Financial Audit - Loser Husband Blows All His Wife’s Money | Financial Audit

Episode Date: July 1, 2024

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To watch episodes of Financial Audit a week earlier, check us out on YouTube. Is he the childhood with the relationship? I mean, he doesn't bring in any money, and he apparently spends it all anyway. They always say, don't ever have a plan B. I've tried to live my life by saying, as long as things are paid for, that's all that matters. But you're not. You're not being off the balance. But you're working toward the balance. No, you're not.

It was an expected. You allowed to do this for three months? Well, she broke up with me and I was living in my truck at that point. Probably deserved. Hi, I'm Alex. And I'm Alexis. I'm 29 years old. and we are based out of Colleen, Texas.

And this is Financial Audit. Thanks for coming down from Colleen. So all these accounts right here, are you guys married? Yes, sir. Are these combined accounts? Yes. Yes. So I have your guys' accounts.

Okay, very cool. So what do we do for a living? We'll start with you. What do you do? I'm a digital marketing specialist for real estate. 58,000 a year. Very good. And what do you do?

I wait tables. and do stand-up comedy. Okay. How much do we bring in from... I got to ask for the comedy first. I think last year I did, 5,000. Okay. So more of a hobby, more of a grind,

more of a... We're trying. We're doing our best. How much comedy is there in Colleen? We come to Austin. Yeah, we're fancy. Not into like the big ones, but we do okay.

5,000 worth. What do you mean? Like the big clubs. Like mothership and stuff? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we went to a show last night with, oh, we went to a Rogan show. Oh, did you? My buddy Hans Kim was performing and Tony and Rick Dia, no, Rick, Joey Diaz.

It was really cool. $5,000, so obviously we're not living off of that. How much comes in from the waiting tables, one? I would say probably about $12,000 to $15,000. Okay, so you're the breadwinner. Yeah. Okay. Well

Oh, I just got sent some of your Comedy Oh, okay, I just got a couple things Do you mind if I watch these? Yeah, absolutely. I love when you watch them. You love when I watch them? Yeah.

When people watch them I was going to say, this is my first time. I get to look at your face and see if you like it. I'm going to look on my phone because I'm not logged into Instagram on the iPad. Oh, one of our editors, Mika, is also clicking on that link right now himself.

He's watching it in the other room. Okay, good. Let's see what I'm curious what he's thinking. Let's see what we think. Oh. That's not a... What is it? I just make singing videos as well.

I'm obviously not a singer. Let's see if this one's stand up. No. It's not? No. Justin Bieber's having a baby. Shout out to Justin Bieber. Yeah.

Okay. Sick. Let's watch the last one. Love a fellow content creator. Oh, yeah. You've picked a... the best videos. Well, I didn't pick them.

Okay, let's watch your most... Let's watch your most recent joke. This is very good. That's funny. Thank you. Well, they got a little chuckle there. Okay, one more, one more. A little crowd work.

Hey, better than I could do, man. Hey, thank you. Better than my singing. Yeah, that's interesting. That was... Those first three were definitely interesting. So $5,000. Yeah. Well, Facebook just started paying me tens of dollars.

Huh? Facebook just started paying me tens of dollars. Oh, tens of dollars. Yeah. Okay. So what is the overall plan for the household? Where are we sitting at today then? Obviously, you're not bringing in much.

Say you bring in an extra 20. Okay, great. So we're getting to, you know, close to 80. What are we doing right now? How are we feeling? What's going on? Well, they've just increased our mortgage, what, by $400? Property taxes?

Property taxes and then insurance because of all of the storms and everything. Yeah, so that hurts. Okay. Yeah, no, we're just... The bills are getting paid right now, so... Okay. They're being, yeah, they're being paid, but there's not a whole lot extra afterward. And then I think with that we're, the goal, obviously,

was to pay off some debt, but we have just... Why? Well, I don't like debt. That's my... No, why have we just, as you said? Oh, well, so we have gotten out... We keep getting back taxes where... I don't know if you guys know this,

but if you don't pay taxes, they come find you? Who's not paying taxes? Both of us? Well, are you not W-2ed? No, I am. He has just worked so many jobs. We didn't file a couple of W-2s, and they found them. I filed...

Well, yeah, but she filed, yeah, it was collecting. But it's your, okay, but it's your... It was his W-2s. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, but it feels better if she's the one who filed. Are you the one? So you're the one that files?

Not anymore because of that incident, but... Do we file jointly or separately? Joint. Joint. Okay. How, is there responsibility on both sides in this relationship when it comes to finances? Absolutely not. She doesn't let me see him.

I don't not let you see them. He just doesn't care. Why don't you care? I'm just a big spender. And she says, absolutely not. Don't spend that or spend it. Is that true? So you don't let him control any part of the money because he just goes and spends it?

I just have to, well, I'm the only one who checks a bank account. He doesn't check the bank account. Why? Because if I check it, I'll be like, all right, I probably shouldn't go spend $50 on cigars today. Cigars, $50 on cigars. Yeah. Okay. All right.

Well, let's just see, we're going to jump into the finances, but I want to see where you guys think you're both at as a household. So this is a household. I'm going to go three, two, one, go and on go. I want you to give me what you think is to score at the same time of your household finances. Zero being the absolute worst it could be, 10 being the absolute best it can be. So three, two, one, six. Wow. Interesting.

So we're kind of on the same page. Do we both feel like we know where the house is at? I think so. And we're trying to pay off debt, but we're not paying off debt is kind of what you said. But we're above like a solid, solid like right down the middle. middle five like okay solid yeah because we're above that yeah all right let's take a look at you do it all right discover it everyone gets to discover it card mm-hmm mine's pink i like to do just over the minimum on what everything yeah is it just that no on everything okay like if my minimum is like

yeah but also you completely ruin it though because on the discover it sure you had four thousand six $104 and the minimum payments close a little under $100, then you put $100 towards it. So, okay. Cool, but then you went and spent $20. So it completely negated it. Completely negated it. And then interest of $67.67.

Even though you put $100 towards it, the balance only went down by like $10. Yeah, but you get cash back. Yeah, but with the, come on, with the $67. $59 of interest, well, cash back is competing with that. In a single month, $67.59. Yeah, but if you look at it, like, you get cash back on every payment throughout the month. Eventually, you're going to get like... See the child with the relationship?

I mean, he doesn't bring in any money and he apparently spends it all anyway. Cashback? What the fuck? Cashback is for people who never pay... For interest that's never accruing. What's the cashback on the discovery? It depends, because they... Sometimes they give you...

you like 5%. Okay, 5%. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. But on your balance, you're losing 18%. So, net, it's losing like 12%. Yeah, they don't say, see right there, 5% cash back? Well, yeah, no.

Yeah, you got 21 cents. You got 21 cents. Congratulations. When you say it like that, it doesn't sound so good, Caleb. Yeah? So why do we do it? Do you believe it? Well, I did.

Until. Well, so like we just bought gas today and I put it on my Discover card, opposed to the bank account. To discover it? Correct. Okay. Why? Because I thought if I got the 5% cash back, then I'm saving money. Okay.

What do you think about this? I was literally going to put it on the bank card and he said, no, I'm going to put it on my credit card. Why? Headed here. Yeah. Which one? Who pushed to come on here? Me?

That doesn't make. Then you know the show. enough and you still put it on a credit card and you're sitting here talking about cashback with me. I'm very confused. Well, but because we're going to pay it off before it starts getting it. You're not. But it was only $25.

No, but that doesn't matter. The balance is literally only going down by $10 and it's sitting at $4,592. But if you get... And that's getting accrued at 18% rounded. But if you pay that 25 off before the next cycle, you shouldn't get interest on that. But your overall balance is huge and that's gaining interest. So you not, the money you're paying off is, I guess, in your mathematical way, paying off the thing you just purchased instead of actually paying down the balance that's gaining interest. So still, it's being completely negated.

I feel like there's a loophole here that I'm missing. There isn't. There isn't. If, at 5%, if I get 5% back and I pay it off. You sound like Theo Vaughn. I can't compare to Theo Vaughn all the time. I promise I did not beat down syndrome. He says that that was a bit of his.

I don't know if you know Theo Vaughan. That's why I mentioned them. Yeah. Okay, good. But no. So at 5%, if I pay that back before, then I didn't have to use $0. Right?

I made $0 if I just use my bank account. I get what you're saying. But because what you're doing is paying back that immediate purchase, you're not paying down the overall balance instead. And the balance is sitting in there thick and mighty. But I will still pay my $100, like you said, from the top. You didn't put extra. You didn't put extra on this statement.

No, but for today. Why? Why is today's special versus this one? Why is it different than this statement? I see, okay, fair. I see what you're saying. But that was today in my thought process. That is why, because I figured if I got 5% back on this gas and then I still do my $100.

You're obsessed with the cash back thing. Yeah, because. Have we had conversations about this? What is happening? What are the conversations around the credit cards, the debt, the purchases in this household? Well, she tells me not to use the credit cards. What do you say, he can use the credit cards? I try to tell him no.

I'd rather not if we have the cash. You'd rather not what? If we have the cash, I'd rather not put anything on the credit card. That's not really putting your foot down saying I'd rather you not. I try not to be controlling. I don't want you to be controlling either, but it's also just like communication having a conversation about it. He clearly doesn't, even now after this conversation, he clearly doesn't seem to understand what's wrong

with putting it on a credit card. So is this like we're not commune? What are, well, so my credit used to be, what are her financial goals for you guys? I have no idea. There we go. That's huge. The fact that he doesn't even know what, like a household,

what do you have financial goals for your household? I've told him before that I would, if I had just a house payment, a car payment, I'd be content. It's really just the credit cards. Like, I don't want debt elsewhere. Car payment still. What are his financial goals?

I don't know that he has any. So you guys just don't talk about money. No. But this is a big part of a relationship. That's what I say, as long as the bills are paid. Yeah, but the minimum bills, you're losing money. You're losing money. But the cash back, you're gaining money.

Are you like actually like, are you because you're a comedian or like, no. What is that? Because that's dumb. I've already explained this multiple times. But like that's dumb But if you get the five If you're going to pay it

I But you're not You're not paying off the balance But you're working toward the balance No you're not You $10 dollars $10 net after putting $100 towards it $10 net

If that's not bad Oh my God See f*** with me because he's a jokester That was happening Or does he really think this? I feel like it's a little bit of 50-50 I do believe that there's cash. I believe the cash back is

a bonus. He does. He does legit say that though. It's real. It's real. That's for people who are credit card. People who can pay off the balances. You need a card dude like the FISCard or any other charge card that forces you to pay it off at the end of each month and then you still reap the benefits. Yes. That's what you need. But so I started, I think whenever I first got my first credit card, I had a 612 credit score and now I'm up to like an 800. Yes. Debt loves you. Debt loves you. You're utilizing it the way they want to. I mean, the credit line on here is $18,000.

So, like, yes, there's a big enough gap there. But you're still getting completely the interest. Over across the entire statement, you lost $248 this month in interest alone across everything. Yeah, cashback's not that much. Well, the car and credit cards. That's not even including the mortgage. But the car and credit cards. It was $2,000?

280. Oh, 280. Yeah. Okay. Which if you're on your own with that Would be a substantial amount because you don't make any money. Yeah, that is accurate Running a YouTube channel like the one you're watching right now is a full-time job Especially when it comes to video creation content planning making sure the lighting is right

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I can only go off of what my gut reacts to. So, and this is obviously a town to make it in, but it's beyond competitive. Absolutely. Beyond competitive. How long have you been trying? I've been doing comedy for five years. Okay. And we've made $5,000.

So are we getting an extra thousand hours per year? Probably close to that. Yeah. No, it's more than an extra a year. I think I'm on track to do closer to seven. This year. Yeah, seven or eight probably. Have you ever done a bucket pole?

Kill Tony. I sign up all the time, but I never get pulled. That would be cool. I like to go to the show as much as I can. I'd love to see you up there. Thank you. That'd be cool. Yeah.

It'd be fun. Hopefully I would applaud. Yeah. You might be a bar. I'm not really a booer. No. No. They love booers.

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Book Direct at choiceotails.com. that's what we spent money on on Etsy yeah on the Discoverer at $20.56 on Etsy that was a surprise for me that she bought

but see that was her that was me yeah so what are you doing you're supposed to be the responsible and that's not funny I think it was

my card connected to my PayPal so I just went ahead and purchased it rather than going and getting my bank card because I ordered it through PayPal

and no cash back what's your obsession let's see you've fallen for the trap. You've fallen for the trap. Okay. Now the classic wait, we have two discoverers. Yeah. Yeah. So that was probably her. That one's mine and the pink one is his. Yeah. See now you'll start to see this. Are you authorized users on? No. Oh, I asked if at the beginning all accounts. Oh, okay. Sorry. That's the bank. Oh, yeah. Yeah. All of my credit cards are mine. Yeah. And then hers are hers. That is my only

car. Or no, I have two cards in there actually. So you're the one with the balance of almost $5,000 and you don't and you're spending on it and you're supposed to be the good one that's how this was set up that's not funny what are we what are we laughing what are we laughing why are we laughing do people people think it's so like cute to be bad with money or something like what is what is happening $20 do we have to go through this again just like the gas thing I know I have the net net net net only $10 went towards paying off the card even though you gave it $100 that actually got refunded too because they messed up my order okay Still, even with your spending.

Yes, it's hilarious. It's this cute. What are we doing? Why are we all laughing? I'm embarrassed. She does get embarrassed easily. So I'm laughing because I'm embarrassed. Okay.

Okay, fair enough. So you're a discoverer. Yes. Now I have no idea what has gone on that, probably. So you guys don't even know what's happening on each other's? No. Credit cards? No, probably not.

You guys need to just sit down and talk about. We're going to send you through our budgeting educational system. to go through that together literally go through it together spend the three to four hours it takes after quizzes and everything go through that together seriously please i need you to you guys need to start having conversations at a minimum about what the f is going on financially in the household yeah we there was a couple years ago we sat down and we actually were like okay we spend this much on this this much on this uh but that was i think like 2020 and we have not looked back you know the last time a comedian came on here and then ended up going on Kill Tony, he got obliterated.

Really? Like his set flopped beyond hard. Wow. Thanks for putting that on me. Yeah. Again, it's not something I could do, but I'm also not signing up to do it. Again, you're the good one, apparently, and he's the bad one in the finances, but his balance is half the size of yours.

$2,191 to 77 cents with a $63 minimum fee payment. You're right. You did put way more than the minimum on yours. Okay, yeah, so I didn't know which one I didn't realize I was. But you still went and spent $400 then. So I'm still confused because $42 of interest is accruing on this. So why are we spending money on a card that is having interest accruing? Why not to get it to zero?

Then do the purchases you're going to do, then pay them off every time. Why would we do purchases on a card that already has a balance that you can't fully pay off? Yeah, so that one literally the reason, so you should be, is it the Walmart? Is that the purchase that you're talking about? Let's see. Because there should be... Walmart's one of them. Sir, it was a big one.

But then there's also a comedy club. And going in a gas station, getting some... Going to a gas station, getting some bullshit. Spare time. Is that a gas station? No, that's a bowling alley. Yeah, bowling alley. Great.

And then a restaurant, the gin. So no, not just Walmart. Five bull... purchases on a card that we can't pay off. Well, so the big one at Walmart was... I lost my headphones. I was actually on my way back from Michigan doing a show and left my headphones on the airplane

so I had to go buy more AirPods but I put it on my credit card too I'm an avid runner and I congratulations get a fair headphones that go over your ears that plug into your phone that's you don't have money you make no money

that's fair but the reason I put it on the credit card was so that way I could get the cash back oh you're gonna f'm murdered me. You, I don't think I can get through to him on this cashback thing. I really don't. But what did I save? What did I save on those headphones by using cashback? But you're not though, because in the end, remember, you went to throw that $1,000 at this overall bounce, which would have taken it down further if you didn't put the AirPods on here. So in the end,

the balance remains higher and is getting attacked with a 22.24% interest rate, which is well above whatever cashback you got, not even close to comparable. You're losing. But did I pay that one off? You're literally making like a dollar off of losing $100. I believe I paid that one off instantly, though. The purchase? Uh-huh. But the money you were throwing towards it, because you put money on it,

the money you throw towards it decreases the overall balance less because you got such a big item on it. And that large amount of interest is accruing on that balance. A whiteboard, please. Yes. Oh, fuck. You're losing me here. This is no special little whiteboard, and I'm going to steal it. How do I want to visualize this?

How do I want to visualize this? Oh, my gosh. Dildo marker. Well, that makes sense. Okay. Okay. Go with me here, because I'm trying to think of how to visualize this. Okay.

Here is the big scary dad. Okay. Let's say this is a $2,000 debt. Okay. You have an extra $1,000 to throw at it. Yep. Okay. But this whole $2,000 is accruing interest, right?

Okay. I'll say at 22%. Yeah. You have a gorgeous, gorgeous $1,000 you can throw towards it. It's incredible. $1,000. And you can throw it right at this to cut it in half. But uh-oh, we went and spent $250, which would be about this much, $250, right?

So now, when you cut this $1,000 in half, it's no longer in half anymore because you still added more to the pile. Well, yeah, of course. Okay, yes, I see that. And this is still accruing interest because less in the end was paid off because you're adding a balance to the stupid. thing. Right. But so if I would have just taken the $250 and bought the headphones outright, that still would not have gone on there. Yes, you couldn't afford the headphones. You couldn't afford it. You just couldn't afford them. And if you're going to put it somewhere, don't put it at least on the card. Even if that means you have $750 less on here, just your

behavior. Your behavior of thinking you should be putting things on cards is bad. You need to address your behavior. So you're saying if you have the cash to just pay for things in cash and just leave the card alone. Let me cap this thing up before it gets someone pregnant. Thank you, sir. What do we think about that? So if I have the cash to buy the headphones now, I should have just left the card alone and just put the remainder of that thousand, which would have been, what, roughly $750?

I have another graph for you. Okay. I'll visualize this. We like to be helpful. Yeah. The red is the cashback rewards you are receiving. Okay. The blue is the interest that is hitting you.

Let's see what the reward versus the consequences are. Okay. You can see how they compare. Is that red really improving your life? And what is this on? We're putting it on screen across your credit cards. All credit cards, right? Both discover credit cards.

Both discover. $3,000 for two days. I was broke. And you just held on to the loan money and spent it instead of... Correct. Because obviously if you drop out of classes within those two days, you don't have to pay for those credits, typically. So you're in that refund amount of time. Yes.

But we used it and we just spent it on what? So I was in Florida and she was in Indiana and I used that to move to Indiana. Borrowed money, man. Instead of loans. Okay. What do you think about that? I mean, I'm glad that he was able to move up. Yeah.

Well, also, what were you bringing? How did it cost $3,000? I'm just confused. No, he lived on it, too, after he moved. Okay, well, that makes sense. Because I only associate, you know, like, yes, we can bring in statistics from other people. But if I'm just thinking about myself, when I got my job down in Austin, Texas, five and a half years ago, and I went from Michigan, I paid a security deposit down on something. gas money and stopping for food on the way.

Other than that, I literally just like threw away or gave away or even tried to sell, but that was harder because it was like a one week turnaround. Like two thirds of my stuff packed up everything else in a sedan and just drove down. Like, really $3,000? Yeah, that's what I did. But then I lived on that until I got to. There you go. So why didn't you say it was because of moving then?

Well, because it was. Yeah. What do you mean? Because I did. So I was working at a shop in Florida. And you could have gotten some McFry job you could have that's what yeah I did yeah he did after the money was gone after the money was gone so you wanted to go through the full no because I had a business idea that I so I you have a business idea what's your business so I bought a couple motorcycles and I was resell them oh me but I ended up selling them to somebody who was a close friend who took advantage of the situation sounds like a great friend turned out to be not such a good friend. So obviously I lost all of that money And then that's when I got a job

You want to be told that that's a stupid business to get into Apply to be on the show Calebhammer.com slash apply Because that's a stupid decision either way For someone in your position at that time You borrowed $3,000 to live

Like I don't think we're taking on the risk of starting that type of business But I thought that if I so much like in If you flip this motorcycle And I could have made a couple thousand Which was the goal Obviously, I don't think your goal was to lose money. I'm not saying that.

But that is what happened. I know that's what happened. Okay, so how long did you try that? And then you went and got the McFri-Duncan job? I think that was about, yeah, about three months. Three months? It was an expensive? You allowed her to do this for three months?

Well, she broke up with me and I was living in my truck at that point. Lots of places can expose you to identity theft. Oh, no. That's why LifeLock monitors hundreds of millions of data points a second for threats to your identity. which is way more than anyone can do on their own. If we find anything suspicious, like new loans or changes to your financial accounts, we alert you right away all through text, phone, email, or the LifeLock app. Get the alerts that could make all the difference.

Save up to 40% your first year at LifeLock.com slash special offer. Terms apply. Probably deserved. I can say that because you guys are together. I mean, aren't you married? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, cool.

And we got back together after he had this job. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it seems like he's kind of, it seems like he's kind of in this cycle of, trust me, I'm talking about him for a second, but you're not good with your finances. We've gone this. But let's just talk about jobs and stuff like that. Seems like maybe some aspirations, yes, but just kind of fumbles around and tumbles around trying to shoot for the stars without really bringing in money ever.

I mean, yeah, kind of. because he's definitely job hopped, but as long as he's making something and... But it's more than that, though, because just making something isn't necessarily going to get the household to the goals. Now, we don't have household goals, which I think is the main issue.

Because without goals, we're kind of aimless. We don't know what we're shooting for, so you don't know what to do to even get there. I guess if we have no goals, if we have no retirement goals, what we want to do in retirement, if we don't want to, you know, travel, all the stuff, if you want to be able to spend more time doing a comedy

without having to worry about the deaths over your head and paying for rent and all whatever you know is going on mortgage um saving up for a down payment you know having kids stuff like that if we don't have the goals then just f***ing around works yeah but that won't work in life in the end yeah yeah i've always been the kind of guy that you know if you look at any of the uh your your a list people they always say don't ever have a plan B so i've just i've tried to live my life by saying as long as things are paid for as long as the we have a roof over our head that's all the matters just put in as much time for your we get nowhere from that though what's your what's your

retirement plan both of you as a household what are we doing i don't have any we're the same age so i don't know if i can rely on social security by the time i retire yeah i mean they keep having to push back retirement age because it's you know it's not managed very well so yeah i've not thought about it she has a retirement i don't know how much i don't know i don't know what i've put into it. I've been working at my same job for six years. Why haven't you looked? I don't know how. I don't know. You don't know what company it's with? I don't have any idea. Oh, okay. What's your percentage contribution? I'm gonna fuck my rest. Okay. Not a clue. I had, uh, when I worked at a mattress store, I had retirement, but then whenever, uh, I quit working

there, I pulled it out. That's another thing with the, the, the, the, no goals. This is like, it doesn't even matter to have retirement at that point. May as well just tap into it if we're not trying to get somewhere. Okay. And you're not paying on your student loans. Are you in a weird payment? I kind of screwed myself. Just last year, I tried to go back to school.

And so I... What? Business administration. I mean, that's great. Yeah, but it ended up being way too much. You're not making bad money. No. Unless, you know, you just wanted a different career path, which is totally okay.

And that's kind of, yeah. So you're in a little bit of deferment until how long? Until when? I just got a notification that they're actually supposed to start again in August. Your minimum monthly payment's probably going to be like $150. Oh gosh. I don't know it would be that much. Probably.

I mean, unless you're able to get on like, you know, there's different repayment plans you can get on. Yeah. But even still with those like interest can accrue more and then if you're looking for any kind of forgiveness, you know, depends on job. Depends on life situation. Depends on the repayment plan. But even still, once you get to the point of forgiveness, you know, you're looking for, it also kind of depends on administration who's overseeing the department of education you know there's a lot of risk involved public student loan forgiveness that one is pretty darn good uh the statistics are screwed on it a bit where like almost no one makes it but that's because a lot of the people who apply for it don't qualify for it already like legitimately so like excuse the statistic but typically as long as you're actually sticking in the job that qualifies for that and you just don't fuck along the way you can get it forgiven but um but that's not even your situation anyway So I think it's going to be like $150

starting next month you said. August, so I'm hearing a couple months, okay. Your student loans are $3,000. What's up with the payment on that? $50 a month. I think it's down to... Which with COVID, we haven't been paying on them though. Yeah, just restarted.

Yeah, I think last October. Yep, yeah. Well, that's fine. So $3,000? I think it's down to like $23 or $25 or something in there. And then the mortgage, what I love about this is the 2.75% Right. So when did we get this house? 2021.

Yeah. Yeah, that was a fun experience. And we're happy? Got our house? Yeah, we're happy with the house. It was just, we did it, we bought it side unseen. What? Yeah.

Yeah, we had never been. That's a choice. Yeah, kind of, but our realtor didn't even do like a final walkthrough. Yeah. Yeah, it was just. Oh, you're the realtor. Yeah. Yeah.

What are you doing? You signed on a home and a mortgage without a final walkthrough? Yeah. We didn't know. We didn't know that she didn't do the final walkthrough for us until we were signing the papers. Yeah. She didn't even show up to our closing. Yeah.

Who the fuck are you guys using? Yeah. Yeah, it was rough. But the house is nice. Like, it's a really nice house, but. Well, what's the issue then? The city. The city.

Colleen? Yeah. Colleen has a bad part? I've never been to clean. It is the bad part. Oh, Colleen's the issue. about isn't it just a military base? Yeah, the worst one in the in the country. The worst military base in the country? Yes. I've never heard that. We've had quite a few

cleaners. There's document or documentaries on Colleen. Vanessa Gillen or yeah. People going missing. I was just at work the other day and she's like yeah another double homicide and it was like a 1.5 miles away from our house. Yeah. Man, okay. So Julie's research the neighborhood? Uh, yeah, the neighborhood looks nine. The neighborhood is nice. It's more so that, yes, it's the town as a whole that is not the best. So you don't like living in clean. Why are you in clean? It was affordable. We were, we tried to move to Texas for comedy. Someone close to Austin. Yeah. Yeah, and that's just where we could afford. What's a, well, I guess 161,000. Yeah, that's definitely difficult even in the far reaches of Austin. And I just didn't want to rent anymore. I was tired of renting. I love the rate. Um, honestly, I personally love this purchase as long. is it's in a place you like. Yeah. Well, and it was a... It has its perks and it has its downfall.

Or are you guys going to have kids and you want to raise kids there and all that? That's where it kind of, you're like, I don't know. So what's the plan with this? Because, I mean, the Texas market in general has been in a little bit of a dip. Don't know specifically about that area. Yeah.

You know, I mean, probably when... No one ever really knows. I mean, you still probably need to hold a home for at least like five years. It's the typical, you know, you know, at least break even, hopefully. Yeah. After all the fees and everything. Yeah, which we're in good shape right now.

Like we get a quote, a monthly quote on what the value is. What is the value? Like 230, 240 now. Yeah, somewhere right in there. It's decent. Well, you owe $1601,19 in the monthly payment with everything included is $1,523. Okay. Yeah, it was an FHA loan.

Yeah. So we pay a middle of luxury. Yeah. So we're having to pay extra loan like insurance the month or something. Sure. If you want to take your insurance. investing to the next level. My new investing course is still on sale. Until July 1st, we're offering the course for only $97, which is $50 off. You'll get over 55 lessons, the best budgeting spreadsheet,

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Yeah, a small SUV. What do you guys need an SUV? She likes SUVs. Yeah. We've had jeeps and. Um, okay. And that's 7%. That's not great.

No, it's not great. What's the minimum monthly payment on this? A 310. These are stacking. These minimum payment's payments are stacked. And it's $14,153. $93. Okay.

There's also a checking account here, and it's mostly just money is being sent. Yeah, it's all that word. A franchise tax thing. Oh, there's what it is. So that's going to be,

yeah, like for our comedy shows. What? When we sell tickets to comedy shows, it goes into that account. But that's what if you saw in the statement where we were paying out comics and stuff, a lot of that.

Wait, you host your own shows? Why? Instead of getting booked. Like you said, there's a lot of competition. So you just create your own opportunity. And how do those go? Pretty good.

Yeah, they go pretty well. Most times. Where do you host them? Up in Colleen, we do stuff in Temple. We do stuff in Georgetown. So not in Austin for hosting. Not our own. No, usually when I'm in Austin, I get booked somewhere by someone else.

Okay. Can you roast? I don't like to. Okay, that's fine. Yeah, I just, I don't like to be mean to people. I'm just trying to find a way to destroy Noah's life in the post show. Okay. But I don't know.

He did, I don't know the order of episodes coming out, but he destroyed my life in yesterday's post show and episode recorded. So it is only fair. That's funny. A roast would have been good, but obviously, that's fine. Oh, Noah tells me we're going to smoke cigars. Yeah. I told you, 50 bucks.

I love a little bit of cancer for people who subscribe. Yeah, absolutely. Great. That's, all right. Checking account 348, that's actually dangerously, not a great balance. No. Payments come to hit. I see a little payment from comedy there.

Cash shopping out $40, $30. Etsy, Apple Bill, Apple Bill. Going to a gas station, getting some bullshit, getting some donuts. So you're saying you're making no progress on things, but let me look at the spending. Yeah. Spending's horrendous.

Uh-huh. What are doing? Parking somewhere, parking somewhere. Sometimes you get to park, but... So it needs to a plaza, probably another parking in and out. Going inside getting some bullshit from 7-Eleven. Paypal and out $17.

Amazon. There's your student loan payment. Dunkin' Donuts, Baskin Robbins. Car wash. Got to wash our... My new car. 14,000... It's your new car?

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getting to bullshit. Paying tolls. Get in our tolls for to drive that car. Pirateship post. Pirateship post. That's sending out merch. You sell merch. Is this successful? Yeah, it is okay.

Who's buying the merch? Me? You're buying your own merch. Oh, you mean like, yeah, it's other people. I think you meant who's like buying it like bulk and then I sell it. No, who is purchasing your merch? People that come to shows and people online and yeah. Yeah, friends.

not just friends. Well, like the online stuff is mostly friends and family. And fans. She's putting you in your place. I guess. She's univated. She's humbling you. I'm uninvited.

It's always good to be a little humbled, you know, you're in there. Every day. Well, yeah, I mean. Every day in my life. I was looking at, I wanted to see your follower account. Okay. When it comes, you, you know, your fans. That's not too bad, right?

3,000. So, and that's just, it's hard. to market a lot of merchandise for just it is yeah absolutely but then facebook we're back going back to the gas station getting some bullshit so door dash Duncan Robbins and DoorDash Duncan Robbins 524 in the savings only up $22 and that's just a keep the change type of thing see cash back $22 keep the change of the cash back essentially I mean it's the same you remember the interest you lost that included yeah but but what I'm saying is in my head it all makes since until now, until now.

What would we like to do a group project? Okay. All right. It's enthusiastic. Yes. I didn't know if that was a real question. I wasn't sure. Yeah.

I didn't answer. Like we're going to do it anyway. We are going to do it anyway, but I was hoping you're like, whoo! You really had crayons. Well, markers. They're margars. We're getting the, we're getting the crayon version pretty soon. Good.

Now I can relate. You really do sound like Thea. It's interesting. Well, I think he grew up probably making less than $15,000 a year, too. Probably. Yeah. And then he was the low percentage that made it, and I love it. And I would love you to make it again.

But I'm just, I just go off of odds and the fact that really, I mean, you guys just have the defined your goals. You know? It's like if your goals aren't defined, like you've got to figure out what you've got to do to get to your goals. Right now you don't have goals. So we don't know if what's going on is okay or not. Right. That makes sense. But we're certainly not making any part of our parking account.

We have barely anyone in our checking account. Our emergency fund is non-existent. You don't know how much in retirement. you do not have anything in retirement, so everything's a joke. Okay, a group exercise. And here's the base of the chart. You were going to draw two box charts in whatever thing way you want. So what you're going to do?

This is grocery spending. Okay. Going to grocery store spending, which is a very interesting thing we haven't talked about yet, because I wanted you to figure out, you know what we're doing. So let's say you draw the average. I don't know what the average is, but let's say the average, this is a big thing of average for the average household. The United States grocery shopping.

And let's say it's, let's just go a crazy number, so I'm not giving you any hints, $10,000. So this is a $10,000 chart. And let's say you spend $5,000. So you would draw your chart halfway through and you would do $5,000. This is for a month. Okay. A month of the American average, American household average,

and your average. For groceries? For grocery store shopping. Grocery average. National, yours. You want me to draw it. I want you guys to group think on this and put your brains together for the first time ever. Okay.

And like actually decide where's the national average. I want you to also give me the number in the bar chart. So decide where you think you guys are at and where the national average is at and make sure it's proportional. I will give you time. Okay. Work. I would say weekly. And you can tell me if you disagree.

But weekly, I think. people probably spend somewhere in the ballpark of three to 350 on groceries. I disagree. Okay, what do you think? I know that your brother and Lauren spend 100 for their household of like six people. A hundred a week? I think so. Okay.

So I'd say for a month, 500 is the average. Okay. Okay. I can see that all. So we'll just, we'll go. I'll let you write it there you go 500

and then we on average spend roughly 100 to 150 a week so that's going to be what somewhere in the ballpark of $500 probably so we should be right on par

probably but we're only two people well my box was bigger he also didn't drive it in the right color but that's okay oh yeah I just need to be red. You want me to go over it?

It's fine. You're good. So to be clear, you guys think the national average for the household is $500. Yep. And you think you are the average household and you spend $500. Yep. Okay. Close with the national.

National average, $475.25 for that month. You guys, this was a little higher because you told us Walmart was grocery shopping, but, you know, we've just found out the AirPods from there. so we subtracted that. Oh, okay. We subtracted that. So, but even still, you spend likely $750 a month, which is going to be up to this new line, which I crossed out what was likely the AirPods. Gotcha.

So you guys spell, and you don't have kids. No. You don't have any dependents as far as I know, right? Right. And you guys spend probably an extra $250, $300 more than the average household in America. So that's who you guys are compared to the average. but let's figure out your financial potential plans to get out of here. Let's create a budget.

Is there anything else? Is there anything else I'm missing here? So I, you keep saying goals. I want to, my plan is to, I want to buy another muscle car. Another muscle car. So I've got a 76 firebird. Okay. That I'm restoring.

Oh, what is this? Sit in the garage for 30. years? It's been there three years already. That's how it usually goes. Okay. But I've been working on it, but so... Yeah, you screw a bolt once every two months. Well, I'm cutting metal. It's, it's taken, but so... Which one if you put into that car? Uh, I bought it originally for $850. I've sold some things off of it, got it down to $500, but then I bought $3,500 in new parts. It's not doing anything, and you're not paying off death, and you have nothing in retirement, but we're putting it into a firebird. Cool. And you want to get a new one, even though you're not, you're not doing it. You

you haven't done anything with your old you've done stuff but you're not driving it it's a drivable no okay great so we should probably get a new one right so what's this what's this new one so that is so i can't drive it while i work on this project what but that's do you how do you guys you have to is the is the is a is a Mercedes the only driveable car at the house no no we have we have what the how many cars do we have We have three cars. Oh, no, three drivable cars, a motorcycle, and a firebird in the garage. The fuck are you guys?

Guys, you have so much debt. You could take care of this today. I'm just a very sentimental person. Congratulations. I don't give a shit sentimental about your debt getting gone. So get it gone. But you don't know the cars we have. So I've got an 06 Impala.

Oh, thrilling. But it's worth no money, so I can't sell it. Now, grab it. And throw that few hundred dollars to that. Yeah, it would literally be a. a few hundred dollars. Yes, and throw it towards your debt. Like, why waste space?

Because that's what I drive to work every day. So it keeps... That was my car that we were going to get rid of the Mercedes. It's not worthless if you're driving it every day. He is driving it. Yeah, I drive it every day. If it's drivable somewhere, it's not completely worth it. Right, yeah, no.

And that's why I... You might not get anything crazy, but... Yeah, and that's why I don't want to get rid of it. And the third drivable car? So then I've got an 85 Dodge pickup. Cool. And that one is whenever we need to, you know, pick up things with a truck. So I have that.

Yeah, a comedian and someone who works in an office. Well, I work with my hands a lot. Cool. Carry. I don't know. What are you talking about? You have debt. The truck also is not worth anything.

No. Is it drivable? Barely. It's worth something. If you're, if you're, if you're a reason for keeping it is because you use it once a year to carry groceries or something,

then it's sellable. That way. You might not get anything, but your debt also isn't absolutely insane. It can literally make, progress finally. That's just what's so hard because I've had this truck. How often do you use it?

Never. Oh, there we go. Thank you. Thank you. Because I knew you wouldn't answer it correctly. Thank you. How often does he actually use it? I would say once, to actually drive once every two to three months. He might take it out once a month to make sure it's driving. You will rent a U-Haul if you need to for 50 bucks. It's just the sentimental value that I have in that.

I don't give a shit about no sentiment and no value. The value to it can go to it. towards your debt? What's the sentimental value? So, uh, whenever I was a little kid, my dad died when I was seven and he had the same pickup truck. So I bought this pickup truck. Is it the pickup truck? It's not the same one, but I've had this one for 10 years and that's what I moved back to Indiana with and I've traveled the country many of times with this. So that's what I lived in when we broke up. Dude, I practically burned the car I drove of the country with when I moved down here because it's a piece of metal. Listen, I would get the sentimental value a little bit more if it was

literally what someone else owned. maybe I'm coming across like a maybe I just have no empathy in this situation just pay off your f*** that dude it's not the car that someone else owned you drove the country it's a piece of metal get another one when you're in the position to get it and it has the same sentimental value as this one

because this one didn't belong to anyone else anyway that has sentimental value okay I hear you okay and the motorcycle yeah the motorcycle that was whenever we left L.A. everybody got you're in L.A., okay yeah That's where I started comedy.

And we went back to Indiana where we're from. And everybody got... You sound like that from Indiana. Well, then I grew up in Florida. So I sound like I'm from all over the place. Like Bayou, Florida? No, like surfing Florida. Like Cocoa Beach.

That's not a surfing accent. No, this is East Coast mixed with Hillbilly, Indiana. Yeah. Yeah. So it meshes in there. That's a wrangle some gaiters. Yeah. Well, that's the Indiana and then, yeah. But so I love the southern state, Indiana. Yeah. No, we're just stupid in Indiana. There's a, thanks. Well, he's, you're from Michigan. Yeah, I will be

honest. I don't think anyone looked up to Indiana. I'll be honest. What do you mean? I want to looked up to Indiana. Yeah. In the Midwest. Yeah, a little bit. You guys aren't in the top 10 population states. Larry Bird. Like Illinois, Michigan, and Ohio is don't really produce much economic value for the Midwest. Megalopolis. Indianapolis is the major city there and doesn't really add into the overall

United States metro population areas. We've got a major contributor. We've got racing. We've got sports. Yeah, that part is exciting. Yeah. People take left turns there. Yeah. We've got corn. Oh, I think that's all thrown. Phantan. That is true. They sell a lot there.

A big contributor to the GDP on that one. Yeah. So I think we do have a couple things that we export. No, I'm just hating for no reason. I don't, I mean, I don't personally care. One of my producers went to school in Indiana, basically on the border of Michigan. Okay. Yeah.

But it's still Indiana. It was technically in Indiana. I drive through Indiana to get to a better state. Yeah? Sometimes. Like when I want to go to Chicago. Yeah. Chicago's okay.

Yeah. You got to drive past world-renowned everyone's favorite city in the country. country Gary. Yeah. Gary's, it's cleaning up. Gary's cleaning up. We're not murder capital of the world anymore. Yeah, what is that? St. Louis? Okay. I think it is. Okay. So back to the motorcycle. So whenever we went back, everybody got COVID money and, you know, most people went and bought like flat screens and stuff like that. So great use of taxpayer money. Okay. I bought, uh, I bought a motorcycle instead. Another great use of taxpayer money. How is it worth? Uh, I bought it for 12,000. I had 500. So I got a loan for 11.5.

Wait, is the loan gone? Yeah. What's it worth? I believe it's somewhere in the ballpark of 10,000. That's awesome. Sell it. Yeah, so it's in perfect condition. Great, sell it.

I ride it. Good, sell it. I feel like that would be more than the debt, right? How much debt do we have? No. Well, we still have a house and another car. Regardless of the house. I mean, the Mercedes-a-Lone is worth $14,000.

Her student loans are $11,000. Combined both at credit. credit cards together and it's basically 7,000. So, sell it. You'll get you a little, fun little motorcycle when you're in the position to afford it. You're not. Yeah. Easy as that. Be a man. First time. But then how am I going to be a man with no motorcycle to ride? I think in Texas is more of like a Dodge Ram type of man. You told me to sell my Dodge Ram. Which, yeah, you would lose your Texas manhood. I'm sorry, buds. Yeah, now I feel like I'm just losing it all.

Yep. And then you'll get it back eventually. I have pawned stuff. Okay. Cool, sell the cars, yeah? Okay. Oh, we gotta get you more money. Yeah.

I mean, I can get people tech certifications through course careers, which I love. It just doesn't make sense for you because you're just, I don't think you, do you want to work in tech? I don't think so. Yeah, I don't even know. I can barely check an email. It's great for most people, but I guess not for you. Okay, minimum wage, not including the mortgage. Also, don't get that other debt for the new car.

Well, the goal is... I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit. Been talking about goals all day. Yeah, but this one's a stupid one. I already know. No, this is a good goal. Because, so the car that I'm looking at is only $7,500.

So the goal is if we can get paid down somewhere close to that, then we just... What? Pay what down? Somewhere close to that. Down to, if we can get $7,500 paid down. Pay down? On your debt? Yeah.

How? Oh, it might be a minute. So, yeah, by your math, that's three and a half years. But so if I can do that and then I can, so. Three and a half years? Yeah, so then I can go out and I can buy another. You're willing to be okay with that. Your debt taking that long, even though your debt's not that crazy.

Well, no, I wanted to get better, but I'm saying... Are kids in the picture? Not right now. Ever? Eventually. Maybe. Okay, you wouldn't want to bring them into this, and you're considering willing to pay off $1,000 every year for three and a half years

to take away $7,500,000 so you can get another on a motorcycle? Car. Yeah, another car. Another car that's going to do nothing. But with classic cars, to be fair, the value does go up every year. If you, like, do shit, right? Yeah, and that's the goal. Yeah, how'd that other one go for...

We're working on it? For three years. Well, yeah, these things generally... A lot of people, they invest 10, 15 years into them. Okay. Okay. So you get it for $7,500, right? Okay.

Tell me what that's worth in three years from then. Honestly, if things keep going about three years ago, I was looking. No, no, no. Three years ago, that's a completely different car market, not even close. That's a car market that no one's ever seen and no one will ever see again. Of course, but we don't know what three years from now is going to look like. You think there's going to be a major global pandemic and we didn't learn anything from the last one? No, it's not going to be the same repeat over and over again.

But the trajectory, since that, obviously there was a big spike, but the trajectory is staying the same. Okay, fine. Percentage increase each year. So that I have no idea. All I know is just the number. What would it go to from 7,500 over the course of five years? Over the course of five years, what would it be worth? And five years, I say it would probably be worth $15,000.

No. With... It doesn't double and putting work into it? Absolutely. Oh, well, how much you spent? How much do you put into it? Maybe another thousand or two? attention all business owners if you're in a business for yourself whether on a small or large scale

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I mean, I think it's dumbest. You're going to do what you're going to do. Feels a little pointless. $1,523.90 for rent and mortgage utilities. Gas, water, electric. Utilities. That's all electric and probably, it varies between summer and winter, but with electric and this summer, probably 150 is what we've been paying.

Internet? 80 gas between you two driving gas I do 200 dollars a month probably Probably somewhere in that ballpark Really is that cheap?

Yeah From Colleen? She worked from home But you drive down to Austin a lot yeah Once a week maybe Yeah And it's only 200 Yeah it's really not that bad

Car insurances for both Well for across all these cars 280 Yeah somewhere in that ballpark It's not the worst for all that 100 bucks $150,000, $1,000, $150,000, anything else you guys need to survive, $150 bucks

It's makeup, it's toothpaste, it's, you know, shit it's just anything you need to survive I'm not putting anything into the budget for the stupid cars. Necessary food, you guys should be able to do $500 a month. Meal prep, meal prep, meal prep, meal prep,

what's your phone bill? 120. Yeah, our phones are paid off. Okay, switch the healing in that. It's $20 a month for each. Will you guys do that? I don't even know what that is. It's a, it's just another, it's a phone carrier service that uses the other towers.

Okay. So it would be 20 bucks each, 40 bucks a month total. Yeah, I would be willing to look into it. Okay, 40 bucks a month for that then. Good. It saves you money there. Okay, anything else you guys need to survive? Medical?

Anything there? I am paying $25 a month on a medical bill, but it's only $25. What's the balance of that? $3,000. So it's another debt? Okay, anything else? Medical? Monthly basis?

Jim? Anything? No, we don't have a gym membership. Then we pay. Just description. Like Hulu. Nope. Nope.

No, you don't. You absolutely do not. That is not included in your minimum to survive budget, not even close. Okay. What you guys need to survive is $3,630. And a monthly basis. What came in was, it was a good month for comedy, it looks like. Yeah.

Yeah. But that's not normal. No. Okay. So what likely normally comes in? I'm seeing probably... Guessing about $4,500 total across the board. I'd say that's probably about right. Yeah. If you sold your motorcycle, if you sold, let's say, a beater for $1,500, and then you drove the two other cars, okay? Now, let's keep your little passion projects in the garage that you can work on, but we're not getting the new one.

New passion project. But we're not also putting money into the passion project for now until we're out of debt. Then you can do it. Until you have a fully funded. emergency fund and so you start investing, man. The fact that you're not even investing, like if you can get out of this debt, maybe I'll fund your, like I use this investing platform called Mumu. I like it. I would fund your like starting account as just a reward for getting out of this. But I mean, you have to actually make sacrifices. So, okay, let's say 10,000 for the motorcycle and 1,500 for the other one. Cool. Let's just use that and let's, with that, wipe out.

almost all the Mercedes let's say $3,000 is left on the Mercedes after that because well actually no let's not do it that way that's stupid let's destroy both credit card debts and the medical okay now we have the Mercedes

Mercedes with the extra $600 you got uh sorry $900 you guys have left on our monthly basis which is actually pretty darn good and it's the reason why I'm upset that you're willing to just okay actually we're setting 3,000

hours aside from the sale of the car for an emergency fund because you guys don't have savings. Throw that in the savings you do have and then you have like a one month emergency fund. Then we have the medical debt is now back on the table again. Okay. Okay. But we're still going for the Mercedes with your extra $900 a month. $1,000 a month now because we paid off the two credit cards. Takes a year and two months.

Not bad. Mercedes 7% debt is gone. Student loans, none of them are really high interest. either of them. I'd minimum monthly payment them all until they're all paid off. Okay. Now with the student loans or the medical debt, you're able to pay that off in about two and a half months and then get a fully funded emergency fund, which to that point without the minimum monthly debt payments is going to be 18,000. You already have 3,000 in there. You have like an extra 1,000, 400 left on a monthly basis at that point. It takes 10 months. You have a fully

funded emergency fund. I say this takes, yeah. Two years and a quarter. Two years and a quarter, guys, and you're debt-free and you have a fully funded emergency fund, except for your student loans, but that's okay. At that point, you just start throwing 20% to retirement across the household in general. And that actually, I think you guys will actually end up somewhere

really healthy and happy and good. And of course, we're not paying off the mortgage either. Right. They don't have to pay them until that's paid off. Yeah. Guys, I think you're actually in a... I think you actually have a way out of this. You've got to sell those things.

I promise, dude, in five years, you can get them again. you can get nicer versions. Okay? And then we're catching up on retirement. We're starting that, getting a fully funded emergency fund. But that's where I would go. Okay.

You're spending in a budget, total that went out with 7,376. I mean, you're overspending. So zero there. Debt, it's not even close to the worst. There's no, it's a three. It's a three. Certainly not good.

Don't give me wrong. So that's why it's still low, but it's a three. Mergeny fund barely started. So one, retirement, you have a little bit. I don't know what it is, so I can't do anything but one. Real estate, low cost, uh, FHA was a little rough. So we have, you know, we're paying mortgage insurance. But our equity position in the house is okay with the growth that we've had.

Mortgage rates fantastic. You don't like the area. I'm going to give it a six. It's going to be a hammer financial score. Two and a half out of ten. Make sure to check out of the resources linked in the description below as they are what I use or would use in specific situations, including the best budgeting educational program in the history of the internet. Now, stick around for the post show. Today on the Financial Audit Post Show. This is a real cigar, so this is a premium long filler. You know this probably isn't good for us. Oh my God, it kind of tastes like I love the two. The cancer and the early afternoon. To watch the financial audit post show, click the join button below.