Financial Audit - My Biggest Crashout Yet | Financial Audit

Episode Date: November 19, 2025

I call his "mystic" and fully confront her and call her out. It's a huge fight... this is the most intense post-show yet... Watch here: ➡️ https://bit.ly/chpostshow 🎁 Claim the Ultimate Hammer Bundle HERE → https://bit.ly/ultimate-hammer-bundle 🔥 GamerSupps: tasty, cheap ($0.25/serving)! Save 10% with code CALEB: gamersupps.gg/caleb 👉 Checking & Savings: Get up to a $350 bonus with a new Chime® Checking account, and earn up to 3.50% APY on your savings: https://chime.com/calebhammer ============================= *Sponsors for This Video* ============================= Build credit fast with 80% off the first month (that's just $1!) at https://getkikoff.com/caleb today. Thanks to Kikoff for sponsoring us! Download Helium Mobile and sign up with code CALEB 👉 https://app.heliummobile.com/o6WA/vdqufw1r Learn more: https://heliummobile.com ============================= Master Your Money with Caleb Hammer ============================= ⚡️Budget YOUR dream life with my simple courses: ➡️ https://bit.ly/calebhammer ⚡️Check out all of my custom Financial Audit merch: ➡️ https://bit.ly/caleb-merch ============================= *Check Out My Resources* ============================= 👉 I'VE MOVED MY INVESTMENTS TO WEBULL! https://www.webull.com/k/Caleb 👉 Checking & Savings: Get up to a $350 bonus with a new Chime® Checking account, and earn up to 3.50% APY on your savings: https://chime.com/calebhammer 👉 Land a high-paying job with no experience or degree: ➡️ https://coursecareers.com/CalebHammer 👉 Get $20 from Acorns for free: ➡️ https://acorns.com/caleb 👉 First 100,000 Fizz sign-ups with code HAMMER10 get $1.0: https://www.joinfizz.com/caleb 👉 Helium Mobile: Use promo code CALEB for a FREE plan ➡️ https://hellohelium.com/ 👉 Protect your online privacy and security for free with Aura: ➡️ https://aura.com/hammer 👉 Get an exclusive HighLevel 30-day trial: https://gohighlevel.com/calebhammer *Some of the links and other products that appear in this video are from companies for which Caleb Hammer will earn an affiliate commission or referral bonus. This is not investment advice. Sponsorship and business inquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You said this place was steps from the water. We just haven't found the steps yet. How much did we save? Enough. Enough to get lost. Or you could book a stay with Hilton. Welcome to your oceanfront room. Just steps from the water.

The Hilton sale is on now. Book on Hilton.com or the Hilton app and save up to 20% to get the stay you expected. When you want savings, not surprises. It matters where you stay. Hilton, for the stay. Ambition comes in all shapes and sizes. At First Citizens Bank, we roll with your goals because we're built for what you're building.

Fit for your ambition for Citizens Bank. To watch episodes of Financial Audit a week earlier, check us out on YouTube. I was told to come. My mystic, my personal guidance. The fuck is a mystic. You know, they read the cards, they read the stars. The stars said come to Austin for financial audit. How are you affording that?

Ask grandma for some money. You're taking this from a 73-year-old woman. I mean, she has money. I'm a bad bitch and I'm like a boogie lifestyle. I feel my blood pressure rising more than I had felt in any episode in a very long time because I am enraged at you. You should get it checked out then. You're one of the worst people that has sat in that seat in a long time.

Black Friday starts now. Master Your Money, my only one personal finance membership is finally live. It is every single course I've ever made, exclusive content, and a member's only community. Click the link below and become the member of the best money membership on the planet. I'll see you inside. My name is Jason. I'm from Houston, Texas, 29, and this is Financial Audit. Thanks for coming over to Austin.

What are you doing in Houston for a living? I am a debt of freight analyst. Data freight, what's that? Right. Like, I basically, we get the invoices and we're entering the information into our system. I work for, it was a gas company. Yeah. Okay.

Good. Okay. Cool. How many hours? week are you working? It's the salaries. It's hourly. Hourly. I have 40 hours a week. What's your hourly pay? 21.

Houston? Yes. 21's going to search a little less there compared to many other places. Fourth largest city in the country will probably be number three before we know it. But also, you know, compared to many other major cities, it's not like the hyper most expensive, depending on the neighborhood. What hits your account per paycheck? About 13. 13 every two weeks.

That every two weeks? Yeah. 13. How you doing? 12. 13. Is it 12 or 13? I say 13. Just in case, yeah. Okay. And how you doing? 2,600. That's not like living in luxury by any means. We're talking 31,000 net a year.

I mean, I stay at home. I live my parents. You do? Yes. For how long have you been living with your parents? It's not that you can't at 29. Many cultures do. But in our culture, it is a little more odd. and might suggest something of, I don't want to say failure or lazy necessarily,

because they can be good support systems if we ever have to move back as we're figuring things out. But it does suggest something in our culture potentially. I mean, it, yeah, I don't know. I'm still sorry. Well, it's okay. What?

What are you thinking? I mean, yeah, I moved back last summer. Moved back. Yes. Okay. So previously, I was living. at my cousin's house. It didn't work out there.

So I ended up going to my friend's house. Have you ever lived alone? Have you ever lived not with moving into a friend or cousin or parents? No. It's always been with somebody else. Well, you don't make much, I guess,

for the area. Is that why? This drama follow everywhere you live since you're bouncing around places? I mean, sometimes, you know. Sometimes? I don't know. It seems like you're bouncing.

I mean, you know, I like a certain level. lifestyle. Some people don't like it. That I'd be spending money. Lifestyle. Well, they don't like that you're spending money. Why? The drama is you spending money? I don't think so. I mean, yeah. You sure that's the lifestyle they disagree with?

I mean, that could be, that's probably it. Okay. Because you're Hispanic, right? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. The white Hispanic. They exist. We've seen them. There's one behind you. His name's Brandon. But your real name is quite Hispanic. Yes. Or else I honestly would have thought you just white boy. Oh, no, no. I'm Hispanic.

But Hispanics. Hispanics in the gays. Not always the biggest fans. Typically deeply religious. I mean, you do have a cross on your ear. Yes. Is that the gay ear? No. Which was it? The right ear. I think. I don't know.

We don't do sides of gays. We just go full gay. Period. That's it. Okay. Yeah. And but yeah, you have a cross and so, but they haven't kicked you out due to the gayness? I mean... No, so it's about you spending money?

Why do they care if you're spending money unless you're not paying your rent? You're not paying your rent? I mean, I'll pay the rent, but like... So why would they kick you out for spending your $31,000 a year? I guess, like, they want extra money and... Was the extra money agreed on? No.

They just asked for them. Why do they deserve extra money for you to live there if it wasn't agreed? They see that I like to go out. I like to spend money. You can't spend your money the way you want to? Yeah. I guess so. Now, tell me how these conversations went.

that's going on. That seems weird. It would be weird that multiple groups of people would do that same exact thing. Like, if one person did it one off, I could be like, okay, I could see that. They're a little weird. You know, let him do what he wants with his money. If he wants to be a failure, let him be a failure. You know, that's the conversation. I think it's just jealousy, honestly. Jealousy a year? I mean, I guess because, like, they have, like, they have their own house or paying their own bills. They can't really spend much to go out. No, not really. I don't want a house. So you think everyone is petty jealous. Yeah. Where I have a note that when you're with your cousin, you said to Colton that it was too much drama with her and her man. I mean, that also, yeah. I guess he didn't like the way that I spent my money.

I mean? What? That doesn't make any sense. How does it always come back to that? What do you mean? Why does her, your cousin's, man's opinion on you spending your money matter on him living there, huh? He doesn't work. He don't make his own money.

So I guess him seeing me spend my money. So he kicks you out? Well, technically her, but yeah. What? That doesn't make any sense. Can you explain how that makes sense and how that works? I don't know. She just kind of does what he says.

I don't know. She's a breadmaker. She's a what? She's a what? She's a breadmaker. The breadwinner. Yeah. So I'm confused how this worked out.

I feel like I am not getting the full story here, buddy. No. Why you ended up back home with the parents at 29? kicked out from the cousins because the unemployed one didn't like how you were spending your money. I'm confused how that makes sense. They would have to have not liked something else

to kick you out. No, I mean... Fine, call them. Will he back this up? No, their numbers are blocked. Both of their numbers. You bought your cousin. Yeah. I've never blocked a family member, I'll be honest. Oh, I got plenty. We can go through it.

I'm sure you do, and that's why it is suggesting to me. It is likely not just because of how you spent your money unless you're paying for prostitutes come over every day or getting co-c-c-ing all over the table. No. Okay, then that doesn't really make any sense. I don't know.

I just, I'm a bad bitch, and I'm like a boogie lifestyle, and I guess they can't have it. What bougie lifestyle do you live on 31,000 hours a year? I mean... What were you paying them in rent? Them? I think it was like $600 a month. Yeah, I think so.

What was this boogie lifestyle, and why, what, bad... They don't know like bad... What do you mean? No. Or you're a bad-d-d-roo-brimate. No, no. I just like to go out, buy food. Yeah, but I don't understand how that would impact them.

I mean, it's because it can't do it. This does not make any sense. I'm confused. I'm confused. I feel like I am not getting an honest representation of the events that led you back home to your parents. No, yeah, that's it. I mean, after getting kicked out from there, I ended up going to my friend's house. Uh-huh.

I lived there probably like maybe like four, four months, four or five. months. And I guess there. Why aren't you there? It was, well, it was just a small space and like, we had, yes, if you're living, two dogs, if you're living with someone else that's being very nice and letting you crash there, what's wrong with that? I don't know. I guess we were just clashing. Sounds like you clash with everyone. Why were you clashing? Um, well, are you a petty, sassy gay? I mean, because we love a sassy gay. I don't know if we love a sassy gay. I don't know if we love a Sassy Gay. I mean, I can be whatever.

I feel like you're a petty sassy gay. Yeah, I can be. I'm a petty straight. Colton's a sassy gay. We love them, but then you get petty, sassy gay. It's the best. No, it's a supervillain. That can't maintain housing because no one would want to be around them.

I mean, I'm a good vibe. Why are you here? To get some help, I guess, financially. Yeah, what made you decide to come on the show? I was told to come. You're told to come? My personal guidance. She told me that she would see me on the show.

This is a person. A mystic is a person. Yes. The fuck is a mystic? A guidance. Like, how do you not know what a mystic is? The only one that will allow you to be in their life for more than five months because you pay them? No.

You don't pay your mystic? I mean, yeah, I do. Mm-hmm. Used to be monthly. Now we see each other weekly. Oh, you've ramped up the mystic? Well, yeah. What do you have a cross?

Are you, I guess I'm confused on your religion. I mean, I can have a cross and still explore, have fun. What is mystic? If you're mystic advised you to be here, maybe mystic is correct. I mean, you know, they read the cards, they read the stars. They guide you. And the star said come to Austin for financial audit? Yeah.

I mean, my brother also told me. But she was the main one. How much is she? How much is she? Yeah, and you're mystic. Oh, weekly? Yes. About 100 each session.

How are you affording that? Kind of, you know, I ask grandma for some money. I'll tell her like... Grandma? Yeah. But you moved in with mom and dad. And you're asking grandma for money? I'll ask her for, you know, some money for like...

Because I have a dog. Like I said, I have a dog and two cats. And you probably shouldn't? I have a friend, she actually. You probably shouldn't? Well, he's my best friend. And you probably shouldn't. And you probably shouldn't have them.

But yeah, I'll ask her for money. Be like, I need dog food or cat food. Oh, this is why you shouldn't have them. That's disgusting. And then I will go. Come on. That's gross. To my once a week session with my mystic.

26 hits your account on a monthly basis. You spend $400 a month on your... Mystic. 15. Over 15% of your income goes to that. Bullsh-sh-boss. And you can't even afford to take care of your own animals and you move back in with your parents at 29?

I mean... What the fuck are you? They're being fed. Be your grandmother! I mean, I'm her favorite. I call my grandma, abuela. I'm her favorite, so if I ask her, she's so yes. She's your favorite for possibly why.

I'm just the fun one at all the grandchildren. But everyone kicks you out after you live with them. And then you blocked them. Have you blocked your friend? No. I go see her once a week for our weekly sessions. Is that your mystic? Oh, yeah, that's my mystic, yeah.

The one you moved in with? Yes, yeah. What? The fuck. That's my mystic. What the fuck, buddy. This is a mess. That's my best friend.

You moved in with that person and now you're still giving them. Does she know you're her best friend? Because you pay her, you literally pay her to hang out. Yeah, she does. You pay her to hang. Whenever I need to call her also. And what would she consider you? A client.

Yeah. Plus her best friend. No. Yes. You said you'd go see her once a week. If you were best friends, you'd be hanging out outside of that. I mean, we call each other. But when we do our sessions...

I'm sure she charges for it. Yeah, I mean... Does she? Uh-huh. No, not the other calls. But during our sessions, yes. Like, if I have questions about a certain thing or any, you know, some guidance, then, you know, I'll call her for a session. So what's going on in here?

Because we know you don't make a lot of money for the area. You move back in with parents after crashing out with everyone and your only friend is someone you pay. What is happening in here? What's going on? What are we talking about today? Dead. I'm glad your Mystic's a friend of the fan of the show. Thank you, Miss Mystic.

Here, we're here today to talk about my debt. Your dad. Oh. Yeah, why you? How much that you have? I think. I don't quite remember. His lifestyle you got.

What did it result in? I don't remember. You don't remember. I don't look at the bank account. I just spend. No, what? How much that do you think you have? Come on.

Sorry. Maybe like 26,000 in debt. Oh, f f-f-f-fink. Oh, you're a, you're a. You're, oh no, you're the... version of a petty, sassy gay. 60,710. And 81 cents.

Yeah. That, it's a big amount. You're poor. You're poor. In what world... No. Go on. Tell me how you're not poor.

I mean, like I said, I'll just ask grandma for some money. Would that not indicate poor? No, because I still get money. For, you don't have money. I mean, I have other people I talk to and if I ask them for money, they'll send it to. I don't know. You don't know your net worth? No.

Okay. Well, your checking and savings combined is $15.64. Oh, yeah. So I would suggest your net worth is negative almost $61,000. You are broke. You are poor. You have nothing. You have nothing.

I mean. You get money from grandma indicating that you are a child. You move back in with mommy and daddy, not necessarily a bad thing in most cultures, but in our cultures suggest you are a child. I mean, I do make money. After getting kicked out for multiple people, including the one you pay to be your friend. Uh-huh. Yeah, you get money $30,000 a year.

And I'm not shaming you for that, but look how you're living with it. What, you get more than that? Are you saying, is there a side hustle? Well, there's that. And then also about the job part. I actually got laid off. So I don't have a job. Maybe when I got the call from here actually.

What does this little sound you make after that? I mean... You always go, ha. I don't know. So I ended up being... You know, you're a dick. We don't want people to come on that don't have a f***ed job. You get the call and then you get laid off our thorns and you don't let us know you're a prick.

And I'll still do this because there's going to be people... Listen, it's a high late-off year actually, so more people relate to it than before, unfortunately. I mean, I applied for unemployment, so hopefully something will be coming in. Yeah, why'd you get... It sounds more like fired than laid off because you mentioned being late. But go ahead. What happened? I mean, yeah. Tell me what happened.

Basically, that morning, I had got a call from the producers. I was... I mean, I was sitting outside at work, so I was on the camera at work. But... Are you saying we got you fired? I mean... You decided to take the call. Well, I mean, I had to.

I wanted to be on the show. Yeah, but you could have contacted a different time, please. Thank you. No, I didn't want to miss the call. Anyway, so I ended up taking the call. I was late, like maybe 10 minutes. So I guess they marked it off as a strike. So as soon as I walked in, they said...

My boss had texted me, let's go into the meeting room to have a little chance. went to the meeting room. She said that I had been continuously late. Okay. So it wasn't the call. It wasn't us. It was you've been late consistently. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it.

10 minutes, 10, 5 minutes that I've been late. Uh-huh. Well, this was like the third strike for her. Uh-huh. But I also think, I don't think they really liked me there, honestly. Probably not. No one seems to like you anywhere. Have you realized that yet?

Are you picking up the trend? That's their problem. Not mine. Actually, it ends up being your problem. I don't think they're affected anymore. They fired you. They got rid of the person they didn't like. Now you don't have money.

But I did my job. Late. But it was done. It's obviously against their rules. You have to follow the rules of the employer. I mean, I wasn't dealing with being late. Huh? There was other people being late too.

Cool. They're probably getting strikes you, Titt. Or they use it as an excuse to fire you because you were miserable to be around. No. You don't know. I think I'm a foreign person to be around. Okay, but every single instance of everyone you've told me about, it tries to get away from you and the only person that's sticking around is someone you pay.

Oh, your mystic works there too. Oh, my. Oh, yeah. She's the one that got me the job. We had a session. Well, they'll never accept her referral again. I don't know. But anyways, yeah, I had no job at the time either.

I told her I was having these issues. I didn't know what to do. So we had a quick little session. She read my card. She said that she had saw me. working with her. So I ended up applying. And I got the job.

But yeah, she got fired a couple months after. For what? For being late also. You needed to detach yourself from this person. You both are failures. No. I mean, she guides me to, she guided me here. Dude, she guided you to the job that you both got fired from. But I mean, I still had the job, though.

You don't today. Isn't that all that matters? What are you doing? So how long, when did you get that call? How long have you been laid off for? What are we in October? Okay, Colton told me you told him you think you got fired because you're gay. Yeah, it goes back to my lifestyle. Like, I'm so sorry. Okay, the lifestyle you've talked about this entire-

I worked with older women that were always jealous. What? Women love gays? Um, not them. Clearly not? Yes. Go on. And we're gonna need more information than that. If this is a discriminatory lawsuit that you're able to get money from, please describe. Well, I mean, I know they think they're- didn't like me because multiple occasions I caught them talking about me.

Well, no shit. No one likes you, but it's probably not because you're gay. I mean, well, it could be. I don't dislike you because you're gay. I dislike you because you're not able to reflect on anything that's happened in your life and realize a pattern. I mean, everybody has different opinions. You might like me because I'm gay. They might, they didn't. Are you able to suggest any type of proof or examples that would indicate they didn't like you because you're gay?

Maybe I was the only gay guy working there. Do you know that? I don't know. I mean, that was. I knew that. That's not proof. That's not proof. I mean, they didn't like me to begin with.

They didn't even like me before I started working there. Tyler's the only black producer we have here. And if I fire him for being a producer, doesn't mean I fired him for being black. That's not how it works because you're the only gay person there. I mean... If I have to fire Colton because he's about at his job, well, we're surrounded. by like 50 other gays at the company. I mean, there was different things.

I always caught them conversating. I mean, I went to the boss. The boss didn't like me, so she didn't do much. Then I went to HR. Nothing was done either. And then eventually let go. Because they were talking about your back? Yeah.

Well, I don't know. They weren't the people firing. They were just your coworkers, right? I mean, one of them was the team lead. So, I mean... You very clearly got your three strikes within a certain period of time for being late, and that is very obviously the reason you got fired.

How are you connecting this anything else? You know you were late. You saw the strikes. You knew the policy. I mean, I always talk. And it's not the first time that when they don't like someone, their goal is to get them fired. It's been proven multiple times. Uh-huh.

Are you just throwing away the thing I just said where you knew the policy? You recognized that you were late and you got fired for it. I mean, I told them I was going to be late. So it's not like I wasn't letting them know. Besides that last time, I didn't know that about. So what's the goal now? How long is staying at home? I want to move out.

You want to move out? Yes. Okay. How long have you been unemployed now? August? September. One of those two. Beginning of September.

Now I remember. Uh-huh. And what have you done to try to go get another job? I mean, I've been applying to jobs. Mm-hmm. But that's it. How many? Are you curating your resume specifically for each job?

So this is the best job market? I'll be honest. Luckily, you're in a major city that helps you a lot. That's where the jobs are. I mean, I guess. In Texas, it's a booming economy. I think it was the second fastest growing economy. Thanksgiving's great and all, but between flights, grocery bills, and early Black Friday

deals, your wallet might be less thankful this year. And that's why today's sponsor, Kickoff deserves some appreciation. It's the number one credit building app in the app store, and it makes building credit simple even if you've messed up before. I used to think credit was for boomers with mortgages. But it turns out, it's... It's literally for everything. Kickoff helped me get my act together without overcomplicating it.

Plans started just $5 a month, no credit checks, no hidden fees. And if you're under 600, users see an average credit bump of 84 points in the first year with on-time payments. Set up auto pay, kickback, and let your credit grow with every on-time payment. It is that easy. Start building credit with Kickoff today and get your first month for as little as $1. That is 80% off the normal price when you go to getkickoff.com slash Caleb. that has Kickoff without the C, get to K-I-K-K-O-F-F dot com slash Caleb.

Thanks again to kickoff for sponsoring. Let's get back to the video. Want to know a dirty little secret? And no, I'm not starting an only f***. You're not broke because you suck with money. You just can't see where it's going. If your bank account is empty at the end of every month, that is not bad luck.

That is bad tracking. And it's exactly why I use dollar-wise. It shows you exactly where your money is going every single month. Spending, subscriptions, and savings all in one-scent. simple dashboard, everything you need and nothing you don't. And when you download dollar wise today, you'll get to try it for free, plus three months for just $9.99. So you can finally take control and see what your money's been doing behind your back.

Click below to get started. I mean I'd be number one, but there's also like no economy there or North Dakota. There's like barely an economy there so it's easy to grow it percent wise. You're over here. Either way, whatever. Good opportunities here. I mean, I've been applying to jobs. I just, I don't get to. them.

Oh, no. I mean, I first up my resume. Per job? Or just what? No, just in general. You have to. Per job. Because it gets put through like an AI filtering thing.

And then maybe you'll get a job, a call from the recruiter. What types of jobs are we trying to get? Well, I did go last year to school for an accounting assistant certificate. Did you get it? I did. But, I mean, I've been applying for accounting assistant positions since then. I haven't got anything. Everyone's experience.

This isn't really investing in people right now. I mean, I'll take a look at your resume later in the episode or in the post show, but I'll get you an accounting certification through course careers. A lot of people have gotten that in the audio. It's time to refresh your yard during spring backyard days at the Home Depot. Get low prices guaranteed on propane grills starting at $179, like the next grill three burner gas grill, or get $50 off a select Weber Spirit grill and bring big flavor to your backyard.

Then set the scene with Hampton Bay string lights that bring it all together. Together. Shop spring, backyard days for seven days at the Home Depot. Now through May 6th. Exclusion supplies to at homedipo.com slash price match for details. A answer on the show, and it's helped them increase their revenue substantially or their income or get a better job. So hopefully that'll help, but this is a tough job market. I also, is where you need every tool. Take classes in July for bartending as well. But no job either.

I mean, I haven't been applying, but that's it. No jobs yet. The f f*** is a bartending class. Like you learn how to bartending, make the drinks. Most people learn by getting the job! I don't know. I wanted to learn first. YouTube. YouTube was boring. It didn't really teach stuff.

Bulls. Bulls. Bulls. That's why I took the classes instead. But I haven't finished paying off the classes yet either. Of course. How much did you spend on your bartending classes? It was 600 for the class. I think I still owe $300.

entry in. But I did get my T-A-B-C already, though. Huh? I think that was like $15. To be able to handle alcohol. That's what it is. Oh, right. Yeah. Okay. And the food handlers. Okay. Here's the thing, big guy. Here's the thing. This boogie lifestyle that you're obsessed with living, which is why you think people don't like you, by the way, that's not the reason. But either way. This bogey lifestyle, in what way do you think you're able to still sustain it when I have the month of September here? And if that is apparently the month that you are unemployed, your spending should not essentially be anything other than minimum necessities.

Well, that's why I came to you. No, no, no, no, no, no. Yes, I can make a budget for you if you follow it. You try to make a good. To teach me how to make more money. But I would say if you were stuck living in the bougie lifestyle cycle, if we don't change that, you're, you can't get you out of booge. The desire for booge, I can't get you out of you. It would have to be managing heavily.

Yeah. How well was spent last month in the month that you were unemployed, please. Come on. What was it? Oh, money's coming in from weird sources. But yeah, what was spread? I really don't know either. Think.

Put yourself in the last month. Think about what you were doing. How much you think was spent? Maybe like $600 in... Oh, wait, we just ended September. Yeah, maybe like $1,000. Yeah, $3,410.15.2. Buddy, you're broken.

You don't know anything about your numbers at all. No. You don't know your debt. You don't know your spending. I don't even believe that $2,600 that came in anymore. And now it's not. Wait, why am I? Okay, Colton's texting me that you can't get a bartending certificate or license.

I mean, why? I don't know. Because you haven't paid for the full class yet. Well, yeah, that's true. I mean, but I took the classes, so I did learn. And I also have my T-A-B-C. So, I mean, it kind of balances out. Yeah, how many bar-tramed?

What about your resume for the bartending jobs? I have it at the bottom of a resume, the accounting assistant certificate, and the bartending license. Uh-huh. And what's your job experience showed for the bartending?

Nothing. Just the classes we're taking? No jobs. No jobs are listed there? No. And your bartending on the resume to apply for jobs? No. So you're showing 29 years old

never worked a job in your life? No, I mean, I have my jobs, but not for bar-tending. Good. What jobs? Oh, I mean, the one that I had. Yeah. Yeah. So you know what's going to happen, right? Because unfortunately, the bartender would be a big switch because you don't have that experience. I take the accounting thing off at the bottom for the bartending jobs. And I would try to curate and slightly manipulate your resume a little to navigate towards the bartending because what they're going to see is they're looking for, what they're going to see is that they would hire you and you're going to be there only for a couple months because you would leave to get the job you actually wanted. You have to curate to the job, make it look like you want to stay like you want that job. You have to play. the game. Okay, okay.

I'll do it. I'll try. Mm-hmm. Okay, big guy. What do you think your financial score is? Zero to ten, zero being the worst, ten being the best. Ah. I give it like a five in between.

Explain. I mean, I like to spend. Most of my bills are paid, if I remember. Some of them will get paid. So I give it a fire. So that's middle of the road. Sometimes we pay our bills. What are you?

A Leo. I don't know even know. I don't know when that is. And what comes with it? It's an audience. I don't give up. Well, if you want your financial score, take the assessment. It is free at Calebhammer.com.

Just takes you a few minutes. You can see where you stand, where you need to do better, where you're already doing pretty well. If you don't want to be like a guest on this show, make sure you download the dollar-wise budgeting app. It is my preferred budgeting app. Sign up for the free trial. And if you like it, sign up for the end. annual version to save a ton of money. And if you do, I will sign personally budget, my budget-friendly cookbook, and I'll mail it directly to you. And that is going away in just a couple months.

So last opportunities, pop it up now. Dollarwise.com to learn more there. Okay. I'll jump into these documents. Okay. This venture one. Yeah, you have it. I mean, I see, I see things on here. And again, you can't afford to take care of this animal. It's very selfish for you. So you just have one dog, right? At least? No. No, because you said you have a few cats.

What was the animal situation? Dog-wise, so personally, I have one dog. But I did have other dogs. You had other dogs? Yeah, I kind of gave them to my mom. Pushed them to the side. I have... Did she want them?

No. Is she managing them? Yes. I mean, but the dogs love them. Three dogs. You just dropped three dogs off of the house and said, good luck? Four. Four?

Mm-hmm. Two chihuahuas up here. Why the f-doxed you can't afford to take care of yourself? It is so selfish and disgusting of you. I wanted the dogs. I wanted the inside dog. Why did it? Exactly, you did.

You're selfish. You're nasty. You're disgusting. Well, they didn't want to be inside. They wanted to be outside. What? So I kind of just pushed them to my mom. Huh? What does that have to do with anything? Well? Them being outside. Yeah.

Take them on walks. Walk them to be in a... a dog caretaker, owner, whatever the fuck you want to call it, parents. Beforehand, when I had my apartment before all this, way back when, I would get... What, two years ago? Maybe, yeah, yeah. Yeah, way back when. I would get dogs.

Well, I would get a dog, and I wanted them to be inside dogs. But they wouldn't want to be inside. So... Yeah, dogs like to go outside. No shit, you fucking tit. Yeah, so I just gave them to my mom. And the cats... Yeah.

Cats were kind of... Friends would give me cats and I would kind of just give it to my mom. Her house is bigger than my old apartment. How many square feet? Huh? How many square feet? It's her house. I have no idea.

How many bedrooms and bathrooms? Five bedrooms, two bathrooms. Just because it's that many rooms, it's not a big house though. Not humongous. That's what I was assuming with two bathrooms. Yeah. And it's just... And it's just loaded up with animals.

And you can't take care of to save your life. It's very selfish. I mean, they're fed. So what has your debt payoff strategy been, if anything? So, Michael, I mean, is to be debt-free by 2026. Good. Yeah, but how are you supposed to be accomplishing that? By what my mystic had told me.

When we had one of her sessions, she kind of read my cards and told me by 2026, I would be debt-free. The card said that? No. You know what actions you're not? Yes, the cards. actually have to put in. It's you building a budget, following it, making sacrifices, going out and getting a... killing. Oh, dude, it's not a... card. It's what? Your actions!

It doesn't just happen to what? You're going to win the lottery? You're going to get hit by a car and you're going to be able to sue for a lot of money? Like, what's going to happen? What was the... What did the cards say was going to happen to get you there, big guy? I mean, the car's just read that I would be debt-free and successful in the year 2020. 26, sorry. How? How? Which, by the way, is only in a few months when it starts, but how? Everything is possible.

How? I don't know. Come on. Let's see that. What's the strategy? I can do only fan. No, you can't. Oh, what do you mean?

No. You're not that guy. Try me. No, no, thank you. You are the Hispanic, puffier-cheek version of me and gay. Look, we both got a five-head. Put on, that was my, that was my gayer hair. before I started doing perms.

You do look like the Hispanic, gay, puffy-cheek version of me. You're not that guy. The better version. You're not that guy. I am. I'm a bad bitch. Put this on. Oh my god.

Don't touch the lens is like your fucking animal. Now, editor, bring in when I had this haircut. Bring in when I had this haircut. Even with white contacts, the fact that I can see with your glasses. Specter! That's me, because I'm committing crimes. Can you not see without them? I'm...

My contacts. What is the wrong with you? You're not wearing them? Yeah, I am. Give me. So we're twins? No, you're the Puffy Taco version. My twin flame. There we go.

Huh? Twin Flame. We're connected. I'm just saying, you're not that guy. I'm not that guy. We're not that guy. I am that guy. You're not that guy.

You're not that guy. No, you would not be able to post whole. No one's paying for whole. I mean, I already have it. I know you have hole. No. No, an only fan. And how?

Did you know this? Colton didn't even know this. My bad. I mean, I don't really, I mean, I post on it. How much you make? Nothing. Uh-huh. So that's your strategy is to keep posting on the thing that brings in zeroed out.

Is it literally zero? I think I have like 20 bucks on it right now. What is that? Two subs? Yeah, I think so. No. I think it was one, just reoccurring, though. Someone who forgot to cancel.

Someone who was curious a long time ago. and didn't forget. I still get paid for it? No shit, but it's not like actively going for you. And what? You're just every once in a while posted a hole for him? I mean, I also have plants that I sell.

It's probably the mystic, isn't it? No. She's lesbian. Uh-huh, but she's supportive of her boy. Of course. But yeah. I also do sell plants on the side. So that kind of helps?

Does that mean weed? I'm not a crack kid, okay? Well, it's weed, not crack. Still. No. I'm also, you know, taking the Hispanic nature of the things. Oh! No. I sell plants, just regular plants. And? I have 350 plants.

So, I sell a lot of those. And? I mean, that's some type of money. How much? I mean... Why, I get to it? $5, $10. Shut the fuck up. So I can't add it to this.

I mean... A month on average. How much? Maybe like $100. I don't believe that. It's the money? What is your fake little laugh at there? Everything is obnoxious.

It's fun. No, it's not. You know you're in a podcast. Every single second of audio is being recorded right now, and you're just making little boos constantly. Okay. Not giving you the second person to sign up for that. O-F, I'll tell you that.

We can try. You can certainly try. I'll post more. No. You're not that guy. Capital One Venture 1. $2,083.29. Minim due $149.

I think it's usually, what, 75? Because that is probably amplified due to... A past payment. Now why? Now why? Why? Because you're getting unemployment. You had money.

You're making money. Your parents cover. everything your grandma gives you money. Why? Why are you laid it on a $75 payment, which is now doubled to $150? Why? Well, because I took a trip to Chicago. Who the fuck are you to think you get to... Is that funny? I mean, I have to go see Lady Gaga. She's not coming to Houston. Well, now, no, she's coming to Austin and Dallas, not Houston. But beforehand, she wasn't, so I had to go see her in Chicago. Great concert, by the way. Well, unemployed? Yeah. You're a joke.

Gotta have fun. No, you're a f*** joke. No, that's not a joke. You're a joke. You're a child. I have fun. You do not get to splurge, go to a concert when unemployed, and you owe money, and you're living off of your grandmother. You disgusting creature.

Who are you? What kind of entitlement piece of shit is in front of me right now? What is wrong with you? Nothing. You don't get to go to Lady Gaga, certainly not across the fucking country, south to north. It was fun, though. I'm sure it was. was, you disgusting beast.

I mean, the tickets were already paid for. I just bought the plane ticket and the hotel. Exactly happens when it was the plane ticket. Um, like 300, 300, 300. You're, you're disgusting. You borrow almost that much from your grandma a month, and you take that and go to Chicago for Lady Gaga. That is, is, are you not recognizing how disgusting that is?

No. Because I went to go have fun. Selfish asshole. Well, I have to live life. No, you can live life when you afford to do it. You are stealing from grandma to try to make it sound like you're paying the bills and then you're taking a flight. You're a disgusting, selfish piece of shit. I'm being candid right now.

You are a bad person. Well, no, you're a bad person. Well, I have to have fun. No, you are a bad person. I need you to know you are a bad person. And that's okay. You're accepting of it. You're okay with being a bad person

because it's not like you're impacting a random person on the street. This is your grandmother. Well, I know she has money, so I mean... Oh, wow. Wow. Oh, my goodness. If I don't have it, I can ask for it. Wow, you're horrible.

You're a degenerate. You are horrible, man. I'm not saying this. these is an insult, I am saying for you to know, if no one has ever told you the truth and reality about you being a dog-sha-version of a human, you're a bad person. Straight up. Not really. No.

Go ahead. Tell me how. And what rebuttal would there be? I mean, I still help out. So, I'm not that bad of a person. Tell me you still help out. I mean, like when she asked, like, if I could take it to doctors all. office. I'll take her. Or she has a cat too. She has two cats. So if they need help.

Why do you work to the doctor you think is worth manipulating her for money? Because you tell her you're going to pay your bills and then you're dough and then you fly to Chicago with the money or give it to your friend who you pay to be your friend. My mistake. For 15% a month of your past income. I guess that doesn't even count anymore.

You're a piece of sh- And then the lodging and food. How much did you spend in Chicago? Maybe like six. 700. Yamava Resort and Casino at San Manuel is California's number one entertainment destination for today's superstars. Catch the Jonas Brothers return to

the Yamava Theater stage on April 30th, the powerful vocals of Demi Lovato on May 17th, and the signature Southern Country Rock of Eric Church on July 19th. Tickets on sale now at Yamavatheater.com. Only at Yamava Resort and Casino celebrating its 40th anniversary.

You in? Must be 21 to enter. That was the hotel, the Ubers, the food going out. He spent $1,200, $1,200 to $1,300 on this trip while unemployed and getting the money from your grandma to pay your bills. And then we look in your behind on a credit card so that you can go to Lady Gaga in Chicago. Gross. Again, it was fun. No. Oh, my goodness.

I don't. I don't. What do I do with someone like you? I know it was fun. No one's arguing that. I want to be clear. And I also want to be vitimately clear. I actually want you to go.

I have another concert this week too, actually. Where? Where? In Houston. How much did you spend on it? I think that ticket was like 120. What's the concert? Marina and the diamonds.

Like pop music. And when did you get it? I think right before I got laid off. It's a little more reasonable. Listen, you probably still couldn't have afforded it. But I want to be again clear as day. I want you to go to Chicago to see Lady Gaga if you want to. But only if you do not have any bad debt because that is holding you back in life and creating risk over your head that you were now realizing because you had to move it back in with family because you got laid off and you did not actually set yourself up for any type of success, whatever.

And only when you can fit it. into 30% of your income because you are at minimum contributing 20% for retirement. After that, I want you to do it. I want you to blow 30% on whatever the fuck you want. It can be anything. I have another concert to go to also.

That was in November though. That was in Dallas. Remembers next month. Yeah. Don't try to bring language to it like it's a year from now. It is next month in Dallas, meaning you are spending

gas, you're getting food, and you're likely getting a hotel. Oh, yeah. From grandma. You're disgusting. That's how I bought the ticket. No. To be very clear, you are one of the worst people that has sat in that seat in a long time.

It's okay. No. Like, actually, deep down person. I've had people that are annoying me for various reasons. I have had bad debt. You're one of the worst people to sit there. You are disgusting. Manipulating your grammar for money to pay your bill.

and you don't pay your bills and then you go to Chicago. I have to live my life. You. You shouldn't even be getting help right now. You shouldn't even have me go through your finances. Instead, if people weren't enjoying this episode, I would stop her right now and I'd tell you to go fuck yourself. But instead, I'll tell you to go fuck yourself,

but I'm going to at least keep going. And I'll put on the only fan. Let's talk about phone bills, because why are we still paying $100 a month just to check emails and scroll on TikTok longer than we should be? Helium Mobile is today's sponsor, And honestly, it is flipping the entire phone industry on its head. They've got a zero plan for zero dollars.

No contract, no credit card, just free cell service. Yeah, free. You bring in your own phone, your own number, and suddenly, you're not getting ripped off anymore. And if you're a parent, they've even got a $5 month kids plan because your kid doesn't need unlimited data to text you, I forgot my lunch. And the coverage, it's legit.

You get nationwide 5G and a first of its cost. network powered by regular folks across the United States by tapping into the community-built helium network instead of depending solely on the big towers. They're able to keep costs low without compromising coverage. And here's the kicker. They'll reward you with cloud points for just using your phone. You can cash those in for stuff like Amazon and Apple gift cards. So yeah, stop letting your carrier rob you blind. Download helium mobile today at heliummobile.com. Let's get back to the episode. Win, win.

You get money and I get money. These are called affiliates, and you get that sweet, sweet cash for signing up for some amazing products. The first one is Chime. This is a checking account that I personally use, and you get up to a $350 bonus with a new Chime checking account, and earn up to 3.5% APY on your savings. And second, my investing app of choice these days is Weeble, and get a 2% match on all of your money that you transfer over. And finally, sign up for automated investing with acorns.

The sign-up bonus is only five bucks, but with my link, you get $20. Ladies and Gents, you get money, I get money. Enjoy! Links are in the description below. And no one will watch, not even the one who forgot to cancel. I have my followers. Hey, at least the one will be paying, though. When you buy the Dallas tickets, asshole?

I think after I got laid off. I have to go. You do not. Yes. Why do you have to? It's Dom Dala. I have to go. Okay, that means nothing to me.

Why do you have to go, though? Because he never comes. So I want to go see him. Is this true, Brandon? You like DJs. Brandon's saying no and he lives in Dallas. You don't know what you're talking about. It's Dom Dala.

You are wrong. He played ACL and then he played after it's at Emo's. Oh, I didn't know that one. I know ACL because I went there. You are wrong. That's how I want to see him again. So it's again. So you're not even right.

It's not that he never comes. He just did Austin City Limits. Last year. Awesome. A.C. Awesome. City limits. City limits.

Music festival and then went to a club afterwards. Why didn't know that one? You're a piece of shit. You're lying. I have to go see now. And trying to manipulate me about how this is a once in a lifetime thing when you've already done it. Shut up. So?

I want to see him again. I actually had tickets to go to ACL. For next weekend. So you're getting a hotel for three days because there's no way you're driving from Houston every day. For, no, not ECO. I'm not going to ECO. going to ACO. I want to. You just said you were.

No, I went last year. I said I had tickets for next weekend. Not anymore, though. You sold them. Why? I really didn't like the lineup. That's why. Not because he was trying to be a good person. Do you realize what you are?

A bad bitch. You... A bougie bitch. That... I need to go to concerts. 13 years to pay this off. minimumity payments only if you don't purchase and you're not even making your minimum with your payments and you're certainly not purchasing because you're over the limit by $83. $29 because you don't make payments because you're selfish and irresponsible and a child

and immature in every way whatsoever. Okay. Yeah. There's no disagreement that it's impossible. What? Now you say you got to spend. This makes no sense. Every time there's anything you've ever done long, it's I got to.

Huh? Yes. Why do you got to? Because I want to go out. So I have to. So you want. Now you got. You want.

Same thing. No, it is not. You need to pay your electricity bill. You want to go get drinks at the bar. They are not the same thing. So I got to go to get drinks. This is because you are a spoiled brat whose mommy and daddy and grandma have enabled his or they-them's lifestyle, they-them's entire life.

And you're a fucking freak now. You're a piece of shit who's a scourge on this planet that we should honestly lock up. You're welcome. Keep you away from the rest of us. Well, not a homophobic thing. I just mean he's a piece of... To be very clear. So I know some people will read that out of context.

You're just a piece of shit. Anyone that takes advantage of their family like you, go to the dirt. Not death. But fuck you. You hold the rest of the rest. of us back. You hold back the human race. You're nasty. No. I'm fun. No, because this is the least fun 47 minutes I've currently sat through in months.

Well? You're horrible. And I'm making sure I reiterate that over and over again, because I don't think people have told you that enough in your life. I have 29 years to catch up on for that. You can say it. I'll just say I'm fun. You've dumbed. Have you been listening? It's okay. Right. Past due. Total interest this year so far, almost 500 bucks.

At a 28.99% interest rate. Sometimes people say, I'm too mean. I just open it. If this isn't warranted, I don't know what is. Okay, what is this? Afterpay, affirm what? Affirm what am I looking at? What are you affirming while living at home with your parents

and being enabled by them? Let me see. I have a couple of Amazon orders. Ticket master? I did. Oh yeah. Pay for your shit. Well, technically, yes.

What? Well, because that one, what? That one's for Tuesday. So, it's not just me and myself going. It's five other people. But I put most of the payment down. So my payment's only $5. What?

Huh? Splitting that payment between all of us. I had to put a month or whatever? Yes. Yeah. So they gave you money to make the payment. Mm-hmm. Let's hope they don't f*** that up.

No. Pull it by your firm. Let me see. You owe a total of $2,029.91. What do you do? Okay, I have it up. Trading at Schwab is now powered by Ameritrade, giving you even more specialized support than ever before.

Like access to the trade desk, our team of passionate traders ready to tackle anything from the most complex trading questions to a simple strategy gut check. Need assistance? No problem. Get 24-7 professional answers and live help and access support by phone, email, and in-platform chat. That's how Schwab is here for you to help you trade brilliantly.

Learn more at Schwab.com slash trading. Do you want to see it? Amazon, I don't remember what I ordered from there. Oh, wait, it went blank. Let me see. Oh. So 29, 24, it's a $24 and $36 payment a month. You're losing interest like crazy.

I know for a fact with a payment that low, you're at about 36% interest. Amazon. Not all the orders are mine, though. It's always convenient. But I can tell you which ones they are. Wired earbuds. It looks like Apple ones. They're not.

Yeah, that was my phone. I thought they were. You really aren't? Well, my bet. I just clicked on the top one. Oh, fuck. He's usually supposed to be. Oh, he's.

Ooh, okay. Okay. Okay. We should keep you at home. No, I should be out. I think you shouldn't move out. I think I deserve it. You got shit to

break the soil. Like I said, none. Most of them are not mines. Nut milk bag. That one is my cell. Classic juice bottle. Omega 3 fatty acids. Cruise essential flat plug. You're not going on a cruise, are you, asshole? No.

Good. It's an outlet. Not a cruise. Oh, the brand is cruise essentials. Field pump mounting plate. a marshal cat water fountain yeah you definitely didn't have water for them ever before right absolutely you don't need to get that right now black satin fabric by the yard some screw eye pin screws 100 piece nursery growing bags we know that's you and you're not getting a return on investment five pack 10 gallon thickened grow bags right i'm glad this guy's allowed to have all these hobbies will not

working and taking from his grandma to go to Chicago for a Lady Gaga concert. What a dick. More nursery bullshit. Organic dog shampoo. That is a more budget-friendly way than going to the groomer. So I can appreciate that to a certain point. Obviously, make sure you take care of their, like, when they get on matted up or whatever it's called. Calendar.

Yeah, none of us have calendars on our phones. Privacy, iPhone, sticker. Endless. endless cat litter. For all the cats. The ordinary. You got lots of the ordinary skin care. Lots of the ordinary skin care.

Nourishing oil to foam cleanser. It's not working, buddy. It's not working. And two, there's no point anyway. You're scrunching your forehead so much you're going to look like you're 80 at 30. That's okay. That's what Bulldogs for. Which you have not done in a preventative matter.

It's okay. I can still go get in. You see that for everything. Okay. Great. Wonderful. You got a daily planner. Again, definitely don't have no absolute.

on our iPhone. Endless bags of cat litter. Lots of plant stuff. We got a fan. I mean, it's just like, you don't need to be doing this hobby right now. You don't,

let's get your subscriptions over here. You don't need to be doing these hobbies right now when you're sitting there manipulating your family. It is disgusting. You should be spending

all your time curating your resumes for the specific jobs that you are trying to do, but you're not even doing for your bartending job. I thought it was just one resume, that's it.

I mean, it's under that I did the bartending classes. Apple Music, ICloud Plus, had Audible, had Instagram a couple times. Multiple different. Oh, he's paying for a few. Instagrams. He also, you know what he's paying for? Unfollow tracker. He's following who's unfollowing

him. What are you, a middle schooler? Well, I got to unfollow if you're not going to follow me? Such a... Yeah, I told you he was a petty, sassy gay. I told you. I know the shit. And then Face Ship High face, face shape, finder. I think that was an editing app.

I know you need it. I think, not for that. Oh, Colton's calling you a plant gay. That's true. I forgot that term. Yes. I forgot that term. You are a plant gay.

You can't afford to be a plant gay right now, though. It can't. It's not the time. You should be spending all your plant gay time on gay applying to jobs. I mean, I applied to jobs. Not in the way that is obviously working, though. Five a week. a week's a joke. You're a joke. Oh, what a disgusting

animal. What are disgusting animal? I mean, I'm still applying, though. Shut the fuck up. Not in any kind of way. So it's not like I'm not trying. You're applying minimum way to probably keep unemployment for a while. Any other kind of benefits you're getting. You spend over a thousand hours on plant seeds. Yes. What? It's a variegated one. What? You want to see I have a picture of it. Shut the, no. Never. Not once will I ever. look. Care credit. What happened with this? This is... That's for the animals. Because you're an irresponsible person that got animals when you couldn't afford to deal with them.

Yes, who would have thought? But I'm taking care of them. Well, that's for their shots. And then you can't, asshole. No, that's not true. 1,324 dollars and 88 cents. You can do that one more time. And then it's maxed out. And then as they have an emergency, how the fuck you're going to cover it. Good luck. Good luck to them. Bad owner. No. They got their vaccines and everything. Minim monthly payment, $44. You did the best. You did the best. You did the best. You did the bare minimums. You're not able to take care of an emergency. You're not able to take care and there will be. They're animals. They go crazy. Especially if a lot of them are outside all the time, they will eat something or get injured by something. Like you... Well,

then we'll ask grandma what's of our own money again? Then they're taking care of. Honestly. I mean, I don't know how... Shut the fuck up. I'm talking. That's all that matters. I'm talking. Mr. Vice President, I'm speaking. I have to weigh it. Well. I don't know how. You are comfortable. Living the life you do, living in your own skin, being this disgusting creature that you are.

A great vibe that I am. No. Yes. Objectively, no. No one that talks about their grandma like that has any kind of good vibe. You are a vibe that is a plague to anyone around you. You and your other person that you pay, your vibe queen, whatever you call her, mystic.

Bring each other down. No. Yes. Look where you both are. You're both failures. You do nothing. And you're losers. And you manipulate people to get what you want and live the life you want.

Exactly. But fun. I'm living my life. At the expense of others. Yes. I mean, if I want to do it, I have to do it. There's a concert I want to go to. I have to go to it.

What if you want to have sex with someone who doesn't want to have sex with you? then I won't do it. So where do you draw the line? You're okay with using other people's money when they don't necessarily want to do it for the things that you want to do it for? Because you're okay with doing a lot of things that other people don't want to do.

If they don't draw the line, then I'm not going to draw the line either. No, your grandma thinks she's giving you the money to pay the bills. That is what you said earlier. Yeah, to pay the dog food, cat food, things like that. So where do you draw the line? I mean, they have food. Oh, gosh. Oh, you're impossible.

You might be the biggest... Where is he? On the line of being the biggest piece of shit on financial audit. The farthest. Are you proud of that? Are you proud of being a horrible, horrendous person? I'm not, though. Yes, you are.

Can you give me anything that suggests that you're not? Like I said, I mean, I help out. Dude, driving her to the doctor here and there. Yeah, sure, great. You did a minimum basic responsibility of a grandson. Well done. Take care of her animals when she needs it. Once in a while, though.

I think I'm a good person, though. Oh, my, fuck. Yeah, you know what? a good person doesn't do. When you're maxed on your firm, you have affirmed via your brother's account. Oh yeah. And then you're late paying him to make the payments. And then I'm like your credit.

Him over. No. Yes. Yes. If it's on his credit, his affirm and you're not paying him in time, you are f***ing him over. You cannot tell me no from that. That is as a black and white as possible. If you do not give him the payment of time,

you are objectively fucking him over. How can you? you tell me no. If I don't make the payment, then he will. So, I mean, the payment still being made. Dude! Dude! You're a f***le! It's still being made. Oh, fuck. I can't reason with you. Well, again, the payment's being made. So it's not messing him up. Believe it or not from these conversations, ladies and gentlemen, as surprising as you guys may find it, my blood pressure often does not rise during these because people annoy me. The debts are crazy, but I've gotten used to them. I see it. It's normal. And it brings a little.

little bit in outrage, sure. But this, I feel my blood pressure rising more than I felt in any episode in a very long time because I am enraged at you, because you are just, you're the worst. You should get it checked out then. It is rising at this moment. It is not high on average. Do you know how blood pressure works? No. You are a... What? But living my life. Only because of others. You will never be able to do anything on your own. failure? No. Please tell me.

I'll figure it out. Oh, that's the evidence we have to suggest we're not a failure. I'll figure it out. It's okay. I'll go to my mystic and have my cards read again. Yeah, bring each other down. Bringing each other down even further. She'll point me to the right.

I'm calling your Mystic in the post show. That's fine. Should you read your cards? JL. Recovery. Collections? I believe so. Usually recovery is collections. Yeah.

What is this for? $535. 65 cents. That's an old credit card. I think that was my first credit card ever. You know, why didn't you pay it? I maxed it out. And I think I got a new card.

Cool. Why didn't you pay it? I think it was on autopay, but... So why didn't you pay it? I'll keep asking that. You don't let me explain. Please. I lost the card and I didn't change it or updated. So it doesn't matter.

You think, guys, if I don't have my physical card on me, I actually can't make a payment in the app or online. What? Well, this doesn't have... It didn't have an app. Bullshit. It was just online. Okay.

Go online. Again, you have the physical card does nothing. I just forgot to change it. No, you just have to make the payment. Not about changing it. It's the payment. Well, I had on autopay with my old card. Then when I lost that one, I didn't go back and update it.

So I just forgot about the... You're not a credit card person. I'll maybe allow you to use the FIS card, debit card that builds credit. A lot of people have used that to build credit in the office. audience. With you, you're a piece of shit. Almost I want to give you.

I don't, I don't know if I want to give you. You might be the first guess I turned down the resources for that we provide for free because you're a... That's why I came to you to help me. No. I don't believe it for a second. Maybe you had that in the bottom of your heart, but you're digging a hole. You're putting your pin in the f***ing ground and you're just holding to it.

No. No? No. You just did right there. Yes Quicksilver What's going on That one

Was my Second credit card I opened Yeah My second one That one I think It's maxed out Because I would go out

It's over maxed out Oh yeah Then yeah I mean I would go out It drinks Food Buy things I saw online.

Okay. How much you spent on groceries last month versus how much did you spend going out to eat? Groceries. Wall zero dollars came in. Maybe like 60 bucks. Okay.

And going out to eat? Maybe like 400. Why is that considered acceptable at all for someone unemployed abusing their family? Because I mean, I get tired of eating at home. I want to go out and eat a restaurant. Gosh. Why do you think your want supersedes

you just being an adult? Why do you think that? Where is that stemming from in your life. Because you have to live life. You need therapy. No. That's what I have my mystic for.

It's okay. She can reach your cards on the poster. 171. Groceries. 514. 514. Not a crazy number compared to this show. Zero dollars of income laid off

abused in his family. Crazy number. It was good food, though. Doubt it. No. It was nice restaurants. Was it? Look at you.

Your face is drooping. It was good. food. At least my fatness likes to stay nice and firm. Yours is just like hanging. You're starting to, he's turning into the- I still look good though. He's turning into the what was that? It was like an animated character who was always like, and like he just sagged. I think it was a dog. I'm a failure. Who watches anime? Who watches anime?

Animated character. Who watches anime? anime, a lot of the world. I tell. I'm not even defending it, but like everyone. No. No. Okay. Go to rebuttal. I know what that is. You don't know what the rebuttal is? No. All right. I'm advocating for opening a camp that we put people like him in. And it'll be fun. How do we determine them?

How do we determine what people like you are? I don't know yet, but we need to keep you away from this world. It'll be a fun camp, though. This is, and I don't actually mean that to be clear, but it's just like, I don't know, man, there's something wrong with you. You don't even know what the word rebuttal means. Like, I don't even know how to deal with that. Like, I'm kind of retarded.

I'll be honest. I'll be honest with you. I'm kind of retarded. Like, I am dumb in a lot of things, but I just, I'm concerned at your lack of everything. His face is doing this. This is what his face is doing. He looks like this. Oh my God.

No, I do not. Yes, he does. I do not look like that. Again, like I said, I can just go get Botox. That's more preventative than it is post-care. I mean... And you're not... And you can't afford it, by the way.

Botox is not... I mean, I'll find somebody to... You're getting back-alley Botox. No, not like that. So I'll find somebody to pay for it. You're horrendous. Listen, you... You actually had transactions, then interest hit, and it pushed you over the credit limit on this quicksilfer card.

So you have $51.01.1 cents of purchases. Then $12, $0.20 cents of interest. McDonald's, H&M. Oh, yeah. There's the good thing. I love H&M. Oh, well, it might have been quick food because I rarely go to McDonald's. Don't even look at me like that.

Well, there it is, you asshole. I've also had a late fee this year so far. I got that one waived though I did call them and get it waived You didn't For this year yes No it's there That might be a different card you dick

Well one of them was waived Great This wasn't Well I can give them a call No I highly doubted it Because it's not even this month This is old

It's old It's been this year so far I'll still get him a call Yeah you can give him a call Then it'll be under Good luck. You asked for it, and I'm delivering a way to connect the dots to see how the stuff we talk about applies to you, your money, your debt, and your goals. The wait is over because master your money, my all-in-one personal finance platform is finally live.

Inside, you'll get access to all of my courses, budgeting templates, calculators, a community of like-minded budgeters, exclusive content, weekly tips, and free access to the dollar-wise premium budgeting app. Learn everything from budgeting to investing, tune in weekly for behind the budget, a master your money exclusive, and join members' monthly challenges to celebrate your wins. And since this Black Friday, I'm giving you access to our members' exclusive audits,

financial audit post shows, and more insider content in our newly upgraded Hammer Elite 3.0 membership. I've wrapped it all into what I'm calling the Ultimate Hammer Bundle. Sign up for Master Your Money today and get lifetime pricing at just $39.99 a month, over $100 in annual savings and access to the Dollar Wise budgeting app premium version, one month of Hammer Elite 3.0 for free, plus a free budget-friendly cookbook that you can download. This insane offer ends after Black Friday, so if you want to master your money, click below and get started today.

Guys, just real quick, don't forget to take your Hammer financial score at Calebhammer.com. See where you stand Where you gotta do better Where you're doing shit Listen to take a few minutes And it is free Figure out where you stand In the world of money

Calebhammer.com Yeah, give them a call Guy And do whatever you think that is Ask them to weigh the fee Is that H&M? This Yeah, actually

Mm-hmm And the jeans It is affordable clothing But I highly doubt You don't have clothing I highly doubt You don't have clothing I have

Yeah, I do I wrote at H&M a lot I do buy Jim Shark I love Jim Shark What? Jim Shark What is it? Like workout clothes Okay So that you can put them in the closet

No I use them I go work out Okay Maybe 28.99% interest rate What is this? Let me see This is overdue

What is overdue Oh that's cash shop What about it? Don't die What about it? Cash shop I borrow that money, I think to buy plants stuff. Or plants in general.

Is it the advanced pay type thing? Yeah. Listen, I talk about this and I will talk about this just like any credit cards, just like consolidation, just like bankruptcy. Even the pay advanced stuff is not necessarily a bad tool. You can use it to your advantage. But if you're not a credit card person, you're not a pay advance person. You cannot use these tools.

And you obviously cannot. I can. You cannot. Colton can. You cannot. Brandon and Lindsay can. You cannot. It was getting paid.

This audience likely can. You cannot. So it doesn't matter. Why use a tool that is obviously fucking you. It was getting paid. It's not matters. Was. Yes.

Why do I care about was? Why do I care about was? Why is was what matters at all? Because there was some payments made. But why does was matter? It is not being paid now. That now is what. What matters? Now in the future, I don't give a fuck about the past.

Well, it's overdue now. That's what I'm saying, you don't... Well, it'll just sit there. It's okay. Oh, Colton. Colton, never again, please. That's not a joke. You're horrible. You say you come here to get help? I don't see it.

You're not even willing to acknowledge that this is bad. The money was used already. I can't pay it back. How does that make it back? What? How are you using that as a justification? How? It'll get paid eventually.

It'll be paid eventually. In detail. In detail, I really want to understand your logic. Please. Please. Please. It'll get paid eventually. That's not the logic.

That's not the logic. You said it's okay because you already spent the money. Explain how that justifies it. Well, the money's gone. Oh, you can't answer questions. You can't answer questions to save your fucking life. You can't even define your own worldview of moronic. It'll get paid invention.

Some point, someday. Okay, so you have four catchphrases, huh? Sure. Crispy chicken sandwich from 7-Eleven, people always call me loud. And I'm like, yeah, I know. I'm crispy. Did you expect me to whisper? If you want quiet, go eat some soup and reflect.

Like, I know I'm a handful. I'm bold, I'm juicy. Throw some pickles and barbecue sauce on me, and baby, I'm a whole meal. And with seven rewards, I'm just $4. Quiet. No. Krisby, saucy, and $4. Very.

Only at 711. Valley 36, participating stores only while supplies last the app for full terms. Is there like, oh, you just have to pay that back all on a lump sum. There's not like a minimum payment or anything. It's just like you have to pay that back.

Yeah. I think that one does acquire the interest weekly, I think. Did you type that, Colton? Colton typed. who is a very gay man, by the way, and we love that. We love that. But he typed that he is getting closer

to understanding homophobia via this episode. But yeah, that's my cash-up. Oh, is it? Is it, asshole? Shut the fuck up. Capital One, just the regular Capital One. What's going on with this? Oh, it's over maxed out.

Who would have a f***ed thought? Which one? I have three cards with them. Shut up. Oh, my plan. We already did venture. We already did Quicksilver. Yeah.

I just use whatever is available. No shit. No shit. And now nothing is. There's another one in your catchphrases. 202 and 29 cents with a minimum fee payment of $25. No lay fees on that one, though. We'll see.

$82 of purchases and $5.36 of interest. Not then because of the purchasing, putting it above the limit. Every card we've looked at so far is above the limit. It's horrible. Why just use it? I'll pay the minimum. Insightful, insightful, ladies and gentlemen.

Put him on the public speaking tour right now. There's been two late fees this year so far. So to your no late fees, I say, fuck you. Well, that's probably the one I called to get away. One of them I called to get away. It is here. If you got one wave, that means you've got three and two are posted. Which is probably very possible given your situation and lack of maturity.

You probably didn't even know the other two happened. Yeah, no. Amazon, Benad machine? Oh, yeah. Gas, that's okay. But I wouldn't put it on a credit card that I can't pay off that is a growing interest in pushing it above a limit. Fuck you. And then I think you got some bullshit potentially at Walmart.

I don't know. No one really goes against $19 a grocery. Certainly not someone who doesn't cook. I can cook. But you don't. I know you probably can. You're a human that exists with hands. I can cook.

I just, I'd rather not. I'd rather not. He's a moron. I'd rather just go out. Colton, he's like, he's literally an idiot. I have not, I don't know if I've met a dumber person created on this planet. Colton, why is he? Here.

How long did your conversations take? Hmm? He had to do two onboarding phone calls. That means you're special. Not in the good way! No, you didn't clarify. I just did. Before.

What, what the hell? When you think like an athlete, setbacks don't stop you. But mindset alone doesn't get you moving again. That's where icy hot steps in. Ice works fast. Heat makes it last. So when the rest of the world settles because of a setback,

icy hot accelerates your comeback with fast. acting powerful pain relief. I see hot. You're so back. Half a second gap in between? Men of interest as well. Your late fees above the limits, purchasing on bullshit, nothing's good.

The only purchase that wasn't 100% bullshit that we've looked at so far was gas, but even that shouldn't be on a credit card like this anyway. I used to drive an hour and a half to work. So that's why I always put it. This is when you were unemployed, asshole. Shut up. It's a 31% interest rate.

Congratulations. Really funding my stock in Capital One. You're welcome. What is this? Clarna. Okay. From a firm to Clarna. That one was an Amazon.

Failed payment. Five days late. Five days late. That was after early, though. That was Amazon. I'm sorry. What else did he do when he was after? out of Walt, went to purchase the DJ that he never

sees because he never comes down and came down last year and he saw him. And also, went and spent $1,300 in Chicago. Die. Die! Don't die, actually. I don't want you to die. But just stop existing in front of me. You're just horrible.

And that was vitamins for my dog. You see? I told he's taken care of. Doubted though. I just don't believe you. I saw your Amazon was all a pet or plant. Well, I mean, yeah. I'll have to sell plans. You're not selling. 141.9.

I'll put you on here. Minot with the boomer. No, you're late constantly. You probably just owe that and then you're done. Dick? Yes. Oh, okay. Oh, that's my chase.

That was actually for the tickets I purchased to go to Vegas for a show. What the fuck? Why? When was Vegas? I think I was supposed to go in March. Oh. But then returning those tickets. But they're not paying?

Yeah, no. I use the money for other stuff. I think it was Vegas and then I don't remember what the other one is. Oh, Craftland. That was this place in Houston that I went to. Uh-huh. And I did the pay-in-four. And I didn't make the payments on that either.

No, you certainly did not. I think that's like from a year ago. There was craft land in Vegas. Mm-hmm. Paying four. Didn't go to the festival. Paid in none. I paid half for both.

Oh, you're a piece of shit. So they got something back. Shut the fuck up. Something was paid. Half of Vegas was paid. Only one of four from Craftland. So you can't even genuinely... You can't even accurately speak on what's happening.

Something was paid, though. I think that was like last year, though. Okay, so this Chase paying for... 0,428.16. Minimum monthly, you only have to do it a couple times, dick. There was 171. No. Do math. I think I did do my math.

No, buddy, you don't know what numbers are. 171.578 cents. Is your minimum monthly? That's your minimum! No, that's a total due. No, that's your total due in a minimum way. I, buddy, I see it right here. Like, fuck off.

They'll eventually get paid. Fuck off. You don't know. Shut up. I want to hear you. What's this? That was a personal loan I took out. Oh, God.

For what? That was back in 2021. I did it to do to do a minimum monthly. I don't know. That one I had taken out to go do a Lipo 360. at the time. What? Lipo 360. What?

I go to Mexico to get lipo. Did it work? Mm-hmm. Yes and no. You got a lipos section? Yeah. Instead of just dealing with your shit. I mean, it's...

You didn't get it on your face, though. No. I just got it here. My stomach area. 2021. I went to Mexico for it. How much did they take? Four liters?

Four or five, I think you said. How many? pounds is that? I don't know. It was in Mexico. So the metrics are different. Yes. I don't know metrics over there, but yeah.

It was. But yeah. May 2021. Was it worth it? Because now it's in collections, I guess. I mean, it was nice when I did it. Surgery kind of went. I woke up during the surgery.

I don't think I was supposed to, though. I consciously woke up? Yeah. Did they put you back to sleep? Yeah, right away. Well, that's good. How long were you awake? Like five minutes?

And you saw them inside of you. Yeah. I felt the world going in and out. That's not good. Yeah, no. I'd do it again, though. Maybe not Mexico, but I'd go somewhere else to do it again. You were born here?

Yeah. We can't send them back. I mean, I go back. permanently? Yeah. I think it's better than the U.S. so... Good. Totally.

I totally agree. I'll stay here because of you. You. You know what? I'll come and move to office. It's okay. We're moving away. It's okay.

I'll just follow you. You can't afford where we're going. Twin. That's why I said we're twin flames. What's this? Another little loan. Four. I think that one I take off to pay rent once.

Yeah. Okay. I think it was 300. $175. Yeah. It was a two payment thing split in two. It was four payments. I just missed two.

What is wrong with you? Why are you never able to make any payments on anything? Because I like to spend. Yeah. I like to go and span. No, this was for Christmas gifts. It wasn't for rent. Oh, there goes.

That's what it was. How do you not even know your own shit? No. I just take it out and I use it. You're, oh my goodness. There's no words to describe you that are insulting enough. They at least got half the payment. So some of it was paid.

But yeah. Is it in collections or do you owe it? No, I still owe it. I don't think they go to collections. Anything can go to collections pretty much. Well, that one's been like a year. It's probably in their internal collections. You owe 175.

You up front, 175. Put that as your minimum, but it pays it off. This is, you just wrote everything we've already seen. Yeah. Let's see it. Okay. Money owed to Grandma? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Good. Is she taking a tally because she should? I take the tally on that one. She just gives me money, but, you know, I kind of still write it down. What have you tallied it to? Well, I think 21, $23,000 a owe per. Yeah.

So whenever I would have things like, say, my car needed tires, she would pay for it. Or, like, my trips, you see, she would give me money for the trips. Let's see what else. bills, some bills, when I would be late, I would ask her for it. But yeah, that's kind of how I wrecked all out. $23,000 to your grandmother. How old is she? She was 52.

Let me see. That's incredibly young. Are you sure? You're almost 30. 73. No, she was born 52. Oh. You're taking this from a 73-year-old woman.

I mean, she has money. For her, for her retirement and survival and medical and whatnot that pops up. Life, asshole. And her having money doesn't mean it's good and enable you regardless. 23,000, I sure does no, there's no minimumity payment on this. I mean, I got it from her. She liked to spend. I like to spend.

Dad. I see money to dad. That's 2K. That was for the accounting assistant classes. What does your dad think of you? Um, the best. His favorite child. No way.

There's not a chance in this world. Like I say, I do stuff for them. There's none a chance of this world. You're the favorite kid. How many brothers and siblings? I have five brothers. No way, you're the favorite. No, four brothers.

It's just mathematically impossible. Four brothers. It's not possible. Yes, and one sister. No, you are not the favorite. I refuse to believe in any world. Unless they are literal heroin addicts. I can bet you I'm the favorite child.

Again, I'm the fun child. You have the taker. But the fun child. No. Money owned a friend? For what? And how much? Colorado.

I think it was one... Colorado? Oh, yes. I go to Colorado once a year also. That's one of them for grandma. I go to Colorado once in year and she'll give me money to go. How much do you owe? Oh, her I think it's like 11- or 110.

It was for gas, the portion of the gas. $11? That's it. You owe that and you haven't even paid that? Yeah. Dude, you're such a bad person. I mean, she really doesn't care, but I know I still owe her. We still go out together. You see, I have more friends besides my mystic. No, you just called the mystic your best friend. I mean, yeah. I still have more friends. Hyundai. That one is a little tricky. Wait, sold the call. They repoed.

Yes. Not because I wanted to. because... No, wait, wait. That car, I had got that car brand new because I was like, I want a car brand new, so I have no issues with it. Nothing mechanical wrong with it. I got their car and was fucked up.

You what? It was fucked up. Back to back. It kept messing up. I even got a lawyer. And they didn't do their job, right? Yeah, it's always anyone and everyone but yourself. Shut up.

It looks like they sold over 25. Looks like after fees and everything and bullshit. From the 50, you owe 26,811. Again, that car did not work. You probably haven't touched it, have you? No. No, shit. That just happened this summer.

Credit must be. Oh, great. It's fresh. It's new. It's going to be on here forever. Is it your first repo? Yes. Like I said, the car was...

It is not. That's my first repo. No, it is not. I don't have another repo. You told Colton you do. Oh, the other one. Yeah. Oh, that car was paid off, though.

My bad. I forgot about that one. So yes, this is my second one. But the first one, I missed that payment by a week and they took that car. It's just not how that works. They won't take it from one week. They will not! The payments were always made on time on that one. They will not take one week. It's three months.

No, they took that one right away. They will not! They took that one right away! They won't! Okay. Were you there when that car got repaid? They will not do that. I was there.

Oh. That car was gone from that parking spot. They won't do that. Well, they took it. Again, this car was because that car was messed up. Back to back messing up. What's your car situation now? I don't have a car.

How'd you get here? Oh, I borrowed my mom's car. What a leech. What a disgusting f***ach. Well, I had a car. Uh-huh. $50,000 car you borrowed making $2,600 a month. Maybe $30 a year you borrowed a $50,000 a car.

Supposed to be reliable? Supposed to me. It doesn't matter. It's a number that's not even close to something you can afford. Well, my goal was to go back to school and make more. Oh, so let's get a $50,000-hour car that we can't afford. Shut up. That was reliable.

But, yeah, that car messed up. We're negative. Capital one checking your negative. That one. Let's just spending money going to bullshit endlessly and just bullshit and bait shop and KFC slim chickens. This is bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. Listen gentlemen, top-down camera, get this. Bullsh, he's stopping in and getting to bullshit. What are you getting into the gas station for $4?

I don't know. You don't know what you stop in at the gas station and get. Probably a Red Bull or something. You, you asshole. I have to go before work. GamerSups. Take one of those. Take one of those.

Those are free samples. You guys can get free samples. Use code Caleb Hammer. Oh, I've had this before. Yes, it is good. Listen, once you find the flavor you like, you get this, you mix it in. Instead of a $5

red bull or whatever from a gas station, it is 25 cents a serving. It's like making your red bull at home and it tastes better. So I don't want to f***ing here. No more excuses. Link in the description below for 10% off, by the way. Can I take them all then?

So I don't have to buy a red bull? This is endless red bulls and tacos, of course, and Amazon and Panda Express going into bullshit. Amazon vending machines, Apple bills, Jack in the Box, Bunny Stop, Waterburger. Bulls!

Bullshy tacos. The gas station. Chicken, chicken, chicken. Amazon, Bulls. Ven-way now. McDonald's going in getting some bullshit fanning machine. Bullsh, bullshit. Look at this, guys.

It is... It is four pages, five pages of bullshit, will be negative in a separate checking account as well, of which I don't even see where the spending is because he didn't even give me those. What a f***o. You're a joke. You're a bad person.

Fuck you. I'm not making a budget for you to save your life. Come join the post show. Three premium shows every day, Monday through Friday. Click that joke. including this financial audit for Post Show that I'm forced to film. Fuck you, you're a degenerate, and I wish for the worst of you, not really. It don't get paid.

It'll get paid. It'll eventually get paid one day. Call your fucking misty. Let me see. What the fuck is wrong with you? What is wrong with you? Every single piece of advice that you are giving him is leading him to the whole of destruction and death.

That's what to him and what he chooses to do with my words. He's a degenerate. No, his path is leading him into a spiritual journey. Caleb, is this your least favorite episode in a minute? I'm whole. Oh, staring at that clock. Hammer Elite is the best YouTube membership on the platform, and I just upgraded it. Three exclusive dedicated shows every single day, Monday through Friday.

Join with the link in the pin comment or description below. This is the best membership you'll ever join. That's a promise. If you used Babbel, you would. Babel's conversation-based techniques teaches you useful words and phrases to get you speaking quickly about the things you actually talk about in the real world, with lessons handcrafted by over 200 language experts and voiced by real native speakers. Babel is like having a private tutor in your pocket.

Start speaking with Babel today. Get up to 55% off your Babel subscription right now at babel.com slash Spotify. Spelled B-A-B-B-B-B-B-E-L-com slash Spotify. Rules and restrictions may apply.