Financial Audit - I've Never Seen This Before | Financial Audit

Episode Date: February 25, 2026

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Why am I libt hard? Just the people that you have on here. Oh, my goodness, you haven't only. That has nothing to do with me working with kids during the day. I put them through triny boot camp, essentially. I'm also sure the parents of the school loves that you have a boot camp. Something big is coming. Something that's going to change personal finance.

And the first 500 memberwise.com to change the future. Hi, I'm Vickson. I'm 32 years old. I'm from Minneapolis, Minnesota, and this is financial audit. Okay, I have to ask a couple questions, just so I'm being respectful. One, are you born a woman? No. Really? Yeah. I hit it. Well, I guess that's actually not that complicated.

Not you clocking tea right away. Well, fake tits and masculine features. Who would have thought? Not me. Good. I just want to make sure I'm being respectful. I paid a lot for you to not see that. You're on the sheet. Well, yeah, but that never really works. I know.

But that's okay. People know. But that's okay. Doesn't mean I don't respect, you know, whatever you want to do. So are you, she, her? You specifically requested not to do pronouns at the beginning. Yes. Okay.

And I can do that. I've been called them before. Okay. That was very upsetting. Yeah. Oh, based on what you just did with your place. It's offensive. And you are naturally white?

Yes. Okay, because I see like lots of dark tones that I feel like you're trying to hide on your face. Oh, sure. Like there's some black here and here. Yeah, no, that's just contouring. I didn't blend well enough. Okay, I thought maybe you were pulling like a white chick's situation. No, I'm naturally white. Norwegian.

Okay. That's good. Norwegian trans. We love them. That's everyone's favorite kind of trans. I mean, you've had a lot of interesting trans on here. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay.

You've had a lot of libed out trans on here. Switching sides. Libbed out trans? Libtered trans. Yeah. Libed out trans. What does that even mean? Yeah.

I don't know. I was thinking that you kind of had a thing for libthearted trans. I don't think I've, I mean, I don't hate trans people, but I also don't think I've ever had sex with a trans people. Never know. Well, I mean, once you get down there, you kind of know. But. Sometimes. Sometimes not, though.

Okay. Then pause. You may ask the question. You may ask the question. Is it there? Does it dangle? Nope. Really?

Yeah. Oh my goodness. How much does this cost? Well, thankfully, I got it covered by insurance. Insurance? Yes, insurance. Okay. A lot of people are going to be upset that they've contributed to the pile that makes their premiums more expensive for that.

But I don't really care what people do. Genuinely, generally. I wanted to come on here because, like I said, I feel like you've had a lot of libt-hearted trans people on here. I still don't know what that means. Like, libed out. Like, super left-wing. Yeah, we have people left-wing on the show. We have people right-wing on the show.

I thought maybe you might be one as well. Like a libt-hard. Why do you even think that? Like, I don't even care if someone does, but... I don't know. I've watched a lot of your shows. No, every time I take a political compass test, I'm pretty much... In the middle.

I'll take left-wing positions when the facts are there. I'll take right-wing positions when the facts are there. That doesn't mean I sit in the middle on every issue. It means I start from the middle and then go where the facts are. I don't really give a shit where it comes from. Why am I libtard? Just the people that you have on here. We just accept who applies on the show.

I'm guessing you are not libtard because that's very important to you. Identity politics. Critical to you making it through your life, I guess. Yeah. Oh, yeah, definitely, especially in this world. But you're trans. You know them, right? Exactly.

Okay. Do you think you should play in women's sports? No. Okay. I don't think that's fair. You're a controversial one, aren't you? Yes. You're all over the place.

How don't you get there? How did I get where? It's rare to get a right-wing trans. I wouldn't call myself right-wing. Okay, you immediately called me a lib-tar. It's hard to not think you are. I know, but I don't agree with everything. The right-office is going.

Okay. Just confused. I know, I'm an interesting one. What do you do for a living? How about let's start there? What do you think I do for a living? I already know what you do for a living because you told me before, dumbass.

Oh. Stupid bitch and I can actually use that word correctly. Yeah, you know. True. Or someone saying incorrectly, but I don't care. There's a lot worse things you can call me to. I'm not using the F word. You're not going to get me to use it.

I'm not going to use it. I'm not going to use it. We'll see. You're not going to get me to use it, Colton. There's another one. I'm not going to say it. There's another one. Yeah, that one.

Oh, is that the one? Yeah. I use it all the time. Okay. I assume you use the N-word as well. No, not really. No? I've been accused of it, but...

Who accuses people of using the N-word? People that don't like me. Without actually hearing you say the N-word. Yeah, no. I mean, you do look like a Fox News host with a jawline. With a jawline. Yeah. Thank you.

Thank you. Right? I'm planning more surgery, so. Okay, how much hands this all costs? Well, this is financial audit. Right. And it's, it is, it is mostly covered by insurance. Okay, what have you spent on in dollar-wise?

Very budgeting, by the way. I was just going to say nice place. Okay, all right, calm down, calm down. Calm down. How much does it cost you? Upwards. Some of the other people are coming in late, Brandon Lindsay, they watch so they can do the pro show,

post show. Brandon, we have a, he knows. I love it. We love it. I waited at them before I came in here. He's like, who is this person? Okay. So how much does this cost you? You're affirming surgeries. Yeah. Well, what have I had to play? Or what is it like bad? Oh my goodness. Yes. Your money. What have you spent? Because I know you don't make much money even though you haven't told us what you do yet. It's kind of annoying. But I know what you do. I assume it doesn't make that much. But please, how much have you spent? Please. It's like a I'm very thankful. I've been like five to seven.

Okay. Over the course of... Like years? Over the course of how long? Six years. Okay. And how much is the rest of your... Your surgeries, gender-affirming, going to cost? You know, she doesn't have a penis? It's impressive.

Thank you. Sorry. I just... I like to share these things with Brandon. He didn't get to experience the first five minutes of this mind-blowing conversation. That's fine. Yeah. So how much? Don't you just leak urine? Isn't that the issue, though?

I've heard of that. That is something that happens, yeah. See, you gave a face like, well, that's weird. Well, that's not my experience. But it has happened. Oh, it happens to people that don't grow the right people. Okay, so what do you do? I am a manager at a coffee shop.

Okay. We got there. Yeah. Good, very good. And how much do you make, Vixen? about 800 a week. That was at your net? Is that what's your account?

Yep. I have another one coming in. Lindsay, do you know she does not have a penis? I did know that. It's impressive. How do you know these things? You're not even the producer who signed to this episode.

Well, because I'm obsessed with her. Oh. We got lots of big fans in the office. Okay, so is it 800 net? Yes. Okay, times 52. $41,600 a year? To be the manager?

Did you say $41,000? Is it $800 a week, you said? Yeah. What did you put in? Times 52, because there's 52 weeks a year. 41,600. Net. Net.

That's net. Yeah. I thought it was something like 50. Is that before taxes? No, it was after. I thought it was like 800. Do you know how much hits? I thought so.

Wait, do you not actually know what hits your account? Yeah, that was like 850 or 800. You thought? Yeah. But you actually don't know. Well, when I look, when I look, no, it's salary. Okay, then this should be pretty consistent. The payroll that came in last month should be the number, right?

Should be. It was 4,973. Yeah. And that brings us to the sponsor of today's video, Free Cash. Free Cash is a platform where you can make real money on the side by testing apps and games. It's super simple. You can play small tasks and Free Cash pays you directly on the platform. Let me show you how it works.

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and you'll get an extra $5 welcome bonus to start right away. Have fun with it. And now let's get back to the episode. Yeah, that's $60,000 a year. Okay. Okay. What is wrong with you? How do you not know? I, I look at it. Did they transition to the brain to dumb blonde? Well, that does happen. Yeah. There's a whole subculture online about that. know what? That trans become stupid after getting rid of penis? Yeah. I don't know about getting rid of the penis.

I don't know about getting rid of the penis. Well, I don't know. After what? After you trans. Is this real? People... I don't know what's real. People claim that all the hormones changes, like, your biology and your chemistry and

stuff like that. Well, yeah. I mean, you're doing something unnatural. Right. But it doesn't change that much besides physical features. But you just said hormones. I think getting rid of your body of balls doesn't change much hormonal? Why is?

Well, it stops, you stop producing as much testosterone. Well, that's, yeah, that energy doing estrogen? Yeah. Are these not hormonal changes? Yeah, but it's not changing like the, like the biochemical, what, makeup of your DNA, which is what people say. They call a trans woman biological women, which is not true. Correct.

This is your excuse for not knowing how much you make? No, no, that's just genuine, like, I was shocked. I thought I was like 800 a week. Oh, my goodness. Colton said you went on a full rant of a laundry list of reasons you don't even like the trans community. What are you? Yes. You're such a confusing beast, aren't you?

Yes. The fuck is, huh? Beast, definitely. Yeah. Yeah. What is wrong with you? Why did you go fully down this rabbit hole and you hate everyone around you that's in your community? I don't know if I, like, hate them.

I just don't agree with it. Oh, what? Don't agree with what? I don't agree with what the trans community is putting out there. And I asked what? Oh my goodness. You have gone. I don't know how this happened.

What is wrong with you? You are not smart. Please, what? I'm just saying. What? I believe that it's okay that trans women are biological men and it's okay to say that. I think everyone agrees with that. No, they don't.

Biological? They don't. No. Okay, well, that's... I know. People can do whatever they're... they want doesn't change biology. I know. I know. Exactly. And then we have, and then we have people saying that these young kids know that they're trans at a young age. It's like, no.

Yeah, but that's like 1% of the population that's actually even like acting on that shit. Like it's like, but it gets blown out of proportion. It certainly does. Welcome to winning elections. But I mean, that's what, okay. So that's your whole freak out? Well, no, I just, I have values on why I don't believe that's a thing. Do you watch walks? No, I don't. Who do you watch? I don't really watch news. Where are you getting things from?

Lived experience? No, come on. You have opinions and some, usually it's hard to get into an opinion without at least knowing it exists somewhere and you, come on. I mean, I have friends on both sides. Okay. I have friends that are very lived out and I have friends that are more right wing. Okay, but the way you talk about it, libed out and right wing clearly makes you look less

upon the left, meaning you are right wing, regardless of what you say. I mean, I consider myself more libertarian. It's fine if you are. I consider myself more libertarian. Okay, libertarian, so you can do whatever you want. Yeah. Including your children. Well, I guess.

Huh? Obviously, you can do whatever you want. People are adults. I don't know about kids, though. Yeah. If we're going full, libertarian. Before I worked as a manager, though, I was an elementary teacher. Well, in Minneapolis.

Actually, it wasn't in Minneapolis at that time. I was going to say, they wouldn't care, but I could just see that being hyper-controversial. Where were you? I was in a red state, Fargo, North Dakota. And what did they think of that? They never wrong with it. Is it because you're halfway convincing?

Thank you. Halfway. I know. I'll take half. She's getting there. She's spending more. They'd never, they'd have a problem with it because I just did my job. Okay, okay.

Well, you know, maybe things are blown over the top online. Who would have thought? Well, they are. That's what I'm saying. Usually when people see trans or hip about trans, they have some kind of trans women are women and these minors should be allowed. Are you a woman? No.

I'm a trans woman. So it's like a new breed? Sure. That works. Wow, man. I don't love the idea of saying trans women are men, but it's like biologically. Well, biological, but gender. Don't they separate gender and biological?

All the time. All the time. Identify, yeah. Look at what you've done. You've done something. I know. You're not identifying? Well, yeah, I guess, but I don't go around saying I identify as a woman.

Very conflicting, just on your existence. I know. Okay, but you were forced to leave your job as a teacher, so obviously they had some kind of issues. What? So on my social media, I post some more spicy content. Spicy, but they're all fake anyway. So what is there even spicy about it? Things that don't exist, your boobs aren't real.

The parents... Your vagina's not real. The parents... I guess if you post a boathole, those are pretty gender neutral. Which I can't do. Oh, then what's the point? The parents would find my stuff. I mean, look at you, your tits out right now.

And I'm not even looking. You know, why? Because they're fake. Why even look at that point? Fair. Yeah. But parents would find my stuff. Wow, are you posting X-rated stuff? No.

How risque? Just like, Okay, show us. Laundrae. Show us. Laundrae photos. Let's see. Let's see if this was a justified firing.

I didn't get fired from my left it. Oh, yeah. Forced to leave your job is kind of what I got. This is your risque? Yep. I mean, this is the kind of content that people post when they're... It's time to refresh your yard during spring backyard days at the Home Depot.

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True. So it kind of makes sense, right? I don't think I would want my teacher doing that. But how are they finding me? Well, they looked you up Because you're the teacher Right, but it wasn't It's not the same name

One person found it And then they shared it within I know But like why are you That's my private Business That has nothing to do with me Working with kids

During the day Yeah, I mean I mean this kind of makes sense right I would understand Why they would kind of want you out of there Right Especially in a more conservative state No

No? No, I disagree When was the last time You were like Appearance of a guy Can I see it? You didn't see it? Of a guy? You being a guy?

Yeah. No, show me. You just went through the pictures. I wasn't looking intently. I was just like, you know, seeing that, like, I think it was relatively fair. Oh my goodness. What the fuck? That is crazy.

Make sure we put that on screen right now. What the fuck? Yeah. That is crazy. Are you doing anything to your voice or is that natural? Well, I mean, this is how I talk now. Yeah, but are you doing something? intentional or is that just how it is?

This is how I talked now. So as like I said, I was an educator, a music educator, I should say. Really? What were you teaching music? What? What? What kind of music? Oh, elementary, elementary music educator.

Okay. I know, sorry. But I was also a voice teacher. So not a real job. Oh, there's a real one. I was also a voice teacher. So I understand how the vocal mechanism works. So I was able to train my voice to sound like this now.

So how are you doing 5,000 hours a month? By the way, thank you. That's a compliment. What? About my voice. Well, yeah, I mean, you're imitating like a biological woman. Yeah. So I thought, you know, maybe you were doing something.

No surgery, though. No surgery on that. That's the surgery you can do? Yeah. Oh, my goodness. Vocal feminization, VFS, they call it. Highly against that. It's extremely dangerous. Well, then, yeah, probably shouldn't do that. Yeah.

Okay, this episode is not about trans. This way would you think. However, it just, okay, rabbit holes. Listen, you thought you made $3,400 a month, but you make $4,900 a month. How the fuck were you so wrong? How can you pay bills? How can you even pay bills if you're off by that much? I put everything on my Apple card and then paid off at the end of the week.

The end of the week? Yep. But that's not, no. If you think you make $1,500 less than you make, how are you even surviving? How are you budgeting? How are you existing? How are you doing anything whatsoever? I mean, like I said.

Okay, what was your outflow? I have your inflow is $5,000. What was your outflow? Oh, gosh. Just this last month? Yes. Well, this is Christmas. $2,500.

What the fuck is wrong with you? It was $9,307. How can you be that wildly off? What are you talking about? What is wrong with you? I don't know. I thought I understood it. See, this is what people say.

This is why you're here. This is why I'm here. Sure. But I need to need to. know a little bit about where you're coming from, how your life is now, how your mentality is now, or else we can't fix anything? How the fuck were you that far off? In your own assessment, what do you think? Going back to last month, you're looking, you thought it was 2000 something. How? How, how, how, how were you there? Just because I was thinking about Christmas gifts.

So you thought it was only 2000, your entire spending for everything? What's your rent? So rent is altogether 1650? So how the fuck do you think you only spent 2000? You think everything else in your life was only $400 more, $500, $600, $600 more? Sure, sure, okay. I got you. Oh. I was not, sorry, I wasn't following my question. I was not following.

Broken. Okay. So I spent $9,000 last month. Oh, my God. Yes, I agree. That's crazy. What's crazier is that you think you only spend $500 more than your rent for all of your expenses combined outside of that, including any kind of fun you did, health,

care that you do co-pays, trips, gas, food, electricity, internet, gas for driving. All of the electricity internet, all of that is bundled in with money. Okay, but the fact is you thought you only spent $400 more than your rent. What the fuck are you talking about? What does it look like right now the way you do your finances, please? Well, since I started watching your show, I downloaded the dollar. wise budgeting app. Yes, it's a good start.

So tell me, what are you doing? What this things look like? You clearly not using it if you thought you only spent $2,500 last month. No, I haven't. What the fuck are you talking about? You're right. Like I said, I am just paying everything off my Apple card at the end. Is that it?

That's what your entire life looks like. That's how you can define your entire financial life. I pay off my Apple card. That's it. Nothing else exists. You can't tell me a single thing outside of that? What is wrong with you? How can you not, you know you're on a podcast, right?

Yes. How can you tell me what the fuck is going on? There has to be more in your life other than you pay on a credit card in that, uh-oh, I got tits. Congratulations. Can only take you so far in life. But I like them. Close.

Not perfect. Almost there. Good. Well done. But you don't like them. I don't care. One, they're fake. And two.

And? Huh? And? I just, I wouldn't. do it because it's hard when it doesn't get naturally wet and also does it look like it? I'm talking about my boobs doesn't talk about it. It's like yeah, but if I'm interested

in the boobs in other way, it means we're going in other directions. So it's like, do I want to go to the full package? Probably not. So, I mean, is this, you know? Huh? Do you have you? Do you even know? Does your vagina get naturally wet? Yes, it does. No. How? Because I did a surgery

that, um, a different kind of like procedure. It's called Oh, what? Oh, does it look like a vagina? I think so. With all the rose beef and folds and everything? And it's the same feeling. Has everyone said it feels the same?

I haven't had any complaints. Okay, yeah, but do they say it feels the same? I guess, yeah. I mean, I don't... Wow, this is crazy. No, that's impressive. Congratulations. Congratulations.

I'm trying to think. Then you're right. Of what it was called. My logic was flawed. I only don't like them. because they're fake. Fair, but there's different like procedures that you can get like how you can get it. Like you can get it with no

depth whatsoever and more like aesthetic from the outside instead of depth of that. Okay, okay. Well, stop taking me down to transribal hole. You are more than that. That can not be the most the only interesting thing in your life. No, I appreciate you saying that. Exactly, yeah, you are not able to give me anything beyond that. The moment something transrelated comes up, you're able to talk like crazy. But I don't ask anything about your finances or say, I pay off my app. Give me something. I need to know what your life looks like, dude.

It's because... Chick. You can say whatever. Dude is gender neutral in my. Yeah, I know. So is bro. It's fun. Especially at this point.

Especially at this point. Uh-huh. Go on. I was really thrown off by the finances thing. I thought I made more than that. What? That you made more? No, you told me you made less.

Well, no. That's what I... You do make more than you said. Yeah, I was... You not know that yet? I was just going by... I have clarified that you do make about $1,500 more than you thought. Are you, have you not caught up to that yet?

I'm caught up, yeah. Are you sure? Oh, how do I get through this? Okay. Well, so why'd you go to Minneapolis? That's where I was born. Okay. So, born and raised Minneapolis, moved up to Fargo for college.

Okay, why don't you just recently? Okay, why don't you be something? A trans daycare? You'll make an infinite amount of money, and no one in Minnesota will look into you. Well, now in Minnesota. Yeah, good, yeah, that's fair. Were you not able to follow along on that either? No, I was.

I was. You know that's happening right now. I said it's fair. Yeah, 30 seconds later. I'm also white. Not Somalian. But trans, it counts. Yeah.

Yeah. But Somalian's a hot thing right now. I don't know about superior. In Minnesota. Yeah, it's fair. It's blue, but. It's not just, okay. Oh, my gosh.

I swear. You are, oh, you are. How do people have conversations with you? It's good question. I'm very controversial on a lot of things I don't think so because you're not able to speak you don't think so? No! You are not conversational. You're impossible to have a conversation with.

Besides the budgeting thing, I've been answering your questions. This is financial audit. I need a little bit on the money. I know, I know. You got to give me some information. So I can go into these numbers with any kind of knowledge. Right, but this is what I'm doing. like pay what I said about the apple card put everything on Apple card and paid off

like I saw part of your thing was like to make an Excel spreadsheet and like put what you would pay for each of those things down okay listen again I'm glad you want to talk about trans I don't really give a f-you've peaked my interest a couple times on the vagina thing especially because that's just like one we love vaginas here two

I think a lot of people are curious. Didn't you say a lot of people, or at one of your last shows that you were thinking that you were by at one point? Yeah, a long time ago. How did that? What sparked that? Experience with young. Okay. I'm asking the questions, though, because you're on my podcast. Thanks for being here. I was just curious when I heard that. I was like, oh, okay. Musician. Oh, for fuck sake. Okay, so if a trans part is a big part of your life, let me bring that to finances. Obviously, we're trying to budget in some future operations. What are some things you're trying to do?

This is a question I tried to ask earlier that you could not answer. Let's see if you can get to it this time. What is it going to cost? What are some things you're trying to do in the near future that we need to budget towards? So I, as a transsexual, want more surgeries. We know that. I'm trying to ask you what they are. I just established that for you.

I want to get a second round of facial feminization surgery. Okay. So what are you going to do? I want to go to Turkey and get my face cut up again. Yeah, but what are you trying to do to Turkey? So you have to fly it at Turkey. Well, Turkey is... What are they going to do?

Like, what's going to happen? Well, I want to get... Well, you've noticed the Angrier... Yeah, you have a man job. Yeah, exactly. I want to get rid of more of that. Even though I already, like you saw before. Man jaws are hard to get rid of.

I know. They're very manly. And then I also want to get more of a Barbie nose. Turn to your side. To my side. Yes, turn to your side. Let me look at you. You have a good nose.

What the fuck is wrong with you? Not good enough. Oh, my goodness. Okay. Also, I want to get a VVL in Turkey. All right, give us a twirl. Give you a twirl. Yeah, give us a twirl.

I'm objectifying you right now. Come on. Yeah, I see that. Well, I came on this show, I guess, for that. Yeah, you need one. Okay, sit down. Yes, okay, I got it. I was embarrassing at all.

Huh? Okay, so what is this BVL going to cost? The obviously crucial one here, because your ass is a sad excuse. Yeah, I know. Thank you. It's going to cost like 23, 25. 25 what?

Thousand. The nose one, f***. You have a good nose. The jaw one. Thank you. That's 13. Because you look like a man. That's 13. Oh.

So what does that get us to? About 40? Yeah, around there. 40,000? For your income? That's crazy. How are you paying for that? Because no insurance, right?

That's out of pocket. That's out of pocket. What are you paying for that? I mean, I haven't paid for it yet, but I want to. No shit. I'm asking how are you paying? The answer to how are you doing this isn't I haven't done it yet. What is wrong with you?

You can. You've never been on a podcast. I have. What? What? Because no one who comes on the show has ever been on a podcast. You're telling me you've been on a podcast and somehow you are like this? Yeah.

I mean, yeah, I guess. What podcasts have you been on? I've been on a podcast with some friends. Uh-huh. There it is. A lot in the trans community. Uh-huh. Okay.

So very good. They're my friends. How do you? Okay. Well, I said friends. And then you're like, uh-huh. And I'm like, yeah. No, that explains why you haven't actually done any real podcast.

Oh, right. Not something as popular as this. No. You got there. You figured it out. Yeah. I had to explain, but you did it. All by yourself.

Okay. So. I just, I really just didn't want to, I wanted to come on here because I didn't want you to put me in the same category as all these other trans people that come on here. I don't put people in categories. I'm putting you in the category because you're literally. I haven't put anyone in any category. Usually it's financial fuck up. What category am I putting them in?

So this is financial what? Huh? So this is financial not fuck up. What category have I put them in? Like trans people? You just said I put them on. You just said I put them all in a category. And you don't want me to put them in the same category.

What category have I put them in? Oh, okay, I got to. We got there. We got there. You taught it a school. I know. I taught children. Music, though.

What category? Of Libtarded trans. I don't believe that I've done that, but okay. This is from what I've seen. I'm not putting you in Lib Tartan. I'm putting you in... Thank you. I've already established that.

Thank you. No, I know. I could see that. I could see it. You said this place was steps from the water. We just haven't found the steps yet. How much did we save? Enough. Enough to get lost.

Or you could book a stay with Hilton. Welcome to your ocean front room. Just steps from the water. The Hilton sale is on now. Book on Hilton.com or the Hilton app and save up to 20% to get the stay you expected. When you want savings, not surprises. It matters where you stay.

Hilton for this day. Yeah. Buddy. Back to Turkey. And then flights and hotel. Yes. And food. Yes, it's expensive.

So how did you plan on paying for this? When the only thing you could tell me what your financial life is, I put money on my apple cart and I pay it off. So how do you plan on paying for it? Please, please, please, please. Hopefully budgeting when I figure this out. So no plan. So no plan.

No. How do you plan on figuring this out? then. Because you said planning on budgeting after you figure this out. How did you plan on figuring this out? Taking the extra money that I don't use from what I, when I get paid. Okay. Reminder. 9,000 went out, 5,000 came in. So correct that. So how do you plan on doing that? 9,000 usually doesn't come out though. That's not normal. What did you just say? 9,000 doesn't usually come out every month. How do you know that? You thought you made $1,500 less than you do?

you thought you spent $500 more than your rent. How can you say $9,000 doesn't usually go out? How can you possibly say that? How can you be a reliable narrator for that in any way whatsoever? Please, inform me. I can see her coming from, however, I don't, I've never, I don't think I've seen that, like, as a summary in my bank statement. Like, that never really threw me off.

Okay, and you get some extra money being a professional singer as well, right? So that'll help. Yeah. Tell me about that. I mean, people hire me for funerals, weddings. Uh-huh. Yeah. Tell me about that.

And like how much I make? Yeah, because I just said you make money doing that, and then I said, tell me about that, and then you didn't tell me about that. Because you are certified actually. I believe we uploaded before we uploaded you, financial audits most. unfortunately, they have already been superseded. Now I'm rubbing off. It's rubbing off.

At least it's not the trans thing. That's not rubbing off, is it? No, I've never had a desire to be a woman. Thank God. Good for you. That must be nice. It is, I think, I guess. It be nice to be comfortable on your own skin.

Okay. Well, why'd you freak out and go all woman? My dysphoria? Yeah. Having gender dysphoria from a young age? Uh-huh. How do I? Because we're getting a lot of people, surprisingly, even on Lib talk,

that are saying, like, why are all my trans friends detransitioning? Yes, because they transitioned for the wrong reasons. What reason was that? Exactly. What reason is it? Mine, I can speak to because I had gender dysphoria from childhood. And what was their reason? Who de-transitioned? Well, because they transitioned because their friends did,

and it was the social thing because of trans TikTok and trans-trenders. Okay. And that's why I wanted to be different. Oh, is she making this side gig of singing? Oh, that's not that consistent, but it's like $300,500. Sing me a song. What song? I like Sabrina Carpenter.

Okay. So just... Please, please, please, please don't prove I'm wrong. Can I even do that? Like copyright? I don't know. Keep going. That's the only one I could think of at the moment.

at the moment. There's more to that song. I know. Sing something else you know. One thing. My ego's another. I'm begging you don't amiss me. Mother.

And what do you make from that? That $3,500. Depending on how many songs? For what kind of events? Funerals? That happens at a funeral? No, not Sabrina Carpenter of Funerals. No.

It's more like... Ave Maria? Yes. Oh, you want me sing Ave Maria? Yeah. Gratia Flana. Maria, gratia plan. Maria, gratia planar.

What's what the weird pauses? Probably not getting the right breath control. I'm nervous. It's like when your tone breaks up, you all of a sudden... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. People pay for that.

Well, it's, okay. Flaws and all. Usually I'm better warmed up than I wasn't expecting to sing. Okay. So we can't. I really wasn't. We can't put any projected income on that? I wouldn't know.

It's more of a side thing. It's not consistent. So men? Straight men? Yeah. Yes. I have to ask the curious questions in between here and there. Yes.

Keep my curiosity going. Yeah. How often does a straight man uniquely fuck you? How often? Like someone who's not coming back for seconds. It's usually, I don't continue it. So how often does a unique person, like... A unique person.

I don't... Like someone that you haven't slept with. How frequently do you... A straight guy. Straight, not by. Not gay. No, I prefer straight men. I know you do.

Not a lot. Not like frequently. Not like two to three a month. So one to two? Sure. Okay. Good. Good for them.

And they do it. No questions. No flaws? No. They're not even like curious. Not usually. Do they know? Yes.

Oh, yes. And they want that. Consent, yeah. Yes. Because I'm not about... Enden? All right. He would.

Congratulations. We'll get you guys a room. Oh, my God. Afterwards. I'm not about not disclosing, because I'm not about... And would you give him a wood? Absolutely. That's why I have this.

Cherry Sleshy. Because he recommended that one. It is very good. It is good. Okay, good. We got the taken care of. Well done. Let me know how it is.

I'm genuinely curious. Oh, God. None of us have, like, experienced that before, so. Yeah, you're a pioneer. Okay, very good. What do you think your financial score is zero to ten? Zero being the worst, ten being the best. Zero.

All right, if you want your financial score, take the assessment at Calebhammer.com. It is free and it just takes a few minutes to see where you stand in the world of money, where you need to do better, where you're doing really well already, and what you need to do to improve Calebhammer.com. And if you don't want to be like a guess who ends up on this show, one, don't transition two.

Download the dollar-wise budgeting app. Take the free trial to see if you like. A new feature is being added every single month. At the time of this being uploaded, by the way, our whole new refresh. All bunch of new features should be added. And most people take the annual version once the free trial ends because it saves a lot of money,

like 50%. And you get my budget friendly cookbook signed by me mailed directly to you. Check that out. All those links are in the description below. Let's jump into these numbers. Oh my goodness, you have... Wishing you could be there live for the big game, soaking up the atmosphere in the crowd.

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Actual prices may vary, limited time offer. I have an only So we need to add that income too No, no, no, no No, no. Not, it's not significant. It's peanuts.

Oh. Like $7, $14. Oh. It's not significant. Okay. But can I add the singing? Do you get a gig a month on average? No, I just do manager income.

Okay. I'll do just manager. come. Well, look what's on top. The infamous Applecard, the only thing you know about your life. Yes. Outside of you being trans. Yes. Because that's what you've wrapped your entire world around the entirety of your life. No, I don't say that. Well, you're literally able to talk about nothing outside of it. No, that's just... About you. Well, not, well... Gotcha, bitch. Yes. Not really. Yes. Talked about how I'm a singer and it was a teacher. Oh, I mean, Colton told me you're also trying to budget and becoming a buying a shit and a

equipment to become a Twitch streamer. I did do. I did. You already did? Yeah. But he says, but but but but also you have to buy a new computer. Why? So we have to budget in 40,000 hours for this trip and then you're going to get, you're going to get all this equipment to do Twitch?

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I got about, I don't know, about $2,000, $3,000 for that. That's more realistic than the whole surgery thing on the horizon. Yeah, but I don't understand. If you're spending more money than you make, well, so is the surgery happening or not? Because, listen, I'll budget for whatever people want to do. When people have bad reasons for leaving the country, I still will make a plan for them to do it. if you're budging to get a chin and a butt or no chin and a butt, I will do it. But is it happening or not?

You tell me. Yeah, it's going to happen. Okay, so we're doing that. But this doesn't make sense if all of a sudden, we have to upgrade our gaming equipment. We have to do this. It doesn't get there. But I'm thinking in terms of the fact that it's a smaller amount, therefore that's going to come before the surgery.

But that takes, but every amount saved to get to the surgery gets immediately drained every time we hit these little goals along the way. Right. So you don't ever get to the big goal. So that doesn't make sense. That's more important. Twitch or butt? Well, that's a good question.

More important or... Because then if I did Twitch, I could make more money. He just told... Yeah, okay, maybe. You know what? You ain't no... Sinna, my new crush. I love Sina.

Can I just say? She's like, my goodness, I'm obsessed. Who? Like, who! And Pockeman, also my wife? Oh my goodness. Those two, listen, I just, both of them, I'm proposing to both of you right now. Okay.

Interesting. But take them, girl. I know. I haven't started. You said you did in the past. I know, but like, good minds are- I mean, Colton tell me you literally sleep in your living room so that you can make your bedroom, your Twitch room.

Yes. So clearly you're prioritizing that. I am. I don't think you're going to make money, though. I mean, Brandon and Tyler do pretty well because they have the connection to this show on their Twitches. They still don't make, like, money. Like, live-able.

money. Money that will go towards goals. It's like extra help. Brandon does Twitch. Yes. And he actually has a platform unlike you. That's true. That's true. And he still does just halfway decent. It's more like passion. I assume. Yeah.

Like 500 bucks a month. What he's getting? Yeah. He can quantify it and put it. But he's grinding on it. Like most every day. And you just see, and then this makes no sense. Because you can't start your 401K. so you have to spend on your hobbies.

And then you just paid $8,000 for laser hair removal. So how do we ever get to these goals if you're just blowing thousands on bullshit along the way? This doesn't make sense. It's not bullshit. How'd you pay for $8,000? It's not bullshit. Depending.

If you're trying to get to the big goal, anything that is a want that takes us away from that big goal is bullshit in my head. You had to do the $8,000 for laser hair? Yeah. Why? Shave. No, no, no. Laser hair is great.

Trust me. Oh, I funded it for my girlfriend. Don't get me wrong. Right. So, But you're trying to get to the butt. You're trying to get to the no chin. But electrolysis, okay, so before I could have my bottom surgery, I had to get electrolysis.

So I had to get all the hair moved. Oh, for, how'd you even buy that? How'd you afford that, $8,000? This makes no sense. Well, that was part of the- 401K? Yeah. 4-1K, so are retirement's gone for the sake of not having hair?

Yeah. So I could have the bottom surgery. The things we do. Was it big? Oh, God. I don't know. I don't think so, no. Oh, okay, then it's fine.

Wasn't benefiting the world. Okay. Wasn't contributing much. What? You're offended by the thing you wanted to get rid of? I just never thought of it in that way. So it's just kind of like, what? Dude, you got to do some math in the end.

Everything's quantifiable. Yeah, but I never thought of it as impacting the world. Get over it. Well, sure, I guess. I don't know. I just never thought of it that way. Never measured it? No, no, no, God, no.

You looked at it and went you? Yes, exactly. It makes you uncomfortable, yes. You never jacked off? No. Whoa. Mark just freaked out. He is the, he jacks off like a professional.

Oh my God. Yeah. That's, yeah. I've never thought of it in the way that you think is. Okay, so I can see that feeling like an emergency to pull your 401K out. I can see why it feels that way. See, this was more of an emergency than getting a bigger. I can understand.

You looked at your and you vomited. You know, I can't relate, but I look at mine and I come. That's okay. I'm easy. All right. Did not know that about you. After all these episodes, I should have known these things. Oh, now you know, now you know.

Now everyone knows. I just look at it. Oh, just did it. I'm an easy one. All right. Okay. Apple card. So this is usually where I ask, what's going on here?

But the answer is going to be, I put money on it and I pay it off. Is there anything else down? Okay. That's it. I charge it and I pay it off the end of the week. You pay it off every single time. So it never accrues interest. Yes, because the interest is pretty high.

Oh, my goodness. The spending it on here is insane. Oh, my absolute. Goodness. what are you doing? What are you doing? That's a lie. You had a thousand hours in interest charged. You're a liar. You don't know what you're doing. There's a thousand hours in interest charged.

Almost rounded up. What the fuck are you talking about paid off every week? No, you do not. No, you absolutely do not. So I am marking this as a debt. You f***, moron. You couldn't tell me how much money you make. You couldn't tell me how much money you spent. Now you're going to tell me that you pay this off every week while you've accrued $1,000 in interest for 2025? No. Fuck you. This makes no sense. You have no idea what you're doing.

You're confused on your gender. You're confused on your numbers. You're confused on everything. And I love that for you, except for the numbers part. You love that for me? Oh, thank you. The gender, be confused. It's okay.

Yeah. Or dysphoric or whatever it is, right? Yeah. Well, I mean, yes, gender dysphoria. You had someone on here that had yellow hair. that said dysmorphia? Great real tits. Were they great?

Because they wanted bigger ones. No. One of them lifted. Because those things had gravity. Okay. Interesting. Okay. You could only dream. It's true. So $25 minimum payment with a balance of $2,159.

And $32 to pay off if we make minimum payment only. And I know you put more than that, but then you spend more and then interest occurs. I think you just don't put enough towards it to actually pay it off like the way you think you do. And then interest accrues like crazy. And I know you spend money like crazy. I'm being told right now you bought four new outfits for this show. I did. For this filming.

I did. We don't do multiple outfits. You wear one. I know. You have never seen anyone change in the show's history. I know. And it was just because I wasn't sure what I want to do. And then, you know, what the best part is?

And this is sarcasm. I'm not wearing any of the outfits that I bought. You're... Why? Why? Why? Because it's just what I thought I was going to like when I put it on and I didn't. See, you spent uncontrolled B.

You got a 100-inch TV for your living room. Yeah. What is wrong with you? You go absolutely crazy. You buy for your Instagram, for how it is, for everything. And then this is on this credit card that is a Korean interest like crazy, you are pages of spending. You're uncontrollable. Your financial life is to define.

I spend on an application. trying to pay off. No, you don't, you dumb, broad. I can say that. See, I'm being, I'm being, uh, I'm being good. Yeah, you're being a good guy. You could say worse things too. She's a, she's a broad.

She's a, she's a, she's a, she's a, she's a, what are another woman name? Keep going. Slot, hoar, ho. There you go. We got any other bangers for women? You're missing the obvious one. You're missing the obvious one.

For women? No. Well, I'm doing the women thing because I'm, I'm being, I'm being, uh, appropriate to your identification. There's another one? Yeah. What is it?

I don't know. I thought I was an expert in slurs. I say them in my sleep. What is the good slur? The one that you started off saying that you weren't going to say. Oh, I'm not going to say the F word. I'm not rude like that. Okay.

Usually. That's fine. Usually. Because I don't say it to real ones. I just say it to my friends when they're acting like. We did it. We got there. so proud of you.

But I'm great. Fantastic. I'm so glad we got there. But I would never call you that. Thank you. I would never call Tyler Boy.

I would never. I would never call Colton Gay. No, I don't. You are, but I don't. It's still saying it. I know. It's terrible. Starbucks.

Starbucks. So you already work at a store. Just make your coffee at home. Make your coffee. That one right there, the energy drink? You're not buying energy drinks. If you buy energy drinks, you're retarded. You, well, we already know you are, but that's okay.

Gamersups, you are getting gamer subs. Those are the free samples. You can get the free samples right now. Use code Caleb at gmarsups. Links in the description below. But also it's 40 cents a serving. You're making it at home. You're making coffee at home.

Why are you buying at Starbucks? It's so stupid. Starbucks, Starbucks, Starbucks, Southwest. Culvers. Chipotle. Pop Mart. Popmart for what? Oh, you're loboo-boing.

You're boo-boing. Why are you... You're past the trend. La-bobobobo's done. I know. This is not new. Lobo's done. Transitioning's done.

You're past the trend. That was all COVID, girl. I know. How much pop-mart's on there? Well, there's one. And then pop-up, Murphys. And, oh, Pop-Mart, Pop-Mart, Pop-Mart. What are you doing?

What is wrong with you? It is not funny. It is not cute. You're a fuck up your life. What is wrong with you? You don't know how to manage your finances. You think you're not paying interest on here, but you are. And then you're spending out.

LaBo! Trans-la-bobs! Trans-lo-bobs? Why? You're throwing everything away for Pop-Mar. What the fuck is wrong with you? I was originally given a bunch of Lubu-Boo's because I made fun of it with the people that I worked with. They gave it to me, like, as a gift.

And I was like, oh, no, I can't make fun of it. And then I got them stolen, so I had to rebuy them. A gift? You didn't have to rebuy a gift. This is gone. The gift's gone. I know. I didn't.

And I wanted to have that still. Well, fuck. Don't you want to... First of all, you already took from your retirement. We need to get your retirement caught up. Because even if you're trans, you still got to retire. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I know.

Like, you don't get to not retire anymore. Right. I mean, I don't know. Minnesota might give you an endless, like, amount of money for the rest of your life because you're trans. Who knows? Maybe that'll happen at retirement. but

Let's rely that doesn't happen Let's rely on that not happening You need to retire You pulled it to return me You think you're going to pop part every five seconds your life Would you are you are you

What's wrong with you Starbucks again Going in getting some bullshit Amazon No tequitos though Other page No tequila You're in Minnesota

They don't have tequitos Starbucks I don't know I don't care Okay I was like what Nail spa Let me see Dude that's rough Is it? Oh my God, no.

That's bad times. Why? Because those are like glue-ons. They're not. They're real. Oh, no. You got scammed. Oh my gosh, I can't tell my name, lady. It's because you got the wrong minorities.

See, we got the Asians here, and they do it great. You went to the Somalians. Netflix, Amazon, Amazon, Kickoff, Inc. Thank you to you. Huh? Thanks to you. Oh, let's kickoff. Okay.

Use your code and everything. Well, that's good. Apple Bill. I mean, it works. It does. Uber, Southside News. What is that? You can pay for it.

You better know what it is. Yeah, I don't know what that is. Southside News. You've done fraud? What is it? I don't know. Oh, my goodness. What is it wrong with you?

You literally probably have a subscription to it. every single month for nine bucks. Is it from New York? I don't know. What the fuck what I know? What is wrong with you? How would I know that? I don't know.

Uber. Yeah, it sounds like New York. Yeah, it sounds like New York. Yeah. Oh, you went to New York? New York. Why did you go to New York? You're trying to go to Afghanistan or something.

Afghan, Turkey. One of those, yeah. I have to go to New York for post-stop follow-up doctor's appointment. To observe? Yes. Okay. It's part of the process. I mean, you have this a follow-up post up.

Dude! You're telling me, Minneapolis doesn't do trans surgeries out of all cities? They do, but... It's Minneapolis! They do, but not where I went. I went to New York. Well, I know that. To get the best of the best.

Shout out to NYU. How much does that cost? Yes, that's... Yeah. How much of that costs me? Oh, gosh. But then you have the travel and food. Look what you're doing while you're there.

Yeah. Yeah. I have no idea. 15. Amazon, Papa Murphy's. Vid IQ, you pay for Vid IQ? You pay for Vid IQ? Who the fuck pays for Vid IQ?

There's a guy that I was seeing that was helping me edit my videos when I was doing YouTube. You were seeing him for his skills? No, no, no. That was just on the side. Let me see what this man looked like. I need to see what someone looks like that. Sticks it in.

I don't have it. You don't know who he is? I blocked him. I can pull him up. But I don't remember, like... You don't know his name? You do not know the name of your ex. I do.

Good, give it to me. But I don't know his, like, Instagram. Dude, it should just be his fucking name. No? No, it's not. No, no, no. His name is not his name. Not on Instagram?

Search his name. See if it exists. Search it! I know you can type even with gluons. Oh my gosh, that's so... I'm so offended by that. You should be offended that you paid so much for it. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, it is expensive. So you'd pick Brandon over me? Yeah. Sorry. Damn. I'm getting cooked. I can't. I can't buy it.

Getting cooked. I mean, you are attractive. No. Fet free, oh God, thank you for having the beard back. When you shaved that. It was an accident. It was a terrible accident. It was terrible.

We're delayed by a month. It was an accident. I trimmed wrong, and then at that point I had to commit. I mean, you didn't have to. No, I had to. Was it that bad? Yes. Worst in being a baby face.

Well, the baby face only exists for a couple days. Goes away quick with stubble. Okay, I wouldn't know. More pop-mart. Apple bill, Apple Bell, Pop Mart, Dollar Tree, not as good as dollar was. You spend money there. Dollar Tree?

What? I can't remember what that was for. I don't trust you to remember anything. That's why I'm no longer asking questions. Okay. Amazon, Apple, Bill, total wine and more. Is that why you're all f***ed up? No, I promise.

Best Buy, Best Buy. That was for Thanksgiving. That was for Thanksgiving. Best Buy was for Thanksgiving where you bought $2,000? Wine. Okay, what about the 2000 for Best Y? That was a TV. Oh my goodness.

Yeah. You can't afford that. Apple Bill, pull up your phone. There is no one's photos folder. I'm going to further avoid the nears. To the Apple card? I'm going to snoop around on your phone just not your photos

Sorry sorry Free Be gonna mean that in the Transway Don't cancel me Eh I've been much worse No I mean I don't care what people do I really don't

People okay here it is I've never seen more subscriptions On someone's phone than this Really Really Airbrush Catfish and everyone For $35 a month

What is wrong with you? A month No no Okay okay annual, but still, catfishing everyone. Social media. Social media. Yeah, catfish. Apple TV, it is one of the better ones. You still can't

probably afford it. And then you got Face app. More catfishing. You have to double catfish? What's wrong with you? You pay for Gmail? What the fuck? I use Gmail every second in my life. I don't pay for it. Do I? Not on my phone, at least. You pay for... Is that annual too? You got GROC. I called Plus.

I know it's expiring. I didn't mean to. Notably? Yep. For work. you pay for X Paramount Plus out of all come on Paramount Plus sucks Why you?

And you do have Hammerleet the best membership on YouTube number one for a reason because we got three premium incredible high quality shows posted every single day Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday Friday, Saturday including the post show

for this episode and you like it, right? Oh, love it. It's so good. It's this why I'm so gagged. It is top tier. It is the absolute best. Yes, you're gagged but I promise you will not be getting gagged

we'll hear it with anything. I assume he doesn't. doesn't want to. I think he gave a thumbs up for niceties. And then he got premium. Okay. Oh my goodness. Look at you. You got 15 snaps to reply. How many people are you sliding in?

Did you got people every second of your... Look at this. What are you doing? Popular. Okay. It's not there. What were you looking up? There. Well, no, that's not downloaded either.

What were you looking up? Wait, where are you meeting people? Bumble. No. Yeah. No. You don't have anything downloaded, not even Grindr. Where are you meeting people? In person. Where? At protests? Oh, God, no. I thought you knew me better by now. Where are you meeting people? Not going to protests. And Instagram. Ah, now that she said it, I know. Oh, yeah, this fatty's trying to get in you. Adrian, you're not going to land that nut. Sorry, guy. Okay, but in person where?

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Okay, so there's seven things. Oh, so they have to get drunk first. No, no, no. I said consent first. I hope so. I know Minnesota and Wisconsin are drinking states. Okay, so you got... Sure.

In the cart, you have some eye wearing. Is that what that was? I was wondering what you were doing. Yes, it's your sleep mask. And then ink cartridges, a very expensive desk. Oh, multiple desks. You're considering a lot. A 49-inch, like, triple-wide monitor.

It's kind of crazy. It is. It is, yeah. Yeah, you're not buying this shit. Unless that's what you're prioritizing, but we just can't do the rest. Okay, you just ordered some ink, some pens, some, something's delivered today. They can't even figure that out. Utensile trays, gardening

knee pads. I'm sure you get on your knees a lot. Sharpie, retractable, permanent markers, and other computer. You just got a computer desk, literally a couple weeks ago. Yeah, that's for the living room. Why are you looking for another when you need a desk for a living room and bedroom? Because one's for the gaming setup.

No one's not. I hate you. Laptop sleeve cover. You get more pens than anyone I've ever It's for work. At the coffee. shop? Mm-hmm.

You just got a pop-up from only... What? It's a posting reminder. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I got to... You haven't posted since... It says 22 days. Yeah.

22 days. So I'm not active on it. Okay, and then canceled, then HR pharma, one-shot sterile lubrication. Something for what? What is that? That's what you have to... You have to inject that so that you cream?

Not inject it. It's... You put it on the dilator. and then it's... So you don't get wet? No, you do. But it's... But you have to put

something in there to get wet. Yeah, because it's a surgical equipment. But you don't get wet. Your body naturally. Yes, it does. What? Then what's this for? But you need more.

You need more lubrication. For sure. It's because it's a medical instrument. So you don't get wet enough. Not for a medical device. Oh. Why are you getting so many of these? Because you got a couple.

I have to go through it. For what? What is this? So, when you're a medical device? So, when you're getting so. So once you get the surgery down there, you have to dilate. Yeah, bottom of surgery. You have to dilate how often?

Twice a day. For why? Forever? Yeah, to keep... No, not forever. No, no. For the first year. For the first year.

For what? To keep the surgery from closing. It'll close? For the first year. It'll close. Your vagina will close? The body treats it like an open wound for the first year. Do you have a clit?

Yeah. And that was... The tip. Whoa. Yeah. Whoa. That's crazy. Yeah.

Your tip is now your clip. Yeah. Definitely not as much sensation as a clip. Probably. I mean... No, not even close. I can't speak to that. Well, just nerve endings.

It's not even close. Right. Okay, so who here is trying to slide in your DMs? Ryan, is he? No. Allie? No, these are all just friends from work. If you want to land a high-paying job,

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Let's see what D.W said. So fine. Where are you filming? Oh my goodness. Dude, I'm telling you. Listen, if you want to. a hot guy. Just fucking position.

He is really cute. Yeah, Colton would do so many bottoms. Wow. Do so many bottoms. Okay, I understand. Jeez. So are you sure you would be able to hold down

a live stream? Because, again, you're kind of you're not able to have a conversation. I guess not. I thought I could. No. Sure. No.

Really? Have you listened to your this conversation? It seemed that. I don't know. I feel like I've normally been able to do it. Okay, so what did you finance for $9,000 with a finance charge of additional

$9,22? Oh, is that the upstart? Is it? You tell me, okay, what'd you do, upstart? Oh, my God, the upstart. Why, what, when, how? Please try. Oh, God. That's back right before COVID? No.

During COVID? Yes. 201? No, 24. October 24. Oh, oh. A year and a couple months ago. Gotcha.

Yes. That one was to cover the other one that I had during COVID. You said it only cost a couple thousand dollars. This is already nine. Right, but I took out that one to cover what I had left of the other one. Oh, what other one? The one that I had before. Oh, the other upstart loan?

Yeah. You took out a $9,000 an upstart loan to pay off an upstart loan. Yeah. You're giving them endless interest forever. Well, yeah. You're paying for their entire company, their entire headquarters, funded by you. Just me. Just me. Yes.

It was to pay off LASIC and the credit card that I had before. LASIC. Why'd you have to do LASIC? Because I don't want our glasses. You don't want, exactly. Wants. You didn't have to do that. What's more important?

But sheiks or LASIC. Okay. LASIC was very important. What, you're telling me that's not a valid question in this conversation. That's true. Yeah, it's true. I wanted to not have to wear glasses because I can't do contacts. Oh, that's why you did Lysik.

Who would have thought? Yeah, that's why it was important. Shut the fuck up. I don't know what the balance on this now is because that interest is going to be accruing throughout. I don't know. I assume it hasn't gone anywhere. No, doubt it. Probably not.

Plus a prepaid finance charge so that principal became 10. I'll mark it at 9. I highly doubt it's that low yet, but it's a monthly payment of 304. Yep. 30404. Yeah.

Yeah, that's going to stack. And what was your original upstart for in 2021, I'm being told? In 2021, the original upstart, I think, was like $12,000. Oh, my goodness. What was it for?

Oh, why did you take it out? I told us that's what it was for. The LASIC paying off mid, yeah, the debit card. I was the $1 that time. Yes. It is spreading. Hopefully it doesn't go over there. You're wearing old women perfume.

Oh, no. I'm so offended by that. Oh, my goodness. Do your parents support your lifestyle? Yeah. Okay. Well, that's good. It is. Why do you owe them $40,000? That's insanity. That is crazy. What the fuck?

That has to be one of the largest parent loans we've ever had, right? That's crazy. $40,000 for what? They helped. pay my first breast augmentation. No, no, no. Then you lied at the beginning of the conversation. You literally told me the surgery is out of pocket for you you have only cost a few thousand dollars.

Yes, for the ones that I currently have right now, but the ones before. You had previous boobs? Yes. What? And so you owe them $40,000 for boobs that don't even exist? Okay, the $40,000 wasn't all for that. That other part is student loans as well. So they paid off my student loans and then that first surgery.

Oh, my goodness. You went to school for what? Ah, good question. Music started. Vocal performance, like opera. Realized what I was in? Maria was with actual training that happened at a university? Yeah, from a while ago.

Oh my God, you're totally not giving me. Oh, my God. You should see my Instagram where it's actually like I'm ready to sing. No. Well, okay, whatever. Vocal performance. And then after that, I went to live audio, like, working on the stages and stuff.

And then behind the scenes, like music industry. Yeah, yeah, this is before I transition. When did you transition? Or 2019. Okay, so you were on stage. Well, back, back, audio, background. Yeah, okay, good, then.

So I went all around the music department at school. Like every single thing you could do. And did you graduate? I did graduate. Oh, and what? Music education. It was music education. Yeah.

With the elementary school. Yep. high school for a year before I transition but choir choir because you were a band the least interesting of

oh no I loved choir well yeah you're gay yeah but you like the band which is why I thought I was by I'm not because of band

I like vagina regular ones you don't know that I don't know I haven't experienced I haven't experimented in my girlfriend doesn't have one, so I guess I won't. Sure. She just has the normal.

Vagina classic, we call them. No, it's just vagina. Not a neo-vigina. Vigna classic, natural, no monthly injections for that one. Monthly, it's weekly. Oh, for f***ing. You have to buy it twice a month. Okay, okay, so the parents, now this was years ago then.

When did they do this? When did they... Give you the 40,000 hours, you person, your person. No, no, no, no. No, no, no. No, no. ago? When was it then? Just recently. When was it?

Please. August. Is there like a minimum monthly payment? There will be, yeah. What was that agreed on? When does it start? How much did you agree on it with them? That hasn't been decided yet. Then how can you say it's going to start quickly?

Because I told them I want to pay off my upstart loan first. So I can put that money. And did they agree? but you're not rapidly paying off your upstart. In fact, a lot of your money has to go to the Apple card because you spend an endless amount of money of bullshit on your Apple card. Listen, I'll actually use the FISCard,

debit card that builds credit. Yeah. And whenever you decide to get a better paying job, which, I mean, you actually do okay. I thought it was pretty good. I just got promoted. Well, yes, except you thought you made $1,500 less. Doesn't matter.

I'll get you an accounting certification so you can actually look to your... shit through course careers. Thank God. It's good shit. It's good shit. It is. I'll also put you through our Master Your Money program. I know you signed up for one of the classes, but you get all the classes with it.

No, I signed up for the whole thing. The Master Your Money? Yeah. Good. Well, we'll make sure the rest of it is for free. And then right after, well, thank you. Right after that is one I got. Yeah, make sure you're active in the community.

A lot of people holding each other accountable. So make sure you do that. Listen, okay, so I don't even know what to put for a minimum payment there. You got kickoff. Okay, we talked about that. That's fine, though. You just do that as a normal thing. But that's all your debt.

Just those three debts, Apple, Upstart, and parents. Nothing else? No. What's your car situation? I paid it off. You paid it off. Yes. Why the fuck are you with all this extra shit if you pay off a car?

Well, wait. If you were good enough to pay off a car, why are you with all this other debt? Oh my goodness. Part of the upstart was paying off the original upstart that paid off the car. Okay. Checking account. Oh my goodness. What is this Apple thing?

What the provisional credit? Provisional credit. What is this? I got hacked. What? I got hacked. So I had to cancel everything. Oh my goodness.

It was like a whole. Oh my goodness. They took so much money. I'm glad you got that reversed, right? From the sounds of it? Yep. Okay, good. We got it now, but it just doesn't look great on that.

Oh my goodness. And then Apple purchase, Apple purchase, Apple purchase. This is crazy. It was from them still, right? Yeah, all throughout. And something with Metapay, $1,49, Medipay? Exactly. That was the thing that tipped me off that I was getting hacked.

That's crazy. Okay. You went inside, got some bullshit. Culvers again. Netflix, Domino's. Starbucks, Starbucks, stop with that, dude. Amazon, KFC, Amazon, one-month member, something. Starbucks, Corbens, KFC, Fortnite.

Yeah. We're really living it up COVID, aren't you? Yeah. I thought I canceled that a while ago. No? No, I haven't done it. No? Apple bill.

Starbucks. Going in and getting some energy drinks or some bullshit. Starbucks. Apple bill. Starbucks. Apple bill. Metape. Metape Starbucks.

What are you doing on? None of them? Okay. Nope. Well, those are a dollar each. I know. I know. Your Starbucks were multi-dollar. Multi-dollar.

Yes. Apple bill. Another meta-pay. Oh, there it is. That's that one. An Apple bill. Then Ven-Wean out money. Ven-mean out money.

And zeal and out money. Crazy. $5,000 in the savings. That's actually pretty good. I mean. Do you have that instead of the... Well, okay. Let's see your fidelity.

You pulled from your 401K. But not fidelity, though. What was in your 401K? Because now you only have $1,700 for retirement. Right. Which at 32 is horrendous and disgusting. and horribly behind in your f***. Yeah, I know.

So how much? How much did you pull out? 23. Oh, my gosh. But it wasn't through fidelity. Okay, and then, oh, you just also just blew $2,500 in your checking account. For what? For the TV?

Oh, for moving. No, for moving. Oh, the moving on top. Oh, what did you do? Why does it cost so much money for people to move? What is wrong with you? No. I have never, I have never spent even remotely that much.

money. And I have money. I had to move from... And I moved endlessly. Fargo, North Dakota. Old Fargo. To Minneapolis. Uh-huh. I moved from Kalamazoo, Michigan to Austin with like a couple hundred bucks. What the fuck is wrong with you? What did you bring? I sold everything and packed up my sedan. Why did you have to... Yeah, it would have been cheaper to just get some you shit in marketplace.

Yeah, I didn't sell anything. Yeah, no shit. My last stuff. What the fuck? How could you afford that in your checking account, dude? Worked a lot over time before that. Did you? Before I got promoted. Okay, because your salary now.

Yeah, yeah. That's why I moved because I got promoted. That's why you moved. It's not because you were forced out of the time. When did you leave that teacher job? Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. 2023.

Okay, that wasn't that long ago. How'd you have to think about it that hard? Okay. So why'd you leave? I mean, you said you were forced to leave. Yeah. I left because I didn't want to be monitored Like, if I wasn't able to do my job as a teacher and, like, have that be enough.

But maybe it would have blown over the controversy. No, because I was literally called down to the principal's office. They told you to stop. Yeah. Then stop posting. You're a teacher. You know, I mentioned just the teacher. During the day.

Yes, but stop posting it if that's the rules. Really? Why was that? Why is you posting titties online more important? Because that was something that was making money off as well. Huh? Making your what? I was making money off that as well.

Oh, come on. Was it comparable? Then where's that money today? Yeah, good question. Uh-huh. Spent it. So did you quit at the end of a school year? Yeah.

Thank goodness. I wouldn't leave in the middle. Well, I don't know with you. I don't know. So another reason that I left Fargo was because in the roommate situation that I was in. The roommate situation. What was that?

It was. An anti-trans? No, it was a trans person. Okay, so you guys were transing it up, touching fake clits. Oh, God. Oh, no, no, no, no. You're the one with one, I don't know. I'm not disgusted by it.

I was the one. My roommate was an older person that transitioned older. Are we ageist? No, but I'm just telling you the situation. I put them through Trinity Boot Camp, essentially. What? Oh, tranny boot camp. Uh, okay.

Because nobody was there. I'm also sure the parents of the school loves that you have a camp. Well, but that was afterwards. I'm kidding. Come on. Tell me. Yes, tell me. Excema is unpredictable.

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Okay, well, tell them no. I did. Okay, there you go. What? How old are they? How old are you? 63. And how old are you? 32. Why are your roommates with them, weirdo?

To help them. I needed a roommate. And they needed a roommate as well. Oh, what a mistake? It was. Oh, it was. 100%. That you had to emergency spend $2,500 to move.

Well, that and the manager. What happened? But they were very protective, overprotective of me weirdly, like that and jealous of guys that I would have. hang out with. They were guys. What? That you would.

Oh, yes, hang out with. Yes. Got you. Got you. You are not smart. And to the point where like they got very, very violent and. And what way to who and how? To me.

So they're protecting you. So they hit you? No. To like. The guys? The straight men? Yeah, essentially. But the guys weren't there.

You would fight the straight men? No, they wouldn't actually fight the straight men What are you saying? You said they got violent Yes They did get violent They did get violent They had a gun

So that made me very uncomfortable Did they shoot someone? No Where's the violence? They had one They like threatened to Oh they threatened to shoot you Not me

The guys Did he threaten the guys Yes He threatened them He said I will shoot you Yeah I will kill you Okay there it is That is bad

That is bad Yeah so I was on the I understand wanting to move from that. Well, it just, I didn't want to be with someone that was, like, in love with me in that weird way. Well, yeah, that's weird. But also, if you set your boundary in there, like, chill with it, it should be okay. They're not chill with it.

There was no boundaries. Mm-hmm. That was the problem. Yes, I agree. Did you guys? God, no. Okay. Did you see it?

No. You never saw it? No. He was in love with you, and he never tried to manipulate that. Okay, that's good. Well, he tried, but he didn't like force. Okay, good. But I was like.

Good. Yeah, let's draw your line. That's good. Always draw a line. You can advocate for yourself. So many people can't these days. Yeah, I needed to get out of that situation plus getting... Oh, yeah, they had to call the cops on them.

Almost. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Oh, almost. And that was the point where I was like, okay, this needs to change. All right, let's make you a budget. Okay. I mean, what's your rent?

1650. 1,650. You said internet gas, electric utilities are all included in that? Yep, in garage. Okay, well, I wasn't, okay. Part of it. $25 for the Apple card and $304.4 for the upstart. No minimum payment to the parents yet.

So that makes your debt to minimum monthly payments $329.4. Okay, room, room drive, drive gasoline to run over the protesters. How much? 20 bucks. A month? You live right next to the coffee shop? Yep. Literally?

Yep. Okay. And it's a Prius. I'm not going to say the word. I'm not going to call you one. Car insurance, how much? 75. What? That's incredible.

Yeah. Phone bill? 110. Oh, there it is. You all on your phone? I mean, I have the... You all on your phone. Abel upgrade program.

Okay. I would do healing me anyway. It's like 15 bucks a month. And T-Mobile has to be getting... Can that work? Yes. With an Apple upgrade program. Well, you just have to get off that program.

Oh, that's the problem. Why is your undernose wet this entire conversation? Does it just drain with all the things you've done? Yeah, sure. Does it? No, I think it's a makeup. I think it happens sometimes with makeup. Okay.

Well, you're not sniffing. No, no, no. Groceries, 300 bucks a month. Use the meal plan and the cookbook and all that good stuff. That I have. That's that digital version. Anything else you need to survive. I'm going to make you 175 instead of 100

because you need extra things. Thank you. You don't need tampons, though, which is nice. Nope. I don't even need to performatively have that. Okay, do some. That's a thing. Oh, yeah. That's a thing. Okay.

Medical health care. Co-pay is on a monthly basis. Come on, I know you got... Come on. You don't have medication to take. Yeah, but it's not a monthly thing. You don't have co-pays? It's every three months.

How much for that? $75. Okay. I'll put like 30 bucks. $25 bucks. You have a gym? Nope. Okay.

Subscriptions I'll put in 50. You have any pets? Nope. That's good. You're not playing on it, are you? Uh, no. That's good. Anything else I need to put in this budget?

You put... It's pretty... It's pretty lean, which is great. Honestly, I don't know how you're... But... What? I mean, spending habits is what's fucking it up. Yes, that's what I'm saying.

And the fact that I overspent by that much, I'm so gagged. Nope, it's not happening. Okay, needed to survive on a monthly basis. $2,734.4. You make five. You shouldn't have to take out money from your parents. You have an extra $2,200 on a monthly basis. Give you $200 for fun.

You have $2,000 left on a monthly basis. Apple's paid off in a month. don't use it again. You can use the Viz card. What is wrong with you? Okay. Upstart is paid off in about four. Four months? Yeah, dude, because you actually have money, even with spending $400 on fun. And with your $2,350 you have left on a monthly basis at that point,

$2,300 at that point, takes a year and a quarter to pay off your parents. This is all done a year and three quarters. two years max. Then you get a fully funded emergency fund and then you start contributing to retirement again maybe 50, 25, 25% on living, 25% for fun, 25% for investing

and you have a great life. Okay, we have a lot of crazy things to talk about in the post show and a lot of crazy things are going to happen in the post show. You can already tell. Brandon, get ready. Get the hands. Ready for squeezing. Oh my God. Join Hammer leap. I'm going to get the Hammer

Financial Score done first and then make sure click that join button for Hammer Elite. Best membership on YouTube, number one, three shows a day, six days a week. Spending your budget, you overspend 0 out of 10 debt. Otherwise, but the parent loan kind of sucks, but I'll say 2 out of 10. Parent loan brings it down.

Emergency fund, and the upstart is pretty brutal as well. Emergency fund, there's about a 3 out of 10. Retirement, not good. One out of 10, real estate 0 out of 10. You shouldn't have said you were a zero with that little bit of savings you had. That doesn't really make sense. Hammer Financial score 1.5.

5 out of 10, get yours at Calebhammer.com. Now, join us for an extra 20 minutes in the Hammer or in the Financial Auto Post Show. See you there. You got to call your parents. It is time to own up. You got to own the fuck up for your mistakes. Call them now. When were we planning on starting that repayment?

I mentioned it a couple times. I don't know. Maybe dad has too. I think I would be able to pay it back in... Hey, guys. Don't forget about free cash. Linked in the description and pin comment below. You can't read it.

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