Financial Audit - Her "Baby Daddy" Destroyed Her Life

Episode Date: October 11, 2023

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My name is Jenna. I'm 21. I'm from Yukon, Oklahoma, and this is financial audit. Well, thanks for coming down from Oklahoma. So what do you do for a living up there? I'm actually a server, sideways tables at a Buffalo Wild Wings. Ooh, I love me, some B-dubs. Okay. Servers, depending on the area, and Buffalo Wildlings is honestly kind of expensive. It can be making some money. What would you say you bring in on average? Because I know a lot of that is tip-based. Let's think average on a monthly base. basis. Well, I haven't really gotten a good consistent average because I haven't worked there like that long. How long have you been working there? It's been like a couple months, probably like

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So what did you bring in last month? Probably about like $1,200. Yeah. No. Yeah. I mean, maybe, but total? You're talking after tips and wages? Yes. What's the minimum wage in Oklahoma? It's $2.13 an hour. No, no, no, no. What's the minimum wage? Uh, $7.25. So it's If you don't make that after. Yeah. After tips then. Okay. So, okay.

Wow. Yes. I mean, I just started. Well, I live with my dad. Oh, okay. I live with my family right now. I just moved to Yukon. From where?

From Weatherford. It's about an hour. Okay. Why did you move? Well, I had a couple situations going on with my kid's dad. So he showed up in my house and he went in. He was being on the door and the windows and stuff. And it really freaked me out.

We had been broken up. We've been broken up for a year now. So like that was only a couple months ago. Yeah. And he has a new girlfriend and everything. And so I figured the best way for me to be able to move on was to kind of like get away. And so I moved to Yukon because my dad lives there. I know you have two kids currently.

Yes. Are they both his as well? Yes, they are. So you moved away. What's the custody agreement? We actually don't currently have one. I am in the process of working on it. We kind of both are.

I don't want to talk too much about it because he's kind of like keeping the kids from me right now. So you don't have them? No. It's really actually it's heartbreaking. It's terrible. Yes, that is heartbreaking. I am so sorry. Yeah.

I've been begging to see them and he won't let me see them. You can cut this part of the conversation off at any. time just let us know but like how has that conversation and relationship gone or is just like okay he's keeping them from you it's our relationship has been awful um basically ever since i've known him uh like i said i was 18 and we met and he was 38 he already has three kids before me three before you and he has another one on the way with someone else that's being born today oh my goodness yeah so really like my mental health has been really messed up because of this because I put everything into him, you know?

I was 18 we met. I'm only 21. I had both my kids before it turned 21. And he's keeping them from me right now because he's scared if he lets me see them or take them, I won't bring them back. But I've never done that to him. You met him in 18. You did not meet him younger than that?

No, it was 18, yeah. A lot of people do get, like, think it's sketchy. It kind of is sketchy. I didn't meet him until as 18, but when you do the whole like time because our daughter and everything. Well, the age gap. I'm just thinking like grooming and stuff like that. I mean, technically, yes, you're 18. You're an adult.

Stuff like that. Honestly, personally now that I've been through it, I see it more. And like, I wish I could have like seen it then. But I see it now. And it's really like, it's been. a struggle every day like this is a it's bad so he was banging on the okay so yeah so there's some fear and you moved home with pop okay yeah uh you're far from your kids now were you seeing them very often um before that i had them all the time actually i had them every day before this um

So when we first broke up, he actually got arrested for domestic assault and battery in prisons of a minor. Against you or someone else? While I was pregnant with my son. We had just found I was pregnant with my son. And he got arrested for that and we broke up. And we were broken up for a while and we got back together for like a week. We broke up again. And they revoked his bond.

because he, well, he wanted to talk to me. I'd left his house and he wanted to talk to me, so he asked me to talk to him. He didn't want to talk to anybody, like, in front of everybody inside, so he asked me to talk outside. It was raining. It was cold. I was pregnant. I was 18 weeks pregnant at this point. So I sat in the car.

The door was open, no shoes on. My phone was inside. And he drove off with the car door open, and I fell off on the highway. What the fuck. Yeah, it's bad. Wow. it too okay so i mean i think okay first of all i there is absolutely no defense not even close yeah i know not even close when we're going into the court situation obviously we're probably

going to hear another side of the story just because i i don't want to be someone who's just like you know i am not the court yeah but even just let's just assume just for the sake you're the only person here that everything you said is 100% the truth and there was nothing else at all and there's no excuse for any of that crap anyway violence not even close wow sounds like uh you should probably have those kids and it sounds like that's probably the direction that it'll go but wow that's i'm so sorry you've been through all that well it's it's so much worse that's just the beginning this last year has been the worst year of my life 100% wow i um after that happened you're only 21 yeah no it's awful i could only imagine

like sometimes I think there are probably people that are double my age that have not even been through I haven't this this my my kid's dad has put me through like because I mean after that happened his bond got revoked and we only had the one car he told me it was a Christmas present before that all happened and he left and he took it was it in his name or yours he never even changed the tag into anybody's name so then when he's when he's left. I couldn't do anything about it. Well, I walked everywhere that winter while I was pregnant with my daughter. Okay. So like it's, yeah. Okay. Again, this is assuming that everything you said is 100% true and correct and it will be corroborated as so in the court of law. Yeah, I'm going to need you in that situation then to definitely get custody and then we're going to need you to probably do some sort of restraining order. And then also. There was one at one point. It did get to submissive.

though because the way that it works is like oh sorry the way that it works is like he's from kansas city so that's where he ran off to when they revoked his bond well they couldn't serve him as papers and until they serve the papers you have to continue to go and i didn't have a car and it was like 20 minutes away so you have to go every two weeks and see and so it ended up getting lapsed over and dismissed i didn't get a car until february this year that might be something that we're looking at, there might be something we're looking at again, though. If there is violence and, you know, constant communication reaching out, sorry, this is not how I expected this to kick off.

So you said you bring in $1,200 a month? Was that the number, $1,200? Yeah, but that's not normal for me. Like before this, I was a manager at an Arby's, and I made double that. Is there an Arby's in the area? There is, and I have been asked to go over there. It's just I've been, I was feeling out serving at Buffalo Wild Wings, you know, because I just started. Well, all I'm saying is if we're building a life and then the kids come back,

1,200 is going to be hard to live off of. Even in a low cost of living area, that's going to be difficult. Well, I've definitely been making. 13, 14 a year. I've definitely been making more lately, like, but it's just really inconsistent. I've been thinking about doing something else, obviously, because the area that I live in. is way more expensive than where I'm even from. Sure, but what I was going to also say is child support.

We should probably seek that as well. Again, assuming everything and anything that you've said is correct, we're only hearing from you, but it doesn't matter either way if any kind of abuse or anything did happen. There's no excuse for that regardless. I want to make that crystal clear. But just assuming anything and everything you've said is the truth. Yeah, we need to do restraining order.

We probably need to have some. child support and stuff like that because this is going to be hard for you to live off of with two kids now did you all plan on having children no okay well so i mean i guess that kind of probably explains why you're in debt right okay so we didn't have a lot of money there's just been craziness in life well i i opened the credit cards originally to like help with my credit and And then I got pregnant with my son and my kid's dad didn't help at all. Like, he disappeared. He left the state.

He, like, I still had my daughter and he wouldn't have. He didn't buy anything. And, like, so one of those credit cards, the whole day is just to buy baby things for my son so that he had everything he needed before he was born. And so, like, I'm in this hole. And I feel like I'm drowning, but it was all just. like make sure that I had like what they needed you know and they always they've never gone without like even now like my numbers are messed up but my kids like how were how were your

your parents in this situation um they're a lot more supportive than they used to be like because in the beginning there was a lot of he say he say but then my kid's dad he left and he quit helping and it was very obvious Like he didn't get my kids He didn't get my daughter anything for Christmas Even though he was here This dude sounds like a complete piece of shit It's not yeah he's not great

But I was like I was so like We had created a family He needs to fucking being an adult I mean what he's like 40 something right now 41 yeah be a fucking adult My goodness this man Oh yeah

I go through it every day Like I beat myself up because I should have known. No, don't beat yourself up. You were 18 and this dude was basically 40. Yeah. I was just, uh, you couldn't even drink yet. So I don't know.

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get a great rate like that on your money is to check out the link in the description below i have a paid affiliate link there you can get bonuses all the way up to 250 and i took advantage of that and you should too i don't know that pisses me off so i i get why you went into the credit card debt obviously your goal now is to get out of the credit card debt and get out of the credit card debt and like the car you have is it paid off it is paid off good i bought it with my taxes this year oh how much How much was it? It was $3,500. Okay, that's definitely very, very cheap for any kind of used car these days.

Miles on it, and what's the car and make? It has like $167,000. What's the car? It's a Nissan, 2009 Nissan Central. Okay. Okay, so we definitely need to get you an emergency fund. We need to get you out of the credit card debt because I want you to have these kids, but when you have these kids, we need to...

I need to have a plan. That is a big concern of mine because, like, I always find a way to make ends meet. The court's also going to have a hard time putting the care of kids in someone who, like, can't financially support the kids. Yes. If I'm not mistaken. Well, before this happened, like I said, like, when I lived in Weatherford, I had a really good paying job and I did pay everything by myself. Like, I paid all my rent, my bills. I bought everything for the kids.

I never asked my kids' dad for anything. I still, even now, like, even though he won't let me see them, I still buy everything for them. I do Walmart pickup orders. So we're definitely going to get you. We need to, yeah. Yeah. Definitely, again, just hearing your side, but assuming, assuming everything you said is correct, we need to get you those kids. And then we need to get child support from that piece of shit.

$1,104 is over on here. This is an Amazon. card, $350 payment. That's actually, that's a good. $40 is the minimum. So we're making progress on that. I assume not having rent is helping. Yes.

Dramatically with that. Very good. The car you drove down here is that car. Yes. Hoi. Hoi, hoi. Okay. $30 dollars of interest is being stolen from me on a monthly basis,

but you're not making any purchases. I haven't made any since I realized how bad it was. When was that? A few months ago, probably. I haven't made any purchases on any of these cards, unless it was like a recurring by accident. Yeah, I was going to say, there is one reoccurring that comes up in another part. But not on purpose.

I haven't been using them because it's been stressed me out. Think about it. Yeah, I'm sure. $145 a fees this year. So we probably had missed payments. And, yeah. Well, it was that during the transitionary period or? Yeah.

Well, it was because I didn't have, like, I was making sure. everything else is taking care of like my kids making sure everything for my kids was good that they had everything and then with moving i didn't have anywhere to put all my kids stuff so i'd get a storage unit and yeah and 2006 hours of interest at a 27.49 percentage just right on this card so yeah it's definitely something we'll want to put your credit scores 467 actually actually actually no since i paid some since i paid a lot of these it's gone up it's 521 now it's gone up drastically pretty fast because I paid quite a bit. Yeah, because you went from essentially what is zero, honestly, when it comes to credit scores.

Well, it was good when I opened them, but like you had the miss payments. Yeah, it definitely got me pretty good. Those will be on your score for a while, on your credit for a while. So discover it. We have, yeah, so another pretty big balance for your income situation, $1,348. $0.30.20. Are you on any government support with this income? I get food stamps.

Yeah, I was going to say, because again, you're making like, if this continues like $13,000 a year, essentially like that. Well, yeah, last year I think I made like 12. How? You said you had a better Arby's job. Well, because I did take off like quite a bit while I was pregnant with my son. Yeah, that was just last year. Yeah.

So. While you were pregnant? Okay. Well, not while I was pregnant, but well, kind of, yeah, because there was a job transition. Yeah. I was working with my kid's dad, and that didn't work, obviously. So, like nothing works with that guy. No, we do not work together.

$36 of interest occurred on this. There was a recurring purchase, four bucks, but you made a $300 minimum month appointment. That's good. I am going to critique how you're going about this instead of making, you know, a decent, chunks of payments towards everything across the board, which is what we've seen so far with the two cards. I want you to take one at a time. So we can just fully get rid of that minimum monthly payment,

and fully get rid of the interest being accrued on that singular thing. And we'll get there at the end. But again, I am happy that you've at least clearly awoken to this is not beneficial to us. Yeah. $57 minimum monthly payment with $36 of interest being accrued. Some dental thing, $4? Oh, yeah. I didn't have any other card, and I actually got my wisdom teeth removed,

and there was like a little fee for something I can't remember, and that was the only card I had on me. Oh, is this four bucks? Yeah. Okay. It's like a copayment. I don't know. Are you on, like, the health care exchanges, so you have insurance?

I have sooner care of Medicaid. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay. Yeah, that makes sense. yeah fees this year again probably missing payments $121 we're probably missing a lot of payments

for a bit and 84 bucks of interest this year exactly I've missed two consecutive on all cards all four of that oh four yeah

okay I have questions about just the getting in especially to the second pregnancy and stuff like that but that's just this is not appropriate for my position so I'm just

yeah like we had an oops baby the first time so it's like why were we not taking precautions well I did want to get on birth control but he honestly

told me he was scared it was going to make me fat so I've ever been on birth control before I met him I'm just talking to him he should just wrap it out Yeah. He doesn't like to do that, obviously. He has six kids in at 41. $164 of fees on this one this year so far and $41 of interest. $7 of interest agreed this last month. Did make a good payment.

And $110 is what you brought it down to with a $40 minimum monthly payment. $110, good. Let's see, what I would have done in hindsight is just fully made sure this card was completely done before paying extra on the other ones. But this one's a 24.9%. Now chime, we have a credit builder And for you I mean honestly I think what a lot of people in your position do If you're going to use like a credit card debit card

It's like you know I have mentioned them a million times with a fizz card It acts like a It acts like a debit card but it helps build credit It's just immediately paid off like it's a debit card Essentially but it helps build credit So that might be something worth considering versus something like this Which you can fall into different fees and interest and stuff on here that I just really don't like.

A lot of AT&T stuff on here. Then we're taking care of insurances and then multiple Amazon purchases. So you're just using this to build credit, I'm assuming. Oh, yes. I remember. So I'm also in college full-time, so I had to buy books. You are? Yes.

I'm a very busy girl. How's college being paid for? I got it all covered by financial aid. Well, hold on. Via Pell Grants? Pelgrants. Okay, so not student loans. No.

Okay. Basically, it's because I'm poor. Right. And I have kids. How much school have you finished so far? I'm actually my first semester. First semester, community college? It's a state college, but it's a very cheap one for the area.

Okay. Well, I mean, it's being paid for, so I mean, I don't care. but what are you trying to study? I'm looking into business management. Lovely, fantastic. Fully, fully supportive. That's great. For my age, I have, like, after my daughter was born when she was two months old,

I started managing at a Burger King. So I was 19. I had a two-month-old, and I was the shift manager. And after a couple months of shift managing, I became an assistant. and I did that for a year. So I really like enjoyed doing that and supervising and doing the paperwork side of things. So I figured. Yeah.

But do you not like working at the fast food places? I actually have gotten to the point where I don't mind it that much. Like for a while I used to hate it and dread it. But now I honestly don't mind going. I'm curious why not just work that job then. I understand wanting to get a degree. But if you're already getting those jobs and making an okay, living off of it, why not just like go down that path essentially?

Well, I'm taking the next four years. Well, because they're not necessarily like the greatest paying jobs. Like as a business management, I would want to do more like in like a bigger company. Sure. It also depends where because we've had fast food managers on the show making $60,000 dollars a year. Well, in my current like when I was a shift manager at Arby's like the most I've made as a

manager so far in my area was $12.50. It was a smaller lower income area though, right? Yeah, it was a college town. It was a little bit more expensive for the area, but still extremely cheap compared to like definitely here. Yeah. And then we just job shop in those situations as well. Yeah. And you build up the resume.

But no, I'm totally for this college and it's paid for her. It's good. Just trying to see what you're trying to do and what you like to do. So there's no balance on that, right? On what? On that chime. Oh, no. Like, so the way that it is.

So you have three debts. Yeah, so the way that the chime one works is like it goes straight out of your account. Yeah. But you have three debts though, correct? Amazon Discover it and then the destiny card? There's one more. Okay, I don't have that. What is it?

It's a Victoria's Secret card. Now, we didn't take that one out to survive. No, we did not. We took that one out to make ourselves feel better. Not against I'm not against trying to feel better Not against that Against going into debt for it though

Because now you're trying to climb out of it What's owed on that? What's the balance down? Like $248? Okay $248? Yes Minimum monthly payment? 40

Yeah Okay Now this is a cash app You're using it kind of like a checking account Spending account? Well, so the way way that I used to do at Arby's and I kind of have it set up at Buffalo is I have like a percentage to my cash app, especially since my kids' dad has my kids.

Like I just like for it to automatically be on there asking him money for the things he needs for my kids. Okay. So I do 15% on my cash app. But as a server, that doesn't really work because I don't make anything in my regular checks. But before when I was making real checks, it was a bigger chunk. Well, okay.

So there's 70 cents in here. What are all these jiff, jiffy trips? Be honest, because these are like $14, $13. You can 100% tell on my end if we're doing a cheap gas fill up or if we're going and we're fucking around with some tequitos. I'm not going to lie, it's probably a mixture of both. Okay, so tequitos. USAA knows dynamic duos can save the day,

like superheroes and sidekicks or auto and home insurance. With USAA, you can bundle your auto and home and save up to 10%. Tap the banner to learn more and get a quote. at usaa.com slash bundle restrictions apply tequitos tequitos some drive-thru tequitos pie shop some conco conco canicou arbis the conico is an oil change and stuff so you did it twice well i got an oil change and i got a red bowl honestly okay pie shop bram store on Q, some drive-thru McDonald's. By the way, where you worked was, like, places with drive-thrus.

You shouldn't give them money. They should give you money. On-Q McDonald's. What's on-Q? Amazon. What's on-Qaeda. Oh, you're tequitoing like crazy. No, I really, it's not that bad.

I don't feel like, but maybe it really is. I mean, I'm naming them off and tequitos in McDonald's and tequitos. How many tequitos did I name that month? So, okay. like flat out I sympathize with your situation 100% but because I care about you

because I care about your kids because I want you guys to have an amazing future when we're trying to get out of credit card debt and we're making $1,200 a month we are not going to make a diesel we are not getting tiquitos we're not getting a red bowl when we're getting an oil change

we're not fucking around we're just not doing it because your future matters your future matters your kids futures matter we're not fucking around right now I know I've been trying to figure out how to get myself out It's so it's been so chaotic like everything in my life

But we are not going to use excuses to fuck around We're not chaos is chaos and chaos sucks It does but your future matters I mean and it just is as simple as that And we're choosing your future over from even in the midst of a storm Yeah I feel like a lot of the reason that I do the mindless spending is because like I'm trying to make myself feel better

because my situation is really not great. No, absolutely. Again, and like I said, I sympathize with the like truly. But because I care about your future, it's just like what we need to find better coping mechanisms. Now on the Medicaid and everything,

do you have therapy? I've been looking into therapy. We're no longer looking into it we're doing. Well, I did, I have started the appointment. I know they diagnosed me with PTSD from my relationship with my kids' dad. Yeah, I bet. But since I moved, they were transferring me to a different facility. So it takes a little bit of a process.

I haven't heard from them yet. So in all the just chaos and storm and history and all that crap, through that, we worked the to the therapist to find better coping mechanisms and things like that. taking yourself deeper in a hole or preventing you from coming out of the hole as quick as you could be, which will take a big stressor off of you. So, yes, I think as far anyone and everyone and everyone should do therapy regardless of their mental health situation, but as far as someone who is primed for it, yes, we need to make sure that you get the mental health that you need to get through the situation and then get out of it and have an overall improved life. So definitely take

advantage of that. And find a therapist that works best for you. Fits in the plans that you have. You know, you might have to do a couple therapists to figure out the one that fits for you. Some people try one doesn't work and then they stop. That's not how it operates. You got to find the right one for you. So definitely, definitely do that. That is going to be a major prescription for you from me. Therapy.

Chime, this is a checking account, but we ended with negative, negative $3.45 cents. Yeah. I'm sorry. I get that. I get that it's making you feel better. We're not doing, we're not, I get that, I get that. And I'll say again that I sympathize with it. But we are not choosing a Red Bull at an oil change over actually having a positive balance in our checking account.

We're not choosing that. Yeah. So Amazon, the Brom store, yeah, Takedos. And now Dave, I haven't seen Dave in a long time. Dave is like a, if I'm not mistaken. it isn't it like a cash advance yeah okay we can i'm sorry we just that is i haven't done one in a long time it kind of just caught up to me well it kind of just caught up to me from a while ago yeah we we can't take advantage of that because in general you're not taking advantage of it they're very much taking

advantage of you that's how that works so that's just i i get it in the situation and wanting and you know it it's that extra thing but especially when money is going out we shouldn't do? Like, in total with the tequitos and eating out, it was 11% of your overall spending. So when it comes to that and getting our, getting some advances on our money, you didn't have to if we weren't doing the on spending. And extra unknown shopping like Amazon and stuff, we don't know what that went to, but that's like an extra 3.2%. So that extra spending, and I get why.

It's a cope why. So we get it. But just looking forward, we're not borrowing from Dave to do that more. Or just not. McDonald's, tequitos from Walmart, because there's only $0.0.70 cents, certainly not in necessity, probably. Dave again, spot me tip. I don't know.

I don't know. Well, like... Is that like a... Okay, so if they spot you money, like... Who? Chime. Okay. So, if Chime's spotting you money and there's this extra fees with it, just stuff, we're not using it.

You know, use something like the FizzCard, my dude. I get wanting to have good credit, but you are not taking... Spotify. I see her on the student plan. Even still. 599. It's your income. Anything that we if we can stop anything, we can listen to ads.

It's okay. That's not going to be a bank breaker. It's just the overall discipline and everything around it. We're changing our habits and we're not, we're not, we're not, we're not, we're not frown anymore. So that's all your accounts. Is there more? No, that's it actually.

Yeah. Those two spending accounts, not much money came in. This is not survivable. Yeah. I, you're going to the school full time. Yes. Good. What I might need to do, and this is going to be hard, how much you can, when you get the children back, which you should, if again, everything we said was correct.

How much help is your dad going to be to lean on? Well, they actually just had a baby, my dad, and his girlfriend. Everyone is just popping out a little. Yeah. So their son is, my brother, their son is actually six weeks. younger than my son. Oh, are they, well, since they're already in the situation with an infant, or are they going to be able to help with yours?

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turn your big business idea into, Sign up for your $1 per month trial at Shopify.com slash special offer. I don't know, honestly, like, I planned on moving out on my own, eventually, like in my own place. Yeah. I'll figure out of doubt. Yeah. Okay, so this was my thought. So, and then I'll then tell me if it's possible.

It's like, okay, we're going to school during the day. We're doing a little bit of homework after that. But what we're doing kind of into the night a little, and we're going to make sure you can sleep and be healthy, but into the night a little, maybe picking up an assistant manager position at a place so we can bring in more money. I have thought about getting a second job. But when you're working, who's going to take care of the kids? Will your dad...

That is the concern right now for me. Okay. We need to have that conversation. Has that conversation been had? Well, they have DHS assisted daycare, but... How is that? Well, it's good. but their dad hasn't been taking them because he doesn't want me to pick them up.

But once you're in, oh my gosh, are they just like being, that sounds like, do they go outside? Is this a safe situation? Well, obviously from the history, it sounds like probably not, but like, you're not just being locked inside, are they? Well, they do get out. It's just like he won't take them to daycare because he knows I can pick them up and he's scared. If I pick them up, I won't bring them back. And you wouldn't and you shouldn't It's been bad though

Like I mean just the other day He pushed me off the steps at his house And took the kids for me Dude if for some reason you're watching this You're a piece of shit And I really don't like you I don't really hate people That's not really an emotion I feel

But I really don't like this guy Well I mean I was like three months pregnant With our son when I found out He had another baby on the way And he lied to me the whole time And said it he was like it wasn't his kid He's a 40-something year old little baby Oh, that girl, she's 22.

No, he. He's a 40-year-old child. Yeah. Well, she's 22. I'm 21. He's 41. So he's got to type, us young ins. I want to take a brief moment to thank today's video sponsor, ORA.

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that cusp and you know there can definitely be lots of manipulation and stuff like that i think there definitely definitely was um i don't like to like make it a big deal and i really don't talk about my situation a lot like to people but like i have never been more measurable than when i am with my baby daddy i don't want you to ever see him again other than across the room in a courthouse i he like makes my life he makes me hate my life and like the nicest way possible like and I try to be nice to him and not like I really do try to be civil but like the things that he's been doing the past nine months it's hard to be like me and his like me and the other girl have been in this fights like gosh it's don't do that don't go to violence oh no she hit me first either way I don't want to see you land up in jail. Yeah. It's not a good.

It's not good. And that's what I'm saying. Like I just like I want to run away almost. But I have to have my kids. I can't just run away and I can't just like block him because like he has my kids. I know. Well, we'll get there again. We need to get there.

That's a part of the conversation that I mean, that just needs to happen in the legal avenues. And I hope you're pursuing that. So behavior. The Red Rock Behavioral Health, is that like a therapy? Copay? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It's a copay for when I went to go see about medications for mental health. Yeah. Okay. So like a psychiatrist? It's like a place that helps with all that kind of stuff. So they do the psychiatrist, therapy, drug. Like if you had drug problems, all that kind of stuff.

Do you have a whole mental health? No. It's like a whole mental health. place if that makes sense. They specialize in mental health. That like helps serve the community? Yes. Yeah.

So yeah, actually with the unknown shopping, so with the tequitos and everything, now that we know what some of these places are, and then include Dave, it's like almost 25% you're spending. It doesn't need to happen. Not when we're borrowing from Dave. Okay, so phone AT&T,

75 bucks 75 so that's your phone bill you know yes okay I'm building out your budget you don't pay anything to your dad to live there no good because there's no money to be given car insurance basically a car payment it's pretty yikes yeah my driver's license has been suspended

twice for driving without insurance because I'm poor and gas we only saw 63 bucks. But we also don't know again. Some of those are tequitos and some of our gas. I don't know. What do you think you spend on gas on a month of business?

Probably about like $150. Okay. How much do you send? How much do you need to send to the kids, I guess? You said you did that, but how much do you? Honestly, it really depends on what he needs for them. This man. Yeah, usually I got better about not just sending him.

money usually now I do Walmart pickup orders because good because you never know what he's spending it on yeah that way I know that he's getting exactly what the kids need and nothing else like I even do it for groceries and stuff so like I buy their food and stuff too how does groceries for you work at home well I get food stamps so I get is a fully cover everything I get 375 a month good so I'm actually not going to put food budget in your thing well except for the kids well I yeah okay so yeah I use I really use about $100 to $200, well, like $150 to $200 on my kids. And then for yourself? For myself.

Is the rest? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For their food. For your food. For my food? Yeah, that's why.

There's so much eating out going on. Okay, I'll give you an additional $100. I think that's how the math works. $150, let's call it. Additional $150 for groceries. Tooth paper, extra, extra, stuff for the kids as well, stuff like this, which is what you need to survive, actually for the household, because the kids are going to put it up to 200. You're going to have to adjust this,

obviously, once you get full custody and everything, but more should come in because he needs to provide as well. He needs to. And we're going to make sure that is legally binding via the court. Ooi, oy, oh, okay. Utilities, internet, not a thing. Okay. Do you know what copays might be once you start receiving therapy, or is it fully covered through? Medicaid? I want to say it's fully covered for the therapy part. The only part that they more make you pay for is if you meet with the psychiatrist, which is what that was.

And how did they go? They said they didn't want to prescribe me anything because I'm adjusting to my life. And they're worried that what I'm going through is just a trauma from my breakup, not anything else. I can appreciate the perspective, you know, not just wanting to get someone on medication immediately through, you know, all, like, what could be a life change thing. Yeah. Well, I mean, so I tried to, like, talk to them about maybe, like, see, because they just,

they diagnosed me with PTSD, which is definitely new. That's something that wasn't a thing that I had before. But I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety when I was in high school. And so, like, this has been a pattern. You know, maybe we just get a second opinion. That's what my mom was wanting me to do because, They all are concerned with my spending habits and my, um,

just the way I care of myself that I have bipolar disorder. Yeah. So that's what I try to talk about. Were you diagnosed with bipolar? Well, when I was younger, they thought that that's what it was. But because like when you're that age, they don't want to diagnose you with something like that. I want you to use your health insurance and go see a doctor as well. Yeah.

Go see a doctor. Go see a psychiatrist. I got to get a doctor. Yeah, so, well, let's take some personal responsibility aspect of this is you get this stuff scheduled. Yes. So get some stuff scheduled. Take advantage of the program you're on. Anything else you need on a monthly basis, phone bill, car insurance, gas, food, and then just the extra tool paper and whatever else is needed.

Anything else that is automatic coming on? I don't think so as well from you. Okay. So again, the situation is going to change when you get full custody. but hopefully the income situation through child support will also change. Do the grants not pay for the books? They did. It's just there was some other books that weren't like connected through the class that I had to buy.

Okay. That just weren't automatically taken from my financial aid. That's why I paid on a separate account. I need to start budgeting and start going aggressive with that. Maybe this is your budget. Maybe it's not. It's hard to say in the situation. Even still with the $1,200 bucks a month, you have an extra $350

left you can have over on a monthly basis. But I think the income is going to change. It's going to increase. It's going to increase with this job because you're going to get better at it. And we need you to get a better job in general, which we know you can do because you have the history and you have the resume for it. You work with a resume builder online as well and just make a good. I do have a resume.

I have a pretty good one. Put it through an algorithm though and make sure it gets reviewed and everything like that. It can call out things that don't look good on a resume, and it can offer improvements that will push you over the edge for a better job. Either way, what I would do, because you live at home, there's less, you have a bit of a safety note. I'm going to, we immediately pay off the destiny card, and then we pay off the victory card after that.

That should be done within two months. Now, the other two cards, I would attack the Amazon card the hardest. You could probably tackle that in this income situation in about four months, and then you can tackle the Discoverer card in about five months. So we can do, we can eliminate the bad debt in a year-ish, a year-ish with your current income situation. But I think you could honestly get that down to six months with just a boost of 350 bucks a month. Just a boost to 350 bucks a month could cut that in half.

I think you could do it even quicker than that. Well, what I needed you to do immediately after attacking them in that order and working as much as you can to pay them off as much as you can, $10,000 minimum. I need you to put aside an emergency fund. It's for medical things. Kid, medical things are yourself. You never know it's going to happen

when it's not covered or things like that. Car breaks down, which would not be a surprise and doesn't make sense to put money into it. Then we go get ourselves five to $10,000 car that we're taking to a mechanic, getting a seal approval that is going to get you and your kids around safely. Now, this legal stuff,

there's legal expenses as well, potentially that are coming into this. Not 100% sure. You know, let's cash flow that the best we can. I would rather you put minimum, your kids come first, put minimum monthly payments towards the debts. Then the extra money that we have, put them towards the legal things is necessary. But then once that's resolved or you don't have to pay for something on a monthly basis, then put it towards the debt. Put it towards saving up a fully funded emergency fund.

I see you paying, if you go get a better job, which I know you can do and you know you can do, you can pay off the debt at least in six months. I think you could have a fully funded emergency fund in a year from that. So a year and a half, let's call you out of bad debt and a fully funded emergency fund and your life has changed. Yeah, it would be nice. It would be nice. I have been struggling since my kids have been more.

Let's say it will be nice, though. Not it would be. It will be because it's right in front of you. You can go do this. What I need you to do through that situation is aggressively budget. make sure you're pursuing the legal avenues to make sure you're you get child support and you get full custody but I also need you to take care of your mental health throughout this whole point because it could collapse

on itself if you're not if you fall into a depressive state or bipolar you know wherever it might be I don't want you to fall back into old tendencies because mental health is not taken care of yeah so that's what I would do and then something you should start considering when you're 22 23 it'll still be in college but that's paid for, start contributing 20% after that 10,000 hours in the emergency phone, 20% on a monthly basis towards retirement. Roth IRA, then you can put it into, if there's a work sponsor 401K as well, but let's max out that Roth IRA every year and let's do minimum 20%

that included on a monthly basis into retirement. Because even on a lower income, but even just on a, let's just say you're a fast food manager forever. Let's say you made 50,000 bucks. I could get you to being technically and officially a millionaire by a retirement at your age if we're putting 20% aside. So we can get there. We can get to the place where you're better off than your parents ever were. You're better off than that piece of dude ever will be. And you have an amazing life built up for you and your kids. You can cash flow their college if you want to eventually. So, I mean, there's a lot of avenues here, but those are the basic steps that. need you to fall for the next year and a half-ish and then start getting on that retirement

and pursue the legal avenues and take care of your mental health through that whole situation as well yeah it is nice seeing like because after my son was born I got very depressed and I kind of let it all go obviously I got really low like just to the point where I honestly didn't like even want to go outside for like months. Yeah, I bet. And so when I finally like woke up and kind of like realized like I needed to do something, it was kind of like all my stuff was already late and... Sure.

Well, that's in the past. Yeah. That's in the past. And if you realize you're in a mental health crisis, make sure you take advantage of the resources that exist out there. But that's in the past. We're not going to judge you for the past. Everything is as it is right now.

What matters is what you're doing now and what you're going to do going forward. So if you follow what I laid out here, you're going to have a successful life. Financially speaking, there's other things that have to be dealt with outside of the finances, but financially speaking, you can have a successful life if you just follow this plan. Do you have any final questions? Any final thoughts? I mean, it's good to feel like I'm going to have a plan because, I mean, it's been, like, it's been hard for me to really make a plan, honestly, because I didn't know where to start.

I mean, obviously, I didn't even have my kids. I barely knew how to take care of myself. Well, we're going to support you along the way. It's not a recording episode and a fucking off type situation. So any questions, any help, any resources, anything we can provide along the way, reach out to us. We're here. We have eyes on all the emails. So reach out to us.

We will help and point you in the right direction and answer the questions that we best can. And then keep us updated on your situation as well. I'd love to have you on in like a year, a year and a half and see you just have a completely turned around life and we can all celebrate. I would love to. You will love to. Yes. We're going to do it someday and I'm going to be in a better place.

I'm sure of it. I'm sure of it too. Obviously a very difficult situation all around. When it comes to her finances, though, hand her financial score. Spending in a budget, I'm going to say 200. 10, it's really not good when 25% is going to bullshit. So 2 out of 10 debt, no collections, no IRS debt, but it's still really bad for her income. So 2 out of 10.

Emergency fund, there's nothing 0.10 retirement. There's nothing 0.10. Real estate, there's nothing 0.0.10. It's going to be a 1 out of 10 hammer financial score for now. Come back in a year and a half. Let's see what it is. Make sure to check out all the resources linked in the description below. They are what I use or would use in specific situations.

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