms the way I experience life. So make it easy, think about where you're going to put it in your day, start small,

and watch your life start to change. So I really hope you enjoyed listening to that solo episode from myself. As you will have heard me say, there are many different ways to journal. So if you have been inspired to give it a go, please experiment and find the method that works best for you. And if you have been inspired to give it a go, please experiment and find the method that works best for you. And if those questions that I shared in the episode resonated and connected with you, then please do consider checking out my own journal that I have created in collaboration with Intelligent Change. It's called The Three Question Journal. It has literally just launched and we have worked really hard to make a beautiful product that is going to make journaling easy to implement into your life. It's available in three different designs. It is 100% FSC recycled

and the shipping is 100% plastic free. I really do think that this is a special journal that will help transform the lives of many. If you are tempted to pick up your own copy, you can see all details at drchatterjee.com forward slash journal or by clicking on the link in your podcast app. If you enjoyed today's episode, it's always appreciated if you can take a moment to share the podcast with your friends and family or leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. I also just want to take a moment to say a big thank you to all of you

who listen to my podcast every week. Apple Podcasts have announced that this show is the seventh most listened to podcast in the UK out of all podcasts, which is simply incredible. A lot of that is down to all of you who listen each week, share the episodes with your friends and family, and take a few precious moments to leave reviews. All of these things really do make a difference. So a big thank you from the bottom of my heart. And before I sign off, always remember, you are the architect

of your own health. Making lifestyle change is always worth it. Because when you feel better, you live more.