Financial Audit - 40-Year-Old Can't Afford To Survive

Episode Date: February 26, 2024

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Restrictions apply. My name is Dominga Titus. I am 40 years old in Austin, Texas, and this is financial audit. Well, thank you for coming on here. So this is a follow-up episode. You don't need to have watched the previous episode to watch this one, because this is going to be any other financial audit. just like, you know, all of the financial audits.

But to give just a little bit of context, we had a conversation last time, uh, we talked about the family dynamic, how you and your husband don't share finances at all. Things are very separate. They're like incredibly separate. And, uh,

you have experienced homelessness in the past with your kids. That was very traumatic. And, you know, trying to not replicate anything like that in the future. Uh, but there was definitely spending addictions. Things on Amazon just multiple, multiple a day and just draining the income in endless amount of debts to pay off.

So that was the background previous. Yes. How are we looking today? How do you feel the last six months or so has progressed? So there was a huge upswing for a while there. I landed a job before I was a contractor and I was not doing that great, but I landed a full-time job with about a $15,000 raise in income per year. However, there have been a couple of setbacks.

I had a total hysterectomy. I had a couple of hit and run car accidents that I had to deal with, and my husband lost his job two months ago. Oh, no. See, so just some of the layoffs that we're seeing? Something like that, yeah. Something like that, okay. Well, what's your current job? I work for the state, so it's an office manager job, and it's 40 hours a week, two days remote.

It's a great situation for me, health care, everything I needed that I wasn't finding before. Hourly or salary? Salary. What's your salary? 54. 54, cool. But, of course, this is coming to now a single household income. Yes.

But last time again, you guys split it in very weird ways. Yes. So just to remind us of how it was operating versus how it's operating now in terms of the income. So I'm the primary breadwinner. I have been always in our relationship. And so I was paying all the bills. And then he would, I guess, pay me back for portions of those. After the last audit, we went home and I broke it down by numbers.

And he ended up paying about 40% of our household bills. Oh, okay. So it turned out that I just wasn't aware of how much he was helping, but it still wasn't a set or reliable amount. And it was kind of a, hey, can you cover me? Can you spot me? I never had to pay him back. But it was more of a first me than you.

So I guess it kind of set us up for him losing the job because not a whole lot changed. Other than that, I had to pay a little more towards everything. How is the marriage holding up? I mean, our marriage is surprisingly well. I guess there were a lot of comments and questions. on the last video about that. But I feel like our marriage as far as a relationship is good, but we're having more talks about finances,

and that's been a little bit of a tumultuous situation. I'm just trying to figure out where we both stand and how much we're willing to give to the other in terms of leeway, I guess. Is it giving to each other, though, or is it giving to the household? Well, I think part of it was that we weren't communicating about finances. We can talk about everything but money because I am hard-headed and I'm a spender, and he just didn't want to have fights with me. If you don't want to have fights with me, hit that subscribe button because I am trying to get to 500,000 subscribers and thank you to everyone who has subscribed so far.

So there was an upswing, and then obviously there were some things that happened. But in terms of the debt, in terms of some of the spending and stuff like that, have we made progress with things happening? So I deleted the Amazon app after that episode. Good. And it has remained off my phone. Good. There are still some Amazon purchases. Yeah, I was going to say.

Yes. But I literally have to log in. don't stay logged in, like I have to go through the steps and make conscious decisions to get into the app, which with my, I'm still sober, by the way, a year and six months. Oh, congratulations. Thank you. And that's kind of what I learned with my addictions is I need to really work for it if I want it. So I'd sit there and things would sit in my cart for a while.

And there are definitely not so much splurge splurges as they were before. Like, I wasn't buying unnecessary furniture for the house or things like that. I know you saw some Amazon purchases. A lot of those are, again, subscriptions for like household goods. But I also had a big work event recently that I had to buy some things for for myself. Why? Why? Why?

Did you have to buy? It was, um, signing to buy like a whole outfit. I know, it's not a, it was a, it was like a, it's a, I don't know how to describe it without. You're telling me you didn't have any outfits. Not, no, because I have lost weight. So, I haven't had, so. So, yeah, I can, I can actually tell you I didn't. Um, and it was, um, my son's birthday was right after his job lost.

My, uh, ex-husband's, oops, Florian's job lost. And so I stupidly did some, I know you noticed some after pay financing. Yes, you did. Which, I mean, that immediately. Which I'd done so well, too. I had done so well. What about partners on debts? Let's see, I had a credit card debt, I think, that I've been paying down every month, like $3 to $400 a month.

You have some collections as well? Yeah, there was a stupid collection where I forgot to pay my daughter's clarinet rental. And so I'm catching up on that and return the instrument, because she actually actually. a quit band. Let's see. I can't remember what else there was. I think that was the primary one. It was a music instrument.

We're going to look into where your financial situation says stands today. In terms of like a score zero out of ten of your personal finances, what would you say you are? Do you know what's stupid? I do. Paying so much money every month just for cell phone coverage when you could just take 15 minutes to get cell phone coverage with Mint Mobile for as low as $15 a month. I partner with them for that specific reason.

Use your money in a better way. So make sure you go to mintmobile.com forward slash hammer. Let's use our money in better ways. I love you. Let's get back to the episode. Still like a four. Four? Yeah.

Okay. Ten being the best. Four, yeah. Yeah. I think last time it was, there wasn't scores at that time, but it would have been pretty much a one. So you think you've improved by three points? Yeah. I think, I don't know.

You see it, but I feel it. All right. Well, let's do this thing then. Let's jump into the monies. I have two checking accounts here. Okay. So in this first one, we started with 873, but we ended with 113. Are there automatic withdraws on this? Yes, there's a car payment. Okay, well, that makes me very nervous. And a insurance payment, things that are automatically taken out. There's a car payment. Okay. So there are other debts than just a credit card. Okay. So, yeah, that makes me very nervous, especially in a household.

told with two kids, was it? Two kids, a husband with no job and questionable plan-in-th relationship, ending with 113 makes me a little nervous with automatic withdrawals. If people are perfectly down to the sent budgeting, that makes, you know, I'm not nervous and they're manually paying things, but that makes me nervous in your situation. Lots of places can expose you to identity theft. Oh, no. That's why LifeLock monitors hundreds of millions of data points a second for threats to your identity,

which is way more than anyone can do on their own. If we find anything suspicious, like new loans or changes to your financial accounts, we alert you right away, all through text, phone, email, or the LifeLock app. Get the alerts that could make all the difference. Save up to 40% your first year at LifeLock.com slash special offer. Terms apply. I think that makes me nervous. All these green things, if we're making progress, the green things.

So why are we clearly, if there are debts to pay off that are bad, And we talked about budgeting. Did you actually follow a budget? I created a whole spreadsheet. Well, it's clearly you're not doing it then, right? I'm leaving the amount of money I need to leave in there, and I'm living paycheck to paycheck. So my idea of budgeting is not correct yet. Not living paycheck to paycheck.

You're spending so much on just crap. That's not paycheck to paycheck. You are choosing to leave paycheck to paycheck, but not in the way where it's like forced to. No. Because, again, Jimmy Johns, and after paychecks. of $52 and after pay of $22 were after paying. I thought we were beyond this, right? Weren't we beyond this?

Paypaling Etsy and Pluckers, a very expensive $103 $1,000, ring monthly bills, Audible, Klarna-ean for $24, who knows how many of the payments there are there, Spotify, and Summa, and parking, and PayPaling

out, and Disney Plus, and donating to KUJ, $10. If we're living paycheck to paycheck, are we donating $10? In Amazon, we're going back to Amazon, I thought we were just deciding we were never going to do it again. In McDonald's, and afterpay and after pay and after pay, by the way, of which we're $32, $45, $30.

And Klarna, $50, Little Caesar's Marina's Kitchen. Oh, guess what? There's another page with Green Lines. Green Lines equal purchases you do not need to do. Water, ice, tipioka, Mexican Superman. and Cinemark movie club and Little Caesars and going to a bakery and half-price books and Amazon Prime Video

and Green Mesquite and text tag which is tolls you don't need to take tolls Apple Bill Apple Bill after pay Affirm! Affirm! What are we doing a firm at this point with where we know we've been where we're trying to get and where we can't budget? If you can't afford it, you can't afford it.

We're doing a firm for $139. in Amazon Marketplace and McDonald's and marshals and air trampolines in cinema and cinema and tipeoga and circuit or cricket that's for my crafting business

do we need to be crafting? Paycheck's paycheck and chick fillet $35 at McDonald's and after pay after pay after pay Netflix and transferring out Peacock is for Peacock and Sally Beauty and Dairy Queen Again, another page. Look up any green lines.

Okay. Clarna. My FCM. $75. Medipay, something children, and Bedrow Beacon Farm, and Waterloo Ice House. We're obsessed to that place in Amazon

and Amazon and Titioka and Five Below. And PayPal. And Jason's Deli. And Moody Center. And Marianas. Afterpay. Google Storage. Amazon Marketplace, Amazon, Apple, Wagpet, Dirty Martinez.

Okay, fun fact, out of all these purchases here, easily 80, 85 to 90% of them are things you do not need. You are not paycheck to paycheck that is bullshit. Don't bullshit. We don't bullshit here. That's not paycheck to paycheck. That is choosing to put those purchases over actually paying off debts, actually living, actually saving, actually safe. actually investing. We are choosing to be paycheck to paycheck.

You are not, in the literal sense, paycheck to paycheck, correct. Okay. Okay. Thank you. So why did you say that? Come on. I don't know.

That's because I'm literally spending all my paycheck until the next paycheck, I guess. Yeah, you were just spending. It's bullshit money. This is bullshit spending. This was insane. This was crazy. And if we have debts to pay off,

if we have car payments, if we have all these things. What's your retirement account look like today? God, I just started it in January or December. That's your only retirement account ever. I think I told you the last one. I ended up cashing out the only other one I had. That's right.

And you're 40. So we have no retirement. So the best two years of your life for compound growth are complete or two decades of your life for compound growth are completely gone. You're starting retirement. You want to make sure you're actually able to retire so that your kids are not forced to take care of you as a responsible parent, right? So we're putting pluckers above all that stuff, which is a wings place.

And we're putting that above retirement and taking care of ourselves. We're taking that above. above having an emergency fund and taking care of ourselves. We're putting pluckers above paying off car debt, credit card debt, and all these other financing things, instead of taking care of ourselves. So I feel like maybe some mental progress was made, but financially, have we really? What's awesome in that we can celebrate is that you are a year and a half sober or whatever the exact thing is. That's incredible.

But again, the same conversation, I think some of the addictive personality has been put on eating out. constantly has been put on all these different shopping things. I always speak about mental health here in therapy. Have you sought out a therapist? I am starting this week actually. Good. Is it because of the health insurance? No, actually, no. It's

I've just changing therapists. I had the VA before and I've decided to change things because things have been going down mental health-wise. Oh, why? Why is that? No, it's just you know, the whole job situation and all that. It's a lot of

A lot of pressures in life. Absolutely. And that directly impacts mental health. And we're nothing without our brain. So as life stuff surrounds us and it gets more and more complicated, more and more, you know, hard in general. I will say, like, I wish I could show you more months. Because there were a couple months where I really was, like, paying the bills.

And I had savings. We ended up going through because of the job loss. So it's the job loss you think that has affected most things here? financially speaking? I'm not going to put it all on that because obviously I still had, I have these habits that are still affecting us, but it's definitely exacerbated in the situation. It's just instead of stopping what I was doing, it's continued. So, yeah. Yeah. If we know we're in a position where we're just struggling to pay for things,

why are we taking care of all these? Where are we doing all these finance options? If you know you can't purchase, why are you still purchasing? And that was for a few months after our last visit. It was, if I can't buy it out right, I can't afford it. And in the last couple months, just. So what changed? I know we had the job changed in terms of maybe some savings and stuff like that. But what changed in terms of the mentality of, okay, well, now we're going to start financing things again.

Now we're going to go out to eat every day again. Like, what changed? I don't know. Do you think you've just lost some discipline? Did you get off the track? Probably. Oh, well, I know I did. I mean, even like going to the gym stopped.

You know, like multiple things that I was doing to take care of things stopped. So, yes. And that's part of the reason I did seek out to change my medicines and to go to a different doctor. Okay. So I'm thinking you're bringing in about after taxes and everything and health insurance, about $3,750 a month, something like that. That's correct.

You'll have child tax credits as well, of course. But okay, we have another check. checking account the lookout, you are bullying yourself with these purchases. There is a better balance in here of $850. But Apple bills, and this is what upset me, this is within, this is just pending within a day. Amazon, Amazon, Amazon, Amazon, Amazon, Amazon, for Amazon purchases. This is something we were trying to deal with last time. So it just scares me that even if progress was made that I couldn't see, we're back to where we were, and that's unsustainable. And that is scary for the rest of your life.

Etsy, Prime Video, PayPal and out. Prime Video, Tuckorito, PayPal, PayPal, PayPal, after pay, after pay. After pay, come on, these are like 50 bucks each. And Dairy Queen in Amazon and Amazon Apple Bill's Cinemark Movie. This crap is adding up. So we're just spending so much money. And we can't do that. We can't afford that.

if we have practically $0,000 in retirement. What's in your savings? Currently, like, $2.75. We headed up to almost $3,000, but it's gone. Okay. And then what we've added up here is, in terms of different subscriptions and stuff you've done, $233.

Then that, $840 of going out the East Bend, $840 of your $3,750 that are back. Gas $280, so lots of stuff driving. Lots of driving. It's closer to $4,000. We saw $4,000 hit your payroll. Sorry, I should have said that. So an extra $250 than I was guessing.

Afterpay, Klarna, or firm, your payments, $754 is what you've paid towards that stuff. And those will be done this month, and I'm going to say it again. I'm going to stop using them. And then Bridgecross, big thing there, $558 as well. That's a car payment. And then Wag Pet donation, $303. It was a dog, kind of. You can't do that. I want you to give so much, but you can't do that now when you can't even give it to yourself.

You can't even give to your own retirement and savings, $200 in the savings. We cannot be donating. Donate eventually, we can't now. It's not a thing. It can't be. Do you still have a credit card on your phone? I don't know. I don't have an account because it sent me an email the other day.

Go ahead and look it up and download it if you don't have it. Okay, I'm between low 600s, high 500s. A payment history of 14%. Okay. Remind me the student loan thing. It's 41 missed payments. Oh, yes, because I just wasn't working for those two years or year and change. So I am paying every month to, but it's a very small portion of those.

And an IRS debt that I'm still paying towards. How much is owed to the student loans? God, like 38. Still? $38,000. What's your minimum monthly? I think I worked it out towards $75 twice a month, so $150. It's barely chipping at anything.

Actually, it's chipping at nothing. What's the interest rate? God, I can't remember. I just... I can't see on here. You couldn't get your statement? I might have it, but I don't have it on me. But I think...

Well, yeah. No progress is being made on these with missing and stuff. U.S. Department of Education. They started garnishing wages? No. Because you're currently on time with the payments, but we're just not making any progress. Well, you want to pay these off as soon as we can

because I can tell this is going to be like... Usually with student loans is like minimum monthly payments, but... Yeah, and then you're missed right now on the instrument. The instruments. So what are you doing with it? Pain, pain, like I'm behind. Even though you returned it?

Yes, because I still owe a balance from when we had it in our possession. Why didn't you, 861? Mind you, that fast food, the food going out could have covered this entire thing. Yeah? So why are we even doing this? Again, that's where I get a little upset at the spending. What's the monthly payment on this thing? The instrument is 56 a month.

You know the interest? No, because they're just asking me to pay back what I owe. Okay. And the Department of Education. Yeah, these are terrible. Negative 6% paid. Negative 6% paid. Negative 5% paid, negative 4% paid, negative 4% paid, negative 6% paid.

Negative 3% paid, number of 4% paid. Negative 6% paid. Oh, no, that's right. Bridge crest. The car. Sorry for the vocal fry. I'm still getting over something in my throat It doesn't feel like anything, but yeah, I'm just like

local frying Okay, 3% paid off What is the car again? What is the what? I'm sorry? What's the car? That's a Honda 7th or a cord Year? 2015.

Okay. Is it worth $21,000? It only had $38,000 on it when I got it and so. Yeah, but it's a Okay, well, we can look. 21,000. When'd you get it?

In January. My car... You just got it! My car broke down. No. What... What was owed on the last car? So we've gone further into debt, is what I'm hearing.

So from last time when we're making progress... If you... You've... And it's 75 months. Not he's 72. It's 75 months. 75 months. I'm making double payments on it, but not anymore since he lost his job.

So I made... Oh, my gosh. made four payments in two months. It doesn't even matter because it's $558 a month. That's an insane payment for your... Oh. No. What is the interest rate on this?

You have to know the interest rate on this. Yeah. It's like 21%. Are you sure it's 21%? Because they think it's 24%. Oh, maybe it's 24. Okay. 24% loan?

You went and signed it for a 24% loan? No. Okay. So, uh... Okay. Okay. Okay. This is blowing my mind right now.

We're further in the long. whole. We've gone worse. We've gone worse. You've seen probably some of my other videos. We had a conversation. How could we possibly, if you're trying to get into a right situation four months ago, four months ago after our video was already done well within a few months before that, why would we go get a $21,000 loan at 24%? How was that, did someone talk you into it? Was the husband, like, okay with it? Where were we? I need to know how you did this. Or else? I needed a vehicle.

That, yeah, but why'd you do this? Why did you not go get a crappy $5,000 car? I don't even care that a mechanic, like, says is drivable and we'll get you somewhere safe, and it's from, like, the mid-2000s for a while you saved up some money a bit at least, or $10,000 with the loan of, like, this interest, right? Because their credit source was really bad. But why did you decide to go over $20,000 on a 2015 car that's probably not worth that? I don't know.

We can look up. But why? If there's no why, then what that immediately screams to me, and this is not to be rude, but what this immediately screams to me is that you're doing this until you're 70. Over and over and over and over and over again. No progress. If this just happened halfway after between now and the last episode we recorded with you. Please, there has to be some why.

Okay, fine. Why did you not get a $10,000 car? I couldn't I could not find financing to get a $10,000 one and I only had $3,000 in hand. That doesn't make sense. You got financing for a $20,000 one. I tried different credit unions. They didn't help me. I tried different financing options. Did you look at personal loans and stuff as well? Yes, I went through my bank. I went through. Who approved you for this?

Bridgecrest was the, that's the financing company. At the auto place? Yeah, or Carvana, yeah. Okay. Why didn't you get a $10,000 car at Carvana? They would, it would not go through for a $10,000 finance. I tried different. Did you go to other dealerships? Yes.

Right here in Austin and that was the national one. And then there was another one who wanted to put me in a different, it wasn't going to be any, it was going to be more than that. It sounds like they were just refusing you to get you. They wanted a higher sale. And they were using the leverage of you needed a finance to them to get that. So, I mean, I wasn't there. I don't know. I haven't seen all.

loans, but it kind of blows my mind that, I mean, this is a predatory loan. Like, you could, if you could get this for this, you could get it for $10,000. I wasn't there. I haven't seen the whole situation, but there's no way. That doesn't make sense. In my mind, unless I'm missing something. I'm always happy to learn something, but this doesn't make sense. This is predatory.

Almost $600, almost $600 for six years? That's bad. Good news is you lost weight since the last time we talked, but I gained weight, so you can yell at me for that. Okay. I'll yell at you for this. You yell at me for that. Okay. I'm scared.

Like, what do we do from here? Can we make a budget? Will you actually follow a budget? Like, I, again, this might sound rude, and some people have found this rude, but I'm going to say this just to put things in to perspective for you as apparent. And I am not apparent, but we can talk about this from an economic point and responses. ability point. If we are going further into debt, if we are choosing to eat out and go do these things

that are fun and we are not contributing as much to paying off the debts and then eventually retirement so that you can have a full place to retire, equals irresponsibility. Because what are you doing in that situation when you're choosing food and new cars at $20,000 with a predatory loan over these responsibilities? You are saying that you are forcing your children to then take care of you when you're in your 70s because you have nothing saved up and have to rely on Social Security if it even exists at that point. That's what you are choosing now. Do you understand that?

Does that make sense? Yes. Okay. Like that, yes. Okay. Have you ever thought about it like that? No. Okay.

Well, maybe that's what we need to hear right now so that we can do what is right in overcapital. come it because you had a fire linen under your butt and this is what scares me every single time is you had a fire lit under your butt for a couple months but then a setback will happen a little setback will happen a setback will happen even a major one like a car thing and I do understand that but we can't let that derail our entire life we need you to be able to take care of yourself what about the husband does he have any in retirement for you both yeah has he been applying for jobs like it's a full-time job? Okay. What job did he have?

He was a retail manager. A retail manager, but retail is hiring like crazy. He, yeah, I mean, he's putting the job. I'm helping him, putting the job application. Is he not willing to take a temporary job of working $15 an hour in retail just to make some money for 40 hours a week? He has not gotten callbacks. I don't know. We're both applying. He's applied at like grocery stuff. and things like that.

I have a place. My friend used to work at a place of retail. She has a better job now. But they call her like almost every other week because we need people to work. Come, please work here just a couple hours a week. And I have another friend who does work in retail. She's, you know, a younger sister of one of my friends here. And, you know, she's a friend.

And they're giving everyone raises to stay there because they're desperate trying to retain people because so many people are leaving. And then they have a hard time hiring people. If you looked around Austin, I'm not saying he can get a retail manager position right now. That might be the harder one to find. But we could at least get him something where he's bringing him money because there's a family to take care of. If he's only taking care of himself and he just wants to, you know,

if he's not willing to sacrifice and go down to a job, he might feel is beneath him. Like, okay, fine, whatever. That's you. I mean, I would still, you know, we'll slap him around a bit. But with the family aspect of it, we've got to be bringing in something so we can make progress. Does he have debts?

No, I mean, he's got his car, he paid off, or bought. I don't. He doesn't have credit card. He doesn't have. Good. No. So, no. Can you do something for me that I think might help? Lock your credit. Lock your credit. So you can no longer do a firm and all that crap. So you can apply for credit. I mean, you can you can unlock your credit and then you can do it. But again, you talked about those barriers making things harder for you. Yes. It is a way to help. And again, this is something that I think when you deal with the actual mental health with your therapist, you'll actually find better solutions because that's not, you know, something.

I need extremes. Like, that's always the last few years. I need to work in extremes. Like if I need to, if that's what it takes to stop my spending, then that's what I do. Lock your credit so you can't apply for credit. I personally have never used it for all that stuff. I'm hoping it's not a way that since you were approved before, they'll just approve you without looking into credit. I just need to quit it, like, period.

You do. You do. You keep spending money that you don't have. And then when you get down to, what was it, like $28 in there, something like that in that checking account? The other checking account was a little better. But, I mean, so with the way I framed it, if I lay out a budget, will you actually follow it? Will you follow? Yes, because that's, again, like, I need that structure.

I need that. You have to. And mind you, if you don't, you are saying I'm putting the burden of my entire life on my children. In a way. Because it's a choice. Once you at least acknowledge that that's a possibility and then you are choosing to do other things, then you are choosing to be irresponsible in a way. Might not feel like in the situation like, oh, I haven't been to McDonald's forever. Let's just have a little swipe.

But in reality, in the grand scheme of things, it is being irresponsible. So let's work on a budget. This is going to be hard because this is for a household of four with one income right now. He needs to just go over $15 an hour. I don't care. He needs to go to Waterburger and get like $12 an hour. He just needs to bring in money while he's applying for jobs. he wants.

It's because there are people we need to be taken care of. There are situations we need to be taken care of. Did you have a conversation with him about a combined income? I think we, no, we like glossed over it and it's just not. He wouldn't do it? I don't think, I don't want to do it. Why? I don't.

But we need the combined income going to goals, paying off debts faster, paying for the collective household bills, not your bills, my bills, your bills, my bills. and we need to be collectively saving for retirements. Obviously, there are individual retirement accounts, but we need to be able to be doing things as a couple. Do you guys not see, like, a future? I'm curious. Like, how do?

You know, we have those silly discussions where, like, oh, when we retire, we're going to move to Wyoming type crap. But right now we're not going anywhere because we'll be working until we die. Yeah, but if, like, why even have that conversation if we're not doing our goals together? Right. And that's, yeah, I need to just, I don't know if it's, I don't want him to see my accounts or. Does he know about this stuff? When we had the conversation last time, he wasn't aware how much I was spending.

He just assumed that I was taking care of things like I had always done. Is he aware now? Probably not, no. We should be having monthly conversations about the budget. You should be on the same page with budget. Well, in the real world, what you should be is it should be combined. should have a combined household budget, and we should be, including whatever income he might have,

should be going towards paying off your debt, and then getting a household emergency fund instead of yours, his, yours is. But I can't do that. And it doesn't sound like you're willing to do that. Have you considered couples therapy? We've talked about it. Do it. It sounds like other things are great in the relationship,

and that's fantastic. But this might be a worthy conversation having with a couple's therapist, so that you guys can meet goals together. We're just not getting there right now, and I'm scared. I'm scared. You're such an incredibly nice person, and I don't even know your family, but I want you guys to do so well. I mean, it would be weird if I didn't, first of all, but I really want you guys to do well. And because of that, I have that anxiety, like, in my bones for you guys.

So I'll lay out a budget for this single household income. But if you don't follow it, if we keep going down the same thing, paths, then we're not retiring. We're dropping debt on the Walmart floor when we're 90. Our parents or our kids are helping to pay for our rent when we're older. My mom's still working here. Don't be like that. Okay, let's see.

Minimum of debt payments. Mind you also, your minimum monthly debt payments for your take. home is 20% and they're all bad debts. None of these are debts that are, you know, contributing to anything like primary residence, not like a mortgage or anything like that. This is all crap. Also, didn't you say there's a credit card you were still paying off? The one that we talked about last time, it was at like $12,000. I'm just paying at it. What's owed on it now? I think it's down to like, there's a lot of it goes to principal.

I think it's only gone down like $1,200. So what's it to? Um, oh, geez. Like 11, 7? 11? No, that's wrong. 10.7, I think is what the last balance was. Oh, geez.

Well, then that interest, it has to be, what, 20, 30%? I think it's, maybe that's the one that's 21. That's why that number stuck in my brain. And what's your minimum monthly payment on that thing? I don't know. I just paid 300 at it. That's probably like 60, because credit cards, they wanted to give you a low minimum monthly payment so that you're paying out forever.

Okay, so, I mean, so. I mean, now the credit, it's really bad. Well, yeah, it's a high debt for your income. 30,000, 39, basically 40,000 there, about $40,000 in bad debt for a $54,000 income. So probably about $800 minimum monthly payments, but obviously we have to pay more on the terrible credit card than that. What's interesting is I don't want to pay off the car faster What's your rent

What you're fully taken care of now? 18 and change A month Oh no It's 50% of your income Is rent 50% of your income That's unaffordable

How many rooms is this? Two, just two When is the lease up? June I'm not June I don't know if you can find Below that really for too big Redrooms. You guys might have to move to like the outskirts, though.

This is, I mean, that's unaffordable, and he just needs to get a job now. We need to get that to 30% max of the household income. Utilities and Internet, what does that all come out to? Internet and most utilities are included in the rent, so I ended up only paying my light bill, which is like $1.20 a month. Okay. Car insurance? $2.20 a month. You're paying for his now, too, aren't you?

Yep. How much is that? That's the 220. Oh. Okay. For the household, stained, survived,

paper, toothpaste, all this stuff, give you $150. Get the name brand cheapest crap you can. Or not, you know,

the store brand, whatever it's called. $150. Because I already feel like we're overextended. Food for four people. This is going to suck. You're just going to,

it has to be $400 to groceries. You have to chop the sheep as you can. Yeah, but you eat out. So like every day. But when I do a whole week grocery shop, I can keep it between 120, 150,

because I do buy like large packages of meats and things like that. So we freeze a lot. We don't say 500, but we might have to just force that down to 400 is no one starves. That's the rule, obviously. No one starves. And we want it to be relatively healthy. And I know, but we skip things like eggs right now.

You don't need to be doing eggs. Where things where inflation have gone insane. and we ramen for kids every once in a while, peanut butter, jelly sandwiches, stuff like that. Pleasant, no, but we've got to get through the other side of the tunnel first before we can be having Wagyu steaks for dinner. Okay. Gas, you spent a lot on gas there. He spent hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and hours on gas.

I thought I was only doing like 35 a week. I don't know what. Well, what about him as well? Well, he's not driving anywhere right now. Okay, so you think 35 a week is what you can do? 140 we'll call it a month So again, out of the $4,000 you have budgeted

your minimum monthly budget in order to survive Basic survival is $3,730 And that's living on the edge, essentially Basically feeling like you're living in poverty in this situation Except for having a relatively nice place in car So I guess not I guess that didn't really make any sense But $270 is what you have left.

We're not going to make progress on $270.70. We're not going to get anywhere with that. So this is why the household income needs to be combined. He needs to bring in $15 an hour, $40 a week with no vacations. He needs to make $30,000 a year doing that. I mean, you know, taxes, but it won't be very many taxes. That needs to happen. And even with, like, the co-pay for your therapy, I mean, this is gone now, probably.

$270. I don't know what your health insurance looks like. I have an HSA. Yeah. Yeah, it's a, I have good coverage, and I don't pay any out of pocket for my, only just hits, I don't know how to explain it, but I ended up signing up to where a certain amount of my income goes towards the account, and I only use that for medical. So that's not even like that, just.

Okay, so that's before you're $4,000. Okay. So this is the reality of the situation. That budget has to be followed to a T. He needs to bring money. We need to have a collective household pile. And then the instrument needs to just be paid off immediately. Actually, no, no, no, what you need to do, because you need to save up $4,000 as quick as you can.

And in this situation, in this situation, $4,000 just to get started, it's going to take a year in a few months. And that's just so you get started so you can have a slight emergency. Because right now one thing happens to you, then what happens to the household? It's screwed. So what this $4,000 would do? would get you to one month of survival on your minimum budget. Right now, you were living in the scariest position possible. So, with your lovely 2015, whatever, I'm sorry to tell you this,

we see the kids a little less because you're driving Uber eats every single night. I just started Insta cart. Insta cart? I made like 400, one a weekend. One weekend? Okay. Yeah, so whatever one makes more money and then maintenance and gas, maybe that's why your gas was a little higher, you know?

maybe a split between Inzacart and a split between Uber Eats and Uber Eats does relatively well in the main part of Austin and around campus you're working until you're passing out and it's so much easier to tell someone that than do it. It's so much easier to just have those words

you know, complicated airflow than go do things but it's kind of what's necessary because right now you're never going to get to $4,000 and only then do we pay off the instrument and then we pay off the credit card and then we pay off the car and then we pay off student loans with this with the amount of debt that's there at $40,000

plus that $4,000 you need to save up and then plus getting to a $20,000 emergency fund it takes 232 months or 20 years 20 years so you're 60 then you haven't even touched retirement yet So that's what it's like with this So he needs to go work any job right now I don't care what it is I don't care what it is Then you guys need to combine household income I'm not even doing it as a suggestion anymore

It needs to happen And he shows him this video Because this should be scary Because you can't be 60 before you start contributing to retirement That doesn't make sense It should be considering retirement around 59 and a half

If you've done well And so he needs to get that other job He also needs to go get another job on top of his other job, then probably an other job on top of that other job for his other job, and then you need to get a second job, or you need to be driving Uber Eats, and essentially you just really meal prep for the week,

and your kids eat that, and then you can help them with their homework a little bit, but other than that, you're working, you're working, working, working, because without working, that's all. Maybe try to find yourself a better job as well, eventually? Yeah, I just did a week of Instacart, and I didn't get to see the kids at hardly at all.

And that's the hard part, but that's the sacrifice. If you can go bring 30,000 hours a home a year and you guys have a combined household income and you start tackling this, it changes the whole story. It changes the story. Maybe you're out of this situation in two to three years versus 20 in terms of having a fully funded emergency fund. Because the steps from here is saving up that one-month emergency fund for you.

Paying off the debt, probably smallest the largest. You could do Avalanche. You could do the car first because the interest rate's insane, then the credit card, then the student loans, in the instrument. That doesn't, I would get up the instrument out of the way and then maybe do them. But either way, an other thing I might do, and this absolutely, you probably hate this and wouldn't do it.

I don't know what the value of the car is, but through credit karma, what you will see is guaranteed personal loans, where they basically guarantee you, you'll get approved for the personal loan, or they will give you money, like a compensation for not getting approved. look into that just look into that it's going to be a crappy person alone but not much crappier

than the car thing you have if I need to sell the car get a person alone pay off the car and whatever you have left in the personal loan five to ten thousand dollar car that you take to a mechanic

and get the sign off that this will be safe for you and your family to drive around in and it will last at least five years that might be something you need to do

because 24% with a $558 $75 month repayment $21,000 $2,015 car? We don't do that. That's insane. That makes no sense. So we might need to get... I don't know what the value of this thing is. Check the value.

If you have to borrow an extra $2,000 in order to pay it off, that's worth it. And then you put that in your debt snowball or debt avalanche that person alone to pay this off. That's something I would highly consider. Take a look at that. That shaves an extra year, maybe, an extra six months off this whole situation. but you got to follow this budget. Will you follow this budget? I will.

Will he follow this budget? Because this kind of includes him. Yes. I mean, we don't have an option any longer. Couples therapy. Please, please, please. I'm not joking. No, I know.

I know. Do it. This income has to be combined. Or else, the reality is, again, I've already said it, but I'm going to say it again. Neither of you are retiring. You're never going to have a paid for a car again because you'll just keep borrowing until the next car is paid off

because this is six years. and maybe the car breaks down or something happens within none, then you have to go borrow for another car. Maybe you still have debt on this car at this time. Maybe his car breaks, nothing saved up, so he has to go borrow for a car. The student loans are never paid off $150 a month with interest accruing. Credit card's never paid off $60 a month with 21% interest.

You know, maybe the instrument's paid off. Then you guys have nothing to retire. You guys are working into your 90s, just trying to survive, and your kids are paying for your life. And that's what this looks like if we don't follow the budget. We don't work constantly. And that is, it's hard because this is just all negative.

There's nothing I can say that's optimistic. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Not your fault. No, I know. And when I got the email from me, I was like, why couldn't I be able to give him better news? But let's find a light at the end of the tunnel. The light at the end of the tunnel is, if in six,

months we have another follow-up and you show me that this has been followed for six months budget that you are working seven days a week and that he has gotten a job and that progress is being made on this debt again this turns from 20 years to two to three to four to five years and that is manageable then there is a life to be lived there is contributing like 30% to retirement because we've got to play catch-up we have to maybe even 35% but you're able to also go out to eat at that time and do things that you want to do. Maybe we're saving up for a house even. There's a life there.

It's the temporary sacrifice now. And two years is going to feel like a long time. Three is going to feel longer. Four, even longer, five, even longer. But if you guys go crazy, legitimately crazy, there's also, and I haven't recommended this, and I'm not going to ask because I'd rather work and get out of things, but there is also the conversation

of bankruptcy. Student loans won't qualify under that. But, I mean, you'll probably lose your car. and it'll be hard to qualify for, you know, getting into a place to rent in the future. I mean, that's like the last, last, last resort, because it'll just bring turmoil on your family. It'll be hard. But that's something that's in the conversation. But if the choice is pluckers and bankruptcy.

Exactly. And working hard and working all the time or bankruptcy. Lots of work. Yeah. I've got it in me. I know I do. You do? I believe in you. what I'm nervous about is we have the relationship thing

and we need to have that conversation we need to do that stuff you need to be brave enough to do that brave enough to go to a couple therapy I'm proud of you brave enough to go to personal therapy starting next week that's incredible that's incredible you're awesome for that you are awesome for always taking care of your kids getting out of hard situations in the past

getting into a two bedroom and making sure there's always food on the table you are awesome for that. You want to spoil them and take them out to eat. You are awesome for that. Let's just get to the point where we're even beyond that. By temporary sacrificing, maybe, how old are they? I'm 17 and 13.

Okay, perfect. Old enough to be able to sit down at the table and have the conversation, okay, we've lived beyond our means. Mama's going to be cutting back so that mom can retire and you all don't have to worry about me. This is good. You should be cheering for this. okay guys we're all on this page cool high-fives all around you know maybe like

I want some McDaniels but we're like um how about like you don't have to pay for my living by the time I retire versus your large side of fries I mean I'll shove McDonubbles down my throat all day so I get it but it's not that important to us and my son always says to make sure that your plate is full before giving it you know he said something along those lines where he's got a better understanding of things. Good. I love that. I love that. And then your kid, I know you talked about wanting to pay for college next time and stuff like that.

It's not in the picture. No. For the first kid, at least, you might be able to help cash for the second kid. But what the first kid should do, and I know we talked about different options, and I'll say the same thing I said last time, if he just goes to community college here, or just applies for every single scholarship in the world. But if he goes to community college here, Austin Community College, everyone I know at community college that I talk to here,

It's so cheap for people living in Austin, you can cash flow it. You can cash flow it working part-time. It's incredible. Incredible the resource we have in this city. That's why my property taxes are essentially murder, but at least it benefits that. So that might be an option. You're just not going to be able to help, at least for the first one. Second one, maybe.

If you guys go crazy and get out of this and start contributing to retirement now and get in a fully funded emergency fund, get our debt. Maybe you can help cash flow. But that's what we're looking today. I want to hear you talk about what the future looks like. Tell me what you're going to do. What do the next years look like? What are you going to do? What does the relationship look like?

Desha-hoo. So, yes, a couple therapy. Yeah. I just got to cut the unnecessary spending. And I know it. Even when I spend it, I'm like, don't do it. The next year looks like a lot of work. It's got to get focused.

The good news about work is there's a reward for it. And the reward for this is that you guys are going to have a great life when you work in sacrifice. I believe in you guys. I'm equally nervous. Don't let a setback throw you back this time. Stay strong. Be in communication with me. and then take advantage of the different therapies.

And I think you guys can do this, no matter how hard it is. I know we can. I know I can't. Yeah. And there's free things for fun. I'll say that as well. Go to Zoker. Have a packed picnic.

Go to the beaches and stuff like that. A little rocky, but, yeah, it's pleasant. Okay. Any final thoughts? And lock your credit as well. To lock my credit. No, I mean, it's sobering to see it again. so maybe it'll stick this time.

So for Dominga, give her some love in the comments below. I mean, we've got to give her all the support and lift her up. It's going to be so hard, but you have this. You have this. Now, I'm going to give you a Hammer Financial score. You thought it was 4 out of 10. Spoiler, it's not going to be a 4 out of 10. So let's break down the category.

Spending. I mean, it was drastically overspending. Everything was green outlined in 0.10 debt. One thing we forgot to talk about was that IRS debt because I didn't see it on the credit. but you owe them and they are scary and now there's probably no money left over, so that's what's bad. But with the IRS debt and with collections, it's as bad as it can get zero out of 10. Retirement, there's nothing zero out of 10.

Merchies fund, there's nothing zero out of 10. Real estate, there's nothing zero out of 10. Obviously, the aggregate's down to a hammer financial score, zero out of 10. Hey, you like $5, I like $5. You open an Acorn's account in the link in the description below. I get $5, you get $5. Everybody wins. Make sure to follow my Instagram and Twitter.

Thanks.