Financial Audit - She Needs To Divorce Him | Financial Audit

Episode Date: September 28, 2026

*I CALL AND BRUTALLY CONFRONT THEIR SCAMMER ROOMMATE IN THE POST SHOW* This man is stealing from them, scamming, and being an evil person. He deserves my crash out! Watch post show here: https://hamr.link/fa7e57 *OR* download the brand new Hammer Elite App ➡ https://hamr.link/755468 (discounted annual) 🏆 Dollarwise Referral Games is Live! Earn up to $15 per qualifying referral: https://go.dollarwise.com/joinrefytc 💻 Not a Dollarwise member. Lock in 56% off monthly before October 9th: https://go.dollarwise.com/newstart1 ============================= *Caleb Hammer Financial Resources* ============================= 👉 *PERSONAL LOANS* Shop for the best personal loan for a new purchase, a consolidation, or something else → https://shorturl.at/c53Eg 👉 *DEBT RELIEF* Finally experience relief from your debt once and for all → https://shorturl.at/VbGPv 👉 *CREDIT BUILDER* Got crappy credit? Break free and finally build it for good → https://shorturl.at/zZf2P 👉 *AUTO LOANS* Get the best rates on an auto loan or refinance → https://shorturl.at/vNxQL 👉 *CAR INSURANCE* Find and compare much better AND cheaper car insurance for free → https://hamr.link/ytautolion ============================= 🔥 MY NEW FLAVOR IS FINALLY LIVE!! Get Liquid Assets *NOW* for under 40 cents per serving!! Get 10% off your entire order with code CALEB - https://hamr.link/calebdrank 🔥 Get Your Own *Hammer Financial Score* → https://hamr.link/newquiz ============================= *Sponsors for This Video* ============================= Ready to be seen? Check that appointment off your to-do list with Zocdoc ✅: https://zocdoc.com/caleb #sponsored If you or someone you know experienced serious mental health struggles as a result of social media use, you may be entitled to a potential recovery of over $1,000. Visit https://morganmorganpa.sjv.io/c/7273707/3841482/23429?sharedid=caleb-hammer to submit a claim now. ============================= *Education* ============================= 👉 Get access to EVERYTHING I offer all in one place: https://bit.ly/4sUm2pb ⚡Learn how to budget: https://bit.ly/4sspyGh ⚡Learn how to invest: https://bit.ly/41mr8OP ⚡Pay off your debt: https://calebhammer.com/master-your-debt ============================= *Extra Resources* ============================= 👉 Land a high-paying job with no experience or degree: ➡ https://coursecareers.com/CalebHammer 👉 Get FREE MONEY by investing with Public! https://secure.moneymatchup.com/public-caleb 👉 Find the best credit cards for you with my quiz! https://cards.calebhammer.com/yt 👉 Get $20 from Acorns for free: ➡ https://acorns.com/caleb 👉 Helium Mobile: Use promo code CALEB for a FREE plan ➡ https://hellohelium.com/ 👉 Protect your online privacy and security for free with Aura: ➡ https://aura.com/hammer 👉 Checking & Savings: Get up to $350 and 3.75% APY on savings with Chime®: https://secure.moneymatchup.com/-caleb-chime-YT ============================= *Chapters* ============================= 00:00 Intro 01:40 Jobs & Income 07:09 Financial Audit is their last hope 08:34 sounds like domestic ab*se waiting to happen... 24:23 shes in a dangerous situation with this man. 30:13 getting Lindsay Clancy vibes here... 34:03 wouldnt be financial audit without some cheating!! 41:13 this guy is such a p*ssy 45:42 LADY JUST LEAVE HIM HOLY 48:23 8 MONTHS BEHIND???? 52:02 shoutout adam for the fist fight 01:02:32 lets see what the mom has to say... 01:08:37 aaaand a repossessed vehicle lol 01:18:12 chat, should she cheat again? 01:23:33 maybe him and his boy are more than roommates..? 01:27:22 Budget!! 01:29:48 Hammer Financial Score ============================= Want more content? ============================= 🍿 Caleb Hammer Clips: https://www.youtube.com/@calebhammerclips 🍿 Front Page Documentaries: https://www.youtube.com/@frontpagechannel 🍿 Caleb Hammer Top Videos https://www.youtube.com/@CalebHammerTopVideos ============================= *Connect with me!* ============================= TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@calebhammercomposer X: https://x.com/sircalebhammer IG: https://www.instagram.com/calebhammercomposer/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/calebhammercomposer/ ============================= *Want to be a guest on Financial Audit?* ============================= 👉 We film weekdays in our studio in Austin, Texas (in person only)! To apply, visit: https://calebhammer.com/apply *Some of the links and other products that appear in this video are from companies for which Caleb Hammer will earn an affiliate commission or referral bonus. This is not investment advice. Sponsorship and business inquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Going on vacation? We're here for it. With kids, who turned the backseat into a courtroom drama over whose tablet is louder, whose charger is faster, and while watching the same cartoon for the hundredth time is a human right? Yep, we totally have vehicles to handle that, because whether it's a road trip or a business trip, where your flight's delayed, your phone's at 2%

and your dinner is whatever is open? Yeah, here for that too. Enterprise, we're here for it. To watch episodes of Financial Audit a week earlier, check us out on YouTube. I'm tired of the yelling. I'm tired of the abuse. Screaming, throwing things at children, banging things around making holes in the wall. That is not okay.

My kids have definitely suffered a lot. And you're fully acknowledging right now that you abuse her. If yelling and throwing stuff, yeah. We don't fuck around with kids. Yes, sir. I try not to. Yes, sir. Fuck you, yes, sir.

Don't yes, sir, me, you pathetic. pathetic wrath? Leave him. Leave him. Don't you sick of wondering where your money is going? That ends today. The new Dollar Wise is live on your phone and now on the web as well. And to celebrate the web launch, we're giving you 20% off.

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I want you to be on the next episode of Financial Audit right here in Austin, Texas. If you think you have interesting finances with an interesting personality or a story or a life or relationship, I will personally pay you to take time off of work, fly you down to Austin, get you personal transportation, a hotel, food,

and we'll have a great time hanging out. Go to Calebhammer.com slash apply or click that link in the description below. Hi, I'm Jamie. I'm 26. I'm Michael. I'm 26, somewhere from St. Mary's County, Maryland. And this is financial audit. Thanks for coming down to Austin, guys. Really nice to meet you.

Jamie, as always, starting with the one in front of me. What do you do for a living up there? I am a medical assistant. Sure. What are you assisting? I work in primary care currently. Okay. Well, probably not as much money.

But let's see, I don't know. What do you make? I make 19 an hour. Yeah, not as much money. Okay, honestly, St. Mary County, I have no idea the cost of living in St. Mary County. I don't know where that is. Maryland, sure. I mean, in general, Northeast does tend to be more expensive, so I go off of that, making that 19 a little harder. It's 19 down here, you know, it wouldn't be the end of the world. How many hours a week are you working? 40. So what's your

account per paycheck? What's that per paycheck basis? That's a little complicated currently. Is it? Yeah, it's very complicated. So technically it should be about 24 a month, but currently I had a credit card, garnished my wages. So I'm missing about 800 a month out of that paycheck. Okay, so what do you make a month then? So what has the account now is, what, 850 plus 850, whatever that is. 16 something, 17, 100. Yeah.

1700. Okay. Well, that's not about to live on. No. Are you guys married? No. No. We are not.

What's the status? Engaged. Engaged. Yes, sir. We are engaged. Congratulations. When did you guys get engaged? Christmas?

When's the marriage? We don't know. No date. Yeah. We have not figured that out yet. Well, Michael, what do you do for a living? I am a fry cook, and, well, in the morning and then at night, I have a second job cleaning. Okay, cool.

What's your hourly? How many hours a week are you working? I was a 40 hours at my fry cook job, and then probably, like, another 20, 25 at my second job cleaning. Yeah, I mean, you're working your butt off, and you kind of have to. She's only making $1,700, but she's making $40 a little. I feel like your wage should be more. But okay, okay, what do you make on a monthly basis net? What was it, like, $3,400 a month from my fry-cooked job?

And then... Okay, so yours makes no fucking sense. 19 hours times 40 times 52, divided by 12. I'll see this is pre-tax. No, you're not getting taxed at 50%. I also get... The fuck you're talking about. My insurance and all that kind of stuff comes down to my paycheck as well.

Does it add up to 50%? I might... Are you sure you know your take-home pay? Yes, 19 an hour. No, it's... That's not your take-home pay. Like, that's actually the stupidest answer I remember. Do you know your take-home pay?

19 an hour! Come on. Okay. So what's your... So why has your account monthly with everything combined? What, with both of our... Your two jobs, Michael. Uh, 4,400?

You're wrong. No. It would be 4,200, sorry. It's 200. You're wrong. You have to be wrong. You'll me pull up my pay stubs? Yeah, actually.

Cool. That might be good. Are you hyper-inflating? Me? No, I make 28 an hour. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Well, that makes more sense.

I actually have his recent paystubs, too, if that would help in my email. Okay. Yeah, pull it up. Pay-or-view. Okay. You make some of the weirdest times I've ever heard. Sorry. You're just like every five seconds later.

And there's another one. What are you doing? Do you exist? Are you alive? I think so. I think I'm just a heavy breather. Even our roommate. Adam always says I'm a heavy breather.

He thinks I'm sleeping. Who? He thinks I'm sleeping. Who? Adam, like when I'm breathing, he thinks I'm sleeping because I breathe so heavy. Adam? That's our roommate. How the fuck would I know your roommate's name?

Oh, that's just fake name. Sorry. I didn't mean that. I even know you have a roommate? No sarcasm, no joking. Fuck the fans. Thank you. Sorry, I was just trying to say something about it,

why I'm breathing or making weird noises. You're just expecting me to know you live with someone or who you live with? No, I was just trying to explain. Are you talking to her? No, I was talking to you. You asked why I make weird noise. But you're telling me about someone that no context,

I would not understand who you're talking about. I mean, that's true. How you speak to people? That's crazy. I don't think so, no. That blows my mind. I mean, yeah, your paycheck is, I'm sorry. I apologize.

That's rude. Oh, hopefully it broke so I can get you a better phone because that one's a piece of shit. That, yeah, she makes that much money. Okay, yeah, you must have insane premiums or something on your health insurance. Okay, guys, so your household income is much better because of him, kind of strong,

but he's working his ass off. Yeah. That's why he's probably a little looping. He just starts talking to me like five sentences ahead. He doesn't get much sleep at all. Yeah, probably because he can't breathe. $5,900 is what you guys take home on a monthly basis. What's going on?

What are we talking about? A lot. I mean, this is it at this point. It's either. This is it. Yeah. Both of you or just you? If we don't fix whatever we got going on financially and like relationship-wise, it's over again.

Again? Yeah. Okay. now you're saying this. Are we both aligned with the on the edge, teetering on the edge? Or is this just a you thing? No, I can agree with it'll probably be the breaking point if we can't figure this out and we'll probably end up splitting again. Again, when did you guys split the first time? Uh, 2024. She cheated on me. Oh my, oh my goodness financial audit. I swear, this is like literally cheating auto, I swear. You guys, what is with this show, man? We'll get into that

at some point. Stop sniffing like a freak dude. Sorry. Luckily for you guys, we probably cut it out, but it's bad in here. So what's going on now? We'll get back to 2024, but how are we at a breaking point? Now, give me a picture of what is happening. What's going on? I'm at my breaking point currently. Okay. Well, as an engaged couple, that's not great to hear, is it, buddy? No, not at all. Okay. What's going on?

Michael does not have the best handle on his emotions. Okay. Well, talk about you. I get angry. The alpha is angry, and you don't want to see that. Very fast. We all get angry. Yes, we do.

What you choose to do with your anger is something completely different. Yes. What do you do when you're angry? Yell or throw things or break things. Break things, throw things. We've gone through multiple dog food bins because he likes to kick the dog food bin and break it. We have...

What? First of all, that's a weird thing to be just automatically attracted to an anger. It's also right in front and he's like

to, so he just kicks it. I don't like you getting... He gets angry feeding the animals doing a chore. This is what pushes him over the edge. What is wrong with you?

Everything. But it's just with five kittens when you try to go into the food thing. Why do you have so many kittens? That's not like even necessarily good.

Oh, no, it's not good. We took in a stray probably like in April. During that time in Maryland, it would get like to 20, 30 degrees that night and the cat was skinned bones. It was February. No, it wasn't. Yeah, it was. When we took Bean in, it was February. Because we had her for a couple months, yeah.

And we had her for a couple months, took her to the vets. The vet said, oh, shit, she's pregnant. Yeah. And so anyways. But what's triggering you around this house specifically? Any little inconvenience to us? I mean, just small things. Well, I mean, you do work 60 hours a week.

I'm not saying your reaction's healthy, but I can see you, I mean, you get less sleep. Okay, I got that. So, but it's what you do with it. What happens in the house? Just kicking the bin? No, we have holes in the doors. He's kicked the doors. Smaller shovel.

Smaller hole. Dude, you're not a 12-year-old kid going through puberty. Yeah. I'm still emotionally like that, unfortunately, right now. You're 26? Yes, I am. act like it grow the fuck up i'm not saying you can't make mistakes in life we all do throughout all of life but we're not kicking and putting holes in walls how long have you guys been together

going on nine years what the fuck okay well well you guys got together very uh young um and not even concluding marriage but i guess i'm not surprised why would you tie the knot getting with someone you're seeing essentially like, and kind of like a kind of a dangerous household. Yeah. And so given his,

you know, what's going on emotionally how he's, has a very short fuse, I normally take the kids. I'll do most of the legwork. There's kids. We have two.

Did I miss that? Yes. I guess so. We have two. You're putting holes around the house when there's kids. You're kicking the cans

when there's kids. I did that before we had kids. But I have done it. while you have kids? I have done it. Dude, you're a freak. Okay.

What does he raise his voice to? How loud does it get? We're on these kids. A four-year-old. They have memories now. Yeah, he can get pretty loud. Our latest argument, I think, was when we were cleaning. And it's just the little shit.

Like, our daughter, she's four. She's still learning to clean up after herself. She's still learning to, like, you know, how to organize and do things. So he gets very irritated that she, she doesn't know how to do that yet. And she shuts down because we are in the process of trying to get her diagnosed of being, like, on the spectrum. But we're not, we're waiting on a doctor's appointment for that.

Anyways, besides the point. But he is very angry that she does not pick up. How does he act towards the kid? At first, you're very calm, but after a certain point, it escalates to. To yelling and... At the kid? Yes. No.

Yeah. How, after what's her in point? No, no, no. I'm not grazing past that. After what certain point? Maybe like three times of asking you to pick something up. Yeah, I'd say so. The four-year-old?

Yes. Diagnosed autism? Not yet. Working on the doctor's point. We're pretty sure she does, yeah. We'll see. Okay. But she was referred from her pediatricians to the autism center.

What's he yelling? At the kid? Yes. What's he yelling at the kid? Like, you need to pick up your things, like, pick this up, put in the bin. And but she... But screaming. Yes.

She'll start crying and she'll shut down. Yes, it's a four-year-old. What the fuck are you thinking? What is wrong with you? I don't really think at the time when I'm doing it. I'm just mad. How frequently? On a weekly basis.

Okay, you don't think, but it happens every week, dude. Yeah. This is a kid. We don't fuck around with kids. Yes, sir. I try not to, but... Yes, sir? Fuck you, yes, sir.

You're out there literally doing it on a weekly basis. Don't yes, sir, me, you pathetic rat, worm, freak? What are you talking about? You do this on a daily basis. Don't show up here and yes, sir, me. You're screaming at the kid. What is wrong with you? Try to look good, yes, sir.

Fuck you. This is a child. We don't fuck with kids. If it's another adult, maybe. Okay, we can talk about it. This is a kid you're screaming at. on a weekly basis, screaming and throwing things. Tell me about the throwing things.

Good. He likes to throw, like, when she's not picking up her toys, he'll just throw them back in the bins. Well, she's there. Yeah. And just start cleaning up that way. The blame's on him 100%, but I do have to put a little blame on you for a second.

Oh, why'd you produce another one with this? When that's happening. Because these kids don't consent to the coming of the world. I have to ask this, and then I'll lay into him. trust me, but why? Why do we bring another one? The second one was not planned.

It was an accident. Were you having sex unprotected? Yes, this is true. Were you on birth control? No. Go fuck yourself then. Do you know how biology works? Yeah, I'm an adult-share.

So shut up, unplanned. You're doing everything it takes to do it. And how frequently is he throwing things? We go through this pretty much every week when we clean up the house. Jeez. Frizzar fuck sick. So what happens for? Between you two in this situation?

Normally, just like the child's. The children, I mean, the child's not a word. I end up shutting down as well, just because I can't, I do not... You're not protecting them? I try to. How? I normally end up taking the kids and trying to calm them down at the same time. Where do you take them?

We're still in the same house. Okay. Because we don't have any other place to take them. Or I'll try to calm her down, or I'll take over cleaning and tell him, like, hey, just go do whatever. I got it. It's fine. I'll take care of it. And then I'll end up getting our daughter, like, you know, I'll set her up on the couch or something and put on one of her favorite TV shows.

And then I'll just finish cleaning out the mess. When was the last time there was a meltdown? When we had our argument? No way. Yeah. Which was like the week before we came here. Yeah. So a week ago, what happened then?

The big argument was in front of the kids Was he was getting very angry throwing things And just being like passive aggressive and obnoxious Just a week ago Yeah Me man Well I guess that lines up with every week What triggered him?

I was sitting on the couch Trying to you know I was about to get up and clean And he got angry that I wasn't doing anything And helping him Okay Potential reason reasonable to be upset at.

Now what you do next either becomes reasonable or unreasonable. Continue. But, you know, as the way that I grew up, going back to a little bit there, it was a very, it was a very, not a very good upbringing at all. So I shut down when he gets very angry.

Okay. And it causes me a lot of anxiety. Hold on. No, I get that. That part's fine. But you weren't cleaning. What did he do? That's what I want to know. Then we started. I understand you shut down, but what did he do to make him? make you shut down.

He starts, when he starts cleaning, like instantly when he starts cleaning, it's very passive, aggressive and throwing things and being annoyed. What's the passive aggressive? Like, what's he doing? Give me an example. Throwing the toys back in the bins,

walking around, stomping his feet. You have like toy bins. When you're cleaning, why aren't you just picking up? Did you're a dad with kids? Why aren't you just picking up? Why are you stomping around throwing shit? Uh, have no excuse for it.

I just get angry and that's just what I do. Why, though? Why is that your reaction? Why are you so upset at it? Because it irritates me, because whenever I'd get off. So I worked my second job Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and I try while she was on maternity leave, well, unpaid maternity leave. I would get home Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday. And before I would go to my second job, I would try my best to help pick up the house and get all of like her toys that she had left everywhere.

I'd pick them up, put them in the bin. and then when I would get home at like between 12 or 1, the house would look like a bomb had went off again. But mind you, at the same time, though, I had a C-section. So I couldn't physically get up and clean as much as I used to be able to. And that's why I would get angry whenever I would try to get our daughter to clean. Or not clean, but like pick up her toys.

Like when she's done playing with them, to put it back in there. Right? But do we blow the fuck? when they don't? I do. You do once a week at a minimum. It got to the point to where when we had our first baby, um, four year old, yeah. She, his mother took her for a good part of her life because what his mom was when 20-22? Yeah, his mom was physically afraid that he would hurt her. So we missed like- Oh my, what is happening? So, who am I talking to right now? That is insane. What did she see? for that to happen.

Just his anger in general, and, like, I would call her on the phone because I had really bad postpartum being my first child. So I would call her a lot of times crying because our first child, she had a lot of medical things going on. So I would call her crying because I didn't have any help. And he got very angry, very easily with her because she wouldn't take a bottle. She was coughing up a lot of stuff. She was having a hard time breathing.

So his mom ended up taking her for a good portrait. of her life. How long? About six months. Jeez. Now this is my concern. Bro hasn't stopped in four years with his anger issues.

Why is this the last chance? Because I thought that he would change. Why did you think that? Huh? Because he said that he would. When? Multiple occasions? And he didn't.

No. There is... He's a piece of shit. He's done. I've wrote him off. Okay? He's... Now when I'm talking to you,

you are someone that is able to make a choice. So why the fuck are you still there? So we can't be in a house where it's bore and abusive towards the kids. Roman shit at the kids. Near the kids. Yes. Yeah. Screaming. Screaming.

Top of the lungs screaming at the kids. Right? Or is he just talking like this or is like, what the fuck is going on here? Yeah, he's pretty loud. That to the kids. He's pretty loud. That's insane. That is disgusting.

Why are you still there? because he's not going to leave. You're the only one, unfortunately, that has the agency. Yeah, it's because I came from a broken family. Great. Don't you want to get away then? I do, and I want to break those generational curses, but I always... But you're not.

You're literally just staying. And again, to be clear, I know I'm ranting on you right now. That's because I've crossed him off my list. He's done. You are the person that can leave. Because I thought that keeping our family together is better. Is it? When that family gets screamed at once a week and stomped and thrown...

Is it? Is that really better? No, it's not. Not at all. Then this is your last chance. How was this your last chance? You guys broke up previously, right? Yes. When did you break up? The, uh, 2024. Also, the kid was very much in the picture.

Yes. Uh, how long were you broken up? Uh, about six months. Why'd you get back together? Because that was the time, the 2024 was my first breaking point. And that's when I left. And that's when I actually, that's when the cheating comes into play. There's cheating now.

Yes. Oh my... Guys, what the fuck are we doing here? Yeah, she cheated. Oh, she cheated. Yeah. Well, you know what? Maybe the first reasonable time.

Yeah, I can't disagree with that. No shit, piece of shit. Stop trying to look good. You sitting here, quiet talking. Yeah, yes, sir. Yeah, I'm so bad. Fuck you. What's wrong with you?

We'll get into that in a bit, but I still need to know what's going on the household today. How many holes are in the walls in this house? walking around. Just the one and then the door. Yeah. Yeah. That's not a house for kids.

No, it's not. Where shit is being thrown. It's very similar to how I grew up and it's very... Wait, this is like the fourth time you said that. I'm very confused why you're there then. It's like you grew up with it. You hate it, but you're like, yay, let's do it again. Were any of your parents abusive?

Yes. Why the fuck are you being with an abusive piece of shit? Because I thought that keeping my family together was better, and I do love him. You? Yeah, it's very hard. And I don't want to leave. Yeah, love is toxic. Love can get toxic.

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Tell, inform me on that. Educate me on what that means. I'm tired of the yelling. I'm tired of the abuse, basically. I'm tired of everything, and I just want change. Does he ever put his hands on you? No. Really?

And that was my one breaking point back in 2024, because I know the signs. What? Like him starting to put his hands on me. You said no, and now you're saying he started to. No, that I know the signs. Of someone starting to. Did he start to? Like. Did you start to?

No. What are you saying? So in 2024, when I first left, that's why I left, because it was getting to the point to where if I didn't leave, it was going to happen. What was happening? Tell me, I need to know. The yelling, the screaming, the stomping, throwing things. Well, that's the same as today. Yes. So what's different?

Why would you come back into that? I'm confused. You literally just copy and paste it exactly what's happening now. So what? I'm confused. That's when we got back together about six months later when he said that he was going to change. But that was a year and a half ago now.

Yes. If that made you leave the first time, the last year and a half, that's never across your head? It has. A lot. What pushed you out the door the first time, though, that is not there today?

Again, you're kind of copying and pasting answers, not giving me specifics. What happened to you that got you out of the house that is not existing today or within the last year and a half. I would say at that time I was working two jobs and I had money to be able to live on my own. It's a financial thing today. Thank you. That's an actual answer.

You're right. 1,700, you wouldn't be able to live on your own. Touched you with two kids. Who in y'all's life knows what's happening at this household? The roommate. Okay, yeah, the roommate. That's right. Your special roommate.

My best friend, Sarah. Okay. What a second. Sarah think? Sarah knows that it's not the best living situation. She actually no longer lives with us because of the roommate. Okay, we'll get into the roommate in a bit.

He was very excited to talk about the roommate at the beginning. Seems to be his issue when clearly I think the issue is he screams at you and throw shit. I scream at them because I got consent. Did you get consent to scream at her and throw shit? No. Okay. So...

So what's the dynamic at House right now? Do you consider yourself fiancée's? Yeah I do wear the ring that his mom had Oh my gosh Do you guys sleep in the same bed?

No, I currently sleep on the couch And why is that? It's easier because our newborn does not sleep very well That's why? Yeah, he doesn't like sleeping in his bassinet You want to sleep in the bed With someone who screams at you

On a multi-day basis Well, no, but the bed is more comfortable than the couch Hmm, hmm, okay We don't have intimacy either anymore because I sleep on the couch. I'm sure not. Well, I mean, you don't have to sleep together.

But, okay, how often we... Not at all. When was the last time? A while. Probably before the baby was even born. Once before. Does he have no pressure, do you? No.

Really? That would solely line up with this personality, but I'm glad to hear he doesn't. I know what no is. Do you? Screamer, yell, or stop or throw her holes in the walls? Yeah, it's a lot. So I sleep on the couch because of one. I mean, the baby does not sleep well at all.

He, and I know that he's working two jobs. I get it. He works a lot. I can't believe how much you're defending a guy that is actually abusive. This is crazy. It is. I mean, we all know that this is what happens, that the women in the situation will defend it,

but to witness it live and in person is blowing my mind. No shit. Probably to Sarah, right? I do. Probably to the family, the friends, the roommate. I defend him a lot with a lot of everyone. Why? Why possibly? Just because you love him doesn't mean he's a good guy. Doesn't mean he's a good parent. Doesn't mean he's a good partner. Doesn't mean your relationship is good. Doesn't mean this is healthy for your kids. Not saying you don't love him. Love can be toxic. It is a very toxic relationship. We do not communicate well because of it.

So tell me about that then. If we're going to go through this conversation, go through the finances, tell me how we're communicating at the house. Not at all. I don't like to really talk a lot about certain things. about anything at all because I know that he's going to get angry. Great. And how's that for the future of our relationship? We can't talk because he's going to get angry. Blow up, throw things, smash things. Yell.

I've tried to talk to her. And she doesn't want to talk to me. Okay. Here, buddy. You know what? We gave 26 minutes of kind of figuring her out. Give me your side of the story. Let's see if there's something.

Yeah, I just work two jobs. I'm always tired. You're also always tired because you're always tired because you're. you don't take care of yourself. Let's try to give him. Oh, well, what does that mean? I have a thyroid. What is it?

He has Hashimoto's. Yeah. He does not help. Sounds like a f***ing bite of sushi. I don't know. What is that? Tell me. It's a thyroid autoimmune disease that my body attacks my thyroid.

So I don't have energy. I don't have. That classically makes people abuse their children. Never. Go on. So what does that do? Well, he doesn't make me. Tired.

I have no energy. Okay. drink caffeine. I don't know. Caffeine doesn't do anything. Okay, but that's just the reality or situation. I don't understand how that leads to abuse. But go ahead, continue.

And let's try to not interrupt him. Give me your side of the story. Whenever, like, I do try to talk to her and ask her about certain things, she'll just, like, immediately snap and start yelling at me. She snaps? She can, yes. Tell me about that. Like, it'll just be, like, a normal question.

Like, if I'm making dinner one night and I ask her, like, what does she normally puts in the dinner? Because she normally cooks as well, but she's, a better cook than me because I didn't really cook much. So I ask her what she normally puts in it. And then I'll ask her, I'm like, hey, babe, what are you putting this? And then it's just instantly, I don't know, you do it. It's, you know what goes in it. My normal stuff.

And I'm like, and what is that, please? So I know and I don't mess it up. But you also need, like, legit step and step instructions to do anything. I just need a list of ingredients. So you scream at him, too. Every now and then. Do you scream at the kids? Um, when I'm very, very overstimulated, I can.

Uh, but that's at the point of my breaking point at nighttime. Yeah. Okay, so you're both pieces of shit. Should I just go rescue the kids? Like, what, what am I doing here? What am I doing here, guys? What can I do? Can someone inform me?

For what we need help with? No, sir. Help with! You guys need to get away from each other and your kids. A lot of my anger towards, the kids ends up being at night time when I have done everything myself. And trauma is known for being less permanent if it happens at night. What? Okay. Go on, I guess. Tell me.

So I'm with the kids 24-7. Yes, your mother and you work less. Okay? I got it. But so it comes from when everything's happening all at once and I don't have any hope. He can be sitting on the couch, watching something on his phone, reading, doing something. Well, he probably does honestly deserve a little bit more downtime. If I'm throwing away my hatred of both of you, yes, 60 hours a week, he probably needs a bit more time for recovery, especially with his medical condition. So, okay, go on. And it just gets overwhelming to the point to where it's when I'm at my absolute breaking point.

I still have to make dinner. The baby is cluster feeding and won't take the bottle. Our daughter is screaming and crying because she needs an activity. She wants something to watch on TV. She's hungry. of course, all the things. The animals still need to be fed. I'm just kidding home at 7 p.m. at nighttime

and still need to do ABCD. I haven't even had time to take off my scrubs. And everyone's clinging to me saying, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, I need this. I need that. Dinner still needs to be made. And then what happens? And then I get overstimulated and I'm tired.

And I just end up breaking down. Again, I will help you here. You have to describe what that is. You both give like the shortest version answer of everything. This is a podcast. You tell stories. Let's try it again. What happens? You break down. What is that?

I normally end up yelling. Or crying. And I... Are you yelling? Who are you yelling at? Come on, please. I'm literally yelling at literally just open air at this point. I don't really talk to anyone in particular when I'm yelling. No one's around. Because no one's around. Okay, not your kids.

And not really, no. Very, like, the only time, if I yell at the child, it's because she's literally coming up to me. And how am I trying to say this? Okay, the four-year-old autism runs up to you. Most of the time she's either beating me because she likes to come up and hit me and hit me and hit me and hit me. It's not great.

No. And that kind of throws me off. And then I normally tell her just like, stop, stop hitting me. Give me five seconds, please. And it's more like that. type of yelling other than not like in her face screaming yelling type stuff. It's me just having an annoyed type attitude towards her. If that makes sense.

Is that true? Normally when that happens, I'm at work. So I don't see any of it. Because I'm able to, I trust her when she says what you do. I don't know if I trust her when she says what she does. And I wish I could hear what actually happened. Because I mean, your own camera, everyone's going to try to make themselves sound better. He's been doing it all an episode.

So before we get into these fire answers, then, for the sake of the context of this relationship, which I can't believe I'm even going to do this for you guys, but whatever. Two years ago, you said cheating. And it sounds like you did. Yes. Tell me.

Two years ago, that was my absolute breaking point when I was to... Your favorite word. Yes, it is my favorite word. Michael was being at his most of yelling, slamming things, like being very emotionally abusive, yelling at the kids. Well, the one child. at the time.

So disgusting. I feel disgusted. I was very not in a good position and it scared me. I was honestly scared of him thinking that the next point was going to be either he was going to put hands on our daughter or me. That is totally fair. So I wanted out, but I was too afraid to tell him that I wanted out. That is fair.

So I... You'd have to kind of just leave. Yeah. So I end up one of the people that I used to know when I went back a few years. years ago, came into the restaurant that was working at the time. And at first, it was just back and forth of being friends. We kind of like reconnected that way. And then I end up telling him like everything, like what was going on personally. Because obviously, like, I'm good at kind of like masking things of how I feel in general. Most abuse victims do. But it came to the point to where

it became very apparent in my everyday life. Something was wrong. And that's when he was like, what's wrong? You need it like what's going on. And I told him everything. and he was like, you need to leave. And then we ended up just having an emotional, like, type connection again like that. And we started seeing each other. How frequently? How long was this going on? Like when were you seeing him?

How where? Because he's working all the time. You're working. And then there's kids at home. How was this happening? So we, it was at the time when I was working two jobs before he worked two jobs. Because before he refused to get a second job. When were you seeing him?

How frequently? He came into the restaurant a couple times. and then it was just talking and texting, and then we only saw each other maybe like three, four times before he found out that I was cheating and he left. I wanted to find out you gave him my phone number and he messaged me telling me that y'all had sex before. That's a bad strategy.

Yeah. Yeah. But at the same time, I was literally afraid of you. I didn't know what you would say. I didn't know what you would do. Would you give that guy his phone number? Yeah, and then he just constantly messaged me and berated me, called me. The guy?

Yeah. Saying what? Doing what? That if he'd seen me, he'd beat me up. That if it came down to it, he's coming to my location. Because he was using the person he loves. I mean, I actually kind of get that. I don't believe he loved her. He was using her.

I mean, she paid for his phone for months. Okay, that's also weird. But, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you guys sort of... Yeah. Okay. So that started maybe early mid-20204. Mm-hmm.

And then he, that's when I told him, like, you know, I was afraid to tell him anything. I was afraid of him physically, emotionally, everything. So he decided, well, why don't I tell him? And I'm like, are you sure that's even a good idea? Why do you guys even want to tell him? I'm so confused on that. I would have built the relationship and then just left and went with him.

Yeah, that could have probably also done. Well, yeah, you're in a dangerous situation. I don't understand why we're poking the bear. I really don't. But okay, so he told him, I guess. Then what happened? And then at that point, he still wanted me, he still wanted to fix things.

And this was at the point to where... Yeah, the abuser did. Shocker. And at that point, I said that I was done. I had already offered prior counseling and everything, and he didn't want to do it. So I was, I said no. And that's when him, he left the house. And we didn't get back together until about six months later.

Why did you go back? I went back because I ended up splitting with the guy that I had cheated on him with because I found that he, you know, was a narcissistic asshole. He is Lord Farquod, as we like to call him. And he cheated on her? Yes. And he's also talking to an underage girl at the time as well. Oh.

Yeah. Hit in every classic financial audit topic today. Yeah. I know how to pick him apparently. Well, you stay with him. So. So I don't understand, but that. And then she got with another one.

Huh? And I said, and then after him, she got with another. guy who ended up in jail. What the fuck is wrong with you, dude? A lot of things. What did he go to jail for? He got a DUI in my car. Oh my gosh, with your kids in the car?

No. Okay, and that was before getting back with him? Yes. But why back with him? I feel like you feel like you need to be with someone. Because that's the only reason you went back with him. That's the only reason you got with that other guy after the other dude. Shewed with you with a underage girl.

Crazy. I feel like you just need to be with someone. I think, listen, it's not bad. to be with someone, but you needing to be with someone is putting you in sketchy situations. Yeah, it really has. So. Do you abuse her?

Emotionally. I can't not say that. But I don't... That's fucking insane. I don't think I physically. I didn't say physically. I said abuse. And you're fully acknowledging right now that you abuse her.

If yelling and throwing stuff, yeah. Then I... Raise your hand if that's abuse, please. I need to make sure. Yeah. Okay, everyone agrees that it's abuse. Okay, very good. You didn't make sure I wasn't just like too sensitive or something.

Shut up, liberal. I don't know. I wasn't disagreeing. I was just... I don't know. I'm just making sure I understand. So you abuse her. Yes.

Do you abuse your child? Yes. If yelling is. Yes. And throwing shit, yes. Leave him. That is one thing that, you know, I've thought about, but

I have, but as you can see, financial, financially wise, I can not... Dude, I think his parents would let you move in. His mother would let you move in. Where's your family? Non-existent, really. But his mom already took the fucking kid one time. Move in with her.

If it comes down to it, I'll get you first month, last month, and three months of rent if you need. I own a house, though. Kick him out. The court will be on your side. He's abusive. kick him out. Get on assistance.

It is meant for people like you. That is not a bad thing. I have tried, but I guess because, like, assistant-wise, for like food stamps and that kind of stuff. But before, I guess because of where we live, they automatically put him on application because of his names on the birth certificate. Kick him out. Do it.

Kick him out. Tell them. The court will help you. You're in Maryland. You're not in some, you know? Not in Alabama. Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana. You're in a place where you will get help. Let's go through your head right now.

It sucks for sure, but I mean, I can't argue against her if she wants to kick me out. I mean, obviously I am abusive. Kick him out. That's it. That's it. It's just like, what the... What's holding you back at this point? Because I know that he will live in a tent again.

I don't care. He's an abusive person. I don't give a shit. Good. Good for him. Good for us. as a civilization. Yippee, maybe a storm will wash him away.

What? So? I would feel extremely bad knowing that he's living in a tent. No, no. Not abusers. We don't feel bad about abusers. No, no. We don't do that. Couples raise his voice at each other. That happens. It's not always the best thing, but it happens.

He did things happen in years and years of being together. Not on a multi-day week occurrence and not with kids and not with throwing things and not with holes in the wall and not with an admitted abuser. I just can't see him living in a tent again. He was living in a tent before. He'll go to a homeless shelter.

When was he living in a tent? When we first split in 2024. What? Why'd you live in a tent, freak? Because I didn't want to go live with my mom because she didn't have a house. You make, right? Get a f***ing place. You make $4,200 a month. Not at that time, no.

Okay, he does now. He wouldn't be living in a tent now. He makes good money. Right? You wouldn't live in a tent. She kicked you out, correct? I'd try to find somewhere to live there we go. Did that solve the issue? It does, but at the same, I would still feel bad for kicking him out.

I abused it. Kids? How do I, like, how do I... I'm not equipped for this conversation. How do I do that? How do, like, how do I navigate that? Definitely a hard thing to navigate. Shut the fuck up.

I don't need your perspective on that. I don't ask you. I don't give a shit what you're talking about. Fuck you. I'm, I'll put you up, dude, I will, can, we'll send you resources and I'll put a couple thousand bucks towards it. I'm happy to do that. You need to talk to someone. You feel bad?

No. Hey, who do you care about more? Your kids are him? I definitely put my children, I want to put my children first. Well, you're not. You're not. Yeah. My kids have definitely suffered a lot from this.

Tell me. I can, I mean. I mean. She's probably, she's... Look, I spent a lot of time on the show telling people to stop avoiding things they actually need to deal with. For me, I've put off making my own doctor's appointments, so apparently I also need somebody sitting across this table yelling at me. That's why this part of the video is sponsored by Zoc Doc.

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and check that appointment off your to-do list. That is Z-C-D-O-C-O-C-S. C.com slash Caleb, back to the financial chaos. Guys, you've known me since the beginning, and the fact is, I just love building products that help people, and we're continuing to do that with the Caleb Hammer Financial Services. Listen, now you got personal loans that you can get the best rates on forever you want to use it for, whether it's consolidation after you change your behavior, or you need to purchase something that gets a good return on investment. And now we got credit building as well.

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So check those out at Calebhammer.com. All those links are below in the Caleb Hammer Financial Services. Check them out. Save yourself a lot of money. I know with how he is and her seeing how that is and how quick he is to just be, fly off the handle, be angry all the time. It's not good for her. That's how she's going to start reacting. And a lot of times I can see that now.

That's how she's reacting. Like if she doesn't understand how to do something or if she's like struggling to figure out what you're trying to say or if she's trying to understand and like you can see it clicking in her brain. But she gets very irritated very easily. and she will then start to throw things, hit herself and all the things, which can come from her being possibly on the spectrum, but also watching him every single day. Every day for four years?

Yes. Besides six months that she had peace living with his mom. You need to save this kid. It's done. It's done. The decision has been made. What are you going to do? What when I get kicked out?

Find somewhere to live? Why didn't you in the last four years get help? Because now you're going to lose everything and you deserve it. I've tried therapy when I was younger and it didn't go anywhere. Try it again. I offered to do therapy before and he did not want to until it was too late. It's been too late. You're just lucky that it's hard for a spouse,

especially one that has kids with you to leave. What do you think your financial score is today? and I'm focusing on you here. A two. If you want your Hammer financial score, get it for free at Calebhammer.com. See where you stand in the world of finances. It is new and improved,

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And if you do, which most do, they end up taking the annual version because it saves nearly 50% and you get the physical version of my meal plan signed by email directly to you and the digital version of the cookbook. So let's go into this. And you brought up this room, I think.

We'll get in that in a second. I'll see if there's something there that is impactful to the situation. You guys clearly make it sound like it, but let's see. Okay. I have a loan with a payment. Oh, this must be the mortgage. Yes, that is the mortgage.

Okay. A mortgage is never on the top of my documents. When it is, that means something scary is happening. What is happening? The mortgage is currently eight months behind. Oh, my, f f-f-share. Shit. Eight months is insane. You guys do not make bad money. This is a pretty expensive mortgage payment for you specifically, but all you all together. 1,3, 2, 3.54 divided by your 5,900 a month net. It is 22% of your take home. What is the issue? What is possibly the issue?

So, this is where I believe Adam comes into play. Ah, good old Adam. He's been rumored. Buddy just took a sip of water. His whole body's breaking down. I haven't taken. Okay, Adam. Tell me about good old Adam.

He's been brewing in the background this whole episode. Adam lives with us. He's been living with us on and off and supporting him on and off for the past six years. What do you mean supporting him? He has not had a stable job since 2021. Okay. What the fuck are you putting up for? with him.

Michael normally puts up with him. You own the house. Right? Yes. So this is more of a tenant than a roommate. Yes. Why are you letting someone that doesn't have a stable job history come live with you and rent a room? Because he literally had nothing.

But even still, I mean, no offense, for what it's worth. And I'll let you tell this Adam thing. But your guys' income and this mortgage is not dependent on taking in rent. It's still 22% of your net income regardless of someone is paying rent. So how the fuck is he? making or breaking you paying your rent. It's still 22% of your pay. We do not say no to him. If he wants to go out and eat, we go get him food. Oh my gosh. If he wants something that he needs, we get it.

Why? What is your relationship with this guy? He's my best friend. Oh, great, which is why I was going to say, why does a man live there and he hasn't stepped up against an abuser? Well, that would be why. Is your best friend, like childhood best friend? Yeah. I'm going to What are we doing? What are you doing? So now you're supporting two literal children, essentially.

Essentially, yes. On top of your actual two kids. Precisely. Why are you putting up with this? I can't believe I'm even going to talk to you, but why are you, he's your friend. I have any of my friends. I would support my friends in a hard situation.

I would not let them, I would not enable them their entire life. because that is not going to be beneficial to them at all. What the fuck are you doing? What's your perspective on this and actually try to have one? I would feel bad for kicking him out because he generally doesn't have anywhere to go. He doesn't talk to his family.

He would be homeless. But because you guys have enabled him. You've allowed him to not have a job for so long. Why would he ever need to have one? To put himself back up on his feet and be able to take care of himself outside. of the house that you guys are all in right now. He works with me on my second job.

Oh, my, what, the cleaning? Yeah. But that's only what? Three, maybe two times a week? Right now, yeah, but he was working like all week with him. And you guys, but that's because he says no. Well, yeah. He doesn't want to work.

He says no? Yeah. And you will allow this. I guess since I don't stand up to him then, yeah. No shit. You'll stand up to your four-year-old, but not to another man? He did once, and then they fought. Physically.

Oh, my, what happened when? What? Last week. Thankfully, me and the kids were not home when this happened, or... Oh, wouldn't I stop them? The cops would have been called, and they both would have been out the house. Oh, that would have been nice. I wish you were home.

What happened? We were talking, and then he... About what? He was basically saying, how's it feel to not have a car that I've been dealing with for years? And I was like, it doesn't really affect me as much as you do, because I... I have a way to get to work. One of my coworkers can pick me up in the morning. Okay.

So at that point, yeah, but at that point, he was just started yelling about other stuff. And then I started yelling back. I can't really remember. And then he like rushes up to me, pushes me. I push back. And then I pick him up and throw him on the floor. How long did it go on? How intense was it?

15 seconds. Jeez. And that was just a week ago. What's the status now? He acts like nothing happened. Yeah. Like they're back to normal. I think, talking normally, as they usually do, and, like, bantering back and forth,

still being friends, brother-like, that kind of shit. Good fuck. So why would he ever improve his life? I guess there's no reason to. You're going to support him forever. I don't want to, no. I have great news. He makes good money.

Adam will go be his roommate when you kick him out. Just solved your issue. Right? No, you're not wrong. You're not lies. No, I'm not. That would 100% fix the issue. Why are you six months behind in your mortgage?

I'm very confused on that because even if you do go out to eat here and there, all this stuff and the dude doesn't work, that doesn't make sense for why we are, you said six months or nine months? Eight. Oh, good. Right in the middle. Wait, where's the foreclosure situation?

Because eight months behind us. There is no full foreclosure currently. I have a, what they are, mortgage company calls an RMA, which is a request for mortgage assistance. So I've submitted our bank statements, pay stubs, all that kind of stuff. Wait, and this isn't an Adam situation. You miss payments.

You were full late payments in early 24, mid-24, mid-24, late-24. And then you had unknown, you must have been in an assistance program in early 25. Then mid-25, you missed three in a row. Then you made two. Then you missed four in a row. And then you miss, oh, now that continues into your eight. Okay. Actually, you've paid one, two, three, four, five, six, seven mortgage payments in three years.

It's seven mortgage payments in three years. That is not an Adam thing. do have some ownership on this. I'm not going to lie. If you want a $3,000 a month payday for life, what would you feel free to do? Maybe take a long weekend, every weekend, or try a bunch of new hobbies. Would you feel free to upgrade and listen ad-free? Don't worry, we get it. Every $20 ticket could win you $3,000 a month for life and supports life-saving cancer research

at the Princess Margaret. Feel free to buy your payday for life ticket today. Raffle number R-AF-157-39-16. Please play responsibly. And it's my paycheck goes completely into our joint account that we have together. But his paycheck goes into only his account. And I do not see that money. I don't know where it goes.

None of that kind of stuff. So I can't see all of the money completely as a whole to be able to pay things. And then when I go to want to pay something, there is no money to pay for it. What happens? So you guys said you don't communicate about the finances. what have you tried to do and communication around the finances? Move both of our paychecks into the joint account,

but I haven't talked to my boss to change it. After I've asked you multiple times to change that, but it hasn't happened. Why haven't you? I always forget while I'm at work to ask our boss. You can text her. Yes, I know that, and I don't. For how long have you been requesting?

A while since we opened that joint account. Which was? When we bought that truck in, 20, 24. Good. It's been two years and he has in two and a half years. He's never going to at that case then. Two and a half years isn't, oh, I got a little busy.

It don't get busy for two and a half years. He's deliberately choosing not to, for whatever reason. Okay. You, behind on the mortgage. Why? Because we buy other things or... Why are you choosing to do that? Well, most of the...

time it's going to get food. Like, I think she did the math and we spent, like, what, two or three grand in food in a month? Between May and June, when I really wanted to sit down and go through our finances, I went through our bank statements between our joint account, which is where my check goes into in his account. Between both accounts, about

$1,900 was spent in eating out between McDonald's, Arbyes, all that other shit and... Are your kids fat? Because you're fat. I just had a baby two, like three months ago. Okay, but, I mean, you're... I think that's... I think you are the you're fat.

You know, you're not going to, yeah, pretty chubby. Fat. And the babies, the kids? No. Not the, okay. The four-year-old, no? No. Not chubby?

No. You want to see a picture? Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just don't show it to your ex. Get it? Because he was into children. Okay.

Well, I got to find a real picture that doesn't have a... I do feel that she... Over you. Yeah, no, that definitely. was a weird thing to find out about. It's kind of crazy when you're worse than a... Yeah. That should make you reconsider your life choices.

Okay. Yeah, not fat. We'll be. If you guys are eating out $2,000 a month at the McDonald's and shit? Like, what are we doing? That's the thing. We're not the ones eating it. We're not the ones eating it.

Oh, Adam? Two thousand hours of fast food went to Adam. Not all of it. Not all of it essentially, but... The majority of it went to Adam. Okay. Have you argued to kick Adam? him out.

Yeah. And what happened in that conversation? At the end of the conversation, we both realized that he has nowhere to go and we feel extremely bad if he were to live in a tent again.

Even you do? What is what this tent thing? They both lived in a tent. Hey, maybe he will figure it out it needs to because he's an adult. He's 262 as well, right? He's 27. He's 27.

I think he can figure out his life. Is he a drug addict? I mean, he's most a lot of weed. No, well, that's not like fucking like, come on. Car cord. Yeah. No, he doesn't.

No, he doesn't. So he won't be homeless out of the sake of drug addiction and schizophrenia and shit like that. He will figure his shit out and if he doesn't, he is a failure to the market. Whoopsie! His problem. There's also services and shelters and shit there. I guarantee it. Oh, no.

We have 100%. We have a lot of different opportunities. Then them choosing to live in a tent is them choosing to live in a tent. You cannot make your entire world in life's choices based on of what another? person chooses to do. Not forced to do, chooses to do. I think it comes down to me being an absolute people pleaser and

feeling, I just feel like I have to please everyone to be happy. Great. So continue having your kids abused. Good? No, not good. Okay, then what? I do not. I don't want that to happen. I want him to change. And I want to have a not broken family.

Dude, your house is worth $200,000. Your house is worth $120,000. $20,000 more than it's worth. Sell it. Pay off your debt. Start a clean new life on a budget. In date in a healthy way, instead of getting weirdos. Okay?

Maybe move to a better place. Pay off debt, have a fully funded emergency fund. Use it to get yourself in a better career position. I'll get you a course career certification. Congratulations. Woo, yippee. People in the audience, fuck you, you're not getting one.

People in the audience have used it to, you know, get six figure jobs, trade, tech, whatever you want. it's an incredible platform and product but I mean this you can get a cash offer from Zillow in three minutes and they're valuing it at 300,000 like even if they give you 280

you walk away with 100 and that's probably before it's actually like we've done some renovations to the house but yeah that's probably not going to do much this is but even still even still and plus a house like that I don't know

weeds being grown in the backyard yeah By who? Adam. What are we going to do if we get caught? That's a CPS phone call, right? Yeah. Is it illegal?

What are you, a cop? Yes. Apparently in Maryland. Two plants per person. And there's only six plants? I don't know. Yeah. I haven't wanted to look back there.

Some of them are probably died by now. Okay. Hmm. Is anyone ever called CPS on you guys? No, but I think when our first daughter was taken by his mother, his aunt had to physically take the baby back away from his mother to be able to give her back to us because we think... Why his aunt do that?

Because it was, he said, she said, rumor that his mom wanted grandparents' rights. Good! I'm sorry, you're a horrible, objectively horrible dad. You are a bad mom because you won't get the kids out of the house or him. out of the house from the kids. You're not as bad as he is a dad. But you not getting them away or him away

is being a bad mom. Because you're just wanting your kids to do it and be there. And also, I mean, you're very behind-in-a-mortgage as well. So maybe they should have had grandparent rights. But if the mom was willing to do that, will the mom not take you in?

I don't know. Call her. Right now? Mm-hmm. She might be working. I'm not sure. But I'll be. But let's see. Friday.

I think she is. Hold on. Right in your area is, 2,400. You guys are in a very blessed position. Sell the house, get the fuck away from him. Move on. Pay off the debt. Fully funded emergency fund.

Where's the last time I talked to her? Well, you can just type in her name. She has two numbers in my phone. I had to delete the one. So it was more like you stole the baby back then, in a way. Yes. You worked with the aunt to do it. Yeah.

That's not a good thing. Why did the mom not call CPS? See if she answers. If not, Hey, how are you? Good. I am a friend. I'm sitting down with your son and her.

And I'm just kind of going over some things. They really wanted some advice. And you've come up multiple times in this conversation. And I just kind of wanted to talk to you. They're both here. Say hi. Hi. Hey.

So that you know they're both here. Who are you? My name's Caleb. They just came to me for advice in a private setting. It's actually not that private anymore, though. But either way, whatever, it doesn't matter. The thing is, I know you had the kid for a bit, and they unfortunately took the kid back.

I think you should have the kid. This man scares me around the kid. Based on everything he's admitted to me. He told me he's verbally abusive and emotionally abusive. He told me that. She's not even saying that. If things get too dangerous, is she allowed to take the kids and live with you.

That was my one question. It's not about your first question was for me to take the child back, which is fine. But I need more, like, there needs to be more information. Like, I've already discussed with them before about situations. And so my question is, is if you're asking me to take one, what about the other? and like what what's the plan? Like what are we doing? And are we going to get help at this point in time?

Like now we have somebody else involved in this. And I know that I'm your mother. I know your mom isn't in the picture and I'm like a mom to you. And I know that's hard for you to probably even think about like, well, that's mom. Like how can she stand up for me? But I've told you time and time again that I would be next to you. And so in saying that it's very hard. It's like both of y'all are much.

children in a sense, and I want the best for both of y'all, but y'all both need help. You both need to get into some sort of counseling and have a support system. Do you all hear me? Yes, we hear you. And I'm sort of disappointed that y'all even did this show and you never even said anything. Like if you want me, and I've told you this time and time again, I've walked the road that y'all are in. I was a single mom in the military with nothing scraping by. And I turned life around and I made different choices and I did different things in life

and that you guys can always come to me and instead you constantly keep me in the dark. But then want to call me in an emergency, which is fine. I'm always going to be here, but we've got to do better, guys. Like, this is so out of the blue. So if you're in Texas, who has the children?

My friend has her, has both of them. You know, y'all, this is. almost feels like a joke because seriously, I feel so left out in the dark. It's not even funny right now. I apologize. It's not a joke. I actually really just wanted to know if she ever needed to, if she could live with you. I've already told her this. I've already told her this. I've told both of them. At one point in time, it was with me because they had to split up. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, they told you about that. And it's also, you have to get your crack together because if not, you're, you're going to lose your whole entire family. Do you want that?

No, not really. I'm sure you don't. Getting a hold of me. So if I can answer the phone, I will step away and talk to you all. But if not, like seriously, I'm hoping I'll be done by eight tonight. So either way, all right? Thank you. Bye.

I love y'all. Bye. I love you too. I love you too. Hard to navigate that conversation. It's always hard to tell people like, oh, you're on financial audit. So I should have just said you're on financial audit. So I apologize for that when you're watching back.

But at least she knew by the end when you told her. Yeah, sounds like a sweet person. and by the way, thank you to your service, and it sounds like she was incredible mom's like she's done so many good things. You mean on the spectrum is that an excuse for abuse. I've never made an excuse. I know.

She kind of was. I don't like this. Go live with her. Get rid of this piece of shit. Sell your house. You can't afford that. You've paid me seven payments. Seven payments are two and a half years.

What are you doing? Okay. Seven. Don't give a shit about Adam. He doesn't. It sounds like he needs to come on this show. And we can deal with that, but he needs to get a shit together. Your kids' lives are not put below his.

Eh? Yeah? No, you're right. Okay. Oh, I've never actually seen a literal page with repossessed on it. I already launched Liquid Assets, My Official GamerSups Flavor, Raspberry Apple. And it's been selling like crazy. Here's the update.

The free gift stacking promo from Christmas in July has, It's officially sold out, but the flavor hasn't. Zero sugar, under one calorie, 100 servings a tub, same new tropic blend, same full vitamin stack, still just four scoops a day max. Code Caleb still gets you 10% off your entire order. And there's still a shot. One out of every 10 that your tub comes with my face on it. All you need to do is head to GamerSubs.g.g.

Or click the link in the description below. I just launched the brand new Hammer Elite app available on every major platform. So you can watch every show anywhere you want. You'll get three exclusive dedicated shows every single day, Monday through Saturday. Refer a friend after you sign up and you get an additional 30 days of Hammer Elite access for free. Download the Hammer Elite app by using the link in the description or pin comment down below. This is the best membership you'll ever join, and that's a promise. This has never happened before.

What is this? That is my car that I got in 2024. That was the one transportation. argument that they had when they were fighting. Anyways, that car was repossessed last week. Last week? Yeah. What are we doing?

I had called the bank, that bank. You guys make money. You literally together, you guys make money. We have no... None of this makes no sense. It doesn't. We have zero excuse for our finances at all. Zero, no excuse whatsoever of why we're in this position that we're in.

So what do you drive now? A 2000 Honda Accord. You already had it? Yes. Why did you have this car then? That was the car that I bought because I bought that when we split because I totaled my Honda. What were the payments? 962.

Oh! It's another mortgage payment. What were you fucking making when you split with him? I was making 52 a year at my one job and then another... Go get those jobs back. It was a very toxic job. I don't care. What's more toxic?

The guy yelling at your fucking kids or the fucking job? This is true. Oh, yeah, it is. I was working from home with that job, so I didn't have to pay for child care. I was making 50. And it was toxic? It was from home. Log off.

I was making about 52,000. How was it toxic? My boss wasn't the very friendly. How? You keep saying, I'm glad you say things. Now, try to actually explain them. So I was an HR executive assistant. So what I did was I helped with the hiring process.

I helped with all that kind of stuff. And it was mainly a lot of nepotism in a job, a lot of narcissism. Okay, how were they toxic? It was a lot of back and forth between who he said, she said, doing things. And what, what, you're remote? Tell me. Are you okay really? Just burping.

Okay. It was a lot. Like, I don't know. What? It was a while ago at this point. I quit in 2020. You're telling me it's toxic. You need to back that up.

You need to back that shit up. What was talking? I was told that, you know, I didn't do a lot of things, but a lot of my work... If you didn't. A lot of my work got taken from me for another position. Wow. So you got paid for doing less? Yes.

But they tracked us on everything that we did. And because I didn't have enough to fill my day... Were they threatening you with firing? If I didn't pick up my productivity, but then I would come back and say, I don't have an... Go get that job back. Or go get a job similar. What the fuck? You make no money right now.

And you just got your car repossessed. And you're... You made seven mortgage payments in two and a half years. Go get a job, dude. What are you doing? So what's the balance that's going to be left on this? Or is this that now? Oh, you were past two, $4,811.

Yes. What the fuck is possibly wrong with you? Oh, yeah, that's your payment, dude. Shit. Yeah, it was $31,876 for something that makes $1,700 a month. Oh, bo! Okay, is private market... Did we get the value this car?

because it's going to be that my as likely the value of the car is what you're still going to owe it's going to be in your fucking credit it was going to get you in a predatory loans and all the shit what was the interest rate on this i think 20 something i don't like when you speak sorry without being spoken to 20 something's crazy yeah it was really bad geez you put yourself in a worse situation when you left him i did and i only got that car because i totaled my other vehicle because i fell asleep driving wall it's worth 9000 dollars you old 31,000 aren't It's only worth $9,000. Are you sure that's the car? Is that the right car? Is that the right VIN? Do we have the right thing? Because that's insane.

That might be what his truck's worth. Okay, okay, okay. Because I wouldn't be surprised if you're bouncing up anyway from all the fees and all the shit. Oh my gosh, that's a back payment. Oh, I can't believe you let it get to repossession territory. I tried calling them multiple times to kind of like work out a prepayment plan. Repayment plan?

A repayment plan? Or like, kind of like... It's added on in the back. They only do that so many times. It would have only... I paid it back up at one point and then it got this bad again. It's like your mortgage. Yes.

And then when it finally got repoed, I had called them and I said, hey, this is what's going on. Are we able to do something? And they said no. And they wanted about like $8,200. Oh, that's what you owed. Yeah. Up front to take the car out and get it back.

That's what you f***ed out. Yeah. But they did not expect... They did not want any type of payment plan to even get it back. Oh, yeah. Because that's what you owed. You're, I'm not.

I was not surprised. What's what I was not surprised? What's what I'm talking about? Well, I don't know what it's going to be owed. You're probably going to owe maybe like half. Who knows? You're still going to have to pay that. Who knows?

Maybe they'll come sue you for it and they'll garnish your wages. That's the last statement, I think, of the same car. And here's your checking account. You started with $5 and ended with negative $168. Shit. What are we doing? I need you to be independent. You're nowhere close to that.

You're going to be trapped in the situation with this piece of shit forever. Now you're $163.98. I mean, you're getting like energy drinks or something. Energy drinks, I don't know. You step at the market and you get that $2.66 thing. So the thing about that is that is the joint account. So my card for that joint account does not work. It's only on his card that works.

And he has the card to that. This is all his spending? Yes. You do not get free gamer subs Go fuck yourself But for everyone else out there Get gamers subs It's 40 cents to serving with my discount code

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Seriously I will not put like all the blame on him because I do have his version of the drink card. Of course not, because you do spend money and you are not going to be independent. I need you to be independent out of safety. Bullshit. Bullshit. Prime video.

Overdraft. Protect. Fuck me. You'll see a lot of those on there. Oh, bullshit. McDonald's would draw cash, chick fillet overdraft. Overdrafting? For chick fillet is what we're doing.

But you can't even get out of the house. from a man that is next the borderline beating you. Interesting strategy. Can't say I've done it myself. $5 in his checking to go. It's a joint goes back and forth, I guess. He's paying for Snapchat. I don't even care if he's shooting.

Who even knows? That's just me restoring streaks with one of my friends. You've only cheated once? Yeah. I'm surprised. Honestly, you're the first person ever. I'd say go cheat as many times as you want. Go take that dick.

Just wear a condom. How do you feel about the cheating? I don't care. Okay. No, how do you feel about it? It hurt me, of course, but I mean... Yeah, that's why I just... Unfortunately, it hurts you enough to hurt you, but you haven't changed yet.

So there's that. Like four years of nothing, man, I don't get that. We all make mistakes. I'm willing to forgive almost anyone's passed on anything if they grows a human, because that's just life. And not everything's Twitter and TikTok where, hold them accountable from five years ago. Yeah, I said a rude thing online.

cancel cancel. No, people grow. Whatever. That's what the normal person thinks, okay? Yeah. You're not growing. You refuse to see therapy. Well, yeah.

Well, you denied when she said, let's get therapy. Yeah, and then a couple months later, I asked her if she wanted to go therapy because I realized that my choice was wrong. What happened? Like I did with her, she ignored me and basically said that. Why? Because I was at that point where it was. I don't think that he cared at all. And even when he said that he wanted to do therapy,

one of his favorite lines is when he's yelling or when we're arguing is that he doesn't care. So that's always in the back of my mind. Well done. You don't care? I say that when I get angry, but I do care. Again, there is nothing wrong with getting angry in a relationship and even raising voices here and there.

I mean, I'm not saying that's a good thing. But you'll find that in basically every relationship ever that has existed. screaming, throwing things at children, at this stuff, throwing things, banging things around, making holes in the wall. That is not okay. She also never really apologized for cheating on me. So? Good. She did it because you were abusive.

Then she came back and you're still abusive. I don't give a shit. Go fuck yourself. Do you apologize after every time you scream at the kid? No. And why do I give a shit that she hasn't apologized? She admitted in this conversation She's only here

Because she can't get away from you financially, right? You know, she literally said that in this conversation Yeah Why the fuck would she apologize? Why do you expect an apology? I don't know. Huh. Why haven't you apologized?

In my own way, I have not apologized either That being said, but I am sorry that I did cheat on him But this, but... Why? Because I should have done it the right way. I should have... I can agree with it. that. I should have did it the right way. I'm not

100% take blame for that. But at the same time, I was not in a very good spot mentally wise, and I was afraid, so I thought it was the better way out. Now, would you still be with the second guy? No. No.

If he didn't get a DUI instead of him. Probably not, no. Not very confident on that one. McDonald's, Energy Drink, PlayStation, a would drop, but put a place to $20. United Distribute. Who the $2.40.

Probably some bullshit. Venet machine maybe. McDonald's bullshit. Snapchat again. He's getting Snapchat a lot. What the fuck you paying for on Snapchat? A little freak. My streets run out with my friends

that are like over a thousand. So I just pre-activating. Yeah. Maybe you should go live with them. I mean, I can show you if you want. Maybe just go live with them. Chick-fil-A, Arbys, checkers. Smoking some vapes.

Getting some energy drinks. Checkers, Snapchat again. Crazy. Energy drink, energy drink, Chick-fil-A, Domino's, Fablattics, Chick-fil-A, Exchange, Exchange, Exchange, McDonald's, Energy Drink, Energy Drink, Snapchat, Energy Drink, Energy Drink,

Energy Drink, Energy Drink, McDonald's, Energy Drink, Chick-filet, McDonald's, Amazon, Energy Drink. Oh, McDonald's, PlayStation. Bullshit, ATM, ATM-M-A-Raw, Usage fee. Bullshit.

Chick-fil-A. Another Vennem machine. Bullshit. Energy drink. McDonald's. Arbys. What is that? A Vennem machine?

Who know? Boul-sha. Bolesh. Bolesh. Balsh! Chikfilet. Snapchat again. Web.

Tint. Would you even care if he'd cheated on you right now? I mean, it would hurt me just because I know. You guys are cooked. Bullshit. Energy drink. Snapchat.

Bullshit. Handy games. What even is that? I don't even know, to be honest. You're the only one that does the game. Yeah, I know, but that doesn't ring a bell with me. Energy drink, energy drink. Amazon.

Amazon. Energy drink, energy drink, energy drink, energy drink, energy drink. Chick-fil-A, prime video and, uh, bullshit or something. I don't know. Energy drink, energy drink, energy drink. Premium McDonald's, energy drink, tobacco. Oh, if it isn't, uh, you know, uh, uh, Like seven overdraft fees.

Oh, there you go. That's hot. Why did you get with him in the first place? How the fuck did you fall in love with this? In high school, right? Yeah, it was high school. How? What the fuck is it?

Small town? Yeah, we do live in a small town. We met in while we were in orchestra. And we had a lot of... What did you guys play? I played the violin and he played the bass. Okay. What did you see in him?

We did a lot of after-school stuff when it came to orchestra and stuff like that and because we lived in a small town it was only like a certain amount of us so it was a very small fishing pool fishing pool, no, I don't know Well you're buying in a truck I'm glad you're paying for Snapchat but not your truck

$382 a month and 42 cents with a balance $4,721.95 Oh, total payment due because you're past due to two payments you owe $1,147. Why are you behind you? you make good money, and this is an interest rate below 3%. I'd want to keep this.

What the fuck is wrong with you? Go live in it. I just haven't paid it because we're paying either other bills or... What other bills? No, you're not. You're actually not paying your other bills. Our electric and our Wi-Fi. And how much is that? The electric's like...

Well, this past month was like $700. You make $6,000. It goes back to literally all of those little eating out and everything. The majority of the eating out and the vaping, neither one of us smoke. We buy it for Adam. Adam's done.

Yeah. Adam's out. If for some reason you guys stay together, which no, please do not. Adam's gone tomorrow. No, give him a month. A month to get his life together. He has a full month. He has fair warning. And if he chooses a tent,

that's on him. Or do you just want to live with your best friend? He's choosing his best friend over you and your kids, by the way. It has very felt like that. No, it's not feeling he is. Like, he is. Like, every action is showing that is true. Okay.

Yeah, it makes me want to cry. No. Leave. Pass to do on something that is valued even a little more than you f***-oh. Capital One, it's closed. Is it in collections, 3,786? Yes. Hmm, okay. Why'd that go to collections? Again, you guys make money.

So a lot of my debt was my mom. What? She would use my stuff and she racked up some bills. And she always said that she would pay them and has not. Jeez. And how long did it take you to learn that lesson? A while. Have you learned that lesson? Yes.

Good. Don't never give other people your debt. Okay? Yeah. Okay. Did you guys forget you were in a podcast? 4,9606. I don't know that it discovered. Did she racked this up to? Yes. That is currently garnishing my paycheck. Yeah. Consequences of your actions. Who keeps farting? Not me. Not me.

I know fat people farts when I smile them. I'm not farting. I'm not farted. I mean, I would tell you if I did, but I haven't. Would you even know? Dude, you've been expunging this whole episode. Well, okay, one of you just is just a stinky individual. Verizon. Well, the garnishment in your wages makes sense why your wage is so small before it hits your account.

$2,66. Is that garnishing? No. Same collections, Verizon. You just didn't pay it. And the Verizon, that's from, like, the guy that you cheated on him with, right? Correct.

Yeah. Because he reviews, though, help pay for the bill. Yeah, you just, you pick the winners. Another collection, 860. $73. Okay. I guess it was Dell? We bank Dell?

So you had like a Dell financing? Yeah. What is this? Insurance paid. So you owed medical 1,807? Yes. Have you gotten on a payment plan?

They'll do very small, typically. Not yet. That is from our recent, maybe. Okay, I would call and do that. Okay, retirement 155. Who's that?

Mine. And you have nothing? Yes. I don't have. I'm not going to get the fuck about you. I'm not doing anything regarding you. Here's what to do. step by step, and I will do a budget, but step by step, you kick him out, you put the house up for sale, you kick out, out. You learn to budget, because when you sell the house, you will pay off your debts, have a fully funded emergency fund, and focus on your career. While you kick him out, while you sell him, while you learn how to budget, while you build up your emergency fund, you are living with his mother.

You are taking care of the kids in the first peaceful household, in their first peaceful household, in their live in the history of their life. Yippie. Maybe you do that for a year, maybe two years. You build up your skills, your certifications, whatever you can do. You hunt for a career. You get a good career. Then you can move out and you have a place for you and your kids. You start dating someone.

The only way he ever gets back in is with years of therapy and showing and proving that he is changed and has coping mechanisms and is medicating and everything. Other than that, he's never even coming close to the kids. Unless it's court mandated. and then you find a man through dating. Okay? That's how this works. Your rent will be zero living with her.

Your food will most likely be zero, but I'll have you contribute $500 towards it. I'll have you contribute $300 towards TP fund. Your medical health care, you'll get on Medicaid, you'll get on assistance, you'll do what you need to do. Child tax credits will help you. What will your phone bill be? What is it?

My phone is paid by my dad. Well, what the f- I thought they weren't in the picture. your debt payments, you will have maybe like 50 bucks for the medical, but that's pretty much it. Don't give a fuck about his truck. You'll have car

insurance. Let's just assume it's like the worst. They're like pretty bad. Not mid, $250. You might have to get a car loan. Let's say you have a car payment of $500. You'll get a $10,000 car, not a $30,000 car. Then you'll put, maybe you actually do a cash car. That was my current plan. You'll do a cash car from selling a of the house, but only still

10,000 hours, multiple mechanics approved. Medical healthcare, let's put an extra $200 there. Let's do $100 for subscriptions. How many pets are you going to take with you? Got a prioritized the kid over the pets. It's a sad day, but it's a real day. I do know at least six of the cat.

They need to go. How many will you take with you? Probably two. Okay. $100 pet insurance, $100 to take care of the pets. Once you learn how to use this budget, then you can have access to the funds of selling the house, then you can pay off your debts, then you can set the rest aside for an emergency fund

and catching up on retirement for anything that is left over. But you'll be budgeting off of $600 a month, which you can even do today, barely. If you prove you can do it, I will allow you to sell the house. But other than that, kick him out, you're done, okay? It's... It's... It's... Okay?

It's... It is very much. I am going to call Adam in the Puff Show. I am so fucking done with this dude. Let's get your hammer financial score. Leave him immediately. Oh, and Lindsay and Brandon are going to absolutely ruin your life in a few minutes. Let me tell you they're going to cook you to death, especially since they have more information than I even have because I go blind, but they know everything.

Spending it about, guys, your hammered finance. Well, no, there is real estate. Retirement's one. Spending a budget, debt, emergency fund, that's all zero. Real estate is actually fine. You're just behind. So that brings it down to your math. genetically give you a three out of ten just the best there and financial score get you updated one at caledhammer

dot com yours is a one out of ten now join us for the post show i'm going to destroy adam and they are going to destroy them with even more information they have three premium shows every single day six days a week best membership on youtube best network by far so check it out join with the join link or the join button down below or you can download the hammerlead app or hammerlead.com see you there okay call them you have been carried by these two individuals It is time to grow up, develop some skills, build a resume, get a job, and get the f*** out of their house and pay your own f*** bills. Your friend is kicked out because he's abusive. And you're kicked out because you're a loser.

I just launched the brand new Hammer Elite app available on every major platform. So you can watch every show anywhere you want. You'll get three exclusive dedicated shows every single day, Monday through Saturday. Refer a friend after you sign up and you get an addition. 30 days of Hammer Elite access for free. Download the Hammer Elite app by using the link in the description or pin comment down below. This is the best membership you'll ever join, and that's a promise. I want you to be on the next episode of Financial Audit right here in Austin, Texas.

If you think you have interesting finances with an interesting personality or a story or a life or relationship, I will personally pay you to take time off of work, fly you down to Austin, get you personal transportation, a hotel, food, and we'll have a great time hanging out. Go to Calebhammer.com slash apply or click that link in the description below. Don't you wish you could just hit skip on the worst parts of your life? You know the same way you can skip an ad? I get it. I'm Siyaya and I live in Ice Cove.

I've made some questionable decisions that didn't end up the way I planned. And today I'm still figuring it out. Somehow things usually get worse before they get better. Apparently, that's how I roll. So bundle up and come along for the bumpy ride. Stream a new episode of North of North Tuesdays on CBC Gem.