Feel Better, Live More with Dr Rangan Chatterjee - Silence as Medicine: How Moments of Stillness Transform Your Brain, Body & Emotional Health with Erling Kagge #551

Episode Date: April 29, 2025

This week, I'm joined by the remarkable Erling Kagge, Norwegian adventurer, philosopher and acclaimed writer. Erling is the first person to complete the "Three Poles Challenge" - reaching the North Po...le, the South Pole, and the summit of Mount Everest on foot. After this record-breaking feat, Erling attended Cambridge University to study philosophy.  He’s also the author of multiple best-selling books, including, Silence: In the Age of Noise and Walking: One Step at a Time. When Erling was 29, he did something most of us can't imagine - he walked alone to the South Pole for 50 days in complete silence, with no radio contact whatsoever. What started as a physical journey across ice became something far more profound - a journey into himself.  In our conversation, we explore  Why Erling believes silence is where "the world's secrets are hidden" and how finding quiet moments can help us get to know ourselves better - and appreciate others more Erling’s surprising relationship with fear and how being "one with the environment" creates an unexpected sense of peace even in extreme danger - like facing a charging polar bear! The three simple origins of true gratefulness that Erling found during his expeditions: feeling warm after being cold, feeling full after being hungry and resting after exhaustion – experiences most of us rarely have in our comfortable modern lives How our experience of boredom has completely changed – from being bored because nothing is happening to feeling bored because too many things are happening at once Why Erling believes we should actually "make our lives more difficult" on purpose and how this approach helps us find meaning and satisfaction Practical ideas for bringing moments of silence into our busy lives – whether it's walking without your phone, taking the stairs instead of the lift, or just standing still for a few minutes As Erling reminds us, most of us don't realise what we're truly capable of. His encouragement to break free from limiting beliefs, to move our bodies more, and to add variety to our routines offers a practical path toward a more meaningful life.  In his words, finding fulfilment is about "finding your own North Pole" – a journey that asks us to be brave enough to face ourselves in silence. I hope you enjoy listening.  Support the podcast and enjoy Ad-Free episodes. Try FREE for 7 days on Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/feelbetterlivemore.  For other podcast platforms go to https://fblm.supercast.com.   Thanks to our sponsors: https://drinkag1.com/livemore https://vivobarefoot.com/livemore https://airbnb.co.uk/host   Show notes https://drchatterjee.com/551   DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or qualified healthcare provider. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

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Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Most humans are underestimating themselves. This goes through from childhood, teenage years into adult life, and all this kind of negativity shapes you. So somehow you have to break free of it. Somehow you have to be a little bit brutal to yourself. It's easy to say, it's difficult to do, but is it worth it? Yes. Hey guys, how are you doing?
Starting point is 00:00:31 Hope you're having a good week so far. My name is Dr. Rongan Chatterjee and this is my podcast, Feel Better, Live More. This week, my guest is the Norwegian adventurer and philosopher Erling Kager. Erling is a remarkable and inspirational human being who I have been wanting to speak to on my podcast for years. At the age of 29, he spent 50 days walking to the South Pole by himself in complete silence. And he's the first person to complete the Three Poles Challenge, reaching the North Pole, the South Pole, and the summit of Mount Everest on foot. He's also the author of multiple bestselling books, including Silence in the age of noise, walking one step at a time, and his very latest, the
Starting point is 00:01:29 North Pole, the history of an obsession. In our conversation, we discuss why his expeditions, even though they start off being physical journeys, end up as being something far more profound, journeys inward into himself. Erling believes that silence is where all the world's secrets are hidden, and that finding quiet moments in our day-to-day lives can help us get to know ourselves better and appreciate others more. We also discuss how our experience of boredom has completely changed in modern times, from being bored because nothing is happening,
Starting point is 00:02:11 to feeling bored because too many things now are happening at once. We explore the importance of making our lives more difficult, why Erling felt no fear when coming face to face with a bear and the three simple things that Erling found renewed appreciation for during his epic expeditions. Feeling warm after being cold, feeling full after being hungry, and resting after true physical exhaustion. Erling believes that most of us do not truly realize what we're capable of.
Starting point is 00:02:49 In his words, finding fulfillment is about finding your own North Pole. A journey that asks us to be brave enough to face ourselves in silence. I want to start off by talking about silence. Okay. You have said that silence is where the world's secrets are hidden. So how can someone who's just stumbled across this conversation who is constantly surrounded by noise, start to cultivate that inner silence and what are the benefits of them doing so? The benefits are so many, but one of course is to get to know yourself better and to be
Starting point is 00:03:39 satisfied in your own company. And I think one of the ways to discover the silence is this inner silence is to be aware that noise and not only sounds, but also distractions from your phone or distractions for whatever in your life. It could also be a light, it could be sound, it could be smell, it could be of course, your telephone buzzing, et cetera, et cetera. All this noise is about other people,
Starting point is 00:04:07 all this noise is about running away from yourself, running away from who you are, forgetting yourself, living through other people, other devices, while silence, inner silence is about you, it's about who you are. And if you're going to be able to live a rich life, a fairly happy life, you get to know yourself. Of course, the easiest solution in life is to go for noise and relate to noise. And the more difficult option is to listen to yourself, listen to your own inner silence. And that's of course why people quite often choose noise. Now when I hear you talk about silence and the benefits of silence, I think it has an
Starting point is 00:04:59 extra resonance for me because you are this world famous explorer. Okay. You've been to the top of Mount Everest, you've been to the North Pole, you've been to the South Pole. And I want to talk about a lot of these adventures and what you learnt about the world, about time, about yourself through those explorations and those expeditions. But relating this to silence, when you went to the South Pole, my understanding is that you did that with no radio, with no one surrounding you. So you had an entire 50 days in silence. First of all, is that correct? And if it is, can you paint a picture for us? What is that like? Because I it is, can you paint a picture for us? What is that like?
Starting point is 00:05:46 Because I think today some people struggle to get even five minutes of silence, yet you had 54 days. It was a superb experience because for the first couple of days you get restless. You're missing the noise, you're missing people, you're a bit worried because it's 1300 kilometers to go just by yourself and but then you calm down and you adapt to the circumstances, you're starting to look into nature, you're starting to listen to yourself and fairly soon you don't miss other people's company that much. The only thing I missed walking to the South Pole was skin contact, we kind of hugging another
Starting point is 00:06:34 person and I think that was about it. For me, of course, it was a journey, an expedition towards the South Pole, but it ended up being a more important journey into myself, into my own soul. And I learned a great lesson on silence. But then later in life, I got three daughters and eventually they became teenage daughters and my life was very much about noise. And I understood my kids, they didn't really know what silence is. And they said, silence is nothing.
Starting point is 00:07:08 Like also most philosophers say that silence is nothing and nothing comes from nothing. And then I understood, I have to sit down and write a book about silence. What silence is, where it is and why it's important. It was my expedition to the South Pole who really taught me the importance of silence and being able to be silent and to be,
Starting point is 00:07:30 silence is not about turning you back to the world. It's not about living a more egocentric life. It's about the opposite. It's about seeing the earth from a different perspective. It's about respecting other people to a greater degree. It's about appreciating yourself and your own company more and it's about loving life even more. It's interesting that you went on this individual journey, yet you're saying that the silence that you manage to experience and I guess cultivate
Starting point is 00:08:08 within yourself through that journey has helped you appreciate the world around you more. It's helped you appreciate other people more. And I want to ask you then, is there a contradiction in some ways where we say that humans are social beings, right? You know, there's parts of our physiology and our brains that are, we think, about connecting with others. Yet at the same time, you said something really, really fascinating for me, that when you are, when you were going to the South Pole, after a few days, you didn't want other people around you. Is that a contradiction?
Starting point is 00:08:46 No, it's not a contradiction, I think, because I think a good start to be able to appreciate other people and also respect other people is to be content with yourself and be able to be enjoying your own company. And I think that's one of the reasons why you have so much unhappiness in society, because people have, to a great degree, forgotten themselves and forgotten how to be in their own company and always living through other people, always living through other devices. And then it's, in my experience, it's getting difficult to appreciate other people in that way. How old were you when you went to the South Pole? Oh, 29.
Starting point is 00:09:30 Uh... What year was that? 92, 93. Okay. A different world back then. Pre-internet, pre-smartphone, pre-social media. It's easy for someone like me or frankly anyone these days to look back on the 90s or the 80s with rose-tinted glasses and go, oh, you know, we all had solitude
Starting point is 00:09:54 then, we all had silence back then. But that's not true, is it? No, no, no, no. I think those years were quite similar to the lives we're living now. Really? Yeah, I think so, in many ways. But one huge difference, of course, is the smartphone. That we are available at all times and they want to be available at all times. And this whole idea about being entertained all the time has been growing. And also that we're being bored in a different way today.
Starting point is 00:10:26 Like when I grew up, we were bored because nothing was happening. And I remember my mother said to me, Eilin, it's healthy to be bored every now and then. And I thought almost she was joking. Today, I understand she was right. And today people are bored because too many things are happening, too many alternatives.
Starting point is 00:10:44 And then it's always some action on your screen. So then they have kind of a different existential boredom. But I think, you know, it's kind of the same kind of feeling, but you're still there. People are really bored, I think. When you went to the South Pole, was there an option of having a radio? Yes, it was an option. I was actually forced to bring a radio by the airplane company who flew me off to the northern edge of Antarctica. For safety?
Starting point is 00:11:12 For safety, yeah. So, but my goal was to be the first to walk along to the South Pole and I also wanted to do it in solitude. So I threw away the batteries of the radio in the garbage bin of the plane. So you took the radio to comply with legal. Yeah. And then you thought, you know, you need to choose your battles. And I couldn't take that
Starting point is 00:11:36 battle with the airplane company because they, you know, we're not going to fly you unless you bring a radio. So I took the radio, emptied it with the batteries. And when I was standing on the ice, seeing the plane taking off, and it was between 1300, 40 kilometers to the south pole, I was totally by myself. I had a kind of a beeper who could send messages out, not receiving anything, if it was emergency. But of course, if you fall into a crevasse, no one's going to hear that signal. So I was pretty much by myself. And that was the goal to be by myself for 50 or 60 or 65 days.
Starting point is 00:12:21 But it's kind of a Norwegian dream to be able to ski all day, sleep well at night and ski the next day again. But also what I experienced is this silence and you move, you're being moved. It's in other language, you have motion, emotion. So it was, in that respect, it was kind of one long kind of meditation. Like you kind of get self hypnotized
Starting point is 00:12:48 because life becomes so simple. You get up in the morning at the same time, you do things, two things at the same time, cook breakfast, maintain your gear, repair your gear, prepare lunch, then you take down your tent, you get going, you have fixed routines, so when to have breaks, eat the same food every day.
Starting point is 00:13:09 It doesn't take that well when you start on the expedition, but after getting more and more exhausted, it tastes better and better and better. And you go to sleep the same time every evening. So in that respect, it's kind of also a very comfortable life. And you live in the present that you tend to forget the past. You tend to stop thinking about the future because all those faults are also noise in your life that you're thinking too much. But someday, you gradually, you become present in your own life.
Starting point is 00:13:39 Yeah. You know, when I was rereading Silence, one of your earlier books, which came out a few years ago now, it really struck me that, or certainly came to me, something I've been saying for many years now is I think for most people, I can't say for everyone, because we're all different, we all have different lives. We can never say for everyone. Exactly. But I would imagine for most people that the single most important daily practice they can do in the modern world in 2025 is having a daily practice of solitude. I really believe that more than I ever have done. But I imagine that when people hear that,
Starting point is 00:14:25 one of the things they're gonna say is, I don't have time for that, right? That's usual comment. Okay, what's your take on that? I think in general, people are underestimating themselves. I have traveled to more than a hundred countries, talked to thousands of people. And in general, people are underestimating
Starting point is 00:14:46 the possibilities they have in life. And 10 minutes of solitude is better than no solitude. And I also think I have to respect that, some phases of life with small kids, et cetera, it's more difficult, but in general, I think people are wrong when they say they're not having time for such. And I think, you know, what he said is so true that solitude, of course, it's kind of,
Starting point is 00:15:16 it can be something negative, just like with silence, it could be something negative, of course. One minute of silence, silence in the church and the funeral, silence when you're sitting, when you're heartbroken. It could be negative, but it's also very enriching. And solitude is certainly needed. And people today, they have too much noise and just too little solitude. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:43 Yeah. What's interesting is when you were describing the start of that South Pole journey to me, you said for the first two days, you're a bit restless. Yeah. Right. And I think this is a really key point for us to just emphasize here, right? This idea that if you're used to constant stimulation and noise, if that's your norm, you know, 10 minutes of silence may well feel quite threatening, right? If you came from the city, you got the plane out to the South Pole and you're about to
Starting point is 00:16:17 embark on this journey for the first two days, you almost need to let the thoughts burn themselves out, right? So that you can access the silence that's actually there within us. Right? Back in October last year, so 2024, I was involved with a Channel 4 documentary about smartphones in children. And we went to a school and we did this experiment. So for 21 days, year eight, so this is kids who were about 12 years old or so, gave up all technology, smartphones, gaming devices and their laptops,
Starting point is 00:16:55 right? And we were measuring with the University of York, what happens. And what you said in this sort of macro view of going to the South Pole happened in the micro when we went to the school rides. The first two to three days, it was like they were withdrawing from a truck, really restless. They were kind of missing it. Like, what am I going to do? Just reminded me when I've had patients before, you know, coming off sugar or alcohol, whatever it might be. I was like,
Starting point is 00:17:25 wow, this is really interesting. And then they all pretty much dropped in to this greater feeling of calm. Right. And we studied this and anxiety went down, depression went down. The kids felt more socially connected, right? They were worried beforehand. They thought they were going to feel less, they felt more socially connected, right? They were worried beforehand. They thought they were going to feel less connected. They felt more socially connected without these devices and they were sleeping more, but you had to go through two to three days of discomfort. And so bringing it back to how someone watching this video or listening to this podcast right now can find silence in their lives. Have you got any advice for us in terms of this idea that actually if you're used to noise, silence is going to feel uncomfortable at first, but
Starting point is 00:18:13 you've almost got to get through that to get the peace? It is uncomfortable to search for silence. Of course, hundreds of thousands, maybe millions of people actually working day and night to make us addicted to different apps, to get us addicted to the screens. So of course, many of these people are super clever and doing a good job. And so it is difficult to search for silence and experience silence, as you said, for a while. And I think, you know, your experiment is really interesting and I would find it like maybe next time, you know,
Starting point is 00:18:53 also combine it with having the same people doing some off doors. Because of course, young people today, they hardly spend any time in nature. Yeah. And they hardly walk, they hardly move. Like just here in England, when I wrote my book on walking,
Starting point is 00:19:15 I saw this research that, you know, who's spending the least time being outside of a building in UK? I thought it would be prisoners, like they routinely have one hour outside their cell every day, walking back and forth, whatever they do. But 40% of kids in UK spend less than an hour outside every day.
Starting point is 00:19:39 25% of the kids, they're not outside at all. Of course they go back and forth to school, whatever, but that's it. So, you know, the possibility to have a good life if you're not outside, I don't think anything is impossible, at least not philosophically in life, but it's almost impossible to have a good life.
Starting point is 00:19:58 So of course, that experiment combined with being a little bit in nature, I think miracles will happening. And of course, miracles are happening every day. We just don't see them, but this will be a huge miracle. Interestingly enough, although we didn't prescribe what they would do,
Starting point is 00:20:18 a lot of the kids actually ended up outside more. Exactly. And they were playing more and they were starting to invent games with twigs and that kind of boredom stuff, which we would have done in the past. But I do think this is one of the most alarming things in the modern world and how we've eroded silence away from our lives.
Starting point is 00:20:36 It kind of doesn't exist for many people. In your book on silence, and actually this is even a theme, I would say in your latest book, The North Pole, The History of an Obsession, which is just another phenomenal book which has really captured my attention. There's this theme of silence I think throughout all your work, at least all the work that I've read of yours, right? And one of the things that you write about that comes across is this idea that silence
Starting point is 00:21:03 is not emptiness, but it's a gateway to self-discovery. Yeah. And, you know, the most important discovery in the world is to, you know, discover who you are. And we have this tendency in life to always choose the easiest option, which I think is a huge mistake. I think we actively need to make our lives
Starting point is 00:21:29 more difficult than they have to be. It's not for everyone, but let's say most people, they should actively make their life a little bit more difficult. Yeah. That's the only way to find meaning in life, to make it more difficult. In my last book, I put forward this hypothesis that I've had for a number of years about
Starting point is 00:21:56 certain patients that I'd seen. And it really relates to what you have just said, and I'd love to get your take on it. A lot of patients over the years, I have seen have this almost low-grade anxiety. And I've had this strong feeling for a period of time that this comes from not regularly testing themselves. Okay. So I believe on a core deep level, we all know that life could get tough at some point. Right? Life is a struggle. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:34 It has to be a struggle. Yeah. This whole idea that to have as little resistance as possible in life, it's just a huge misunderstanding. Yeah. But here's the thing. And I think this relates to your point, right? That if you are not regularly doing things that test you, that are a bit uncomfortable, you actually become weak. Physically weak, yes, but also mentally weak, right? And I don't say
Starting point is 00:22:58 that in a judgmental way, just to be clear. I'm just saying that you have this kind of fragile sense of who you are. You know that if life was to get tough, which it just saying that you have this kind of fragile sense of who you are. You know that if life was to get tough, which it could do, you can't cope because you haven't regularly tested yourself. So people talk about the benefits of physical activity, and they look at your hormones and what it does for your muscles. And sure, I've seen all the research and I agree. At the same time, I think one of the key benefits of physical activity, depending on how you
Starting point is 00:23:27 do it, is that you teach yourself resilience. You show yourself that I'm a capable human being who can cope. If you never have silence or solitude or adventure or you do anything uncomfortable, you're not showing yourself with any real world evidence that you can cope. No, it's dramatic for everyone who's in that situation. It's a major problem in society. Same in Norway? Yes, it is. But Norwegians are closer to nature than people in the UK and people in most places. When you say closer to nature, what do you mean?
Starting point is 00:24:09 Do you mean it's easier to access nature for Norwegians? Easier to access nature, but also spending more time in nature in general. I mean, Norwegians should improve, I think. They're also hooked on social media and blah, blah, blah. And also prefer to sit down in a chair, looking into a screen to see what's going on in the world and getting to know themselves and have a good life. But then again, compared to UK and most countries,
Starting point is 00:24:38 Norwegians spend more time in nature. It's more integrated in their lives. So it's a little bit better, but it's moving the wrong direction. Yeah. Do you meditate? I meditate in the sense that I do a lot of walking. I love walking.
Starting point is 00:24:55 And for me, that's a kind of meditation. I would walk without holding a phone in your hand and for 10 minutes or for two hours or for more, for me that's meditation. And in addition, I do self-diagnosis. So I try to self-diagnose myself every late afternoon because then quite often a little bit tired from a long day and then I get into my subconsciousness for 20 minutes and I feel totally refreshed
Starting point is 00:25:27 the rest of the evening. So you do self-hypnosis in the afternoons. Is that something you had to learn? It's something you can learn, but it's very easy to learn. It's a friend of mine, I met her in UK in 95 when I was reading philosophy. He said to me, Arlen, you have been self-hypnotized yourself throughout your life, from expeditions, etc. without knowing it. So you should learn the technique to get to know yourself better. So he taught me in one day, which I think everyone can learn how to hypnotize myself.
Starting point is 00:26:06 And you said you have energy afterwards. What are some of the other benefits you get from self hypnosis? Certainly energy. I still need to sleep the same amount of hours, but energy. And also I believe I'm kind of manipulating my subconsciousness a little bit, but of course the subconsciousness is either with you or against you. So I think, you know, it's getting on my side.
Starting point is 00:26:34 And sometimes I'm hypnotized just go into this silence and everything's disappearing. And all the occasions I try to follow an idea into subconsciousness and chase that idea while I'm subconscious. Yeah. Wow. And thoughts about self-hypnosis. But it's, you know, it's on the 20 minutes. And for me, it's like, you know, it's not super important, but it's, it is important and it makes my life more, more comfortable.
Starting point is 00:27:02 Yeah. Let's talk about time, right? Because whether it's in what you just said or some of the powerful ideas I've been reading about in your book, The North Pole, right? I've been thinking a lot about time and how clock time I don't have a watch on, right? I don't wear a watch for that reason. I think that's a good idea. It's funny, I used to be obsessed with watches as a kid. I'd always want to know the time and about, I don't know, four or five years ago, I thought I'm not interested.
Starting point is 00:27:33 I will think about that actually. Because wearing a watch, and I guess if you have a smartphone, then you're going to constantly see the time on that thing anyway. So that's one reason why I guess people don't need to wear watches in the way that they may have done in the past. And I also accept that you may have a certain job where you need to look at the time and be on that clock time regularly, but time really is a human construct.
Starting point is 00:27:56 Totally. Right? You... And you think that, oh, that time has moved on in a linear fashion, but that doesn't account for your experience of time, right? One hour with your best friends, having a deep conversation is still one hour of clock time, but one hour of watching paint dry
Starting point is 00:28:18 may have a completely different experience, but we still measure it in the same way, right? And so going back to this idea that people will say, I don't have time for solitudes. I bet for most people that 20 minutes of solitude you take each day because of how it will change the way you see yourself, view the world, you'll probably process certain ideas, you will actually get that time back throughout the day. So that 20 minute investment probably gives you two hours in the day,
Starting point is 00:28:49 but you don't realize it. What's your take on that? Because you've got a really interesting relationship with time. And I'll talk to you about the bits about the North Pole, which really resonated with me, but how do you see time? Today's episode is sponsored by Vivo Barefoot. So if you've been listening to my podcast for a while, you will know that I am a huge fan of Barefoot shoes and believe that everyone at some point in their life should try wearing them. I myself have been wearing
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Starting point is 00:30:55 So if you're not happy, you can just send them back for a full refund. If you go to vivobarefoot.com forward slash live more, they are giving 20% off as a one-time code to all of my podcast listeners. Terms and conditions apply to get your 20% off codes. All you have to do is go to vivobarefoot.com forward slash live more. This episode is brought to you by Airbnb. My family and I have enjoyed some wonderful trips over the years using Airbnb from Greece to Egypt. And recently we went to the Swiss Alps and stayed in the most amazing Airbnb.
Starting point is 00:31:38 And when I got back, I caught up with one of my old schoolmates and he mentions that he and his family host their place on Airbnb whenever they go away on holiday. He tells me it's really easy and completely flexible. They decide when they want to host and how long for. Plus the extra money they earn helps cover future trips away, meals out, activities with the kids and even everyday household expenses. Which got me thinking, when we're next away as a family and our house sits empty, perhaps we could also host our place on Airbnb and make some extra money too.
Starting point is 00:32:22 And if you have a trip coming up and want to make the most of your space, maybe you could do the same. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much. It's airbnb.co.uk forward slash host. First of all, you know, when, as I said earlier on, of course, you know, sometimes you're simply short on time because you have small kids or whatever, like, you know, blah, blah, blah. But in general, when people say they're short on time, I don't say it straight to them because it could be upsetting, but you know, in general, it's bullshit.
Starting point is 00:33:06 Because we have a lot of time and life is long if you live your life in a way that you have some variety. But of course, if you spend three or four hours every day on social media, many people of course spend a lot more. That's around 13 years, night and day of your life. And no wonder you feel short on time. So you just need to change that habit 99% or 50% or whatever, and you will certainly have time. So that's one take.
Starting point is 00:33:49 But then how to experience time. Of course, if you go to Japan, stay for two days, you feel like you've been there for two or four weeks because everything is different. And, but if you sit at home looking to a screen, most of the time, you feel like two days have been like, it could have been two hours or whatever.
Starting point is 00:34:11 And then people tend, when you're getting as old as me, 62 years old, you go to this 60th, 70th, 80th, even 90th birthdays. And people usually give these speeches and they say like, all these days and weeks and the years pass by and I didn't really understand that this was life. And the guests feel like, you know, this is really deep, sensitive, you know, speaking. But to me, it's just a sad story
Starting point is 00:34:42 because we had this huge possibility to have a rich life and we're wasting it. But also another apropos of time is talking about spending time in nature. But if you travel from A to B and you take a car and it takes you 20 minutes to drive, you go on the highway and you get, you know, we get to be in 20 minutes,
Starting point is 00:35:06 you feel that you have saved time. But if it happened to walk the same distance, maybe it takes you three hours and you walk on so narrow roads or through a forest over a field, mathematically you have spent a lot more time walking than actually driving the distance. But that's also only part, you know, that's in reality,
Starting point is 00:35:28 I don't find it to be the case. Because when you drive that distance, you don't experience anything. You don't see anything, you don't smell anything, you don't hear anything. You're hard to have time to think about anything. But if you happen to walk instead, and let's say you're walking towards a mountain,
Starting point is 00:35:47 you hear the sounds of some water, you hear the sounds of the wind, you see the colors, you experience the different smells, you experience the wind coming to you on the skin, and you have time to think and somehow the world, space is expanding and time is expanding. While when you drive the same distance, time is narrowing in, space or the world is narrowing in. And eventually when you get to the mountain, it's like, you know, it's almost like reaching a good friend. Yeah. It's really interesting that idea that we think we're saving time by taking the car.
Starting point is 00:36:34 But are we? Are we really? I don't think so. Sometimes yes, but you know, quite often not. And also, I should add, you know, quite often not. And also I should add, you know, quite often when they get to be in a rush, you know, you don't have that much to do at point B. You sit down and look into your phone again.
Starting point is 00:36:57 So it is actually, I don't think, you know, hardly anything in life is 100% meaningless, but it's almost 100% meaningless. Yeah. This idea of time is interesting and how walking changes our perception of time. I heard you say something yesterday in an interview, which really got me to pause and think. Last time you were in LA or certainly one of the times you were in Los Angeles, you walked. But you walked a long distance. Now for people who've never been to LA, I was there a few months ago doing all my book promo, right? It's a very large city. It's not easy to walk. Most people don't walk. It's a very car driven
Starting point is 00:37:41 city. So can you just share your experience because it was really quite fascinating for me to hear this. Together with two friends, Norwegian friends, Petter Skavlan and Peder Lund, we have this project about walking through cities. And we decided to walk from eastern LA, kind of gangland, Cesar Chavez Avenue, way east, walked on Cesar Chavez into Sunset Boulevard and walk all the way Sunset to the ocean. And... Can you give us an idea of what that sort of distance is? It's only like 45, 50 kilometres maybe.
Starting point is 00:38:18 Okay, hold on a minute. I just love the fact that you get... It's only 50 kilometres, right? So your perception, having been to the extremes of the world is different from most people. But we spent three or four days. So it's like, you know, it was physically easy. But what was interesting that you see LA, we kind of seeing everything everyone else is seeing, but it's seeing from a different angle
Starting point is 00:38:45 because you see it from the curb of the road and we see it in slow motion. Because almost everyone is driving and everyone is kind of looking into the next car in the queue all the time. But when you're slowly walking through the city, you see everything in a different way. And our idea was to not leave those two avenues,
Starting point is 00:39:08 stick to the avenues and do whatever we could on the trek. So we went to the church of Scientology at the beginning of the Central Boulevard. We applied for membership, we had 45 minutes interviews each. We had 45 minutes introduction course to Scientology just for fun. And just for something to do. Just so you know, just we did whatever we could do by following those two streets.
Starting point is 00:39:43 And way east in LA, you know, we were stopped by the police, not because we looked like we're going to commit any crime, but because they were just suspicious that, you know, gee guys, we're walking with a tiny backpack each through that part of the city. So hold on, you got stopped by police because walking is so rare in LA that they thought, this is weird.
Starting point is 00:40:05 There's two guys here walking. Especially that part. It's all over LA. It's kind of walking long distances, very exotic, but that part where LA is, you know, lots of crime going on. What did you say to the police? We told him, like we told him the truth that we're three Norwegians that want to explore LA in slow motion. What did they say to that? that between Norwegians that want to explore LA in slow motion. And eventually, eventually one of the police guys said, would you like to take a photo with me?
Starting point is 00:40:31 Which we did. So, no, but it's, it's, it's, it's, it's interesting to see a city in that way. And another time together with a guy called Steve Duncan and Merican, an urban explorer, we went with crisscross New York City through the sewage, train, water and subway tunnels. We started at 242nd Street in Bronx and moved towards the Atlantic Ocean, Jamaica Bay
Starting point is 00:41:05 through the tunnels, sleeping on the ground, getting above ground quite a few times to change tunnels. And sometimes took the Metro, sometimes took a taxi. But for five days, just moving slowly through the city, Alpine style with a little madras, we could sleep on the ground, a little cooker. So that was another great way to see a city from the inside out and what New York would look like if you turn it upside down.
Starting point is 00:41:31 And of course, everything happens to be on the ground is somehow reflected above ground. Yeah. I want to move on to your North Pole expedition in just a moment, but there's two things about what you've said so far about when you walk to the South Pole that I can't get out of my head. Okay. The first thing, this idea that life was actually in some ways quite monotonous when you were walking to the South Pole, but it didn't matter. You shared with me that you actually had some whiskey bottles with you, but you never actually touched them. Can you explain that? Because I think it relates to what you said before about this boredom, right? So you were
Starting point is 00:42:14 saying when you were a kid, you were bored because there was nothing to do. Now people have got this kind of existential boredom because we're just having this kind of low grade stimulation all the time on our screens. And we don't realize we think it's nourishing us, but on a deep level, it's actually starving us. Yeah. Right? Starving us for meaning. Starving us for meaning.
Starting point is 00:42:38 It's brutal. I mean, when you starve something for meanings or meanings in life, not the meaning of life, but you're starving them for meanings in life, that's super brutal. We are in a meaning crisis at the moment. Absolutely. And you know, it's increasing meaning crisis. But I think the only way you get to meaning is through solitude.
Starting point is 00:43:07 I think that's a very good observation. You have to have it. It's brutal, but it's true. Yeah. And I worry about kids these days who are being conditioned from a young age to not have any time alone with their thoughts. I purposefully fight in my house to keep it a low tech house. I don't want high tech in the house.
Starting point is 00:43:33 I say to my wife, I want it to be an analog house, as little digital as possible, because I think that's who we are. We're analog beings trying to live unsuccessfully in an increasingly digital world? I think it's a very good idea. I think as a father, of course I've done many mistakes, but maybe the biggest mistake I did as a father was not to enforce the kids to leave the telephones in the kitchen before they went to bed,
Starting point is 00:43:59 or like, you know, one hour before they went to bed. That's like, you know, that was just stupid. But, you know, they're doing really well now. They're all in their 20s. So, I mean, it's not a catastrophe, but it's like, you know, that was a huge mistake by me. Can you just explain what that sort of simple, almost monotonous life was like
Starting point is 00:44:22 and why you never chose to open those whiskey bottles. First of all, why did you take the whiskey bottles with you? And why did you never end up opening them? I thought to bring this kind of super small, this miniature bottles, I think I had three or four with malt whiskey. I should celebrate when I was halfway, I should celebrate on Christmas Eve, which is a great day in Norway for Christmas. I should celebrate on New Year's Eve with a little whiskey because I thought that would give me satisfaction, which it usually does.
Starting point is 00:44:58 But as I said, after a few days, total solitude, no possibility to communicate with the outside world. You have the same written during the day, you put one leg in front of the other. Technically wise it's easy. You just have to be willing to do it. And of course, the greater challenge every day is to get up in the morning at the right time. That has been the same challenge in polar exploration for hundreds of years. Why is that such a challenge? Because you're a bit exhausted. It could be cold, the North Pole super cold, maybe minus
Starting point is 00:45:31 45, minus 50 in the tent. Hold on, let's just clarify, centigrade. Centigrade, yeah. So that's like, you know, 60 Fahrenheit or something, down to 60 Fahrenheit. So just let me be clear, I got that right. It can be as cold as minus 50 degrees centigrade. To the North Pole, South Pole warmer, but still the ultimate challenge, I think also back home, but you know, still it's much easier is to get up in the morning at the right time every day. And then you do routines, you start walking one leg leg in front of the other, hours, hours, hours,
Starting point is 00:46:07 and your nature, you feel like, you know, when you by yourself is getting even stronger, that you becoming a part of nature, that your body doesn't stop by your fingertips or by your skin, but is extended into nature around you. And you send some ideas out and you got all the thoughts back again. So you have a kind of a communication with nature, not necessarily with words, but more like just emotions, experiences coming back and forth.
Starting point is 00:46:43 And you feel really, really enriched. And for other people, even if you see it from a long distance, you will think you're kind of scared or feel fear a lot. But because it's so much a part of the environment, you don't feel that fear very much. And then again, because life becomes so rich and you're not living through the past, you're not living through the future,
Starting point is 00:47:09 but you're more or less, not all the time, but most of the time, you're present in a moment. And quite often not thinking at all, which is a beautiful experience. And then, as I said, the food is getting better and better every day because you're getting exhausted. But it's the same food. Same food every day.
Starting point is 00:47:29 Which is what were you eating? I ate a lot of oat in the morning that you mix with water you get from melting ice and snow and then formula milk, not ordinary dry milk, but formula milk, it gives more energy per gram. It's all about saving weight. And during the day, oat, fat, formula milk, and maybe some bacon, maybe some chocolate. And the evening, a little bit more of carbohydrates. And dry milk.
Starting point is 00:48:00 But something as bland potentially as oats with water, right? Yeah, yeah. You're saying that day by day, that becomes tastier. Yeah, much tastier. Why? Because you get tired, you get exhausted, and you're craving food, you're craving energy, you're craving healthy food, and you get healthy food. It's real hunger.
Starting point is 00:48:23 It's real. It's like you've earned. Which I think, you know, it was really, it was interesting when I sat down to write the North Pole. You know, then you get down to the origins of gratefulness on an expedition. Because the origins of gratefulness is to become warm after you have been called,
Starting point is 00:48:58 you get full after having been starving and you're having rest after you have been exhausted by moving physically. And those three are something like in other part of the world, most people have forgotten. And I think gratefulness, to be able to feel gratefulness is the key to have a good life. Yeah, that is those three things, right?
Starting point is 00:49:21 That is incredible because warmth after you've been cold, food after you've been starving, rest after you're exhausted. If you just look at the modern Western world at the very least, as you say, these are three things that a lot of people are never really experiencing. And then back to your question, then you don't need a dash of whiskey to get satisfaction or feel well. Yeah. So it's a distraction to drink any whiskey to get any kind of, you know, get intoxicated
Starting point is 00:49:57 in any way when you're feeling, experiencing what you're talking about now. So I end up when I get home to Norway, I still had the bottles and gave them away as presents. There's something so profound in what you just said, right? I felt for many years, why are we so well, let me talk about personal example. I'm very happy eating the same food every day. I have literally no problem with it. In fact, I quite like it. It simplifies life. You don't have to think. My wife has quite a different perspective on that and I'm not saying anyone's right or wrong. She like,
Starting point is 00:50:34 well, we had that yesterday. I want something different tonight. I get that. And again, it could be related to, you know, men and women are different. We have different taste buds. We have a different experience with foods. But I think there's something about the simple life and real simplicity that you must frankly have when you're on these expeditions, because life is just boiled down to the absolute essence of what it means to be alive, right?
Starting point is 00:50:57 Is part of the reason we're struggling with all these addictions and we need a beautifully tasty meal every single day that's different from the day before. Because our life is in some way a little bit tedious, you know, because of maybe all this constant stimulation, like we're not getting that deep nourishment. So we need that from somewhere. So we think we're going to get it from the latest Deliveroo, right? You know, that's, that's how comfortable life can be for humans now,
Starting point is 00:51:27 where you can literally sit in your pajamas, in your bed, do some work if you have a job that enables you to do that. And you don't even have to go and hunt food, gather food. You don't even need to go to the supermarket anymore. You can literally on your app have someone deliver a tasty meal that they've cooked for you. You know, on one level you could say, how incredible are humans that we've created a world
Starting point is 00:51:53 where this is possible, but it's coming at a huge cost, isn't it? It's a progress, really, not really. But I kept on eating porridge made of oat in the morning. And, but for dinner I have variations I kept on eating porridge made of oat in the morning. But for dinner I have variations and I like to cook because of course it's tastier when they cook and it's fresh on the plate. But for me even more important is that
Starting point is 00:52:16 that's kind of one of the times during the day when I actually have to put everything else aside. I get, you know, I buy the raw material, I make an effort that it's as good as possible. And then I cook, maybe it takes me 20 minutes, maybe it takes me 45 minutes an hour. But then I can only think about the cooking. And even when I'm by myself,
Starting point is 00:52:39 because now my kids are moved out, I usually make food for myself because it's a break. It's a meditation. You asked about meditation. It's kind of a meditation to cook. And maybe I just spent 20 minutes eating the food afterwards. But then like, you know, the whole process is good for the soul.
Starting point is 00:52:58 You're by yourself this entire time, right? Yeah. When you go to the South Pole, okay, what's the terrain like? Are you doing what you did with the South Pole, what's the terrain like? What are you doing? What you did with the North Pole, which is, are you on skis and you're pulling something behind you? Yeah. So it's to the North Pole. I went with a friend, Berger Oelsland, to the South Pole. The goal was to be the first in the world doing it alone. And you did that? I did that. Yeah. Are you in the Guinness World Book of Records? Yeah. I'm going to
Starting point is 00:53:24 have to tell my son he'll be so excited. He's been obsessed with that book since he was a kid, like each year wanting to see who's in it. I don't think I asked you this before. Why did you throw the batteries out on the plane? Is it because you didn't trust yourself? You thought if the batteries are in, I'll use the radio? I want to be not able to talk on the radio because of course, if you keep in mind
Starting point is 00:53:49 all the time that I have a possibility to turn on the radio. Even if I'm, you know, I would have been disciplined on this expedition in hindsight, I'm 100% sure or 99% certain. But you'd still be tempted. Exactly. And you have still be tempted. Exactly. And you have it in back of your head, it's a possibility. Well, it's really interesting that because there's been lots of studies which show that even if your smartphone is on the table there,
Starting point is 00:54:14 you don't have it in your hands, some studies have shown that you are using cognitive willpower to not pick that phone up. Exactly. So having it there is not neutral. Your brain is going, no, I'm not picking it up. I'm not picking it up. Which is why for many people, the best thing to do in the evening for sleepers, charge
Starting point is 00:54:33 your phone in a different room. Because if it's in that room, even if you don't pick it up, you're using up energy to not. Absolutely. I love that. The other thing I wanted to ask about the South Pole in particular, after 50 days of complete silence, you mentioned it took a couple of days to get in, but once you were in, you didn't want to talk to anyone. Do you remember the first conversation you had with another human once you've finished.
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Starting point is 00:57:07 to better health today. Ever have one of those days when everything seems to go wrong and before you know it, you've slipped back into those habits you're trying so hard to avoid like sugar, doom scrolling and wine. When it comes to making changes in our lives that actually last, most people think the solution is to try harder, but this is simply not the case. In my new book, Make Change That Lasts, I reveal how exactly you can break free from the habits that hold you back. What many of us don't realise is that our behaviours follow
Starting point is 00:57:45 our beliefs. So when you change your beliefs, and my book will show you how to do that, you'll spend less time having to think about your habits because they'll happen automatically. Make Change At Last, the number one Sunday Times bestseller, is available to buy now all over the world as a paperback, ebook and as an audiobook, which I am narrating. And if you've not got your copy yet, what are you waiting for? I remember it really well actually, because unfortunately I wrote it down, because you know, memory is a tricky thing. So I got to the South Pole, the Americans had built a base at the South Pole. And of course, no one expected me. Why not?
Starting point is 00:58:38 Because, you know, they knew I was walking towards the pole, but they didn't know where I was or what kind of progress I had, or if I was going to make it. So I walked in, I saw the base at a distance, walked towards the point where it's just kind of marked, this is the Reed South Pole. And some Americans came up to the base, and they said, just like if I should have met them in Central Park, like, you know, how are you? And I said, like a pig in shit.
Starting point is 00:59:13 And they were kind of, you know, they didn't even laugh. They're just kind of, what's this? And of course I had the same underwear on for 50 days and 50 nights without taking it off once. So I was like a pig and shit. That those words from you said there were some Americans there. So it wasn't just one person. It was several people. Couple of scientists or people working on the base coming out. Okay. So nice people.
Starting point is 00:59:41 What I'm trying to really understand is when you've had all this silence and all you've heard is nature, were there animals around? No animals. No animals because it's that cold. Yeah. It's also like animals on the coast, but as soon as you're off the coast, there's no animals. Okay. So you, when we say you were alone, you really were alone. Yeah. Right. I didn't see any life at all, not even a bird. So let's say someone's done a prolonged fast, like a 40-hour fast, whatever reason they might choose to do that from foods. We know that you've got to... You can't just suddenly have a full meal, right?
Starting point is 01:00:21 You have to slowly introduce food, right? It sounds like you didn't have that slow introduction. It sounded like you had two very excited Americans to see you. I guess I'm trying to understand what was that like? Was it quite abrasive to your ears because you've had all that silence? Yeah. It took me a while to adapt actually. The Americans at the base were super nice. They offered me a bunk to sleep. I think I maybe I slept there a little bit,
Starting point is 01:00:48 but I pitched my tent outside the base and also spent time in my tent because to get back to civilization was brutal. Why? Because in reality, as I said earlier on, I didn't really miss that much being alone. And I consider myself to be a social person, more social after expedition than prior to expedition,
Starting point is 01:01:14 but also think it's super healthy, as you talked about, to spend time in solitude. Not that you have to spend 50 days and nights in solitude, but somehow you have to find your own North Pole or your own South Pole. And when I suddenly met people, they invite me for a drink, they offered me meals, they asked me to do a little talk about my expedition to people staying at the base.
Starting point is 01:01:39 All this was very, very strange. And also frustrating, I remember I had some really severe pain in my stomach, really painful in my stomach. And that was of course, because I was frustrated. I found it difficult to relate to all these people. Wow. And then today when people walk alone in nature, usually they will have a phone.
Starting point is 01:02:04 Today, when people walk alone in nature, usually they will have a phone. And then it's easy to believe it's easier with the phone than without the phone. My experience is the opposite. Because if you have the phone and you talk every evening before you go to sleep. You talk if you have a wife or a boyfriend or husband, whatever. You talk to your partner every evening. You have to listen to, you know, your partner saying, I love you, I miss you. And if the person doesn't say it, you get suspicious.
Starting point is 01:02:38 And you have to say, I love you, I'm missing you every evening. And then after three weeks, your partner will say something like, you know, the washing machine broke down today. And then you might as well just go home. Because what you want to experience on a certain expedition is the solitude, is to have to face yourself, which is difficult.
Starting point is 01:03:01 You have to look yourself somehow, not literally, but like, you know, we have to face yourself into the eyes, like, you know, who am I? What am I doing? Why am I doing this? You know, what are the, as I said, what are the meanings in life? Not that you get into kind of any deep kind of,
Starting point is 01:03:20 you know, heavy duty conclusions, but you know, you have to live it through, you have to think it through. And if you disturb every day by the outside world, to me, you know, parts of the meaning or parts of the meanings are, some of the meanings are gone. So I think in that sense, I think, you know,
Starting point is 01:03:41 it's easy for me in the old days to do it in solitude, in silence than many people doing it today. Did you have kids when you went on these expeditions? I didn't have kids at that time, no. For both those expeditions? Yeah. I got kids later, but I still had done some expeditions after I got kids. But less risk, less risk. Less risk. So your, so your attitude to risk changed after becoming a father.
Starting point is 01:04:09 Yes. Also, I'm fascinated by solitude and silence. And something I've always wanted to do is one of these one week silent retreats. You do these silent meditations where you don't talk. Right? And then I'll tell you where my head goes. My head goes, I've still got young kids. Should I do that? Like, can I, you know, is it selfish to do that and for my children to not see me or hear from me for seven days. Now, I think you can argue this a whole variety
Starting point is 01:04:46 of different ways, but I'd love your perspective on this. Is it selfish to go away and find yourself in silence when you've got dependents? Not at all. It's egocentric for sure, but not selfish. I find selfish to be a very negative word. But you know, for your kids and in your case, your wife, maybe it's really good for them that your wife are weak.
Starting point is 01:05:14 You know, they get a little bit rest from you. Maybe you can contribute a little bit before and after, and you will come back not as a different person, but a little bit different person. You'll probably come back as a nicer person, a more caring person, a little bit wiser person. So I think it's a good idea. You said it's egocentric, but is it egocentric, right? If, like, you know, you're making the case, right? So some of the ideas I've written down, right?
Starting point is 01:05:46 That you've written about in all your books. Silence is not emptiness, but a gateway to self-discovery. True adventure happens within. Solitude builds resilience and inner strength. Stillness and patience reveal what truly matters. Your best ideas emerge in solitude. The world disappears when you immerse yourself in the present. These are things that I've written down from your books, right? So let's go back to our idea that it's egocentric. I want to challenge
Starting point is 01:06:16 that and go, well, hold on a minute. If going away for a week gives you all these things, if you know, there's a phrase that absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? One of the things people struggle with in the COVID lockdowns was that they were with their partners all the time, right? There wasn't any absence there and it was getting frustrating for many people. Of course. But I guess I'm trying to make the case to you and you're someone who's done this, that it's not egocentric, that actually the selfish thing is sometimes the most selfless thing. If you come back as a better human being, who's calmer, who's more present, who has
Starting point is 01:07:01 a greater appreciation of your wife, of your children, of what truly matters, is it really egocentric? The way you put it, no. But then again, your wife or anyone's partner has to have a kind of a generous attitude to think it's a good idea that partner goes away to be by themselves and nurture their own soul and enrich their lives. So you need some generosity there.
Starting point is 01:07:33 And you need to come back as a different in a positive way person. But then again, I think for most people, that one party goes away for a week, do this, no problem at all. Again, we're underestimating ourselves. And I think you should be, I think almost every relationship partnership
Starting point is 01:07:59 would be much better if they allow that kind of space for the other party. And for me, I wanted my partner to be away for a week or two weeks or four weeks to experience what we're talking about because I want her back again as an even greater person. You know, last November, just to be clear, I didn't do any meditation retreats or I didn't hike to anywhere exciting. I went to, for two weeks to America, 10 days in LA, three, four days in Austin to do interviews
Starting point is 01:08:31 around my last book, right? So I was quite busy and exploring those ideas on microphones on different shows. But even that, when I came home, I had a newfound appreciation for my life. I really had a newfound appreciation for my wife, for my children, for the house in which I live. And so I think there is something quite powerful here, even if you're not doing some wild hike and going to the ends of the earth. Absolutely. Right? So let's just land this silence plane for people. And before we move on to the ends of the earth. Absolutely. Right. So let's just land this silence plane for people. And before we move on to the North Pole, right. You don't need to go to the North Pole to find
Starting point is 01:09:11 silence. Absolutely not. So how can someone who's listening to this, who considers themselves very busy, who says, I don't have time, Erling, how can I get silence in my everyday life? What, what do you say to them? First of all, you're wrong. You have time. Maybe not much time, but everyone has five or 15 minutes for silence. And keep in mind that the most important silence is within. I think, you know, we can be standing at the busiest crossroad in the UK, Piccadilly Circus in London, and you can still find and discover and rediscover your own inner silence. It's there all the time, waiting for you to explore it.
Starting point is 01:09:56 So, and then it's a cliché, but you know, you need to leave your phone somehow, you need to relax, you can walk, you can sit down and you can stand in the shower. You can walk the stairs instead of taking the lift. You can walk to three stations or the Metro instead of taking the Metro. And you will discover inner silence. And as I said earlier on,
Starting point is 01:10:22 to begin with, it's quite often uncomfortable. That's why people avoid it. Yeah. There's something quite interesting about this external silence versus the internal silence, right? So as you said there, you can be in a busy place, but still connect with that inner silence that's always there. At the same time, we can contrast that with you on these expeditions where there
Starting point is 01:10:45 is silence all around you, but for the first two to three days, you have no inner silence. Right? There's all this noise, right? So I think that's quite a beautiful concept for us to think about. External silence versus inner silence. And yeah, I completely agree. I mean, I think, you know, walking is one of those interesting ones where through the motion of movement, although it's not still because you're moving, you can become still on the inside, can't you, through the movements? Absolutely, absolutely.
Starting point is 01:11:17 So, you know, that's, I think, really important to keep in mind. The silence is there all the time. And also important to keep in mind, the silence is there all the time. And also important to keep in mind that your silence is different from my silence. We all have our own silences. And the reason because of course silence is you. So it has to be different.
Starting point is 01:11:37 And also like walking, it's like Hippocrates, the founder of modern medicine, his advice was, advice number one was to have a healthy life, was walk, take a walk. And of course at that time it was healthy for your body, but also healthy for your soul. You were in silence.
Starting point is 01:12:02 And if you don't feel better after one walk, advice number two was take another walk. And his third advice was whatever you do, make sure the doctor doesn't give you the wrong medicines. Yeah. And it holds up after more than 2000 years. Yeah. He knew what he was talking about for sure.
Starting point is 01:12:20 Yeah. I think all wisdom that had lasted for more than a thousand years, you should take it really seriously. Now you've also said something in this conversation that I'm going to challenge. That's good. In a good way. You said, you know, when we go to silence, we learn things about ourselves, but nothing that profound.
Starting point is 01:12:37 And I thought, wait a minute, wait a minute, you know, you're an explorer, but I would argue you're a deep thinker, you're a philosopher, because the wisdom in these books is really quite profound. So you sent me your very latest book last week, right? Not only has it got this gorgeous cover, that's you, isn't it? That's me taking a photo of my partner Berger and walking towards the North Pole. Yeah, what's interesting, when you look at this cover, it looks for me, I thought, oh, wait a minute, I thought he was scared.
Starting point is 01:13:09 This looks like it's water and an ocean, but then I thought, oh, this is ice. It's ice floating on the ocean. Yeah, it's a pretty incredible photo, first of all, but the forward to the book is like, I don't know, I mean, you maybe can't say it about yourself. I'm gonna say it for you. It is just wisdom. Every single word is just almost like this deep, deep wisdom that you compressed into a forward.
Starting point is 01:13:36 Right, so this is what I'm gonna challenge you on, right? You have discovered some quite profound things. You say, oh, you know, you learn a few things about yourself. No, I think you've, I think you've learned the secrets of life, right? And you finished the forward with this. Do you mind if I read it to you? Please do.
Starting point is 01:13:55 Okay. I've underlined the last time. I'm going to read the whole last paragraph, okay? I have walked, skied, climbed and sailed in many parts of the world. I've been able to compare all the mountains, plateaus, forests, planes and oceans I have seen with somewhere else. But I've only experienced one place that is unlike anywhere else, the North Pole. Because when I finally got there, I realized there was no there, there.
Starting point is 01:14:28 I mean, come on, if that isn't the secret to life, what is? The destination doesn't exist. Success doesn't exist. It's all this, it's like, can you just elaborate what you mean by that? When you got there, you realized there was no there. What does that mean? It means, you know, it means many things. It means the, you know, the banal thing is,
Starting point is 01:14:57 but of course if you take the banal seriously, it's not banal anymore. But the banal is, I had this huge obsession, of course, being an explorer, you need to be obsessed. I had this huge obsession, together with Berger and many other people, to get to the North Pole, to walk all the way to the North Pole.
Starting point is 01:15:18 And of course, we're all born explorers, so every baby is an explorer in their mind. If you look at the baby, first thing a baby will do is to stretch off the arms, stretch off the legs in four different directions and shriek for space and air. And then after a year, the same baby will leave the house
Starting point is 01:15:42 and start to wonder what's between he or she and the horizon. So that's kind of how we were born. That spirit never goes away. It can be somewhere between 0.1 and 99.9. It's all degrees. So it's like, you know, as long as you're alive, you have this spirit of exploration.
Starting point is 01:16:00 But for me, of course, it was super strong. And we had this dream, we prepared for years to get to the North Pole. We walked for 58 days and suffering a lot, starving, being exhausted, frostbites. And it was my whole life. It was like a true love story. I was totally in love with the idea of getting to the North Pole. And when we eventually got there, it was nothing there.
Starting point is 01:16:32 It's no there, there. And it was just floating ice. The Arctic Ocean is the fifth biggest ocean in the world, covered by ice, mostly some open leads. The colors are variations of gray, white and blue. And then the horizon. And it's almost exactly the same what you see at the North Pole
Starting point is 01:16:55 as you see a couple of hundred kilometers away. So it's just an idea. I'm gonna stand at the pole a few hours later because the ice is moving all the time. You are somewhere else. But what's special with the North Pole is many things. It's on top of the globe. The wind comes from the South.
Starting point is 01:17:14 It's blowing towards the South. All the longitudes come together at the top of the world. So it doesn't really have a position. It has latitudes, but it doesn't have a position So it doesn't really have a position. It has latitudes, but doesn't have a position because it doesn't have a longitude. The sun has the same angle above the horizon for 24 hours. It need to go up or down above the horizon. And you have, of course, one day and one night in one year.
Starting point is 01:17:39 So you have six months of sun, six months of darkness at the North Pole. So it is a place of mystery. It has always been a place of mystery all the way from prehistoric times when people started to speculate about the North Pole. It was mysterious, but still today, later today, if you check Google Maps, Google World Map,
Starting point is 01:18:02 you will see that the North Pole is not on the map because they're not able to, the algorithms and engineers at Google, they're not able to get the North Pole on the map. Why? Because the globe of course is three dimensional and the map is an abstraction of the world. It's flat, it's on the two dimensional and then they're not able to figure out,
Starting point is 01:18:29 so far, maybe one day they will, how to put the point of the earth, or the two points of the earth, the North Pole and the South Pole, where all the longitudes come together. So it just remains very elusive. And that's also why I wrote this in the foreword. When I got there, we, Børge and I, we kind of rediscovered the North Pole.
Starting point is 01:18:54 It was nothing there, there, no. It seems to be a metaphor for many different things. Like we know this classic story of hedonic adaptation with humans where we think that getting the promotion is going to make us feel good. Then you work hard, you work hard, you work hard, you get the promotion and then it's like, oh. It feels good for a while though, good for a few minutes or a few days. Yeah, but not for a few weeks or a few months, usually for most people, for most things. And that's why I think that final word of the forward
Starting point is 01:19:29 is just so profound. When I finally got there, I realized there was no there, there. It's that whole ancient philosophical idea of journey over destination, process over outcome, right? Everywhere you go, but I'd never thought about it through the lens of the North Pole, right? So for the last few mornings at breakfast,
Starting point is 01:19:55 I'd been relaying something from this book to my children. I'm like, guys, you'll never believe what I read last night. So I'll tell you this morning, what was relaying to them was the bits that you just mentioned about these, all the lines of longitude meet there. Which I never really thought about. So this idea that you're at the North Pole and you can literally walk around following
Starting point is 01:20:16 the sun and you are literally traveling through time. I was saying to them, you know, he can just walk a few... Half a minute to travel the world and a 24 hours time zone. Yeah. So he can go into yesterday. Exactly. And he can go forward. Yeah. In the same minute. Right. But then that plays into what we were talking about before, right? About time, right? Time, calendar time, clock time is a human construct. Cause of course you're a human being at this point in earth and you're just walking.
Starting point is 01:20:55 But we're saying it's time travel because you're walking through different lines of longitudes that we as humans have specified. But it's not real, it's a human construct. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's counter to what we experience. Yeah, and it goes back to walking. Walking changes your perception of time
Starting point is 01:21:18 and the environment around you, right? And I mean, it's really quite something, isn't it? I mean, you said in the kitchen, you said, you know, we assume these things, we say these things, the sun always rises in the east. Yeah. You're saying that's not true. It's just not true, because it's, you know, it's, people have this kind of idea that what has happened so far every day or every week or every hour in my life will keep on happening. And the most common example is
Starting point is 01:21:47 the sun will always rise in the East. But when you're at the North Pole, close to the North Pole or the South Pole, as I said, the sun neither rises or sets or does it once a year. So it's not true. It doesn't rise every morning from the East. And if you're in space,
Starting point is 01:22:05 you can have 16 sunrises in 24 hours. So, yeah, so it's this thing with time is being linear. It's a good idea for every country's gross national product that people have a watch and appear at the office of where we work every day at the right time. So I'm not negative to it. But then again, I think, you know, just to be aware of what you're saying that time is not linear.
Starting point is 01:22:37 It's really important. There's no clocks in the studio. No. That's all done intentionally. I didn't think about it through the lens of the North Pole and what you write about. But that whole thing about solitude and silence and how when you go to the South Pole, it's going to take two or three days for the noise to switch off in your mind before you can access the inner silence. Those kids with the smartphones, the first two to three days without them and their laptops,
Starting point is 01:23:09 they're a bit tense before they can feel the calm. I kind of feel that's how I see this podcast in many ways. That's why I believe long form conversation is so important, right? Because I think what happens at the start, let's say we talk for two hours, I would say for the first 20 minutes, we're both aware there's a mic on. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:23:33 And we're recording. And I'm a little bit nervous, not nervous, but like, you know. Yeah, but at some point, you're loosening up. We just forgot, and we're just chatting as if we're just having coffee together, right? It's the same principle. And I saw this tweet yesterday on X about, it was about books. Saying, what's the point in books?
Starting point is 01:23:57 Just get AI to give you a summary, right? So you know the key points. But the tweet was brilliant because the guy was saying that, yeah, but that's if you believe that the only thing that's important about a book is the information that it gives you, which it isn't. It's the experience, right? It's the journey you go on as you acquire that information. And so through the lens of this podcast, it's not about the information you get directly. Someone out at the moment is out on a long run or a walk listening to this conversation. And I think the power is the insights that they get about their life through us having a conversation rather than me delivering
Starting point is 01:24:40 or you delivering direct actionable insights. it's the journey they go on. Do you know what I mean? Absolutely. And this is again, you know, what we talked about a little bit before today is about making life a little bit more difficult because you can have a novel, you're curious about the novel, maybe a school, you have to do something, you're going to a dinner party, you want to talk about the book or book club, whatever reading circle, and you get the extract through AI or Wikipedia, whatever. That's the easy one.
Starting point is 01:25:11 But if you actually have to sit down and spend five evenings reading the same book, then you really benefit from reading the book. So it's a little bit more difficult, time consuming, but you know, it's the only meaningful way to go. I want to talk about polar bears and fear. Okay, so this is another story I've been talking to the kids about. So when you were relaying your expedition to the South Pole early on today, you said something which you wrote about on the North Pole as well, which I found just profound this idea that after a few days, there's no separation anymore between you and the environment. You become the environment.
Starting point is 01:25:59 And of course, many of us never experienced that. I'm sure a lot of ultra runners, you know, you know, long as it's running is, is, is growing in popularity. And that. I'm sure a lot of ultra runners, you know, long as it's running is growing in popularity. And I'm sure one of the reasons why is you start to escape life a little bit and you start to connect with parts of yourself that you just don't get to connect with in your day-to-day life. But of course that can be a long walk or whatever it might be, right? But you also said that you don't feel fear because you're part of the environment or something to that effect. I found that really interesting. Much less fair because like climbing Everest, kind of almost falling off a cliff, but it's
Starting point is 01:26:36 just still a part of you. So you kind of, you know, you just kind of, it's kind of organic, the whole thing, you and the nature, everything, you know, it's like, if my mother had seen me walking to the North Pole, crossing a huge open lead in the ice. What's an open lead? Open lead like the ice is breaking apart and then you have water, open water between two ice floes.
Starting point is 01:27:02 Oh, wow. And it's, the ocean stream, 1000 meters deep. So if you. And the ocean is 3000 meters deep. So if you fall into the water with a sled, you're in deep shit. And then you know, you're just- I eat dead. At least it's really dangerous. But then because you're part of the ice,
Starting point is 01:27:18 you're part of the snow, you're part of the wind, you're part of the water, it's, you kind of feel comfortable. But if my mother had seen me, almost falling off a cliff at Everest or crossing this open water towards the North Pole, she would be scared like shit. But when you're there, you call.
Starting point is 01:27:42 And it's important that polar explorers not going to the North Pole because they don't have fear, they're doing it despite the fear. Of course, everyone has fear about this kind of environment. But then the fear kind of slowly disappears. I love talking to people like you or monks or people who've gone to these sort of so-called extremes of life, because I think that's where we learn the real truth about what it is to be a human being. Right? So I've spoken to many monks on this podcast over the years. I love chatting to monks. I've realized. You know, we should, you know, maybe, you know, maybe not become monks,
Starting point is 01:28:17 but it's something really deep. When they go away, they, when they leave the kind of routine and hecticness of day-to-day life and sit in silence, right, with their routines and rituals, I think they discover things that we can learn without needing to go to a monastery, right? And I think through your journey, we can learn things that we can apply in our life without needing to go to the North Pole or the South Pole, right? our life without needing to go to the North Pole or the South Pole, right? But this idea that we can be at one with our environment is something that spiritual teachers will talk about, that we are one, we're not separate, right? But I've never heard an explorer talk about it like that. So that's really interesting to me. And then relaying that to a polar bear,
Starting point is 01:29:03 I'd love you to tell us about your experience with a polar bear and shooting a polar bear, I'd love you to tell us about your experience with a polar bear and shooting a polar bear. But also you write later on in the book about other explorers. I think it was a pair who went and they reported shooting a polar bear, which was primed to attack them. And you actually talk about this description when you're reading about the other explorers, that it sounds as though they were really calm.
Starting point is 01:29:31 It's almost unbelievable, but you said, I actually believe them. I think they could have been this calm because they were at one with their environment. So can you talk to me about polar bears and fear and how that all plays together? Yeah, Berge and I, very close to the North Pole, like 200 kilometers south of the pole. Søndag heard Børge shouting, hoi!
Starting point is 01:29:53 And I never heard him shout that before. So I looked up and saw this polar bear at 20, 22, 24 meters away. And it was coming towards us, stopped. And we were well prepared, we knew how polar bears could act when they suddenly saw some people. And that's like, or something you could possibly chase and eat.
Starting point is 01:30:20 And so the bear stopped and then start to walk a little bit back and forth, which we expected to do. So we dived into the sledges, found our Magnum 44s, his handguns. We really short barreled because we had to save weight. It's all about saving weight because you're bringing everything you need for a couple of months on the sled. Food, everything.
Starting point is 01:30:42 Everything. Tent, sleeping bag, mattress. And then, so it was too far away for us to fire, but we knew it was going to charge because this far north is it nothing to eat but polar explorers. So it was kind of no doubt for us. But then Børge figured out, he was thinking national geographic. Today that sounds silly, but at the time, we read national geographic because in the old days,
Starting point is 01:31:15 that was the only information we got to Norway, most places on earth, about the expeditions, different places, in caves, in the mountains, to the poles, et cetera. Yeah, pre-internet, right? Exactly, exactly. So that was huge every month to get that magazine. So he thought, this is my chance to get my photos published in National Geographic. While the bear was standing there around 20 meters away.
Starting point is 01:31:40 So he grabbed his camera. He didn't have a film in the camera. This was the time he had to put the film in the camera. Dropped his gun, got the film into the camera. You had a gun at the time. Yeah, I had a gun and he had a gun, but he dropped the gun and then he talked me into standing between himself and the bear, waving, waving with a gun.
Starting point is 01:31:59 Are you scared at this point? You know, it's, I don't feel any fear at all. Wow. You're totally calm. Take the gun, but of course I said to him, we need to shoot the bear first. And he said, no, no, no, I take a photo like this. So I stand up like this for a few seconds,
Starting point is 01:32:16 take it like this. And he take the photo with the bear in the background. And then the bear stops turning towards us, start to dig his forefeet into the snow, lower his head. And we knew it was going to charge. And of course- But that's what they do.
Starting point is 01:32:31 They lower their heads, start digging their- Yeah, at least, you know, that's a sure sign it's going to- So ready to attack. Kind of ready to attack, speed up towards you. And Berger of course dropped the camera. We jumped a little bit aside to frustrate the bears who were not staying too close to each other. And we had to waitrate the bears who were not staying too close to each other. And we had to wait until the bear was really close.
Starting point is 01:32:49 Why did you have to wait? Because if not, we were not able to do that short barrel and also with a handgun, it's super difficult to hit the bear. Is it really? 20 meters away, almost impossible because the bullet goes off like in circles and then not the right direction.
Starting point is 01:33:06 So you have to wait this really close and the bear can run up to 40 miles and over, 60 kilometers and over. So Can I just pause you there, right? This is mind-blowingly interesting for me. Right. So first of all, you're saying you're feeling no fear, right? Because you've acclimatized, you're part of the environment, you are one with everything around you. Then you see this bear, you know, and then you can see that the bear is ready to attack and harm you and maybe... Not harm us, kill us and eat us.
Starting point is 01:33:37 Kill you and eat you. No doubt about that. Both of us. And so you have to wait until they're nearby because you've only bought a magnum with you, not a rifle, because you need to save weight. So you can't risk shooting when it's far away. Are you still feeling no fear as they're charging towards you? Or a little bit, or would you describe it as I'm just aware of the environment and I'm focused? I'm just aware of the environment and I'm focused. It's...
Starting point is 01:34:09 Børge and me, we were suppressing the fear. Because as soon as you feel fear, you start to get irrational. So you have to be super rational if a bear is going to kill you and eat you. So I didn't feel any fear. Børge didn't feel any fear. I mean, he wanted to take a photo, etc. So, we were pretty cool. The bear came towards us, around 8 meters away. We both fired. 8 meters? Yeah. And then, you know, 35, 40 kilometers maybe an hour coming towards you. So, it's
Starting point is 01:34:43 just, you know, you have one shot each. Why have you only got one? Because if you miss, the bear's got you. I mean, at least you have to be really quick with the trigger if you're going to have a second shot. And you hit the bear and what? The bear just falls. After a few seconds I fell.
Starting point is 01:35:04 But then, then you feel the fear. The fear you had the whole time because we were super afraid. They could kind of suppress all those feelings. So you can get the job done. You do what needs to be done. Also because we're part of everything around us.
Starting point is 01:35:22 So it kind of felt just normal to, but then afterwards, then I understood, I have been super afraid the whole time. So then we were shaking for half a minute, something. I cut maybe a minute and then, you know, shaking, like this was not, yeah, just all, like, you know, just shaking our heads because and then we checked that the property
Starting point is 01:35:49 that the bear was dead. And then we took photos of the bear from all angles because most people who claim to have killed a polar bear in self-defense, hit it in the back, hit it in the arse. And of course, that's not really a self-defense because the bear is turning away from you. So we want to prove beyond any doubt that we hit it only in the chest.
Starting point is 01:36:15 As an act of self-defense. Yeah, self-defense. And I think it's important to make that point and you make that in the book that you're not a fan of killing animals. Not at all. I don't like to kill anything. Yeah, in the book you write very not a fan of killing animals. Not at all. I don't like to kill anything. Yeah. In the book you write very respectfully, I'm in their environments.
Starting point is 01:36:29 So you're saying that the only reason you guys killed that bear is because if not, they would have, it would have killed you. Yeah. So, so, so self-defense. Yeah. So I would never ever killed. I don't even like to, you know, kill birds, growls and, you know, Can I just ask, you know, you took these photos to prove that actually it wasn't self-defense. You're in the middle of nowhere, right?
Starting point is 01:36:53 Do you need photos to prove? What I'm saying is if you just moved on and continued on your expedition, would anyone have ever known? No, no. So why did you then need to get evidence? It's a protected animal. I see.
Starting point is 01:37:11 And... Oh, in case anyone found the dead thing later. No one would find a dead animal. It's way off on the ice. That was super unlikely. But you kill a protected animal. You want to see the right thing. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:37:26 And you want it to be absolutely no doubt. It was a matter of who's having who for dinner. And even Gandhi wrote that, you know, if a lion attacks you or your family, you should kill the lion. Yeah. So I think we're totally correct. Like, you know, of course I've always met some people who think, you know, we should,
Starting point is 01:37:47 you know, let the bear live on. But this goes back, this is a really interesting point, right? About the disconnection we have from our environment and even our food supply, right? And I really, I've been thinking about this for years, but I really noticed it last summer. I've spoken about this before when I was in Kenya with my family and we went on a safari. That's great. That's one of the best vacations I ever had with my kids. I was scared before going to be clear, but it was life-changing. And just to see the wild and the circle of life
Starting point is 01:38:27 and how it actually occurs in nature. I don't know, it was, I guess to someone who's grown up with this, they might find it quite obvious to me, it was really was quite profound to go, well, I kind of get it, you know? And you're saying you're in that environment where it's who's eating who for dinner. But okay, so you take photos to prove,
Starting point is 01:38:44 should anyone ask you that this was in self-defense. And then it was quite interesting that, because you guys are really hungry all the time, right? But you didn't, so tell me about your decision to not eat straight away. Yeah, you know, we had 6,000 calories per day to eat, but we're still starving and we're getting thinner and thinner and eventually, you know, the body fat is gone.
Starting point is 01:39:10 And you also start to, you know, burn off muscle mass, which is unhealthy and also not a good idea if you're going to ski all day. So it really kind of down when it got close to the pole, but we want to do it unsupported, which meant like no depots, no dogs, no air supply, like, you know, just dragging everything. You did the South Pole first, right?
Starting point is 01:39:33 Now first South Pole after the North Pole. Okay, so this is, how old were you when you did the North Pole? 27. Wow, think back to what I was doing in my 20s. I think, wow, I wasn't doing North and South Pole. But okay, at 27, so you're with your buddy. You want to be the first pair to go to the North Pole unsupported. Exactly.
Starting point is 01:39:55 And are you in the Guinness Book of Records for that? Yeah, I'm pretty sure I am. Great. I love how you're not even related to that. There is no destination. There is no there, right? I think I checked it when I wrote the book actually, that we are actually in the Guinness World Record. This word unsupported is key. For us it was key. Because at that time, National Geographic again,
Starting point is 01:40:17 in three years before, four years before, this French explorer, Jean-Louis Etienne, he walked or skied to the North Pole with supplies. And he said, maybe one day it will be possible for someone to reach the pole without all the supplies I had. And that's when we want to do it. Some Canadians want to do it.
Starting point is 01:40:39 Some Koreans want to do it. Some Russians want to do it. And Sir Randall Fiennes from United Kingdom wanted to do it. So it became a kind of race to be the first to do it. And Sir Randall Fiennes from United Kingdom wanted to do it. So it became a kind of race to be the first to do this. And Ran, as we called him, he's told us beforehand that like, of course the rules are kind of unclear. So he said, if you kill an animal and eat animal,
Starting point is 01:41:04 that's a kind of support. I disagreed. But, you know, we want to be no doubt that we have stick to like, you know, not done anything. Oh, so you didn't want to risk it. Exactly. So you had, you had fresh meat that would have nourished your starving body and your, um, your muscles that started to disintegrate because you're not feeding your body enough. But because you wanted there to be no doubt that you got there unsupported, you chose not to eat it. Yeah, but we took a few steaks with us.
Starting point is 01:41:35 And when it got to the pole, we eat those steaks. Oh, so you did it unsupported. Yeah, but at the pole, we celebrated with bear steaks. Wow. But it didn't taste that good, did it? No, no. Because it's polar bears, they can, you know, they can have this trictin, this kind of parasites in the meat.
Starting point is 01:41:55 And it's hard to see them. And, you know, we were unsure. So we had to, we boiled the meat and we fried the meat. But at that time we were so super hungry, starving. So we ate the meat and afterwards all the oil that came out of the meat when we cooked it, we just drank it as water, kind of 100% fat. But what was interesting again,
Starting point is 01:42:22 back to what you talked about about time, that when we were at the pole and we're going to eat this kind of great meal, I want to just dig in and eat it all right away. Børge, my partner, he said, no, let us just wait 10 seconds. Let us count to 10 slowly and then eat. And of course then it tasted even better.
Starting point is 01:42:49 Wow. But I should also add, like, because I mentioned Randall Fiennes, we were competing to the South Pole, to the North Pole. And we became kind of, we're unfriendly terms. Unfriendly. unfriendly terms. Unfriendly. Unfriendly, yeah, because we're competing. But then that's a beautiful life, years pass by,
Starting point is 01:43:16 and then we become friends. And I think it's important, you know, all this grudge, all this kind of, you know, whatever you have from early in life, kind of negativity to a person, get rid of it. So we ran to now, he's not well anymore, he's a legend. And when I asked him to blur my book, you know, the North Pole, he replies within minutes, I'd love to do it.
Starting point is 01:43:40 Wow. That's so lovely to hear. Yeah, exactly. So, you know, you have to, you know, it's all wisdom again. You have to get on with your life. You have to move on. You sometimes hear this with athletes who were super competitive in their careers. And then once they retired from competing, they become the best of friends. Exactly. Which is great. It's great. Yeah. So while they're competing, they can't be, or they perceive that they can't be, and later they can.
Starting point is 01:44:09 There's another bit in the forward that really got me thinking, okay? And again, if you don't mind, I want to read a part of it to you. You know, it's always strange for an author, you may be experienced yourself to as an author, to hear someone else is reading what you have written. Yeah. Because I think, you know, when you write something,
Starting point is 01:44:32 at least for me, to make it into, you know, good literature or great literature, you kind of escaping yourself. So sometimes when I hear something I have written, maybe not this, you have to listen first, I'm surprised that I actually written this. Yeah. It's also, before I read this, it also reminds me of what a lot of artists say is that when they write a song and then they release the song, the song is
Starting point is 01:45:05 no longer theirs. Right? So they had an idea in mind when they wrote that song and recorded it. But a lot of artists who I follow and I, I've always been fascinated by music and listening to interviews with artists. It's not mine anymore. I realized that everyone interprets that song differently. And I kind of feel I'm going to read something to you now, but maybe it wasn't the way you intended it, but this is my interpretation. So here it is. My hope was to be respected by the person I respected most and to learn more about him,
Starting point is 01:45:40 to deepen our bonds by freezing, starving, struggling and experiencing great danger. My father's dark shadow loomed over my expedition, though I never told him this and find it hard to admit even to myself. Our journey, so your journey to the North Pole, was an iteration of the oldest story in the world. The son who wants to know his father and be loved by him. Yeah, that's true. What does that mean? Why does your desire to be loved by your father lead you
Starting point is 01:46:19 to going on a life-threatening expedition to the North Pole? threatening expeditions of the North Pole? I grew up in a home when it was very macho, very masculine values. So for my two brothers and me, the huge thing, the way to get respect in the weekends and the evenings in the week was to ski far, walk far, being in nature, pushing yourself, maybe putting up a record. That was kind of how to get respect at home. And of course, every son, almost every son,
Starting point is 01:47:02 I don't know anyone who doesn't have, has been struggling with a father. Like the father and son relationship is the most, probably the most complicated in the world. And of course, also the father is struggling with his son or his sons. And this is like, you know, it was certainly the case in my household,
Starting point is 01:47:23 in our household, but when you look back in history, with the Old Testament, with the Bible, it wouldn't have been much to read in the Bible if fathers and sons had a good relationship. I mean, it's a kind of one clear red line through the Old Testament and the New Testament, father and son issues. And when you read, like I had a difficult time
Starting point is 01:47:47 learning how to read and write because I was heavily dyslectic. So my mother and father, they read books for me when I was a kid. And my mother read Homer's Odyssey. And she read it for me. And of course, the first four parts of that book is not about, it's about the son, Telemachus,
Starting point is 01:48:10 the first 20 years of his life, he has not seen his father. Or maybe he saw just after he was born, like a few months, but then for 20 years, he has not known his father. And for every kid, the biggest mystery in life, one of the biggest mysteries in life is who their parents were before they were born.
Starting point is 01:48:30 And for Telemachus is also after he was born. So he leaves his home and sails the oceans to learn about his father, to see if the father is alive, to see what experience what the father has been experiencing and maybe also, you know, to get to know his father. So that's one of the oldest stories ever. And to me, that's kind of the original written history on exploration.
Starting point is 01:49:01 And to my great surprise, when I did research on my book, I also discovered that almost every North Pole explorer had a difficult relationship with their father or their father disappeared. With Ran, his father died as a soldier while Ran was still in the womb of his mother. And I talked to Rand about this many, many, many years ago. And the way I remember the conversation was that he said
Starting point is 01:49:33 he would never ever have become an explorer if it wasn't for the loss of his father and he had to compensate and like, you know, live a life to kind of match his father, live up to his father's ideals. So that was also the case for me. I had a very complicated relationship to my father, but fortunately, and you know, a fun thing today,
Starting point is 01:49:57 maybe not at the time, when I got home from the North Pole, Berg and I, we succeeded. We got to the pole, it was a huge success. People are impressed because of course, one of the many reasons you walk into the North Pole is to get recognition. You want to impress. It's maybe not sympathetic.
Starting point is 01:50:15 I don't think it's unsympathetic, but some people find it unsympathetic. But anyway, that's one of the reasons people are doing this. But I met my father. He said, I think it's ridiculous to walk to the North Pole. And by the way, your brother is more fit than you. So he should have done it. But then today, or, you know, some years later,
Starting point is 01:50:44 I forgave my father everything. He forgave me everything and we became great friends. And fortunately today he's become an old man, but fortunately he managed to read the North Pole before he got too old. And he really like, you know, I was wondering what he would say, you know, to read my version of this story, but fortunately he appreciated it because, of course, he also found me to be a difficult person.
Starting point is 01:51:18 Yeah. I wonder what it was like for him to read that paragraph that I just read to you. Yeah, but I think he felt it enriching because like life kind of his life and my life came together because my verse is not that he was bad and I was good. I mean, we were two complicated persons in a family and kind of over history was of course unique, but it's very similar to millions and millions of other stories. So I think in general, I think if wives or girlfriends or fiancés, whatever, use a little effort to understand this father and son relationship, they would have a better relationship quite
Starting point is 01:52:04 often to their partner. That is so profound. I mean, there's a couple of things about that story about the father-son relationship, which I think are interesting for me. One is I kind of feel that society very much is trying to make men and women the same. And it was only when I became a parent that I really deeply understood that we're different. You know, we play a different role, let's say with our children, in the certain things the kids want their mother for, the certain things the kids want their father for. I also recognize that every family is different, there's different dynamics, okay? So these are broad generalizations. But this thing of the father-son story, the reason why I really pause on this, because I thought, hmm, our journey was an iteration of the oldest
Starting point is 01:52:56 story in the world, the son who wants to know his father and my son? And of course I'm not him, right? So I can't tell you what he's thinking, but I think I've got a pretty awesome relationship with him. But it just made me think as a dad, you know, if it had gone on for such a long time, it's not going to be a way in modern generation. But of course, over generation, much closer to other kids than over parents' generation. Oh, you mean things are changing in society? For the better. Like my father was not, you know, he was not welcome to be present when my mother gave birth to her three sons or his three sons. Whenever he went to some doctor or you know, nurse going to check his sons, when they were kids, babies,
Starting point is 01:53:47 he was looked upon as almost like a stranger because it was a man doing it. So you were estranged for your kid the first couple of years of the kid's lives. So it was difficult at that time, much more difficult at that time to relate to a kid. So I think we are very fortunate as fathers that we can be closer to the mother,
Starting point is 01:54:08 closer to the kids early on and also taking responsibility for the kids early on. But then again, you know, it's as a generalization, it's like the mother usually loves her kids in a way. I know my mother will love me even if I became a murderer, whatever I would do, my mother would love me. And it's also this, maybe I quote it wrong, but this poem by I think it's Kipling,
Starting point is 01:54:39 mother of mine, mother of mine, I know whose love will follow me still even if I was hanged from the highest hill. But of course, with your father, you're not that certain. Today I'm certain my father loves me, but for many years, not so clear. Wow. I think so much to think about. You're an explorer, writer, philosopher, giving some pretty good parenting advice as well. There is just so much wisdom in these books. I've been wanting to talk to you since I met you in Oslo a few years ago when we didn't have a static meeting.
Starting point is 01:55:20 You insisted we go for a walk. You took me around Oslo and stopped for coffee. It was wonderful. We had a great coffee, remember? We did. Tim Wendelbood was one of the best places on earth actually to have a coffee. Well, and we were chatting before about you invited me to Norway to go on an adventure with you, which I'm going to try and take you up on later this year if I can.
Starting point is 01:55:38 You know, back to your question again. You can. Yeah. Of course. It's not even selfish. It's not even selfish as we just interrogated. Exactly. There are other things I wanted to talk about, but people can read about them in your books. Movement being the antidote to overthinking, pain and struggle create meaning.
Starting point is 01:56:00 The present moment is the exit from negative thoughts. Meaning is not something waiting to be discovered, but something we build through our choices and our mindset. Lots of powerful ideas penetrate all of these books. I'd highly encourage people to pick them up. I think they're brilliant. The new one, of course, is the North Pole, the history of an obsession where you detail your obsession, some of the things we've been talking about, what the journey was like, the whole history, the fact that there are four North Poles, not just one, which I found really, really interesting. But to finish up this conversation, Erling, there's a lot of people who listen to my podcast because they feel stuck in life.
Starting point is 01:56:43 They feel a bit lost as if their lives don't have meaning, they're lacking purpose and they don't know where to go. With all of your wisdom, with all of these expeditions that you've been on, for someone who's struggling right now in their life, what would you say to them? It's a tough one because as I said earlier on, you know, our lives are quite alike and our problems are quite similar, but still it's unique. So you know, to give general advice is difficult because as you also have, I have deep respect for every human, also every human who's struggling. But what I said earlier on,
Starting point is 01:57:28 I think most humans are underestimating themselves. From early on in life, like you told, you can't draw and you believe you can't draw the rest of your life. You love surrender, you believe, et cetera. And this goes through from childhood, teenage years into adult life and all this, you know, kind of negativity shapes you.
Starting point is 01:57:53 So somehow you have to break free of it, not all of it, but parts of it. And I think, you know, like to move, to walk, I think, you know, like to move, to walk, move, moving, being moved, as we talked about, it's, you know, to get up in the morning, to try to get into nature. And, you know, here in UK, it's kind of, you maybe have to travel far to get into nature,
Starting point is 01:58:22 but at least get into some parks and try to have some variations in your life. Because if you happen to do kind of the same things every day, which for instance could be spend hours every day looking into a screen and believe you're going to learn about yourself, learn about the world. I find meanings in life, it's a huge mistake.
Starting point is 01:58:50 So somehow you have to be a little bit brutal to yourself. It's easy to say, it's difficult to do, but is it worth it? Yes. So it's kind of, you know, it's difficult to do, but is it worth it? Yes. It's about finding your own North Pole eventually. Arling, it's been such a joy talking to you. Thank you for writing all these wonderful books, and thank you for making the journey to the studio. Come to Norway!
Starting point is 01:59:18 That's it, we'll do it. Thanks, man. Thank you. Thanks man. Thank you. Really hope you enjoyed that conversation. Do think about one thing that you can take away and apply into your own life. And also have a think about one thing from this conversation that you can teach to somebody else. Remember when you teach someone, it not only helps them, it also helps you learn and retain the information.
Starting point is 01:59:46 Now, before you go, just wanted to let you know about Friday 5. It's my free weekly email containing five simple ideas to improve your health and happiness. In that email, I share exclusive insights that I do not share anywhere else, including health advice, how to manage your time better, interesting articles or videos that I do not share anywhere else, including health advice, how to manage your time better, interesting articles or videos that I've been consuming and quotes that have caused me to stop and reflect. And I have to say in a world of endless emails, it really is delightful that many of you tell me it is one of the only weekly emails that you actively look forward to receiving. So, if that sounds like something you would like to receive each and every Friday, you can sign up for free at drchattyg.com forward
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