Financial Audit - My Lawyer Had To Step In | Financial Audit

Episode Date: September 10, 2025

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Your existence is bad. I don't mean to bring you to a breaking point. Oh, fuck. I'm going to be a piece of shit this episode because I do not like you. Like I said, it's the future ivory problem. Cut the dumb behavior. I'm just full of the fickets. They're bursting out of my scene.

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I'm Ivory. I'm 35. I'm from Los Angeles and this is Financial Audit. Hey, thanks for coming over from Los Angeles. We gave you a stripper name. Didn't we? I didn't come up with it. I blame the producers.

I'm sorry, I apologize, but you're ivory to me now. I love it. Thanks for coming over from L.A. though. Listen, you look like you from L.A. You know, you got some head look to you a little bit. You got the keyboard, which is interesting. No one really usually brings toys to financial audit, but I accept you as who you are.

Thank you. So what do you do in L.A. for a living? I work as a stock person during the day at a prop house And then at night I'm a musical process So I play weddings, churches, casinos, restaurants, Pretty much anything that has music, I've played it A lot of comedy things, a lot of random things, scoring. Okay

Yeah, all over the board. That's why that's here? Yeah. What are you hoping to get out of that? Oh, is that one, okay. It just makes me feel a little bit more comfortable. It's like my safety blanket, security blanket.

You're 35. Okay. And how much money do you make? So on my day job, every two weeks I make about $12.50. Net? That's what hits your account? Yes. Okay.

So every two weeks, $1, $1,500. Good. So we're looking at $2,500 a month, L.A. How the fuck is that possible? I don't know. And then on average, your little evening gigs. How much you're making? About $1,500 a month.

It was... Not bad. Yeah, it was... In the month I submitted, it was about $1,000. Submitted for what? Taxes? No, submitted to your team. It was $1,000.

To the financial audit team. Last month, I made $2,000 with my gig. What's average, though? About $1,500. $15. Are you setting 20 to 30% aside for taxes? I am not. Well, it wouldn't be financial audit without that, and I would it.

Mm-mm. Okay, so $4,000 hours a month, except that I'm going to say it's worth $3,500 because you're going to set aside money for taxes. How long have you been doing this, this evening stuff, this extra stuff where you should be setting aside money for taxes? About 15 years. Have you ever claimed income for taxes? Yes, yes, I have. And then I've also written off keyboard repairs and then written off different purchases.

When's the last time you filed? Well, I filed an extension the past year and I overpaid what it said I owed. but you filed an extension? Yeah. And then you overpaid? No, I overpaid with the extension. So when it submits it, it lets you put money in. So I did that.

We are not doing quarterly? No, no. I didn't know that was a thing for good musicians, but I've made sense when I did it at the beginning of the year. Okay. So what's the tax situation currently? So last year you filed an extension? Yes.

But you've already overpaid? Yes. So there's no concern? No, well, I did a couple jobs and shows and things that didn't submit tax paperwork to me. And from that, we ended up getting some paperwork the week after taxes were due. Okay. So I get extra confuseled. And I also don't know who's reporting what.

Oh, you're a quirky millennial, aren't you? I try my darndest. And, yeah, but we... I don't claim him. But, yeah, we, you know, I never know what's going to come out of the blue. What's going to be reported, what's not. I get Venmos. I get cash sometimes.

Sometimes I get gifts. But that's my least favorite of the payments. What is that? No, no, no. No jobs? I mean, on a good day. For shows, really? I mean, there was, I was, I was talking about it right before.

I had one person approached me last year who just kept coming to my shows and said she wanted to make art with me. But then she came clean about that she publicized. She, like, publishes her art of that nature. And I was not down with that. Okay. Okay. Sure.

Cool. So $3,500 a month now. L.A. Not a cheap place. One of the more expensive cities in the country. Yes. Hi. That was a very fun boy.

Yes. I'll be honest. Maybe that's why he turned her down. How are you doing on that $3,500? Oh, I am struggling. Why the fuck are you continuing your evening? that doesn't bring in that much money for the time you put into it, instead of going and being an adult that provides value to society

and gets paid based on their values so that they can then pay their bills and not be a joke of a 35-year-old trying to make it in the big city, even though you're 35, not 25, give up. Yeah, it's the only way that I find joy. It's the happiest thing that I find doing, and it's like that it's the way that I feel the most honest and earnest. Yeah, absolutely. Do your hobbies outside of work, where you bring in money and pay.

Pay your bills. What's the struggle like? So, I've been showing you how many data brokers were collecting and selling your private information. And I had you use ORA, who is sponsoring today's video to put a stop to it. Well, check this out. Now, ORA is automatically starting to opt your information out of these sites. Data brokers collect your personal information and package it up to sell it to anyone who wants it. Marketers, scammers, even identity thieves, all without your consent. And it's only going to get worse. The government just quietly pulled back. a rule meant to stop her financial data like social security numbers from being sold to the highest

bidder. And this just tells me one thing. Your privacy is just another line item on someone's revenue sheet. We're out here telling people to budget better and protect their finances. Meanwhile, their personal data is being auctioned off behind the scenes. It's like a slap in the face to anyone trying to take control of their financial future. And it's not just about privacy anymore. It's about how vulnerable they're leaving people in fraud, identity theft, and even financial manipulation. And the worst part, they did it quietly. No big press release, no warning, just a casual rollback of your rights while you're busy trying to figure out how to pay rent.

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No, okay, what's your struggle? You bring it in $3,500 a month. Oh, yeah. What's your struggle financially? My struggle financially is that I took out, when I had a really good job about two years ago, I took out some very large loans. For what? They were, they were, they were for.

That you, um, you have. Or what? I feel better when I have money in my account. You just got a really good job. Why did you need to get a loan then? Wouldn't needing money in our account require getting a loan when we have the not-as-good job? Yeah. That doesn't make sense.

And then some production materials to try to score more movies and do more things from home. Have you scored a movie? I've scored three. Not a little YouTube film. Not a little college film. Come on. I've scored one short film that's on something. There it is.

What's it on? Tubey? Amazon. Prime Video? Yeah. Okay. It was a short film as a part of anthology series. Why did you get paid for that?

I got paid $1,000 for that 15-minute show, 15-minute feature. Okay. And, yeah, I mean, you know, I just... The next Hans Zimmer, ladies gentlemen. You know, I just, and it's with that, I get the money because I just get this serious case. I've been trying to take medication for it, but I constantly come down with the... Oh, you're doing it. Yes. Yes, I'm just full of the fickets. They're bursting out of my scenes.

I don't know what that means. Explain what that means that are not attempting to be a quirky, funny millennial way. So when I get under bills, when I get different things that fall through, whether it's payments, whether it's jobs or promises, along with the industry right now has been very hard. So something that I was relying on. It's hard about the industry right now. I'd say it's always hard to try to be in a musician in a very saturated market. Oh, yeah. Well, the- Everyone wants to do it. and there's many talented people. Yeah, so I've been relying on that more

since my fallback was production. And working on production has fallen through drastically over the past year. It's moving out of L.A. And there's no incentive. Why the fuck would they pay the taxes? It doesn't make any sense. Yeah, it's pretty dumb.

And with that, you know, like I said, I work at the prop house, but they've brought us down to three to four days a week. And why would they pay any taxes? No surprise everything's leaving. It doesn't make any sense. Yeah.

You're tax 20% more than you get somewhere else, Yeah, people are going to leave. Who would have thought? Basic math. Well, I mean, I have a note from Lindsay that he plays chief shows, gets paid $30, but he just does it because he loves hanging out and feeling important. How long is that show and hangout that you're getting $30 for? So I get to meet some comedy icons when I do those, but it's about...

That was not an answer to my question. Three hours. Good. Put the fries in the bag. You will make that amount of money borderline close in California hourly. Yeah. Putting the fries in the back. It feels so good to be on stage with some people that I've just like watched growing up.

Who? Like. Can't even name them. Dane Cook or Dave Chappelle, Eliza Schoelle, Eliza Schellinger, Kamail Nangiani, like those people. When I get around them, you know, it's funny because try not to fanboy. But you clearly are and you're willing to give up your entire life and not being able to pay bills in order to jerk off to some comedians. Yeah. You know, it just being able to have that.

picture on my, on my profile and my portfolio. It makes me feel more worthy and more like I'm actually accomplishing something despite and you're not. Yeah. Despite the negative bank account. Well, clearly it's not a very competitive. Well, no, no. Well, no, it's not in terms of like they struggle with getting someone because it's $30 for four hours.

So clearly a million people want the job. and they just accept the lowest bitter. There's not really anyone else who does it in town. What do you do? I play people on stage, offstage. You're telling me there's no one, no, no DJ that plays people on and off stage in Los Angeles. Not on the comedy venues.

Oh, what the fucking you're talking about? The melanated theaters, they tend to have, you know, more fun kind of random things. I play a lot of variety shows that aren't even, I'm not doing stand-up, and I'm not, playing a set. I'm more so sitting there and then playing the transitions and the underscore, whether it's a scene or whether it's a stand-up comedian. Great. And it's $30 for four hours. So clearly this is, again, this isn't a good job, buddy. No, no, no, I don't give a, stop it. Stop. I just, I kind of just play things like that to

whatever anybody says on stage. And do that again, and I will break it. But I, I will legitimately break it. That is. not me saying that as a bit for the show, I will break it. You know, because there's a song that I learned for it. No, no, no, I will break it. No, I, seriously. I found that from a beautiful composer online actually. Makes me, you know, I don't mean to bring you to a breaking point,

but I really enjoyed that song and I wanted to bring it here today. If you want to play it too, I mean, I feel like you might have some chops or not. But yeah, $30. isn't the same price for all of those shows, too, because there's some that are one hour long and they pay $100, and those ones are the people that I like to lean towards more. They make me feel worthy,

and they make me feel like I'm actually getting my work. You look like someone who leans in the middle of the street after a f***le overdose. Well, I try not to lean off a f*** of other things maybe, but that one's killing people left and right. But I'll play in the street with the Malaga. We could only be so lucky. Yes.

You know, to fall in the street, or to play in the street, that's actually I built a rig to go in the street with my music, too. But making my own thing is something that I've kind of fought against. And with this financial issues that I've had, I haven't had the confidence to pursue that wholeheartedly. So I kind of latch on to other people's projects, whether it be shows or productions or anything and make that work. I even, it wasn't 30 bucks, but we've done full musical productions that, We took off Broadway, and then we also sold them to high schools. And that was much more than $30. Okay.

So what the fuck have you done to try to fix your finances? Yeah, so I tried to reach out. I've done Debtors Anonymous meetings, and I've also reached out to a debt consolidation company, but they ghosted me. They ghosted you? Yeah. What has they ghosted me?

I called them, and I was actually at my day job, And I called him and said, hey, I'd like to see the options because I'm feeling overwhelmed with all of these debts. And I don't know where to go. And then they were like, oh, yeah, that sounds great. Here, what do you got? Oh, yeah, send us over your documents. And I sent them over two or three of the bigger ones. And then they never called me or responded back.

I called them and they said, oh, sorry, we got no record of you. And it kind of sucked. It kind of sucked. Why didn't you go through it again then? Well, to be honest, I actually did a debt consolidation program about 12 years ago. Of course. you're dead and look where we are. This is what happens when we do not change behavior for fuck's sake.

Well, with this, it's a different place in my life here. It's a different place because I'm not as crazy as I was back then. There was too many cases of the f***its. Just f***s left and right. Shut up. Yeah, they f***ing it. Oh, and then I've also started to try to make difference. I started trying to do Uber, but with that, my car is not practical for Uber.

It's both too old to drive people And then... What is it? A 2006 Rav4 Dude, what the fuck are you doing? What is your future? What are you even trying to do? Because this isn't like...

Clay, you've been on just like this treadmill forever. Trying to become this musician. Trying to do all this stuff. You make like minimum wage, honestly. In L.A., L.A. minimum wage. Like, what are we even trying to get to? What is your plan here? What was your plan?

Obviously, we know what's wrong. Yeah, I wanted to, I want to have a family. I want to have a family. I want to get a dog, because then maybe I'll find a, my roommate actually takes care of dogs, and it's been a nice little surrogate thing. Yeah, he's a dog sitter, and so we get tons of little surrogate babies that come through the house. And I'd like to be able to do that on my own without freaking out, because I can barely take care of myself, but I'm trying to get by that that's not as hard.

So you're just trying to get a family. Yeah, I'd like a family. And I'd like to support them. You're a joke. Buddy, you're a joke. Well, I make a lot of jokes. No, no, no, no. First of all, no.

Second of all, no, you're living life as a joke. You're not in your 20s anymore. You're not in the fuck-up period where you can just go doing anything and everything. This is time is against you here. You're losing compound growth in the market. you're in an expensive city. Clearly, it has no demand for you or else it would pay for it.

This, you're not, no, you're a joke and you're a failure. I mean, I feel like, I feel like you just, you're not, you haven't been chasing the dream. I feel like, you know, you gave up. You don't think I've hit the dream? Well, I mean, of music, the music dream of that. Buddy, I made more money a month offer than you do

when I was just out of college with music. I mean, there's some... That song you played, the breaking point? Well, actually, no, I didn't make any money off of that. one, but the ones around that, I did. That was, I'm glad we wanted to point it out. It was your song. It was a great song. But, yeah, I mean, that's the thing, is composition.

I found this thrilling vibe on it. But, buddy, you've been trying for a long time. This is not working. And I'm good with you pursuing your passions and lots of hobbies. That doesn't mean that, I mean, do you ever miss bills? Like, what are we doing? I'm sure you're borrowing to pay bills, right? The borrowing to take out, or the taking 30% from my income to pay for taxes,

doesn't even seem practical with the amount of bills that I've already overloaded on myself. But you don't think you have to pay taxes when you earn money? Listen, you're in the bottom 50% of earners in this country, and the bottom 50% of earners pays literally 2% of all income taxes in the United States. You're not demanded for that much. The rest of us are paying for you, and you're not even willing to contribute that? But the prop house, I have full taxes came out, and that's why I'd always use it. Yeah, W2, but even still. That one seems to work better because I just want to chase that dream. I just want to be the working guy. Well, apparently, because I mean, in your

conversations with Lindsay. I mean, you were taking a lot of pride in being an artist who makes a living. But you don't make a living off of being an artist. You have a daytime job that pays double. I'm sorry, I don't, I'm not sure of shat any dreams. I still want you to pursue it. I would love you to be successful in it. Just so far it is not working. Like, you haven't hit there and you've been doing it for a bit when you moved to L. Ambition comes in all shapes and sizes. At First Citizens Bank, we roll with your goals because we're built for what you're building fit for your ambition for citizens back. Clay?

I grew up in L.A. Okay, so you've had all the time in the world. Yeah, I moved away for college, but then I came back because I got a chance to be a music person on a TV show, and that was the best paying job I've ever had. What was it? How long? I'm sure it was contractual, though, so the show ended and you're done, right? Yeah, it was three seasons on a children's show, but it was a very unique position. I would never, never, never allow you in your children. Oh, but I love them.

Hold up. Wait a minute. I mean, they're so fun and friendly. Stop it. But, yeah, you know, it was actually, that was the best paying, and that one wasn't even doing the composition. It was more of a production-sided thing where I facilitated. I'd watch the kids and make sure that they were playing the right chords or that they were playing in time. I got to yell behind a director, and that just felt so good.

But then there's not many shows like that anymore along with. I just, how are you even able to pay rent? Are you going rent, like, rent control? Yeah, it's pretty rent controlled. Okay, so for the sake of the 2% that refused to go out there and actually work their ass off, i.e. this guy, the other 98% are stuck with their endlessly high housing costs to subsidize you. Well, I'm also donating sperm, which gives me $150 every time. Oh, they're going to be running around. Hey, I'm not going to pass along my financial tendencies, but I want to pass along the energy and the good vibes.

And plus, I mean, the way it's been going, the way it's been going What do you make off a nut? $150 each time. Per nut? Yes. How often do we do we nut? Can you do that daily? Oh, you have to wait 48 hours in between nuts.

Oh, you got to save up? You got to save up and you got to be a good eater and drinker and not party. So it also keeps me. But you're always going to the clubs and stuff. Well, it keeps me honest. A lot of the times the clubs and whatnot for that are to support my friends. or to support the people that I'm with. So you can do it 1802 times a year.

What do you get paid per? Yeah, you get $140? You get, well, you get. How much? So the way the system works is you get paid $120 each time, but then once you've done $10 submissions, they pay you $300 out. And then you can't go back anymore?

No, and then you just restart the next batch. Oh, $140.40? It sounds like a retirement plan. Can I just go jack off? $25,000 a year in nutting. Whoa! Hold on! I'm hard right now. I mean, so am I.

What? And it's, you know, and it's also, I mean, with the struggles, there's a, there was a part of me that thought, especially when I was reaching out to the debt relief program that, like, the family dream might never, not ever happen. Probably not. Who would date you? This is a nice way to throw it into the mix, you know? I like to think that there's a little bit of an essence that's existing out in the world. Yeah, someone might seek you down later in life. We'll find out.

Oh, yeah. You have to sign paperwork about that. saying what? Well, they have a contractual thing that when they turn 18, they have the option to be able to know who you are, but you can also remain anonymous.

But I did not remain anonymous. I wrote that I'd be happy for them to find me. Yeah, because it's the only people who will ever love you. I get it. So how much do you spend on a monthly basis? We know $3,500 comes in. Well, my spending is a little crazy.

That's an interesting number. Yeah, because it's, So I believe it's around 20K. That's ridiculous. No, that's what? How? Because... No, by the way, it's 15, but even still, what the fuck are you talking about?

So due to the amount of payments and different things that I have, I have a little finageling that happens, which is one of my accounts was opened in a separate state. Stop hitting the table. Yes, sir. When I open one of my accounts in the other state, so whenever I have one account that is overcharged, I have 48 hours to then replenish that account back to zero to stop from an overdraft fee or any other fee. So I can take from one of the other accounts, put it in there, overdraft, and then they bounce

between. Whoa, whoa, whoa. How long has the cycle been going? Probably since the beginning of the year. What? Just this year? Well, no, that was that far into it? That was incorrect.

That was incorrect. Ever since the, about November. I want to say November. What happened to November? Something started this. Yeah, I had a fall off. I fell off on some, production fell apart, and I didn't have a job. I lost my job.

I was laid off from a previous thing. That's why when you're just on the entrepreneurial gig-de-gig, you should have a 12-month emergency fund. I need, I had spent it all. I spent it all, and I should, I want one. On what? I mean, it was just kind of just trying to live. I was living in Sherman Oaks, a kind of a, what that means.

I was living in a fancy, fancy spot. Why? It was with someone that I cared about and was a spiritual leader of mine. A cult? Some call it that. Yeah, just someone who inspired and kind of helped me try to be rigorously honest. Were they using you for your body? My mind.

They're using me for my mind. You never even told Lindsay about this. This is so rare that Lindsay says, I don't even know what he's talking about. This is impossible. Tell us more. Yeah, I have a friend who back when we went in, this is a long time coming, but back when we went into lockdown, I found myself in some precarious situations with different mental issues and dependencies and different things I was dealing with. Oh, I see it. Keep going.

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Dollarwise.com. Let's f*** go. The only person that I knew who had dealt with similar things, I reached out. and he has since then become a confidant, a manager, a supporter, and someone that I kind of talked to earnestly and honestly about... To move in with? Yes, yes, not the best decision. And he did not use your holes?

No, he didn't. Okay. There was a chance he wanted to. Oh, see, I can smell this from here. He's very in the poly. I'm not one of them, but... Hold on, easy. But he's...

He's not a racist show. Yeah, but very, no, very much... That's not my vibe. But, yeah, he's a good human, a good human that I wanted to learn more and be more like, though. He's a manager. So what was wrong with the moving, though? If this equated to all this, what the fuck? I was working at a, I was working for YouTube and Google at the time as a stage manager for their former YouTube space.

No, no, for their productions. There was a brief moment where they tried to do their own. originals. Yes, yes. I thought that was a long time ago. It was like two years ago. And then I basically was higher as a part of that. They started to cut down on their own production saying,

wonderful creators can handle it on their own. And they kept us around for about a year just in case. And then they completely laid off all of the people in that kind of area and world. It's cool to go to the Howard Hugheshanger every day and get the Google facilities. But I was never a Googler. I was just a high. Why was it bad to live with this person? Because it was too expensive.

It was too expensive for my living. Okay, you really. Loaded the fact that living with him was bad or something. So I gotcha, I gotcha. He also had lived by himself for seven years, so he was not used to having roommates. So? I became the dishman and the dishman, the cleaner. You were his little boy.

I was the little boy. Well, you look like everyone's little bitch boy. Yes, we get it. We got it. I mean, if you want one, I'm here. Nope. not. I will kill myself. And what was your rent?

It was $2,400 a month. Yours? Yeah, that one, yeah, that one was crazy. No, no, no, your cut was $2,400 a month? Oh, my cut. The rent for the place was $2,400, and then I paid $1,400. Oh, even still, that's crazy. That is a massive job. And that was before utilities, yeah.

And was your income the same at that time? When I was working at Google, so there was about a year of when I was living there and I didn't have the job. But when I was working at Google, it was 76K a year was my salary. And then they just closed it down. And then they just shut down all of the vendors that were associated with that. And that happens. That happens.

And I didn't have an emergency fund at the time and tried to figure out my shit. When that just equals going into debt forever. It was a problem. That's what you started. It was only since November? Yeah, I looked at. Were your finances good before that? No, no.

There was a lot of thinking, oh, future ivory will deal with. this. This is a future ivory problem. Oh, that is what we named you. That is a weird name. Yeah. That doesn't even sound right. No.

Okay. Okay. So pain bills today is literally just transferring it onto other things then? It's finding the means of, you know, donating mixed with other jobs. Just not. You don't do blood, plasma? No. No, I haven't.

I applied for plasma about two years ago and I didn't get it. I was drinking at that time, and I don't drink now, but, so maybe I should try again. But it's working the day job. Try drinking again? Oh, yeah, try donating plasma and applying for that again. But yeah, they, the day job, the prop house mixed with the good gigs. We did reference the $30 gigs, but there's a lot of 700, 900 travel gigs. I was actually here about two months ago with some shows at South by Southwest.

and stuff. And those ones really do help out with rent. Okay. So, oh, yeah, dude. And yeah, so that was, I mean, from the, it was just the Arizona bank hack where I was, yeah, because I basically, I opened the account in Arizona and then I had mine one in California. And then when I would try to make these things happen, I mean, you called it, but it's the

swap between the two until I found a job or something that bring me back to zero. So I get a charge for 300. I go to negative 250. And then I have to bounce that between the two until I can find a job, whether it's donating, whether it's working at a crazy out-of-town thing or selling my body in musically. Okay. Oh, you're a tough one to be around. You sound just like my father. Yeah.

He's never coming back. I promise you Just made an awesome Power's reference The quirky millennial To me, man Dude, oh You are

Oh my gosh Okay, what do you think your financial score is 0 to 10 Zero being the worst 10 being the best I'm gonna say a one Just because we didn't talk about it Why are you so excited about this You just had to say one If you want to see where you're thinking

In the world of finances Take the Financial Score Assessment At Calebhammer.com Or dollarwise.com and if you don't want to end up like a guest who comes on the show, make sure you download the Dollar Wise budgeting app today. If you fucking ruin my plug, I will murder you. I will end your entire life.

I will make sure that there is no chance to even make it to the airport after this. You dumb little fucking cuss. If you don't want to be like a dumb, download the Dollar Wise budgeting app. Take the free trial. Sign up for the annual version. You get your budgeting cookbook signed by me, mail directly to you. Sign up for DollarWise Central if you want all of our address.

education bundled with it for 80% off. Taoise.com. Sounds like a deal. I'm holding it back. I'm not playing any songs. They're in me. They're in me. You can hear them if you think hard enough,

but I'm not playing them. I want to make it to the airport. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, buddy. I don't even know, man. Ooh, I just, um, I'm, um, you know, I'm a band kid. That's what I did. And, uh, wow, I don't like performative

mother fuchs such as yourself. I'll tell you that. $1,500 on, Miscellaneous bullshit in the last month. $1,500. What's your rent? Because you couldn't do a $1,400 rent payment.

It's $800 now. $800. Okay, then why the fuck are you spending $1,500 dollars in Michelin is bullshit? Well, the $800 is all cash. The way I work it out with my person is $800. It's $800.

No, no, no. You actual, come on. Don't be a dumb. Don't be stupid. Don't be a moron. You couldn't afford a $1,400 rent payment, so you downgraded. Now, why the fuck?

in the last month are you spending $1,500 on miscellaneous bullshit? You know, it's the only way I know how to find joy in myself. You just said the only way you can find joy, it was going out. You're taking the low-paying gigs. I said the two ways. Those are the two ways. Well, choose one. You can spend more on miscellaneous bullshit if you actually go make some money by providing value to society.

Or you can cut all your dumb three and go out and make no money doing your hobbies. Choose. I want to make the music. Good, then cut the dumb behavior. No more bullshit. I don't give a... It's the only way I know how to feel good, though. Why do you just said the performance was?

No, no, I told you I... Don't you damn dare. I said no. I will break it next time. If you think that's a joke, I don't even care if I get any criticism for it. I will smash this on there. I will do it. And unfortunately, it looks a little old, so I hope it doesn't mean it.

anything, but if you can even try to play something, I'm going to destroy it. All right. And that's not a, I'm not fucking joking. Give me this. Okay, what is a Moby loan? A mobile loan, it was one of the loans that I got from a letter.

I, when I applied on... Oh, no, it came in via mail? Yeah, it came in via mail. I had applied for some other options. What is this? Yeah, it's a nightmare cash advance. It was after I got shut down from every... We need to shut you down, buddy.

What the... You have one at that... Oh! What are you... Oh! If I pay it off immediately, it's 32. You're $3,200 right now! But then it's...

But then, yeah, it's also... I know it goes up, obviously. Way up. But there's no chance of you affording $3,200. And that's every two weeks. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm talking about the interest rate. What's your minimum monthly payment?

Um, about four... Ten thousand... A way you can't do anything more than me. Minimums? I mean, that was the one place I was debating, taking out from the retirement to just hit that in one fell swoop. But it doesn't make any sense because you'll just do it again because that's all you do because you never fix your behavior that got here in the first place.

Buddy, how much is your minimum monthly? It's $4.20. That's your monthly. Yeah. It's two payments of $2.10. Every two weeks that match my pay cycle. This is insane. What kind of...

Okay, when did you borrow this and for... So I know it was a part of that whole thing, but what did you use this for specifically? I had other things. I used it to pay off other loans. I had other loans kind of default on my account when I lost some jobs and we were cut back on our work. So I went extra negative in all of the accounts.

And my tricks that had worked in the past did not work. What tricks worked? Oh, the transferring back and forth over and over? Yeah, the transferring back and forth had happened. And my family doesn't support financially. so because of that, I tried to find a way that I could handle it myself.

Well, good. I'm glad they don't enable you. Why would they enable such bullshit behavior and immaturity? Why would they? You think they should fuck you? No, I wouldn't. They, you know, I love my family dearly,

and they'll give me food and they'll give me shelter if I ask for it, but I don't want to burden them with this. I want to be a, I want to be, like, just like how I want a family. I don't want them to have to worry. Buddy, in what world could you possibly take care of a family?

probably a good like Lord of the Rings kind of world where we're just like giving bread You're obnoxious Oh you might be There's a few It happens once a quarter Once a quarter Not that I'm everyone's biggest fan

But once a quarter I meet someone who I think is The guy I've hated the most In the history of this show I don't think I like you I don't think I like you I like you I don't think I like you

You're annoying You your personality Your existence is bad Your existence is bad Oh fuck I'm gonna be a piece of shit this episode Because I do not like you And I am incapable of hiding my emotions I'm incapable

It is one of my biggest flaws One of my biggest flaws by far Okay And then you were denied by upstart for serial delinquency I had applied for I already had one loan with them So I had applied for a second one And yeah, when the mobile loans came through, that was to fight the serial delinquency

because I couldn't make two payments that I was struggling with. Oh, fuck, man. Have you been making your payments on that? How many discounts does USAA auto insurance offer? Too many to say here. Multi-vehicle discount. Safe driver discount. New vehicle discount. Storage discount.

How many discounts will you stack up? Tap the banner or visit usa.com slash auto discounts. Restrictions apply. Yes. Really? How? I mean, working the 8 to 5 and then getting up early and donating and then playing whatever shows. You're doing morning nuts.

Morning nuts. They open at 7 a.m. I'm more of an evening nut. It's okay. I don't know if I can pull it off myself now that I'm 30, unfortunately. All the giz works, you know, whenever, wherever. Well, that's not true. That's not true at all.

It's true, 48 hours. You've got to wait that and drink plenty of water. True. Okay. Okay. So do you go every 48? Not every week, especially because... Why, though?

If you're willing to do it, why not take full advantage? Just because when I have the good-paying shows that come in, the 300 to 700 types, that'll keep me out until about 12 or 1 a.m. Good, wake up a nut. Then the nut's not as pure. Doesn't matter. They give you the money. That is...

I'll consider that. I just need you to make money because this is insane, buddy. This is insane. We're talking $25,000 a year just to literally jack off. And that's my passion. It's a decent passion. Okay, I have Empower slash Tilt. Yeah, they just switched over to the name Tilt from Empower,

but it is a banking app that basically links with your bank account, watches what you get paid regularly, and then will cash advance you towards your paycheck. Crazy. This is crazy. That's why I advocate for the Fizz card because it only has to spend what's in your checking account. So it's basically a debor card that builds credit. That's what I advocate for. This is madness. This is madness. And you owe 309 repaid zero. Shocker. Oh, but you have to pay the full thing. Yes, they give you $300 and then you pay back 309. What a deal. Okay. So when do you have to pay it back? Oh, so it happens every month.

that you have to pay and what happens if you don't, do you? Yeah, yeah, it happens every month and it really happens actually every two weeks. So they just have unlimited money. They just get unlimited $18 for me forever. You're on a subscription to them forever because the moment you pay this back, you need it.

Yeah, yeah, and then in... Oh, my goodness. Oh, can someone please take my morals away from me so I can just start one of these companies? Because this is incredible money, incredible money for nothing. Yeah, it tracks itself for markets as a way to track your spending and to work with how to see where it's going. And it actually does the breakdowns.

And that's where I got my general ideas of what was happening. Because a lot of those on that list are in a similar vein. Dude, I don't even know, man. I don't even know, man. And I'm being told you figured out how to scam the AI assistant to get more time to pay things off? Yeah, well, all of them basically use AI assistance for whenever you need support or whatnot. So on one of the previous times when I did have a hard time to make that payment or to get it taken care of,

I went in and asked for an extension. And then I found out that if you say that you can't make it in the next two weeks, the AI assistant basically says, all right, when can you make it? And it'll give you about a month. So I've done that a handful of times where I try to do. just extend the time. So instead of $18 of profit going to them,

it's $9.00 of profit. Dude, I don't know, man. And you think you're doing something good? You think you're making progress? You think you're being effective in life with that? All the time and energy you spend on that, buddy. It's just like, what is your hourly at this $8 to $5? $20 an hour.

Do you have a degree? Yes. What? Piano performance in a business minor. As someone who went, what business minor? Shocker. As someone who went to school for a relatively similar thing, what a worthless degree?

But you can leverage, you can take the fact that you had a degree, became a while round of student, and graduated, get some work experience, leverage that into a career position at some point. You decided not to, clearly. That was never an option in my brain. It seemed kind of just like chasing the dream

and following, I've been a yes man to whatever project comes towards me. I've had a lot of friends blow up and go off to bigger, better careers with their, performance, whether it be on Twitch. Like one of the things I worked with a lot was playing music behind Dungeons and Dragons games, and a lot of those people now are working on big networks as D&D players or game show contestants, things of that nature. And hoping, you know, I would like, I'd hope for that to be something, to be a piano player

at one of those fun kind of live show networks. Play breaking point again. I added some chords on the end because I didn't memorize the whole thing. I just memorized that motif. did. So all your friends became successful. And now the thing you've done at the highlight of your career is play a song that someone else wrote while they're in college for a student project poorly

on their own show. I thought it was beautiful. Maybe it's time to go into a career. There's a lot of shodgy music careers. You can make really bad music. Or you can go do a f*** career. Working a call center, man. It's more effective.

Yeah, you had asked earlier about things to pursue other. options and the biggest one that also kind of pertains was going back to school for music therapy. Oh, you know where your money goes? I just learned smuggling in illegal cigarettes into California. Yeah, they made menthol cigarettes illegal about a year and a half ago. They lumped them in with the flavored vapes that the kids smoke and there's just, that's the one last thing that I have on my vices. Your bank might not be your friend. I see so many people on financial audit get stuck in vicious cycles of paying off late fees, overdraft fees, and interest from their own bank,

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The thing is, that is the third time you've used essentially the similar excuse. For smoking, for continuing your evening low-paying music, and for going in miscellaneous bullshit. It's basically the third thing. It's like, it's the last thing I have. It's the one thing I have. There's nothing else I have. Pick something, buddy. Yeah, living day by day, trying to take it each day by day has just been hard to kind of see farther than that,

especially with the debts that have been running over. Are you at a pack a day? I'm a little bit less. A little bit less than a pack. About 16 a day. That's insanity. Do you not know how insanity that is that is disgusting and horrible for you? It seems like less years where I don't have to file extensions.

That is true. Less years that I have to allow you on the follow-up channel. That is true. So that's essentially, yeah, it's 1750. A pack of cigarettes is 1750. But what about the smuggling? Or is that what it costs? That's what it costs me.

So 1750 a day is your subscription to lung cancer. Basically. You've subscribed to lung cancer for 1750 a day. 365 days a year. Okay, that is 6,0003. That's insane. That is insane. That is like, that's two months of your income.

Goes to cigarettes a year. Two months of your income goes to siggies. To future lung cancer. To just. And it goes to feeling so, so good. No, it goes to you looking older than 35 because you smoke. I mean, I got the Botox before I came on. I thought it would look better.

Dustin, you got lines on that forehead like crazy. That Botox is not working, my dude. Oh, and I did come. I'm with a big ass pimple on my forehead, too. I made sure that I was here for it. Does Botox do anything about that? I don't know. But it ain't working.

Okay, so I'm not going to write down the 309 is a debt because, I mean, like, you can just pay it off and it's done and you're required to pay it off. But it's because it's not a minimum. Well, okay, I'll write it down. Okay, so he owes 309, but the minimum fee payment is just paying it off. So I'm not going to add that into the minimums. So you just got to pay it and it's done. This is the one time. Listen, and if you ever decide you want to grow up and get a real job,

I'll get you a course career certification anyway, okay? Course careers. So you try to get into something. I'll get you like an accounting certification and a trade certification, something to just get your butt in the door and start making money. Okay, so we don't even have statements. These are just written down on paper. Yeah, why?

Those ones are apps that don't present statements similar to the earn and apps. People usually give screenshots, and I'm pretty sure Upstar has statements. We've received many upstart statements in our time, have we not? Yes. Yes, but it's a pretty chunky stack. I think we extended some grace. We extended some grace. I had never seen my credit report before, but it was 52 pages.

There's quite a lot. It seemed like a lot for a report of credits. So earning you owe that 300 immediately, right? It's the same type of thing. So we'll add it to the debt. There's no AI extension on that one. that one is every two weeks. I don't even fucking understand, Jim, man.

Found the ways I could make it work without asking friends or family for money. It's the easiest thing to do without troubling them and not being a burden on them. So $300 to earn it. And how frequently are you using that?

I mean, you've started using it since 2018, which is right when the app started. Like literally when the app started, you downloaded it and you just fucking started going crazy. Yeah, I also get, ads for it whenever I watch this show, which is crazy. Really? Yeah.

That's interesting. Yeah, and then... Not a sponsor, but it's a ad. Yeah, it's interesting. But then with that, yeah, they used to rise. Well, actually, I should be clear. I have to note it. The same with consolidations and a lot of other things,

0% credit cards. It is okay. There are ways to actually utilize a tool like this, but every single person, obviously, on this show does not know how to use it. They get abused by it. They abuse it, and they get... There are ways to finesse. You were just using it incorrectly, but go ahead. Keep going.

I was just going to say that when the layoff that I previously spoken about happened, I had actually used those loans to pay off all of these in one giant lump sum. But then once I had no work or nothing promised, I had a very weird job for a minute, but it wasn't very good paying. And that one, that was when I paid them off, but then with the layoffs, it kind of ended up making me go back to them and not utilizing them correctly, thinking I would get paid for something

and then losing it. Okay, what is this Aish-Cast Express? This is it a 769% interest rates. Is it a payday loan? Yes, it's a payday loan. Oh, yes, a fucking payday loan. What are we doing, dude, just so you can have your menthols?

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Tickets on sale now at Yamavatheater.com, only at Yamava Resort and Casino, celebrating its 40th anniversary. You win? Must be 21 to enter. Bills. No, it's mentholz because you'd be able to pay off your other bills if you didn't have a $6,000 a year subscription to mentholz?

That was one that I just found, and it was accessible. How do you do this import? What is this? This is mentholz. I basically, in my days when I was partying a lot, I would support, I basically put a smoke shop lady's son through college because I paid so much for different things back in the past from her.

And so her little payoff to me is that she brings them across the border and then charges a little bit, the Nevada border, the Ohio border. You can't get them. So she sells menthol's onto the table? Yes. That is wild. I love how we always create industries by being. And I think it's worth noting that when I was still working at that YouTube spot,

there was a guy who would leave his business cards around because he sells menthols for $25 a pack in California. And he'll only sell a minimum of two packs. Well, good about it. It's minty, right? They're minty. Yeah, it's minty and just, some of them have more nicotine in them.

You're paying a premium for that? Shuts down my brain a little bit quicker than the others. Plus, I don't like the taste of normal cigarettes. I only like the one cigarette. They taste like what. I brought my lozenges and my gum today because I am trying to shift down and counting how much I do daily

and then also adding in alternatives. Why is your life so performative? It's so weird. Yeah, it's, it's, It's funny because it's not me trying to have a voice as much as it's me trying to be the sprinkles on all the other artistic cupcakes that I'm surrounded by. It's always felt like... What the fuck are you talking about? Well, so being performative, it's always I'm assisting the talent.

I'm assisting the thing, whether I was working production or whether I'm playing piano. It's never my name on the marquee. Still isn't. Literally, you played three things on today's show. Two of them were one song that I made as a literal school assignment in college. And it was a brilliant song. It's fine. It was too long.

I should have got about two minutes from it. The comments of it said that it was one of the hardest songs they've ever played, too, which I thought was really cool. It is. But, yeah, it's, you know, it's finding that voice. That's something that I've been trying to explore over. Also, I'm going to have to link it because he did not give it a good representation. I'll tell you that.

Yeah. I want that to be my legacy. I mean, I can do it again if you want. No, no, no. But yeah, trying to find, I mean, trying to find confidence. in myself. This is, you know,

all of these things are decisions I tried to make to step forward and be my own person without asking other people for help, without trying to trouble my family,

my friends. So instead you trouble me. Wonderful. $255 owed to ace. Now, is there a minimum monthly payment with that? That's also a, or that's the payday loan.

But what's the, so it's 255 given to you and then 300 is paid back. Over the course of when? A month, yes. And so every time? Yes. And you just repeat it? Yes.

Hopefully 769% interest. Oh, fuck it. Caleb, get rid of your morals. Get rid of your morals. Go make an infinite amount of money. There's so many dumb f***s out there that will give you an infinite amount of money. Oh, just abuse them. Oh, what the fuck? Why can't... Oh, I'm a gooner prime.

I'm a gooner prime. Why can't I also just be a piece of shit that milk society? We can work together on a theme song for that company. Shut up! I was trying to have a moment with myself, pretending you weren't here. Gooner Prime. Dude, you don't, you don't even know how close I am.

You don't even know. We can go to the sperm clinic if you're that close. Oh, I do not like you. Audience, I do not like him. Guner Prime. Shut the fuck off. Seriously. Seriously.

Seriously. I don't fucking fuck you. What, hey, hey, you little, why are you here? Why am I spending my time with you? Because I don't know where to turn anymore. And I am screwed. I'm screwed. It doesn't matter.

Your skin's turning yellow from all the shit you do to your body, so you're not going to be here long anyway. Yeah, I want to get out of it. I want to get out of it with outgoing 40 years or whatnot, paying the super big 10,000 amounts on them without cashing out my retirement. And with building an emergency fund, because I'd like to have a dog, I'd like to have a family. I haven't dated in forever because of the,

self-hatred that is present. Oh, my. He's a horrible human. You are the person that nobody wants to be around. You are the person that nobody wants to be around. And I am forced to be for my job and I have the best job in the world. Why am I complaining about it? Because it's miserable right now.

Oh, is anyone even watching this? Ah! 2,163 Odaupstart. For what? and give me more details. Yeah, that was the $2,000 loan that came a while back to help with, like, the time

when I was in the layoff. Yeah, I get a weird self-confidence or a weird feeling of myself whenever I'm in, whenever I have debt or whenever I have a negative bank account and can't really do anything or go anywhere

because it feels like you have to spend money to make music or to do any of this stuff, to even go to your day job. How much does you even spend on a stupid little piece? I don't think like that. What are you wasting your money on just so you can be cute on camera? This one,

I mean, this is actually gifted to me, but it's only about 30 bucks. Gifted by who? One of the groups I work with. Because I work with, I also coach and teach several different groups like improv techniques. Why didn't you buy yourself?

I mean, I have another one that I did buy myself. It's rainbow colored. So this one's sentimental? I mean, not too much. It's pretty, It's just a good easy thing to take on a plane

that I don't have to check when I put in my bag. Okay. Okay. That's the way you're spending money on things. I'm glad you at least didn't spend money on that because I just don't understand what you're trying to do. So the upstart is 2,163. Tell me, what's your minimum monthly payment?

For that one, it's $54? $250? Every what? No, $54. $54? Yeah, once a month. Okay, so $54 once a month. What is the interest rate on this?

Episode! I'm buying him a new one because I'm not a piece of... But I had to confirm it wasn't sent a... Mental first! I hate this episode. I want to see that happen with a Laboo-Boo-Oh, trust me. I'm burning that thing. Okay.

$54 a month upstart. When did you take that out? Did you already answer that question? No, I didn't answer with a date. No, that one I took out in, that was October. And what was it for? Because that's before your November crash out. Yeah.

I actually do feel better. That one, yeah, that one was to kind of help just with the moving out and moving around expenses. To help me pay off all the other monthly things that had been tabulated up. Okay. Oh, dude, do you have a credit one? I have two credit ones. Two credit ones? It's like the worst credit cards you can get.

That means you're in the worst position you could ever possibly be in. Yeah, that happened after I went through the debt relief program. They were the only credit card that would give me any sort of card. Of course, because they make an infinite amount of money off of you. They got to pay for their stadium in Vegas somehow. I didn't know that they have a stadium in Vegas. That's hilarious. Are they the sphere?

It's not a stadium, is it? I thought it is. It's a venue. Credit one. Okay. Certainly not paid off every month. I'll tell you that. Not purchasing.

Oh, it's because it's over the credit limit by 86. It's over the credit limit by about 25%. I've been paying the minimum, but that doesn't bring it down to the even that limit. No, it doesn't. Because you went well be of. And you know why? Because there's, you know, late fees, you dumb.

If you pay the minimum but it's a late and then a late, feet comes on, you're right, it doesn't go below. Oh, weird little bit. Wait, let me check that math one more time. Oh, true, I'm correct. Who would have fucking thought, you moron? You think you go and you pay late, your minimums is going to go down?

Fuck you. You dumb piece of shit. How the fuck do you even say, oh, look at me, I'm paying my minimums, guys. I'm paying my minimums. This is you every morning. I paid my minimums. Oh, my goodness, and that's going to make it go down.

Oh, but I pay it late. You! You! Why would you even set it up with I pay my minimums and it's not going down? Fuck you! No shit is not going down,

you dumb, actual... Yeah, 7.15 a.m. I'm always jerking it like that. But that is, you know, that, the credit one is the one that I've dropped the ball on. That one I kind of got spiteful for. By three months now, you've been late.

You've actual fucking dumb. Why do you exist on the same planet as me? Why am I not entitled to be? around better humans. Never been one to be entitled. I talk against entitlement all the time, but this is the first entitlement I will grab, and it is I am entitled to not have the deal

with pieces of shit. Oh, I hate this. Okay. It's, uh, you know, that card, I just, I kind of hate the company, and it was done out of spite for a little bit. That doesn't make sense. They're making more money off of you. You benefited them, you actual dumb creature.

Well, now that I know, there's a... Shut the fuck, I don't even give a... Class action. What? There's a class action lawsuit going against credit one right now, too, for the predatory tactics. I'm sure there is, and who even knows it will actually work? Class action doesn't mean it succeeded. Yeah, it got me inspired, though. It just made me feel better about the... Are you a part of it?

Yes, I signed up with their... I signed up with the website I found it through. It's like Washington Post had done a post about it. It's interesting. I'm curious to see where that goes, but... I don't know. You opened this to 2019. Like, if it was fully taken advantage of... of you predatory things, then you would have paid it off at least a couple years ago. I said you're above the credit limit like a double. Yeah, I paid it off when I took out the big.

There's another fund that you're going to get to that we haven't dealt with. And that one I actually paid it off and then had to, I used it as an emergency card for those emergency menthols. Hundreds of dollars of fees and interest from that card alone this year. Normally a $30 minimum payment. Right now is 90 because he's late.

the past few months. I used to make it to the end of this and actually give you a budget because I know you actually want fucking help. It's just, it's your, it's your personality that is performative

and quirky millennial, and I hate it. So I know you're genuine and that's why I'm going to do this still. Trying to stay positive and grateful. No, buddy,

you look like someone who's been HIV positive for the last 10 years. Go survival. $557. $5. you're what happens before they invented prep. Is that something you do in Excel?

Okay, another late fee. Why? For the Credit One, I honestly had lost track of it. What did you lose track of? You can have automatic payments on. What do you mean I lost track? Well, so everything kind of turns into a day-by-day payment with all the funds and the mixing between

of these different kind of one-off cash advance loans that link up with the account, like the Tilt, or the Earning or the Clio that's going to come up. And with those different ones, I get to a place where I take care of some of them and then didn't take care of things like Credit 1 like I should have. Okay. Yeah, that's crazy. Late fees, like madness, hundreds of dollars, interest, late fees,

28% interest. Over the limit, you owe $557.5. The limit is 500. The minimum payment is normally 30. Right now it's 60 because you've been late by a month. Cast Central payday loan. People don't even call themselves payday loans anymore. This is when you know you've gone to the bottom of the barrel.

That one was through an email. So you got an email and you signed up. Yes. Oh, you creature. When, where, why, how, why? That one was about last year, February. Last year, February. So don't tell me it got this in November of last year.

It was last year, February. Fuck you. Well, that one, yeah, that one, I mean, that one was kind of, I didn't want to use any of the other ones I had used before. And then when I read reviews online, that one was a little bit better than Ace or Speedy or the other ones that are... But if you're taking out a singular payday loan, that's bad. There is no good payday loan. You can finesse a lot of things.

The pay advance, you can even kind of finesse here and there. Payday loan? I can't think of a way to finesse that. Yeah, it made... I mean, the $45, or the... Yeah, the $45 charge made sense when I had good jobs on the books that seemed like I'd be able to pay them forward, trying treating it as a cash advance. But I've had a lot of jobs fall through or contractual things.

So you still owe $2.90 and you took it out? Well, it's because you just do it every month, don't you? It's one of those. Oh, promo code, burn it down $9. Yes. Cash Central. Okay, it looks like you owe $290.30. Again, not going to put it in the minimum

because you just got to pay it once and it's done. But you're just in this cycle where you're just in this cycle where you're just using one to pay for the other and to pay for another to pay for another to pay for another. That's like the main reason I wanted to come here because it's kind of felt like a brick wall. I first thought I was taking care of it myself

and then it just is completely... Without a paddle. This is just fucking crazy, man. Oh my gosh. I can't believe this is even more going. This one's out of Las Vegas. 188.86% interest rate. I'm not even like surprised.

anymore. Okay, here we go. 36.76.76 a month? No, every other week. Okay, so it's, I mean, it's just two monthly payments and then it's done. You borrowed 125 for what? Literally $125. $125. I'm not saying it's an insignificant amount of money, but when it comes to like everything, it shouldn't be make or break of life and you had to borrow that at 188.86% interest. what? What happened? I needed gas. I needed food. Yeah, getting around in my RAV-4, getting from the gigs, the west side. I mean, I drive probably about

way too much. It makes it... That's an interesting number, but that makes it so that obviously, obviously, then these gigs are just not worth it, because you're not even getting paid what you're using to travel.

It's just not worth it, man. You gotta stop. Troy and community bands and just call it there, buddy. This is not working. This isn't working. I don't know if your networking's flawed or if your skills are flawed, but something's flawed. Yeah. I want to play.

There's things that I want to still play, but then I think there are a lot that they are starting to look a little lame, and it's not worth it to go down to Hollywood and do six hours for 30 bucks. Maybe go with the wind. Go with the wind. You just said, All of the market there is moving out anyway. They're going to tax advantage locations. They're going to London.

They're going to Georgia. They're going to Vancouver. They're leaving. Even Texas just passed a massive subsidy and encouragement for film organizations. And maybe they'll come here. Yeah, I've heard of some things here. But then it's actually, yeah, because with that, when I, before I moved back home or back to my home state, there was, I was actually surviving. Wait, what's your home state?

California. Wait, where were you? Where were you? I was in Arizona. Why? Because I went to Arizona State. Oh, oh, yeah. Okay, sorry.

That's where I studied music. And then after I got out of school, you know, the networking was kind of pre-built from school. And it was very easy to make a living just doing the music prostitute life. Ever thought your tax return felt like a courtroom drama and you're the defendant? Well, what if I told you you could turn that chaotic vision into a full-blown cinematic masterpiece? With today's sponsor, M-Video AI, now you can. NVIDO is the only AI video creator that turns your wildest ideas into actual full-length videos. Not just random clips, we are talking beautiful, hyper-realistic videos, and it all starts with a simple text prompt.

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and start turning your ideas into stunning videos today. This will save you hundreds on editing, animation, and studio fees. All right, let's get back to today's episode. Well, then it should have been able to be maintained if it was that easy. In Arizona. Wishing you could be there live for the big game, soaking up the atmosphere in the crowd, but too often, life gets busy,

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Actual prices may vary. Limited time offer. Yes, then I was kind of enticed with it. I don't know. It's kind of hot there. It is. That's why I would never. It's pretty toasty. I would never. And the rent was super cheap. It was 475. Brandon, I would never. He's giving me a look, he lived in Arizona for long ago. Why the fuck I live in the middle of the desert?

Not near any coast. You're not getting any benefit. At least Vegas, you can drive to L.A. in three hours. There's Filippertos in Arizona. I'm not going to drive for six hours to go to Frizona, Phoenix. I mean, after I moved back, I was also playing casinos. Urban sprawl. It's not even walkable. It's just suburbia forever. Yeah. It's just depression and stick a barrel on my mouth immediately.

They have a lot of casino. The last city I would consider moving to. Yeah, they have a lot of well-paying casinos there. too that also work out well which we're good for the music gigs. Those ones usually pay 300 to 500. Okay, so this gets paid off in two months, but then you probably just take it again and we'll find out.

Okay, money line. We've seen Moneyline before. Okay, what's going on? So with Moneyline, it was a credit builder loan. One of those ones where once you have an account with them, they give you a certain amount of money and then as you pay that off biweekly, I believe in $35

increments, it reflects on your credit, building. Yeah, but it's at a 23.99% interest rate. This is not a generous program. And then once you get to the amount, like if they give you $800, then once you pay off $600,

they hold $200 in a reserve that's unlocked once you've made those good payments. Okay, your monthly payment comes out to $78.48. Every two weeks with the paycheck. No, that's your monthly because I added your biweekly payments together. Oh, copy. But instead of 23.99% interest rate, it is not beneficial to you.

This is making money. This is making money forever. After I did the first debt relief, my credit was real low. So it's kind of come up much higher than it was then, which feels better. But still don't have a lot of options in building or getting funds whenever this is a different thing? This money line insta-cash? That is similar to, yes, that's through the same thing, through the same app. But it's...

it's a different thing. Yeah, similar to... What do you owe to this? That one I owe about $800. What's your minimum? The minimum, it's a one-time payment. So this is back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, and you pay a fee for it every time, huh?

Yeah, it forwards you $760, but then you pay back $808. Oh, true. These companies, man. These companies. But listen, yeah, these companies are evil, but look at this guy. Look at the life choices. he's made. He's actively decided to go do these and not cut back on his wants in order to

even while doing his nothing, his nothing income hobbies. Like this is all on him. He signed up. We're the Hartford with decades of experience ensuring millions of unique small businesses when it comes to your small business insurance. Thank you. One size absolutely does not fit all. Get a quote or find an agent today at thehartford.com slash small business. For the rent, I don't have sympathy for that. He signed up for the expensive or an inexpensive area because he wanted to be with his cult leader. This is like

normally, I'm vehemently against these companies, but it's not even their fault. You just did this. And you just kept going. But where else would someone go then? A job. The market, though, with that, I mean... Fuck your market. Buddy, you could get a job paying better

than $20 an hour. I mean, Costco right now is at $30 an hour. Oh, uh-oh, he solved it. So that was actually a pretty opportune thing I saw in the past couple weeks. You get a hot dog on the way out, buddy. It's the prime life. I'm more of a chicken roll guy, but I'm down with that. False. That's trash. Yeah, I mean, it is, you know, it's to do the art, I mean, because that's the one thing with working where I'm at right now. I was working production and was making good money from that because those days would be like $2.50 a day for the short, for the short three-month contract or whatever it is. But now,

I'm working at a more corporate entity that utilizes like vacation hours and has... Get a job at Costco! Then go get a job at a second Costco and then a third Costco. Go get a million Costco-like jobs. Costco on repeat,

give up your stupid passions that are not working. Or Trader Joe's? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's another payday one. Oh, well, sure is that 230.04% interest, this is insane. Oh, my goodness.

Are you making history? Is this the most amount of payday loans we've had? It is. Bram-pah-b-b-pown. Oh, I'm going to murder you. Can't break my face. Because it's already broken? Yeah.

It says it's just sounded like my mom now. Okay. So $225 for advanced America, very patriotic. Got to support America. Well, you're draining it. Yeah, two of these four payday loans, by the way, do still have an option that you can once a year go for a payment plan of doing four payments.

I don't think we've gone over it yet, but Speedy Cash and Cash Central do not offer that program, but Advance American Ace Cash do offer that. Well, are you going to do it? I don't know, because you just have to make the full payment and then borrow it again. It's just a endless repeat. Yeah, I mean, I was looking at the,

I think it's called the popcorn method. My friend who has been in a similar struggle told me to pay it off and then take less and then pay it off and then take less. You see how his personality is insane, by the way, not with what he was just doing, right there. But with the bam-b-b-b-b-b-and-every-thing, this is an ultimate. Now that we know how bad this is and how this is more payday looms than anyone's ever had in the history of the show, you are cope performing and trying to be interesting and trying to be entertaining and trying

to be funny because you're just coping through your life because there's nothing but misery and despair because there is nothing here. There is nothing here upside for you. Your hobbies, your passions are not working, your failure. It's, that. You're taking out more payday loans than anyone in the history of the show that features all the worst finances you could possibly imagine. You have nothing. So your little goofs and gaffes and your performative nature, it's just a massive cope. You know, I've got to find happiness somehow because otherwise the hopelessness just kind takes over everything. But unfortunately, your desire and quirkiness to try to find happiness

drains everyone else around you of happiness. You just don't know that yet. Because people aren't normally candid enough to tell it to your face. Luckily, I have the show's an excuse to do so. Okay, speedy cash. That one's just a payday loan. Just the payday loan. Number four, 255, and you get payback 300. Hammer loans, ladies and gentlemen.

Hammer loans, I swear, I swear. I just let, I need to let myself be just a horrible person, and fucking I will make all the money. I liked the other name, but... Huh? I said I liked the other name. Gooner Prime. I thought that was a fun.

That's like an energy drink, buddy. Okay. Energy that gets you funds. Okay. Wow, we're actually to a traditional credit card. Who, I, no way, no, we're not. Nope. It's a car title one.

A car title loan. Yes. What the fuck is wrong with you? Why? I had two, I had two pre-assas before that had completely died. and after that happened, I got this car. I knew he was gay. I used up all of my savings to kind of get to this car.

And so after that, I still had these other loans that were sticking around and I had this all amassed together. And then that was when I thought if I take out the one, I could have a debt consolidation type payment with the car title loan. but then that all fell apart with the layoffs. Yeah, that sucks. Sucks. I mean, you owe over what your limit even is on this.

It's kind of crazy. I'm sure you were late, right? Actually, that way. You know the full thing. I haven't been late on this one. How are you over what you're literally able to borrow them? That doesn't make sense. Well, they gave me, I mean, I think it's the interest with it.

They gave me the 10K or that it was like 11.5 with that one, because it was first. Your previous balance was 448, and then it went up to 7. 56. Yeah, well, they, they, I re-loaned when I was... Oh, fuck, man. That's insane. That's insane. Okay, $7506 and $84.000.

Yeah, we lost a couple months of work. We lost January and February due to the fires. The places I was working with that. Another reason to move. Yeah, that was the way we couldn't. I didn't know where else to go. It's crazy, man. Yeah, 30% interest on that piece of shit.

Oh, one main financial. We've seen her. We love her. Here she is. That was the same one. That we already saw? Yeah, that was the one. This is all one main.

What? The past two pages you just threw. Well, but this balance is substantially higher. Oh, then that must have been the re-loan? There's only one. I only have one loan with one main. It was re-looned where I got the 10K, and then they brought it up to 11.

They gave me 500 on top of that. Oh, so you owe a total of 12,456? Yes. Oh, fuck. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. So, first national, is a part of that? No, first national. Wait, what's the one main?

So this, uh... So this is the, um, so we got mixed up. That was, I thought that was... First National. Oh, I thought you threw a one main page. I haven't seen one main, have it? Okay, I thought, by bad. This is a new death.

I done screwed it up. No, so for, I was mixing a one. up then. The first national is a cash advance that they see against the $12,456. That's the car title. Yeah. This is the car title? Yeah. Oh. Oh. Okay.

Your monthly payment, which I'm sure you don't make, is $446. I do make it. I haven't missed that one. How? Like borrowing all this in months? And jizzing cups. In months. Yeah, that one I make it's twice a month every time with the pay cycle.

35.49% interest rate is crazy. I can't. That is fucking crazy. I didn't know any other options. I didn't know where else to turn. And then that was like one of the only things I have of value. A career. How do I afford school when that happens?

I don't give a shit about, wait, you took this on when Arizona State? No, no, no. I said how do I like go for a career? Yes, a career would be a great idea about it. Do Costco can be a career. Yeah, I mean, I don't have many things that are assets to me. we were talking about it before I came on here. No shit.

Not a cool thing. I mean, I have one, like, cool Batman artwork, but it's not worth much at all. I don't like you. You don't like Alex Ross? And then a pawn shop to... Yes, two things there. You owe a pawn shop to...

Yes. What? It's my Fender Rhodes. It's a... What is that? It's a Fender keyboard. Oh, okay. So it's a keyboard that instead of strings,

it uses Tine Bells. You have pawn shop loans? That's also a first time in this show history. Yeah, it's got... This is sad. Tube Amp. This is becoming just sad. Oh, fuck.

Okay, so how do... Go ahead and walk us through. If I'm not mistaken, you give it to them, they give you money, but you have to give them more money to get it back, right? Yeah, so they gave me a $400 loan when I lent over my keyboard and tube amp, and then six months down the road, you pay $4.35 to get it. back. Six months? They actually changed it.

It was six months last year because I've not the first time I've done it. This year it's down to four months. But you can also go in and pay that $35 interest if you can't pay the full amount on time. So you go in if you can't pay $4.35, you pay $35 and then you have another four months to

either get the full amount or extend the interest again. Oh my goodness. What a fucking racket. Dude, you've fallen into every trap. The only trap I don't know if it's like just like what is it called when you brought a loan shark I haven't done those recently I did those back in my early 20s in my early 20s in my early 20s tell me you have to tell me tell me yeah I mean I did one of those like they gave me I was working at a five dollar store on Hollywood Boulevard where I had a regular a regular paycheck and I was

very performative there I was the MC but with that I was into some dastardly kind of things and partying a lot. And from there, they would give you $1,500. And then, if I remember correctly, it was about 6,000 percent interest. So in total, you would pay back about $24,000. You get $15,000. Why when? Who gave this to you?

Not name, but just a person that would come up? It was, yeah, it was like a Google search. I thought they've been outlawed because those are the one things that I try to look and not fall into. I mean, I have some pretty bad interest percentages, but the mobile loans is the closest to that. But on the other side of that, the loan, the shark loans, I was always told they were called shark loans, but those ones, yeah, they would be upwards of, no, I mean like the shady dude

at a bar that'll give you money. If you don't pay it back, he'll literally break your knees. Oh, no, this was like a Google. This was like actually through. That's still insane. Yeah, through money. When the last time you took one of those out? When I was 22, so 13 years ago.

Jeez, 22? Yeah. 20? Like 22, 22. That's insane. What were you doing? Why did you have to take it out? I was living outside of my means.

I was living outside of my means, and I was definitely partying my ass off. Trying to, I mean, trying to just, like, forget everything. Trying to just be in a stupid moment that I learned is kind of not in gratitude. What now is different? What now has changed that has made you come on here and actually want to change?

Because I know you have. You're just obnoxious. Yeah. But what has actually changed? I'm realizing that, you know, there's a lot of things that you've got to be more, I got to show gratitude. I got to have gratitude. I mean, I try to force the gratitude. And that's where this happiness kind of comes.

And then I also got to just kind of give myself grace. I hated, I've hated myself for the longest time. That was me. I mean, when I took those out, that was the longest. Like I said, that's the future ivory problem. Future ivory will deal with it. Let's do this other stuff and party. Who knows what will happen?

Maybe I won't make it through the weekend. It'll be a fun time. And nowadays, I do want to keep going and keep doing stuff. I mean, a family would be ideal, but to actually just be a normal human who doesn't have the problems like this. And the end-all be all running around like a chicken with his head cut off when things fall apart. What is this?

Klarna? That is... I heard Uh-huh from from Lindsay So I guess it's Klarna Clarnia Yeah

Old baby you got Klarna I did Klarna For a flight No and TikTok shop And Airbnb And TikTok shop You actual creature You don't even remember

How fucked up were you Um Dude seriously Yeah I didn't I didn't know I have a TikTok shop account Are you getting Scam

Lindsay just asked That's just she just gave a face of like shocking confusion that I have not seen in since I've met her to you. Yeah, that's, I mean, that's, that's even a document that I don't remember even submitting. I mean, this was one of, like, the most chaotic that we've ever put together in terms of documents. And thank you for working through it. This was a financial crime scene. Yeah, I'm glad everyone's still alive. May I see that?

Yeah, it has autopay with TikTok and auto pay with Airbnb, and I don't use. either. These are accounts that I have. These aren't debts. You have 11,000 with Morgan Stanley. Two accounts make that. It's at about 10K right now.

So 10K total. So the 7's just a part of that? The 7 is the traditional IRA. So that's something extra. Separate? So 17,000. No, no, no. That's part of that.

That's part of the 10. Okay. Well, there's a piece of hope on there, I guess. I mean, that's surprising, oddly enough. Okay, I started the championship. checking account with negative $30. Can only move up from there?

Nope, that's not true. But you did at a 1,017 ending. Smoke Shop, no one surprised. ATM would draw, ATM transaction fees, smokeshop, bright.com membership, smoke shop, ATM cash overdraft approved. Great, $120. ATM would draw.

Smoke shop, Apple Bill, Starbucks, believe in the name of the smoke shop. for reasons you've learned earlier in the conversation. Jack in the box, ATM withdraw, smoke shop, ATM withdraw, Apple Bill, smoke shop, Starbucks, ATM withdraw, ATM withdraw, going in some BS, probably smoking. Starbucks, smoke shop 7-Eleven, N&S, N&S,

C-Store, C-Stor, Smoke Shop, Zelling out, Smoke Shop. Dude, this is disgusting. You should be disgusted hearing how much you get smoking, man. market traveler bullshit where traveler ATM withdraw overdraft authorized

$140 $140 $140. ATM withdraw recurring payment from CLEO AI Yeah that's Oh good

dude Reoccurring payment ATM withdraw for overdraft authorized $260 ATM would draw Starbucks

Hellcast liquor our smoke shop our crew smoke shop Apple bill Apple bill Smoke shop

Bubble Up Express, Smoke Shop, Viola, Vola, Smoke Shop, ATM, withdraw, Go in a GANS, ATM, ATM withdraw, Apple Bill, smoke shop, smoke shop, ATM, overdraft approved, $340. ATM, cash approved overdraft, $50. Bright.com membership, ATM withdraw $1,000. Yeah, a lot of those ATM withdrawals are when I would transfer it over to the other one

to prevent overdraft. I would acknowledge the overdrafts which could happen, but then I'd have 48 hours to get that covered. I don't know why you accept this life. Savings went down from 200 to 20. Well, this isn't even savings. Is this just another spending account? Smoke shop, BS, Google One,

Smoke Shop, ATM withdraw, intelligentsia, coffee, Microsoft, ATM which is raw, ATM which raw, ATM which raw, Hollywood Fringe, You team, what try, you team, what try, ATM, or draw. I can try to budget you out of this. The budget, unfortunately, is not going to be the answer

because I doubt you can afford it. This makes no sense. Like, does right now this doesn't make sense. The real answer to this big guy, the real answer to this is change your behavior to prove that you're actually able to budget and not completely mess up your life

and then go through bankruptcy. That's it. Get as close to a fresh start as you can. Lots of rage. this episode in annoyance and upsetting but the reality

and honestly it doesn't really matter because again these minimumity payments you're stuck in these cycles in order to get well the minimumity payments are actually not the worst

because you just have to what sucks is everything that's owed right up front in order to get rid of the other debts but the ongoing minimum payment's alone are not the actual worst

well they are bad for your income they're about a third of your income at $1,132 but you don't make enough to pay for all the rest of that, the ones that come out all in one to pay them off, you know? What's your rent? $800? $800 a month. Utilities?

It's included. Okay. Gas? Drive? Yeah, it's about, that one is about $250 a month. Phone bill? Phone bill is $25 a month. That's pretty good.

That's like doing helium, the one that we support. So that's good. Okay, car insurance. That one is, I just paid it, it is 137 a month, and it's every six months. 137 a month every six months? Yeah, I don't know, I don't know why, but they, I can pay it one. Groceries, $300, use our cooking book, known as a cookbook, budget-friendly cookbook, $100 for TP fun, medical health care.

I mean, you're probably dying. I get it through my job. Yeah, but co-pays or anything? Oh, yeah, okay, I pay about $50 a month in co-pays. Okay, $50. You have any pets? No. Thank you.

Subscriptions, I'll be 25. Figure it out from there. I mean, yeah, you're going to have room, but the fact is you just need to either let these things that you cannot pay off go to default and then just never going to debt again and then live by the skin of your teeth and pay off the rest of this debt

because technically you'll have a $700, $600, maybe $6 to $700. Okay, you need $2,800, $19. And one cent to survive. Unless there's something I'm missing. I don't think there is. 2,817. But if you bring in 3,500,

if you set aside some money for taxes, so 3,500 net, you can knock out the rest of the debt, but the fact is, the rest of the stuff, you're either going to have to settle some and give some up, or settle some and be dramatically late on some and then settle the rest the next month.

What you might be able to do. You might be able to settle over the course of multiple months and just be late on some, or just do bankruptcy after you change your behavior, or do a consolidation, get that payment on here and start, and then you only have maybe $200 left on a monthly basis, and you have to grind out your debt. There is a way to do this.

It's just changing behavior and no more fun. And honestly, I'd give up the little side hustles. I'd do some hobbies, absolutely. Do some music, you know, maybe to just keep up the resume and skills a little bit, but you've got to pick up an evening job, make more money, and pay off the debt. You can do this. This is a cycle of you making a choice at this point, because the numbers actually do work.

Are you serious in regards to the like doing the donations as often as possible? Because that's something I've thought about. If you don't care, then sure. Yeah, okay, cool. If you don't like it, then I don't want you to do it. No, no, no. If you don't give a f***, then sure. It's been considered.

I just kind of, I get so many judgy friends and family whenever I talk about it. You're already doing it so I don't see what the difference is. Nah. I mean, don't do it or do it is kind of what I'm thinking. Let's make more little ivories all around. All right, Lindsay told me we have something absolutely juicing in the potion. I don't know what it is yet. We're about to show you the teaser.

So make sure to join Hammer Lean do that. But let's get the Hammer Financial Score. Spending it in a budget, zero on ten. You overspent debt? This is like some of the worst debt ever without collections. And I'm sure you have collections. Zero out of ten. Emergency fund, there's nothing zero out of ten.

Surprise. 35 is still behind for retirement. But I'll give you a solid two out of ten for that. Real estate zero out of ten. So Hammer Financial score, we're going to round you up to a point five out of ten. Join Hammer Elite for the Post Show and get three exclusive shows posted Monday through Friday

on the best YouTube membership and the history of the platform. Subscribe below or click that join button. I'll see you on the post show. You owe money to your parents? I mean, I was taking advantage of them when I was a fucking junkie. They enabled this f***le sh**.

How much you owe to your parents? You're breaking history left and right. Members content. Click the link in the description or pin comment below and watch thousands. of hours of extra and uncensored content. You can't reason with the sun.

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