Financial Audit - Radical Femcel Is Literal Garbage | Financial Audit
Episode Date: February 5, 2025▶ Last week, you thought you saw the craziest post-show yet- but now that's not true... I get her roommate on the phone and she starts going WILD yelling at me and fighting. It's fully Caleb Springe...r. Wildest one yet: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLe_q9axMaeTbjN0hy1Z9xA/join ▶▶ Download my budgeting app today: https://calebhammer.com/app - don't overcomplicate this crap! All you need is an automated and SIMPLE budget. This comes with live CFP sessions, weekly classes, an online community, automatic account connections, my budget-friendly cookbooks, and exclusive discounts on my products Check it out :) Get your first month for a dollar at https://getkikoff.com/caleb today! Click the link https://relayfi.com/calebhammer and get $100 when you sign up for a business checking account with Relay. Terms and conditions apply. ▶▶▶ Download my budgeting app today: https://calebhammer.com/app ▶ Watch this episode's *POST* *SHOW* + get *MORE* Financial Audit here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLe_q9axMaeTbjN0hy1Z9xA/join ▶ Come to my live show in Austin on Feb 22nd: https://www.calebhammer.com/live ▶EDUCATION: 1) Bundle my budgeting, debt + investing program for *15%* *off* : https://calebhammer.com/classpack/ 2) The best budgeting program online: https://calebhammer.com/budget 3) Get my investing class and I’ll give you a $100 moomoo cash reward: https://calebhammer.com/investing 4) Win with GOOD debt and get out of BAD debt correctly, learn in my debt program: https://calebhammer.com/formula 5) Get your own free Hammer Financial Score: https://www.calebhammer.com _______________________ ▶RESOURCES 1) Checking & Savings: Get up to 4.60% APY, pay no account fees, and earn up to $300 when you sign up and set up direct deposits. Terms apply: https://creator.sofi.com/c/5535481/2068695/19219?adcampaignid=bank&adnetwork=brand *affiliate link 2) Important: The creator is a paid influencer and not affiliated with Moomoo Financial Inc. ("MFI") or its affiliates. Content outside of the moomoo ad has not been reviewed by MFI and reflects the influencer's own views. MFI does not endorse any strategies mentioned and is not responsible for the influencer's services. Click this link https://j.moomoo.com/Caleb to get up to 15 free stocks from moomoo U.S when you make a qualified deposit + earn 4.6% on uninvested cash + an additional 3.5% APY Coupon for 3 months for new users!! Terms & Conditions Apply 3) Get $20 from Acorns for free: sign up to get your bonus https://acorns.com/caleb 4) CourseCareers: Land a high-paying job with no experience or degree by going through an affordable online course: https://coursecareers.com/a/calebhammer 5) The credit building debit card: First 100,000 people to sign up for Fizz with code: HAMMER10 get $10: https://www.joinfizz.com/caleb (paid ad) 6) Advising: Book your free strategy session https://dmnmny.co/caleb to work with Adrianna or any of the other CFPs at Domain Money today! 7) Helium Mobile: save a ton on your phone bill, sign up and get 30 days of FREE trial when using promo code CALEB https://hellohelium.com/ 8) Online security: Protect your online privacy and security NOW and for free by following my link Aura: https://aura.com/hammer 9) Therapy: Make SonderMind your mental health home in 2025. Sign up at: https://pages.sondermind.com/caleb/ 10) Build you own stan store: https://www.stan.store/?ref=CalebHammer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Discussion (0)
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This sounds like you're fucking up your entire life.
You could be under a bridge with your daughter.
Well, that's not going to happen.
It could happen.
It won't.
Especially if we're asking deadie for money for rent.
Yeah.
Most men cheat.
I call them munchers or like leeches.
Is this going to be one of your interesting things where you don't have a statistic?
Okay.
There you go.
Yeah.
Download my new simpler budget app today and take control of your money once and for all.
Hi.
My name is Jenna.
I'm 24. I live at San Antonio, Texas, and this is financial audit.
Thanks for coming up from San Antonio. What do you do for a living down there?
Well, I actually work in Austin.
That's a fucking commute. For anyone that doesn't know, that's like an hour and a half minimum.
No, it's an hour, but with traffic is an hour and a half.
Okay. What do you do in apparently Austin for a living?
Amazon delivery driver.
Why aren't you doing that in San Antonio? I think they have Amazon in San Antonio.
Yeah, but it was making more.
It makes more here.
Yeah.
Does it pay more?
Yeah.
Specifically, more hours?
What is it?
More, well, I think it's more.
I mean, I'd never worked in San Antonio.
But the commute.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Well, I meant like Amazon.
I never worked at, uh, in San Antonio as a driver.
So you don't know.
That, well, it was $18 an hour whenever I looked.
And then here was 1975.
And then I recently.
Does that make up for the hour and a half?
Both ways, three hours a day?
I mean, I do spend like $20 an hour.
a day for gas.
But sometimes my roommate and I commute like we carpool.
Does she do the same job?
Yeah.
It's a bit weird.
Okay.
That's cool.
Sure.
Sure.
Sure.
Sure.
So you're making 19.
What an hour?
Well, it was 1975, but we got a raise.
So I make 21, 25.
Very good.
Okay.
21, 25.
How many hours a week are you working?
40 hours.
Well, yeah, 40 hours.
It's four days, so it's 10 hours.
And then I have three days off.
Okay.
Go, 40,
hours.
Yeah.
All right.
How we feel and living?
San Antonio is cheaper for what it's worth.
Oh, yeah, for sure.
So that helps, but I mean, you're, that can use.
It really is.
Oh, yeah.
It's, I feel like I'm taking a trip.
I'm like time to, a road trip, you know?
Yeah, daily.
But I hope that doesn't mean we're stopping, spending a lot of money.
But we'll see.
Okay.
How, how you feel and living on that?
Uh, compared to what I was working, which it was McDonald's.
When?
Uh, a year ago.
Really?
This job for a whole year and a month or so.
So like last year, I worked at McDonald's and I was getting 1425.
So it was a good four or five dollars.
Yeah, good jump.
Okay.
Yeah, I'm sure that was harder to live off of.
But how are we living now, though?
I want to know how.
I feel like I'm getting above water less like I don't have to ask my parents as much as I used to.
Well, hold on.
What are we 24?
How much were you asking your parents a year ago for what?
Uh, to help pay bills, I would ask.
In like what way? Go like, tell me.
Okay. So, um, sometimes I was short on bill. Like, I mean, I, I would be spending money on things.
And then I would eventually need help for rent or, um, like any bill, basically.
How often?
Almost every month.
Really. And now you're saying. I hated asking them. Like, how many hours a week did you work at the, at the McDee's?
How many hours?
Yeah.
Okay. And you just weren't stretching? How expensive was your rent?
Well, at that time, I was mainly living alone. So it was a full.
Mainly. What's mainly?
Mainly was so 20. Let's see what years is this.
2020 is whenever I got a roommate, which is my roommate now.
Okay. But before that, it was just me. So it was.
How much were you paying?
Did you still take, did you still get money from them once you had your roommate?
Occasionally, yes.
Well, you're occasionally now you're saying because you're saying less than before, meaning you're still occasionally.
Yeah.
I actually, okay, so last year I asked them like every month.
But this year, or not last year, sorry.
2023.
2024.
I only asked them like once because I got injured.
What?
What happened?
I was, I was, I'm actually also a trainer at Amazon.
So I was training someone.
Is this a separate job or is this included in the 40?
Separate?
How many hours a week are you working that?
Wait, what?
No, no, no, I'm asking, is that included in the 40 hours you gave me for the 21, 25?
Yeah, that's like, this is part of my job.
That's a part of your job.
Okay, so this isn't something separate.
What?
This is not a separate income, correct?
No, it's not.
Okay.
It's my Amazon delivery job.
I know, because it sounds like two jobs.
So I thought maybe there was.
No, I'm a trainer to help someone, like I go on their route to help them.
Yes, yes, yes.
Okay.
Yeah, so I was training them, learning, like teaching them how to do stuff and I pulled my back and I twisted it and I was.
How long were you out? Did you get?
I got, I got some work comp.
Yeah.
It was like $300 and I was out for like a month.
How did you survive?
Do you have dependents or anything?
Dependence?
Yeah.
Anyone that relies on you?
I mean, you rely on your parents, so I guess not.
Oh, you do have a kid.
Yes.
Oh, so there are dependents.
How many kids?
One.
She's six.
A six?
Well, you had.
kiddie young yeah
first time had
but roommates and I'm not
hearing dude so where's dude
that dropped the load
where what
where's man
oh we haven't been together
since 2019
and so was that then
like am I doing that math correct
essentially
kind of
well 2018
so
2018 is whenever I got
pregnant it was actually the first time
I had six
no
yeah
first
Time you have sex and it resulted in little baby.
Mm-hmm.
I'm very fertile.
That means you must be, one, terrified to have sex again.
And two.
Yeah, yeah, no.
It was...
Two, why...
Fuck, what were you guys not wearing protection or why were you not doing any protection or
why didn't we do a little, you know, pill the next day?
Yeah.
There was a lot of, like, why's, like, why's after your first time, wouldn't you think, like...
I was very naive.
I was like, oh, I'll know whenever I missed my period.
And then you knew and then had a kid.
What did you think was going to happen or anything?
Well, I knew.
So you didn't care if you were going to get pregnant or not.
Well, there was, yeah, I guess.
Really?
I didn't make any, like, precautions of it.
No, but you didn't care.
I get, yeah.
Okay, what's up a dude?
He's a child.
Not like that.
Not like that.
He is, he acts like a child.
He's 23 now, I think, and he still lives with the dead.
I call it silver spooning.
Twitter will get very upset 17 and 18.
Yeah.
I mean, it was, we're a year and a half apart, so it wasn't that.
I was called a cougar, but I'm like, we're only a year and a half.
Like, what?
No, no.
It's, I don't get a fuck.
But, yeah, so.
But, okay, you say he's a child, but is, or do you have full custody?
Like, what is the situation here?
Yeah, I have 80%.
He has 20%.
Okay.
Is he in San Antonio then?
Yeah.
Okay.
So he actually does the 20%?
Yes.
Okay, cool.
Babysitter.
Emotionally.
Huh?
I don't know there.
Well, what?
I call him a babysitter, but, because he's not emotionally there, you know.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Do you receive anything?
Yeah.
Childsport.
Because it's not 50-50.
Okay.
What do you get him from the dude?
Because we got to include the new income.
Yeah.
So, figure out your income.
And the paper, it's like 400.
What does he do for a living?
Um.
That's a good question because...
I love a good answer.
Well, so he works at Circle K, I think, but he's been also injured.
So he's been out for months and hasn't...
To have disability?
Yeah, he's getting disability, so I'm getting that check.
But it's not like a...
Like, so for child support, I would...
I used to get it every single week, like $126.
Weekly?
Weekly.
Okay.
But since you got injured, now I just get one load randomly in the month.
He already did one of those.
We don't need more.
Trust me.
It resulted in something.
He got me there.
Okay.
How much comes on a monthly basis?
With the one load, it's 550.
But on the court papers, it says like 430.
So I'm not entirely sure more.
Why are you getting more?
Why are you getting more?
I don't know.
Does he know he's given more than required?
I think he knows that he's ahead.
He's head of paying child support.
Oh, okay.
So he's counting it like that?
Yeah.
So he's trying to like pay.
pay off a debt almost.
Basically.
So $5.50 a month.
Okay.
And then what hits your account
on a monthly basis
from your job?
Um, a month.
Let's see.
Let's see.
I usually get 12.
I like to say 1,200 by weekly.
You like to say 1200, but what, what hits?
I don't care what you like to say.
1100.
I don't know.
Why would you like to say 1,200?
Okay.
Okay.
No, actually I say 1200, but actually it happens is 1300.
Sorry.
Why would you just?
Why not just the right number?
Why not the right number?
How do we budget off a wrong number?
that doesn't make any sense.
What do you mean?
I'm a little bit lower.
You know?
Why?
That doesn't make any sense.
Just so like if I do come up with like if I do even know what hits your account.
Yeah.
Just not off top of my head.
And download our app.
Download our simpler budget app for sake.
Please.
Okay.
You get it for free forever, the premium version.
But download that.
Yeah.
Well,
you're a guest on the show.
So you get everything.
We want to hook you up.
But download that and you'll actually see.
You'll see.
You'll see what money actually goes in and what.
money goes out because it's automated.
I would say $2,400 for the payroll.
I third, uh, well, that's, is that true?
3814?
3814.
What, where'd you get that number?
I don't know.
That's what I have, uh, payroll on the spreadsheet.
Looks like it was an extra paycheck month though.
Oh, yeah.
Potentially the month that we're looking at.
Yeah, the month.
Okay, so I think I gave you the December.
So that was with peak season.
And we were working more hours.
Yeah.
We're working 60 hours.
We were working 10 hours, six days.
Yeah.
So it's like almost $30.
But you're saying it's $1,300 every two weeks.
Yes.
I just like, I want to be able to budget this.
If you can't give me a number.
I'm sorry.
Yes.
I, I, okay, I'll just say $1,200.
$1,200.
No, I want to know the $1,000.
$1,200.
Is that, is that not?
$200 is kind of big in this income situation.
What do you mean?
It's not a million.
dollars a month where 200 wouldn't matter as much when we're talking and below 3,000,
a couple hundred bucks can make a big difference.
Especially if we're asking mommy and daddy for money for rent.
Yeah.
So what the fuck?
I don't like asking my parents for money.
That's why I'm here.
Did I suggest asking them from?
What?
I didn't ask.
What are you talking about?
No, I'm saying $200 would be important.
If you have to ask your parents for money, you should probably know if you're making
$1,300 a paycheck or $1,200.
I'm gonna say 1200.
You're gonna say, but unfortunately, you're not a
reliable narrator, so like whether or not I can
actually count that towards anything, and then $5.50 from
the X.
Oh, yes, yes.
Did you guys ever date?
Did you guys ever try?
Yes, I did.
It was passed overdue.
It was like a year and a half.
I was two.
What was?
The relationship?
Is that what you're saying?
Yeah, I really tried, but he was just cheating left and right.
Oh, fuck, my sake.
Yeah.
And he was he popping out of other babies?
I don't know.
Dude doesn't want to pull out.
But you know what?
Actually, I have a story about like once I, he was like acting sketchy and he was like,
oh, my friend just thinks that she's pregnant.
I'm like, well, I was just pregnant.
So I can give her advice, right?
Turns out it was, it was, it might be his, his baby.
Oh, she ended up not being pregnant.
And she was also in a lesbian relationship.
So.
What the fuck are you talking about, dude?
Yeah.
Yeah, it was...
No, what do you...
About my relationship with my baby daddy, he's not the best.
Yeah, she wouldn't get pregnant if she's only sleeping with women.
I'm...
Okay, you confuse me.
Okay.
So payroll, this was a bigger month.
This was an exciting month.
3,800 versus the usual post-baby money, $2,950 a month.
And then, yeah, you got that $5.50.
So, cool.
But of the 3,814 that came in, how much did you spend last month?
Like, bills or?
Spent.
How much was spent?
Data accumulating whatever it is.
How much was spent?
I don't know.
Come on.
What do you think you spent?
3,000.
Actually.
Yes.
Or are you acting like that?
I don't know how much I spent last month.
No, no.
The reason we're doing this is because I want to see where you self-assess where you think you are.
So think of last month.
Think of your spending.
Think of the actions you're doing.
What do you think you spent?
Again, 3,814 came in.
Yes.
Well, last month it was also my daughter's birthday, Christmas.
It was just like...
Okay, sure.
If you need to think out loud, okay, go for it.
I'm thinking out loud.
Thank you.
No, true, sorry.
Let me think.
I honestly don't know.
I'm going to just say three.
Give a number.
I said three.
I did.
What do you mean?
$3,000.
You spent $5,100.
$5,131.
$5,000.
Damn.
I didn't even think I made that much.
You didn't.
That's what I'm saying.
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No, no, you understand how much.
I said you made.
I didn't hear that part.
You said, well, you said the, I spent $5,000, right?
I told you twice how much came in.
Yeah.
What was the number?
That's not funny.
That's not funny.
Are you not listening?
Or are you not able to comprehend which won?
No, I just don't remember.
3,000.
814 was payroll.
5,131 went out.
I didn't even know I made that much
You didn't
I got the numbers confused
No you didn't
Because you didn't know the other number
No I didn't
Do I need a like
Physical
Construct this for you
With like fake money or something
Uh huh
Okay
You spent a thousand three hundred dollars more
I'm curious on where
Why don't you know
Well I do
know some.
I...
You didn't know how much you spent.
You didn't know how much came in.
So what do you know?
Go ahead.
What do you know?
Well, it was
with my roommate's birthday.
We went axe throwing
and we also got nose piercings.
That accounts for $5,100?
No, that was like,
I was budgeting 400 on that.
What you spent.
Around that.
Do you know how much you spent?
No.
But I was,
I was mentally doing it.
So I was like,
but you can't tell me.
No,
I cannot.
But I did spend like around $200 on the piercings because I got hers and mine done.
And then like $50 on the ass throwing.
You asked your parents for money to pay for rent and you're getting someone else's
piercings and spending $1,100 more than you made in a really good earning month?
The time that I asked for help was.
Okay.
What the fuck is going on here?
because unfortunately actually I don't think you'll be able to tell me but just go on go on I want to jump into these numbers but tell me tell me the the you the
Jenna of it all what is going on Jenny what's happening um so August is whenever I got injured so that's whenever I asked yeah that's whenever I asked for help and then I got let's ask for help you mean for parents okay from my parents I think it was like two you do you do drugs no it's like a hole
right here.
Oh, I used to do plasma.
Okay.
Yeah, no, I feel like this would...
Continue, making sure.
August is...
You seem to annoyed.
I am annoyed.
Shut the...
Just fucking tell...
Say.
August, I got injured.
Ask for help.
And then I caught up in December
because of the...
How many...
Okay.
Interesting definition of caught up.
Go ahead.
Yes, caught up.
I pay my bills.
Do you?
On time.
Debatable?
Let's find...
Okay, keep going.
I don't want to say anything in there.
You're going to call me out.
But that's how the show works.
Yeah.
So I caught it up in Christmas because I worked like 60 hours, six days.
That is.
That's your story.
Yes.
That's your what's going on here?
Yeah.
I got her in August, asked for money, got caught up in December.
And that's it?
Yep.
Oh, I am not surprised that it took you about 10 emails to send us one document.
Okay, everything is making so much more sense now. Oh, okay. Yeah. I was having trouble sending the emails with the, oh, we saw. I was like, here's my freaking credit report. And it was never there. It was never there.
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You're catching up is spending a thousand,
$100 more than you make on a fucking monthly basis
on a high earning month.
That's catching up.
We're caught up.
Mom of six?
Of six.
You're old?
Oh.
You're right.
Yes.
Yes.
I mean, I also have a kid.
We're not fucking around anymore.
It's not a joke anymore.
Because now you're impacting more lives than just your own.
Just more than your own.
Yeah.
Like.
But the.
birthday present, like last year, she, she surprised me with, um, who's she?
My roommate.
Okay, you're just saying she like, I know who she is?
My roommate.
Uh, she surprised me with, um, a birthday party last year.
So I wanted to do something nice for her.
Cool.
You don't have the fucking money.
And then all of a sudden, you're not going to be able to pay your rent that.
It's on her.
Happy birthday roommate.
Yeah.
Are you trying to be cute?
No.
What the fuck was that?
I don't know.
Are you taking this seriously?
What are you doing?
Is this serious?
Yes.
Okay, because I'm not going to continue for not.
You understand?
Yes.
Like, I know you're a little special, but...
Special!
Yes, but I want to make sure you're taking it seriously in the end.
Special.
You couldn't send an email.
I know what I'm working with here.
Couldn't figure out what a PDF was.
So, like, that's...
You don't even know behind the scenes.
I was struggling.
I was multitasking.
I was at work also trying to do that.
I had four cards that day.
But you're going to complete that task.
So the multitasking wasn't.
What are you talking about?
Self-assess.
Where do you think you are in the world of finances?
Zero to 10.
Zero being the absolute worst finances,
10 being the absolute best finances.
Where do you think you are?
Two.
That's a relatively reasonable answer.
I'm glad you think you're on.
Huh?
Huh?
I said nice.
Okay.
If you guys want to figure out where you are,
where your score is, go to go to the link below, figure out where you are in the world of finances.
And if you want to come on the show and you know how to download PDFs and send emails and answer
questions coherently, please feel free to go to Calebhammer.com slash apply.
We'd be happy to have you down here in Austin, Texas.
It's a good time.
Are you having a good time?
Yes, I'm having a...
Got to meet some of the crew.
You went through all the onboarding.
He's a lot nicer than you.
Yes.
Well, everyone is, but, you know.
And Brandon is illiterate because he read my shirt.
wrong. Just kidding.
Are you literate?
Yes, I am. No, I have to read things multiple times to understand it.
Okay.
Capital One.
Yes.
What's going on here?
Yeah, that I feel like I make the minimum payment.
Or sometimes I put a little bit more and then I end up spending it.
So what's going on here?
the
what's this card
what's the history of this card
what are you doing with it what's the plan
with it
what is anything about this card
other than I make the minimum monthly payment
honestly don't remember
getting that card I just
it just it was just there
it got okay why the fuck is it maxed out
how about that can we do anything
a few years ago it
so it was originally like $300
and then once it like
it went up to $1,500 I was like
the limit
The limit, okay.
Yeah.
And then I had to use it for, like, car bills or something.
But that was like two or three years ago.
Okay.
Well, that certainly doesn't equal maxed out today.
So what the f-com?
Come on, answer my question.
Yes.
Well, I did.
I maxed it out.
And then I make the payments.
And then I haven't made the payments.
Like, I just fluctuate on making the payments.
You fluctuate on making the payments?
Well, because I, like, you know, like, you know, like.
Why would you be missing payments?
Because sometimes you got to pick and choose on what payments you got to do.
Why?
What do you mean why?
No, in which way for yourself?
Like, what do you choose in between?
Is this going to, am I going to starve today or do I want to pay my credit card?
You know?
Starved today, $659 going out to eat on a monthly basis.
Are we starving today?
Pick and choose?
Do I want to pay my rent or pay that?
Pay what this?
Yes.
What about the don't go out to eat?
I mean, I do meal prep.
I just still go out.
$659 in your.
Meal prepping.
Yes, I, well.
I don't think you know what, okay, what's this meal prepping you got going on?
Because that's a lot of money to go out to eat.
Yeah, I mean, well, I still go out to eat.
Okay, that's like going out to eat for, like, a month.
If you're doing cheap going out to eat relatively, unless you're getting a few massive, like expensive going out to eats.
Like, how much you make actually meal prepping?
And also, no, no, again.
Healthy food is expensive.
Huh?
Healthy food is expensive.
So you're going out to eat healthy?
Yes.
So just make that at home because it's not like that's any.
That's still expensive.
I didn't call out your grocery spending, which, by the way, was 0.9%.
So that had to be an insignificant.
What meal prepping, how much groceries started we have in here?
Like nothing.
HB, $15, food mart, $30.
The fuck are you talking about meal prepping?
HB is probably sushi.
I don't really go to HB.
It's mainly.
Where do you meal prep?
I meal prep my stuff that I cook, which is like.
Where do you get it from, lady?
Walmart.
I just said.
Did you?
Yes.
Yes.
I said I, like, HB is mainly like.
That's usually in the unknown shopping.
Walmart is $1,500.
So what the f*** are you talking about?
That can't be fucking lettuce.
No.
I mean, well,
it's the chicken.
Like,
I do a whole-
$1,500.
So $1,500 for meal prepping,
$500 for a meal preping?
What do you mean?
Is that $1,500 for Walmart,
like entirety?
Because I don't just spend food on Walmart.
So what percentage of that is food then?
Because $1,500 is insane.
Probably like 50%.
Okay, great.
Then the other 50% what the f is that?
Because that's...
Essentials?
You do not need that much in terms of essentials.
I have two cats and the dog and then I also have my child.
Why do you have two cats and dog if you can't pay for rent?
Like, I like emotional.
I mean, I do have emotional support dog.
That's one of them.
Yeah, but you can't support for them adequately if you can't pay for rent.
I won't.
It's not fair to them.
It's selfish of you.
I don't think about, I don't think selfish.
If you can't pay for rent, you can't adequately.
I am paying for rent.
You've had to borrow money for rent.
And if you are struggling...
A few months ago.
No, the point is if you, exactly.
In one year out of the last year, I had asked like almost every month.
So I think...
Exactly.
I think I'm making progress.
Progress, sure.
All I am saying is if you're in that position, that means if something emergency would
happen for dogs, then you certainly couldn't pay for your dog or cats emergencies.
Yeah, I would like to have like emergency funds and stuff, like different categories.
I just don't know how to do.
Don't know how to.
No, because you spend more than you make.
That's not not knowing how to.
You don't have any money.
Because you don't budget.
Because you've never budgeted a single second in your life.
That has nothing to do with that.
I don't know how to.
You spend $1,500 a month on Walmart,
meaning $750 itself is on meal prep.
That's fucking insane.
With the additional $659 eating out.
That means food itself is like $1,600.
1659.
1659 on food.
I get meal prep you alone with the cookbook,
which again,
you get that with the budgeting app, right?
Yes,
use the cookbook for the meal prepping.
Absolutely.
People have asked for it forever.
We did it.
Whatever.
Major channel announcement.
Budgeting, budgeting, budgeting.
It's a new year.
We're all trying to budget.
We're all trying to make it a little better.
We're trying to improve our life.
A lot of people on the show,
a lot of people out there that I've heard from,
they try to start a budget.
They can't stick to the budget.
It's because it's all,
Too damn complicated right now.
You use any of the budgeting apps out there.
It's crazy.
It's hard to know what's even going on.
It's impossible to set up and it's a chaos to manage.
That's why over this last year, I did the thing.
I made a budgeting app for you guys.
This does not need to be complicated.
You're trying to take control of your life.
So it should be simple.
It should be chill.
It should be easy to set up and easy to manage.
I've called it simpler budget because that's all it is.
It's your simpler budget.
But we up the an annie with continued education and an ad-free version.
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a link in the description below this budgeting app will change your life cool cool cool you could do that for
three hundred dollars then we could probably include the little kid 200 bucks as well you know your meal
prepping both of your guys meals together but you're saying you're talking about if 750 dollars a month
spent on walmart and then you're 659 like that doesn't make any sense in the main point no no
And the main point, the reason we have gotten here is because you said,
sometimes I don't pay this because I have to choose between rent and that.
Yeah.
That's not true.
You spent $659 going out to eat.
So don't fucking bullshit.
It's not true that you have to choose between those.
You choose going out to eat instead of paying rent.
You choose going out to eat instead of a minimum monthly payment on the Capital One.
So don't fucking bullshit with me.
You chose $750 on grocery stuff you probably didn't even eat and $750 on essentials.
instead of this.
And I bet if I looked at those Walmart receipts,
there would be a lot of things that were not essentials.
Guaranteed.
Well, also, my roommate and I, like, we do the meal prepping.
Like, so two days I cook, two days she cooks.
So I don't know if that's...
Well, how does that calculate into the price here?
How does that calculate into the price here?
Because, well, I'm trying to figure out if me meal prepping for myself and her
is going to cost more, because, I mean, two days...
Hold on.
But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, well,
If she meal prepping for you, she would be offsetting the cost of you meal prepping for her.
Yeah, right?
So it's even now, right?
Yes.
Meaning this number is fucking insane.
Meaning that did not just justify this number.
It's not just mill propping that we do.
It's also rent and car insurance that we split or and also water and electricity.
So what?
So I pay the car insurance.
She pays the finance or sorry, the rent.
Why don't you pay for your roommate's car insurance?
Well, she's on my car insurance.
And then I pay for it and then I subtract it from rent
So rents like $700.
This is a roommate.
This is a roommate, not a spouse unless are you guys spousing?
Technically, I guess on our lease because they put us a spouse.
But are you guys actually?
No, we're not.
We're just roommates.
Really close.
Why the fuck would you have your friends and roommates?
Or single mom's helping each other out.
Oh, she's a mom too?
Yes.
That house must be interesting.
Yeah.
Yeah, well, her daughter's 10, mine's 6.
Actually, they're both names.
So.
That's not, okay.
Oh, you have a way of getting me completely lost because you are completely lost.
What?
So you just drag me down with you.
Okay, so car insurance.
Yeah, why would you have the car insurance, your roommate's car insurance?
Because I was trying to help her out.
But you need to help yourself out.
You're spending more than you make.
You don't have any savings to save your life.
You're going to fucking, you could be under a bridge with your daughter on this trajectory.
Well, that's not going to happen.
It could happen.
It won't.
Why?
Because.
I have friends that would let me.
Sure, hundreds of thousands go homeless every single year.
So I also have my siblings here.
Yep.
And many of them have them too.
You never know what's going to happen.
One, they might think they're there enabling you so they're no longer going to allow that.
Two, you never know, accidents can happen.
Three big fights.
I don't think I'll just, I've never been in that situation, I guess.
I mean, I've thought about like, oh, what would I do if I was homeless?
You know, not having been in a situation doesn't mean you're not going to be in the situation.
Just because I never had cancer doesn't mean I'm not ever going to.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, but I apply myself to finding new ways.
And I sure hope you do.
What happens to all the other people that go homeless?
You're just saying they didn't apply themselves?
Some, I mean, why do you say?
Some, sure, but every single person?
Not every single person.
There's mental illness.
Some didn't apply themselves.
But there are some where there's almost no other option in that situation.
Yeah, but then they get themselves out.
Most of them, a lot of them.
Really?
That's a statistical truth.
Yes.
I actually dated someone that was used to be homeless.
Or so anecdotal truth.
What?
You have statistics around this that majority of those people get out of homelessness.
Yes.
What's the statistics around that?
Well, I don't know the statistics, but I...
You're telling me the majority.
I didn't say majority.
I was just saying that I know someone.
No, you said the majority and then you brought up the person you know.
That's literally what you said.
Okay. Well, I didn't mean to say majority because...
Okay.
Because that's a big difference.
So again, what would happen?
You already know someone that went through that situation.
I want to say you couldn't.
Your daughter's life is too important.
So why put yourself in a risky position where you're taking care of someone else before you're taking care of you in your own?
Because you can take care of other people.
But that's once you're in a position where you can take care of other people.
You don't take care of other people until you can take care of your own.
I'm learning that.
I'm just a people pleaser.
What?
Was she asking you?
Was she begging?
No, she wasn't.
Then what pleasing are you trying to do?
Like, okay.
So not last year, but she didn't ask.
What?
She didn't ask.
What do you mean?
ask. You said she didn't ask.
Ask for being put on the car insurance?
Yeah.
No, I, I, I, I, I, are you participating in this conversation?
How much of your brain is participating in this conversation?
I'm just baffled.
At what?
I don't know.
I'm just, I don't know either.
I'm trying to figure that out for you.
Well, what we were talking about.
We were talking about my, my roommate and I sharing car insurance.
And how you're putting them over you and your daughter, yes.
Not really, but.
Mathematically.
financially obligation-wise, yes, because you could not pay you that.
You could all of a sudden become short on that or she's also short.
Something happens to her income and you're still liable for it.
So yes.
Yes.
And I, I mean, I don't like that.
I mean, I don't know how to.
Yeah, you do it.
I don't know how to have the conversation with like, like, because we've had our, I guess,
finances combined since we were.
We can call her.
We can call her in the post show.
Oh, okay.
I mean, I suggested her coming on this show because then you.
Well, we don't have people that are.
couple so that wouldn't have made sense. What?
Oh, you mean separately? Yes. Okay.
Well, we'd be happy to look at our application.
But maybe we should call in the post show. We'll keep her anonymous.
But I can help navigate that hard
conversation. Yeah.
Because it is. It's crazy. And then what bill
does she take care of again? So she pays rent
and electricity. So $1,439.55 on this
on a $1,500 limit. So our credit card's
completely maxed out. Interest is accruing. Everything's
$1,100 more than we're making
on a high earning month. Yet we are taking care
of someone else's bill. And if they don't take care of
but we're so liable for it.
And then all of a sudden, uh-oh, whoopsie, I have a daughter that didn't consent to
come into this world.
That is my responsibility.
So, wonderful.
Do you want me to finish explaining the half bills that we do?
Okay, so car insurance, rent.
It's $700 for rent, but I subtract that $288 from my car insurance because I pay that.
From your rent?
Yes, so she pays the rent part.
No, no, no, that makes sense.
What do you mean?
Oh, she paid that.
the rent. Yeah, she pays the rent. And then since I'm paying the, the car insurance, I subtract the car insurance from my rent.
This is so weird. Why are you guys doing this? And then we do that. Why are you overcomplicating this? Why are you overcomplicating this? And you put yourself in such a fucking position.
Your roommates, but what are we both supposed to be on the insurance or not insurance. Both supposed to be on the water and the electricity. She's on the electricity. I'm on on the water.
Not necessarily. You don't have to both.
be on the...
I know, that's what I'm saying.
Like, that's why she's on electricity.
I'm on water.
And then whatever water bill,
so that's like $35 if you split it.
And then...
I'm just curious why you guys are over-complicating this.
Why don't just take care of your damn bills
and vend with each other if you're splitting bills down the middle?
Why are you subtracting my bill that I took from this from her bill that she did with
that and this and this?
What happens if she gets her injured can't take care of her bills?
Again, you are just putting so much risk in this situation.
That doesn't make sense.
for someone that has a child singly.
Well, she also has a child too.
Yes, that doesn't mean she can't get hurt or something bad happened to her.
You don't know what happens.
An economic downturn layoffs, you don't know.
Well, we just help each other out.
Until you can't.
You don't seem to understand that sometimes things don't always work out for the best.
That's not how the world works.
I mean, we're both not.
We don't really have family here.
So that's why we're basically.
You can help each other out, but I'm good.
I'm more so with the Venmoing instead of having,
your name on her insurance and all of this weird stuff.
You're overcomplicating it.
Venmo each other back and forth for things that you guys are splitting.
Take care of your own insurances.
Yeah, it's just less venmoing.
Yeah, but more risk.
Because your name's on it.
You're liable.
You can't possibly be confused about that.
No, I'm not.
I'm just, I guess I just trust her.
I trust her.
No, honestly, I probably trust her too.
Sure.
you do not know how the economy is going to go.
You do not know what life events are going to happen.
You don't know if she's going to get hit when she goes outside next time by a car.
Things happen all the time.
Is there a less than likelihood chance?
Absolutely.
But you are allowing that to dictate you.
Do you have an, what's in your savings?
Nothing.
What's in her savings?
Nothing.
Okay.
So there's, this is, this is, and you guys work the same job.
So if an economic downturn does happen, maybe you both laid off at the same time.
You don't know.
You don't know.
I think the things that
If an economic downturn does happen
And we haven't had a recession
And you know like two decades
Like a true recession
Now technically I guess we actually did
But in terms of something like the great recession
Or the dot com bubble pass a lot
Dotcom oh my gosh
That
Stuff you know
It's like a once every 20 year type thing
We're kind of on track
For looking for a major recession
Kind of
If it continues that cycle
Typically what happens when people
when people have a little less money,
they order less to the bullshit
and less Amazon packages,
meaning less delivery drivers.
You both work that job.
I'm not saying that's going to happen.
I'm not saying I'm not saying I'm not saying I'm not saying
you're just allowing for no risk of something happening.
You have zero dollars in an emergency fund
and you guys can't take care of each other that way.
I mean, I would love to.
No, you wouldn't.
That's why I'm here.
No, you, that's why I'm here.
You guys are copy and pasting each other.
Every episode, that's why I'm here.
Come on.
$659 going out to eat.
No, you're not trying.
That's not what you want.
That's what you want it.
That would be going to savings or paying off debt.
It's not what you want.
You want to go out to eat $659.
You want to spend $750 on groceries.
You want to spend $700 on fast food?
Going out to eat.
$6.59.
And then how much on food?
You said half of Walmart was groceries.
So $750.
Okay.
So I'm spending, oh, wow.
it's a
eye opener
by the way
that's actually her personality
I know someone's
gonna ask in the comment
like oh she's being like weird
we've had many
conversations in preparation
for this episode
some people are just
unique individuals
because someone's gonna ask
like why don't you have someone
who's like
wants who's being serious
on the show
I know you actually
do care about this
from everything we've done
you're just a silly
well you're you're
yeah you're interesting
you're interesting
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So $52 on a monthly basis is your minimum monthly.
Why did you purchase $312 on our credit card that is growing $37.80 on a monthly basis interest that you cannot pay off?
Why the possible would you spend money on this?
Well, that was like, I think that was my first and only credit card.
So that means you should spend money on it when it's getting pushed and max out.
You can't pay it off and it has the green interest.
What kind of answers that?
It's only one credit card.
I feel like that's pretty good compared to a lot of other people.
You do not seem to understand the question I'm asking.
I'm asking, why the f*** are you purchasing on it?
I.
Behavioral.
Not like, like, probably, but why do you think?
Like I talk to myself, but then I end up doing it.
But why does it have to be on this versus your debit card?
Because my debit card probably doesn't have money at that time.
So you can afford it then if you have to put it on debt.
This is what, this is exactly why we have the FISCard for people like you.
This is why they use that.
It's in the resources just like everything else.
Debit card that builds credit because I know you care about the credit part.
That's why you're using this.
That's what everyone says.
You want to build the credit.
You want to build the credit, good luck with a max out credit card.
Do you want the rewards?
Good luck.
Like with all the interest accruing.
So at least this, it won't allow you to spend money if you don't have it in your checking
account.
It's a debit card.
And you cannot have access to credit.
Look, the way you just define this is I did not have money in my checking account.
So I use the credit card.
If that is the case, you cannot have a credit card because you are misusing it.
That's why I only have one.
Think, but you max out the one.
But I'll.
The one.
I mean, I also use Possible sometimes or Dave.
Okay, I've never heard of possible, but I know what Dave is.
You have the little pay advance.
Yeah.
Ford.
Come on, dude, you have a fucking kid.
What are we doing here?
To be able to pay bills.
Huh?
To be able to pay.
No.
No.
You spent $6.59.
Eid and out.
Fuck you to pay bills.
That's not true.
We know where your actions went.
You could pay bills.
But I am paying bills.
You just said you had to pay advance to pay the bills.
bills and you're maxing out a credit card because oh yeah but my bills are paid only because
you're paying it fancy only because you're putting money on a credit card because you don't have
any money in the checking account they're not paid with your money they're paid with someone else's
money who's money if it's are you fucking kidding me you're borrowing from dave are you fucking
kidding me well yeah you are putting money on a credit card because you don't have any money in
your checking account how is this not making sense to you on the credit card i pay i pay the 56 minimum
and then i you know so it's it's money and then you spend 316
or whatever it was.
312.
Because you didn't have money
in checking account.
I mean, how are you not?
Dude, okay.
Oh, fucking, how can I break this down?
How can I break this down for you?
I need you to get this.
If you don't get this,
there's no conversation to be had,
so I need you to understand this before we move on.
I've never had to break down something so simple
that I can't figure out how to do it.
Can you explain to me what I'm saying?
You were saying, okay.
So you're saying that I'm not paying my bills because the credit I have is like it's debt and debt is not paying my bills.
I mean, it's not the best explanation.
Try it again.
What am I saying?
What am I saying?
On bills with my credit card is not paying bills because it's debt.
And debt.
What about Dave?
And Dave.
Not just Dave.
you're in the right direction
okay in the right direction
I'm more saying
you're only able to pay your bills
because of the money that you were going to spend on your debit card
you're putting out on a credit card
because you don't have enough money you're checking account
and then in order to pay your bills
you have to take it from Dave
yeah and then makes sense so you're not paying your bills
not with your own money
you're borrowing money you're paying your bills
with other people's money I mean whenever I worked at
McDonald's it was probably worse
because I did the pay like every
that doesn't mean we should still be bad
because it was worse previously
what is up with that shirt
What, like, what is it?
Well, I just don't have really good...
Because you're ex?
Yeah, I hurt me.
What it's crossing out men?
Boys.
Because I just have not had the best experience with my relationships.
Date better people.
Most men cheat.
Yeah.
Is this going to be one of your interesting things where you don't have a statistic?
Okay.
There you go.
Yeah.
Not all men.
Not all.
Because you had a one life experience.
Just like the...
Multiple.
I had four boyfriends.
Poor cheated?
Yes, all of them cheated.
Oh, my good fuck.
I'm sorry, that sucks.
That sucks. That's horrible.
I mean, fuck them.
Yeah.
I mean, that's not on you.
Like, they're, don't get me wrong.
I don't want that to turn you off from the existence of operating society again.
Yeah, no, it did take a toll for, for a minute from being cheated on.
Yeah, I could imagine.
I could, dude, dude, if I was cheated on, I couldn't.
Yeah, I don't understand why people cheat.
I'm like, just break up with someone.
It doesn't, it doesn't correlate with me either.
I really don't get it.
Okay, so this credit card.
Let's see where we're...
I'm like unhealthy loyal.
Well, it is showing that you're dating bad people.
I just don't know the people you've dated and I also...
I call them munchers or like leeches because...
Yeah, but I just want to...
Maybe we're finding different personalities next time.
Yeah, it seems like I have a whole kind of personality that attracts me.
And maybe we're not choosing those.
I like nerds.
Are they all nerdy?
No.
They're more...
They're more extroverted.
I'm more introverted.
How long does this take to pay off?
just doing the minimum monthly payment without, without you spending any money on it,
which is impossible for you.
But let's say you did it and you pay the minimum fee payment.
Good job.
How long does it take the payoff?
That's a good question.
Come on.
You know I'm looking for an answer that you think.
You're guessing.
Yes, I am guessing.
I'm going to say a year, two years.
Two years, okay.
11 fucking years.
Yeah, go ahead.
Be in your 40s instead of changing any behavior.
Lynn International, door dashing, raising,
Kings, Chili's, DoorDashu, Chipotle, Amazon.
Huh?
Huh? Huh? What?
That sounds familiar.
This sounds like you're fucking up your entire life.
You're fucking up your entire life.
Even if it's a spoiled daughter, which I love the heart.
I love the heart of that.
And I want you to do that as much as you want.
You cannot do it if it's putting her in a more dangerous position.
And if you do not have an emergency fund, you are putting her in a dangerous position.
I grew up in dangerous position.
positions. Dangerous positions of foreclosure notices. Do you want your kid to have to go through
that eviction notices? But she's not going to. That's not how this works. I don't know how to get that
through to you. I had another guest on the show that had that same mindset. That's not how this works.
That's not how the world works. Well, how would I put my, like,
because you don't have it an emergency fund. If you get laid off, it might happen.
How is this difficult for you? Come on. Dude, you think the to the potential low millions that that
happens to in the United States.
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Curly basis that get a notice, you think that it just like it wasn't going to happen to
them?
Like, I'm so confused.
Or like, it wasn't.
I don't even know.
I guess I just can't imagine myself in that position.
You're literally using a, girl, you're using a pay advance service.
You don't think you're on the edge of that position.
You're more on the edge of that position than anyone.
You're using a pay advance service.
F*** you.
What?
I just, I need this.
I don't, I need to get through to you here, dude.
I don't know how.
Well, I thought we were on the same page.
I said I agreed on the, on the,
yeah, but you somehow don't think an eviction notice is possible.
Oh, I think it's possible.
I'm just saying, I don't.
You said it won't happen to me.
Yeah.
Oh my gosh.
I don't.
What are we laughing about?
I don't understand why you don't understand.
Can you explain why I won't happen to you?
Because, well, I mean, yeah, I could get an eviction,
but I'm saying,
like homeless list. I can't imagine myself. Can't imagine it because you can't imagine it's not
possible. If you don't see something that's not true, if you don't see the curvature or the earth
I do. I do have a backup plan now if I'm homeless. Like I know what I would do. What's your backup plan?
I would every day I would walk around look for change. This is an actual thing. I think of
you know, all the scenarios. Yeah. So think of the scenario where homelessness is a possibility.
So maybe we have an emergency fund in order to do that. We cut back on the things like donuts. You have a kid that is
living in a risky scenario because of your selfish actions.
It is not cute.
It's not funny.
It's not an attractive quality trait.
It's disgusting, honestly.
So shut up.
Don't smile at that.
It's disgusting.
You know, it's really interesting.
It's really interesting.
Just you're, the way you act at this, the way you act at any kind of pushback or any kind of question.
You have to act with some kind of like, fill or some kind of like, immature little
sounds.
I'm like, like you're, I feel like maybe because you had a kid so young.
or something.
You have not been able to mature beyond that moment in time.
You have not gone out in experience or something.
I don't know.
I feel like you are a permanent 13 year old or something.
Like,
I don't know what's happening.
And I'm not even,
I'm not trying to say that as an insult.
It's really not.
It's just an observation and something I want you to think about.
Something I want you to think about.
Do you go to therapy?
Yes.
How much?
Well, it was like once a week.
But I was going to the free one.
I just got insurance.
So hopefully I can get it.
Well, you're guests on the show.
So I can give you three free things.
therapy sessions with the people I use as Sondermind.
But I need you to go to therapy and work on this.
Just the way you're acting and the way you view the world.
It says, I can't have you treating this like a child or else your literal child is going to go through a shi life.
And that is not fair.
My dad always said that I was like two years behind behavioral wise.
Yeah, well, you're not acting like a 22 year old.
It's 24 year old.
Oh, sorry.
You're not.
Yeah.
Yeah, what do you think is the math?
Gosh, I just, I feel like a little.
can be in me, but I just like, I, I, maybe this isn't the right conversation to get through to you.
It is for a lot of people. The median guest pays off 10,000 and 10 months. I hope you're a part of that,
but you don't seem like the person that this is resonating with. I'm, I don't know. Okay,
what is W? What am I seeing here? What's W? Oh, that is my car, or car loan.
Wes. What car do you have? I have a Ford Echosport.
Was it new when you got it?
It was $40,000.
Okay.
So you got to use car.
I'm glad it's at least not late.
Oh my gosh, $406 a month?
That is a large sum of money for you.
That is a huge sum of money for you.
That's a huge sum of money regardless.
But for your income situation, that's a huge sum of money.
$14,642 left.
What is the interest rate on this?
I think $17.
No!
That's horrendous.
Do you even know that's horrendous?
I mean, I thought it was 12%, but whenever I looked at it.
So is it 16 or is 17 or 12?
What do you mean?
It's 17.9.
I just, for some reason, I thought I was 12.
Yeah, I just found out.
Oh, 18% interest rate on a car.
Yeah, wouldn't that be like 140 or?
Yeah, what do you think it's worth?
What do you think the car's worth?
8,000?
You nailed it.
It's worth 8,000.
Nice.
Well, not nice, but my guess, nice.
Yes, the 13-0.
It's because of me driving.
Well, you're not going to like this.
It's because of you driving.
No.
The whole time of me working at Amazon, my roommate was also needing to get her car fixed, so she was also using my car.
Roommate inbreeding, financially incest.
Yeah, well, okay, so she was basically using my car for a whole year.
But with therapy, I had that tough conversation and she finally got her car fixed.
So now she has her own car.
Good.
So we are able to have the tough conversations.
Yes, it's just very uncomfortable.
No, that's why it's a tough conversation.
And whenever it's uncomfortable, I start being extra goofy.
Yes, and hence.
And you're experiencing that.
Hence, this character trait that I don't like.
Okay.
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't be mean about that.
Maybe it's maybe I think I don't like it.
You're like the popcorn girl that thinks she's funny if we're going.
She's like, I don't even know what you're talking about.
I don't know.
That personality trait's never vived with me.
So I apologize if I'm being mean.
Oh, no,
you're good.
Like,
I understand people are not going to like me.
Yeah.
Woohoo.
I mean,
it's not a great feeling,
but it's okay.
A lot of people don't like me either.
It happens.
Like some people don't like my personality.
Yeah.
It's fine.
It's fine.
It is what it is.
It is what it is.
It is what it is.
I mean,
I feel like we have like same sarcasm,
but like you and me?
Yeah.
Like,
but yours is more like on a.
inside and mine's more on like a oh trust me i can get real guinea it's usually in the post show and
are different behind those membership stuff that's that's where we have like extra fun but i don't
do i have access to that or no no unfortunately we're actually not able to give direct access it's like
not an option we have for the youtube memberships oh okay i'm sorry i i would i legitimately would
okay so yeah 17.9% on the interest rate that's insane 14,642 dollars and 34 cents
It's worth $8,000.
Minimals of the payment, $406.
That's crazy.
How much is that going towards interest?
Is that like?
At this point, how, when did you get the car?
Two years ago.
I don't have the statement where it breaks down.
How much is going to?
And what's the term of the loan?
Oh, okay.
So you got it two years ago?
Yeah.
It's about a six year loan.
Yeah, it's not, you're not over that hump of interest.
More will start going to principal in, you know, like a year and a halfish.
Mm-hmm.
So how much do I have to like put down a month to actually,
I don't have it does.
I don't have the statement breaking it down.
Well, can't you do the like the math of 17.9%?
Well, we're going to go through the debt payoff strategy regardless.
I don't want you to put necessarily anything extra towards us right now anyway.
Like, you know, maybe the credit card will come first.
Maybe this will come first.
Well, I mean, I did file my taxes and I was, I wasn't sure if the smart.
Well, at least you did that.
Oh, my gosh.
You're like a step ahead of the guests on the show usually.
Oh, yeah.
No, I count down on income tax.
I ever like, like, well, I'm a single mom, so I get that extra.
The deductions.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, like, I'm like, not the deductions.
So, yeah, I got that.
So I should be getting, I mean, I don't know if, should I tell you how much I should be.
Yeah.
Okay, 6,600.
Good.
So I was thinking to use that towards the credit card.
Oh, well, we'll definitely fact that end in the end.
Don't get me wrong.
And maybe the $2,100 that I owe on an apartment.
You're telling me it's impossible for you to get evicted.
And you're telling me you owe $2,100 on an apartment.
I was not evicted.
It was the.
Yeah, but it's a pattern of behavior.
But, okay, listen.
What?
It should even be, it should even be 2100 because they screwed me over.
What?
What do you mean what?
What is it for?
Okay, so it's from like the month that I was supposed to be there, but I was only there for two days.
And they charged me the full month.
Yeah, no shit.
But I was only there for two days and they even told me that they were going to like rewrite or rewrite me.
Did you have proof of that communication?
Yes.
Email.
It said it should have been $60.
They said that.
Yes.
And I tried to.
Yes.
And I tried to dispute it and stuff.
But again.
Dispute or how?
Through the credit agencies?
Through them.
And they're just bitches.
Like they don't.
That's not.
No,
no,
no.
What happened?
They charged me 899.
Yes.
What did they say?
They didn't say.
They didn't respond.
Go in there.
But.
Go into the office.
If you're not getting a response,
go there.
Well,
Life happens and I forgot.
So now it's been two years.
It's a lot of money.
Is it in collections?
Yes, now it's in collections.
Oh, well, it's pretty much.
You can try to dispute that specifically and show the email.
You know, I try to do that too.
And they're like, oh, we're waiting for the management response.
Management from who?
What do you mean?
The management from the apartment.
No, I'm saying disputed on your fucking credit report.
Oh.
I've never had to do that.
So, like, do I just ask if I can pay half of it or something?
No, that would be talking to, no, you're talking about negotiating.
Okay, so I'll get you, I'll look at, I'll look at what you got after this and we can talk about, we can talk about that.
Yeah, I want to pay that off, but I also told my roommate she owes some of that too because she was living.
Yeah, she was living.
Great, super reliable.
This narrative is fully forming.
She sounds like someone who can 100%.
Is that what this is?
Is that what I'm looking at here?
Because I have a collections in front of me.
Yeah, the 21, 16.
Yeah, that's the apartment.
Okay, wonderful.
I said that she was going to owe 600 of that.
And what did she say?
She said, okay, but not right now because she has to go through like divorce and stuff.
And she has to come up with her stuff with that.
But I was like, I need to pay that off because it's...
She's going through...
A divorce?
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That's why she needed a roommate because she was going through...
When?
Two years ago.
Why is she still going through the divorce?
Because she hasn't gotten an attorney.
They're fighting it out?
Well, they were married and then they have a kid.
So.
Well, how much is, oh, so they're fighting over custody?
Probably.
And she doesn't think that he wants to pay child support.
So does he want to change?
Well, the court will tell him.
Yeah.
I'm like, just wait for that money.
Yeah, never get a woman pregnant, Caleb.
Look at that.
She actually adopted.
So it's a whole different thing.
What was the situation of the adoption?
Um, so from my understanding.
Did they adopt them together?
Yes.
And they were married.
Yes.
They had to be married to adopt because it was through his family.
They adopted.
I think it was baby daddy's cousin.
Does he want custody?
If he gets split custody, why would he give support?
He wouldn't.
Unless she had more.
Well, he doesn't, I mean, to be honest, I don't even think he wants her.
Why would they adopt?
This is disgusting.
Yeah.
She, uh, you all disgust me.
Me?
or the baby daddies.
In the other ways that we were talking about, but come on.
Oh,
but yes,
they disgust me in that way.
That's crazy.
Like,
the actions around your spending is like your kid doesn't matter.
And then their actions around they adopt and now they just don't get about the kid,
him.
Like,
this is this conversation is feeling me with disgust.
Yeah,
she has a lot going on.
So I said that she just needs to pay me.
Which is great for you to rely on her again.
Come on.
Are you seeing this?
Are you not seeing you're defining what I was saying early?
where this is such a risky situation to intermingle.
Well, how do I get myself out of that situation when we've already combined?
Is the insurance being paid on a monthly basis?
Yes.
When's the term of your insurance done?
I think it's like six months.
Like every six months?
Yeah, the adopted child, so it would be counted for that.
But I wanted to look it up just to be extra safe in the state of Texas because you never know.
With the adoption or whether it was his DNA, you know, but since they adopted together.
Okay.
No, that's what I'm seen.
I'm not a lawyer.
This is the, you know, the quick, quick check.
But I mean, this is insane.
Have you even seen, like, doctors just Google something right in front of you?
So, like, what, you know, like someone just, like a lawyer searching it up?
Because you just said you weren't a lawyer.
Yeah, but don't they search more databases?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Okay, okay.
Okay, here's credit wise.
Real estate zero.
Yeah.
Personal one zero.
That's good.
Good gosh.
Credit cards, we already saw that.
Yeah.
So this is, we already saw everything here, right?
Or is there another death that I don't know about?
No, that's that.
Is there any other?
I don't know where it's at.
It's an iPad with an Apple pen.
It's like $1,100.
You do seem like an iPad kid.
This is making sense.
Okay, what?
Tell me.
Well, yeah, no, I purchased that back in 2021.
And I got, it's like $1,100.
I've not made a payment in a few years.
A few years.
fucking years? Yeah. Why? From who? Who'd you borrow? Uh, progress lease or something off
of Best Buy. Oh. I don't. Yeah. I know. How was that not in collections yet? I don't know. I don't know
how it's not affecting my credit. I even called them. And they say that it's not affecting my credit.
Who'd you call? The progress lease. Okay. So it's still open with them. They haven't sent it to
collections, maybe internal collections, but not, they haven't sold it off or reported it. I haven't
opened my thing. What did they say? Did they say that they will sell to collections?
No. They just said that it doesn't. It won't affect it. Just make a payment whenever.
Are they just letting it balloon? I guess. I don't know. I'm like, I'm surprised they haven't even like came in and like, oh, give me my iPad. You haven't made any payments or anything.
Maybe they're trying to allow that balance the balloon, balloon, balloon. So when they sell it for pennies on the dollar, they get closer to recouping their cost.
I have no idea. But there's still a way for you to get in the end on that. Any other debt?
I believe that is it.
would you know?
Yeah, that's, that's it.
Here's your checking account, which we had to zoom in on because when you sent your checking account, it was about this big.
Hey, that was the PDF file.
Yes, after he blew it up.
Glasses?
Huh?
With your glass?
Like, you can read with those?
Once he blew it up, yes, because we had to fix your confusion.
Okay, you went in, Circle Gay, got some bullshit.
Lost and found.
Raising.
Oh, my gosh.
Suspens.
spending on here is crazy.
Dude, this entire sheet is filled with bullshit.
Bullshit.
I'm surprised.
Yeah, I'm kind of curious on how much bullshit.
I already told you the amount.
Oh, 5,000, right?
Or is that included with...
Have you been here?
Yes.
You said 600 something with fast food, but the other bullshit, what?
Did you tell me a number?
At the time of this, $157 in a checking account, that is risky as...
how you didn't have an overdraft?
I have no idea.
Okay, and then
Poor House, downtown,
some restaurant downtown,
where a market,
yeah, you went and got some bullshund,
McDonald's, Apple Bill, Waterburger,
went in, got some bullshit,
Apple Bill, she's what is he,
fucking Apple, we're going to have to look at your subscriptions.
Went in and got some bullshit.
Aphical smoothie, went in and got some bull.
What do you stop in and getting $3?
is from constantly every second of your
life. Oh, that's my energy
drinks for work. Yeah. All your miscellaneous
bullshit. Something I didn't tell you about earlier.
Guess what? That comes out to an additional
347. So stack that with your going at the
basically spending $1,000 on bullshit
there. Well, the energy drinks.
Yeah, buy them in bulk if you're going to buy them.
Incorporate them into your grocery budget.
Don't, by the way. Brew coffee.
I do brew coffee as well.
Brew double the coffee.
Well, I drink the
energy drink. Yeah, you're not paying your
to have bills because you're paying advancing because you're maxing our credit cards how have i not
gotten through to you yet you know even like the guess where it's like it seems like an insane
guess i know i'm at least breaking through to them by the time we get to this come on the fact that
you are not understanding what i'm saying come on dunk donut subway i guess i shouldn't be
mad about that but this is i don't know i don't know i feel like all this work okay apple bill
going in getting some monster.
Apple Cash sent out.
Apple Cash sent out.
What does all that Apple Cash sent out?
Well, the Apple Cash is also with, well, is it?
Oh, okay, Apple Cash.
What's the?
80 and 21.
80, 21.
80 and then 21.
Yeah, well, that could be either for like, vape or.
Oh, you're vaping.
Don't vape.
You have a child.
You want to be there.
I've had people on the show.
her lung was collapsed from vaping.
I don't know.
Me.
And another one who's with someone who had a lung collapse and is now still vaping.
Like, come on.
Two times in the show?
What are we doing?
Don't do it.
Survire for your kid.
Starbucks.
Going and getting a monster.
Going and getting a monster.
Going and getting a monster.
Going and getting a monster.
Starbucks.
Oh, 3724 from Starbucks.
What the fuck are you possibly doing?
Good McDonald's going in and getting a monster.
Going in and getting a monster.
This is a joke.
Every day I go and get.
Santicox.
Santico's.
Santicos.
It's a movie theater and San Antonio.
Oh my gosh.
And then more movie theater.
More movie theater.
Starbucks.
More movie theater?
I think.
Raising Keynes.
Monster.
Monster.
Monster.
Monster.
Monster.
Monster.
Apple Cash sent out.
So, vape.
Monster! Monster!
Possible?
Two possibles in a row, $34?
Oh, I paid, I was paying a loan off that I borrowed.
Oh, possible.
That's the day of alternative.
I've never heard of possible.
Apple cash sent out again, so we're killing ourselves,
and there's more movie theaters and five below.
Go to the park with a kid.
Go to the park.
Go to the park.
Congratulations.
Happy birthday.
We're going to a park year, a six-year-old.
You barely know the difference.
She also likes doing that, too.
but I want to take her out to.
I get you want to and I like the heart,
but if you are potentially putting her at risk
for the housing situation or future things,
you're fucking it up.
You're putting her through more stress in the end.
She doesn't know it yet.
So do you have any suggestions for...
But we have warm days all the time,
especially in San Antonio.
Yes, it's cold today,
but it could be warm tomorrow.
In fact, I believe on Friday and Saturday,
it's going to be like 60 or 70.
It's going to be fine.
It's an example.
It's always hit or mess in the winter here.
probably a monster cash app out of 110
movie theater
TikTok fucking shop
good thing is getting banned for you
SBS yeah
Is that even true
We will see
I don't know by then by now
it might be completely different
but it hasn't been done yet
at the time of filming this
more Epic Cash
Shut up $395
dollars
The what?
395 Apple Cash
Oh yeah that's
that's um
that was rent
Monster, Panda Express, Monster, Monster,
Apple Bill, Monster, Apple Cash sent out.
Oh, there's fucking more.
What a joke.
Six-year-old kid we have to take care of.
A roommate we can rely on.
Bills, we're paying our bills.
Our bills are paid.
Fuck you.
Oh, wait, this is a different account.
Starting balance $1.60, ending balance $2.6.
What's this account?
I know, you couldn't do a PDF.
You probably don't know what this is either.
but what it will just like try try your best here i'll let you touch it thank you maybe i need
glasses oh this is my um trial support card i didn't know this okay that's my trial support card
so so i have three cards spend your child support on monster dunkin donuts planet k games
monster monster panda express clairs and game stop
game stop i don't even remember that one well everything's coming together now guys
Well, the child support.
Good use of child support.
That, okay.
You're being real supportive.
Okay, I was going to say the bills are being paid, but then you're going to yell at me and that they're not being paid.
Those are not.
Welcome to reality.
So income 2950.
Your debt minimum wage payments, I mean, it's not insane.
I mean, that car payment is hard, but you don't have a ton of debts.
5.58 on a monthly basis.
What's your portion of rent?
Your portion of rent.
Not with the funky math.
Your portion of rent.
Okay.
$700.
Utilities.
like all of it together what you pay for well okay so 35 for uh water 65 for electricity i do i pay
60 for Wi-Fi um 60 every three months for trash okay so $20 a month um you have renters insurance
no get renter's insurance you dump
I'm getting $10 for renter's insurance.
It's dumb not to have renter's insurance.
It's why I said dumb tip, please.
If something happens, make sure you're covered.
$10.
I think I have renter's insurance under my, well, under my car insurance, but I...
Well, check.
I'll take it out for now.
Put it in if you need it.
Okay.
What's your phone bill?
My parents are actually paying for that.
Yeah, that makes sense.
I'm thankful for that.
Yes, you're 16.
Okay.
But that's fine.
I guess for now.
Yeah, it was.
$70.
Groceries, you should be able to do $500.
F*** the roommate.
She takes care of herself.
TP fund.
She'll be able to do 150 that takes care of essentials and anything else you need.
Okay?
I know they can get a little complicated around school beginning season.
Sometimes you take a little more in a month and you do less the next month.
Please download the simpler budget app.
Please, you get it for free forever.
The premium version with all the classes and all the live sessions where you talk to financial advisors, please do it.
Don't f*** this up.
Gas, room, from drive, drive on a monthly basis.
$300.
Okay.
Car insurance, your portion.
288.
That's your portion.
Okay.
Medical expenses.
I don't have any so far yet.
Therapy is not a co-pay?
No.
But.
Medications?
No.
What were you saying?
I just recently got insurance through my work.
Good, but what are your, no expenses outside of that?
No.
Jim?
I just got a gym
How much? That's okay, I support it.
35, but in February
there's going to be... How old are your pets?
How old?
Yes.
Both of my cats are like
two, three years old,
and then my dog just turned one.
Oh, shit. We got to take
$130 out of your
paycheck for the health insurance.
Okay.
So, you're...
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Euphoria Elixir collection by Calvin Klein. New income is 2,820. Okay, I'm sorry, how old are they?
Um, like two years old for the cats and then, uh, one year old.
They healthy?
Yes.
Okay.
I'm putting in $120 for pet insurance.
Or else you can't have pets.
Or else you can't have pets because you are not going to be able to cover a life saving emergency.
Well, and if you can't cover it, you shouldn't have them.
Are you incorporating my insurance that I just got to?
No.
Oh, okay.
Pet insurance.
Pets aren't covered under your health insurance.
I know, but like for the budget.
But I do that.
But for the budget part, wouldn't you incorporate to see?
Your insurance payment?
Yeah.
Yes, it's taken from your income.
That's why your net income went down.
Oh, okay, okay, got you.
I'm putting in it $120 for pet insurance.
Anything else that needs to be in your budget that I do not, that I have not put in there.
I feel like I'm going to forget something later on.
You probably will, but build the budget.
Go through the budgeting class so you also know how to build the budget.
Go through, well, eventually the investing class.
Again, you get everything for free.
We want to set you up with so much stuff for success.
We, you get so much.
They get it all bundled together for 15% off all the classes.
And I think everyone should take it.
But you get it for free.
So make sure you fucking do it.
I don't know.
I'll make you proud.
I mean,
we can put you,
take the free course through course careers as well.
So we can get you set up with a certification to boost your income or change
a career if you ever want.
Yeah.
My dream job is actually videography.
Videography?
Well,
they don't do that.
But go,
go ahead and take their free course and get assessed for something.
I mean,
I would like to have my...
Okay.
Okay, your budget's over by $16.
You need $2,836.
This is why you're paid advancing.
This is why your credit card's getting into max.
This is why you're not making it in progress.
This makes sense.
Can you pick up more hours at this job?
Is that an option?
Or do you hit 40 and that's it?
Rarely.
Okay.
I'm a trainer.
Is it consistent?
Do you know your days in time?
Yes.
Or does it fluctuate?
It doesn't fluctuate.
Good.
What work days do you work again?
I remember they were longer hours.
I work Tuesday?
Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Good. Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Wonderful. Sunday, Monday. And Wednesday, I'm off.
Yes. What happens to the kid? Well, the kids in like first grade now in second grade, right?
Kindergarten. Kindergarten? Okay. So they're in public school, though. Good. Okay. You're working at a coffee shop or something while she's at school on Monday and Tuesday.
Monday and Tuesday? Yeah, just something during the day. Anything you can do. Monday and Wednesday? Even just going in and plugging numbers into someone's just like. I try to apply for Starbucks.
Well, okay. You didn't get that one.
Good job. Work. Work.
more, figure out other ones.
Well, they said that I needed specific hours to go.
Yes, they will.
You're going to have to apply like it's a full-time job.
You're not going to apply to one job and say, oops, I didn't get it.
You're going to be applying to everything and you're going to give me your work hours.
You're going to get nose 99.9% of the time, but you need to work more.
The fact is you are negative $16 on a monthly basis now with your health insurance.
And I'm glad you have health insurance.
It's something that you're required to have.
And even if we are missing anything from this budget, you're going to be negative even more.
And this is just basic survival.
I didn't put a single cent of fund money in there.
and we know you spend money on fun,
approximately $1,000, if not $1,500 on it,
which is not surprising with how you're doing the Dave thing.
How much do you owe on Dave right now?
Because I know you haven't backpaid Dave.
Yes, I have.
Really?
So you're currently on Dave.
Okay, so I have not used Dave in a while.
It's just that.
Oh, no, no, no.
Well, I saw the other version, though, in there.
Possible.
I paid off that.
Okay, never use it again.
Listen, you are getting a,
even if you're just nannying or dog watching,
you download Rover.
Go walk some dogs and stuff during that time.
There is so much you can do,
even if you're just driving Uber,
eats or something literally. I used to do Uber
Listen, and it's not as good as it used
to be, but the thing is there are so many options
and the limit is you. So
whatever you can do to work during the day, well,
she is at school on Monday and Friday just to make
progress. Bring it an extra $300
a month. The debt will still take a while to pay
off, but at least we can start making
progress, at least with that extra
$300 a month, you have 25
months. That still
takes four and a half years, but obviously hopefully
pay increases more hours, holiday session,
stuff like that. The fact is,
you might have to take something to course careers and try to get a better paying job.
That might have to be something that you're doing.
I do want to go to college.
Well, I'm sorry, that's going to be difficult right now.
Yeah.
With the reality or situation, if you're doing it, we're getting out of debt.
We might be cash flowing in some community school.
Oh, yeah.
No, my plan was to do community first.
I know, but even still, we can't take away hours from work right now because your minimum survival is this.
And I need you to work more than you are.
So you need to pull in an extra 500 bucks a week.
which and that's going to be difficult if you work those two
eight hours because it wouldn't even be eight hours
yeah because I got six hours at each.
The earliest I can drop them off is seven and then I can pick them up.
I got you.
45.
But with my income taxes I was I was thinking I could maybe.
There is that but you'd be working.
No, that'd be 41 bucks an hour.
At the best you'll be half of that.
Yeah.
So, but the roommate's okay with watching the kids on some evenings, right?
Yeah.
It's just like- You're going to have to work some evenings.
We alternate days.
Good, good, good, good.
Just the ones that you're alternating, you're working.
This is the grind time.
You're in the grind time.
You need to work.
That's the fact.
Your tax return for a second.
That is great.
Great.
Let's pay off the credit card with the tax return.
Let's put a thousand.
No, let's put a, let's put $2,000 aside on the savings, $1,500 to the credit card that's gone.
And then with the remaining amount, we're putting towards the car loan.
And we're aggressively paying down that car loan.
car as quick as possible. Okay. We're leaving the collections. You can negotiate in the end.
We'll talk about it on the financial audit follow-up channel when you come back on.
But you have no emergency fund. You're dramatically behind down investing.
Like, you're in a scary situation. I don't think you fully realize that.
Am I supposed to be investing in something? Because of your situation right now? No, but yes,
you should have been at this point, even if minimal. Yeah, I have not. Like, I would like to know.
We'll get you there and you'll take the investing class as well. But either way.
No knowledge of that. We will get you there. That's not where you are today.
I need you to focus on this.
I'm just saying you're in a very dangerous position.
The fact that you don't understand that is worrisome.
And I need you to get a fire under your butt.
Because I am scared for you and your child legitimately.
And you do not deserve that as a human on this planet.
I do not want you to have to go through that.
But the fact is that the choices you are doing have gotten you here.
This has all been your choice.
All been your choice.
The kid coming into the world, okay, that happens.
But from here, the financial choices that you're making have been your choice.
You're in a blessed situation when you rent is relatively cheap.
She's going to watch the kid sometimes and you're going to be working.
you need to bring in a minimum $500 extra a month.
That is a minimum.
Yes, I'm glad the credit card will go away.
You're going to actually close the credit card.
You're going to close it.
It's going to hurt your credit,
but you're going to close it because you cannot be trusted.
Until you can build the behavior necessary
to have a starter credit card again in the future,
you can not have it again.
You can use the FIS card,
so you can still be building credit.
But, and then we're paying off the car as quick as we can.
With that, I'm guessing with the extra $500 coming in on a monthly basis
with where your car will be, you'll be out of debt.
in two years. You'll be out of debt in two years, but you'll have pay increases and better months.
So you'll be out of debt and probably, I'm guessing, about a year and three-fourths.
Then you're going to get a fully front of the worst fund, probably two and a half year process.
So should I not try to refinance my car?
Because I was trying to build my credit up to refinance my car.
Well, you're trying as complete failure because you're at a max-out card of car, so that doesn't make any sense.
That's not to make a break.
Because we're going to pay off this car so quick that it'll be pretty mid.
It can if you're if, but the fact is I don't want you to refinance it and think that you've made progress.
So all of a sudden we let the foot off the gas.
I don't want there to be a psychological failure there.
That's the only reason why I'm like a little against it.
I'm not against it in a mathematical perspective.
Because I refinanced a car before and it's safe.
And look where you are now.
So it doesn't matter.
Hammer financial score.
You thought you're two.
Let's see.
You spent over your budget.
So that's a zero out of ten.
You have collections.
So debt is a zero out of ten.
Emergency fund.
You don't have a single dollars.
Zero out of ten retirement.
doesn't even know what that is.
0.10 real estate.
0.10.
You don't want anything.
Yeah.
Through my payment.
I think I have a 401k.
Oh, how much is in it?
I do not know.
How much you think is in it?
I'm going to say 12,000.
12,000?
I don't know.
That's not reliable, is it?
What do I mean?
Like, I don't know.
Do you guys know by chance?
I did not.
Okay, no, you did not.
In my pay stub somewhere.
It said like 401K.
Probably the amount that went to it.
Do you know the percentage of putting to your 401K?
No, probably like $50.
Hey, I need you to talk to HR or just anyone at the company, whatever, even a manager.
Figure out your contribution that's going to 401K.
If you're taking a match, is there a match?
I think so.
Take the match only.
Do not contribute anything more because you do not have enough to survive.
What do you mean?
I'm not very educated.
It's okay.
It's okay.
It's like failed.
No, it didn't.
You failed.
But they didn't teach me how to file taxes.
They didn't teach me how to do X, Y, Y,
most don't you have failed life.
Let's be honest.
You have access to Google and YouTube and everything.
Yeah.
People are wondering like,
why would you charge for a class?
Because even with the free resources out there,
people cannot figure it out.
People cannot wade through the information.
There's so much out there that we put it in a good,
navigable way and actually teach real value.
Like, I'm good at math.
Like, I know.
Listen.
It was my strong suit.
Listen, they offer a four.
They offer a 401k match, probably.
You're going to take that match.
Anything over that match you are not going to do.
So what?
No, what is the match?
We'll talk about this in the Financial Auto Post Show
because I am moving on
and I am currently done with this
because it was a little frustrating.
Retirement, I'm putting it a zero out of ten
because I'll put it a one out of ten
because you can't tell me anything.
I'll round up to a Himber financial score 0.5 out of 10.
Guys, join us in the post show.
we're going to explain the match, but we're also more importantly going to call and have that
confrontation with her roommate who apparently refuses to do anything mature in this entire world.
And that'll be good.
And join us for the extra thousand hours of extra content we have in our elite membership,
best value for your dollar.
Check out all our education, 15% off bundled.
See you there.
We need to get your roommate off the car insurance.
Confront her.
Call her right now?
Yes, ma'am.
Better believe it.
Usually I need like a few therapy sessions before.
Not this time.
They suggest that we get separate car insurance.
I pay more on the motherfigrant, so you're a risk of me taking care of my bills.
You have one kid.
You don't need to.
He's a fucking ass.
You.
You're the fucking boy.
Big.
He's screwed that out.
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