Financial Audit - Financial Audit's Biggest Crashout

Episode Date: April 28, 2025

▶THIS IS GROSSSS- we fully dive into her personal life and I find out exactly how many people she cheated with 🤮🤮🤮 : https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLe_q9axMaeTbjN0hy1Z9xA/join ▶▶Download my *budgeting app* today: *Apple:* https://apple.co/4iChGhr *Google Play:* https://bit.ly/sb-googleplay Don't overcomplicate this crap! All you need is an automated / SIMPLE budget. This comes with automatic account connections, my budget-friendly cookbook, an online community, and exclusive discounts on my products- change your financial future *NOW* ▶▶▶ *AND REMEMBER* those who sign up for Simpler Budget Premium *annual* get a signed versions of the Cook Book and Simpler Budget Founders Edition Journal, just send proof of annual here: https://tally.so/r/3xzPq5 Use the Caleb Hammer credit card finder for free today to find the credit card for your needs, powered by Agent.Ai : https://agent.ai/agent/Caleb-Hammer-Credit-Card-Finder Get the Auraglow teeth whitening strips on Amazon https://go.auraglow.com/amazon/HdVo ▶▶▶Download my *budgeting app* today: *Apple:* https://apple.co/4iChGhr *Google Play:* https://bit.ly/sb-googleplay ▶ Watch this episode's *POST* *SHOW* + get *MORE* Financial Audit here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLe_q9axMaeTbjN0hy1Z9xA/join ___________________________________________ ▶EDUCATION: *FINANAL LOW PRICE CHANCE* 1. *LAST CALL FOR 40% OFF TOTAL DISCOUNT* Bundle my budgeting, debt, investing and real estate program https://calebhammer.com/classpack/ 2. *LAST CALL FOR 25% OFF* The best budgeting program online: https://calebhammer.com/budget 3. *LAST CALL FOR 25% OFF* Get my investing class and I’ll give you a $100 moomoo cash reward: https://calebhammer.com/investing 4. *LAST CALL FOR 25% OFF* Win with GOOD debt and get out of BAD debt correctly, learn in my debt program: https://calebhammer.com/formula 5. *LAST CALL FOR 25% OFF* Everything you need for buying your first home to buy your first investment property: https://calebhammer.com/realestate/ 6. Get your own free Hammer Financial Score: https://www.calebhammer.com ___________________________________________ ▶RESOURCES 1. Get an exclusive HighLevel 30-day trial: https://gohighlevel.com/calebhammer 2. Checking & Savings: Get up to 3.80% APY, pay no account fees, and earn up to $300 when you sign up and set up direct deposits. Terms apply: https://creator.sofi.com/c/5535481/2068695/19219?adcampaignid=bank&adnetwork=brand *affiliate link 3. Click this link https://j.moomoo.com/Caleb to get up to $150 in Cash Rewards from moomoo U.S when you make a qualified deposit + earn 8.1% on uninvested cash for a limited time for new users!! Terms and Conditions apply. Securities are offered through Moomoo Financial Inc. (MFI), Member FINRA/SIPC. The creator is a paid influencer and is not affiliated with MFI and their experiences may not be representative of other moomoo users. Investing is risky. 4. Get $20 from Acorns for free: sign up to get your bonus https://acorns.com/caleb 5. CourseCareers: Land a high-paying job with no experience or degree by going through an affordable online course https://coursecareers.com/CalebHammer 6. The credit building debit card: First 100,000 people to sign up for Fizz with code: HAMMER10 get $10: https://www.joinfizz.com/caleb (paid ad) 7. Advising: Book your free strategy session https://dmnmny.co/caleb to work with Adrianna or any of the other CFPs at Domain Money today! 8. Helium Mobile: save a ton on your phone bill, sign up and get a FREE plan when using promo code CALEB https://hellohelium.com/ 9. Online security: Protect your online privacy and security NOW and for free by following my link Aura: https://aura.com/hammer 10. Therapy: Make SonderMind your mental health home in 2025. Sign up at: https://pages.sondermind.com/caleb/ 11. Build you own stan store: https://www.stan.store/?ref=CalebHammer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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2025 all rights reserved must provide a recent consumer mobile bill in the name of the person reggie me the deal additional terms conditions and restrictions apply to watch episodes of financial audit a week earlier check us out on youtube you're kind of crazy you just now figure that out your debt went up you mean like on credit cards that is a debt are you okay so like you're good with numbers and can't read are you blanking me or are you stupid had I die tomorrow, this wouldn't matter. You're done. How what am I supposed to see? I told you things you shouldn't be spending on in you. What if I didn't listen? Download my budgeting app today and take control of your money once and for all. And for a limited time only sign up for the annual version

of premium and get my cookbook and notebook signed and mailed directly to you. Link in the description and pin comment below. Hi, my name is Alexandra. I'm 30 years old. I'm from El Paso, Texas, and this is financial audit. Thanks for coming over. So what do you do there for living? I am in the military and I have a side business. It's a lash business. What are you in the military?

I'm in the military. We have lots of post military. We don't usually have a lot of in military. What do you do? I technically drive the dragon trucks, the dinosaur trucks. That's my job. What the fuck you're talking about? Do I have to serve to know that?

Okay. What is your position? Or what branch are you in? I'm a driver. So I'm in the Texas Army National Guard. Oh, is that full-time? It's part-time. Oh. Well, you can be full-time and part-time.

But you're part-time? I'm part-time. But you have a side gig. I do have a side-gig. How part-time is part-time? Part-time is like three to four days a month. Okay. Listen, that sounds like the side gig.

If it's three to four days a month. Why is there a side gig for the side gig? It's not a side gig. It's my job title. I'm just not on orders. Like, I don't do it full time. But it's not full time either. Exactly.

So you have a side gig for a side gig. Kind of. I mean, no. Not really. Okay. Well, what do you make from the Texas National Guard? Um, like $300. Okay.

So it's a side gig. Okay. I'm just talking math-wise. Whatever the title is. Come on. If we're being real, you're not living off of $30, $300 a month. Okay. Obviously, Caleb.

I'll write down a sick, $300 a month. Woo! We're making it. Okay. And what does your side gig make? What is it? I make 35 to 4,000 a month. There, that is money. We'll call 4,000 hours a month total.

Add them both together. What's your side gig? It's a z-lash. It's his lash business. I do lashes. I do eyelash extensions. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just looking at yours.

Okay, my lashes are not done. Uh-huh. But I wasn't going to say it. So what do you do? I'm a licensed eyelash technician. Okay. And I put on lashes on women. Cool.

How many hours a week do you do that? Like 20 to 30 hours. It's not bad. I mean, so are you getting paid hourly? Do you get commissioned for different lash jobs? I haven't set up to where I make like $60 an hour, but average sets take me like 90 minutes. So when you say you have it set up, what are you doing? Are you going into someone else's place?

or are you just going to people? No, I rent a suite and a salon. Oh, yes. I'm a cello. I've accidentally walked through places like that, yeah. It's weird. It feels like a mall. A mall for getting things done to your face.

Yeah. Okay. And had. Interesting. Well, $4,000 a month. El Paso, definitely on the, not the expensive central and eastern part of Texas. So how are we living?

How are we doing? How are you feeling? feeling? Great. My wife is rich. Wife? Okay. How long have we been together? Wait, your wife is rich? Yeah. She's full-time military. Same branch. And that's rich? Well, she makes... Wait, what's her rich? What's rich? Like, she makes a lot of money monthly. How much? What do you mean?

Well, because is it rich or not? Like, let's find out. From like 8,500 to 10,000. Okay, so she's definitely like upper middle class, gotcha. Okay, rich could be like, she's making like millions. Are you saying I'm lower class because I have my own business? No, I think you're middle class, which is great and awesome and entrepreneurial and I love that. But when I hear rich, I think rich is like, fucking like, oh, they can do whatever. Well, it's pretty rich for some people. Okay, okay, that's not the point.

Okay. You use the term out whatever. It doesn't matter. Okay, so an upper middle class wife, good. How long have you guys been together? Um, like 15 months. Does she not? So it's a pretty young marriage.

Okay. Is she 30 as well? Well, married for like five months. So it's very young marriage. Wait, you've only been together in general for 15 months? Yes. But married for five. Yeah.

Wow. Okay. So interesting. How old is she? She's 35. Okay. Very good. Anyone bringing, I assume you guys haven't had kids together, but does anyone

bringing in kids into the relationship? I have two kids. You have two kids. I do have two kids. What about her? No kids. How old are your kids? Nine and eight.

Where'd that come from? My first marriage. You've already been married. Three times. Yeah, don't get married. What the what are you doing? I would say yes, get married to the person you love that you want to be with for the rest of your life. This is your third or fourth?

This is my third. This is the third. Okay. Statistically for you. you, I don't know. And two women also. Well, no, two women together. I mean, statistically highest divorce rate.

Well, it's two women out of three marriages. So. Have you been married with women or men? Not that it matters. The first one was a guy. And is that the babies? Yes. Okay.

That's the baby's dad. The baby's dad. Baby daddy, sure. Last wife. Well, ex-wife was. It was. Okay. Was what?

Woman. Oh, okay. Obviously, it's an ex-wife. Gotcha. So, okay, what are we talking about today? Because if the new wife, the new fresh-found marriage, which I'm sure will be the third of about 20. Easy. Well, just going off of your consistency.

Wow. What? Have you seen the show before? I promise. Huh? It's the third and it's the last. I promise. It doesn't mean anything to me.

I don't care. All right. So, okay. So, 4,000 hours a month. Obviously, we're focused on that. You have a lot of debt. But if we have a rich wife legally married, what is the financial situation in the household?

Are you guys together? What are we doing in terms of finances? Because this is fucking insane. Do you guys see how much this is? I haven't had this much paperwork since borderline. And we had a theme to week called Fat Sack Week. This is crazy. This is crazy.

So what the fuck is going on? Well, she has a lot of debt. She! So this is not just you. This is both of you. I've only contributed 15 months of that. Well, that could be. I don't know how much is accumulating.

What debt isn't a time? What the fuck? It's a number. I don't know. Because she was married before me. You were married before. hurt. I'm saying she was married before me

and all of this existed before I did. I just maybe made it worse a little bit. Hop, hop, hop. Okay, so we're just it's fucking duck, duck goose. Okay, so. Gotcha. How many marriages that she had? Um, I'm her second

and last. You seem sassy. Well. Okay. This is out of the gate. We haven't talked about anything. It's like, He's going to calm them. Okay.

I get it. It's a far drive from El Paso. So. I flew. But yes. Well, then you should be fine. I don't know what the fuck you're on about. Well, cause I had two hours asleep, Caleb.

Okay. Okay. So are you saying all? You said I only contributed 15 months of this. I didn't say all. I said maybe 15 months. That's not even what I just said. I just said that.

I said you, oh my, my, I just said you, you said you contributed 15 months to this. I don't know what 15 months. months equates to it's 15 months this much it's 15 months this much it's 15 months this much it's 15 months what's 15 months because this isn't months these are numbers i don't know how what what is you what is her why is she not here why i'm only talking to you what's happening because she's in the military and she's active duty so she can't be here she couldn't be here today okay okay so remember she's full-time i'm part-time i don't know what but you guys are in el paso are we and are we invading new me Mexico? I don't know what's happening. So household income. What's the household income on a monthly basis? Do you know? Are you guys combined financially?

We recently just combined. Okay. There's a step. Did you know about all her debt going into this? I didn't. Why are we married? Oh, because you guys move very quick. Well, so lesbians do. That's what I was saying. What was the question? I don't remember. So. Neither do I. in here, what's the household income? That's what I asked. What comes in on a monthly basis? What has the account? Total on both ends, $14,000 a month.

It's incredible. Why are we in debt? What's happening? Well, we recently just joined finances, which, if I'm being completely honest, I kind of regret doing. Why? Well, this is the forever person, though. Okay. It is, but I didn't...

Now her stuff is, like, stressing me out. I don't have as much stuff as she does. Yeah, because you got married before we met each other's parents. Well, obviously. Oh, actually? That's actually not good, probably. I don't know your relationship with your parents, but that's probably not good. Okay, so we moved into this quick.

You didn't even know her debt? No, I didn't know her debt. What's that? You don't go on a first date and be like, hey, so what's your credit score? Even though people actually just joke about that kind of stuff. Yeah, you're right. Nothing happens between the first date and marriage. Are you fucking stupid?

What are you talking about? I'm you don't know you didn't you guys were together for 10 months before marriage right yeah I guess did you have more than one date yes okay so why didn't you guys ever talk about money when who when do you guys how long are you engaged how long are you engaged we were engaged for four months I think you guys were only dating for like six seven months okay first of all we were dating for two weeks and then she moved in okay I'm telling you it's a gay thing I just thought it's not it's a lesbian thing I thought she had a handle on things She was married before me

Ex-wife didn't work Stay-at-home wife They were married for seven years And she didn't work And so Which one didn't work? Which one didn't work? Her ex-wife didn't work

So she was a stay-at-home mom She also had kids So I was just putting things Wait, wait, wait Does your wife have biological children? No, she does not. Okay, so the kids have not come

So it's just your kids It's just my babies I'm building the picture, keep going Yes So her ex-wife didn't work for seven years and she's been in the military for a very long time, and I just assumed, you know, two plus two equals four.

She has it handled. Wife is not working. Two kids. She makes enough money. Her being in the military has your hand. Those are the people that are usually most of the money. Well, and mental health.

They gave us a bad rap. It's not, well, I don't know. This doesn't help the situation either. Yeah, but why did you assume that? Why wouldn't you guys? Why wouldn't you guys have one conversation? Does she know about your finances? No.

Oh my fuck. So, who proposed? She did. It came up in conversation that her credit score was like 700. So I was just like, oh, shit. Well, I guess it used to be. Does she know her own finances? I think so.

She just doesn't like to tell me. So you kind of suggested you regret a combining accounts. Why? Just the debt or what's happening? Because it's stressful. It's fucking stressful. Like a lot of it is on her end. And I just.

What's the stressful part? Just the debt? Is she blowing all the money? Both. Like if we have 14,000 hours a month, net. Right? You would think it's El Paso, Texas.

There's a lot of fucking money. Yes. So why? Maybe you can answer that. Maybe you can answer that. Can you not answer that? It's because we both have unreasonable spinning habits and it stresses me out. Okay.

So it's not just her. is now. So it's not just her. She has the debt, but you both have the spending habits. That's what you just said. I'm saying the debt that existed before I did. I know. I have now accrued because we're married.

But you can leverage this massive household income to pay off that debt, but you're not willing to cut back in your spending. Do you view it as her debt? Not your debt as well. Well, obviously, with your language, you viewed it as her debt. You guys don't view it as combined. I feel like we're just. But it is combined.

It just sometimes I look at it and I'm like. Yeah, but you call it hers. I feel like we're just friends with flaps. Like, at this point, you're not actually, like, legally married. Sure, but you're not acting like you guys are together forever. It's hard. She, I see things with reason and she doesn't. So, and she makes most of the income.

You said your spending habits too, though. Okay, because she makes most of the income and she's just like, I want to go buy Pokemon cards. Can she go buy Pokemon cards? Probably. She can probably budget it. Can she budget it? Yes, absolutely.

Well, there we go. So it's not just that. What about your spending habits? Um, I don't have any. You said because of her spending habits and my spending habits. You don't spend money. Sometimes. What?

How much on what? What's your... Come on, dude. Don't be a dumb. Have you seen me roasting people's terrible credit card choices? But how about we flip the script? Introducing the Caleb Hammer credit card finder now on Agent A. Wishing you could be there live for the big game,

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That's it That's it I don't have I don't buy shoes I don't buy anything I don't have hobbies It's just the house has to look nice So I buy stuff from Amazon

Yeah that's the best decor Most long lasting So we know what comes around on a monthly basis How much did the household spend last month? probably like 7,000? Yeah, because you're the knowledgeable one, right? Or who's the knowledgeable one about the household finances? Me.

I look at it more often than she does. You look at it more often. 7,000 came in, 14,000 came in, 7,000 went out. So you only spent half. Wouldn't debt be paid down, though, if only half was spent? You would think. I would think, which is why I just said it. So please tell me how that works.

Okay, so we went on a big trip. That is spending. That would count towards money going out. Do you not count that? No. I just count bills. Okay. Let's reassess.

You said household expense. I did not. I said what went out versus what came in. I did not say household expenses. Okay, well, our household expense is like $7,000. Congratulations. I would also like, I'd like to reassess this. okay

what went out how much went out boom household income that's probably what I said household income how much went out I'm telling you

probably like 65, 7,000 that doesn't make sense you just told me the household expenditures expenditures are 7,000 hours well you're supposed to make it make sense you said you went on a trip

we did and it was great okay that would probably mean the money went out is more than just your household expenses. So how much do you think went out? How much the fuck do you think went out? How much do you think went out? $10,000.

Okay. Where did it go? To the trip, I just told you. Where'd you go? To the Philippines. Is that where you're from? Yes, I'm Filipino home. Okay.

Full bread. Congratulations. Thanks. It's pretty great. So, yeah, it was $25,000. What's $25,000? That's the number that was spent. That's what went out.

Last month? Last month. No. We don't even make that much money. What do you? No. That's the point. That's the conversation we're having.

Somebody miscalculated. What are you on here for? What are you on the show for? To fix finances, Caleb, and to save my marriage before I'm Why the f-the-f didn't you just say that? Because that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life. Because there's no way. We don't even make that much money a month.

That's the point. You're in debt. You put more on debt. Your debt went up. You mean like on credit cards? That is a debt. What kind of person did you guys find? I'm concerned that she doesn't have, no, no, no.

I'm concerned she doesn't have the mental bandwidth for a conversation involving numbers. That's the Like credit cards Yes like credit cards Are you kidding me right now What are we talking about? Well, because you asked how much came in And then you asked how much went out

So I thought you meant like checking account Are you stupid? Neither Is she on board to get the finances fixed? Like What have you guys talked about money wise Now That we need to get our shit together?

Yeah, I feel like you said that. I did say that. Cool. Where's her head? She's hopefully on board. I don't... Oh my... Did they leave you? The other marriages? Did they leave you? No, I left. Um, rude. I filed for the divorces. Probably not. You filed for the divorces? Are you sure you didn't just get like lost from the house? Yes. Okay, okay, fine, fine, fine, fine. You left, whatever, whatever, whatever. What is the conversation that you guys have? You don't even like, No. You don't even like know where she's at. Right? Is that what I'm hearing? Not 100%. Like we... Why? Why not listen to her? Or does she not talk? What is the state of this conversation? I need some kind of insight. We just talk about it sometimes, but it's not... Finance is our hard conversation. So like we don't budget or anything. We're big on... We're really big on convenience.

On what? Convenient. Oh, okay. I'll get you guys, obviously, on my... budgeting app. Make sure you guys download it. Link in the description below. I'll get you that for free. The premium version for free. And everyone that gets the premium version gets a signed cookbook mailed directly to them. So, yeah, you get that.

And then you guys can budget. But my concern is through this conversation, you're not actually able to tell me how these conversations go. You say, they're difficult because they're money. How do they go? Walk me through the last conversation. How long ago was it?

I know it might be difficult for you to remember more than we could go. Oh my. We don't talk about money. It's just like, okay, we have $2,000 left in the account. This world is broken. After bills are paid. You say you want to get out of debt and you told me you guys talk about it. I just want to know what her opinion is.

What's her fucking opinion? She agrees. She agrees that we're fucking that we have to change habits. But we don't. Do you guys, do you guys, do you guys, on what you have to do. Yes, but I feel like, well, obviously

we have to budget. It's a good first step. So. So what? What? I feel like I see our finances with a little bit more reason than she does and she likes to spend

unreasonably. So she's not willing to cut back. Yes, she said she is. I just haven't seen it. Have you cut back? Yes. I feel like you probably haven't. Well, not this month, no.

Why not this month? We just got back from vacation. I'm still on vacay mode. When did you get back? Like two weeks ago. Philippines had expensive travel, but it's cheap when you're there. So it's like what? Two weeks, two weeks?

Vacay mode? Is this the new stupid version of birthday month that I'm being... Well, we did spend our birthdays over there and we were also there for three. How are you guys there? Three half weeks. That's a long. I get the other side of the world being longer than normal because it's a long trip. It's an 18 hour flight.

Exactly. But you're back. It's time to buckle up. Yes. Tighten the belt. You had your vacation. You guys have an insane amount of debt. If I don't start going through this debt, we're never getting out of here.

Okay. All right. Where do you think your household? Do you know what that means? It means you and her. Okay. Where do you think your score would be financially? Zero to tens.

You're being the worst, 10 being the best. Ten is a number. So it was zero. You can give ten numbers in between there. Five. Five. Have you seen this show? Yes.

I've seen the show. All the time, actually. You're welcome. Were you closing your ears and eyes while it was playing near you? You think you're a five. This is some of, this is the, one of the biggest stacks of, okay. Guys, if you want your hammer financial score, you're not a fucking moron. Sorry, sorry.

We go to Calebhammer.com, and you can also click the link in the description below, and take the assessment and see where you stand financially. If you want to come down here to Austin, Texas, we'd be happy to have you. Go to Calebhammer.com slash apply. All right. Okay. Sure. Let's talk about this stuff.

Oh, God. What? No, we're just starting with like a fucking insane balance. We do spend $25,000 a month somehow. We don't. Shut the fuck up. Yes, you do. That's literally what you do.

On what? I think we're going to find out. Something tells me you've seen the show before that we might find out. Starting now, Southwest, rapid rewards. Okay. So $14,372. and 92 cents Minimum monthly payment

$480 That's crazy What is up with this card? That is a crazy balance And crazy minimum monthly payment Even with your super strong income That's a devastating minimum monthly payment Devastating

Please tell That's not my card Well it is now mine But there it is You figured it out You got there Well legally But

depends on a few things in the end. But, yes, I think it is best in a marriage that we consider it all ours. What made you come out of the gate with? It's not mine. Because I didn't. This is what concerns me about your guys. This is fast-moving 50 marriages before 30 lifestyle. Like-

I couldn't even get approved for a $1,000 credit limit in a lifetime. You probably can't manage it. And yes, you would. but what's going on with it? Do you know? Oh, you don't even know. Well, okay, so I think that card was used. This is Southwest. Did you use this for plane tickets to the Philippines? No. Okay. It was used for our very first couple trip to Las Vegas. How often do you guys travel? All the time. Okay, you're broken. You guys are broken. Technically we're not. No, listen, you guys can't afford life. You simply can't afford. But we do and we've been. You don't. You know, your debt goes up.

That's why you're able to spend what you spend. And it's going to get pushed to a limit where you guys aren't going to be able to make it. And bankruptcy will be forced upon you. We're just not going to go see the world. Yeah, you're just like not going to go see the world. You said it. You figured it out. We're not going to go see the world.

You're not going to go see the world. Credit cards just manage our lives. Yes. No. Then what are we doing here? You're supposed to help us. in what way I'm not a magic pill

buddy if I say hey maybe you can't do a luxurious vacation once a month and that's why I're in debt Okay first of all it's not even a month If I just give literally the most basic thing And tell you to cut out the most expensive thing That maybe you do once a year instead

Max which I wouldn't even do I'd get out of fucking debt Then maybe Maybe you'd be willing to cut that back So I don't know what the fuck Is going on here This is so stupid. This is so stupid already.

So dumb. This is the first card. You have to be receptive. If you're sitting at this table, you have to be receptive. Or I'm not fucking filming. I am receptive. I just don't agree with your logic. Please explain.

I mean, you know, everybody has debt. No. Yes. Oh, fuck. Everybody has debt. No. We're just not going to have, we're just not going to go see the world. Yes.

and not go travel just because credit cards have to be paid. You have to go make memories. You have to make memories. What are you going to do? Just stay in your house and fucking work all the time? No. Literally? Oh, my gosh.

Buddy. Is that what you do? Is that where you're just so miserable all the time? Well, yes, I am building a business here. So I do put in more work than you've ever put in your entire life. But I also have results to show for it. And you have nothing to show for it. I know you like free things.

And I'm giving some things away for free right now. and let me show you how to get it. First, I'm giving you a limited edition financial audit Tumblr plus a 30-day trial of simpler budget premium to new users when you buy my four-class bundle. And this trial is normally only 14 days, but I'm doubling it just for those purchasers. And do you just want one class?

No worries, you'll still get access to that 30-day simpler budget trial. And act now because we're winding down our intro pricing at midnight on April 23rd, so this is the best price you'll ever see on these classes. So if you're feeling stuck or intimidated by your finances, you're not alone, and now is the best time to get started. Grab your free, limited edition Tumblr, sit back and finally take control of your financial future or don't, and you can end up right here. But also at the same time, because of that, I could really retire right now and actually go see the world without going in debt because I put in the time. I put in the work. I put in the effort.

the mental energy, the stress, the zits. Instead, your next vacation will be living under a bridge and you won't be leaving there. And guess what? She won't be there following your track record. So, yeah, I say we cut back. You've already been married. Three times. When do, how often?

Maybe like every three to four months. No, you can't. You can't go once a quarter. Buddy, you are, you can go on road trips here and there. I could maybe slot in a big, a trip once a year. We can see the world. You guys have a strong income to build up a nest egg to go see the world. Okay, so instead of screaming at me, do that.

I mean... I can't do that unless you're willing to cut out the trips for a moment. Okay, after July, we will. What's coming up before July? What's coming up before July? So I have a son who has a conjure player. What is that? I don't know what that is. It's a form of dwarfism.

Tread lightly. How do you get that? It's a genetic mutation. So anyway, once a year they do these conferences, and we, I try to go, we try to go every year. Well, I mean, that sounds happier. That's not to go see the world. It's in, like, major cities of the state. So major cities? Yeah, like one time it was in Austin. This year, it's in San Diego.

Careful. It's easier to lose them there. So I... I mean, get the check. Sorry. I'm so sorry. She's laughing. It's okay. It's okay. She's laughing. Usually I'm the only one allowed to make jokes. It passed the test. I'll take it. And him. And him. Listen, I'm okay with that part. I'm okay with... I'm okay with those things that are good for, you know, a development of a kid.

That's where... I think all travels are good for your soul. Sure. But like, I'm... But I'm willing to... put in things like gym, right? Like, I'm not cutting back from gym. There are things that are good. And you're right, traveling probably is good for the soul. But listen, because he has, like, a disorder?

A diagnosis? What was diagnosed? A disorder? I don't know. Whatever it is, we want to support it. And this can be a good way to do that. So I might not be fully opposed to that. But a trip to the Philippines, I'm probably fully opposed to because that's not supporting someone in a curious situation.

Well, it's supporting me because I get to go back home to my roots and my family. Yeah, but you have a long time to do that statistically. And I would... What if I died tomorrow and I never went back home? I said statistically, but also if you died tomorrow, you won't know that you didn't have gone. Right. So this also won't matter if I died tomorrow. Exactly.

But let's bet on the statistical likelihood that you will live until at least mid-70s. statistically Right Yeah So I'd rather choose that That doesn't make any sense Do you see Do you understand the logic

I just used? Well, I just Do you understand it? I need to make sure you at least understand that Yes, statistically yes, I get it But also it's just not No What because statistics are not in charge

Had I died tomorrow We wouldn't have been able to Live like the Kardashians in the Philippines Had died tomorrow You won't know that you had lived But also had I died tomorrow This wouldn't matter Exactly, exactly. That is what I'm saying. If you died tomorrow and you didn't go, you wouldn't have regretted anything because you're dead. You don't regret when you're dead. You're dead. But if you, on the very high chance, live tomorrow, I'd rather you be in a place where you're not completely...

But I would have gone and I would have had that memory. I don't think... With my whole family, all 23 of them. And what genetics were past the year? your brain, I'm curious. Great ones, if you can't tell already. Hey, listen, you're defensive. It's natural. Are you serious? Are you fucking kidding me?

I was going to defend your defensism. Defensism. Not a word. That's, yeah, that's, I'm just thinking isms when I'm looking at you. Just, I'm sorry. That's just, that's what's in my head right now. It's time to refresh your yard during spring backyard days at the Home Depot.

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Now through May 6th. Exclusion supplies to home depot.com slash price match for details. So I'm just saying When people are in front of the camera And I'm not used to be in front of the camera And when they're getting confronted for the first time When they're not used to getting confronted

It is normal to be defensive I would like you to actually Just think though Just think be more receptive I'm not being defensive I literally explaining to you My thought process behind Hopefully you guys are enjoying this

Because my enjoyment is gone That have been made Hey you're purchasing on a credit card on the 14,000 stupid dollar credit card, $1,17.70. Is she purchasing? You're purchasing? Are you authorized user?

I don't think so. I'm not an authorized user. I don't have a card. I don't have access to that card. Okay, so she's purchasing. Do you know she's purchasing? Are you okay with her purchasing? I don't know that she's purchasing.

Okay, now you know she's purchasing. What do you think? Well, it's her card. My debt. So that sucks for both of us. If you guys have a conversation about this, Will she stop purchasing or are we wasting our fucking time? Maybe she will.

I don't know. Oh my gosh. Maybe I hope so. This is the least productive. Yes, she will. Yes. Yes. You're just saying that now.

Okay. Three to 36 hours of interest recruiting one single month on one single card. That is insane. Basically at its credit limit, no one's surprised. Is it fucking Amazon? You guys share your Amazon account? or independent accounts? Independent.

Why would you pay for two separate Amazon primes? Well, I added her to mine and it didn't work, so I think she's still paying for her. Just log into the same account. Yeah, we could do that. What hair you guys? What fucking laboratory were you guys invented in? This is insane. This is insane. I am so fucking confused on the way you guys operate. Buddy, I don't even know what the f*** to do.

So you guys just got back from the Philippines. How much did you spend there to live like the Kardashians? Well, half of what we spend here, so that's great. You're just as stupid as them, too. You talk like them, you act like them, you want to be them. The last smart one was the fucking grandpa who defended O.J., and he was wrong for that. So what the... How much did you spend?

That's rich. Like $3,000. Well Are you sure? I don't think you'd know Because you thought you only spent 7 to 10 or whatever The flights

Alone were like $3,000 Then you spent more I meant Like once we were there Like spending money $3,000 Okay I feel my veins right now

Which means I'm getting stressed And This is This is so stupid I don't know why It's a credit one card. Great. Credit one card.

At the top of the fucking deck. Do you know what this means? Do you? How many episodes have you watched? Credit one is the worst of the worst. Oh my gosh. She actually walked away with something. I'd watch a show.

Then why are you being a... You're over the credit limit. Whose card is this? Mine. You f***ed, dude. You know this is... Okay, let me explain. Can I explain before you start screaming at me?

It was going to be an explanation to this? Yes, there is an explanation to this. My credit history is really young, and this is one of those things that's like, high chance of approval. And I thought... Hey, Jake! When you had a young credit history, did you ever get credit one? You did? Oh, but you didn't open it.

Hey, Lindsay, we had young credit. Did you open credit one? No, neither did I. That's interesting. So what the... You're saying this is the only option? No, no, that was before your time. I wouldn't have opened it had I known.

I'm your age. Well, on YouTube, I mean, this, it was like four, five years ago that was build your credit. So I opened it. Also, it's only a $300 credit limit. Good. So, yeah, that's great. Could be worse. Yeah, it could be higher and you would abuse it.

That's what. Well, we don't know that. It's like, I do. Look at everything you guys do. What do you mean? We literally know that from your finances. Not me personally. You're purchasing on a credit one card?

Okay, you've been watching my show for long enough not to fucking purchase on a credit one card. So what are you possibly doing? Why purchase on this card? Because we run out of cash. Then you are purchasing on things you cannot afford. It is simple as that. Yes, but like we paid for everybody in the Philippines. Who's everybody?

My whole family. I told you all 23 of us. Oh, big breeders. Okay. That's insane. Um, okay. And you paid for all of them? Yes, because it's what you do when you go home to a third world country or the one in America. You're rich, so you go home and pay for everybody's meals and drinks and vacations. This doesn't make any sense. You guys were already in a stack of debt and you couldn't be in that situation to pay for all that. It's not even a fucking thing. normal i always recommend the fucking fizz card to everyone on the show not you not you great for everyone

out there not you what you don't know that i could be great have your finances i have your i have your finances lady i do know that no no the thing i will recommend for you is in therapy if you can handle it sondermind there you go free sessions that's the resource you get but not fizz Hey you, look at me. My job is to sit right here and be the absolutely stunning figure that I am. And some things I just can't help like my incredible ass, which is why you're all here, of course, but also some things are in my control. For example, the pearly whites.

I yap a lot, and some would say too much, so I get it. But listen, if I'm going to yap, my teeth may as well look pretty damn good. I drink a lot of coffee to get through these audits, and I started noticing some staining on my teeth. so I've partnered with today's sponsor, Oroglow, and they brought back my confidence for continued yapp sessions. The reason I prefer them over competitors is because they actually whiten, but they do it sensitivity-free. And that's always been why I can't use these types of products for long due to my sensitive teeth. Seriously, these things are incredible. Make sure to go to Amazon and get the OroGlo teeth whitening strips or click the link in the description below so your

yapp sessions can be just as confident as mine with stunning white teeth. So you owe $302 on a $300 limit because we manage life so well with a $30 minimum monthly payment. Oh, good. You took it up from $55 to over the credit limit. That's great. It's for Marshalls. It's for Target. Target.

Target. I needed stuff. La Nube. Amazon. There's your annual fees. Just the fees that are hitting. $177. This year so far.

$7 in interest. It's only a $300 limit. It's fine. Good. Yeah, right. Why would you spend to it? Pull up your Amazon. Pull up your fucking Amazon.

Let's see what all your relatives are making overseas. Um, I don't even know what's on here. Ugh, you are just, you are the mintiest creature I've ever seen. Does this smell like mint? I don't have any mint. It's attached. It's so, uh, I just got to delicately touch this thing. Do you want head sanitizer?

I want for you to listen. Well, at least you're Seemed like halfway nice person When you all of a sudden feel Is that your wife? How the fuck else would be on my phone? One of your other Four wives?

I have two Had Had, I have one. Why did you leave the man While I'm pulling this up and getting connected to wife? Obviously, because I was gay, hello. Oh, were you full gay? Yes.

Is that even a thing, though? Full gay? Well, I don't know. You left a dude. You have to categorize yourself? It's 2025. I don't know. You said you were gay. So you left a dude. I did. But now you're saying you can't be full gay?

So you wouldn't leave a dude? It was the first thing I've ever been with ever. I know. That thing produced two children. And I'm grateful for it. How long were you guys together? We were together for four and a half years. Take. Okay. Did you, did you just tell them that you were gay and you left? What do the kids think of the gay? I guess they've been around double gay now for a while, so.

They think that love is love and they're happy that mom is. Yeah, but you leaving dad. Well, backstory. I was raised Mormon. What the fuck? Like they're going out to the islands and pushing hard? I guess. Like born into Mormonism.

Wow. Born and raised in the Philippines. and I was Mormon up until I met the kid's dad. So he's the one that got to have multiple wives. Well, yeah, I was trying to please and appease parents that were super into the church. But I still did it with the wrong person because he was a lot older than me. The man, the man, the baby man? Yes.

How old? Well, how old were you? I was 18. Okay. Holy, an adult, sure. And he was? 40s. Oh.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's substantial. It was a lot. It was substantially different. Parents were not happening. How the fuck did you guys? Your parents, you're Mormon parents. My Mormon parents.

So you weren't doing it to a piece of church. Well, they wanted me to be with a guy. So I was like, okay, here you go, here's a guy. What did you do? You just, what? Streets of Salt Lake? Wally, it was my recruiter. Huh?

He was my recruiter. Recruiter for what? The military? Yeah. Oh my gosh. How'd this go down? Well, I tried to enlist after high school I got disqualified for medical reasons

And he was my recruiter So when I got disqualified I was no longer an applicant And I was fair Did you move? Did you move? He made a move Why the fuck would I make a move on a...

I don't know You married him and did two kids Okay All right We're missing a puzzle to this story I was Mormon And I got kicked out Because I tried to come out

Gay I knew before I was with him And gay people love to sleep with people way older than them. So this is really, this is consistent. We're just hitting all the stereotypes today. I know. You're matching them. So.

Okay, fine. You left them. Good. Why did you leave the second one? There was infidelity on both ends. On both ends? Come on. What are we doing here?

Every time, I'm not even close to homo folk, but I'm about to say, every time we have lesbians on this show, they all cheat on each other. What is happening? I had reasons. What was your reason? Yeah. I was activated and she wasn't there for me. You sleep herself?

No, like with the military. Come on. Oh, okay. Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay. Okay, keep going. Sorry.

Sorry. Activated with the military. So I was gone for a long time. I was on mission and I needed her support and she couldn't give it to me. So I found it somewhere else. That, come on. No, not fair. I'm confused that why that equals you go f-th-someone else, though.

No, it doesn't, but also you're supposed to be there for your fucking wife, and she wasn't. Could she have been? Yes, a lot more than she was. How? She could have gone. Where were you activated to? I was only eight hours away. Okay. So she could have made the drive. Did you tell her to?

Yes. Okay, then why didn't she just break off and be done? Don't cheat. Well, because she had my kids. How many people you cheat on with? What? How many different pairs were you on? Why does that matter? Come on.

Yeah. How many people were you with? One. So that's a lie. Okay. Literally doesn't matter. It was the principal. Like, see it from my point of you.

I'm sure your current wife is going to love this. Open this. Open this. I got your Amazon pulled up. And then she cheated on you because she learned you cheated on her? Yes. Were you cheating with women? Oh my gosh

How often were you cheating? Okay, what often were you cheating? What do you mean? How often were you cheating? What classifies us often? Like how often would I see people? Yes. To go get drinks and stuff?

If it's with that intent, yes. Not often. How often? Come on. I was talking to multiple different people. Did they know? Did they know what? Oh my gosh, you're a fucking creature.

Did they know that I was talking to multiple people? Yeah. No. I do. Listen, you don't know until you're out there. You can't. The loneliness and the camaraderie that you need and Then don't get married.

The support that you need from people. And don't get married. This is why military people get divorced. And we have a bad rap. Yeah, you were the bad rap. After you cheated. I'm like with like a thousand different kids. She cheated too.

Let's not forget that. Two wrongs don't make her right. Because you did. Two wrongs don't make her right. Because you did that. It's still. Still. still not okay. No, it's not.

What I did wasn't okay, and I acknowledge that, but you don't just go fucking fuck up. So you got from like ocean, screen protectors, more screen protectors do we need? We went to the Philippines. Also got sunburnt. We went to the Philippines. That's where everyone gets their screens scratched.

Philippines is going around. Phone screens. I thought he said sunscreen. Nope. That might be sunscreen. An iPad case, probably for the iPad kid. phone case what is this poker set maybe no that's like cure eggs or something crystal

Deco brothers tempered crystal something cubes water pets boy with a video game Nespresso capsules Nespresso capsules Makeup and face

Dude none of this is like a necessity There's not a single necessity here No it's almost Easter time It's almost what It's almost Easter time Oh my God We need The Easter bunny is coming.

So. That's for candy. There wasn't candy in here. The Easter bunny at our house. Do we do different Easter's? My Easter was candy. The Easter bunny at our house is busy. So.

The Easter bunny at your house is in a lot of debt. The Easter bunny at your house never knows what house to go to because you're with someone different every year. Not every year. The Easter bunny at your house was probably inside of you while you served. And none of these are necessities. This is crazy. You go crazy on here.

You go crazy. I did tell you earlier that Amazon is my weakness. I know. I know. So, at least I was forthcoming. So imagine the return on your investment if you just put that money in stocks and Moos Savings account and Fri-Fing anything. It'd be just delicious. But instead, you're a moron.

28% sorry, not a moron. That I shouldn't just be slinging insults. I could throw jabs, but insults is no point. What are we doing? I'll just get upset, and that's where my brain goes. Amazon. Oh, great. So you're Amazon card or hers?

Mine. Okay. Oddly, not even that many purchases, but of course, purchases. Fees! $40. $40 and $302.30 of interest. $31 and $42 of purchases. You're at the credit.

Let me. What is the fee possibly? What is the fucking fee possibly? What is the fee for? Uh, lay payment? I don't know. Great. Oh my gosh. So nons. You don't give a, you don't care. Of course I care. I don't.

That's why I'm here. I can't tell. I can't get in your brain. You're sassy. Then you say you're not. You're defensive. Then you say you're not. And it's just like, I don't understand.

I'm trying to tell you why these things. Yet there's a nice part of your personality. Yet there's an aggressive cheater. Yet there's, I don't understand what you are. I might not know how to get through to you. I can get through to most people. I don't know. You're an enigma.

I'm kind of great. actually. I'm sure in other contexts, not this, $379. 59 with a $50,000 minimum fee. It was a late fee.

Why are you late? The one who manages the finances of the house, the good one. I forgot. How can you forget? Why don't you have a calendar? Why don't you have a budgeting

like ours? Okay, I do. I do. I get a wild hair of my apps and I'll just put, I'll make a budget. You what? I'll get a wild hair up my app

and make a budget. You're not military anymore. Well, yes, you are. Fuck me. So it's going to continue. Okay. Wrap them up. Oh, my God.

Keep going. What I'm trying to tell you is, I need you to listen. Are you listening to me? Unfortunately. This is going to help you figure me out. Yes, unfortunately, I am listening because I had no other choice but to say here. I make a budget, right?

And then I don't follow it after like a week. Yeah. That's why we're here. It'll last maybe two weeks tops. Yeah. And then Amazon calls, for me at least. Shut the fuck up. You just have to make your minimum monthly payment is what we're talking about.

Just your minimum monthly payment is a first start. But doesn't that accrue interest and stuff? Yes. And now the balance is higher because of the $40 late fee, so the interest will be more. I guess I just forgot. Why is it not on auto pay? Because sometimes there's no money in there. the account.

Then why don't you have a reminder for when it's due at the very latest? I do. I get emails. You don't check your emails probably because it's 20, 25. And you don't have a job. I do have a job. Does it come through emails? My job?

No. Well, there you go. So you probably don't check your emails. Set yourself a reminder. Set me a reminder for blah, blah, blah, blah. At this time to remind me to pay Amazon. This is, we live in a world with technology. We live in a world of technology.

And again, if your relative is going to make that phone for you, you may as well use them. Okay. Okay. Great. Stellar conversation. Capital one. $1,9.40. $0.49 with a $68.

And a monthly payment. This is a capital one. Whose credit card is this? Wifee's. Okay. You said this place was steps from the water. We just haven't found the steps yet. How much did we save?

Enough. Enough to get lost. Or you could book a stay with Hilton. Welcome to your oceanfront room. Just steps from the water. The Hilton sale is on now. Book on Hilton.com or the Hilton app and save up to 20% to get the stay you expected.

When you want savings, not surprises. It matters where you stay. Hilton for the stay. Pays, temporary wife fees. $51 of purchases, $49.19. Of interest. Oh, good. $50 from the credit limit.

Who would have fucking thought? Did you know she was purchasing on this? Yes, that's... So you know she's purchasing on this one. Okay, this one. Okay. Why do you know this one, but not the others? Because this one was opened when we were already together.

This was used. This was opened solely for our wedding purposes. We had a really nice wedding. Of course you did, because you can't compromise. anything. Should have been a nice wedding. Do I even care if they ask? Well, yes. Maybe you'll feel bad for me if you do.

I'll judge if it's interesting and I'll cut you off if it sucks. We spent $20,000 on our wedding. Also. So fucking monic. Mostly credit cards and some from her dad. Beyond the 20 or he helped with someone. the 20? Within the 20. Oh, okay, good. Good. How much did he help with? Like six thousand. Like we owe him $6,000. Oh, so it's a debt to the debt. Well, he hasn't tried to collect, so that's really nice.

But was it agreed upon that it was borrowed? It was like a casual like, you'll pay me back. Huh? What do you mean? No, no, no. Tell me what was agreed. There was no agreement. It was a verbal conversation. It was like... And what was said? Dad, we need help with the wedding. Okay, here you go. I know you'll pay me back. Hopefully that's what happened. Oh, I mean, why do you do this? Why did you have to spend so much on this route to wedding anyway?

It wasn't supposed to be this big and it was. You didn't get there. Third one, you wouldn't need it to go crazy. Okay, that's not true because this is the only wedding I had. That's not true. I got married, but I didn't have a wedding. And this was supposed to be the last one. So I was like, okay, we're going to.

It's supposed to be. That's everyone. one was supposed to be the last one. That's, I didn't, nope, I didn't make those promises in the first one. You did when you got married. Anyway, we spent that much money on the wedding and we, it was only supposed to be like 10 people and then it grew to 60. Yeah, but it's, you get to choose that.

And I know it's hard, but you get to choose that. Well, it was hard. And it was mostly, I didn't have my family here. So it was just my mom and dad and siblings. It was her people. So 60 people, none of yours? Well, some clients and friends, it was supposed to be a family-only intimate wedding. If you would just let me finish.

And then the guest list just grew to 60. It started as 10, grew to 60. And then we were having our wedding. The venue people, it was in the fields at El Paso, Texas. The venue people didn't spray for bugs. So there's irrigation right next to them. So the mosquitoes, it was insane. Like the venue was infested with mosquitoes.

Okay. Okay, I'm almost finished. Listen, everybody got bit. It was really bad. Covered with mosquito bites. So we had to take everything inside, this tiny old house, and all of our setup that we paid for got left outside. So $20,000 down the drain.

Yeah. The dance floor, the setup, the dinner table, the tent, the beautiful lights, all of it outside. So a lot of this is from the wedding A lot of what? A lot of the spendatures. What the fuck you're talking about? Shut up.

That is not true. You are still spending on this card when it is at its credit limit. Yes, but some of the balances from the wedding. Sure, but you're still spending on it instead of making progress. Okay, wait, here's the best part. What? No, what?

The best part is because our wedding was a bust, we decided to do it again in the Philippines. And it was an absolute success. if you wanted to know. And it wasn't as much. Success in every way, except for your life. But I have memories. Yeah, you also have $413,000 of debt.

So better be a lot of really good memories. Oh my, I don't even know. What the fuck are we doing? 413,000. That's not a thing. It's a... It is time to cut down your financial stress and gain total financial.

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You will not regret it. It went to HNFS West. What is that? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Great. So keeping us at the credit limit for something we don't even know.

GECU. Who's this? Wifi. Okay. 4,737. with a limit of $5,000. So basically max out. And 27 cents with a minimum monthly payment of $95.

Great. Takes how long to pay off? Just minimum monthly payments, no more purchases, which you guys are typically incapable of. How long does it take to pay off? Just this card, the $4,000 one, not the $14,000 one we talked about at the beginning. The minimum is 95, probably like 400 years.

me give me a real answer I don't know 25 20 okay so I was close I do know my numbers sure and 25 is acceptable to you 20 is acceptable to you

obviously not and why are you guys still spending on all the cards and keeping them all at their limits there is not a single card to have not looked at that are not basically at the limit and one was over

and one was late we have to do stuff there wasn't there hasn't been one necessity yet. Yeah, we have to do stuff. We want. No, there hasn't been one necessity yet.

Okay, we want to do stuff. Okay, do you want to get out of debt or do you want to do stuff? Eventually. But can I do both? Can I get out of debt and, like, still live my best life together with her and the kids? Probably not. See, and that's not, why is that okay? It's not acceptable.

Who are you going to complain to and have that change? I just don't. This is the system. We were not put on this earth to just fucking be ran by. bills, bro. Well, congratulations. You made the choices that got you in them, though. And so did she. And so did she. And you guys continue to make the choices that get you in there. On this earth, we're not on this earth for any purpose. We're fucking born and we die. Like, you're making the choices you make along the way. That's really morbid.

But that's also just how the biology works. You're born, you die, and you live. You're making the choices along the way. I disagree. What do you mean? You don't just die. Granted. All this stuff. That's something different. I'm just talking about the life on this earth.

You know, we can believe whatever you want to believe outside of that. Right before you die, you only get one chance of this. So why not just go. Exactly. But your chance is going to be endlessly stressed, endlessly struggling. But okay, you're self-contraditing. Because earlier you were just, you were telling me,

I'm telling you that this, all this doesn't matter because you just live and die. So then what the, it's fine. Fine. Bills get paid. If they don't get paid, you die anyway, right? At the end, but do you want the next hopefully 50 years or so to be an endless struggle and you're not being able to take care of your kids or leave a legacy? If I get to see parts of the world as I go along, why not? But at some point, you won't be able to because you won't have the credit to do so, and that's the only way you'll be able to afford it.

I have that credit, Caleb, and I've been fine for 30 years. You guys do together. You guys do together, and that's how you're getting there. That's who you guys are getting there now And the kids matter too You choosing to seeing the world over them Is being a selfish That's a reach Because they get to say the world

Yes, and they get to have these memories with us They get to talk about being stung By jellyfishes in the Philippines They can get stung by the jellyfishes in Galveston Ew Have you been to the Philippines? To the Philippines, no But there's jellyfish everywhere

Yes, but it's a lot more worth They also have a one long time to get jellyfish. You're making it so that if they want to go to college, you can't support them. They're making it so... Not true. They're fine going to college with my military benefits. Okay.

Yes. You got that part. Go U.S. Army. Sure. Yeah. Woo-woo. But... It's who-wah.

But... They might have to downgrade housing situations. They're going to see their mom. Endlessly fight with their other mom. No. Because, yes, because that's one of the leading causes for divorce in this country. No, it's not going to get there because I'm here. You're going to help.

That's not how this works. It's one of the leading causes. Shut the fuck up. It's one of the leading causes for the divorce in this country. And you're in one of the leading relationships for divorce in this country. The odds are not second in your favor. So you need to do everything possible to maintain this. And it's for the sake of the kids because they're going to endlessly see their mom hopping to hop into hopping to hop.

And then you're going to have nothing. And then they're going to have to put their life on hold at some point. I would never allow that. It doesn't matter. It's not about allow. It's not about allow. But if you are struggling later in life because you never prepared at all, who knows what it's going to be look like, that military disability might actually get fucking looked at at

at some point after this show. Imagine my babes having a mom that's like, no, we can't go there and no, we can't go there because we can't afford it and we can afford it. That's a responsible mom. No. Yes. You're also teaching them horrible, horrible lessons. That's not true because when they grow up, they're going to be like, oh, when I was a kid,

my mom took us here. It was pretty great. When I was a kid, we went here. They don't learn about sacrifice, though. They don't learn about the hard choices that you do it in a balanced manner. No, you don't. You go way overboard. No, you don't.

We stopped doing birthday parties. We just go places now. But even still, you don't need to have an extravagant birthday party if you can't afford it. Like, that's just life. And I'm sorry, but life is life. We're not fucking promised anything. We're not. Again, so that's right.

This is the system that exists. And this system has gotten us, luckily, even though there are struggles, the system has gotten us to, it is better to be a human in our lifetime than any other human existence in lifetime that has existed before us. Okay, because of the technology, because the enjoyment's in life, because of the lifespan, because of the medical, because a lot of things, there is lower poverty in the world than there's ever been. And that's because of the system that we're in. In that system that we're in, has some things that suck. but this suck that you're in has all been your choice has all been your wife's choice so it's that

like even this was a put upon you i never said it was you complained about how we're not born to go through all this you chose to do this i did choose to do this so that my life here isn't wasted instead you'll just be wasting your kid's future because you won't have anything prepared for you so they're going to sacrifice when they're trying to take care of their own life to take care of their selfish mom. That's what's going to happen. I disagree. You disagree. Great. Okay. That solves the issue. I don't know.

And they told me you're going all out for your kid's birthday anyway. So that's just a lie. They say you're throwing this extravagant party. Okay, it's because she's turning ten. You're just a liar. She's turning ten. It's not extradict. She wants a murder, mystery, birthday party.

It's a extravagant. That doesn't constitute as extravagant. How much is it going to cost? I don't know, probably like a thousand minutes. Do you have the money? I will. No, you spend more than you make. Will you have the money?

Yes. This is the most obnoxious. You're the most obnoxious person. I've met in a very long time. No, I'm pretty sure it's you because you're the only one yelling in this room. Oh my fuck. But it's because of you. It's because of you.

And you've seen the show. What? Does this surprise you now that you're in person now? I just thought you were a big... How'd you even find your way to the studio from the airport? I'm surprised you're capable of doing that. Because I'm Asian and it's genetic for me to be smart. Then I think you'd be able to do math.

If you're really pulling that card. I didn't get that gene. Yeah. Is this another capital one, I guess? I mean, I'm getting lost here because there's... This is so much. This is fucking ridiculous. $224.84.

But of course, the limit's only $300. Great. This is yours? Yeah, you get the micro-dick ones. How did you know? The jeans. So with that, you're getting fees again because it's your card. So, of course, we're getting late fees.

And then there's a $6.90 interest. Congratulations. You suck. I'll pay it off. It's low. The other one's low, too. The other ones you have are low, and then you don't, and then they're late. Okay, so I'll pay mine off. Yamava Resort and Casino at San Manuel is California's number one entertainment destination for today's superstars.

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Not always. You've, out of here, you've had three that were yours, right? Three? Yeah. Two have had late fees. I forget. I'm really smart. I don't know how you survive.

I really. Well, I've done a pretty good job. I'm 30. No, you're not. This is not a good job. Listen, people have probably told you that throughout life to be nice, but no, you have not done a good job. You have not. You're actually closer to being a legitimate failure in life than being successful, much closer.

And I need some, I need to tell you that because no one has. Compared to whose standards? Yours? Compared to even the people in the worst positions, other than like, dog addicts and murderers and your basically the, no, it's really not. Yes, it is. I have a roof over my head. There's food on the table. No, I don't think that's going to happen for very long.

Well, you're pushing yourself to the limit. All of that you just said is a for now activity. None of that is guaranteed. And I'm sure you're going to claim disability after military, aren't you? Already, Bab. I'm getting it already. I feel like the show may have exposed something. And in the system, based on all the episodes we've had.

Oh, I pay a lot of taxes for that. Okay. I got hit by a car in uniform. Why? Because they weren't fucking doing their jobs properly. And I was on a wheelchair. Are you sure it wasn't because you were lost in the street? I was doing my job.

There's a past due fee on here. We're not talking about that anymore. I am. I'm getting us back to the money. 30% interest rate, can't pay the payment, interest is accruing. It's the second past due fee this year so far, and we're just over a quarter of the year in. And you're a mom. Good luck to your kids.

Don't question my mothering skills. I am questioning your mothering skills. No. Yes, you're prioritizing you and being selfish. That's not true. I'm a really good mom. Them getting nice little knickknacks and shit is not the act of good. Knitknacks. It's stuff that they need.

Not teaching them any responsibility, any discipline. I do. Anything that is going to make them be able to survive once they leave the house. They're going to be so fucking lost. They're going to get hit by a car too. And shove it right up. Your Harry. That's fucked up.

What? You don't say that about kids? I'm basing it off of how you've raised them. You're probably not going to have any. for saying that. Have any kids? Yeah. I don't know.

There's a lot of life left. We'll see. I don't know. You can die tomorrow. Yeah, then I wouldn't have kids. That meant nothing. I feel like you felt like you just dropped the mic there. Yeah, because you're getting upset about all this stuff.

You want kids, and then you're just wishing kids to get hit by car. Why? That's what I said. Literally, you just did. You were like, they're probably going to get my car too. Because you didn't teach them how to operate in this world. your entire motherhood was focused around making sure they saw a jellyfish in the Philippines. No, I have happy kids.

Yes, exactly, but not smart ones because you haven't taught. You haven't taught them anything in life. Yes, I have. Listen, when they need it, I'll give them course careers. I'm not a yes baby all the time. They don't get everything that they want. I highly doubt that. They don't get everything they want.

If we haven't, we have it. We're not going to be in a podcast. The getting hit by a car was a call back to you getting hit by a car. and one of them also probably the car wasn't able to see above their dash. So, I mean, that's mostly it. It's the art of the podcast. That's not what happened. And it was actually very dramatic.

I was in a wheelchair for a year. I wasn't talking about you. The kids, for fuck sake, follow along, lady. You just said that my son's going to get in by car because they can't see over their dash. I said what I said. Do you not understand what I said? What is happening? That's what I am asking.

I'm, I'm close to, I'm close to fucking, I'm close to just fucking calling it. And I hate that because I've called it in a few episodes recently. And I really don't like that. I really don't like that. I want to get through. I want to get through. But there's so much left here. And you are incapable of comprehension and having a conversation.

You haven't actually said anything of me. I've recommended at least what to cut back on and how to at least manage your finances. Oh my. Yeah. I totally believe that. I'm believing it so much right now. I can't even believe how much I'm believing it. The fuck is on.

Oh, navist records. Navyist records? Okay. Rewards. Sorry. Texas small. Who's? Yours or hers?

Who's in the Navy? You're in the Navy? I thought you were in the Army. Okay. That's... Are you okay? Huh? That's...

See, like, you're good with numbers and can't read? It doesn't have anything to do with service. It says Navyist. yours. I thought this was a special Navy card. It's an old Navy card. Oh. That makes sense. It says on Navy, so I was, yeah.

Makes sense. I was going to say you're the wrong kind of gay for the Navy, so. Listen, we have $401 on here. Who's this? Is this yours? Who's going to Navy? Okay. You're going to Old Navy?

Great. $500. is the total line. You have 401. Fees 41. Again with you and your fucking fees. Dude, I can't. I don't, you're never going to get out of this.

You can't even just pay a minimum monthly payment. They're only late for like three days and then I get fined. Okay, it's hard because my personal income is on a daily basis. I don't get like weekly, byweekly stuff. I make money every day. I don't have the payment for $0.06,000, $0.24. $0.16.5. Purchases.

No, I don't think so. But there's interest and there's fees because you can't manage a single fucking thing in your life. There it is. Fees. Interests. It's all charging second page. Woo!

Yippee! We'll see what they can do. Next card, USA. I'm done. This isn't, I just, oh my, this takes 17 years to pay off. This is insane. This is hers or yours? Hearst.

2,000, well, this is the least interest-free. $2,396.9. The minimum monthly payment of, well, I don't know. I'm going to say 100. So that's what was paid last time. Nothing's paid now because it was paid. But it's a 0% for now. Maybe no minimum payment is even owed on it, and they just want you to go to the interest-free period and close it out.

I don't see when it's done. What's up with this card? Do you know anything? It's my wives. It existed before me, so I don't. No. So we did not talk about that card. No.

Right. Okay, Premier bank card. What about this? That's mine. Tell me. That was opened along with Credit One. Also, high chance of approval. That's, okay, that's the highest limit I have.

400. Five. Four hundred. Five. Four hundred. Five. Four hundred. Shut the fuck up.

It's literally 400. Stop being a moron. It's five on the app. They probably lowered it. Because you suck. Because there's a fee, you fuck. That's probably why. You purchase four.

$479.48 $0.00. Because the limit is $500. $393.83 and $82. minimum monthly pay by $30. $1.000. That's what.

Oh, fuck I'm done with you. I don't know how you've survived this long. I don't know what you're yelling at me. That's like that. Because you're only ever with someone since 18. This is the highest debt that I have. That's not true.

It's your attitude. It's your fucking attitude. Good. Be offended. I don't. give a fuck. Your offended means nothing. Amazon, Etsy, Amazon, monthly fee. Bulls, boll-st, holiday end, bulls, abl-o-s, maybe. Your pay your fucking credit card that is accruing fees and accruing interest. You're paying debt with debt. You're paying debt with debt. It's supposed to build my credits.

Oh, good luck to this household. Good luck to this, fucking household. Sake, man. Ah, good luck. Good luck. Good luck. I threw my pen. You don't know the pen. Okay, Sephora. Who's the Sephora? You saw my wife. Do you think it's her? No, I did think it was a man. That is true.

Okay. We are at Puzzlers. Sick. How? It's because you've only ever been with someone. You never had a moment of dependence. That's not true. I might require a diagnosis of child and you might need to get divorced. And just go live on your own.

I have. I have. You living on a military base doesn't count. I did not live in a military base. I owe my own house. I bought a house. What when you were deployed and getting giddled? No, after my divorce. What?

Which one? The second one, rude. What do you mean? I wouldn't know. How would I fucking know? I lived in a house by myself and I raised my kids on my own and paid my mortgage. For how long? For how long?

Like six months. Okay. You've never been independent. You've never been independent. It's better than you. You've not been married and you're my age, so. What are we supposed to get married? I don't know.

It's probably because you're just pissed off all this time. No, when are we supposed to get married? You should at least... Do you not get laid? Is that what it is? I do pretty okay. Not good for you. I'm at the medianaire marriage age.

You literally just looked it up. Yeah. Because you pulled out something. Does it make you feel better? Well, I like to know facts. So I can live in the real world. Caleb. Yeah, you're right.

Usually the median first age for marriage is 30. So instead you did it three times by then. Yeah. And pumped out way out of you. With people you didn't even like. Yeah, good job. They made my life better. So.

Getting everyone look to this one. Moral superiority princess. Here she is. This is who you guys want to be. Sephora. So you can be the femme one. Sure. I got you.

I really hate these categories. These labels. Is that a thing here? What? Is that a thing for you? Like, you have to label everybody? You seen this show? It's all I do.

It's all I do is make little jabs. That money. That money. That money, McDonald's. You've done them all for yourself. Well... Uh, that's fucking two. It's so stupid.

it. What concerns me is, again, you do have a kid. If this was just you, but you have a spouse, you have a kid, and they're all getting pulled into this bull. $201.44. The minimum monthly payment of $48. Taping your fingers, are you bored? You're bored?

You're not getting anything? No, because you won't be receptive for a single fucking thing. Are you training for her later? I don't know. $201.43. That's the same amount. No, you wouldn't per- Okay. I'm really glad.

major purchases without even making a fucking payment. Well done. $37. The fees, $4.20. That's for the wedding, by the way. What? The purchases? Yeah.

When did you get married? In August. This isn't a statement from August, you dumb tit. Well, I'm saying I opened it in August. Congratulations. I don't give up your no payment and your purchases were last month, not in August. Late fee. And then purchasing Sephora.

Really trying to hide your. age there. I can tell. You need some. You stressed too much. I bet I got a better skin care routine. You stress too much. I am stressed. And it's for fucking you. It's for your kid.

And extra stress in this episode because you're not receptive and you're kind of a little... So it's, yes, the C word. We all use it. I'm just returning your energy, so... I didn't get upset until you started not being receptive to I'm irreceptive if you have substance. We haven't been through your finances yet to end anywhere.

Okay, carry on. In fact, I think I'm only halfway through. Carry on. 32% interest. Mattress firm. Her or you? Her. Great.

Why'd you pick the Butch one? Why did you choose that? I'm sorry, what? When did you pick the butch one? Trading as Schwab is now powered by Ameritrade, bringing you an expanding library of education with even more ways to sharpen your trading skills. Access new online courses, insightful webcasts, articles, engaging videos, and more

all curated just for traders. Plus, guided learning paths with content designed to fit your unique interests. No sifting to find exactly what you need, so you can spend your time learning to trade brilliantly. more at Schwab.com slash trading. Do you pick her? What do you mean? She's great. What did you guys meet?

In the military. Oh. We're in the same unit. Huh? We're in the same unit. Are you able to be in the military without other people in the military? I'm technically

never in the military. I show up like three days a month, so I don't know what that's supposed to mean. Thank goodness. disability for the rest of your life. Yeah. $120.70 is your minimum monthly payment.

Okay. So it's better be a really comfy night's sleep that you guys get, yeah? That wasn't bought with me. That was bought with her ex-wife. Oh, for a f***ic. Yeah. Well, who has it? We do.

Hate it. You have it. We have it. I sleep on it every fucking night. You hate it? Hate it. Why? It's so...

Because it wasn't bought with me. Who cares? Is it comfy or not? Previous stains that I'm sleeping on. Are there? You don't look? It's, you don't spend $8,000 on a mat. This is the shit I'm saying.

Like, okay, yeah, my spending accrues, but it's like $80, $200 there. But who buys an $8,000 mattress? They did. Right? It's a zero percent interest. I could never. Well, you wouldn't be qualified. Yes, but even if we were together and she had, there's been instances where she's tried to make ridiculous purchases like that.

And I say no, because it's. She lets. Not justifiable. Half the time. Well, what the fuck are we going to, how are we going to make it to the end then? Okay, so you have to sleep on the access mattress. Well, good. I'd rather you have the asset than not. I guess.

Is it comfortable? That's fine. Okay. I wouldn't have paid that much for it. Probably not. Mattresses are overpriced, but you can give better deals online typically. I mean, she went into a mattress firm. That's when you know it's bad.

And you deal with a salesperson at mattress firm. She's so great. Which one? My wife. Okay. So we're already feeling weird about our current wife. No, it's not weird. It's just hard to tell her no.

Sometimes. This is going to go so well. This whole existence you guys have together is going to go so well. All right. What do we have here? GECU, 16.85%. Balance 14,622. What is this?

Please tell me this is like a, car or something. It's a loan. It's just a loan? It's a consolidation loan. For who? For her. Oh my gosh.

She's, she needs to be here. She needs to be here. Okay, well, tell the president that. What does he make her do? I don't know how it works. Well, she works for him, so she can't just up and leave. Did they not have to get the travel?

She's not deployed, right? She's not deployed. She can't leave. She's on mission. Oh, she's on mission? Mm-hmm. Okay. Fine.

Okay, personal loan $14,622.60. $16.85% of interest. This is so fucking crazy, man. What's even the minimum monthly payment? Like, 402. Yeah. It's 402.

Okay, I was close. Relax. I'm basically done with you. I'm in 62 cents. This pen sucks. We took it out. out to pay off her credit cards. We?

Well, I had a hand in the decision. It was my idea. And I thought it was a great idea. Had we not kept the same behavior? But we did. Also, we spent like $2,000 on Christmas. We hosted. It was our first married Christmas together.

Andrew last, okay, that doesn't mean anything. Who cares? Well, it means something. is the lost. I don't fucking know, man. I've honestly just given up here. I mean, I don't... This is fucking crazy.

You're kind of crazy. You just now figure that out? No. No. I just unfortunately have to sit here. What? Are you having a great time? No!

I'm having a great time. Okay, so you're both... So you actually don't give a... Oh, I'm just... Oh, I'm waiting for you to give me substance. You don't give a single f-th. You don't give a single f-th. You don't care.

So shut the fuck up. Okay? If you don't give a-sh-th, I'm not spending time with you. If you don't give a-sh-sh-I'm not spending time with you. Okay? I've been done. I'm over this bull-th. You-you.

You, honestly, not receptive. You can't hold down one person. You are not teaching good life skills to your kids. You are going to be financially fift for the rest of your life. And I'm done. And the fact that you're just enjoying this. Oh, great. I don't give a f***.

Go be in poverty. If that's where you're going to end up, that's your choice. I wanted to do a wake-up call. I wanted to give you recommendations. I'm not doing it. You just been screaming for the last 16 minutes in here. I want to try something. You're not receptive.

You're done. How what am I supposed to see? You're not even giving me anything. You wouldn't let me get there. And I told you things you shouldn't be spending on and you wouldn't I would. You wouldn't, listen.

You wouldn't listen. You wouldn't listen. I'm going to do a laugh. Literally. I'm going to do a f fiend lap. I'm going to go get her. All I've been doing is listen. So.

You're gonna go. I don't like you. We don't necessarily host the best of the best in civilization. I know you're not looking at me. We're behind a paywall now. Can you tell us how many people you're with while you're married? How many? Oh.

Okay. Seriously, it could be worse. Did you really just give me a, it could have been worse when it came to cheating. You're a bad person. I have really back this up. I am not a bad person. You're a cheater. You're a bad person.

That's not fair. Are you in a relationship? Good for you. To watch the financial audit post show, click the join button below. If you used Babel, you would. Babel's conversation-based techniques teaches you useful words and phrases to get you speaking quickly about the things you actually talk about in the real world, with lessons handcrafted by over 200 language experts and voiced by real native speakers.

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