Financial Audit - Asian Son Brings Dishonor To Family

Episode Date: March 13, 2024

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but I was going to be really impressed if this was you, if this is what you were doing in like your mid-20s. During your mid-30. Yeah. It's still exciting. It took a long road to get to pay $14,000 for large purchases. So what do you do here in Austin for a living? Stand-up comedy.

I travel outside of Austin to make money and then I come back and spend it here. I'm like a reverse. You don't make any money in Austin. I make a little bit, but most of my money is from the small towns and cities that I'm pilfering. Small towns and cities? You don't get the big boys? I think I get the big boys sometimes. Yeah.

But yeah, I was in Springfield, Missouri. You're mostly known for, for, uh, at least exposed from Kill Tony. Uh-huh. Do you make anything from being on Kill Tony? Uh, I plead the fifth. This dude told me he wanted to talk income before coming out here. And the first question about income you don't want to tell me? Well, that's not really to do with me.

I'm really going to reveal anything about me. Wait, what? Not about, you know, the thing that made me. So you're not allowed to tell me how much money you make from there? Yeah. Okay. Is it survivable? Okay.

All right. Well, how much money do you make on the road? One weekend. Probably like an average weekend is like $10,000. Kill me. Dude, that's fucking incredible. $10,000. That's your average weekend.

And that's most weekends? 52 weeks of the year. No, that's usually like maybe three weekends. I mean, I've been taking a break now, but I used to work all. It really depends. Okay. But last year I was working pretty much every weekend, running myself ragged, making enough. You know, sometimes it's five, sometimes it's 20, so I think average 10.

Hmm. You're taking a break now? Yeah, I'm taking a couple. I'm going to Tampa on Friday, but I've been taking a couple weekends off. I've been going out with Tony on his tour, on his theater tour, and that was fun. And, yeah, but, yeah, I don't like to travel too much on the weekends. It takes a lot out of me. That's when the shows are, right?

Yeah. Assuming when people are going to go out to the show, it's on the weekend. Yeah. When taking a break, how long are you taking off? Like two weekends, max. Oh, okay. So that's not really a break. You're taking a vacation, not a break.

Yeah. Okay, because you make me immediately worry when we start to do well in your financial situation, you're starting to make some money and then I hear you say, I'm going to take a break. It's like, no. Well, you're in a, what can be a limiting career sometimes? Like YouTube, this is like a three to five year type thing. I don't know for comedy as well. But, you know, some people have their peak and then they're off.

Yeah. It's like, I would want you to just make that fucking money, man. Yeah. As much as you can get. So, I mean, after the two weekends, you're going to start hitting it again really hard. Okay, cool. So how many weeks do we think a year that we can average out that 10K a weekend? Um, I would guess I make like 300K, so 30 weekends, maybe over half.

Dude, that's insane. How many people have been making $300K? 300k a year maybe a year and a half okay I'll have you been on the the podcast three years so it took a year and a half of grinding and then you started to bring in some money what what went from the not making any money to all of a sudden making money where was that transition what my agent oh my agent really helped me out he did the dirty work of calling the clubs and getting me in there yeah if it wasn't for him I would have to do it all myself would be a pain of that get the deals right whatever i give him 10% and it's like well i assume you have a 10

connections being a regular yeah right yeah it took you so long to get an agent year and a half you gave up a year and a half of burning potential yeah i guess so yeah i just was lounging on my um but uh yeah i mean i guess just having the agent the agent came to me the thing about it was that it was so easy i didn't have to do anything yeah he just called me is like you want me to do it i said yes he did everything else it's because it's easy for someone in your position to make decent money and they want to make a nut off of you. So it makes sense. What's your

overall goal? What are you trying to do? So in general, your financial picture, we're going to have a lot of cash to look at. And that's kind of where we are. Decent amount of spending, but a lot of cash. You bring in cash but you're not doing anything with it. So in your overall financial journey,

your financial life, what are you trying to get to now that you're actually starting to make those monies? I just want a house, a nice house. I just want to be like... Houston? Yeah, or anywhere. Like Tim Dillon Rich or like Andrew Schultz or like, you know, all these amazing comedians.

How rich are they? I don't know. They must be super rich just knowing how much I've been doing just little baby sips in the fountain. So yeah, they must be bawling. But yeah, just to have like normal life, you know, just like a house and, you know, like, I don't know. I don't want that much. Maybe like, you know, like a nice. house and that's pretty much it.

That's it. What about like set up for like cash flow in terms of if the comedy career falls off, you know, being able to sustain yourself till the end? Sure. I mean, I think that's on a different level. But like actually being able to sustain yourself if the career peaks at some point and we start to taper. So that's like one thing that's really important to me in this career.

Like I'm just like saving like every penny. Right. Do you think I'm saving? we'll go through I think what you're doing with your money is stupid you're setting an okay amount aside but the most you're getting on your money is like 2% which makes no sense

because you can get in treasuries right now for 5.5 and that's like basic level where I would want to see you like averaging 10% a year or the course of a decade in the market that's crazy this podcast is paying for itself for me right now I'm confused wait

but you have connections in the industry So a lot of people have gone through this. Has no one sat down with you and been like, here's how to navigate this, the financial part of this career? No, it's like sexed. Not even Tony? Because he makes a ton of money. He hasn't sit down.

You're his boy. He hasn't sat down and been like, yo, take care of your shit. No. He's just concerned about joke writing and, you know. Well, that's fair. Other stuff like that. Okay. That's interesting.

Well, I wonder if they're all f*** too now. No, they're probably doing great. I'm just an idiot. It's just never happening. I don't trust anyone who doesn't have a podcast. Have they not helped with this? Who doesn't have a podcast? They, I don't really talk to them that much.

Yeah, I should talk to them. My dad is like investment stuff. He does like houses in Korea. He, I have to like sign papers every now and then. They call me up from Korea and they talk in Korean. And I have to be like, okay. And he like bought an apartment for me. in Korea or something.

I don't know what's happening. What are you? Why haven't you asked him any questions to just like try to be somewhat successfully financially? I should call him. I actually just think it's awkward to call your parents. I think it's kind of gay to call your parents. Oh.

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to get started for free. Rocket Money. helping you achieve financial freedom. Let's deep dive into this. Deep dive. Or, well, actually, you're taking a sabbatical.

From Kill Tony. Kill Tony, which is your main, you know, plug into the artery of American comedy. Yeah. Like a million people

tune in a week, right? Something like that. At least. Yeah. So, which is incredible. And you're just depriving yourself from that. I assume that's like the easiest way

to get your ticket sales. Hans Kim from Kill Tony. come to my show and you're taking a few months off. Why? Just because I played the fifth again on that one.

Well, you got... I'll tell you that. Also, fun fact, I was there. Oh, nice. The arena. Hans versus Rick. Embarrassing

by K-L-W-S squirrel. The crowd decided hands. The comedians and anyone paying attention saw that Rick won based on the minutes alone. Hodge's emotionally and, uh, emotionality and sore winning was disgraceful, not funny, just acting like a total even when Rick was a good sport.

I was already tired of hands, but now it just looks like, J.K.E, a huge piece of shit for the way he acted after that. What a loser after even winning. Drama. Oh, wow. What do you think? Confronting my haters. Yeah.

Do you ever go on every creator's favorite platform Reddit where everything's very positive and constructive? Not anymore. Did you witness the drama? I assume you witnessed the drama. Yeah, of course. What'd you think? How'd that feel?

I thought it was unhinged, and it just made me grow stronger in my conviction that I am God's gift to earth. Yeah. Do you think you honestly beat Rick? Like legitimately. Joke on joke. I don't know.

I didn't even listen to a set. I listened to it later. I know my jokes. I don't know how they did on that night, but I think I like those jokes, and they've done better in smaller clubs, not arenas. I think on that night, I might not have had the better set,

but I don't think his set was very good, so I'm not that worried. The audience was obviously tilted towards you, though, because you're the boy. Right, because I've been on... showing my face for two and a half years to the mere exposure effect. So did it like seem fair

from an objective perspective as someone who very much likes you and loves the show? I thought Rick won. Yeah, it's subjective and I think that like a lot of people think he won. I think that he might have but that's not because he's such a great comedian but because I had a minute. The feud's not actually real

though, is it? It's very real. No, come on. He was so nice to you. What? He was nice. He was like oh good job man. Good job. good job that's so what that's all it takes to forget about all the betrayal so it's okay yeah like i invite him into my house and then he tries to take away my job i was nice really yeah what do you think he was doing the whole time honestly from an outside perspective it felt more like a bit it felt like it was like kind of fake it's a bit where he's pretending to be a little friend

he couldn't actually take your job though no one would fly him in every week that would i would like bankrupt the show well he's just this acting like Like he wants to challenge me. And so, like, yeah, if someone challenges you, it's not a very nice thing to do. Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, he's doing it for himself. I don't respect that. Like, he's just doing it so that he raises his profile at the expense of me and my emotional stress and my career.

My parasycial relationship, I legitimately thought it was fake the whole time. But everything on the internet, like, feels fake. That's so interesting knowing that it was real. Uh-huh. I think, like, prank culture ruined that, you know, where you see anything online and you're like, Oh, it's fake. Yeah. But yeah, I think, like, his set wasn't that good.

I'm not afraid of it. I'm afraid of certain people. Rick Diaz is not one of them. Yeah. Like, Casey Rockett is very funny. Liz Splatt, very funny. Cam Patterson. I'm afraid of these people.

Rick Diaz. I want Cam on this show. They don't even stand a chance next to those people. Like, and his minute wasn't that good. I know my minute sucked because I was, like, preparing in this weird way. But, like, his minute was not. What was your process? Why was it weird?

I guess I just picked a joke that I, liked two months ago and then I just worked it in clubs over and over again and didn't realize that an arena would be a different situation where they're also listening because the joke that I did about squirting requires like a suspension of disbelief and it's uh um it's kind of it's not really logical but I mean that joke does well in clubs yeah I can yeah I like that joke lots of people like that joke. I just don't think it was a good joke to do in an arena because it's just didn't make sense. You think the sabbatical is going to hurt your financial situation? I don't think maybe yes in the short run, but in the long run, no. Where do you think your

career is going to go in terms of income? Like, what's your overall arc and plan? Just to keep making money on the road, getting exposure from doing different shows. Someone who doesn't like to travel on the weekend, though, how long do you think you'd do it until you're burnt out? Well, I don't hate it. I like doing it to a lesser degree than I have been doing it. Yeah. So it's just like a lot. I don't want to do it too much. But yeah, it is fun, like as a comedian to travel.

Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Okay. So you never carry bounces that accrue interest because you pay it off, which is good. So you did talk to your dad a little and he taught you some good things. So that's, that's good. You paid off your previous bounce to $2,886. But you purchased $4,991, which again, we're fucking.

$300,000 a year. So is that really that bad? It's all about percentages, right? Mm-hmm. So we're looking, first of all, taxes. How was that for 20-23s year? It was brutal. I paid like 20,000, I think, in taxes.

How was it only 20,000? Oh, maybe more. Unless you just rode off. Because a lot of stuff is traveling, you're probably eating on the road, stuff like that. But even still, man, it's like, I don't know if it adds up. So what, $25,000 hours a month? I'd see you closer to like maybe a hundred.

Thousand? Yeah. In taxes? Well, you want to set 30% aside. Oh, you said 300,000. So maybe you got it down to about 75 or so, potentially, depending on working with your CPA. You have a good CPA in your corner?

No, no CPA. Oh my gosh. What do you do? Nothing. I did it myself last year. That doesn't make any sense. Did you claim everything? I claimed like three months and then I got tired and I just sent it in.

You're not going to be able to tour on the road. You're going to jes a job. jail. Is it that serious? IRS is not the people we with. Oh, God. But I'll get you connected with someone legitimately after this. That'd be amazing.

I'll help. I got you. Some guy wanted like $5,000. Is that a fair price? Well, potentially, because he probably could save you tens of thousands. Okay. Instead of you just going through like turbotax or something. Is that what you did? That was my plan for this year.

What do you mean for this year? I mean for claiming your 2020. 23 taxes? Yeah. You haven't even claimed your 2020. No, we got until April, right? What's the filing deadline? So I always just do my

So as soon as the year ends, you do your taxes? Well, first of all, you're self-employed. You've been self-employed for three years. So you have to pay penalties if you do not file them quarterly. Oh, shit. I assume none of the taxes you've done have ever been correct. So I'm not sure. Yeah, I need the CPA.

April 15th. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Monday, April 15th. so someone in your situation if you're sitting down with the CPA it's going to take you weeks together all have you saved literally a single receipt from this last year um like i didn't know i just thought the credit card thing would be fine okay so people in very wealthy positions which you're headed towards can face some serious consequences they are the ones who face the serious consequences if the irs comes a knock in a few years later and you're

your taxes for a few years and it looked like you're essentially hiding taxes and just not paying them in general and people have gone to jail for it I'm not saying that's something that's going to happen that's usually a wealthier position than you anyway but for the direction you're heading I want that to be on your radar is like a legitimate fear okay and something to get ahead of you're only a year and a half into making money man but this is something I need you to take care of now so let me give you a contact of a CPA who I work with personally That'd be awesome. Yeah.

It might just be a little too late. That's what I fear is that like it's going to require so much work that he might not take on someone in your position. We can try. But so we're going Uber, the Roxy, the Roxy. Amazon Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber eats. Amazon DoorDash, DoorDash. Amazon DoorDash.

Do you think is most of this when you're on the goal is this when you're home? Amazon and DoorDash is when I'm home. Uber is usually when I'm on the road. but I had my car in the shop for a while, so I was Ubering everywhere. Patreon. Who are you subscribed to on Patreon? The Chapo Trapp House

and Nick Mullen and Adam Friedman's show. Stopping at 711 and gets us a bull-stakitos. Door-Dash, Door-Dash, Amazon Door-Dash. Amazon Door-Dash. Tacos, Amazon, Amazon, Door-Dash. Mayaco? Amazon DoorDash.

Dude. Dude. Choice hotels get you more of what you value. Here's a little tune to help you remember. Remember. Same drive, different day. Don't you wish you were getting away? Pack your bags and come on through.

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You're lazy with your food delivery. Amazon, Amazon, DoorDash, DoorDash, Amazon. parcel DoorDash DoorDash Papa Johns I get Pokedahouse too It's pretty good

It's best pokey and awesome DoorDash Sidebar Uber DoorDash Uber Uber Uber Uber Uber Uber It's crazy Halal Uber Trip

Door Dash Uber trip Amazon Amazon Amazon Paramount Plus What the fuck you There's nothing on there What are you watching Halo? Are you watching the new Halo boat

Because that's sucks. Yeah, you pay for it. The daily show. I pay for Paramount Plus. Daily show, but it's pretty much all uploaded to YouTube. I just paid for it again. Yeah. I like watching the whole show, though.

Casino, Amazon, Amazon, some computer, Azuse computer. Oh, yeah. I bought a thousand dollar monitor and then it broke and I had to pay $700 to fix it. That's probably not financially good. Did you buy it on a credit card? Yeah. Yeah, it was on like, that's it. Yeah.

Did you, how long in between purchasing and it breaking? Like five months. Yeah, okay, fair enough. I was like, man, might be able to dispute something, but five months. Amazon, Uber. It wasn't even like a, who'd you buy it through? I think I bought it from Amazon or ASUS directly. I don't know about ASUS, but Amazon, did you talk to support, man?

Yeah. Okay. Usually they're pretty lenient, but it depends on the product. DoorDash Uber trip Amazon DoorDash Amazon Amazon Amazon Amazon Shakespeare's Pub Amazon Amazon it's a crazy amount of spending But does it really matter? Potentially not

Because if you're making a lot of money If you don't have any bad debt in credit relations You don't have any bad debt It's okay to spend money if it's within certain percentages But you don't own a single stock, do you? No, zero That terrifies me because you're losing compound growth in the market man Yeah

So you're already like 20 is like the perfect time to start investing with even if it's just pennies you being what 34 you've lost a decade and the best decade and a half of your life at compound growth mean you're going to have to work overtime essentially in terms of throwing money in the market to get to the point where you want it to be for you to withdraw three or four percent a year in order to sustain yourself yeah like social security yeah which probably won't exist by the time we retire but so do you think like because i'm asian i'll live longer so it's like 34 is the new 24 for me?

It could. So you can start throwing extra. Maybe you have a little less ketchup to play, yeah. Catchup. Yeah, ketchup in the market. Oh, ketchup. Okay. Then we purchased $5,925 on this credit card.

That's my business card. How nervous do people get when you're looking over there? Are you nervous? Yeah. Oh, I'm nervous. You're nervous for me? No, I'm nervous because I watch Kill Tony. So we're both nervous. It's okay. You don't have to kiss me. I don't get to. Uber, Uber,

Hot Spot, Uber, Facebook, DoorDash, Crows, Uber trip, man, this is food, food, food, smash burger, United. But again, I bet a lot of this stuff, except for the, I mean, the transportation around the different areas, do you have an LLC form just for the sake of, okay, good, because that at least makes organization easy. Are these okay. That's my business card. Yep. So everything business related, I use that so at the end of the year I can just be like, hey, this is all

this stuff. Okay. But sometimes I forget. And this is eating out in Uber trip and eating out an Uber trip in hotels. It makes sense, though, because, I mean, so many in your position, you can't do it. Now, what is this? Mercedes-Benz. That's the repairs on my

truck that costs a lot of money. $1,400 bucks, yeah. They called it in again for $2,000 more. What is it? What's your car? Sprinter van. I drove it here today. Like a year and...

2014 and Freightliner. How many miles? 250,000. Kill me. But you'll be able to buy a car in cash pretty soon. Yeah. That's probably what you're going to have to do. Okay.

I wouldn't lifestyle inflate yourself yet. I mean, you're not a millionaire status. Not yet. I saw a lot of speculation online that you're a multi-millionaire, which was interesting. So I wouldn't want you to go like too crazy and buy something fancy, but we get you a halfway decent car and cash, which you'll have to do pretty soon. Like a Mazda or you think I could get a Lexus? Yeah. Well, really, if I could just keep you in like the 30 to 40,000 dollar range, I'd feel comfortable.

More price ratings versus the car itself. That we just, you'd just write a check, man. Because right now you're going debt free and I'd like to keep you debt free unless you can manage it. And well, actually you can because you pay off your credit cards every month. And that's actually good. Automatic. Yeah. And that's great.

That's great. So what do you think about like the people that are like, hey, get a loan so that you can pay it off? Like at the dealership, they're trying to get me to get a loan. Do you think that's a scam or? What kind of like interest rate were they offering you? I don't know. It was like 300 bucks more. I don't know.

I have no idea. Well, okay. Well, you can finesse it, right? And you demonstrate that you're a credit card person. You know how to utilize credit. There is the potential that you could finesse it. If you got it, if you were able to get an interest rate that was like, like 3% or less, which is what I like to go for for cars in terms of finessing.

So if you get an interest rate at 3% or less, the money that you put down, instead of paying the whole thing in cash, you can throw the rest in the market, and it will beat that 3% plus depreciation of the car most likely. Oh, which is good finessing, but you don't know anything about money. So I probably wouldn't want you to do that anyway, just buy the car in cash. Yeah. Like dealer, like just buy it. But with my new CPA in my corner.

Yeah, he's for taxes. Oh, okay. Not investing. So I got to get a different guy for that. You got to get a different guy for that. Okay, so Wells Farmo Prime checking. This is what's wild to me. This money is losing to inflation.

$127,895 is sitting there. And platinum savings, what are you getting? Like 2% or something? $118,000. And then certificate to deposit. Yeah. So you got a CD-62,000. Why did you choose that?

I don't know. It seems like the safer option. and is at the bank and they told me to get it. They told you to get it? Yeah. They're strong armed to me. Who told you to get it? Like the teller?

Yeah. One of the tellers. It made me $2,000 in like six months. Yeah, it would be making... Buddy, if you... $2,000. How much... Now, past performance is not indicative of future results, but...

When did you put it in? Six months ago? I have no idea. Do you want me to check? No. six months is great. I can do six months. S&P 500 in six months is of 64 points. I'm so nervous. It is my instinctual thing. We can leave this end too. It is my instinctual thing in a situation where like I know you're good with just like knocking back and forth to make some what I find

to be funny. And I think you would be too racist joke, but I can't because I'll get canceled by these. By who? Everyone. Is that happening? There's sensitive people out there. Oh my gosh. Well, it's good content is the death of haters. Yeah. No, that's... So if you have a great Asian joke, just chink it up. I don't have a great one prepared. Okay. But in the moment.

Oh, your control panel on your iPhone has a lot of stuff on it. Is that like... Does it? You got something on every little space. That's really efficient. What am I doing? What am I doing? I got distracted. So your CD, you put in six months ago, 60... How much did you put in?

you made 4,000 you said? So you made 2,300. Okay. I put it in February 22. So it's been almost a year. Oh, it has been a year. Oh, a year. All right, let's do one year, which is up 27.28%.

Okay. It would be worth $76,800 if it was in the S&P 500 instead at that exact time. Nice. So $16,000, almost $17,000. Free money. So this is just showing that you're in such a conservative investment like that. Sure, over the short term, yes, the S&P 500 could have lost money. And I'm not advising to buy any specific stock.

But historically, S&P 500 take all the down years, up years, combine them. It evens out to 10% a year. And comparing that to where you're getting 2% a year on this, that's bigger, 10 or 2. You like to go to the bigger one. Yeah. what about the apocalypse like if the stocks all fall apart yeah you know what happens in that situation money won't fucking matter none of this matters you won't be doing stand-up people are killing each other so it doesn't matter invest while there's no apocalypse happening go buy a

invest in a gun when the apocalypse happens oh i bought a gun also so like if you're playing the money game, you might as well play like it's not going to fall apart in five days. I don't know. I bet in the American economy. Yeah. What do you think? I think it's good. What do you think about the Chinese economy? Well, their population pyramid is terrible. They're having terrible growth rate and no one is immigrating into China

because no one wants to live under that kind of rule. So their whole social safety net's going to be f***. And their economy is already starting to grow slower. So they're going to have good years ahead of them. but long term no where we get a decent amount of immigration to help with our low growth rate of population of people banging yeah so so what do you think about i think america's still on top baby us okay is there like that's that's cool are there any other economies that you would like invest in like france like france i don't know what's going on in france uh i'm just

India? Yeah, India. You think India is better? They like to throw kids in a room and make clothes. I feel like that's good for the economy. Okay. And then, okay, so here's your CD. $62,333.33.

Yeah. And it's at 2.48%. What are we doing? Like, that's not even, you could throw in a treasury for 5.5. You can throw in, like, I put my money, my tax money, I put it in SOFI high yield savings, which is 4.5 right now. that's just a high-yield savings account and it's making almost double

what you're locked in at. Like your bank teller making $10 an hour that doesn't know anything about money gave you really bad advice. You essentially asked the cashier at McDonald's what you should do with your money. Well, how do I get it out?

Let me see if there's any information on this. Terms six months, maturity date. 722, 24. in order to reap the rewards, but it might be worth just, you know, if you get 1% total by taking it out, I'm not 100% sure, but if you get like 1% by taking it out, just throw this in the market, man. Of course, there's always the chance that you take this out, you throw it in the market, the market crash is 30%.

But you don't look at a year. We're not looking at a year. When do you want to retire? 59. So a year doesn't matter. Year doesn't matter. You're going for the 59 and a half so you can withdraw penalty free. wonderful so I want you to start taking advantage of compound growth in the overall marketplace

not going to tell you what to invest in I will say what my portfolio is balanced as for legal reasons this is a legal thing there's certifications required in order to give investing advice oh yeah I know it's very exciting I'm like 80% SMP 500 which follows the overall stock market then I'm about 15% in the queues in the next NASDAQ, which is more tech heavy. So there's a little more risk. There's a little bit more movement there. Better gains, bigger losses than about 5% in individual stocks.

And those are just companies that I believe in that have good numbers behind them. That's what I do. But I mostly just invest in the overall United States economy, the top companies. Nice. And that's what averages about 10% a year from all down years and up years combined. Okay. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do what you just said. For some of your situation that's not.

fully educated on like the the different investment vehicles that you could go into. I'd rather you sit down with a certified investment advisor though, certified financial planner who can like take a look at your money, calculate your goals. And as long as they're not someone who's like trying to get commissions selling different packages and they're literally, they make money if you make money, that's what I would want someone in your situation to do. Okay. So I would probably not do that then.

probably not like just do it on my own is it like robin hood or do you do you go through like a certain emerit trade or so i do fidelity for like my index funds and stuff and then instead of robin hood because they just have uh better rates when you keep your cash in there i use an app called moo moo-moo for my individual stock picks uh but i use fidelity for like my rock you've never like maxed out of rath IRA or like backdoor IRA so you're yeah because i want you to take advantage to tax advantage accounts as well if you're your own business owner i'd want you to have like a self-employed 401k or a step IRA. I'd want you to take advantage of those which can save you some tax monies over the year. That's why since you haven't taken any in terms of

actually paying taxes, the number you said makes sense for if it was for 2022's year. I thought you meant for 2023's year, but you meant what you paid in 20203 for 2022. But what you're paying in 2024 for 23, it's going to be closer to that, 75 to $100,000 if your numbers are correct. And if you're not doing anything to actually take advantage of any tax advantage accounts. And that's what like a solo 401k can do. It can save you a good amount of money. And then, you know, contributing up to the limit of, is it $6,500 or $7,000 now of an IRA. And then you can backdoor, you know, as well, which gets you into a, it's a different

conversation. We'll go there. Essentially, I just want you to be able to take advantage of tax advantage accounts. And that's what's sitting down with like a certified financial planner is going to help you. Okay. So I also have a couple I can recommend for that. I personally do my own stuff on my own and then I like meet with them every couple of years. Just to be like, okay, I'm doing something right here.

But that's because I'm very invested in this. I like to learn as much as possible where you're just like, let's tell a joke in front of a bunch of dumb people. So like, or drunk people. So like you don't think about stocks and you don't need to. So have someone else that does it for you and tries to keep you up to date and informed and educated on what you're doing. That'd be awesome. Yeah. People have requested that I do a live Q&A for a while now, and I'm excited to announce that I finally am.

On Wednesday, March 20th at 8 p.m. Eastern, 5 p.m. West Coast, we have an exclusive live Q&A for anyone taking or has already taken our budgeting program. It has changed thousands of people's lives, and we're constantly receiving testimonials from those saving money and fixing their financial future, showing that we made the best budgeting program in the history of the internet at the best price. Sign up using the link in the description below and join me for the Q&MU. Q&A where I answer your questions live. Business checking $44,000. Are these additional savings, like extra versus the ones we just looked at through Wells Fargo? No.

So this is all the same? Yeah. Okay. Cool. Perfect. Yeah. So someone that makes $300,000 a year, not thrilled. Cash on hand, essentially, including the CD.

The Wells Fargo plan on savings is one fucking percent a year. Kill me. It's 4.5% so far. Our city's like four. You're just losing money to inflation. Flation is close to like 4% now. So like you're losing on that savings 3%. Your money's going down 3% in value.

Plus you have to pay taxes on that gain anyway. It's like 3.5%. You're losing. Damn. Like you're literally losing 3.5%. Just sitting in there rotting away. Yeah. But you have essentially cash on hand up for considering the CD.

$350,660.30. It's okay. But you invest that in the market. Let's say something happens now. You get kicked off the show forever and no one ever wants to tour with you again for whatever reason. So let's say you throw that all in the market. You have no cash on hand. It's all in the market.

And you want to live on that until you retire. You'd only be able to live on $10,609 a year. Until I'm 77? Until you die. Okay. 77. Is that your death year? Yeah, that's the American average.

Oh, okay. So the Asian average, though. You said you're living longer. Yeah. 884 bucks a month. Sick. Like, that's great, right? Yeah.

Is that what you're going to live off the rest of the year? So that's why I want this money to start growing. That's my big fear. The money doesn't grow. You just keep throwing it in there. It loses to inflation. It doesn't grow other than 1% of years. It makes it more difficult.

You need to take advantage of compounding growth. So let's get a compounding. calculator. Yeah, I already took advantage. I already took a look at this account, so we're good. Okay. So this is math. So I assume this is what you like care about, right? Yeah. Math. Math time. Okay, so of this, let's say you keep $50,000 cash on hand. Let's throw $300,000 in the market. Let's start with that. You're 35? You really think you're going to be doing stand-up until 59 and a half? Yeah. Okay. Probably longer. Okay. Cool, cool, cool. What's like, is there like an average life spent, not lifespan, like, success span of a comedian.

Is there like a bell curve on a comedian's success? I don't think so. I think comedy ages like fine wine. Okay. That's what I'm kind of relying on. But like your fan pace can like die out and move on though, right? Yeah, I guess so. I guess if you get super old, I don't know.

I don't really know. Yeah, that would suck if you had old fans. And Seinfeld's still touring and his people are all old, right? Yeah. I think that's the good thing about comedy. It's not like sports where your body decays. No, for sure. But people's interest do move on, especially in TikTok world.

Like, you're on a very popular show right now, and it's not like that same. It's not that same kind of industry, but attention spans. We do move on to the next thing quicker and quicker these days. Yeah. I don't want to be doing that. I'm just thinking investing in like, oh, you know, how long are we going? Yeah. So 300,000 hours a year, let's call it.

That's what you're making. You're setting 30% aside for time. taxes. So $210,000 a year is take home. Okay, let's say you invest 20% of it. So you'll live a lavish life, 50% going to needs, 30% going to want so you can just, you know, do whatever you want. So we're going to invest 20% of it, which is $42,000 a year. This is your income never growing, by the way, which is basically impossible. But on your trajectory, we're going to do 8% for an annual return just doing the overall stock market since the history of its creation. Okay, so 25 years until you start pulling money out, 24 years.

So you put your $300,000 in now keep 50,000 or $50,000 cash on hand and invest $42,000 a year at a return of 8% on average over the course of 24 years will end you up with $38 million. Wow. By the time you retire. Yeah, let's do that. Yeah, let's do that. That's pretty sick. You've got to, in order to do that, you've got to actually start putting money in the market. So I think that's your next step of sitting down with a CFP.

So, I mean, that's my take on your overall situation because your finances aren't bad. You're just not doing the thing that needs to happen someone in your position. And that's, you're in the grow wealth stage of money, which is an exciting part. You just don't know anything about it. Yeah. And that's okay. Food is 3. or 6.3% of your spending or $1,000 is going out to eat. transportation mostly because of uber is 17.4% and travel which is 4,4,24,000 hours a year.

Housing with your rent situation is 4.3% or $1,092 a month. Sorry, these are a month, I think I said a year. Unknown shopping, this is hard, man. It's hard to qualify. It's like, it's Amazon. It's whatever we don't know what it is. This is unknown shopping. $13,717 in the most recent month.

or 54% of your spending. Subscriptions, you must have had something, but it essentially comes down to 0%. Other large purchases, 18% or $4,583. Other large purchases looks like we got some Amazon, United Airlines. So I guess that wasn't in transportation, your computer thing and DGI services.

But again, total income that came in the most recent month was $63,822 in all. that was spent was $25,000. So, I mean, that's pretty good. If that's, if that, that's wants. But of the $63,000, right? You should be setting 3% aside, leaving you with net, 43,400. So you spent about 50%, which is fine, which means you get to invest the other 50%.

Or you could even live a little more if you wanted to. Okay. So 50,000 is a good amount for me. What? 50,000 what? to set a for cash on hand? What is the 50? What you need to survive is very minimal.

So actually I would have 50. First of all, again, every month, check hits, take 30% of it, set it aside. That's taxes. It doesn't exist. But the cash on hand, I'd probably put $20,000 in savings as an emergency fund as a business owner. That would take you about a year because your actual living expenses are very minimal. So $20,000 is what I put aside for your business. business, I'd probably have about $50,000 in your business checking account.

Again, that just gives you that extra comfort. If things just, touring slows down, whatever, pandemic happens and you just can't do shows for a bit. And then your personal checking account and probably keep about $10,000 in there. So across everything, not including taxes, what is that? $100,000. Yeah, $90,000 to $100, you know. So maybe we're investing $250,000 right now, keeping $100 distributing in those different ways.

Yeah. I think that gives you a good base level of comfort. Then we're still taking advantage to compound growth. I was thinking of moving apartments and getting a better place. What's your rent right now? $1,050. Okay, and what do you want? Like $2,000, $3,000?

Sure. $4,000? Well, you want me to tell you your max? Yeah. Your max would be stupid. Let's do your average, $300,000 a year. You get to keep 70% of it. for the course of 12 months.

Well, let's call it $17,000. So you had a really good month. Yeah, this one, I've been out every weekend in January. Okay. Absolute max that I would never want you to go over is $5,250. Okay. That's a lot. I would never go over that anyways.

I was saying like $3,000 max. I can't just do it. Yeah, okay. Thank you. 3,000. Go for it. Totally fine. That's like your,

I'd be uncomfortable once you hit that number. I'd be uncomfortable you approaching that number, but that's your hard limit. HARTCIMA. is unpredictable. But you can flare less with ebbglis. A once-monthly treatment for moderate to severe eczema. After an initial four-month or longer dosing phase,

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That's so good to have. How has no one talk to you? I'm so confused. How have you not sat down with your comedian friends and just seen what they were doing with money? Because they always make a joke about everything. No one can have a serious conversation? I guess they can, but they don't like to. Like this is what they got into comedy to avoid is so they didn't have to bust out a calculator.

This took us 45 minutes. It wasn't that crazy. But it's the lifetime of brain knowledge that you have. have that you can use it. Like I'm just like saying words and cash on hand and like, is that doing something for you? I have no idea what any of this is like a spell. And I'm Asian. I'm not even the worst.

My producer who I make him work constantly to deliver shareholder value wants you to roast me for his own pleasure. So if you want to give me a roast session, this is it. It's pleasing the investors. Yeah. Caleb. you are fat you are explaining poor people like Dr. Phil

and they don't even get to throw chairs here you guys have like a chair throwing guy you guys should be watching out for that you guys should have security here it's good turn into Dr. Phil real quick Caleb you have like a way of talking to people that's not very human which is great

because sometimes we need a calculator just spit us numbers and stuff you have an unblinking stare you're just taking in information

and just compounding it and analyzing it all the time is great I wish I was better at this I just think you're a cool guy man I think that you guys have fun I saw you like in a car on one of your Instagram stories.

You guys were in the cyber truck. Yeah. You have seen have a fun life. You seem to like be able to be like a hard nose like, you know, like Mr. Nanny when it comes to finance. But then when it comes to having fun, you're like, okay. This isn't a roast. You're being nice.

Well, you don't want to be called Mr. Nanny. Oh, you can call. Yeah, sure. You're a little like, little like mean and strict when it comes to. finance because you're like ah you know you love like getting to that point where you're like we got to get down to business and got to do this and shit but then like when it comes to fun you're like okay well i'm the i'm the weird boring guys so you guys have fun um but i don't know much about you man i think you're a great guy and i think like you are probably like a lot of fun and fun

social situations and i i can't wait to get to know you and hopefully we can go out and you know we could fly my drone together if you want. Yeah. And other legendary roast by comedian Hans Kim. I'm not really a roast guy. I'm more like, you know, like, this guy.

Yeah, you are the suss guy. You just broke up, didn't you? Yeah. Dating scene can be expensive. If we loop it back to money, it's a money show. Money show, how much you spend it on each individual girl to try to take them back home I know that's your thing. Not a lot.

Maybe like 40 bucks, 80 bucks max a night. Is that what it costs for you to get your fill? Yeah. $80 max? That's not that bad. Yeah, it's like five drinks. No, I'm getting drunk too. I'm taking three drinks.

She's taking two. Well, I guess for me, because I'm drinking the drink. I'm taking advantage, so I don't count that as a cost. You like to be taking advantage of? Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, I want them to take me and do with me. I want to be a, my body is for the people, just for the women.

I did some investigation. I mean, the people that you're with are objectively attractive. I mean, like the people that I kissed on the show, the first that never talked to me. There was like someone you were with it like Barton Springs or something. They're like, they were like Hans is with his girl. Oh, that's Morgan. That's my girlfriend's friend. Oh, that's not good.

I was going to say you're like a solid three, right? and but she was like a eight. Okay, well, I've been mewing. I've been breathing through my nose more, so I'm trying to up that number. But yeah, I mean, I'm not trying to be the physical guy. I'm not like a hot guy. I'm more like a guy that's, you know, just like...

I saw a video on the platform that loves you the most Reddit, where on 6th Street, after like a show or something, there was like this girl, and you kept trying to grab her hand and hold her hand, and she just rejected you the whole time. She was flaunting around. Yeah, that's pretty much my relationship with her is like she's out having fun and I'm just trying to grab her hand and trying to touch her. Yeah, so you can take her back home.

Right, okay. Yeah, drag her back. But yeah, no, she's wild. She's crazy. I love that about her. Is that she's living her life. Oh, okay. I was going to say she broke up with you.

So I was like, I'm glad you still enjoy her. That's nice. I love the idea of her. I love who she is. She's great. I mean, we built all this. skyscrapers and iPhones for the approval of females. And if the females aren't enjoying it, then who is this all for?

And we just destroyed the rainforest so we could all be miserable. So I like to see people taking advantage of their power in life. Women have a lot of power. And there's going to see them using it. You're taking advantage of your power dynamic is what people would say. Yeah. I'm taking advantage of mine. Well, that's why I respect party people so much is because I see

like, oh, they're taking advantage of it, of whatever they have to, like, try to gain as much endorphins as possible. It's like, that's what everyone's doing late at night. They're just trying to get more happiness than... You big party guy? You out there raging? No, I get tired really easily. Dude, me too. We're playing, I was playing games with my friends before they flew back to England last night. It was 10.30 and I was like dying. I was dying. But, like, comedians, you have to stay up late. Shows are late. Yeah, probably sleep in late. Yeah, my thing is later. So, like, yeah, it's just shifted. but I get tired, I got to go home.

I can't always stay up. And, you know, it's hard to make conversation with people. It takes a lot of energy. That's what our brains are designed for us, like taking cues and taste signals and say something. And then they say something back. So it's like. So we're both miserable right now. Yeah.

Good. Well, I think we're going to audit your dating profile from our dating professional here in this show. So I'm going to let. I have to download Tinder. Yeah, yeah. Get on that Tinder. Tinder. We're still on Tinder.

You haven't evolved me on Tinder. No, I hate dating apps. Like you said, I'm a three. I'm not out here trying to put my face. That's not my strong suit. I got to go where I belong. It's not. You got the body.

You're a butter face. Thank you, man. Yeah, I wish I was mean or two. I should have something mean I could say. I know. I know. You pulled out the fat card. Fat's classic.

But like, I mean, dig in on it a little bit. Pull some rolls jokes or something. I don't know. You're in, you're telling me. invest in the standard and poor you're investing in your caloric intake just saving it up compounding interest no zempic joke no insulin all right that's what david lucas would be great at

severely disappointed i'm more of like a kind of a rye sort of like a weird nerdy guy taking advantage of poor people is that what that's what that's what that's what no or wrote down yeah really is reddit okay so I'm gonna let Noah come in. He's gonna, you wanna give us a screen recording so you can save that. Yeah.

I don't do well on dating apps. It's just like, you know, it's so crazy. Like, I do way better in person. But I guess I could do it. I just don't like the rejection. Y'all, this is the time to switch to my favorite high-yield savings account. With SOFI, you can get 4.6% on your money. I hate when my money is just losing value,

so make sure you're keeping up with inflation at the very least. You can also get FDIC and. insurance on that money up to $2 million with them. Plus, they'll give you money up to $300 when you set up in account with them. There's even extra perks like being able to get paid a couple days early. So far is what I use when I'm setting money aside and it is the banking app of the future. Sign up, link in the description below. I always want my money to be making more money.

So don't lose money on yours. So do you have any interest in improving your online dating profile at all whatsoever? Yeah. It'd be great to get easily. Got it. I mean, it's not easy. I think that like if you have like, okay, you're rich and famous. It should be easy for you to go while.

And you're a comedian. Like you should. Caleb doesn't think so. Why not? He thinks I'm poor. Well, you could be richer. And I agree with Caleb. Like, it's really funny to see that you have all this money in a check account.

It's like, bro, go put it in anywhere. Like, I don't know. Cool. So I don't know. So basically you've got this picture of you zoomed in as much as possible. What was the thought process behind this one? You were just like, I want to show them who I am. I just don't.

I don't want like a photo with me holding a mic, which is most of my photos. Why not? Because it just makes me look like a comedian. Yeah, and you are a comedian. I know. I don't want them to f*** a comedian. I want to get it like totally on the off grid. Got it.

Now, does this photo support that? What was the thought process behind this one? Well, it looks more horizontal when you're picking the photo. Yeah. So it shows me like, hey, I'm social. I can talk to people. Well, what I'm seeing here is this man's, back is what I'm seeing. A lot of it is his back. And that shows that I'm not insecure. Like,

I'm okay with another man. It's back in my dating profile. Yeah. I, well, okay. Interesting. Now this one, this shows to me that you've never been inside of a gym in your entire life. Is that about- I do like a little doughy. But it's like old man strength. Okay. I'm going for, uh, yeah, just showing off my body, I guess. I mean, it's my ribs are more. to find that my muscles. That is true. That is true. Do you have a tattoo?

Is that a tattoo? Yeah, kill Tony tattoo. Oh, sick. Up a right chest. Did he do that? Did he make you do that? Yeah, he brands all of us. Caleb said like you're his little boy.

He kept calling you like his, like Tony's little man or something. I don't know. Oh, man. Yeah. This episode is brought to you by Ultima Replenisher. Health is all about balance, like a salad with fries. So why not have balance in your hydration? With six essential electrolytes and no.

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Like his little doll. Does he like own you? Well, I hope so. I would love to be owned by him. It's really lucrative. But yeah, I don't think I'm worthy of the title of Tony's slave. Got it. Now that's kind of how I feel about my relationship with Caleb. Caleb kind of owns me and I kind of love it.

It's kind of nice. Oh cool. And then and then you liar you here you are doing stand-ups. I have one. Yeah. One that's okay. Sure, okay. But it's also from like 10 years ago. No it's not. That was recently. This was recently? When was it? Yeah. Like young. This was like literally like this year, January or December. That was this year? Yeah. Wow. Okay. I'm I suck. Um, interesting. Okay. Cool. I think I look like that right now? Not at all. Maybe it's just the hair.

I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know. You're wearing a different shirt too. You guys don't have a makeup person here. That's true. I can take 10 years off me. Sick.

You're wearing makeup in this one? This is a shitty photo. Cool. If you really want my input, this is a very, this is a very. Can you go look through my things and pick a photo? I mean, we probably can't screen record all the photos. But can I, yeah, we'll blur that. We'll blur that.

Brandon, everybody in post, do that. Let's go full access. And we're going to pick a photo. Also, by the way, this is all very subjective. And so the shit I pick. Also, if I do this in two seconds, like, it's not going to be great. It can't be worse than what I did. Fair.

Oh, this is funny. There's you after a dental surgery. I feel like I'm really, I'm really, you, I mean, like, dude, your Instagram, I feel like is, popping off, yeah? Yeah. Okay, Hans Kim. This is, okay, here's the thing. You're rich, you're famous, right?

and you and and and and you're good right are you cool with like capitalizing on those strengths in your profile or you're going to try to make me a dude what are you talking about what like you're rich you're famous go f*** dude now it's that's that's that i don't just my mind he told me everything i'm doing is wrong now i'm feeling like you're doing the same thing and you're going to try to make me i really if you want to f*** dude i will i guess i can try to help but like i that was not dating coach isn't that like such a great solution to a lot of guys' problems? I mean, honestly, so one, I'm not a dating coach

because what the fuck is a dating coach? That's ridiculous. What I would like to do is make it eventually, when I have some free time in this studio, I would like to make a common sense online dating advice show, right? That's, I think, very different than a dating coach because a dating coach to me is someone who sells you a course and is a scumbag.

So I don't want to do that. You want to be like the Jordan Peterson of dating. You want to tell them to make their bed and brush their teeth? I mean, honestly, like, yeah. for most guys for most guys the advice boils down to like hey become a better person and like be cooler and be better and like get richer and get fit and you will like it will become way easier um if we're going to pick a picture of you um let's go to head shots okay literally any one of these pictures would be like you could literally do any of these and they're like oh this is just like

a fake guy he's not like a real person dude this picture right here is a banger which one you're You're not going to like this because it is going to be, if we went with that, you're smiling. It says that you do stand-up, right? That to me is like a solid first picture, right? Thank you. If you are rich, famous stand-up comedian, do you have a photo with somebody else who is famous? You were on fucking Rogan, dude. Like, oh yeah, we should put that in the tender.

Yeah. You and Joe Rogan? If you're trying to, like, you know, show your current girlfriend that you're, or current ex-girlfriend that you kind of live with or whatever. If you're trying to like dunk on her, then put you and Rogan in this. We can get you really going out in this city. Do you have a picture of you and Rogan?

Probably on Instagram. Sick. Also, your Instagram's great. You could just take stuff from your Instagram and put it up there. Do you have any hobbies outside of comedy? I like drone flying. Yeah, that's kind of really nerdy. Look, the screenshot.

Sick. Okay, well, that's not going to work. You didn't, you didn't, like, pose for one. I did. Oh, you did? Yeah. Oh, okay. That's what I mean.

That's perfect. Okay. Okay. Dude, you're, oh my God. You're with Chappelle. I have a capelle. Bro. How are you?

What are you? This is insane. You want me to just use famous people to get laid? I, I guess, okay. I mean, look, I agree with you that there is a little moral dilemma there. It's a quandary. Okay. You don't want to, you know,

be with people for the wrong reasons. That said, if you're trying to get laid, absolutely. Is that fair? Like, yeah, if that's your goal. Are you trying to meet a soulmate or are you trying to like, you know? I would like to meet a soulmate that I can, you know, have a casual relationship with. Got it. And then eventually turn into a child or something? Yeah, yeah, sure. Okay, sick. Well, I mean, this way you could have many casual relationships. Yeah, it increased my odds. There you go. Okay, so we've got you doing comedy. We've got you would Joe Rogan, I'm going to delete this cringe machine picture.

Or is it cool if I delete some of these? Yes, please. Okay, we're going to delete, we're going to delete cringe machine picture that says, I've never been in a gym in my life. I'm also going to delete man's back from your profile. Is that cool? That's very smart. Sick, okay.

What about the super close-up selfie? Super close-up selfie? I mean, we're going to nuke the whole thing, but like we need things to replace it with. So, I don't know. Okay, can I hit your Instagram really quick? Yes. Sick.

Just don't respond to any of the dudes Yeah The thirsty dudes coming for you Yeah Why do you think I've f*** dudes Do you think I give like a I just thought that's what you were going to tell me to do Got it

Like I looked at your Tinder It's hopeless The only shot now Is to be a bottom I mean You might be a great bottom You know I never say never do you

I don't know How about something like this? That was great, yeah? I look harmless. You do look harmless. Do you just screenshot it? I mean, yeah, why not? Hard to download a photo off Instagram.

For now, let's do it. I just won't show my body off anymore. Look, I'm in Korea. That's sick. But there's nothing like Korea about that, you know? Make sense? How about me and my boys at the PC bottom? No.

Would you fuck somebody who wants to sit in a PC chair and play video games with you? Oh, look. That I like, do that one. Okay. Screen cap that one. We'll throw it in there. There's my drive. I like that.

That is way better. You can not see your like tummy flab or whatever. It's a sign of wealth. What, tummy flab? That's true. That's true. Is it cool if I'm told to you? Aren't you kind of a professional on stage to other people?

Yeah, but I can't take it. I can't make this shit. This is, look at this. I don't know what this is. Who's Juju? It's an island in Korea. Got it. Nobody cared.

Okay, cool. Now, you're correct. Should you, you know, exclusively farm your clout to get laid? Probably not. That said, are you trying to create something that is going to be successful? If so, like, I think this is going to get you a lot more attention than the other thing. Would you agree with that? Yes.

Okay. I don't think they'll mind either. I think Joe Rogan be like, hell yeah. I also want to clarify that I, you'd probably have to, so I don't use Tinder because Tinder was developed a decade ago. And I do use Hinge though. And so the other answer here is make a hinge profile if you want to. Yes. I'm going to do this profile on Hinge because it's the same thing, right? It's just a different skin. Yeah, that's true. And Bumble? What do you think about Bumble? I think Bumble's good. My other piece of advice is that when, so part of the reason why

Tinder, I think, is less good is because, like, their prompts stuff is not, like, there's no, like, prompts built into this. And I really like the prompts, or actually, I think they're out of prompts. No, they're not. And with your prompts, everybody writes three prompts, and then they never do it again. If you actually are trying to make a really good profile for dating, write 20 prompts, just like comedy, right? Like, how many jokes do you write that just suck? Like, zero. You only write good jokes? Yeah. Okay. Well, typically my experience from writing jokes, because I've written a lot of sh** jokes, is you write 20 jokes and then you take the top three or the top five, and that's your set, right? Right. Same thing for dating profile, in my opinion. So it tells you

which one people responded to most? So it doesn't, but that's why you use your brain and your thoughts. You better edit it yourself. Yeah, I would actually write, I'm a loser and I like online dating, so I would like write them down on my notes app and I do like 20 different things. And then I'm like, Okay, out of these 20, which ones are the funniest ones, which ones like are actually the most descriptive of who I am and do that. Cool. This profile to me, is this my best work? Probably not. We're going to wrap it up.

Is this my best work? Probably not. There's your first, second. Hey, he's famous. Cool. He looks good. Oh, he goes outside occasionally and I don't see a big flat, fabi tummy. And then, oh, sick.

Here's a cool poster that he's on. Cool. I also think that your description needs a lot of work because it doesn't give any. information about you at all whatsoever so I would write some cool clever things about you give you that you start swiping the other thing is you got to I would definitely get premium which people can roast me in the comments for but like premium will put your profile at the top of hinge for I would do hinge personally but yeah and hinge premium will like put you on the top of everybody's stack so

that means you can increase your number of impressions so if you're paying money to get more yeah who is the prostitute I think I am in a way okay because you're paying money for But there's no... Did you punch somebody? Prostitution. Yeah, a little bit. Not somebody, just...

Something. The wall. Yeah. Why? Because the girl. That was a part of it. Dude, it was great meeting you. I bet you're really funny.

I'm gonna go watch your stuff. Okay, well, you don't have to. Thanks, man. All right, let's close it out. Let's get your hammer financial score. So we have a score here. This is how we rank your overall finances. Zero being the worst, 10 being the best.

Where do you think you are? Zero to 10. Five is average, like in terms of like how much money I have or how much how I'm using it. Your overall financial picture. Overall. Overall, I would say I'm a seven. Which is better than a three physically. So I'm outbatting my looks.

It's a mess. Why did you make such a mess? Watch your hammer financial score. Description below. It's free. I break it down by categories and then we do an overall score. The only one that has to do with age is retirement. your retirement's going to suck

but that's okay spending in a budget I mean you're it's fantastic it's great the only reason why it's not going to be a 10 out of 10 is because you're not contributing things to retirement and it's literally just sitting in saving so that spending isn't like perfect

but it's going to be 8 out of 10 which is great one of the best we've had on the show debt you don't have any debt yeah my parents paid for my college yeah that's 10 out of 10 emergency are your parents rich yeah my dad is

Really? Yeah. Is that why you don't like care? I guess so, because I always know I have a golden parachute at the end of the day. But yeah, I try to care. I try to have fear. You have a fully funded emergency fund, so that's 10 out of 10 retirement. You don't have anything in retirement.

Let's count that CD's retirement as getting started. So I'll give you a three for your age. But you need to start shifting things over there. That's obviously your big failure. Zero out of ten for real estate because you don't own any real estate. Yeah. Well, you have some. You said, oh.

My dad is something. He has it or is it under your name? It's under my name. I think he has to die for me to get anything out of it. Well, then you don't have to have any more gay conversations. That's pretty good. Which I don't want him to die, but I think I might be rich if he dies. But I don't...

That's the retirement. That's the retirement plan. Kill my dad. It's all coming together. All right, I'll give you five out of ten for the real estate since you own some. in your own name. Yeah, I have to sign things. I'm going to say four or ten because I don't think you know.

Well, that's okay. I'm glad investments isn't out there. You nailed it. Oh, seven out of ten. Thank you, man. Make sure to check out all of the resources linked in the description below. They are what I use or would use in specific situations, including the best budgeting program in the history of the internet.

Thanks to all of our Patreon producers for making this episode possible. If you want to participate in an episode of Financial Audit and you're able to make it Austin, Texas, please fill out an application in the survey linked in the description below. You can also send a link to your friends or family who you think might be good to be on the show. If you have any questions, you can email casting at calebhammer.com.