Financial Audit - He Assaulted Me | Financial Audit

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Starting point is 00:01:00 episodes of Financial Audit a week earlier, check us out on YouTube. I need your help, Daddy. What is wrong with you? I'm gay. You think you're fun, you think you're silly, you think you're cute. Shut the fuck up. Daddy, chill. What the hell is even that?

Starting point is 00:01:13 Colton told me you've been spending a ton on wicked merch. Guilty is charged. The income's wrong. The spending's wrong. The scams are wrong. The debt is wrong. Your behavior's wrong. I don't know.

Starting point is 00:01:23 Caleb, I told you. I don't look at that. You're a horrible excuse for a man. It's hot when you say that to me. F*** off with that bullshit. All right, all right. All right. Get your free trial to the Dollar Wise budgeting app today.

Starting point is 00:01:34 Join the tens of thousands of active users who are taking control of their money and changing their lives. With new features being added constantly, there's no reason not to try it. And if you like it, choose the annual version to save a ton of money and get my budget-friendly cookbooks signed by me and mailed directly to you. Dollarwise. Or link in the description below. Hey, I'm Oliver. I'm 26 from Omaha, Nebraska, and this is Financial Audit. You got the Galinda wand.

Starting point is 00:02:00 I have the Galinda wand. Yes, the bubble ones. Okay, I'm excited for Wicked Part 2 to come out. You are? You're a wicked fan? I like musicals. Good. It's gayer than bottoming, but I like musicals.

Starting point is 00:02:11 Well, I don't know if anything's gayer than bottoming, Caleb. Liking musicals. And I fully embrace it and support it and love it. I only brought this because this was not a good purchase. Oh, so you wanted to demonstrate your misbehavior. Yes. Well, thanks for coming on from Omaha. I'm sure Omaha Nebraska doesn't like your kind.

Starting point is 00:02:33 What do you mean my kind? The gays, the Latinos. No, the gays. Latinos don't like them either. But thanks for coming down to Austin. Austin loves the gays. There is a gay bar. There's some good gay bars down there.

Starting point is 00:02:48 Down where? In Omaha? Omaha's below Austin? It's not. I meant up there, but. You're just always thinking of a bottoming. Maybe. Always wanting to be on the bottom.

Starting point is 00:02:56 Well, what's going through your mind? Especially when I'm across a handsome man like you. Okay. Let's, let's, let's, let's, let's listen. I don't have time to jack off. I hear you call it something else now. What are you doing? Is that what it is?

Starting point is 00:03:11 What are you doing Omaha for a living? I work in payroll for a company that does, like, technology, like a tech company for businesses. So we're like a self-service company. Yes, yes, Oliver. Payroll. Very good. Yes. And what do you make? in payroll. It's a new job.

Starting point is 00:03:33 Because you pay yourself, you process your own pay, what do you make? You should know more than anyone in the history of the show how much Oliver makes. Well, that's, yeah, okay. Well, I make 1950, now an hour,

Starting point is 00:03:44 so it's like 40. I don't even, honestly, Omaha, Nebraska, I know it exists. I can't even... Can I point the Nebraska? Shit, I'm usually actually pretty damn good at maps. I don't think I could point

Starting point is 00:03:55 to Omaha Nebraska. I certainly don't know... Do you know... We're not doing a test, but... I'm just like the cost of living there. Honestly, I really do try to lock in different regions, understand the cost of living so I can have those conversations better.

Starting point is 00:04:09 Better. I cannot think of Omaha Nebraska. How does 19, what did you say? 1950. How does 1950 stretch there? Are you getting 40 hours a week? Yes. Okay.

Starting point is 00:04:18 What does that hit per paycheck? And what's that per paycheck cycle? So it's about like 17,000 gross and then I get like 1,200. $1,000. I mean $1,700, not $17,000. Per paycheck every other week. I'm assuming. Yes, sir.

Starting point is 00:04:31 By week. Oh, gross. What's not? 1,200. So there's like $500 of taxes getting taken out. And I appreciate you're flirting even if it's not my preferred thing. What do you mean? I'm not into men.

Starting point is 00:04:44 Sure about that? You sure about that? You sure about that? But also, I think you came with your boyfriend. I saw him earlier. That is my lesbian friend. And she's a huge fan, so she's going to be really mad that you think she's like, well, I don't know. I'll apologize afterwards.

Starting point is 00:05:03 She, wow. Oh, boy, Caleb. I just didn't want you to do any unintentional. No, I'm single, ready to mingle, came down to Austin. You're here, Brandon's here, Colton's over there. Okay, Colton's actually gay. And we love that for Colton. Colton and I have been viving, so.

Starting point is 00:05:25 Yeah. We've been. No, we love it. We've been. Colton literally just got engaged, not married, engaged. Well, congratulations, Colton. So you got to stop trying to take. First of all, I'm taken.

Starting point is 00:05:35 Colton's taken. I'm also not gay. Colton is very gay. And Brandon? Brandon already has AIDS. So, like, I just, I want you to be very careful where you're stepping around here. Okay. I appreciate that.

Starting point is 00:05:49 And unfortunately, there's a fourth man in this room right now named Wes who got really left out of the flirtation. Actually, my friend knew him and said hello to him when he was setting up. And he was, no, my friend who you thought was a guy. Oh, the Les. Yes, the Les. She, like, saw Wes, like, getting set up in here, and she was like, oh, my God, that's Wes. And he was like, oh, my God, I've only been in, like, two videos. Oh, my gosh, okay.

Starting point is 00:06:11 So, 2400. How does that stretch in Omaha, Nebraska? I'm sure not as stretched as your hole, but how are you doing? Well, I'm struggling, and that's just like me. So it. Why are you struggling? Because I can't say no. And I can't.

Starting point is 00:06:32 To what? To... To... To... To... Like, I've been scammed... I've been scammed... Oliver.

Starting point is 00:06:41 Several times, Caleb. Like, and you think... Okay, that's going in a different direction than you're kind of... Make it that sound like... Scam. Victim? Well, yeah, but I don't want to... Uh-huh.

Starting point is 00:06:52 Come out here and be like... What's your little scam? Which one? There's several. Go down the... If that's why you're here, what is your... Okay, these are the reasons why I'm here. Because, uh... First one...

Starting point is 00:07:03 This is like, first one's a sugar daddy scam. Off the app. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Were you the daddy or? No, I'm the baby. Look at me. I'm the baby. Well, you never lost the baby fat, but.

Starting point is 00:07:17 Some guys like it. Absolutely. I'm, I'm thick as a trunk. Yeah, you are. All about it. Yeah. Yeah, you are. All right.

Starting point is 00:07:28 So the sugar daddy one happened like two, three years ago. And there wasn't you meet Mr. Daddy. Off the app. It was a sugar daddy app. No. Grindr. Oh, Grindr. The app.

Starting point is 00:07:40 We love the Grindr stock. Nothing but to the moon on that. Because gays can't stop. And, you know, I love that. And that, you know, makes me regret that I never went, you know, full gay, full buy. Because the selection, the selection off of apps like that. Listen, and bumble in hand just quite easy. Instagram is a good play.

Starting point is 00:08:00 Well, I don't think anything will be Grindr. And unfortunately, we just don't get that. If you want to see what happens in the straight dating world, look at match group, look at Bumble, all those stocks are in the tank. Look at Dixon Buhl Grinder, that stock is going to the moon. Yeah, because men are horny f***s. Exactly. So if there was a straight grinder, that would be the best performing stock in the history of the world.

Starting point is 00:08:25 Well, Caleb, there's plenty of straight guys on Grindr as well, too. Plenty of D.L. But you fell for a scam on Grindr. I did. Via Grindr or Someone else was on there? No, like it was a grinder account and

Starting point is 00:08:40 Okay, the only reason I fell for it was because I had just gotten back from Las Vegas. I'm confused how because you went to Vegas you fell for a grinder scam when you landed in Omaha. So I got back in town and I had like... With the five other gays?

Starting point is 00:08:54 I actually went with a friend who I'm no longer friends with anymore which we'll get some later. I know a few things about grinder and I don't know what do you know about grinder? Well, I know it shows distance. Yeah, it does. How many people are within five miles?

Starting point is 00:09:05 It doesn't always show distance. So you can like toggle if it shows it or not. So this account didn't have the distance on it. Oh, and that's not a red flag. It was a red flag. A red flag that you fell for a scam. Yes, I saw the red flags and I said, let's still go through it.

Starting point is 00:09:20 Because I wanted it to be real, you know? What was the scam? Tell me, okay, what did you fall for that f***ed you? This is so embarrassing. By the way, I would suggest it's more your behavior than falling for scams. But I'm going to go down, I'm going to allow you to

Starting point is 00:09:33 go down this rabbit hole so I can learn you a bit more. Okay, yes. So he, this, like, account message me, right? And he's just, they're all fake. And they just always, like, message someone. They're like, hey, I'm looking for, like, a baby, like a sugar baby. Like, all you have to do is like... Oh, I was going to say, because the other...

Starting point is 00:09:48 Yeah, you can't make a baby. No. So they're, like, just message me whenever, like, just keep me company. Like, I'm just a hardworking man or whatever. And, like, I just need, like, company. And then he was like, I'll pay you. Like, I'll give you... this like money to deposit into your checking account.

Starting point is 00:10:06 For what? To keep in, and then, did you see pictures of this person? Yeah, he sent me pictures, but they were like. Was he just trying to fuck her?

Starting point is 00:10:13 No, like he. It's kind of prostitutionish, a little. Well, I mean, a little. Which I'm okay with if people are consensually doing it.

Starting point is 00:10:19 Uh, but honestly he probably just wanted to breed. He wasn't real. Like, oh. Like, he probably was like someone in like, fucking like New York or like Israel or something shit.

Starting point is 00:10:28 And he. So, he didn't even want the bussy. No, he didn't. Just wanted the scam. I just wanted the money, right? Like, I just wanted the money from him. That's it.

Starting point is 00:10:37 And he just was like, just mess to me whenever, and then I'll send you this money, and you just deposit it and go about your day. And that's what I did. And then I, he like, he emailed me these checks, okay, from a company that was not, that was not like the company that he told me

Starting point is 00:10:52 he worked for, like did or whatever, right? Well, I don't really know about email checks. I've never been emailed a check. He emailed me like a PDF of a check. Like, that's just what he did. Are you? Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:11:06 Who's ever been emailed a check? Me. And how many checks were you emailed from this? It's probably like two or three. And I deposited them. And then my bank account, my bank, my bank was like, hey, these are fraudulent. And it like bounced back. So then my bank account went like negative like $5,000.

Starting point is 00:11:29 You redeemed? Never redeem. I, yeah, I redeemed it, which I should not have done, obviously. How much was it? Like, five grand. So then, like, my entire checking account, I know. Dude, you're an idiot for that. That's not even getting scammed.

Starting point is 00:11:43 I am a f***er. Yes, you technically got scammed, but you almost deserved it for being that dumb. Digital checks. Yeah. What is wrong with you? I wanted the money, Caleb. I was like, I didn't have any other money. Obviously.

Starting point is 00:11:56 But listen, if this person lived in Omaha, that's where I was like, digital checks, that's a little weird. hey, how about maybe drop off a check or how about you Venmo me or here's my cash up, here's my Zelle. Literally anything that exists in our civilized civilization. I just didn't think it through

Starting point is 00:12:16 at all. Because I wanted it to be real. I was like, I know. I know. I'm like, all these other people are. But you said there's other scams? What are these other scams you're falling for? Which, by the way, your miscellating is bullshit

Starting point is 00:12:29 is approximately 25% of your income that was spent last month. So fuck you. It's not just getting scammed. you're destroying your entire life. But I will allow you to continue to go down the hole of ridiculousness. What's your other scam? Other scam is an Instagram scam. It's all DMs online.

Starting point is 00:12:47 It kind of is. You're falling for DMs? You're trying to slide in the DMs? You're trying to slide? I'm a desperate gang, I guess. A desperate because you're not getting any? Yeah, not as much as I want. Well, it is...

Starting point is 00:12:59 Anyway, that's not the point. The point is... No, no, there is a reality that if you... are on, again, I have a little grinder knowledge. I like to do my research. You know, I'm an educated individual. We need to explore this a little more. I need to know, like, what your experience is here with men.

Starting point is 00:13:15 Have a good Christmas? Yes. Do you like movies? Yeah. Have you been with a man? Yeah. No. No!

Starting point is 00:13:20 You talk like you've been on Grindr before. No, I just find things very funny. But once I go through and the lore, we know the lore. If you're black on Grindr, you get blocked immediately. I'm getting a head down from Colton. This is, yeah. It's usually no blacks, no fatties. You qualify in the fatty.

Starting point is 00:13:42 So that's why you're not getting laid on Grindr. It's like, this is Grindr lore. It's probably for the better, honestly. Well, yes, it probably is. He definitely, come on. You don't need to be taking raw dick 24 hours a day. But it's fun. But you're right.

Starting point is 00:13:57 No blacks, no fatties. I'm not supporting this. I am not. boosting that up, but that is kind of what is that app is known for. Yeah, it's very shallow. The gay's not like non-abbed. And the gays do, yeah, I don't, you know. And the gays do not like not white.

Starting point is 00:14:22 Well, I'm on their hookups. You're white passing. I am white passing, but I am Latino, but still. So I'm sorry for that. So, but that's why you're falling for these. scams. Anyway, this... That's why you're following for these scams.

Starting point is 00:14:34 You get a DM, you get excited, you're like, oh, I can feel my asshole. Pretty much. Pretty much. Okay. This, like, bodybuilder, like, workout guy, like, message me and, like, literally, right? Like, he had, like, a girlfriend or something probably and was just, like, asking if I wanted to, like, make money really, really fast. Why would, when you read that and you're not a f*** moron, how would you read that and think

Starting point is 00:14:59 that might be... The dumb, idiotic gay that I'm like, oh my God, this dumb idiotic gay, that's not a thing. This hot man just messaged me wanting to help me. In fact, gay men tend to be some of the better off people in this country financially. So this is a, yes, exactly. So, oh, the dumb gay me? No, you can't fall back on that.

Starting point is 00:15:17 You're not a lesbian. The gay men are doing very well. They are. And I wish. So good luck falling back on that stereotype. So what? They promised a lot of money quickly for what? For why?

Starting point is 00:15:29 How much? Like, it's like one of those. like investing things, like you invest like $500 and you get like $5 grand out in like a day or two. Yes. No, I've never even heard of this. You can't just say one of those investing things I've never heard of this. What is this one of those investing things? It was like a trading

Starting point is 00:15:42 thing. What trading thing? What are you talking to? It was like an online like trading platform or something. I have no idea. I know. I know. But how do you put the money in without even selecting the trade that you're getting that return on investment? Sounds like a quick day trade. But what the I honestly don't remember how I sent him the money now that I'm thinking about it. Because it was like a website that I had to like sign up for and like make an account

Starting point is 00:16:02 and then I probably just like wired money over from my checking account into it. You don't even know the site. You don't remember the site. It's like okay another red flag that I just like walked right passed by is like you're too desperate for that dick. I really am. I am.

Starting point is 00:16:21 The website was like giant FX but it was like misspelled it was like Gaines FX or some shit like that guys I know I know. I know you I know. What is wrong with you? Again, again, listen, if you were robbed outside of your house, I'd be like, yeah, that sucks.

Starting point is 00:16:39 You fell for the two dumbest possible things ever. I almost can't feel sympathy. I know. I do feel a little, but it's smaller than normal for a typical scam. There is no sympathy. You're not a boomer who got scammed about, like, with their kids' AI voicing and I need bail money or something. I feel like I am like a boomer who's, like, on Facebook and see something and there's like, oh, my God, that's so true. How much did you lost 500?

Starting point is 00:17:02 So yeah, I probably put in about like $500, $800. And then it like apparently like went to like $16 grand, right? And then I tried to like withdraw that money because I want $16 grand. Uh-huh. And it didn't like they just wouldn't let me withdraw for some reason. There was like something where I had to like pay more, right? I don't. It was a scam.

Starting point is 00:17:27 So just I lost all that money. And I try to like get a bag. I try to like like fight these people and like email them back and forth. And they just like would not like give me my money. So then I just. From Gainesfx.com. Yeah. They didn't want to give you their money back.

Starting point is 00:17:43 Correct. Hmm. Correct. That's interesting. Yeah. Is there more? Yeah. Okay.

Starting point is 00:17:50 Okay. Well actually this one's not that bad, Caleb. Okay. This one's not that bad because I didn't lose any money out of it. But I did like go past a lot of red flags again. Which is making. be really concerned because if we make a budget and we address the spending and you get on it but you fall for a

Starting point is 00:18:05 scam you ruin the entire thing. Exactly. This is very concerning. And again, this isn't you got a scam that a victim. This is you're a falling for scams. That's why I need your help. Dude, literally, there's not much I can no, no, no, no, there is not much I can do to say don't go to Gainesfx.com and give them unlimited money

Starting point is 00:18:24 or a faceless, distantless profile asking you to redeem something. And so I'm just doored. one evening and I get this order. And as soon as I get this order, I get a call from DoorDash. Like it says DoorDash on the thing. And it's some guy and he's like, hey, this order that you just got. Like, he knew the order.

Starting point is 00:18:42 He knew the name. He was like, this order was like accidentally placed. So we're going to have you cancel the order. And then we're going to like reimburse you for like your lost time or like wasted time. And I was like, okay. And he like, he had like my phone number and like my email. So he like made me verify that. So that's why I was kind of like.

Starting point is 00:19:01 This guy sounds like he's from DoorDash. It says DoorDash. He verified my information. But then on how he was going to like reimburse me was, was, the other thing is he was like, he, like, had my bank account information or he was, like, asking me for it. And, of course, me being the I was, I was confirming everything and telling him what was in there. And so then he asked me to move all my money from my bank account to, like, my Apple Cash

Starting point is 00:19:30 card. And then... Dude, what the f-f-you are just insane. I am. And then he gave me like a... Okay. Pause. Okay.

Starting point is 00:19:39 Pause. I'm sorry, I just burbs. Can we bring in the lesbian real quick? You want to bring her in already? Pause. Come on in. Hello. Oh, you're a woman.

Starting point is 00:19:49 Here, can you lean in real quick? Genuine question. Yeah. Is your friend a... Immediate thinking is yes. Exactly. That's what I thought. Thank you for your service.

Starting point is 00:20:02 We'll see you in the post show. She's a very reliable source. We'll see you in the post show. Thank you. And good luck on vaginas. So we have confirmation that I am. Yes. I am not the brightest bulb in the batch.

Starting point is 00:20:13 Yes. So, okay, so he asked me to move all my money from my checking account to like my Apple cash card. I don't need the rest. I get it. You fall for scams. Are you sure? You don't want the rest.

Starting point is 00:20:23 No, I don't. I want to start. I get it. You're into scams. You get into scams. And that is a deep concern. I need your help, Daddy. You know.

Starting point is 00:20:33 Please. I see you help all these other people. You know, it's interesting. Some of them. What's weird is we have a little triangle. We have a little triangle here. Oh? Triangle of what?

Starting point is 00:20:44 To a certain extent. Well, you find me attractive. I do. I'm not into that and that's okay. But I almost for a second kind of found her attractive. Think a little. Just on the edgy side, on the edgy side. I meet my friend, Alex.

Starting point is 00:20:59 But she's not into me. No. And so... You thought she was a boy. From a far distance away. Once I saw her in person, I was like, oh, that's a woman with the boobs. She used to have really, really long hair. Oh, that's okay.

Starting point is 00:21:13 We're not defending it. I'm just saying we have an interesting triangle. She's going to like that you found her attractive. I'll tell her myself. I don't give a... Okay. Okay. She might go straight for you.

Starting point is 00:21:22 Stop. So, like in 23, I went to Las Vegas in September to see Drake perform. Two years ago, okay. We're still going back to that. Yeah, that was a while back. and I was, I went with a friend of mine. Why is it important? Why is it important?

Starting point is 00:21:34 Why is that important to this conversation? Because I went on this trip with this friend who I'm no longer friends with, which I'll get to as well. Well, I don't know if I care, but okay. You will. Does it involve your money? Yeah, kind of. Anyway, I went on this trip with her to Las Vegas where I had to go see Drake. Is that where all this shit started?

Starting point is 00:21:53 Is that what you're trying to say? Pretty much. Okay. Because like, because I told you, I spent my entire paycheck there in Las Vegas. Well, that's one month. Two years ago. Yeah. And that sparked the sugar daddy thing, which put me $5,000 in debt.

Starting point is 00:22:07 Okay, so you didn't have money. So you looked for the Insta. Now it makes sense. You didn't have money because you spent all months income. I think the Instagram one was before I went to Las Vegas. And then I went to Las Vegas. Yes, I have always been stupid. And then this guy's like, I'll give you money.

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Starting point is 00:24:42 Sign it for chime. Get that $350 right now in your checking account. Scam or not scammed? The debt you have is obviously horrendous, but even without it, I don't know if $2,400 is something that we can live with. Omaha. Nebraska sure is a whole, but Omaha on the border of Nebraska and Iowa. I don't know if,

Starting point is 00:25:02 I don't know how livable long term that is. I mean, we're talking net a year, right? 28,000. This is a new job as well, too. Like, I just started this in like September. I mean, I think that becomes the issue, no. I mean, get everything else under control. You can't make, you can't make a life on that.

Starting point is 00:25:19 Okay. Everything's wrong. Everything's a computer. The income's wrong. The spending's wrong. scams are wrong. The debt is wrong. Your behavior's wrong. Everything's wrong. There's not one thing looking up. Yeah. It's a fix across the board that's required. But there is no point of changing one thing if nothing else changes around it. If you change your spending without

Starting point is 00:25:41 changing the income, if you change the income without changing the spending, if you change both of those without changing getting scammed, you're not falling into scams, not even getting scams. By I'm being very clear. How much debt do you have? What's your debt number? Let's say like 30,000. Let's say, you wouldn't know, by the way, about 40,000. So off by a fourth, that's horrendous. What a percentage to be off. Why are you, how do you not know how much debt you have?

Starting point is 00:26:06 That's unacceptable. Because I try not to think about it. Try not to think about it. Why? You're coming down the show. Because it stresses me out. Would it not stress you out to have it continued to go up instead of actually tackling it for the first time? I mean, it does, but like I... It's a delay stress.

Starting point is 00:26:18 Yeah, I'm more in like the instant gratification, which is why I bought the wand, because I, like, really... How much was the fucking wand? $20. Okay. Okay, what are we talking about? I mean, $20, no, that's not great, but miscellaneous bullshit, he spent in 700. So, you know, last month. I spent, so fuck off.

Starting point is 00:26:33 I mean, yeah. So fuck off. This doesn't make sense, dude. And, I mean, Colton's saying that you just hate the idea of budgeting and you hate the idea of taxes, too, not that you're, you're not even paying any taxes. You're one of the people, you're literally in the bottom 50% of earnings in this country. Okay, that's fine. That's not a knock against you.

Starting point is 00:26:51 Wait, we're not paying taxes. Buddy, listen. If you're paying any taxes. It's consumerism taxes. Your income taxes after everything and then the standard deductions and everything, it's going to be pennies. It's going to be pennies on the dollar. You contribute to less. Your group, and it's not dogging against you.

Starting point is 00:27:10 You're in the bottom 50% of earners. You contribute less than 1% in income taxes in this country. That's fine. And that's fine. I'm not even bitching and moaning about it. But it's like, how are you complaining about taxes? You make $30,000 a year. You're the one being subsidized in almost every way.

Starting point is 00:27:25 whatsoever. More so if you had kids, but, you know, don't get that for bottoming. No, thank God. So what are you complaining about taxes? What are you talking about? I don't like paying them. But you barely do anything. I'm sure there's sales tax in Nebraska. Maybe there's a slight income tax, but even with you're, we don't even have a value added tax in this country on a federal level. What are you complaining about? How can you bitch and moan, but not be willing to look to see what your numbers are to accurately bitch and moan about.

Starting point is 00:28:00 Because... How can you even pay rent on this, if we're being honest? It's a little tricky. What's your living situation? So I live with my sister. With your sister? Yes, we moved in together last year. So she's six years older than I am.

Starting point is 00:28:14 And she... I was her, I'd be nervous that you can't pay rent sometimes. She's a little nervous. Yeah, no shit. I did... Okay, when I wasn't employed, yes. Like, that makes sense. And I had help from...

Starting point is 00:28:25 Yeah, that's why you haven't emerged. Fun for emergencies, but you've never had that because you spend money on Galinda ones. Yes. So I was, my parents were very kind, which I was. Kind in which way? The unkind, kind like enablement or kind like they told you to fuck off? Well, you'll probably think enablement because they gave me money and I have not paid them back. How much?

Starting point is 00:28:48 Like this summer. This summer? We know. I didn't have my job. For one month you said. How much? I was waiting for the high pitch to come out. probably like

Starting point is 00:28:59 1,200, I would say. One time or overall? Just one time. Oh, dude. So how'd that conversation go down? I literally broke down to them. Great. So you manipulated.

Starting point is 00:29:13 You manipulated, they enabled. What a wonderful relationship we have here. Listen. Open ears. Open ears continue to exist. I know. I'm just like any, when I think about saying this,

Starting point is 00:29:31 is just going to sound like, you know, a victim thing, which I understand. So, yeah, I quit my job and I was applying for a bunch of other jobs that I was very qualified for. And they just, like, were not getting back to me. So the job market was, like, very hard, especially in Omaha. So I just broke down to them because, like, my dad has worked at a company in Omaha for, like, 30 years. Then why stay in Omaha? Take a lesbian with you. Go somewhere with opportunity.

Starting point is 00:29:58 Omaha is not a place that's at least nationally known for opportunity Maybe state-wide, but You have the ability to move anywhere and do anything That's what's really awesome I don't think I can though Why? Because I can't afford it No, but sometimes even like It's not like I want you to go into a shit

Starting point is 00:30:18 First of all, you can do things on the cheap Even when I moved here to Austin from Michigan I sold almost everything packed up my sedan Came down here barely spent a dime Okay, insult on an air matches for nine months while I was grinding to pay off debt. You can do things on the cheap. You don't need to go full booge wherever you go.

Starting point is 00:30:35 And yes, places are more expensive that have more opportunities. That is 100% true. Live on the outskirts. Live in a small thing. Split a studio with the Les. And then, you know, you sacrifice temporarily. And even if you have to go in a little bit of debt as a good return on investment to have wide more, plethora of opportunities to make way more money and pay off your

Starting point is 00:30:55 debt, that's kind of worth it. By the way, you told Colton $2,000 for my money. mom and dad. So you're kind of, I don't know if you don't remember or you're lying. Yes. More don't remember, I guess. So you can go anywhere. That's it, just the cost?

Starting point is 00:31:09 That's what makes you nervous? Well, that and, like, drop, like, dropping into a new city, not knowing anybody and, like, just, hmm. It doesn't, it doesn't. No, take the less with you. She wants to stay in Omaha. She has some family stuff going on as well, too. There's, like, keeping her there right now, so.

Starting point is 00:31:23 Forced to keep or? Well, her parents are, like, pretty sick right now. So she's like the caretaker for both different parents. It's this whole thing, I know. I mean, I just never thought about moving to another city, I guess. Really? You've never thought about opportunity. Elsewhere. That's what the gays are usually born with, leaving their small Midwestern town.

Starting point is 00:31:44 I'm a funny gay because, like, I'm gay in some ways, and other ways I'm, like, not gay at all. But you are... I can't think of one thing that's not gay about you. Wicked, musicals, Galinda, bottoming, fat, femme. Grindr. Daddy. Daddy. Sugar Daddy.

Starting point is 00:32:02 Scam. You're very gay. Very gay. My thank you. Hyper gay. Even though you broke up with your last ex for being two femme, which is odd. But okay. So my past exes are...

Starting point is 00:32:17 Gays are also the most homophobic, too. It's really weird. It really is. You gays are creatures. Okay. My last ex was like a new, like... I'd never date anybody like that, like that fent. I like manly men like you and burrower.

Starting point is 00:32:31 Brandon, like, like, I hardly even describe myself as, like, an ultra, like, well, you don't look gay, right? Like, if I just see you, like, you don't, like, look gay right off the bat. Is that an insults or a compliment? I don't even know. Whatever you want it to be, I guess. Like, I don't... I just look like a dude. You look like a dude. You're a thick, down 20, but... You're a thick, tall, dark, handsome man. How am I supposed to compare with Pearl's old boyfriend? Mr. Long 10 and handsome. All 5'9. Average American metal, thank you.

Starting point is 00:32:57 You're tall to me. It sucks to be a... Kind of does, but... Then you get to be a little spoon all the time, so that's nice. And a little. You get to like, you know, like, just a little. He just literally rubbed my leg. That's never happened.

Starting point is 00:33:10 And that was a salt. That was a salt. All right. All right. If we, if I was one of those oversensationalized freaks on the internet, I would claim you just raped me. Did you like it? No. Which is why I literally pulled my legs away.

Starting point is 00:33:25 I was actually relaxing and stretched out. Stretched out. Excuse me. Can I? Can I? Yeah, you can, you can. Can I call an HR, please? You're a naughty, naughty boy.

Starting point is 00:33:40 I'm very naughty. Welcome Valeria, everyone. She's in the post show set with Oliver's other crush Brandon, but Valeria, our head of people here at Hammer Media, am I able to make an HR complaint against the guest? Because I don't know. The dude has just caressed my legs under the table without asking permission.

Starting point is 00:34:00 Or, and I've very clearly expressed no interest. I don't know if it's that clear. Uh-huh. I guess consent is flexible in the gay community. It's a gray area. You can make a complaint, yes, because it's anybody that we work with or... Are they technically worked? Well, he's in here on work premises.

Starting point is 00:34:23 Premises. You know, if, you know, it's as broad as contractors, just anybody that we, you know, come and... He's not a contractor, though. I know, I know. But anybody that... you know, we have some sort of relationship with that's coming into the office. Can I sue him for hundreds of thousands of dollars? Can you sue him for a hundred, no?

Starting point is 00:34:47 What can I do? What can you do? You can lodge a complaint. And let's say if this continues, if this continues, if we wanted to do some sort of follow-up, if he continues making you uncomfortable, we could ban him from the office. Oh, that's it? There's no upside?

Starting point is 00:35:10 This is why we needed to be in New York. I could have sued him. Is there an upside? I guess if he came in again and continued to do this, and maybe if there was stocking outside the office and fall. He seems to know a lot about me, by the way. He seems to know a lot about me. I watched the show.

Starting point is 00:35:34 I don't know the things I say. I don't know. If he turns up at your house, just take note. I know what car you drive. She's welcome to my house? I'm not. No. No.

Starting point is 00:35:47 You can drop her off. My lesbian friend. Okay. So a complaint. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's... Well, logic complaints. Very good.

Starting point is 00:35:55 Okay. Thank you, Valia. W.H.R. and chat. You never thought you'd hear that. H.R. All right, let's jump into these finances because, again, I'm skeptical of actually making a change to them because you're just going to fall for another bottoming scam. I don't even know, but what do you think your financial score is zero to ten? Zero being the worst, 10 being the best.

Starting point is 00:36:14 I have taken the quiz. Calebhammer.com, we love that. 1.3. Okay. I say that proudly with my chest. I know you're proud. Listen, take that quiz, Calebhammer.com, see where you're staying in the world of finances, where you're doing poorly, where you're doing great, what you need. to do to fix your situation and get to a better place.

Starting point is 00:36:32 Just takes a few minutes and it is free at Calebhammer.com. And if you don't want to be like a guest who ends up on the show, make sure you download the Dollar Wise Budget app. It's incredible tens of thousands of subscribers for a reason with new features being added every single month to change your finances. Take control finely dollarwise. Dot app. Take the free trial.

Starting point is 00:36:48 See if you like it. And if you do, sign up for the annual version to save a lot of money. And when you do, I will personally sign my budget friend of the cookbook and mail it directly to your door as a reward that only exists for another month or two. by the time this comes out, and then it's gone forever. Yeah, where's the cookbook? So here it is, and it's right to you. All righty.

Starting point is 00:37:09 What am I seeing? I see a Discover card, but not like a normal statement, just like the activity list? I mean, I see a late fee out of the gate, but I don't even see the balance on here, Dick. What's the balance, Dick? Why don't you set a statement like we request, dick? It's probably like 5,000.

Starting point is 00:37:28 Pull it up on your phone, you're... I'd no longer have access to it on my phone. Why? Huh? Why? You got scammed again? What happened? Maybe.

Starting point is 00:37:36 Maybe. No, what happened? I, like, overdraw it. Like, I'm... Wishing you could be there live for the big game, soaking up the atmosphere in the crowd. But too often, life gets busy. Or the price holds you back.

Starting point is 00:37:53 Price Line is here to help you make it happen. With millions of deals on flights, hotels, rental cars, you can go see the game live. Don't just dream about the trip. Book it with Priceline. Download the Priceline app or visit Priceline.com. Actual prices may vary, limited time offer. But you can still log in to make a payment?

Starting point is 00:38:16 I can't. Yes, you can. There's no way. That's impossible. What are you talking about? Is it in collections? Were you not paying on it? Maybe. I was not paying on it. Because I didn't want to.

Starting point is 00:38:27 Or because I couldn't. Mostly because I could. So you think the balance is? Most, okay. This card. You think the balance is... It's like $5,000. $5,000.

Starting point is 00:38:35 What's the minimum monthly payment? Oh, God. I see a late fee here in interest charging like crazy. Probably like $300, $400 now at this point. No, I know you're backed up. But what is the normal minimum monthly payment on it? When we put it in your budget, I know you have to play catch up on it. The normal one was like $150.

Starting point is 00:38:55 as a minimum payment. This is like the first card, like the first credit card I ever got to like build my credit. But then I also bought merchandise with that, which I know you're very happy about. Why? Because.

Starting point is 00:39:11 It was an intention. Momentary gratification over the, like, you know, big picture. That racked all the way up to the five. Yeah, Diva. It did. It dead. Okay.

Starting point is 00:39:24 I was living with my, at the time. He was a bum, okay, big bum. I opened. Oh, we're gonna blame it on someone else.

Starting point is 00:39:31 All right. Let's go throughout this. Is this the big femme? No, this is the one before. Okay, big mask? Yeah, yeah, big mask.

Starting point is 00:39:38 Definitely not black. No, he's white. Yeah. But we'll call him Doug. Okay. Yeah, Doug. What's the Doug do? Doug, um,

Starting point is 00:39:46 didn't really do much. Like, he was, uh, working at a school and then wasn't and then was only working like a summer, job. Okay. Why is this

Starting point is 00:39:57 you? Because boyfriend, not a husband, not a partner, not a... And it like does come back to me where I couldn't like put my foot down. Listen, how long are you guys dating? Like two and a half years. Okay. And we live together. Like I had moved in with him. What are you complaining about? What happened

Starting point is 00:40:13 though? Because we were like legit like broke, like down to like paycheck after paycheck is like... Hey, well that sounds like it involves you too. It does. And I, yeah, again, like it just sounds like I'm going to blame him, like we just ate out all the time. We like never like cooked indoors that much or like. I can tell. You know, and I just took the card out and we would just go out to the bars as well in Omaha and get drunk.

Starting point is 00:40:39 The bars in Omaha. Yeah. They have those here in Austin, right? How many are there enough to choose from to really? There's a good handful. Applebee's. They have a bar. That is true.

Starting point is 00:40:49 I don't. Okay. Okay. Very good. I don't have a good like grasp on my finances. clearly. And I was mostly just like trying to escape

Starting point is 00:41:01 my like home life at my parents' house and that's kind of like why I moved in with him because I moved in with him. I don't have a problem with them move in. It's your behavior all throughout in there. Now you're just blaming it on him. So you can't blame him for you moving in. I'm not going to blame him. I'll blame him. I'll blame me because I definitely like moved out and was like, oh yeah.

Starting point is 00:41:17 I'm on my own. I can do whatever the I want. I can stay out. I can eat whatever I want. How long was this going on? I mean, it's still going on, Caleb, if we're being serious. Yes, obviously. We are, but you're blaming on him. I was, but no, I'm not. But yeah.

Starting point is 00:41:33 And then what is this? With this Galinda shit, like, did you see wicked? You're spending a shit time. Did you see wicked? Like, have you seen it? I literally said at the beginning of this conversation, I liked it. Okay, so what do you not get about it?

Starting point is 00:41:45 Like, did you see Ariana Grande? Did you hear her singing? Were you willing to let me finish my sentence? Yeah, go ahead. I'll let you finish whenever. Wherever, too. You ask Colton on the phone call if I have a nice, ass? I did. This is weird.

Starting point is 00:42:01 You're always sitting. I have an incredible, yes, yeah, I'm thicked up. No. Why not? Why would I ever show you any part of my body? You already showed me your belly when you stretched. It wasn't an intentional show. Well, I saw it. Yeah, so it's on my Instagram. You're right. That is true.

Starting point is 00:42:20 I'm kicked up. Do I follow you on Instagram? I don't know. No. I would not know. Anyway. Either way. I did ask him if your butt is cute because I do like, I mean, who doesn't like a butt. What did he say? What did he say?

Starting point is 00:42:33 What did he say? I think he said, yeah. Yeah, that's what he said. The correct answer is yes. Well, I know that. But no, you don't. Yes, he said he's taken, like you said earlier. Oh my gosh, I'm surrounded.

Starting point is 00:42:47 Okay. Oh, it's fine. Just stop! Listen, can I have this conversation? Colton told me you've been spending a shit ton on wicked merch. Yeah. Guilty is charged. So the previous...

Starting point is 00:43:01 you had to travel last night because of a Wicked TV special. So we're going into debt. Like your lesbian friend told Colton that you've spent thousands. Thousands on Wicked alone. Yeah. Thousands on Wicked alone. That is insane. I didn't think it was that much.

Starting point is 00:43:15 All well, literally, listen, I have another late fee on this next card coming up. You're not paying your minimum payments that are honestly, yeah, they're chunky, they're chunky, but thousands on Wicked, well, you're only making $2,400 a month, struggling to pay our rent, making our sister, potentially have to foot the bill, making our parents 100% have to put the bill. She's not fronting the bone. Yeah, but she's nervous about it. And you're blowing all that

Starting point is 00:43:38 money on wicked instead of making your minimum of the payments. Wicked Journal, wicked blanket, wicked cat toys, wicked insanity. Wicked insanity. Yeah, that. The Funko pops. There's a jacket. There's a mirror I got that lights up

Starting point is 00:43:55 that has like Emerald City on the back. I have... But you're almost like proud of this. You're talking like you're proud. This is disgusting while your parents are paying your money. You're not making your men with the payments. Why is this considered considered acceptable in any way whatsoever? Because I thought I needed it and it would make me feel better.

Starting point is 00:44:12 What need? Listen, I understand when people think they like need to go out because, oh, mental health, okay. Oh, I need food. Listen, it's still stupid and I'll argue against it. But how can you define this as a need? It's an emotional support wand. What do you mean? I hold it and I feel like Glinda and I feel like

Starting point is 00:44:28 like a good witch, you know. Are you eight? When I held a stick, I thought I was like a Jedi. That was exciting. Is that Star Wars? Yes. Oh. Cool.

Starting point is 00:44:43 You're a 26-year-old man. You don't need to put the quotation marks. I don't know. I'm insulting you. Because you're upsetting me. But... Starbucks is bullshit and a waste of money. And you already know that by making your comment.

Starting point is 00:44:58 at home and invest in the rest. So now you need to do that with your energy drink as well. Make Gamer Subs at home for just 40 cents a serving. And honestly, it literally tastes better. And we proved this accidentally via a blind taste test in our Hammer Elite show Fat and Fatter. The number one ranked energy drink is Gave Subs. Literally the cherry flavor is insane.

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Starting point is 00:45:58 or SUPS.G or click that link in the description below. Type in code Caleb. The number one YouTube membership won't stop growing. I'm talking about premium shows every day, Monday through Friday. Exclusive and uncensored financial audit episodes. Obviously your time 100%. Financial audit post shows. You were doing this behind his back.

Starting point is 00:46:21 But one of them, I've actually never seen this photo. Audit breakdown. Like we still don't film with people like that. Like, he's a next level. Our call-in show, Hammer It Out. Discipline, India, or budget. That's what I was saying. Fat and Fatter.

Starting point is 00:46:34 What is this? Brand. Brand. And now, two new shows. Behind the scenes. And Lindsay's checkup. Did you get married? I got married.

Starting point is 00:46:48 Smaller ceremony, but a big reception. Give me all the details. No other channel offers what Hammer Elite provides. Sign up with the link in the pin comment or description. below. Join Hammer Elite, the best membership on YouTube today. Like, did you see the trailer for good? Like, her, like, waving that thing around. Like, she literally, like, holds it like this. No, do you not care? Do you not give a... I guess I don't. Like... What are we talking? Why are we having a conversation? Why am I wasting

Starting point is 00:47:19 my time with you? Because I need to care. And I agree. I can't convince you to care if you don't. Okay. Can we just like take a second? Can I just boop you real quick so we can just like reset? No. Because this isn't a joke, dude. Listen, I don't know. You think you're fun.

Starting point is 00:47:38 You think you're silly. You think you're cute. Shut the fuck up. It's not. It's obnoxious. You're obnoxious life. You don't give a fuck about anything. And you hear that laugh.

Starting point is 00:47:49 His parents pay his rent. His parents pay his fucking rent. Well, he spends bullshit on wicked. Thousands on wicked. Disgusting. I'd be disgusted to be your parents I'd be disgusted to be your sister I'd be disgusted to be your lesbian friend

Starting point is 00:48:02 I'm disgusted to sit in front of you right now you're an excuse you're a horrible excuse for a man horrible excuse for a human It's hot when you say that to me See what the fuck am I doing What do I do with that? Dick

Starting point is 00:48:18 What do I do with that How can I have a productive conversation here possibly? Sorry, I'm deflecting I flirt when I'm nervous And you're making me nervous because you're right. Like, yeah, I don't care, but like, I want to. Like, I need to.

Starting point is 00:48:35 Okay, you want to, you need to. Why take money for your parents, spend thousands on Golinda, and then not make your payments on your cards? Tell me the why behind it. Why aren't you making the payments? How about, can we just start there? Why aren't you making your payments on time? Huh?

Starting point is 00:48:48 How about that? Because I don't want to. Because I can't. Like, there's just... Because you don't want to? Yeah. But you're spending thousands on Wicked. Correct.

Starting point is 00:48:56 I don't want to pay the predators. I don't want to pay the predators. I don't want to pay. pay money's not real Caleb I mean objectively it is it's on your paper it's how you got the wands what are you talking about we're not bartering like it's literally like it was made to control people

Starting point is 00:49:08 and like that's what it's doing consent's a construct and you broke it earlier okay doesn't mean we don't follow it and it's not real dick whatever okay it's a construct I think we can all agree on that does that not mean it doesn't dictate life and have an impact on life

Starting point is 00:49:28 then it shouldn't it doesn't matter should or would how does that benefit this conversation whatsoever. It doesn't. Like I said before, I hope things to be true. Like, I just kind of believe things. Has that worked? 26-year-old failure? No. It does not. No. So it doesn't matter. So give it up. Give up that

Starting point is 00:49:44 bullshit. Why are you latching on to the, it's a construct that shouldn't matter. That hasn't got you anywhere. That hasn't got you anywhere. So maybe we try something different. Like what? Oh my goodness. Like thinking that making your payments might actually have an impact. Might actually be

Starting point is 00:50:00 important. Okay. City double cash. We got $3,650. And $3. It takes 12 years to pay off minimumly payments only without any purchases. But you don't make

Starting point is 00:50:11 minimum payment payments. You were late. There it is. Fees and interest. No, I got that card to, like, put some of the Discover amount on it. And then I, like, racked up the Discover one again. I'm sorry.

Starting point is 00:50:21 You transferred from the Discover and then built up the Discover again. Again, this is why I don't like bankruptcy or consolidation or credit card transfers or personal ones to take care of debts. Until we change our behavior. Your behavior is out of control. you're out of control, you are insane. You...

Starting point is 00:50:36 I'm a wild gay. No, it's not cute. You think you're being cute and silly. You're not. That is not a cope to fall back on. It's not. You are an actual person on this earth. You get the choice to live a better life.

Starting point is 00:50:49 You are actively choosing not to. And then you're like, ha ha, ha, I'm a silly gay. Fick off of that bullshit. Off with that bullshit. All right. All right. All right. Why not make your minimum on this, please?

Starting point is 00:51:02 Because I felt like money could go towards other things like my gas or like my food or... But it went to Galinda. It went to wicked stuff. Yeah. It did. It did. The ship doesn't benefit you. It's nice.

Starting point is 00:51:16 It doesn't benefit. It doesn't have a long-term impact. I mean, it benefits me emotionally, like mentally. No, mentally. You remember when you said you were too stressed to look at your debt? Yeah. Mentally, not having a fully front and emergency phone for the next time your job was for a month, that would benefit you mentally. You know what?

Starting point is 00:51:31 You're right. about that. That would have been no shit. No shit. No shit, dude. Oh my God, Caleb. It's crazy.

Starting point is 00:51:39 It's like you're right. It's like you know what you're talking about. That's crazy. That's wild. I don't know. You're making me have less hope than I normally feel in conversations. I mean, you've only missed your payments for three months.

Starting point is 00:51:58 So you were doing, so at least you made payments on time this year. Why haven't you? Because you weren't doing it. Because I lost the job. Okay, how much were you making in that job? I told you, I was working like 50 hours a week. I don't give a fucking making.

Starting point is 00:52:12 Like, I took, okay, I worked it from like November of last year to like, why can you not tell me a number, dude? What is wrong with you? No, Caleb, I told you, I don't look at that shit. Like, I don't look at it. But your complaint is now you're not making enough. How can you even say that if you didn't know what you're making? Because I wasn't making enough.

Starting point is 00:52:31 Like, I, like, I just, there was no money coming in. I don't know how to put it. when I was in this sales job from like November to like... No, now you're not making your payment. Now. Correct. You have this year. Now you're not.

Starting point is 00:52:44 Correct. So what is going on now? Because I just, it goes to other things. Like my rent and like my car payment, like my actual bills that I like really need to pay. Like... Which is why we had $800 of miscellaneous bullshit last month. Yeah. That's...

Starting point is 00:53:00 Yeah. Great. This doesn't make sense. Dude, you're... What a culp. What a fucking lie. What a sad excuse of an existence. It's very sad.

Starting point is 00:53:12 Yeah. But you don't give a... Or your shell is just such an immense cope shell that it's like... Yeah. Listen, gays are traumatized. No, stop with this. I know you said you're not a mental health person, but like... Not a mental health person.

Starting point is 00:53:26 What do you mean? Well, like that you're not like a therapist. Well, no shit. Obviously. And like people come on here, right. Doesn't mean I don't support mental health. Well, I know. I know.

Starting point is 00:53:33 Daddy, chill. What the hell is even that? Like, you just take it. you hear what I'm saying and then you just like run with it and like take it to like the fucking extreme. Like, yeah, I got scam three times. Yeah, I spent $800 on fucking wicked stuff. But like.

Starting point is 00:53:49 Thousands on wicked by the way. Shut the fuck up. I'm a person too. A hundred of miscellaneous. Barely, listen. Barely, I know. Listen. What were you saying?

Starting point is 00:53:58 Every gay has trauma? No. Shut the fuck up. This is not the world we live in anymore. Shut up. I'm sure some do. Some come from shitty families. Some, I'm like a bully in school.

Starting point is 00:54:10 I don't know. Come on, you can't just fall back on that. You can't. The nerd gets bullied. The les gets bullied. You know, it's whatever. They're not going to fall back on it for the rest of their life. This is just so stupid.

Starting point is 00:54:27 I mean, you have finance purchases. I also. Yeah, balance transfer is 2,207 of it, but 1,384 was spending on bullshit as well. Well, I told you I moved in with my sisters. Malse transfer interest-free period ends in just a couple of months, and then you're... This is not deferred interest, but you are going to be very soon. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:54:45 Just not in real life because you can't get laid. Like in a bad way. Oh. Go to the gym. Will you be there, though? Hmm? Will you be there? Huh?

Starting point is 00:54:55 You go to the gym... Dude, you're fucking... Something's wrong with you. A lot. If you couldn't tell. Quick silver. Oh. Yep.

Starting point is 00:55:07 Not making payments. you're a failure I can't wait to talk to your to my lesbian friend here yeah in the post show about how her friend is an actual failure maybe she can hold your feet to the fire she has like she

Starting point is 00:55:21 she does she keeps yeah it's working so well right it doesn't work because I don't follow along but like she does like keep on me when she like can but quicks over $3,219 dollars and

Starting point is 00:55:38 $79 cents minimum payment, 312, because we're behind. I'm going to say 150. I don't know. It's normal. Sounds about right. Late fees, interest, 17 years to pay off. 17 years. Well, that's if you actually make your minimum. You don't. So, no, much longer, actually, I would say. Who knows if I'll even be around that long? The world is dying, Caleb. Are you terminal? I don't know. The world is dying? The world is dying, Caleb. Global warming. I miss that news. Well, I don't think people say the world's not going to exist.

Starting point is 00:56:12 It's not what they say. Yeah, a lot of people say that. I don't think anyone says that. In Omaha, they do. In the middle of the country, away from the coast. Yeah, we're landlocked, yeah. A lot of Jesus freaks up there.

Starting point is 00:56:29 Uh-huh. So what was this card used for? You racked up an insane amount of money that, of course, now you're not paying. Oh, good. Drake, Taylor Swift, Concerts, Pitbull. Yeah, I saw Taylor in concert on the Arestore.

Starting point is 00:56:42 obviously had to go do that. Yeah, I love to train my life for a billionaire. Yeah. She's gotten, yeah. You're not a Swifty. It's fine. I mean, I don't care. I'm not anti-Swift or Pro Spitz.

Starting point is 00:56:53 I did see the other lady. I just watched the video of the other than the lawn. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care that you've gone to Taylor Swift when you couldn't afford it and you fucked yourself. This is Taylor Swift right here, actually. This is a bracelet.

Starting point is 00:57:06 Yes, you've helped contribute to her billions because you're easy to milk. I got it. Very easy to milk. You want to find out. I'm able to ban these jokes Like what is happening That's okay And then you're going to Colorado soon

Starting point is 00:57:20 And you've already paid for half the trip But I don't know Yeah it's like a ski trip You're over maxed out by hundreds of dollars You're not making your payments You're going on a ski trip What kind of privilege Disgusting creature are you

Starting point is 00:57:32 Who thinks you deserve that Who thinks you're entitled to that If you go back to Omaha Dig a hole and die That's the nicest thing you've said to me all day This is just you're you're contributing nothing, you're taking everything, and then you're going to ask for a handout and cry for sympathy in your future.

Starting point is 00:57:50 Fuck you. Taking money from your parents, fuck you. Making your sister's stress, fuck you. What is wrong with you? Colorado, who are you to go skiing? What a disgusting animal? I'm actually not going to ski. I'm just going to go, like, have fun.

Starting point is 00:58:03 What does that mean? What does that look like? Like, I'll just hang out with my friends. Like, it's a big friend group that's going and they're going to go skiing. Are they from Omaha? Yeah. Oh, fuck. So that makes it harder for you to leave.

Starting point is 00:58:12 Yeah? There's no way. Omaha doesn't have a halfway decent. They have opportunities there. It's not like a major tech hub or anything crazy, but it's like they have opportunities. And the largest city in Nebraska, I'm assuming. I'm not very...

Starting point is 00:58:28 Do you have a degree? I do have a degree. What's your degree in? Psychology. Why? Well, like every other person that goes into psychology, I wanted to find out what the fuck was wrong with me and why I was the way I was.

Starting point is 00:58:44 Well, you're gay. No one cares anymore. Well, it was more than just like the gay stuff. It was more like, sure. Let's go with that. I mean, just like the simplicity of like... Yeah, it's your behavior, big guy. It is my behavior.

Starting point is 00:59:01 Your full behavior. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to fucking hear it. What's wrong with me? It's your behavior. It's your choices. It's your actions you're taking by choice.

Starting point is 00:59:11 The fucking Galinda wand will take your parents' money. It's disgusting. It's immaturity. It's you. A horrendous individual. Okay, well, I'll get you an actual certification in a career field that has benefits in course careers. You choose which one you want. A lot of people out there have used it to get raises or get new jobs.

Starting point is 00:59:31 Really? So I'll gift you one. Really? Yes. Sweet. Thank you. You should use the FISC card if you're going to use a credit card going forward. A what?

Starting point is 00:59:42 It's a debit card that builds credit. his card, debit card that builds credit. Doesn't let you spend more than what's in your checking account because obviously you cannot manage credit cards with shit. You're not a credit card person. Fuck off die. What? This is correct.

Starting point is 00:59:55 And I was just going to say I can't, like I have a really bad credit score, as you could probably assume. What is it? So if I, like, I sent a thing, I think, to the producers of like. Then I will see it. Okay. I think I said. Then I will see it.

Starting point is 01:00:09 Okay. Shut the fuck up. Oh my God. Oh, like four miss payments this year. so far, which again, means you were making payments to some point. I don't understand where the transition happened to not making payments. I decided one day I'm not going to pay them. Care credit, what's happening?

Starting point is 01:00:23 My cat had a bladder obstruction in April. You have a cat? Yeah. Pew, you can't afford a cat. What a selfish person. I got the cat with my ex-boyfriend who I told you about that I moved in with. And he didn't pay for anything on it at all, by the way. Let me see a picture of your ex.

Starting point is 01:00:37 Oh, okay. Yeah. If I haven't deleted all of them yet. Okay. minimum is $71. You owe $2,169. It's at its max. No surprise.

Starting point is 01:00:49 And we're passed due to two payments. We now owe three. 13 years to pay off minimum monthly payment. Social media exists, you dumb tit. We like putting pictures of everyone's X on screen because you know how well they can pull. Let's find out. This is insanity.

Starting point is 01:01:05 We literally were four cards in here and are passed on everything. You're not doing shit. All well, milking other people and spending money on just bull. Walshit, that doesn't matter. Regrettably, you're right. Huh? You're right. On?

Starting point is 01:01:19 Everything you just said. Then why aren't you doing anything? Because I just, like, gave up. Like, I just feel like there's no fucking hope. Oh, no, I probably deleted all these photos. Just, fucking Instagram. Are you stupid? I don't follow him anymore.

Starting point is 01:01:36 You can look people up if you don't follow them. You are... What is wrong with you? I swear, sometimes... Whoa, I know we get the bottom of the barrel on this. All right. All right. Let me go.

Starting point is 01:01:45 Jesus Christ. If you're capable of using Instagram, come on the show, Calebgrammer.com slash apply. I'd be happy to take a look at your ex so I can see what you're able to pull. My goodness, it's usually a fun little detour in the middle of a bitter conversation of insanity.

Starting point is 01:01:58 That was the first one. That's Doug. Looks very similar to Brandon. Stop, stop, stop. To Brandon. And you like the Brandon. I do like the Brandon. Hey, Brandon.

Starting point is 01:02:13 He just nodded at me. He sticks it in a hole. He's stuck sitting in a new hole every night. You might be able to play some convincing games. No. A fatter, Brandon. Fast, no. Well, actually, the dude's not like, yeah, definitely got the thickness, but it's really in the cheeks more than anything.

Starting point is 01:02:34 Brandon. Why are you being homophobic over there? Why are you saying? It's homophobic not to fuck this man. I'll wear whatever you want, Brandon. You'll wear whatever you want, Brandon. Or nothing at all, if that's what you want. sexually assault Brandon next.

Starting point is 01:02:53 So yeah, that's my... Instead of me. Which, I have more tea on that for later. No, thanks. No, you're going to want to hear it. I don't give a... Your lesson involves finances. I don't give a...

Starting point is 01:03:05 Oh. You just say that. It's a promotional balance. Deferred interest... Deferred interest in just a couple of months. Oh, you're so done. My cat, yeah, so my cat had a bladder obstruction, so he had to go to the ER.

Starting point is 01:03:16 Yeah, you already told me that. Are you... Yeah, but I didn't tell you, like, how much it was. and shit. Well, I have the balance. All I know is you are having deferred interest that is accruing hundreds of dollars and it's all about to hit in a couple months. What is deferred interest? Is that like later?

Starting point is 01:03:35 Like it comes down later? Nobody ever told me this stuff, mind you. They probably did. No one ever tells anyone. No one ever tells anyone. It's on you to learn. It is on me. Okay.

Starting point is 01:03:45 I need to stop. Here's the thing. Your minimum fee payment is $71. You're not even paying that. So that's issue number one. Issue number two, you need to make. $425 to pay this off before the deferred interest period ends. Let's explain it.

Starting point is 01:03:57 There is interest free. This in five months, if this was interest free, you're not paying interest on it right now. It's not accruing. It starts accruing interest on whatever the balance is once the interest free period ends. Deferred interest means it is accruing interest. Okay.

Starting point is 01:04:13 Behind the scenes, and all of that immediately gets added to the balance if you do not pay it off completely by the time that date ends. It's kind of messed up. It accrues interest and then it'll attach. But if you pay it off before the deferred interest period ends, you don't have to pay interest. Balance, balance.

Starting point is 01:04:33 The interest isn't accruing to the balance. Don't throw your calculator at me. I didn't. I put it down. Are you sensitive little bitch? Listen, the thing is that is not being added to the balance right now. It gets added to the balance if you do not pay off the balance by the time that ends and that is five months from now.

Starting point is 01:04:49 Yeah. That is. Do you understand? You asked the question. I explained it. Do you understand? I'm not getting much from you. That I need to pay the balance.

Starting point is 01:05:02 No, how deferred interest works. It accrues over time, and then it will attach itself to it if you don't pay off the balance. Yeah, by the date, the end of the promotional pay. Okay. You get it?

Starting point is 01:05:14 Yeah, I think so. Okay, it happens beginning of April. Great. Yeah, you got to make a payment of $4.25 a month. or else you're hundreds of dollars consider to do your debt. We'll work on it. That's why I'm here.

Starting point is 01:05:26 We'll be above the balance like crazy. We'll work on it. Dude, you're not paying. You're late. Again, you're endlessly late. We're four cards in. You haven't paid a fucking bill. You're a mess.

Starting point is 01:05:37 You're a joke. You're a disaster. You're an embarrassment. You're a failure. I'd be ashamed to be associated with you. What? And unfortunately, now I am. N-FM.

Starting point is 01:05:49 What is that? No fucking money. Just kidding. Nebraska Furniture Mart. It's like a... So you had to get brand new furniture. You had to get

Starting point is 01:06:00 brand new furniture to move it to a place you can't afford. Actually, there's no furniture on this card. It's my laptop and AirPods.

Starting point is 01:06:08 What do you need a laptop for? Bill Runner? You need a $4,000 limit. The laptop I had was when I'd use all throughout college

Starting point is 01:06:16 so it was like super slow. What is your laptop? It was super heavy. What laptop did you have? Oh, it's like a... Wait, before? Did!

Starting point is 01:06:22 Yes, did. What do you think the word did means you f*** it was a 2013 MacBook pro okay that's definitely aging and until based not great i get it like wouldn't even get like system updates anymore yep yep yep yep yep yep so i'd want to get a new computer too depends on what you get what do you need what did you get what did you get you you're gonna be so mad i will what is it it's like a it's like a twenty 24 like macbook air oh okay well okay actually no i'm not freaking out it was like $1,500 okay well you probably you got it more upgraded than you needed for what

Starting point is 01:06:52 you needed to do, absolutely. I would have got more towards about $1,100 bucks. But at least you didn't go MacBook Pro because someone like you does not need one, and that is all I'm saying. Correct. So I'm glad you at least got the air, but for sake, you upgraded it more. I'm finally glad about something I did. Oh my God. You still spent hundreds more than you should have, though.

Starting point is 01:07:08 All right, all right. And I'm being told the lesbian was so mad. Matter what? Get in the laptop? Why is she even friends with you? If she's... Honestly, I have no idea. If she hates the way you live your life, why is she accepting this? I don't know. Lesbians. I don't understand them. you.

Starting point is 01:07:24 I'm hoping to convince her, but no, I don't know if I understand her. That's my friend we're talking about. So like, Lenny and you to like just. I would stick it in. She wouldn't like that. No, but I would. Oh, with consent. Oh, hold on.

Starting point is 01:07:38 Right. Hold on to be very close. What do we just talk about? Come on, leg toucher. Shut the fuck up. Who just came in here to talk about consent? HR. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:07:47 I said with consent, you creature, you beast. You're the one rubbing people. Weirdo? You liked it, though. No, and I love rubbing people. I'm very much into... Okay, come on. But, again, with consent.

Starting point is 01:08:01 Again, I don't know why she's friends with me. She's too good for me. I don't deserve her. I agree. I really don't deserve her. It's a win-win. You get money and I get money. These are called affiliates,

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Starting point is 01:09:58 You're horrible. You're a mooture. I... You're a disgusting parasite on this planet. I am a parasite. I am a parisone. So, and you said AirPods as well. Of course, can't get a fucking MacBook without getting some AirPods. Seven years to pay this one off, $54 minimum fee payment.

Starting point is 01:10:14 Of course, fees and of course interest. This one I kind of pay off when I can. Like, you know. Why selective this one? Because yes, you made a little bit of the payment. minimumty payment. Why selective this one? When it's a lower interest rate than all the other ones. Why? Because it's 18%.

Starting point is 01:10:27 Is it great? No, it's, but it's not in the 30s like the others. So why this one? What is your logic? I guess I don't have logic. It's the... No, tell me why you're choosing that. It was... Because if I pay it off within the year, it will... Oh no. Oh, no. No, why? I'm

Starting point is 01:10:43 trying to listen. I'm sorry. You're just like... We're over there, like, reacting. Yeah, I'm trying to listen to your... To my... Explanation? Okay. what was I talking about? Why you're choosing that card to put the amount to pay me to? Because when I bought the laptop,

Starting point is 01:10:57 it was like, it's like 24, it was like a 12 months interest free if you pay it off in time. But clearly I have not gotten close to paying it off. So, she's just chilling there. What? I just, you're,

Starting point is 01:11:16 just the way you live of your life is a mess. What is, what I'm looking at? You're in a debt program. Well, that says debt risk. You got into a debt program when you're building all your debt back up again, you fucking moron, what is wrong with you? I like debt relief programs,

Starting point is 01:11:29 but only after you change your behavior, you moron! Well, as you saw, the minimum payments were quite a lot. Is that for all these things? It's maybe. Oh, every debt we talked about is now in a debt relief program?

Starting point is 01:11:43 Um, no. Huh? What is going on? There... Yeah, I'm being told no. So this is past, Are you able to just say words? Do you know what's happening?

Starting point is 01:11:56 I just don't even know myself like what it is. Like I put in some cards. So it's like paying off a balance and then I like brought the balance like right back up basically is what happened. $128 and 72 cents on a monthly basis. Are you at least paying that shit? Yeah. Okay, you owe $14,074. And this goes from Yeah, a capital one we don't have. A different card, a synchrony card we don't have. Yeah, this is... What is wrong with you?

Starting point is 01:12:34 It's a 48-month plan. Bees annual basis 6.25. It's better than 30% interest rates that were probably associated with it, of course. But it doesn't matter because you wrecked up all your debts again. So it doesn't matter. You've just ruined yourself again. You didn't use this as a tool. You f*** it.

Starting point is 01:12:50 F*** it. Why? What was the point without changing what you actually did? There wasn't a point, I guess. You were just rushing for a solution. I was. Just like your... This isn't a scam necessarily.

Starting point is 01:13:05 You just scammed yourself, just kind of like the other things. The other things were actually scammed, but you were stupid and you fell into them. This isn't a scam, but you scammed yourself because you went into it, you built up debt again. Now you've doubled the debt and you're... Yeah. I'm... What do I do? with that. What do I do with that? Because I'm not convinced you give a shit. Because you're still

Starting point is 01:13:30 spending money on bullshit today. This Galinda dumbassery and a Wicked's about to come out part two and you're really going to go overboard. Like, I don't know what to do. Your income sucks. Your income sucks. Like, sucks big time. Yeah. It's, it's all right. No. No, it is not. My other job that I had this summer was $17 an hour, so that was like, shit. Hey, you didn't even get the job yourself. The lesbian got you this job because you weren't working. You can't produce anything. You're not a provider.

Starting point is 01:14:01 You're a leech. You're nothing. Yeah. I rely on others a lot. I'm very codependent. I guess you could say. And how do you feel about that? Because I would be embarrassed and want to change my life.

Starting point is 01:14:15 I mean, it is embarrassing. But like. But you're not willing to do anything. So you're embarrassed, but you just live in it? I wasn't willing to do anything, but, like, I now realize that, like, I need to. Yeah, median hourly wage in the Omaha metro area is $30 an hour. You're two-thirds. You're not doing well.

Starting point is 01:14:37 You're not doing well at all. That translates to $62,900 a year. Yeah. And you have a degree. Like, it's insane. Tell me something I don't know. I don't, well, I don't know what you know and don't know, because you honestly are pretty stupid.

Starting point is 01:14:53 Is that all your debt? Well, in my car. I have like $13,000 on my car still. Dude. Oh, my gosh. Okay, let's see this car. It's this, yeah. Oh, this is it.

Starting point is 01:15:07 I thought this is the consolidation because it's the same balance, basically. So I thought, oh, how far do you have? What car do you have? It's a 2018 Subaru Forrester. It is a self-sableness. title. I am full as, yeah. And I wrecked it twice.

Starting point is 01:15:30 Well, I only wrecked it once and I got into a fender bender myself. What is wrong with you? I'm gay. No, you can't fall back on that for everything. You can't. I was looking at the sunset and I was not looking ahead of me and I hit a median. $14,000.25.46. And I like f***ed up my front end. Like my wheel popped. Like my bumper came off. Like it was bad. Like it was very bad.

Starting point is 01:15:52 Why are you getting car crashes? Like, it happened. I told you, I was looking at the sunset, trying to take a picture. $345.11. Yeah, that's every month. Well, no shit. Yeah, your minimum fee payment. No shit. Dude, yeah, yeah, it is.

Starting point is 01:16:05 What's the interest rate? I think, like, 7%. Colton's also saying that's the gays excuse for a car crash he's ever heard. What, the sunset? Yes. I mean, that's what happened. I was in awe. Nebraska has the best sunsets.

Starting point is 01:16:20 That's why. Yeah. That's what. Everyone knows and considers, guys, go to Nebraska for the best sunsets in the country. Agreed. Yep, I'm sure it's better than Florida and the Texas Rolling Hills or the Blue Ridge Mountains or the coast of California, beaches of Hawaii. Well, I can't really speak on those because I've never seen those.

Starting point is 01:16:51 Okay, great. So we can say this is the best. Yeah. What do you think this car is worth? Like 10 grand. we have it? Why don't you give us the vent, asshole? I have it. I guess I did not. I'm sorry. You can't send statements, can't send vins. Who the fuck? Who knows? I'm sure you have a dramatically negative equity position in this car. And the interest rate? Seven percent. Okay. It's on the tearing

Starting point is 01:17:19 edge of horrendous or not horrendous, but it ain't good. It's fine. I don't care. Do you need the viz? No, I know. It's done. It's done. It's done. We're moving into the check. account. That's all your debt. No student loans? No student loans. Good. How'd you do that? I paid for school like out of pocket up front and my parents helped me and I let that home. There's the real answer. Ah, there's the real answer too. They wanted me to get the college

Starting point is 01:17:44 degree. So I did and then it still didn't get me a good enough job and I'm probably blaming the degree on that as well and not myself for like applying myself as hard. Well the degree is great in this job market we have right now but you are correct. because you can build up a little experience after the degree and still pursue good career paths. You're 26 now. You're not 22 anymore.

Starting point is 01:18:07 Okay, 265 in this checking account, so I don't know why you can't make minimum payments, but okay. Apple Bill, Prime Video, getting some bullshit, what are you stopping in and getting $2.49, huh? Where? I don't know.

Starting point is 01:18:20 Well, this one's 365 market. Was that Whole Foods? I don't remember. But you stopped in and you got something for a couple bucks. So what's that? That ain't groceries. That ain't groceries. What do you get in?

Starting point is 01:18:30 What do you stop in and get some bullshit? What is it? What is it? When you stop in and get some bullshit, what is it? Like a coffee or like Coke or like food or like. What a joke. Like, buddy, first of all, make your coffee at home. I do.

Starting point is 01:18:44 It's cheaper. Well, you better. And now make your energy drinks at home too instead of getting your Coke stuff. They have a cola version. They have all the flavors. It's really good. It's gamer subs. 25 cents.

Starting point is 01:18:57 10% off link in the description below or get your free samples with code Caleb energy drinks at home, coffee to home, no more going in against some bullshit. And it tastes better too. So what the fuck are we doing? This is so stupid. AMC.

Starting point is 01:19:10 AMC. Apple bill. Apple bill. I'm okay with Google One. Vandingo, Prime Video. Went in and got some bullshit. Make your energy drink at home. Make your pop at home.

Starting point is 01:19:21 Apple bill. Going in and some BS. Apple Bill. Xbox. New from March? I don't know what that is. Council Blufford? Council Bluffs.

Starting point is 01:19:34 Council Bluffs is the Iowa town. It's like on the border. What are you giving them for? I don't fucking money. I probably. Oh, wait. Is it $100? Yes.

Starting point is 01:19:45 Okay. I got like a ticket from Council Bluffs. Park. They have like traffic cameras. Oh, they make heavy a home. No, you don't. I do make coffee at home. Mecca.

Starting point is 01:19:53 If you go to Mecca, they will literally throw you off a building. Where's Mecca? Cash app. McDonald's going in and getting into bullshit, getting into BS, vapor, maven, yeah, of course. What a fuck? What's wrong with you people? I really don't understand.

Starting point is 01:20:10 Coles, Burger King, you're all the same. Coles, Burger King, Pandango again, Revival House, you're spending so much on bullshit. Going in and getting to BS, venturing out money. Probably paying to get railed. Venet out money. Stop it in and getting some BS, Prime Video. McDonald's, pull up your phone, Dick.

Starting point is 01:20:27 Pull up your phone, Dick. Dan, pull up your phone What do you want to see? 65 cents in servings I will select what I want to see. All right. 65 cents, I'm not going through your photos. Trust me, I'm not an idiot.

Starting point is 01:20:38 There's a hidden album if you want to go see those. Well, that's obviously what I just said. I don't want. You know, there is actually a weird double standard here. There really is. There really is. I obviously do not give a f*** that he touched my leg. I don't, well, like, who cares?

Starting point is 01:20:51 And I don't give him that he's making those jokes. But if I did any of this to a woman, my career would be due. destroyed, destroyed. And people aren't going to give a fuck about this. And I get, I don't either because I'm an adult. Like, who gives a shit? But.

Starting point is 01:21:08 It's a bad double standard. It's insane. Doesn't mean you should do it, though. I'd probably practice not being a weirdo. Okay, in the car on Amazon is a desk and chair. You don't need it. Shut the fuck up. You do not need a desk and chair, asshole.

Starting point is 01:21:24 To work from home. There's the Glinda wand. There's a. I'm sure you're able, you're doing it now already. What am I doing? Working from home. No, I'm not. I'm still working in the office.

Starting point is 01:21:34 I live on your lap. What do you think a laptop is? You know what a laptop is? They gave me a laptop. There you go. And I got a monitor, but like I don't have a... I don't get it. I don't give a fuck about that.

Starting point is 01:21:42 Nope, don't need it. Put it on your kitchen counter, kitchen table, anything like that. Come on, that's what everyone does. Shut the fuck up. Keyboard mouse, coffee machine brewing basket bullshit and the Glinda Wanda of Moronic and dumbassery of stupid.

Starting point is 01:21:54 This is so stupid. In the subscriptions, Apple caramel okay with that. Apple music, you can have one of the music things, and then ICloud isn't the worst. We did have Apple one, MyOQ, Apple TV, Apple Arcade, Amazon Photos. What? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:22:10 And Flitch, self-care pet. Finch, do you know what Finch is? Nope. It's a self-care pet. It's really cool. I just said it was self-care pet, but that did not expect. You are an actual beast. Okay.

Starting point is 01:22:25 Did you put your number in there? I would be canceled. I would be so canceled if I was doing this to a woman. I would be destroyed. Our culture is so backwards. Because you shouldn't be canceled for this. You can be made fun of for this.

Starting point is 01:22:43 I'm going to be made fun of for this. Good. You deserve it. But also... Today we helped a... Latte for Sam. Coffee shop, get an insurance quote, simply and easily. And made sure...

Starting point is 01:22:54 A floral delivery van was a... able to make someone's day. We're the Hartford, with decades of experience insuring millions of unique small businesses. When it comes to your small business insurance, thank you. One size, absolutely does not fit all. Get a quote

Starting point is 01:23:13 or find an agent today at the hartford.com slash small business. We should also be able to tell them to shut the fuck at the same time. There is a middle ground here, guys, there is a middle ground. 97 cents in savings here. A joke. 170 or any balance, 223 in retirement.

Starting point is 01:23:29 What a fucking joke, an embarrassment. A sad excuse of a human. Okay, your income is $2,400. Let's get these debt, minimumity payments. See if you're actually a... Adult. $345.11 for the car. The Beyond repayment service, $128.

Starting point is 01:23:52 $72. N-F-N... N-F-M. Okay. $54 and we have to make $4.25 to the care credit so that it gets paid off

Starting point is 01:24:05 before deferred interest hits. Quicks over 150 probably once you catch up. City double cash probably 150 once you catch up and then Discover 150. That is debt minimum

Starting point is 01:24:16 monthly payment of $1,402 to $83. That's just for debt. Yes. Chunky for 25 so you pay off the credit

Starting point is 01:24:28 before the deferred interest. hits. So we honestly probably won't be able to do that and we got to absorb it. So we might have to take it down from $1,402. $1,402.83. Minus 425 and then to the normal $71 minimum of the payment. So or $1,04, $1,048.83. What's your portion of rent? Your portion of utilities, internet, gas, electric, all that good shit. I literally had a book written down with all of this shit for you. Dude, it doesn't have to be an exact number. Come on.

Starting point is 01:25:08 For utilities, 120. Okay. That's my half. Your phone bill. My parents pay for that. Okay, do helium if T-Mobile is good in your area. Once you are done, they use the same towers. Okay, I do have T-Mobile, so.

Starting point is 01:25:23 Well, there you go. That's a much cheaper version. Same service. Okay, transportation. V-Froom, Drive, Drive. gas, how much? Well, I do live closer to the... How much!

Starting point is 01:25:35 Sorry. It's $40 to fill up my tank. I'd probably fill it up twice a month now, so 80. Hard insurance. $2.35 a month. This is already getting beyond tight. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:25:51 $300 for food. Use the meal plan that comes with the budgeting class when you take it. Oh, someone's pulling up. Take the program and then... and do the meal plan. It's totally fine. It's based on H-E-B here,

Starting point is 01:26:08 but you're going to have something similar there, especially like a Walmart. TP Fun, anything else you need to survive, $100 so I can throw an extra 15 for prep if you need it. Ha-ha-ha. Medical health care. Oh, prep, like HIV prep? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:26:21 That was a funny gay joke. I mean, don't know. Doesn't, like, everyone take prep these days? Dude, if you're taking, if you're sling and cum on Grindr, take prep. Hearing you say slinging come is crazy. Really? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:26:34 I say degenerate shit every 30 seconds of my life. Yeah, but like... That's almost the most normal thing that came out of my mouth today so far. I know, but like, I'm across from you. And, like, I got, like, the full rage face and everything. And you're just, like, talking about slinging come and... Are you not taking prep? I was.

Starting point is 01:26:51 But no, I'm not. Now you're just not getting any. Correct. So you stopped taking it? I stopped taking it, by the way. I stopped taking it before. I stopped getting it. Why?

Starting point is 01:27:00 I want you to be able to... Because it was, like, it was one of those, like, self... like, where you had to, like, swab yourself. And every time I sent in the swabs, they were like, it was inconsistent. They needed, like, more of my swabbing. And I just, like, could not figure out how to do it myself. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

Starting point is 01:27:19 But, okay. Well, you wouldn't because you're not gay. And you haven't. People take prep as well, but I'm. Do you have to, like, swab all your orifices for that? When I do, uh, SDDS. You're not taking up the ass, are you? No, but I still take,

Starting point is 01:27:34 tests. You still have to like test that? Well, swab what? I don't know what you're swapping. They swab your mouth. They swab your asshole. They swab. I've never had an asshole swab, but I do a pee in the cup, blood test, and then something from my cheek as well. Yes. So STD, STI, of course, when we're

Starting point is 01:27:50 having some fun, yes. Absolutely. Got to be safe. Okay, how much for health care? How much? Dude, how much you spend on medical on a monthly basis? Co-pays or whatever? Therapy. I don't know. Well, since I just turned 26, I got kicked off my parents' insurance.

Starting point is 01:28:06 Good. Now I have the health insurance through my new job. Okay. Which is like an HSA plan. HSA is a health savings account. Yeah. What are you talking about? Okay, dude.

Starting point is 01:28:19 Okay, that gets taken out before your net pay. But I'm saying co-pays. Do you have an ongoing thing on a monthly basis that requires co-pays? How this, you're struggling with this question more than anyone ever on the show. Let's say like $130. Okay. $130. Geez.

Starting point is 01:28:33 Okay. I'm assuming that's like therapy and shit. Is there a gym? No. What? You got something to say about that? Yes, you're fat. Go to the gym.

Starting point is 01:28:43 Okay. I'm going to put in $30 for the gym. Do you not want to get healthier? I do. I do. There you go. I do. I'm sorry.

Starting point is 01:28:54 And again, the butcher-friendly cookbook and the meal plan. Do you have a little like workout thingy too? No, but you have the, what? It's not finance related. But the food part is. Subscriptions, I will try to. to do 30. Let's see if it works. Let's try to do 40. Okay, pet food, how much? It's just one cat, right? It's one cat. How much for pet food? $40 is a bad. Okay. What's the age and health of the cat?

Starting point is 01:29:18 He is four years old. Okay, pet insurance, 50 bucks, because obviously you can't afford shit when shit happens. Anything else that needs to be in your budget that I need to take an account before. This is done. Um, like the debt to the, to my old bank. Because I think that went to collections. that $5,000 from the sugar daddy scam thing. Is there a monthly payment on that? No. How does the payment work back? What have you talked to them about?

Starting point is 01:29:44 I'm not paying it. I paid a little bit of it. Like I would go in because they closed my account with them. So I would have to go into the branch and be like, hey, here's $100 towards my closed account that got closed by you guys. And then I stopped doing that because I decided I did it. Okay. Well, we're not really freaking out about collections right now.

Starting point is 01:30:03 It's not great, but obviously it's holding you back your credit. Okay, you're underwater on a minimum monthly basis by $453.83. And that's what's making your required minimumity payments, not the minimumity payment that would be needed to pay off the... I mean, it's clear that obviously you need to fix your behavior is number one, or else there's no point to anything even if you make more money. But number two, it's time to actually look into getting into a career, a career that you like, a career that is dignified,

Starting point is 01:30:32 A career that you can see a long trajectory on, something you can move up the ladder and bring in money. Right now you don't make shit. You need to make money. Right now you're going to go get a second job to be able to at least break even and hopefully start bringing down the debts after you change your behavior while you're looking for a more full-time career position. That's what you're doing. Maybe you take a certification to course careers is something you desire, an actual career field that isn't psychology. Psychology is a career field. Not much you can do with just a bachelor degree as far as I know, though.

Starting point is 01:31:03 You might have to go back. But either way, I don't want you to go back. And certainly, I don't want you being the person talking to people that need help. I mean, come on. Okay. You're not wrong. No, I agree. No, I'm not.

Starting point is 01:31:16 So you're going to go make more money right now with a second job. You're going to bring in an extra $4.53. I'd bring in an extra $750. You're going to work your ass off. You're working 60, 70, 80 hours a week. you're grinding to pay off this debt. And then maybe besides the Subaru and the debt consolidation, maybe you'll be able to pay off the debt in a couple years,

Starting point is 01:31:40 but get into an actual career field do you like and then change your behavior while you're going through that process and start buckling down, paying down the debt, build up an emergency fund, and then you need to catch up on retirement too because that's going to be heavily delayed going into your 30s and 40s if you continue down this path. But again, all this is broad, easier said than done.

Starting point is 01:31:58 None of it matters if you don't change your behavior. So follow the budget we made. Go work a second job right now. and take some career assessments and take... You need to get a better job. There's lots of things that are easier said than done that need to be done right now, but those are the things you have to do.

Starting point is 01:32:13 Have to do. Join us in the Post Show. We're going to bring in the lesbian and we're going to talk about some more things. I guess there's always extra shit. That's crazy that I find out. It's wild. Let's get the hammer financial score first.

Starting point is 01:32:24 Spending in the budget, you overspent, 0.10. Debt, you have collections, 0.10. Emergency fund. There was nothing in savings. Zero 10, retirement. I'm not even considering that anything zero out of ten. Real estate, you have nothing zero to ten. Actually, retirement is a one out of ten.

Starting point is 01:32:38 One out of ten, because at least is there. Hammer Financial score. 0.5 out of 10. Get yours to Calebhammer.com. Now click that join button, join Hammer Elite. For extra 20 minutes of this episode and every other episode with the Financial Auto Post Show and three premium shows posted every single day, Monday through Friday. I'll see you guys there.

Starting point is 01:32:54 Why are you friends with him? He's a mess. He is a mess. I kind of can't get rid of him. What has it been like being his friend? watching him, like circling the drain. Seeing all the decisions he's made in life, uh, I try to steer him in the right direction,

Starting point is 01:33:08 but he just won't go in that direction. Hammer Elite is the best YouTube membership on the platform, and I just upgraded it. New dedicated premium shows every single day, Monday through Friday. Join with the link in the pinned comment or description below. This is the best membership you'll ever join, and that's a promise.

Starting point is 01:33:29 Ambition comes in all shapes and sizes. At First Citizens Bank, We roll with your goals because we're built for what you're building. Fit for your ambition for Citizens Bank.

Financial Audit - He Assaulted Me | Financial Audit

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