Financial Audit - He Exploited Pr*stitutes, Now He's F*cked | Financial Audit

Episode Date: June 2, 2025

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I don't pay for nothing. They pay for me. In quote from you, Chase... When these women meet me, and they talk to me and they get to know me... The proffs. They love me. The proffes, right? You think Jeff Bezos, with his pretty wife, didn't have to pay her a little bit,

to be like, hey, come on a day with me while I get some... Download my budgeting app today and take control of your money once and for all. And for a limited time only, sign up for the annual version of premium and get my cookbook and notebook signed and mailed directly to you. Link in the description and pin comment below. Hi, I'm Rico Suave. I'm 23 years old and I live in Austin, Texas. This is a financial audit. Thanks for coming on, buddy. Thanks for coming in. I know you're pretty close to the studio. So what do you do here for living in Austin? We haven't had like local in a while. Yeah, that's true. You know, actually I work in real estate right now. It's kind of my thing.

Pretty much just making cold calls and taking names is what I do. Does that make money? Not really, to be honest. I mean, right now I'm just trying to get by. I mean, really, it's all about... Are you getting by? You know, that's a good question, Caleb. I mean, I think getting by just comes down to you if you can make the monthly rent payment.

Are you making the monthly rent payment? Most of the time. Most of the time I am, you know? I mean, there's a good of luck. probably really when you know I'm out of money that's when I'm not making rent payment I got that that's a given I'm asking like when

timeline are you typically not when I'm not I'm trying to think probably by the end of this month that's gonna be by the end of this month it's a checking time bomb that's a chopin block why the fuck are you doing this bullshit cold call real estate crap what are you trying to be an agent

I'm you know I'm I'm switching gears a little bit tell me what you're doing tell me what you're doing because we need to position yourself in a place where you can make money You pay your rent. What are you doing with your 40 hours allocated to work on a weekly basis? What are you doing? Yeah, what I'm doing? I'm trying to think.

I mean, staying by the pool quite often, you know, I think pondering my thoughts has been like... No, in your job, this cold calling bullshit. Oh, job-wise. I'm trying to think. Most of the time, I'm just kind of sitting there and they give me a huge list. Who? What is the job? Oh, the job?

Yes, what is the job? So it's... Oh my gosh, dude. That's start, my friend. It's not like technically like a real job by any means. Then why aren't you working a real job? Well, that's what you know what I'm going to look for. But you know what?

I actually have... What's the last time you've had a real job? Maybe a few weeks ago, a few weeks ago. Oh, okay. Yeah. What were you doing? I was a luxury short-term house manager. Okay, I don't know exactly what that entails, but what were you making?

I was making like $20 an hour? Yeah. Okay, not bad. Yeah. Like 40 hours a week? Yeah. Okay, you can pay rent probably maybe with that, depending on your rent situation.

Yeah. Okay. Okay. Why'd you leave? I know. I got fired actually. Yeah, yeah. Why?

Well, I got fired. So they have a company card which you use for the guests. Oh, dude. You know, if you want to get them like a little gift or something. But in my case, the gift was to me and it was chicken nuggets. What the fuck you doing? Your nuggets. He doesn't...

He doesn't... You tell me nuggets are the... You gotta have nuggets. I mean, telling you what? I can't go by without a little nuggies. Yeah, use your own money. I mean, that's what you do. That's what I do.

I use my own money for my nuggies. Did I tell you about the hack, though? There's a hack. There's one thing... Did I tell you about the hack? We've been talking for three minutes and no, you've not used the word hack. There's a good hack out there. It's called the DoorDash hack.

What you guys do? Does this the hack that got you fired? It might have. I mean, there's some... Doesn't sound like much of a hack. There's some leniency involved. I mean, what happened was... No, you got fired.

Doesn't sound very lenient. It depends how you look at it. So what happened, pretty much, you know, I was just hungry one day and, you know, company credit cards right there. You know, I opened up the DoorDash app and, you know, I just typed in my information, told them I want some raising canes, came run over,

and accidentally use the company card. Accidentally. Accidentally, yes. I like to use the word accidentally quite often. Was it accidentally? It definitely was. No, was it accidentally, if you like to use that word quite often? They accidentally forgot to include some sauces, which actually made the meal free, which was good.

So it ended up going back to the company, got my free, my free chicken. Something tells me you probably were in the job when they used this as the final straw, and how long are you in this job? I was there for about like five months, I think. Yeah. Yeah, five months. Five good months. Five solid months.

I don't think so. sure about that. I mean, I would love to show you my skills and actually bring it to your company, Caleb. And if I give me a chance, I won't use a company credit card for chicken. I wouldn't let you near a company credit card. Are you being serious or are you joking? I know, I'm being serious. I mean, I'm telling you, I got the great personality. I got the look. I know how to cook. Okay, you're handsome. I don't know what cooking would have to do with what we're doing. Think about it. I mean, you're like, I'm like, I'm like, the Jesse, you're like the,

the, this is what? Financial audit. I mean, I'm thinking about like a comparison, like the Batman and the Robin. I mean, you could be like, like, gay one? Yeah, yeah. Be such a good worker. I promise not to use the company credit card yet. But if you give me some time, put in some effort, you'll see, you'll, you'll, are you being

genuine? I'm being honest. I'm doing this, being honest as I can. I actually want a job. Yeah, of course. We have like 50 job openings right now. Really? You don't even know.

I mean, I looked. I saw one of them. Oh, buddy. I think you might. You know, I get that quite often. You know, I think confidence makes up for the fact that I'm a little slow, but it's okay. I don't know if I would want the slowest among us to be the most confident. Well, I'll tell you what.

What job do you want? I want to be the guy who just got fired for using the company credit card. Do you still? have that credit card? Did you give it back? Allegedly the company card is still on my iPhone still. Allegedly. In pursuit of buying more chicken potentially. Are you actually using it? I'm not using it currently. Have you used it since being fired?

Buddy, fuck off. If you fuck off, you're a piece of that. That's not funny. I'm telling you, man. You're not funny. They were supposed to reimburse me for gas. I mean, I'm just reimbursing the gas. in terms of food, you know? You kind of get what I'm saying. They told me you used it to buy... I did buy...

I did buy... I did do that. I did do that. It was good, though. What the fuck am I talking to right now? You're not even close to being considered for a job. I mean, think about it, though. I mean, mistakes are made.

Why would I hire you? If you're actually being serious, which you have a weird personality. I interacted with him in the lobby earlier. Yeah. This is him. Well, I'll tell you what. Let me tell you something important, Caleb.

Like, Jocko went, like, you know that Navy SEAL guy? He said one time that if he had to bring one person to war, he wouldn't bring the guy with a sharpish sword. He won't bring the guy with the smartest, the smartest head. He would bring the luckiest guy. And the luckiest guy tends to be the slowest guy, in my opinion. But you got fired a couple weeks ago. I'm telling you.

You got fired a couple of years. You got fired a couple weeks ago. That's not luck. You gotta be, it's all luck. It comes down to luck, maybe. Where's your luck? You got fired a couple weeks ago. I mean, I'm telling you, man.

That was there, that was on them. Yes, that was on them, but it's impacting your life. Where's your luck? What the fuck are you talking about? Why would I bring someone with a sharp sword anyway to a war where they might get new? No, I don't know. Why would I bring either of those? It doesn't really make any sense.

Yeah, I would prefer to bring the smartest one. I'm telling you, I'm telling you. The luckiest guy is the best guy. You have no luck. You just got fired, you dumb. I mean, think about how long I was there for. You even said yourself. Five months. That's not really good. Five months is great. Oh, boy. So what's your work history, dude?

All right. Well, we'll have to get into that. Okay, briefly then. I know. I actually have gone fires. Briefly. Oh. Are you proud of this? I'm not necessarily not proud of it. I mean, won't you consider it? I need to interject. Again, I interacted with this dude outside before we started filming. This is like a real human that exists on the streets of all. Boston, Texas. You know, it's funny you bring that up because I am actually a twin.

So, you know, people might confuse me. I'm the more handsome one, obviously, but that's okay. That's okay. If anyone cares, obviously, ladies. Anyways, you said you got 50 job openings. Which ones are we looking at for myself? I think I'd be a great sales guy. That would be you.

Okay, we have a sales one. I like sales. Sales is great. I'm a cold collar. I'm a great guy. I can approach anyone on the streets, not even speaking the language. It doesn't sound like you've closed many, though. I mean, you like calling the number.

Doesn't seem like you push them over the finish line. I mean, you could tell you, I worked in sales before. I actually did a little bit of cold call. I actually worked there for a week doing cold calling. But I tell you what, I was like a phone monkey, dude. I was pushing the buttons. I was taking names. I was getting deals done, man.

One week. Yeah, one week. But that one week was probably the greatest of my career. I'm not going to lie. Some people brag about 10 seconds. I brag about one week. So let that be said. Who's breaking about 10 seconds?

What the fuck? What are you talking about? I don't know anything about 10 seconds, Caleb. I'll tell you that. You know anything about 10 seconds? What are you talking about? And we could change the topic. It's fine.

Why are you here, man? You know, I know, I came here one for a job. Actually? Yeah, obviously. I mean, what else? I mean, this is the best financial YouTube channel. You think Dave Rams, you would take a guy like me? Hell no.

No, you think I would take a guy like you? Absolutely. We need a little personality. What the fuck if I presented myself online to suggest that I would even come close to interacting with you in a professional manner? I'm sure. Dude, I'm telling you, I consulted my magician on this. He said to me that if I come in with the swank, the dank, nothing but no stank, I'd come

and I get a job. I'm going to get the job, man. What is it? What do you mean? magician. It's like a palm reader essentially. Essentially someone that consults you and is telling you the future. He just said to be confident. Look good, be happy. Listen, I'm a college dropout, so it is not the indication of everything, but I have to ask your highest level of education. I did

high school, high school, and I did you complete it. Mostly, I got a pretty okay GPA. Did you graduate? I took three gym classes at the end of my Did you graduate? I did, yes. Do you think I didn't graduate? What the heck? I'm asking you. I mean, it was hard to get an answer, surprisingly. Oh, really? I did two community college courses, though. That was the highlight of my career

and became Spanish club president. The highlight of your career. You know what's funny? Is that I just realized this, that when I was Spanish club class president. I don't care. Shut the fuck. I actually really do not care. Shut up. I actually had a tonical party. I do not care. Shut up. I'm

being honest. Shut the fuck up. I don't give a fuck about your Spanish Club president. I mean, this is not an interview, isn't it? I mean, I want you to know my skills and where I come from, right? A Spanish club president won't even be considered remotely a skill. We got a couple. Shut the fuck up. Spanish-speaking people here.

Buddy, you have a lot of high-interest debt. Oh, some family debt. Oh, yeah. We're going to talk about your money. Okay. What's going on? Your income's a joke. I see your last payroll that hit.

So you're not getting paid for this job that you're in now? No, because I have to make a deal first. Yeah. What's a deal you have to make? I got to make someone. meet with the real estate agent and make them buy a house. Oh, wait, they have to buy the house? Yeah.

So it's not them just meeting with the real estate agent. Yeah, it's essentially me calling them and if they buy a house. You're an assistant. Essentially assistant. I mean, it's a good. Why are you doing this instead of going working to the McDee's, dude? Fri-D's. Who wants to work at McDee's, dude?

Nobody specifically, but do you want to be able to pay rent, don't you? I've been doing good so far. Have you not seen that? You just told me. I told you. I told you, luck is on my side. You just told me at the beginning of this conversation that you're not going to be able to pay rent at the end of the month

or beginning the next month. God will figure out a way, man. I'm telling you what? This brain is filled with ideas and hope. But even in the most religious perspectives, it is you putting in the effort to get there. Yeah, I mean, God takes care of it. I mean...

No, it is you putting in the effort to get there, even in that religion. Are you sure? I mean... Yes, it's like faith without actions. This fucking bullshit. I don't know about that. I'll tell you what, man. That's your own religion.

I could close my eyes and I get this done. I'll tell you what. Okay, tell me how you're getting it done. I'm going to find someone to get a house. And once they get the house, I'll get a house. No, no one's going to buy a house in a couple weeks. Are you sure? Yes.

There's people like that everywhere. Buddy. What about you? Actually, actually, are you looking for a house? No. Why not? Are you thought you were in investment properties? I am.

You are. Cool. The market's down right now in the stock market. So I'm investing in as much money. as possible. So let me ask you, if the market was not down in terms of price, is that what's stopping you? I'm not buying in Austin. I'm not buying in Austin. I'm not buying investment properties in Austin that doesn't cash flow in Austin. Hey, you know where's the good cash flow market is right now? San Antonio. It's the number one city people are moving to in 2025. That's where the money's at. So Caleb,

if you give me a couple minutes, I'd love to propose you. Oh, you're such an obnoxious. Oh, you're so property. Shut the up. You're not going to sell a house in a couple weeks. One, people want to look for a little bit. It's going to take minimum a month and that's if they move quick. Two, if they're taking out a loan for the house, then they've got to negotiate the purchase price

of the house. Let's call that a few weeks. Okay, cool. Because no one, if they're getting an investment, they want to go and get an actual good deal, which means they're probably going to lowball and they're going to have to fight to get to a reasonable number that they're going to accept. And then if they're taking out a loan, you got to take a... You said this place was steps from the water. We just haven't found

the steps yet. How much did we save? Enough. Enough to get lost. Or you could book a stay with Hilton. Welcome to your oceanfront room. Just steps from the water. The Hilton sale is on now. Book on Hilton.com or the Hilton app and save up to 20% to get the stay you expected. When you want savings, not surprises. It matters where you stay. Hilton for the stay. About another month to go through that entire process underwriting and then you're going to close the house. So you're looking at three months minimum. And that's moving kind of quick. So how are you paying rent again? I'm paying rent by using the company credit card for chicken.

And I exchange that chicken for dollars. And I go on the street, sell the chicken. You know, like those people walk down the streets. I've done a couple things I'm not too proud of, to be honest with you. I mean, I just get these ideas. What? I mean, I sell. That sounds more interesting than anything you've said so far.

I mean, these people are selling fruit in the street. What are you do that you're not so proud of? You don't want to know about that. I do. That's why I asked. You don't want to know that. I literally do. That sounds more interesting than any of the you've been on this conversation so far. Look, I'll tell you the networking opportunities in Austin are quite high.

But the problem is that you got to make something happen when it comes down to that. Tell me. You're saying all these broad words leading to nothing. I don't know how I'm going to bring this up. Just fucking say it, you actual obnoxious human. Oh, my fuck. Oh, I'm not going to make it to this. Okay.

Here's what I like to do. So, when you're showing up to the ball, you know, you got to look presentable. You can't show up solo, man. This ain't fucking high school. So what you got to do, you got to have a dime piece to say the least. So, you know, I just go to some of these expensive restaurants. And I invite some pretty girls to come with me. And I asked him just to show their face, look pretty, look nice, and let Daddy do the rest, you know.

And while I'm doing that, I'm just getting more numbers and increasing my networking opportunity and dating opportunity. It's kind of a good look at it. No, what are you talking about? Are you serious? Are you not heard about this before? Have you not like... Heard about what before? Going to the ball and like getting some networking done.

You know what I mean? No, the dime piece. The dime piece, yeah. Like girls, you know what I mean? Like, you know, just going out and getting some pretty dates and going in the... How are you getting the pretty dates? Well, I mean, I had tax return and... Huh?

But everything you say makes no sense. Honestly, it sounds to me like you're paying women. I'm not necessarily paying women, but I'm more taking them on fancy dates to help me networking. How are you meeting them? I'm meeting them through Tinder. I met one of them when I was at the club. some of them actually live in my apartment building. You're bribing me.

I mean, they told me you told them you're literally getting hooked. Hook? I don't know if I call them fuckers by any means. No, but you're literally paying women. They're telling me right now. That's okay. Huckers. Pross.

Is that, do you like props? Caleb? I've never had. Are you sure? I've never dabbled. Are you sure? Because you seem to know a lot about this. I'm just curious, you know?

Because this is the first I've heard. about a process. Telling me that you told them beforehand that you have paid women for sex and showing up to meets. Oh, showing up to meets. The only meets I go to, baby, is at the club, okay? No, no, the networking things. And for sex. I mean, this ain't like some sex party.

Hey, they're telling me you have told them that you pay women for intercourse. I don't pay for nothing. They pay for me. So you're backtracking now that you're on camera? I don't necessarily think the word applies the situation at hand here. Maybe you might know a little bit more about than I do.

Have you ever heard about taking out a girl at the ball? Have you ever done that before, Caleb? At the ball? The ball, you know what I'm talking about? The bell, the ball. The bell, the ball. You know what I'm talking about there, Caleb? I don't.

I've never gone to the ball. The bill of the ball. You know what I'm saying? You know what I mean. Look at Jeff Bezos? You think that guy, you think Jeff Bezos with his pretty wife, you think he didn't have to pay her a little bit? Be like, hey, come on and date with me while I get some contracts. No, I don't think so.

He's a billion-in-famous and well-known. I don't think he had to give money. I'm telling you. They might hope that they get money in the lifestyle, but you don't have money. No, no, no, I want to hammer this down. Hey, shut the fuck up. To be rich, I want to hammer this down. You're not even close to Rich.

You use a magician for your advice. You don't believe a man. Magic. Caleb? Oh, my God. I'll tell you, magic is in sales, baby. And if you hire me right now,

I promise you, I'll get every person in the seat. Here's the thing. We know that you have paid women and still do for intercourse. I wish. No, we know that because you've told us that. I mean.

And you're backtracking that on camera. And not only that, your weird rebuttal to it because you don't know what to say is that women pay you for sex, meaning that you just said you're a proff. I mean, if you think about it, I am a... If you think about it, you want to know why, Caleb?

You know why, Caleb? Because I exchanged my time for money, just like any prostit wood. You have no money. I have your bank accounts. I do have money. You do not have money. In the future, I do have money. That doesn't make any fucking sense.

It does. You actual moron. I like to bring the past, the present, in the future, and I like to bring them together. Just to get like an even spread of life. Okay. I'm just going to use the notes from the conversation you had with them because you're incapable of sticking on a like conversational path. They said that you moved to Texas into a factory.

Yes. And you quote said, I was expecting to do the job on day one. But you were grouped together with a bunch of trainees. And I don't know. Took a bunch of sick, sick days. immediately and then you got fired after a couple months or something. Yeah.

No, I don't like to use the word fired. You know, I don't like the word fired. Fire is a bad word. I never got fired, actually. You know, what happened? I did take some sick days because I needed a little excursion trip to Cabo, St. Lucas. I'm not sure if you've heard about this. You could use a vacation, Caleb.

I don't know what you're talking about? I mean, don't you have some sick days to build up? I mean, this is your company after all. I would have unlimited PTO if I was you. I mean, we could talk about this. that when we get hired when I get hired obviously. You would never, you will never be allowed to step foot in this building. I will see about that.

A great salesman knows how to change minds people. Someone please let Matt the security guard know. All right. Don't worry. I already paid Matt off. It was really easy. Let's be real. If your private student loans have your eye on a third job at the local taco stand. Maybe it's time for a better plan. Why Refie is your lifesaver in a sea of debt? Unlike typical loan sharks who treat your credit score like a magical crystal ball,

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Let's make your debt meltdown a distant memory, not a daily reality. Keep going. Let's see. All right. You went to Cabo. Yes. Immediately after getting hired at a job. Yes.

I like Cabo. Cabo is great. That's not what we're talking about, you actual. Oh, you. You're pathetic. Are you proud of yourself? I actually quite am, you know? How?

In what world are you possibly proud of yourself? I would be so beyond embarrassed to exist in your skin. I don't know what to do with you. Are you sure? Let's get down to business, Caleb. You know, I'm a businessman at heart. I've been trying. I'm talking about a job that you lost.

We're going through your history. I need to get you into a job so you can pay rent. So one of the reason I'm talking about your past. work and where your money is going because it's important to land you in a position where you might stay more than a couple fucking months without getting fired from every damn job you've ever been in in the history of your life because you are a joke of a human being and have not progressed past the age of five. You know, I progress past the age of four according to my CS.

Not everything is a little joke. You would never even be considered for a job here. Are you sure about that, Caleb? Because I think I got the resume ready for you. I got the resume. You have a resume. I do. It's a great resume.

I mean, we'll have to send it to you on Gmail. Give it to me. You have a phone. You actual, dumb, human. All right, I'll send you the... Pull out your phone, you f***. Look how far we're going. I don't know how you exist.

I don't know how you exist. They don't call me Rico Swive for nothing. They don't call you that at all. We assigned you that name when you walked in. You're a moron. I'm going to put the subject as your best. higher and then we're going to look back at this as a fond memory i'm looking on your phone you are not sending me an email because i'm not giving you my email address just we'll use it for other purposes

you know well give me your phone pull it up you no your resume i would just want to see your resume yes you don't what are we talking about i was sent it to you you know shut up you never getting my contact i never want to i'm a professional i never want to interact with you again after this we'll talk about it don't we will not you know this will not be discussed you don't know I do. I have control of my life. Let's look at my resume. Here we go. You're going to like this one. Ready for that? Look how good that looks. What the fuck?

Do you have like an actual like PDF? Let me look. A PDF. Yes. That's a word document or something. He showed me. He just gave me his Indeed profile. There we go. How's that look? Wait, I got two different resumes. So that's one of them. Give me your preferred one. This one probably is the real one, but let me see here. Yeah, this one works. Let's do this one. All right, there you go.

Feast your eyes and fantasize, Caleb. That's my resume. Immediately with the page and the half, just like everyone on financial auto history. You only need a page and a half. The rest of it's my personal. It's not the worst template. It's basic. It's easy.

I like that. Says that you're still working in your last job. We know you're not. Um, that's a work in progress. I like to refer that as a template in the business I work in, aka life. People like this actually exist in the world, people. This is what we're dealing with. This is the collapse of our civilization before our eyes. Oh, it was at Tesla. Tesla, yes. You got fired from Tesla.

Um, I prefer the term let go. Let go. Utilizing effective communication skills to coordinate the timely delivery and organization of materials supporting Oh, this is such fluff, such a word. My goodness, people don't know how to make resumes. I mean, you're going to be my boss anyway. I don't even know what you did there. I mean, I was doing material handling. I was moving stuff.

Flexing around. Looking good. Well, I don't think you utilize effective communication skills to coordinate the timely delivery and organization of materials supporting efficient production at Tesla's vehicles and energy products. That is one bullet of three bullets on this, buddy. It's such bullshit. I would immediately click off and be like, what are the, I'm dealing with.

Press operator February 24 to October, 24, full scaramucci here. What were you doing? I was working, I was like making like pharmaceutical tablets. Why is it press? Oh, you were,

okay. Pressing, yes. And I don't mean to press you there, Caleb. We were making like testosterone gel and stuff. They were making some pretty cool stuff there. Explains why I got all these muscles. Buddy, you look like a fucking twink. You're just like,

a little tall. Maybe you could use a little testosterone gel or something. I don't know. Maybe. Lead machine operator. You're at that one for a while. How many of these did you get let go from? Well, those are just part.

Honestly, there's another resume I have, and I've gotten fired for probably like three or four jobs in Austin already, but I'm telling you. You know, that would not get you hired from a job. Yeah. You know what's funny. Lindsay, you all know, Lindsay in the post show for those who are subscribe. One of the producers here.

I had a nice long conversation with this guy before. She came to me before we filmed as he was like spreading clemitty all over my bathroom walls. And he, she told me, this guy legitimately thinks he is going to impress you and get a job here before he leaves. He actually thinks this.

This human being, light use of that term, actually thinks he was going to walk away with the job here. And he's talking about all. all these firing things. You're a pharmacy tech at some point? That scares the fuck out of me. I mean, I was counting as much as I could over there.

I don't know how you've survived this far. I really don't. I think the job just comes down to looks. Nope, it doesn't. No one would see you when you work here. Other than the coworkers. Imagine people saw my face and I had a sign that's like. Our sales job, no one will see your face.

Why not? They got to see the face. No, they wouldn't. If you don't see the face, I mean, what are we doing? Oh, buddy. Oh, you're actually. Bodie, I got to teach you some things. I mean, this should be called financial.

Yeah, so let's go over the person. Let's compete between the person with $1 and the one with, $500 and it's 401K. $500, you know, after 30 years, that's going to be like, what is like $2 million or something? I mean, that money is there to stay. I was got a spend take out of me. That's money to stay.

Oh, my, okay, okay. Oh, my gosh, let's move on. Please, for a fendick. I'm just reading the notes because it's impossible to stay on track with you, but they're telling me from the conversation, yes. But who's they? Literally the producers right next to you. Oh, are you stupid?

Oh, I see. Okay. I was like, who's talking to you? I mean, like, this is the first time we met. And I was like, hey, I'm a magician. He knows you. Hey, Pookie. Our Memorial Day sale is happening right now, and it's your shot to Graeme.

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See you in the classes. They said that you're interested in enjoying Scientology or Mormonism. I thought about it actually. So if you look at Tom Cruise, for example, and all the crazy stuff he'd done, I think that's the way you get in. You have to be adrenaline. You got to be after it. And that you're also, but you stopped and you abandoned that instead to, in quote from you, chase Melf's lately.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's it. Right there. Mamasitas, Favasitas. That's what I like to say. It's my favorite word these days. That was multiple words, wasn't it?

It was multiple words, but I like to conjoin it. It's called a compound word, Caleb. I know you dropped out of college, but that's something that they like to say compound. word. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Now, before we move on, before we move on,

I do want to press one more time before we get into these documents. All right? What the fuck. We'll see it. I want you to admit what we already know. What's that? That you spend money to f*** women. You buy women's vaginas.

I'll tell you this, Caleb. I'll tell you this. Can you admit to it because you admitted to it before? I'll tell you. about being on camera now. I'll tell you this, Caleb. Why don't you just admit that you buy sex? I'll tell you this, Caleb.

I'll tell you this. When these women meet me and they talk to me and they get to know me, they love me. The process. They get to see who I am as a person. It's prospective process. They don't charge me on my resume.

Hey, can you confirm their perspective process? Let's just call them that. Like potential. I would call them. Potential problems. I'm not even saying. They're not proxas. But the potential.

You could call them. That's where their mind is originally, and you're saying you convert them. Why do you like to call them process so much? Are you, are you under the sex workers? Sex workers. What term do you want to use? Mamacitas, swabacitas. Again, with the compound word.

Lindsay, how much does he spend on? Because I'm not going to get an answer from him. What do we have? From our knowledge, how many problems does he get? That's a Jake question. That's a Jake. What are we spending on prostitution? It looks like he wants.

to find out. Shut the fuck up. You're incapable of answering a question. You're no longer involved in this conversation. Okay, so we're getting the lease in the last month that you spent 400 for sex once. I mean, I'm taking them on dates. In a month. We know you're paying for sex. Escorters.

Escorts. Escorters. That's the word. You use the escort services. I would like to. Correct? I will find you. Can you confirm? I can't confirm nor deny that information. But I can say we had a great time. And she walked away with money.

Oh, that laugh. Okay. Oh, boy, buddy. I'm not going to ask your Hammer Financial School. If you want the quiz to assess where your finances are, go to Calebhammer.com. It has to be seven. And you can come on this show by going to Calebhammer.com slash apply.

All the links are in the description. And if you don't want to end up like a guest on this show, all you have to do is download. It's time to refresh your yard during spring backyard days at the Home Depot. Get low prices guaranteed on propane. grills starting at $179, like the next grill three-burner gas grill, or get $50 off to select Weber Spirit grill and bring big flavor to your backyard. Then set the scene with Hampton Bay string lights that bring it all together.

Shop spring backyard days for seven days at the Home Depot. Now through May 6th, Exclusion supplies to homedipo.com slash price match for details. My budget in an app. Remember, those who sign up for the annual version, get my budget-friendly cookbook, signed by me mailed directly to you. you check it out all the links in the description below oh you're a chef now we made a budget friendly cookbook because people asked how to stick to a budget on 300 hours a month for food so we put it together what's your favorite recipe from the cookbook yeah i like the overnight oats personally

that is my breakfast in the morning it's very simple and it's cost effective it is nice and that is what i eat every you put a little protein powder in there i well no why not you got to get the muscles the muscles how's orange schwarzinger say it you don't you you you're fit but you don't look muscular. I mean, I'm tucking off the Jackie yet. Please don't. Let's talk about your Delta Sky Miles Gold card. All right. Let's take a look.

What's going on there? By the way, even with the month we're looking at your last month where you made your full income. Yeah. Yeah, you still spent more than you made. I did? Oh my gosh. Well, it has to be... But of your joke. That has to be like a sign. It's math. It has

to be what? You got to spend money to make money. Yeah, but you're spending more than you make. You got to spend money to make money, and now this month you're making zero. Don't you spend money to make money? Yes, I properly invest correctly into employees that generate

good returns to the business and I invest money into the market or into real estate and it makes money and it's, you know, I've been very successful and blessed. Great, wonderful. I've been smart about it. You're a moron. I mean, going back to that. Hey, you have $50.

I think so. Yes, you have $50 and your, sorry, $500. $400, if I'm okay, and your negative, your net worth is negative $14,000. Negative $14,000. That's not bad. 14 is actually my lucky number, you know. I think $14,000 is really not that bad, Caleb. I mean, if you look at it, but it's negative. Negative what? In terms of what? Net worth. Your worth. Why does that matter? You're talking about being rich and successful. Your net worth is what you calculate for

wealth success. I mean, you could calculate worth by multiple two of things. I counsel, I look at myself as a worth. We're talking financial worth. Not like self-worth. No, you're talking about being rich and successful. Obviously, yeah. Your net worth is how you calculate that. Oh, okay. Your net worth is negative 14,000. Did you not know this? No, I just- Are we starting from scratch here? A little bit, yeah. Basic bare middle school minimum? Yeah. I mean, I'm always look in the mirror first, you know? I never look down. I always look at the mirror. Always look ahead is what they say. I think you should try that. Oh, for six. 8,000. $155.

Do you know your parents? I think so, yeah. I know them. What kind of answers that? Can you just answer the question? Do you know your parents? Yes. Are they embarrassed by your existence?

Do they talk to you? They do briefly. It's a quick conversation. Yeah? How does it usually go, guy? It's usually like, hey, where's the monthly payment? What? Monthly payments?

Why would they be asking for... Oh, buddy. Oh, my fuck. What a joke. What a joke. What's happening? Being the youngest is not the easiest sometimes. You're the youngest, don't you got siblings?

I'm the oldest. You definitely look like the oldest. Yes, because I'm 30. You're 30. Oh, yes. Okay. Okay. All right.

That's fine. Okay. I just wanted to know. All right. Well, being the youngest is not the easiest, Caleb. I'll tell you that, man. Isn't it the youngest? Is it considered objectively the easiest?

What are you been watching Instagram? No, man. Being the youngest is the hardest. I'm the, I'm the, I'm the, in the family there, Caleb. I got all this pressure on me to be the best. I got to worry about this. I got to worry about making payments.

I got to worry about all this stuff. You also have an identical fucking twin. So I don't know what the youngest thing you're talking about is. I'm better. I'm the better. But that doesn't, it negates this whole little wang, wah, way,

cry baby. It's like a copy and paste laugh. A copy and paste laugh. You're laughing and look to the side. I've never seen you laugh. When do you laugh? Maybe if you say something funny. When do you laugh?

When someone says something funny. Like your Tinder profile? I don't have a Tinder profile. That makes sense. Do you get banned? No. Well, temporarily actually. You got banned temporarily?

It got reversed. It was some dumb. It was like just, you know. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Okay. I'm not on them anymore because I'm banned. Not banned.

That was reversed. Okay. But because I have a more long-term thing. Long-term thing. Long-term thing. Long term thing that I'm not paying for. Oh, okay. I see.

Oh, but you're probably still using like, you know, those like Christian Mango. What are you on? Farmers only. I just said I have a long-term thing. Are you... What did you mean by long-term thing? I'm seeing someone. Oh, really?

Yes. Like a therapist? $8,055.49 on Delta Sky Miles Gold card with $270 a month and $61 for your minimum fee payment. And I don't know how the fuck you're even going to come close to paying for that. New charge is $795 to $66. Probably because you just don't have money. You don't have money. So you have to charge through the credit card.

It's above the credit card limit. You don't care about the credit card limit. You only care about the interest limit. That's what I care about. Interest limit. Interest limits. That's not a term. Market research.

Look it up. What? You're telling me you don't know nothing about this? I thought you were the financial guru. Okay. Please educate me. I want to hear this. Educate me on the,

The market research. The market research says you get a credit card that has a zero percent APR. And, you know, once that baby gets maxed out or did you maxed out, you find ways to pay it off or you do a transfer balance. You know, in the business, we call that a balance transfer. It's okay for this to be maxed out as long as there's zero interest. I think it expired. Yes, I was going to say interest is accruing. Yeah, I mean, when did that happen?

A pathetic excuse of a man. When did that happen? I don't know. You should know. These are your accounts. $190.21 cents of interest is occurring. Jesus. That's a lot.

I better get this job. What job? Your job. The job you're hiring for. I mean. I like your shirt, by the way. Shut up. You know what's funny is that I feel like you look at me like that cactus.

You think so? I mean, I can use a little hair and makeup, but I mean, that's okay. Um, your entire market research, as you said, suggest that this is okay as long as this is 0%. But it's not. And you're above the credit card limit, which means when fees start accruing. How long does this take to pay off if you do not purchase on it

and you only put your minimum payment towards it? Oh, God. Which you're incapable of not purchasing on it. I mean, if we're using dog years. How long in human years? Human years? Well, that guy's still trying to live forever. How long?

I've tried to think two days. Three days, tops. Because once I get that job, you're going to see how well I can sell. No, you're not listening to my question. My question was, if you only put minimum monthly payments towards it and you did not purchase on it, how long does it take the payoff? Not if you get a lump sum down. Six years.

Which, by the way, you don't all of a sudden get $8,000. 60 years? Six years? I mean, yeah. It takes 20 years. So you'll be 43. It'll be 43. Damn.

And still a joke. You're every good looking, though, at least. I don't. Can you say the same thing about yourself? I don't know. I'm okay. Okay. Just, all right. I'm just asking, you know.

I mean, sometimes people have a little confidence issue and, you know, sometimes I like to. I'm okay. Again. I do personal training on the side, so, you know, you need somebody. No, I wouldn't trust you to train a single thing. I could be the in office trainer, Caleb. No. I get a little Pilate studio in here.

No. I get like, everyone, arms up. Let's go. Let's go. You bring in prostitutes and fuck them in our bathroom. Four, five. And she actually says the same thing, too. One, two, three, four, five.

And you can. Who the. Moving on. I could be that personal trainer for the team, the best team. We would be winning. We already are winning. Yeah, I'm here already.

We keep A players, we get rid of B players. We win. Yeah, you're an E player. E player, E for everybody. The fact that you are, this is you as a genuine human, you are never going to make it anywhere in life. You are not. You are an actual,

I need you to know that you are a joke. not as an insult, but as a hopeful revelation to you're not cute in terms of your personality, you are not successful, you are not respected. No one looks upon you and says, wow, that is someone I aspire to be. Listen, the comments are probably tearing you apart. And typically, I would say don't. And typically, I would tell you not to look at the comments. I think you should look at the comments and use them as a wake-up call.

You are an actual joke and you put yourself up here. and I need you to realize that you are rock bottom of humanity so that you can hopefully wake yourself up. I'll tell you what, the comments section, people want to laugh at you first before they laugh at themselves. And what I say to you, Caleb, is that I hope that comic section tears you up as well, because we're going down together, baby. We're in this together.

Batman and Robin. What are they tearing me down for? I don't know. I mean, we're Batman and Robin. We're on this together, aren't we? Not. No, not all. Are we not in this together, Kimmel?

No, not at all for a second. Titanic here, man. I thought you were there. I thought you're going to be like the you know, the fucking. You're going to be like also the Rico Swahe. I'm happy to support you and give you the resources and give you a budget and give you what I would personally do to get out

of this situation. But I think you're so far gone as an existing human on this planet that I don't know what to do. Your personality is broken. Are you serious? You're going to want to see me working at McDonald's hand in French fries? I want to see you pay bills. Why do you look down upon them? What are

What are you to look down upon people? Mickey days. No one, you're making ends meat. Ends meat for what? The French fry bag? Yes. From the fries to the bag is the ends of the meat. Who are you to look down upon them?

What a disgusting human you are? I mean, what about you? What do you? You look like you probably go there fucking every day. I love McDonald's. I'm a fat fuck. I don't look down upon workers. I don't look down upon someone who's going out and grinding to put food on the table for

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I have no idea what you're talking about. No, I don't. I don't look down upon people going out to put food on their table for the family. I don't, but I just don't want that type of job, Caleb. I mean, that's a not fun job. Don't want. It might not be a choice. I got other times, though, man. Yeah, and you're converting it into zero dollars.

Fries in the bag? We'll wait until 40 if I get there, and then I'll start saying that. I don't think you will. You're going to be fucking overdosed under a bridge. I mean, at least I'll have you there with me, right? No. Do you do drugs? No, I don't do it.

Well, we know you. I do that on your old company's credit card. Medicinal. You went in, you got some BS from the gas station. Winning got some BS. Oh, my, what do you stop you in in and getting the gas station for a few bucks? What are you getting?

I mean, I get some booze. I drink a six-pack, but I... Fing a booze. Yes. Car wash, which is really no need. Locos Sports. Locos. Oh, host, Locos.

Oh, my God. That's the best in place in the planet, dude. It's like Hooters, but like Mexican. Mexican, it is the best in place on the planet. That's where the mamasitas are. If you go there, oh my God, dude. Hooters should have just rebranded

to Hooters de Loca because this is the beautiful place to go. All right. Shringuon knew something. Shri. Shangrile. A restaurant. A restaurant. Head shop on wheels. Halazone.

Halal zone. That's right. Boos and Firehouse. lounge, fire house lounge, the Austin Shaker, Friends Bar, Kung Fu Saloon, that's where I remember. I remember that place. Beautiful place. A lot of karate going on there.

Booze and booze. P. Terry's, this is on a credit card. Yeah, I feel like you like Pete Tarries. Like Pete Tarris? Pete Tarris is fine. You like it? What's better? Pete Tarris, McDonald's, what's your choice? Best hamburger in the world? Three, two, one. Well, Pete Tarris probably has a better hamburger, but I do like the taste of McDonald's. McDonald's is okay. I mean, I mean, it's like a Croatian. It's like a science, right?

Yeah. The Cavalier. Cavalier, they got some good beef towel fries. That's the only way I go there. Lift, DoorDash, Hawaiian A-N-A-B. I thought that's supposed to be in a company credit card. Lift, lift, lift. Was that not supposed to be in the company credit card?

The Hawaiian. Booze. The booze. Vietnamese restaurant. Halal Shop, Firehouse Lounge, Roe Polos Pizzeria. Taco Bell, Lel Shop, Axon Mobile, Uber Trip. Tacos. Regos El Vapor.

Dama Botanicals. Symposium Industries. I don't even know. Botanicals. Oh, that's, yeah. T-H-C-A-M. Medicinal. Medicinal.

Amazon. Caledian. Vending. Amazon. Sunkgo get. Well, that's booze and liquor. Vending machine. Vending.

And Prime video channels. Very good. At least just prime video channels, Caleb. Prime video channels. Shut the fuck up. Interest $19. charge. and that's happened twice this year so far.

So interest probably ended a couple months ago. And it's at 29% interest. 29%. Man, I'm getting, I'm kind of getting reams in the back end there, if you know what I mean. Should you pay for that too? No, you do, actually.

I like how everything I say to him is that, no, you. That's your mental capacity. That's just, I'm rubber, your glue, everything bounces off to me and sticks to you. You know what they say, Caleb? Point one finger at me is five back at yourself. That's what they say, Caleb. But this means I don't want a job.

What they say? They say you're looking to move to Mexico, maybe? Yeah. Can you even speak Spanish? I don't know my way around. I know a little bit. I know a little mamacita, suavacita, unsovesa. A little, you know.

I got enough looks as it is. You don't need to speak Spanish. Donde's say ruin Totoos los Pumas. I don't know what you said, but where's something, I don't know where to tell you. Left.

You're going to need that one there. What's that? I mean, or do all the cougars congregate? Oh, seriously? I'm going to keep that one. That's good to know. I know that one too.

Do you know Spanish, Caleb? You look like you're Hispanic? No. No. 25% native. 25% native. What tribe? I don't know.

That's why I couldn't be a free college. Is it the angry tribe? I might struggle with this one, but No Tengo Dinero for El Equeleur Shut up, I already know what that means. I can't forget El double el proximo mess.

Oh yeah, I already know what that means. Yeah, what does it mean? You're going to have to say it a lot. Yeah, it means Yeah, because you've said it many times in your life. It means, hey, where are the beautiful girls to hook up with? I don't know word for word, but I know.

I'm not using your fake name and know it's, I don't have money for rent. Can I pay you double next month instead? Oh, that's what I meant? Oh, that's good. I thought I meant something else, to be honest. Well, Spanish comes with time, Caleb, and you know this. I mean, first grade wasn't taught in a year.

It took two years, okay? Donde I can't encounter a prestamo de dia de Pago. I don't know what that means. Do you know any Spanish, and you're actually going to move to Mexico? I know. I've been Spanish. I mean, I'm... It's where I can find that.

The payday loan. The pay. Where can I find the payday loan? I mean, I know a bit of Spanish. It's always been in my heart. I love Spanish music. I love Spanish women, especially the Mamasitos. Yes, you've said that like 10 times.

My goodness, you're a f***. Mexico is great. You know how expensive is to be in America now? It's ridiculous. But that's also why our incomes are higher. I mean, yeah, I mean, incomes are higher, but so is the work time. I mean, how often are you working, killer? Yeah, we work a lot.

I work a lot. You do? How many hours? 60 hours? I don't know. I don't count my hour. Yamava Resort and Casino at San Manuel is California's number one entertainment destination for today's superstars. Catch the Jonas Brothers return to the Yamava Theater stage on April 30th,

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That's why we pay our managers. That's why you'll pay me to come work for you instead. Caleb. I'm going to f***ing before you leave this building. Buddy, normally I'd offer a course career certification. I just don't think you'd make it through it. Our course careers, we're talking architecture? Are we talking sales?

What are we doing? There is tech sales in there. Tech sales? I could sell some... $1,045. $93. Damn. on this blue cash every day card with $41.91 for the minimum fee payment.

$156 of purchases. Shocker. Over the credit card limit. Extra shocker. Who would have thought? Three years to pay off minimum only. Jesus. Uh-huh.

What is going on with this card? What card? The blue one? Oh, I'm not... I'm surprised by color. What are you doing to me? Yes, it is blue cash every day. Oh, the blue cash every day.

I mean, that's like the blue... The booze, the budget, the essentials. No, that was on the last card. That was also incorporating the budget, Caleb. I mean, I'm telling you. You don't have the budget. I mean, you spent more than you made. You don't know what budget is.

You've never heard the word budget in your life. You've got to spend money to make money. Yeah, what money you're making? You're just getting booze liquor restaurants. I mean, I got some stuff on the side working. How would you tell me? Tell me. Okay, well, I got a friend that's, you know, I got fired for my job last week or whatever.

I know. I actually found someone that does. very similar business. What business? Airbnb manager. That's right. You're looking at it. No one's going to trust you for that.

You're not going to see me. They're not going to see my face. They're going to see the building. You have a friend. You have a friend. Cool. Call him right now. I'll call him.

Call him right now and ask if he's seriously considering you for the job. 100% honest. Put him on the speaker phone. Put the mic to hear. Let's do it. I'll call him right now. Because I wouldn't even come close. Maybe we'll conduct a formal job interview in the post show.

You'll like me. I promise you that. This guy likes me. are literally the opposite. He's from the... Speakerphone right here. Speaker phone right here. Put the mic here.

Oh, hey. The bottom of the phone. Hey, hey, what's up, dude? Yo, you're... Yo, so you're going to consider me actually hiring me for the job, right? Airbnb job, right? Well, I'm going to connect you to the owner.

They're looking for somebody because the current manager is in college station, so he needs somebody. He does. Does he need someone this? week, right? I don't know. All I'm going to be able to do is just connect you with him and then you speak and whatever

terms. Yeah, you tell him. You tell him I'm on the best. I'm on the most on time. I'm the most responsible. Tell him, I'm going to get everything figured out. Can I ask why are you considering me by chance? Why do you want to consider me?

You're just the only person that I did that seems interested. I don't want to leave like anybody. How much are you going to pay me, by the way? I'm not paying you again He's the one that's working with you So what it is Remember how I get paid How much?

A percentage of what it is Do you know how much If you can guess Sorry cut it off That's something that you have to speak to him Negotiate about And like Tell them

Hey 10% or something like 10% How many hours do you think that 10% gets me Dude you probably won't be working much You know Once you got a system automated And you know You probably at most

20 hours a month 20 hours a month? Will I be able to pay rent? Yeah, like I said, once you have a system in place, like, you're calling the housekeeper, you know who to call if something breaks. You really won't be doing much. Can I start to cut you off again? Quick question.

Do you know, because I'm worried about paying rent, obviously. Do you know, like, if I'm about to do this? Is this also, like, a side gig you'd consider? Is this enough to make money on, to live on? So you make, like, also both houses you'll make, like, maybe 500 each? like four to $500 each, but that's monthly. So it's like a little side hustle. Like if you had a job and also this, you'll make enough.

Okay, so you're saying there's enough money to make me. Okay, I like to sound like that. I like to sound that. All right, I'll talk to you later, okay? Well, I'll send my phone number for me and make sure you give him a headshot two of me, okay? I want him to know I look good. Yeah, I don't think he cares about that. He cares more if you could like, you know, soft bowels.

You never know. You never know he's gay or not, you know? I was just, you know, you've been fired from four times. You know, and then he doesn't care, though, I got fired from the last, like, the last company, right? Because I got fired. He doesn't care? Above? Yeah, I got fired.

Oh, wow. I bought chicken nuggets the other day. They, like, were, like, fear and fucking mad about that. On the company card. They were mad about that. I tried to refund it, but. You're messy. Dude, I'm not even joking with you, man.

And, like, I got, I was like, you know, I wanted some chick-fil-A and they, dude, they were mad. I don't know what to say. You've been fired from other jobs too. I know. I got fired from a couple other jobs too. So I want to make sure that's the thing. It's not this is not a job. You can't see it.

That's a job. This is more like a side business, like, like, you know, some extra money. It's not like a job. It's no application. I mean, I'm telling you, man, I can make this work. I can make this. We're going to conquer Austin. We're going to become the high rises.

We're going to become the buildings. We're going to take over the industry, man. I mean, we're going to have to do a little. change, but we're going to become the best. We're going to conquer it. I really hope you, like, you know, start your own stuff. Dude, I'm telling you, man, I'm fucking ready for this. We're going to conquer the Southwest, baby.

They're going to call us the Southwest whatever's, you know. We got this. I'll talk you later. All right. See you later, Holmes. Okay. Okay. How long are you going to last in this job, dude?

I am fierce. I'm fierce. So it sounds like you can only make 1,000 hours a month. I mean, $1,000 is better than nothing. What's your rent? 1200 bucks I mean this is where you come in to play Caleb and what's the name change

you're going to be? Oh, Southwest Tweety's I like to sell you in that Southwest Tweety's Southwest Tweets Tweets Just getting cleaners? Just getting cleaners I'm coordinating man I'm telling you I'm built for this I coordinate with the housekeeping

You know I could practice my Spanish You know I gotta coordinate with the guests You know I'm just gonna be on this They're gonna see my face They're gonna see everything their love about me And I'm going to see myself too, obviously. How's that sound, Caleb? Look, I'm hireable.

Sounds like you won't last long. I'm very hireable, Caleb. Yeah, Uber, Uber, Uber. Go on here. Don't drunk drive. Texas tag, the tolls. That I'm not paying tolls ever again. It's a 0% interest until you're never paying tolls again.

Never. It's a waste time. I thought this was the free state. It's going to fuck your credit, though. They'll put it to collections. They will? It's the you have the freedom to choose if you get a the toll road state.

I mean, can you just cover your license plate? I mean. Yeah, I can get prosecuted, yes. Oh, prosecuted. I don't like the sound prosecuted. I like the other word that sounds close to it, but we don't talk about that. We know that. We know that.

We don't talk about that. Yeah, the credit, the, it's literally the interest free period on this card that is over the balance. Mm-hmm. Or the limit is ending in about four months. Oh, shit. Four months? Yep, four months. Well, guess how much money I'm going to have by then?

Zero. Four thousand bucks. I'll be able to pay off that credit card. How will you have $4,000? Because the Airbnb job, man. You make $1,000 a month, but you have to pay for rent and food and utilities and your bills and your minimum fee payments. Well, that's if I don't get evicted. If I get evicted, though, I mean, I don't have to pay rent.

What's your living situation going to be if you're evicted, though? I'm going to live in your car? I mean, I might have to come here to Hammer Studios. No, no. No? No. I mean, you guys got a huge area here, you know? I mean, don't you know the homeless people out here?

Caleb, you were telling me all about the workers saying I don't care about them. You don't care about the homeless. I mean, I'm not going to say homeless. But I don't think. Take refuge here. I don't think that's the best of our. I'll clean up. I'll take a shower.

They have a shower here, by the way. Yes, I know we have a shower in my office. Yeah, I got some cologne you can use too. You could use a little clone, but do I stink? Do you like Romani? No, I have Tom Ford on right now. Tom Ford. Yeah, it smells quite nice.

I mean, Tom Ford's okay, but you got to get like a younger brand, you know, Tom Ford. I just, I like the smell of the specific one I've picked. You did? Where did you go? Scentbird or where do you go? I don't remember where I got it from, but now I just ordered it online. Okay, I see. Well, what happens if you had someone do that for you, Caleb?

It sounds like a waste of money. Oh, my, how do I get sucked into that? How have you sucked me into that conversation? I'm not going down your rabbit holes. Capital one. Capital Uno, that's right. See, I'm practicing. Oh, you learned one.

Okay. Is this yours? paid off because the balance is like nothing. But, well, actually, you won't be able to pay it off. No. So it's a, it's $29, $25,000 a minute with the payment. But you won't be able to pay this off because you don't

make money right now. Which typically we do, typically that's illegal. We don't allow people to come on the show if they don't make money, but you got fired in between the process of accepting you on the job and coming on. But you just saw there, Caleb, that I was about I got a job, Caleb. Right on the air.

I got a job, Caleb. No, he that. I mean you can talk after. He said it's not a job. He could define, I like to switch terms around, Caleb, okay? I'm sure. I'm exclusive that way. He purchased $326 on this card. $327.

Again, it's f***ing booze and booze. Borgh. DoorDash. Prime Video, Popeyes, Pteris, Torchies, Bat City Pies, Uber Chipp, Amazon. You're spending all your money that you do not have. And you're spending money to make money. You don't invest in anything business-related.

You don't invest in anything self-help related, any education, any kind of resources. You just invest in booze food. I mean, you do too, right? I can afford it. I put it in a budget and I don't get booze or but I do get food. You put it on a credit card though, right? And pay it off every single month. You have balances on these cards and you also don't have an income.

I do. Okay. Well, look at this this way, Caleb. Credit cards are a way to hold your money, just like a bank account. No. Okay, I'm going to allow you to try to explain this. Sure. Go ahead.

If, you know, I can't get something to eat, for example, the Bat City Pies, you know, I'm just holding my money into that credit card. That doesn't make sense. How are you holding your money on that card? It's holding it. Explain how that makes sense. Please explain to logic. Instead of spending the $32 for pizza, I'm putting in a plastic credit card. I'm holding it there.

But you don't even have that money on your checking account. I'm holding it there. But you don't even have that money in a checking account to spend. That frees me up in other areas. You didn't have the option to spend that in your checking account because you didn't have the money there. Why does that matter? Because it's not a fucking hold. You're not holding money from your checking account by putting out a credit card and said you didn't have the money in the checking account.

It's holding something. I'll tell you that. No, it's not holding. There's no money there that's being hold. Hell. Oh, the pizza's being holed. That was what you're saying. Huh?

The pizza? Because I ordered the pizza and I hold it on a credit card. Oh, you are draining my mental energy way too early in here. Okay. Let's see. I mean, I'll tell you what. If I had other places to hold the pizza, I would. Okay.

Maybe you can hold me a pizza. I'm reading a weird note right now. I'm reading a weird note. Well, they said your 401k was $16,000, but I see in the notes it's 500 right now. Oh. Did you cash out your 401K? When? There's nothing to show for it.

There's no savings anywhere. There's no money anywhere. Market downturn. Market downturn and tax return. They sold when it went low? I got to my taxes. Big taxes. What?

What? Tell me anything. I, I. Tell me anything, you fucking moron, please. Tell me anything that makes sense. Okay, let me try to be coherent for this, Caleb. Right. So I was living in Phoenix and I was doing super well in that city.

So I moved back. And when I moved back, tax return came. I owed $4,000. It was on a tax return, but yes. Oh, yeah. 4,000 hours because you were doing a lot of contracting work and you didn't. And I got fired from a couple jobs in Phoenix, too. I mean, I was on a big role here.

You don't think you have to pay. taxes. Nobody does. I mean, why do we have to anyways? I thought this was a free country. I mean, anyone else think like that too? I mean, you got to pay taxes? I don't know. The Supreme Court and like the, I think it was the 30 said that income, or 20 said that the income taxes constitutional. We got to revisit that. I mean, I don't really agree with that. No one likes taxes. Yeah, nobody does, especially this guy, or in this guy, you know, Batman and Raven. Yeah, I'm sure I pay a lot more on taxes than you, but yeah, well, I, because I actually pay mine. Yeah. But either way, $4,000.

thousand dollars. It's like 30% call. I mean, you still barely made any money probably. But yes, I'm sure you had just contracting rolls just like you're doing with this job. Yeah. And you didn't say anything cited for taxes. When you, when you're just a standard nine to five, whatever job in your W-2, that stuff is withheld for you. So you don't have to worry about it. But when it comes to these contract jobs where you're your own business, you have to do that for yourself instead. Really? You know, oh my gosh. We're really starting from zero. I was under the assumption that you can just like. Under the assumption. like just like hold all your money to yourself and going back to a whole term i like that you can but

then you have to pay the taxes i mean why quarterly or annually well can't you like because you owe them i mean i could deduct it i could what would you be deducting my drive here the the that wasn't for business it was i'm on a business mission right now caleb i'm on business right now business irs please look into this guy i'm calling it right here i know you're in the comments oh man who do you think is winning right now me or him i think me based on looks. Looks, you know.

But winning what? We're not in a same shirt though. I like the shirt. You got a good color there. The cactus. We're not in a competition for anything. What are you winning? I thought this was like a, I don't know, I don't know.

I thought we were, I don't know. I'm just saying I'm the better looking one. Okay, yes. You're more fit. Thank you. For sure. You're good looking too. And you're younger.

Thank you. Yeah. I mean, I'm certainly not ugly, but I definitely could lose weight. That's for sure. I can help you with that. I just don't want to interact.

with you, so no. I'll tell you what. Imagine me running behind you, telling you all about my financial problems. You could probably run four or five miles a day. They're telling me you pitch them on an idea where I have a competition for who pays off their debt the best? I don't know what the best means and the reward is a vacation. I assume you want to compete in that. Yes, yes. But what does being paid off the debt the best means? Here's the idea. It's almost like a game show. Like all like the people on financial audit. Whoever like can sign up and commit to paying off the debt. Whoever you know they comes out

on their own gets to go to Cabo. The rest of them do that on their own because they're adults. All inclusive. All inclusive and I get to select the location of course because I'm going to win. Is that where your favorite prostitutes are? I don't know. I've never been to Cabo. You haven't been there? You got to check it out. It's quite quite fun to be honest. I'm not really

a drinker like you though. That's not my lifestyle. You don't like that? I mean I'm telling you got to be free-spirited. Caleb you got to let go go a little bit. No, it's not my vibe. I have an addictive personality so I know not to really get into that. What is addictive personality mean? I fall into habits and addictions very easily. So you're made and you're a user? No, I specifically stay away. Caleb, as soon as I walked in the building there, I saw your eyes. You looked out of it. I was concerned. I'm tired. I am tired today. You're tired. Okay. I'm just going to jot that down.

Okay. Well, what to see if I get the job? I So, I still don't know what paying off the debt the best is yet. Okay. Get down back to business. All right, you wrote a parable for the application. A parable. For your application, for your job application. This is my favorite.

I'm allowing you to actually do this. And yes, I have to say, once again, this is 100% real. A hundred percent real. All right. And it fucking blood. my mind. And go ahead. I haven't heard this, but it just blows my mind that you are an actual human that exists like this and you think it's a good thing. Okay. Once upon a time in a cozy village nestled between whispering woods and a sugar-dusted hills. There lived a curious little boy named Luigi.

Luigi had a wild imagination, a big heart, and an even bigger craving for cookies. One sunny afternoon, Luigi wandered into the village bakery. The scent of warm, simonym, milton chocolate, and buttery doughs swirled through the air like a spell. His eyes sped. sparkled at the sight of the golden cookies stacked high behind the glass. But when he reached into his pocket, oh no, he did not have enough coins to even buy one. He ran to his mother with hopeful eyes and asked gently, Mama, may I have some coins for the cookies? She smiled and said, not today, my love. Just as Luigi turned away with a heavy heart, a man appeared in a coat made of patchwork belt and shoes that twinkled like stars.

I saw what happened, the man, saying Kylie. I'll make you a deal, little dreamer. I'll give you all the cookies your heart desires. All I ask for is one small nickel each time you borrow a cookie. That's it. Louisi's eyes lit off like fireflies. Deal, he said. And so began the sweetest chapter of Luigi's life. He he munched on cookies morning, noon, and night. He learned everything there was to know about cookies, the flavors, the bacon, even the business. He grew around and jolly and wise in the ways of sweets. But one day, as he flipped through the pages of his cookie ledger, he gasped. He owed more nickels than there was stars in the sky.

The weight of the cookie deck grew so heavy, he felt like dunking his head into a giant bowl of steam and milk and floating away. Understandable. And in the moment, Luigi learned a lesson that stuck harder than the caramel on a cold spoon. Magic cookies are sweet, but borrowed bites can lead to bitter crumbs. So dear children, never borrow what you can't repay, especially when cookies are involved. The end. Okay, great. So you wrote that, but you don't live by it, not for a single second.

I dream by it. So what the fuck are you talking about? That is the most pointless bullshit because you don't do anything. Why be an inspirational person that preaches all this stuff and then doesn't do it? I'm going to tell you, because dreaming, is better than doing sometimes. No, when? Because it's the goal.

It's the idea. Yeah, but a goal without action is nothing. If you don't have no North Star, how are you going to walk towards it? But you don't follow it. The North Star takes time, Caleb. No, you see the North Star and then you avoid it at all costs. It's just like the bear says, the lessons learned once the cookie debt's too big. In this case, your cookie debt is too big.

And you have no nickels. I got a couple bites left. You have no nickels. You got a couple nickels. No, you have nothing. You literally make zero nickels a month. once again, we have a job offer. They specifically said it's not a job.

You're going to have to be the one out there hustling, working 20 hours a month for $2,000. That's good luck. That's good. Look how good that would be in Mexico? That's amazing. Dude, I could rent a villa for that. You can come join me.

We could do a financial audit in Mexico. We could actually interview Mexicans over there. Shut the fuck up. That could be a cool job. Oh, I just got to move forward, man. I got to get through this. a horrendous existence on this planet. And ambition comes in all shapes and sizes.

At First Citizens Bank, we roll with your goals because we're built for what you're building. Fit for your ambition for Citizens Bank. The fact that you're like proud of this existence kills me. Normally this is also when I recommend the fizz card or Sondermind for therapy. But again, I don't want to put a therapist through talking with you. And I don't want you to get anywhere near a fizz card. That's funny? Yeah, it's kind of funny.

You could have the therapist. Is it okay. I already do. Power play. What is this? Power pay. Power pay. Oh, that's a good question, Caleb.

Well, I got a little work done, to say the least. A little work done. A little tweaking. A little, a little maintenance. Yeah, a little maintenance. What? It was called Cool Sculpting. Have you heard about this term?

No. It's pretty much to make your, the fat on your body, especially for males, because we get fat on our abs and our love handles, they use like a freeze gun and they like stick it on your fat and it like literally melts the fat away from you using like sub-zero temperatures. So I got that procedure done and I'm waiting on my next. Yeah, I'm waiting for my next session at the end of the month. How much did you lose?

I actually pretty much going to have abs at the end of this. You know, how much did you lose so far? Lose for your session. The fat. The fat? Oh, pretty good. Like, I was already in good shape. How much did you lose?

What do you mean lose? The fat! The fat? You paid for the procedure to lose the fat. How much did you lose? I don't know. Probably like five, ten pounds or something? Really?

Yeah. Hey guys always ask me, Caleb, what do you invest in? And honestly, I keep it pretty boring. Take a look at this. Take a look at this. This is my investments right here. And this is why you got to follow me on Blossom. if you want to see just that.

A couple weeks back, I stumbled upon the social investing app called Blossom and thought, all right, let's give it a try. And it turns out it's actually really cool. And to be clear, they're not a brokerage. Blossom is a completely free social media platform. They're not your typical investing app. It's social meaning you can follow exactly what I'm investing in and you can check out my portfolio in real time

and even discuss strategies with me and other investors. There's no guessing games, just clear transparency. So if you're curious about how I'm, I'm investing or just want to get smarter with your money, download Blossom right now. And you can follow me at Caleb Hammer. I'll be sharing my exact portfolio breakdown, investing tips, and even responding to your questions. It's totally free, super simple, and way more fun than just guessing stocks alone. So hit that link below, join me on Blossom and let's grow our money together.

Seriously, right now, you can actually see what my portfolio looks like today. I don't believe you. I can recommend you. I mean, I got it. If it was real, I'd use it because I got some, but I don't believe. leave you or trust you. It's extremely painful. You might want to get some weed with it because they'll stick this thing on you and just

like you're like dying there on the chair and like you have it all this like loop it on you you and you're like, oh my God. For how long? It's like four hours. Okay, never mind. $2,65 to $65 is what's owed for this. You borrowed it at a 15% interest rate for this. You know, I did that right though because they asked me who was in my household.

I would have gotten a better interest rate, but I said, lived alone. So I was a good person. Do you? I do live alone. So you just answered you, it just answered the question. Okay. I'm an honest guy, Caleb. That's why you got to hire me, baby. Okay. You need to be honest to yourself about how much of a joke you are. Oh, it was an ad on Instagram. Great. Yeah. Okay. $65. $65.62 a month. 65% off, actually. 65% off the procedure. Yeah, 65% off. $65 and 62 is your minimum payment. This is going to be paid off in basically never with that minimum payment and with the interest rate attached to it. Good fucking luck, dude.

What a joke. I could get you. You're a joke. Do you want to meet with Dr. Anx? Nope. No? She would like to consult with you. Don't give a shit.

Not getting you whatever commission you're going to get for that. I mean, it'd be good. Truth in lending. Okay, yeah, from lead bank for what? What is this for? Lead bank. Oh, I think that's my real estate license. I'm trying to get my real estate license.

No, 30% interest rate? What? Wait, is that 30% interest rate? Yes, you. What is it? How much is it per month? 26. 20.

Oh, yeah, that's the real estate license, yeah. That's with a firm, though. You find it? Oh, you affirmed a real estate license? Yeah, I did. Okay, balance 314. I'm going to become the best apartment locator to the cities have seen. You're just helping people find apartments?

Yeah, it's apartment locating, baby. It's working. I don't think people really do that much in Austin. It's not in New York or San Francisco. I am telling you, I use an apartment locator. Just going Zillow. You don't need Zillow. You need Zillow.

Why would they use you? Someone that's slower than them. That's a good question because... Oh, here he goes. There's a lot on your plate, Caleb, you know? You know, there's places to live. There's places to see. There's so many things to go to.

But the problem is you don't have time to figure out what you need. And so when you got a guy like me on your back... A moron? Yeah. No, no, not a moron. When you got someone like me, I'm there taking care of you, Caleb.

I'm looking for the deals. I'm fine you this. special places, man. But you're also dealing with other clients. I'd rather look at my own pace and go on Zillow and see a thousand apartments in one day. Are you serious, Caleb? Yeah. That's not effective, man. I've been pretty okay with my housing situations in my life. Are you sure? Yeah. It could be better, though. I mean, I don't think so. What's the biggest thing you've looked for in your house? What's your real estate portfolio worth? Um, $4. $4. F*** off them. I mean, I can help you, Caleb. I'm telling you, even finding a house is not as simple as people think it is. I think I'd do pretty

okay. How do you find your house? What's your real estate portfolio worth? $9. Fuck off. You see how big it's winning? We're not comparable. You're not care parable because you haven't worked with me yet. I don't play the big dig contest because I don't care about that kind of shit. That's not what I do. However, if you're going to come here and say that you are the authoritative figure on this, I'm going to pull the big dick on it. Oh, really? It doesn't look that big. I don't know what you're talking about, man. I'm doing the rubber glue thing. It's so silly. Yeah, I mean, I mean Shut the fuck up.

You are an actual elementary schooler. I did graduate elementary school. I know the song too of my elementary school. It's pretty cool. I love that song. I'm glad you walked away with that. Not any life skills. Except good looks.

Charmed. Personality. Your personality is horrendous. That's what you need to be a realtor, but you have to pay for sex. I don't need to do that. Even I'm fat and I have, you know, my sex. I've never struggled with it.

Let me guess her name. name, right, Angela? Or left C? Huh? Oh. Yeah. That's, that's fine. Is that their names? Just curious. Curious. Very silly guy. Yeah. No, see, that's used it. Okay. I don't know, man. How often people find apartments? I could do that, man. I know some people use it. It's just, it's, I don't think it's as big of a thing in Austin. And I did, like, good luck. I mean, I could try. There's so many services out there that are just online. You can browse. And now they have the self-turing for apartment buildings. Self-touring.

You haven't even seen this? Look, this is the industry you're trying to get into and you're not even aware. A lot of apartment buildings around here you scan a QR code in front and then it unlocks a unit that you're able to go into

and just view what the apartment looks like and see all their amenities. Yeah, well... They don't need you anymore. You're outdated. You're a dying breed. Damn. Didn't like to hear it that way, Caleb.

Well, because it's true. I'll tell you what, Caleb, in sales, we learn not to quit. We learn to persuade and ask questions. Yeah, but you also learn to game the system and your system's dying and you need to go to a different system where you can actually make money.

This feels like the moment when that last Top Gun movie came out and the sergeant said, you're a dying breed, Tom Cruise, you're a dying breed. And he looked at him and like, we'll find out captain. You love Tom Cruise. We know. We've learned. It's a Scientologist. That's the reference I was making.

And then I have a note that you owe your mom and dad $2,000 for a car loan, Mazda 2 green. Yeah. That's the best car on the planet. That was my dream car when I was 12, dude. I'm serious. That thing is a manual. Yeah, you're 25 now. Green's my favorite color.

I mean, look at that. Look at that. Look at that. What kind of car you have, Caleb? Tesla. Tesla. What kind of Tesla? Model X.

Model X. I don't even know what Model X is. Okay. It's the premium SUV. Oh, the SUV. I see. So you're like, what are you doing that thing? I mean, you drive?

You drive? Where, too? Work, restaurants. I went to San Antonio this weekend. Oh, you're San Antonio. Okay. Well, I'll tell you what, Caleb. I mean, I know you got a lot of sightseeing to do these houses you want to build or whatever, but I'll tell you what.

If someone was doing the driving for you, like me, I can find you the best place to live. I would not trust you behind a zero to 60 and three second car. They didn't either. Who? Who's they? That's redacted information. Oh, right. When you worked for Tesla.

Yeah. You don't know what a model X is and you worked for Tesla. They have five models. I only know the model and that model was me. You are such a joke You are such a embarrassment You owe $2,000 to your parents

It's for a car What's your minimum monthly to them? I haven't paid them yet Wait, when did you get this? I think it was like A couple months ago Or four months ago now, I think I think it was four or five months ago, yeah

Okay, who do you talk to the most? My mom Give her a call, ask her how she feels That you haven't made any payments yet I'm not sure if she's available Give a call. Call them both. Yeah, I'm making you confront some shit.

For what's worth, it's worth about $3,000. So you do have a thousand-hour equity position in it. Let me see if I can reach out to her. Call her. Call her. Okay. Let me call her. Hello.

Hey, Mom. So remember how I was telling you was on that podcast? I just want to ask you about something separate from all the other stuff happening. They want me to ask you, how do you feel about me not making the monthly payments yet with the car that I have that asked, I borrowed money for you and dad from? Only that. We're only asking about that. Oh, she hung up. I'd hang up too.

Oh, man. Ask your dad. Call your dad. I don't know if. Call your dad. You don't give them the whole winded thing. Just ask them how they feel that you haven't made a payment. Okay.

I doubt that's the first time she's hung up on you. And the other dude hung up on you too. No, my dad's working right now. I don't think he can. What does he do? He's a software developer. Okay, call him. Oh, they don't do anything anyway.

Hey, mom. Do you see my text? No. Okay, so I'm on a podcast right now, okay? Okay. Okay, so I have to ask you, what are your thoughts about me not making the monthly payment on the car? yet.

You're making a what? The payment. I'm supposed to pay you guys with the Mazda I got. What are your thoughts on that? I don't even know. I mean, I don't know what you deal with that. I mean, I don't even know. Oh, so I just got to deal with dad.

Okay, sounds good. All right. I'll talk to you later. Call Papa. I'm not going to call Papa. Call him. Big bear is too much for a little bear. Call him.

We're not going to come. I'm telling you to call him. him. Call him. I don't say we could call him, dude. He's actually working right now. Okay. If he doesn't pick up, he doesn't pick up but call him. Okay. I'll... Fuck's sake, man. You know them $2,000 and you're not paying them. What's the thing agreed upon minimum

with the payment? I don't think there's even been a agree. Speaker to hear. Don't open with the long fucking spiel. Just ask the question. Hey, hey, dad. Hey, dad. What's up, dad? I was curious, what do you think about that monthly payment I stole you guys on the Mazda, too?

Well, you know what, pal? I don't know what to make of it, man. I don't know what to make of it. Am I in trouble with you guys, you and mom? We definitely have to talk later about it. Okay, but I'm still your favorite. I'm still your guys' favorite son, though, right? Of course.

Oh, sweet. Yeah. Thanks. Give me this. Give me this. Open it. Open it now. Open it.

Open it. Okay. Open your phone. There it is. He didn't call his dad. He called someone named Tony. Main man, Tony. I knew it.

You are such a little... You are such a fucking joke of a human. They didn't believe me? That was my dad, man. This is your dad. Oh, my God. If he doesn't pick up, it's okay. Hello.

Oh, shit. Oh, dad. What are your thoughts about me not making the multi-payment on the car yet? Not me. Not making the multi-payments on the car. I'm on a podcast right now. Why? Because I want to find out.

What do you think about me not making the multi-payments in the car yet? No, no. Well, me more. It doesn't mean anything. I guess I don't understand the question. Okay. So, should I make my monthly payments? The fact that you were not being.

Have you never made a monthly payment? Yeah, the fact I haven't made me. monthly payments yet. Well, what do you think I would think? Probably not good, honestly. Ask him how much you want so long. Look at there. You didn't even need to call me for that.

How much is it per month? I don't know. How much is it per month? Why are you asking me these questions? I'll talk to you, dad. I just text a mom about it. It's a podcast. I'll talk to you later, okay?

You're a deep and you deserve it. You deserve that competition. You may me do that. Exactly. And you deserve it, honestly, because you're not. willing to deal with you ever, your shit, ever. You're not able to deal with this single fucking thing. You're an immature little

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Priceline. World. Okay? And you call someone else to try to get out of it. You're a joke. You wish I was a joke, Caleb. But when I come... Shut the fuck up.

We're going to send this to your parents. No, you don't. Don't send this to your parents and they're going to see that you pay for sex. Oh, you deserve it. Normally, I'm not like, expose the guests and this kind of stuff. You deserve it.

You obviously, I mean, I should expose you too, Caleb. You know why? You expose me for, go ahead. When I walked in the building, I saw you. You were red-eyed. You were, like, all over the place. And I was like, Caleb, is this Hammer Studios? And he's like, yeah, it's Hammer Studios.

So you have to make up stuff to expose? I mean, I was surprised as you were. I was like, all right, let me just go and do my thing here tonight. I didn't see you until you went to pee, Chlamydia, all over our bathroom walls while I was trying to get myself a coffee. Only you would know what Calimedia would look like. I mean, are you a doctor or something? I mean, I saw, we're doing the rubber glue situation again. What's rubber glue?

I'm rubber glue, everything you say bounced off me and sticks to you. Oh, my God. That's all you do, buddy. That's the only, you wish. I wish. You wish, yeah. Again, you're doing it again. That's all, that's your only comeback.

Yeah, you wish, you wish. Okay. You have never left the playground. I haven't because I'm always having fun, Caleb, unlike you. Because you don't exchange your time for money. You need people to take some of the stuff off your plate. I'm hiring me. people right now. We're hiring like a dozen people. You don't. You know nothing about our business.

I know a lot because I'm going to get into it. I'm going to see how well. You're not going to ever be allowed near this building. If we see you entering the complex, our security guard will pull out his gun. What kind of gun does he have? It's a pistol, some kind. What kind of? I set up some kind because I do not know. Really? Yes. Okay. Well, I'll tell you what. It's concealed. Do you know how to how to disarm someone with a pistol? It's quite easy, in fact. He's trained and I don't think you're going to be even close. You won't even be close to him by the time you know a bullet is left his barrel. Yeah, well, I'm fast as fuck.

Okay, you own medical bills. Yeah, I do. There's actually some good reason for those medical bills. What brain injury was it? It was the brain injury. I got like the Mozart brain. I got like a creative, creative mind. No.

I feel like your mind like is like stalled. I feel like your brain. is like really like like put together but you're like kind of like a dim way oh you are just the moronic mother fuck all you do is just when you don't when you get a little bit of pushback you just do the immature little insult things and i love a good immature insult but you do it so poorly yeah yes yes yes yes okay say it one more time what's the medical bill for you i well um i had ADHD but i cured my I cured this myself.

Moving on. What the fuck? I ever heard of magic mushrooms? You ever heard of what's in your checking account right now? Let me check. $329. It's a new savings. $32.

Okay, so it's all gone down from here. We're getting Starbucks, Chipotle. Even though we're fired, booze and liquor. Liquor and fucking smoke, whatever. We do that like five times. McDonald's. Booz, booze, booze, McDonald's, booze.

Ben, wean out money. Torchies. Smoke shop, McDonald's. Liquor. Liquor, liquor, liquor, liquor, DoorDash, Benway, out money, liquor. 77 degrees.

Liquor and smokes and liquor and smokes and liquor and smokes. Liquor smokes, liquor smokes, liquor smokes, liquor smokes. Lernerner, not money. Lime payoff. Lime payoff. What's that? I don't fucking know. I love lines.

Galaxy. Liquor booze, liquor booze, liquor booze, liquor boo, smoke shop, lime ride. Tacos, tacos, Ricardo, champs, fucking liquor smoke, liquor smoke. Stop! You're annoying. Liquor smokes, dominoes, door dash, door dash. So you pulled through the 4.O.K.

Again, I need to hear about that because, like, what did you even use the money for? I use the money to pay off all the credit card debt I had. Oh, and then it's all that upgrade. You're, oh. It's kind of like a pistons. You know how pistons work? If you put pressure on one, the other four rays, you know how they design cars like that or whatever?

I think it's the same thing that happens. It's like, yeah, I put pressure on one thing and the rest of it just raises. So like, I think I focus too much on my finances sometimes where it just, like, stresses me out. And being 100% genuine right now. Yeah. I want to see exactly what this says. The last escort is the term we agreed on that you slept with. Show me her picture.

100% serious and don't fuck around. I want it to be the real picture. Your phone's on the table next to your kids drink. Sweet. Who doesn't like Kool-Aid? It's Capri Sun. It's not Kool-Aid. Let me look.

I want this to be real. You better not. All I know, you've only deflected, lied, even about the people you're calling. like I'm looking right now. Yeah. How do you find them? Where are you looking to get the picture? No, they're just my contacts.

Okay, so it's in your contact. Yeah. Okay, so you pulled her off this. I'll show you. Can you tell me a genuine answer? Genuine, where do you find these escorts? I don't find them. Come on.

Take them. No, tell me the real answer. Okay, okay. So at my apartment complex, there's like a huge, like, been like bust apparently of like all these like props are over there. And so when I found out about it, like they all go by the pool. And so when I go by the pool, like, it's just a casual conversation because they know what you're looking for.

And so when I- Show me. Show me the picture. I'll show you. Give me a second. I'll see what a problem. It looks like in 2025. I'm not going to get a budget out of you because you're a joke, but at least this was an

entertaining conversation for the audience. We did it. I made it through for you. But I've reached the end. We're going to look at a process. And then in the post show here in a second, I'm going to bring in my number two in command who does first round interviews. I do second round interviews and last round.

We're going to bring in. We're going to conduct an actual formal job interview with him. And then we're going to bring in some extra tea that the producers have as always. So make sure you join that. Now, let's take a look at this. I'm trying to look. Do you remember her name? No, you just stuck in and gave her money.

I think it was a f-you-or something, wasn't her? You got to give me a second. Well, you know you can type in that name and find out, right? Oh, I don't find her. Okay. where is she right she's a milf oh she looks like a pro i'm not gonna put the picture on the screen because i don't want people to reverse image search and find her but she's caked and fucking okay tell me how much did it cost actually um tell me

how much did it cost no more round answers give me the real answer 300 bucks okay what did you do for 300 dollars um i got to make out with her and then she did a little something to my special spot. Okay, so she blew you? Yeah. You didn't have sex? No. Okay.

She's the CEO of a company. It just links to her own Instagram. Okay. Let's see what her company is. Salon, let the salon come to you. Yeah, I'm sure that's what she does when the salon gets to her. Must be a cover. Yep.

Oh, no. You know what's a cover. because she sent you the link. And you said, sweet. A sunglasses emoji. Me too. And then you guys talked about someone, you're going to love your haircut.

I've heard that before. Can't wait, you say. Contiator Services book messages, makeup, hair, caterings, chef services, all the things. For condos, high rises, hotels. manning entities in Airbnb. You may be free tomorrow for the haircut.

What time tomorrow? Can you do 215? Hey. Hey, text my work for a haircut. Yes, this is how normal people communicate. Okay, hey, I left a message. Oh, gosh, I saw it. I need haircut, and he knows who can do it best, Winky Face.

Wait, did you guys ever? Because you've given her a lot of messages. she hasn't responded to. No, that's like, because like we were talking because you, is on my apartment complex. So like we went by the pool and then. You deleted her text messages. Okay.

Okay. No, that's what I was looking for, but I didn't see it. How often do you do it? How often? Like, I don't really think it's so much. How often do you do it? Like, I do like once in a month. You don't, is it because you can't get any?

No, that's what people that get processed. Do it for because they can't get any. Well, again, I am seeing someone. I do not need that. And even before, I've always at least luckily been able to, you know, get people that I'm attracted to. Yeah, me too. I mean, but sometimes. But how often do you do the process?

Once a month, maybe, once a month. That's crazy, buddy. You know that's crazy. Why do you do it? I don't know. No, come on. Why do you do it? Probably for urges, you know.

I don't really care. I mean, it's just one thing. I mean, what do you think about it? I mean, it's not even that bad. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I would be okay if I know for a fact that they are not in a situation where they're being controlled for someone, where they're in fear for their life, where they're not being trafficked.

I would only ever be okay with it in society if it was like regulated in a way where they're safe and they're good. And then I don't care what consensual adults do. But the fact is a lot of people in those situations are usually in a sketchy situation. Listen, you're a piece of you're discussing. you're a joke of a human. We're going to go to the post show. We're going to conduct a formal job interview and talk about some extra tea that the producers have that I do not know. So make sure you guys join that. Hammerle is the version with thousands of hours of extra content and a lot of other shows that I produce behind that.

And make sure you download the budget app if you don't want to turn out like him. Actually, I don't think it's going to save this kind of case. But remember, if you sign up for the annual version, I'll send you the cookbook, signed and mailed directly to your door. Join us in the post show. He legitimately 100%, 100% wants a job here. This is real. I will let this be a real job interview. We can do it full real.

Sounds good. Robert usually does the first round. I usually do the last round. We'll do a cold little interview thing here. All right, man. Let's start with your name. Clusive members' content. Click the link in the description or pin comment below

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