Financial Audit - The $770,000 Boob Job | Financial Audit

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Starting point is 00:01:04 You blew your emergency fund on... Plastic surgery. You blew your emergency fund on all this fake bodily shit, and now you can't pay your mortgage and you're four months behind. Yes. And your Airbnb is literally losing money and you want to get more Airbnb's? Yeah. What?

Starting point is 00:01:18 Yeah. How does that logic make sense? Please. It just does it. Tell me. It's all going to work out. What is one thing you've done well? Try.

Starting point is 00:01:26 No, your trying has been horrible. You have failed everything you've tried. But at least I did it. No, you haven't. You're failing. I don't give a ship. At least I have that life experience. Hammer Elite is the best YouTube membership on the platform, and I just upgraded it. Get access to exclusive shows every single day Monday through Saturday. And for the rest of the month, I am paying for you to sign up.

Starting point is 00:01:48 Sign up for Hammer Elite in the description or pin comment below and submit proof of purchase athammerelite.com. After that, I'll send you a $10 digital gift card that can be spent basically anywhere and in most countries. This is the best membership you'll ever join. That's a promise. Hi, everyone. I'm Veronica. I'm 37 and I live in Austin, Texas. And this?

Starting point is 00:02:10 This is the financial audit. The, it sure is. And I appreciate you coming into the studio. It's a rare that we get a local Austinite these days because we pull in from across the country. So I kind of, you know, obviously know the economic situation of this city better than any other city for sure.

Starting point is 00:02:28 What do you do here for a living? I work in tech, and then I'm also a co-host, yeah. Co-hosts, a little podcast. No, Airbnb. Co-host? Yeah, co-host. You co-host? You co-host.

Starting point is 00:02:43 It's a term that Airbnb uses. Okay, but in real terms that real people use, what's a co-host? An owner of a house? No, you manage other people's homes for Airbnb. Okay, so you manage other people's homes. So people buy a house. They want to rent those houses on the short-term market. Yep.

Starting point is 00:03:04 And they hired you to do that? They did. They did. You're essentially a rental property manager, but on the short-term leasing. Yep, you got it. That makes sense. Okay. Tech, what do you do in tech?

Starting point is 00:03:16 I work for Airbnb at the moment. Well, okay, well, that makes sense. I guess you're kind of fully in that niche. What's your position? I'm a program manager. Cool. What do you make? What do I make?

Starting point is 00:03:27 I bring in 3,300 a week. Oh, okay. Thank you. Yeah. Please tell me that's not. Yeah, let's take home in a bank. Okay, a week, that's wonderful. I was very scared when I heard that number.

Starting point is 00:03:39 I thought you're going to say a month. Listen, Austin's a great place for tech. Tech has slowed down in the country, so I would always be a little nervous. Especially, honestly, Airbnb would even make me more nervous in general because I don't think their stock's been doing too well. I'll have to confirm that. That's fair.

Starting point is 00:03:56 screen, but not only that, but if there is an economic downturn, I don't know if we'll go into a full down term, but we're definitely in a slowdown for sure. People cut back on travel. That is often short-term living because, you know, people still got to live in rentals, but not short-term rentals. So, uh-oh, there, plus tech layoffs, plus potential automation with AI. We're seeing, we're not necessarily seeing the extremes of that that many people are hyping up. More than anything, we're just seeing a tech slowdown and readjustment. And then overall correction in the labor market from the overhiring we saw in the best employment market in the history of the United States a few years ago, I'd be a little nervous in your position.

Starting point is 00:04:33 That's fair. I wouldn't be afraid, but I would be preparing for the overall trend that we are seeing. And especially if you're doubling up with the, uh-oh, that's not the best market for short-term rentals. And uh-oh, we're also in tech where it's not the best market for tech. Uh-huh. Oh. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:04:50 I'd be a little nervous. Fair. Yeah. I mean, the past month alone, Airbnb at the time of this film is down 10%. the stock down 10% one month 10%. That's actually crazy. Hold on. Hold the fucking hold

Starting point is 00:05:03 hold the wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold it, okay. Well, I don't want you to hold it. While you look that up. Not the dick. Okay. Yeah, the S&B 500 is down 1.3% last month. It's down 10%. What the

Starting point is 00:05:22 Let's see. Year to date. Down 12.8%. Max? Not a great trend line. I'll just say that. Says publicly listed down 18%. Okay. Listen, I don't want you to be afraid,

Starting point is 00:05:35 but listen, you're coming on financial audit. Yeah. When you're coming on financial audit, usually your finances are... Somehow your finances are when you're bringing in a shit ton of fucking money in a city where the cost of living is actually gone down because we have policies that encourage building instead of performative virtually seemingly policies like rank control.

Starting point is 00:05:52 That doesn't work. So, we have one of the rare cities in the country where costs have gone down, your income has gone substantially up, yet you have nothing to show for it other than a paperwork stack of death and you, when you are probably in one of the most risky tech positions

Starting point is 00:06:08 out of almost anyone. Come on, where else? Where else? Okay, maybe like match group. Yeah, fair, but like... Because those have completely... A, I can't take a PGM job. I... Dude, highly doubt it.

Starting point is 00:06:20 It probably would take my job in 10 years. Yeah, who knows. Fair. Who even knows at this point. That's why I need your help right now. But I'm not even talking about AI. The fear of AI replacing jobs right now is over amplified because we're seeing the rise of AI at the same time

Starting point is 00:06:33 when the job market is probably correcting for the overhiring we saw a few years ago in tech. So I'm not even saying AI. I'm saying the tech job market is f*** and you're in an industry that is also... That's what I'm afraid of. Can I speak on the Austin market specifically or no? Like what everyone's hanging on to?

Starting point is 00:06:51 Yeah, like what we're hanging on to is that there's going to be a licensing change in July. So basically there's 13,000 plus unlicensed Airbnbs in Austin. This is for your second job. Yeah. Well, it all kind of plays together, right? To a certain extent. I don't think the Austin market itself will save the entire company of Airbnb.

Starting point is 00:07:06 No, no. But yeah, for the second job, right, for how I subsidize my life. And so there's really... Why in the world would you need to be subsidizing making $150,000 a year? Need to subsidize on top of that? Yeah. You make good fucking, what was it? 3,200 net a week?

Starting point is 00:07:21 3,300. 3,000. Okay, 3300 times 50,000. Okay, that is net $171,600 a year. That is net $14,300. So what are you making? Like $2.25? Yeah, right there.

Starting point is 00:07:36 And you have to subsidize yourself? Why are you so broken? I mean, that's what I'm here for. Yeah, it's what you're here for. But why do you think you're broken? Because there needs to be some level of self-assessment here for me to kind of understand where at least you think because then I can't help someone I don't know where their brain's at. So why do you think you're...

Starting point is 00:07:55 Well, currently, the house is too fucking expensive. What? My house. You have a... Okay, so this isn't the co-whatever thing you're doing. It's a house that I own. Okay, you own your house? Yes.

Starting point is 00:08:07 Why did you buy a house to live in that you can't afford? Tell me about it. No, how about you tell me the answer? Well, it was kind of twofold. If we were talking on the career side, I was like a short-term rental, like, influencer here. right? So I would educate people on how to own short-term rentals. So that was the first time. How many followers did you have? We had a group of over 1,200. It was a person and I who ran it together, and I would give monthly talks about how successful STRs could be. And so I had to do it on my-

Starting point is 00:08:38 And how many followers did you have influencer? There was, there was 1,200 in the group. It's a Facebook group. So probably active out of that 500, but we would pull a crowd of 100 once a month. I think that's pretty great. I was a realtor. No. That's great. No. Okay, fair. but I was a realtor. Sorry. I'm not trying shit on you, but I'm not going to allow you

Starting point is 00:08:57 let you sit there and, you know, throw balloons and poppers or whatever. Yeah. Like, okay. Yeah. Yippee. Okay, so I don't understand how that plays into it.

Starting point is 00:09:11 How does it play into it? In what sense? Okay, you were a micro influencer and heavy focus on the word micro. Yeah. Obviously, not you. You're like, eight foot tall, but you're influencing.

Starting point is 00:09:23 How does that play into how you? you f*** this. Because it can't just be your mortgage as well, because this is, this is fat. This is a lot. I mean, I'm an Airbnb owner and I'm,

Starting point is 00:09:34 I'm, basically. Wait, you're an Airbnb owner now. Yeah. Wait, what, okay,

Starting point is 00:09:38 hold on, you said you're a co-host, now you're saying you're an owner. Are you talking about the house you bought for yourself? Yes, exactly. And now you're Airbnb in it? And a market that is not great.

Starting point is 00:09:48 Wait, you, you manage three. Mm-hmm. You manage three of other people's homes. Yep. Got it. Let's start

Starting point is 00:09:54 With that on the income side, what do you make from that? The subsidizing your lifestyle of what you already make a quarter million dollars a year. Not much. Those three homes bring in max $18,000 a year. Yeah, what's normal? For a monthly thing, what's normal? Normal, I'd say $1,500. That's the average. Not a lot.

Starting point is 00:10:11 About $1,200. Yeah. And are you your own business with that? Yes. $1,250. Are you sending aside money for taxes? No. Again, why are you broken?

Starting point is 00:10:23 No one has taught me. Ambition comes in all shapes and sizes. At First Citizens Bank, we roll with your goals because we're built for what you're building. Fit for your ambition for Citizens Bank. No one taught you. Well, what about when the government's like you owe taxes? Is that not teaching you? Because is this your first year doing it?

Starting point is 00:10:50 No. How many years have you been doing it? Quite a few. So fuck you teaching you, the tax bill can. do and then you taught yourself because that's how it works. Yeah. What do you mean no one taught you? Have you not paid your taxes?

Starting point is 00:11:04 I paid my W-2 taxes, right? My personal taxes. Okay. And I just got an Airbnb link. Is this for her own house? Okay. What do you make with that? You said you can't afford your house.

Starting point is 00:11:17 Exactly. So back in May, I finally moved out because I was unemployed. Hey, no offense. Who the fuck is renting this? You don't like it? I don't understand why. someone would be renting this when there's substantially just better houses in Austin. Fair, okay.

Starting point is 00:11:34 So in an area. Hey, it's 12 minutes. It's close. It's close to downtown, all right? And it's got a pool. Close is a hard close. You're close to the airport, which I guess is nice. But that's also not considered a nice area.

Starting point is 00:11:51 Listen, as far as I understand, I believe our post show for this episode, ladies and gentlemen, will be at the house. We are going to review the house. And that'll be fun. Really? And that's what the post show will be. So be prepared for that. Click that join button to join us there.

Starting point is 00:12:06 A wingstop box has been sitting there. Don't ask me how I know that it's a wing stop box. Oh, and the fully filled gutters. And the rotting pumpkin. Oh, because you don't live here. No. I'm spending all the time watering these plants. I have someone come and do it and I pay $100 a month.

Starting point is 00:12:18 You budget that in. I sure do. You spend money on that. No back neighbors. No black neighbors. Okay. Okay. So what are you talking about that this house fucked you?

Starting point is 00:12:31 How does this house fuck you? Well, I mean, the mortgage each month is very expensive. And then... You have an incredible income. And that does not look like that crazy. Okay. Okay. I have been your address.

Starting point is 00:12:44 Let's take a look. I feel like you've tried to go boss too hard. Yeah. I feel like you've tried to girl boss too hard. And you've unfortunately become... like a fucking dumb tit. Dude, it's a $600,000 in our house. I'm not saying that it's a cheap house,

Starting point is 00:13:03 but with your income, I don't see... What are you talking about? What's your mortgage payment? $5,332, like $5,300. And I had a subsidy in the beginning. You're in that 33%. It's all a lie. It costs more than that when you have everything together.

Starting point is 00:13:19 It's like you have the electric, the pool cleaner. No shit, you moron. But your actual mortgage is in that threat. that people that we recommend for affordability, 33%. And that's your net pay. That's not even your gross pay. Gross pay, about 30%. Which honestly, most people can't even do.

Starting point is 00:13:35 Most people get closer to 40%. So you're in a blessed position where this is almost 30% of your net pay. And you're saying you can't complain about that? Cry and die. Fuck you. People are out there not being able to do shit. F*** you. How are you struggling with that?

Starting point is 00:13:52 I don't know. My set of expenses come to $11,000, $12,000. month, you know? Does that really make sense? What did you put down? Because right now it's estimated that 20% down is about a $3,2010 payment. Definitely didn't put that down. Did not. No, no, no. Put what down? Oh, 20? Yeah, so I'm a realtor, right? So I got that 3% commission. Okay. She's everything. What have you know? Are you a feroista? Are you a tech entrepreneur? Have you created an app or what have you not done? Are you AI? I just haven't ever not been broke. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:14:25 Yeah, I'd be cope giggling to survive as well. All right. Yeah. So I put down probably about 30 total. 30 what? 30,000 or 1,000? 1,000. Okay.

Starting point is 00:14:38 So 5%? Correct. Okay, why would you do that? Was this supposed to be a house for you to live in or an investment? Yes. I, you know, maybe I, on the other hand, I wanted to move my relationship along with my boyfriend, my ex. Oh, ex. Sorry, ex.

Starting point is 00:14:53 He didn't make it to the closing. Yeah. Uh-huh. I'm not tall. Is he? 5-9. Oh, you must have destroyed him. Crushed him.

Starting point is 00:15:02 You guys look alike. Huh? You guys definitely look alike. I'm not in the mood to be crushed, personally. Oh, come on. Some people love to be. 5-9. Some people loved...

Starting point is 00:15:11 I'm 5-8. It's just a shoes. Oh, dude, your thighs could choke a man to death. Wow. So, okay, you're a realtor, an Airbnb. Well, is it a program manager? Yep. Okay.

Starting point is 00:15:22 You rent out your own Airbnb. You help other people rent up. their own and Airbnb, and you're probably a dominatrix on the side that chokes men with your thighs. What else do you do, apparently? Because I highly doubt you make money from you being a mortgage, huh? Mm-hmm. Oh, wait, me being a what? A mortgage what?

Starting point is 00:15:41 Sorry, realtor. Oh, no, I don't make anything. Yeah. So what else do you do? That's it right now. That's it right now. Infinite girl bossing too close to the sun and getting destroyed. No, nothing else right now.

Starting point is 00:15:53 All right. I'll see a picture of this ex. Yeah. I find the X. I got to fucking see it. Why did you break up with... That's a long story. He only wanted to pay $1,000 a month

Starting point is 00:16:03 because that was the going room rate. Uh-huh. Towards my mortgage. Is he poor? No, definitely not. You broke up with him for not wanting to contribute much? I mean, I guess I can get that.

Starting point is 00:16:14 He's over a million in the market. Oh, he hid you during the entire relationship. Yeah, he did. You're hard to hide. Similar, right? Like, it said you on a good day. Like, you see it? We both have got big foreheads.

Starting point is 00:16:28 I mean, I guess he's... Similar eyes? I mean, I'm Olive. He's a bit Mexican. Yeah. He's not Mexican. He's not Mexican? I mean, you've got a better hair line. Huh?

Starting point is 00:16:38 Your hair line's better than it. I have a great hairline, yeah. You're on that finestride, too? Yeah. So is Brandon, so don't worry. Brandon's trying to grow back after he lost everything. Yeah. But I just sustained the full head.

Starting point is 00:16:53 Yeah. So, yeah, I wanted to... Why did he hide you? How old is that, man? 31. Why didn't hide you? So you purchased this for him, even though he was hiding you? I purchased it to move the relationship along.

Starting point is 00:17:08 It wasn't for him, but he basically... That's a weird step in a relationship I've never personally heard of, buying the other person a house. It wasn't for him, right, but it was for us. And so he had all these requirements. He needed to live close to work. He needed his own room. He needed his own office. You guys can't run.

Starting point is 00:17:23 You had to buy for that? Well. Wow. I wanted to move it along. Move what? The relationship, I don't understand how buying that, like you guys weren't married. Well, we had been together over three years, off and on. Three years, and he hid you?

Starting point is 00:17:36 Yes. What the fuck is that? Why was he hiding you from his Mexican family? Oh, my God. The Puerto Rican. Close, so close. He, I don't know how to say it the right way. He just didn't approve of my choices.

Starting point is 00:17:52 What choices? I mean, I don't either. A mess. You're a disaster. Yeah. You know, he basically lost a lot of weight in the start of our relationship. And he became really confident. Good. And we would have a couple public fights in the beginning.

Starting point is 00:18:09 And then we had like a group of church friends that were very, that had certain views and ways. And he just didn't want me to be a part of that. What are you guys gay? No. He could be gay. He looks gay. Yeah, but it's hot. He's hot. He's a good looking dude. Yeah, fair.

Starting point is 00:18:24 Pots. Hammer Elite is free right now But you gotta submit proof of purchase at hammerleet.com So you can get your $10 digital gift card that covers it Yeah Well, views do they disagree with? Um He hid you because you disagreed with views

Starting point is 00:18:38 You had to move the relationship for long You went into a house You can't even come close to afford it Except you actually can't You actually can't You can easily afford this house You just say you can't I don't believe it

Starting point is 00:18:46 I hate my apartment I hate it Huh? You have an apartment? Yeah, I moved out of there What is wrong with you? Well, what is it? with you?

Starting point is 00:18:55 You keep fucking going. Why don't you just... Can you pay the mortgage? Yes, I can afford it, and so can you, and so can Brandon. I would like a new fence, and I need turf. Don't need any of that. Okay. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:19:11 To live there? Yeah. You live in an apartment. You don't have any of those things at your apartment. And I live four minutes away in the hood. Why don't you... Well, yeah, you purchased a house in a bad area. Why do you...

Starting point is 00:19:21 No, it's a great area. Hey, it's coming up. No area near the airport of any city is a good. Excuse me, but there's a new development that's like the domain coming in. There's a new development everywhere and that thing is going to be about 2040. Trust me. It'll be worth a million. It'll be worth a million dollars.

Starting point is 00:19:37 Yes, probably in decades, but why aren't you living there? Because I can't afford it. I can not afford it. But you have it. How often it's being booked on Airbnb? Okay, every weekend's usually booked. Every weekend? Yeah, on average. The better way to think about. You just have location. It must be.

Starting point is 00:19:53 Yeah, and the pool and the size. Every Airbnb I can see has the pool. That's not true. And nicer houses. Oh, come on. It's decorated well. It's not that old.

Starting point is 00:20:03 2002. It's fine. It's old. It just, it doesn't stack up. Yeah. Maybe the price reflects it. Okay, what does it cost to,

Starting point is 00:20:10 fine, what do you bring? Okay. If it's rented every weekend, what do you bring in a weekend? Okay. Well, I look at it by the month. That's the way you got to look at it. Fine.

Starting point is 00:20:18 Monthly. What comes in? On average, around $5,000. That's it. So what are you struggling with? Because that makes you break even. Well, no. If the mortgage is $5,300, and then you have the $1,000 in cleaning fees, and then you have the pool cleaner, and you have the electric and all the utilities, no, you're not.

Starting point is 00:20:35 I'm literally underwater every month. It's at least $7,000 to run it. Then why do it if it's extra cost? You would make more money living there, because you also have the rent of your own place on top of it, which is what? 840. 8,400? 840 freaking dollars a month. I live with a roommate.

Starting point is 00:20:56 You don't have to. This is so, I'm sorry. I am sorry. I'm sorry. This is. I signed a seven-month lease with a friend to get out of debt. No, no, no, that doesn't make any sense, though, because you still have your mortgage. Yes.

Starting point is 00:21:15 Okay, hold on. Can I whiteboard here? I need to draw this out because I think, I think she's, you were destined to be an elementary school English teacher. That's what you look like. And that's what you should have stuck with. You tried to girl boss way too close to the sun. Yeah. Way too close to the sun.

Starting point is 00:21:37 It comes from my parents. And you don't know what the fuck you're doing to save your damn life. Okay. What's your mortgage? Okay, 5300. We're just going to say 5300. Okay. They're a big giggler.

Starting point is 00:21:53 Your lions are a little crooked there. It's just a squiggle. Okay. Sorry. And 5,000 comes in. Yes. So 5K in, out is 5,300. And what does it cost to maintain?

Starting point is 00:22:13 Okay. Yeah, what's the cost to maintain the house for the Airbnb? Cleaning fees on average are around $11. Total per month. $1,100. No, everything. Oh, everything. Is that it?

Starting point is 00:22:24 It's anywhere from, it depends on the number of turns, right? Because you're paying $100 for you. Your average month, because you gave me $5,000 is what comes in from an average month. So what's the average month? 7,500. And it total? That's what it cost me. That's not including the mortgage.

Starting point is 00:22:37 That's including the mortgage. No, no, no. Okay. So on top of it is then... $2,200 on top of the $53 to run it. Okay. Is that including utilities? Yes.

Starting point is 00:22:45 Okay. Supplies, utilities, cleaning. Oh, okay. Plant watering. $100 a month. What is wrong with you? And what is your current right? 800?

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Starting point is 00:25:39 Okay. I guess you're overcomplicating it, but I guess the math does work. Because when you said that $7,000 or $8,000, I thought that was on top of. Oh, no. So technically you are spending less. Here is your difference. So you are saving about that much. So, okay, 5,300 plus 2,200 plus 840 are your expenses,

Starting point is 00:26:14 but minus the 5,000 that brings in, you're still losing 3,340, but that is less. Yeah. But that is less than the 5,000. 300 plus whatever utility. So technically, technically it works. It's just fucking stupid.

Starting point is 00:26:38 Why not just sell the house? I won't. I won't do it. I won't do it. And see how I'm trying to subsidize to pay off the debt because I had so much credit card debt. That was the idea. But why not sell the house?

Starting point is 00:26:51 I thought that I could move back in once I paid off the debt. Why not sell the house is the question? Because you said I will not. So why the fuck not? I want to hold on to it. Congratulations, why. I feel like it will be worth a million dollars. What was your purchase price?

Starting point is 00:27:05 $6.35. Oh, I saw that $600. Yeah, worth about $600. So, never mind. That would be why not? Yeah. But even writing a check, even writing a check getting a $1,500 rent, like you would make it back relatively quickly,

Starting point is 00:27:23 and then you'd be just making, you'd be making the difference in better at that point. You're like long-term rented. Is that what you're saying? What are you saying? No, if you sell it, write a check for what you lost, which you'll be writing like a $20,000 dollar check with the money you make by renting a $1,500 a place, you make that up in a couple years,

Starting point is 00:27:43 and then at that point you're just golden making more instead of holding it on this house. Yeah. So I just don't understand. This house isn't really an opportunity for you. Sure, multi-decade. I got it a huge deal, though. So it was originally... What are you talking about?

Starting point is 00:27:57 So it was originally listed for $750 and it was a short-term rental. You got it for market. You got it for market. Come on, realtor, you got it for market. I got it for $6.35. You got it for market. No, it had rats. It had rats.

Starting point is 00:28:09 I got a $100 discount. That's for market. No. If you and the seller came to an agreement that is for market, you didn't get a discount. I got a discount. Does it still have rats? Perhaps. They just killed four of them today.

Starting point is 00:28:22 Who's they? So when we go there later, there's going to be rats? No, no. I made sure that they came before you arrived today. Perhaps, you know, the, the, the, So, they did. Today, which is Wednesday. Meaning people stay there this last weekend.

Starting point is 00:28:37 Yes. Hey, but I have all five-star reviews. Just hit 21 five-star reviews. How? How, what? I actually lost my biggest booking back in October, like for ACL. A rat chewed through the wiring for the AC. The AC went out and they walked out.

Starting point is 00:28:56 You're broken. Just stop. Okay. Just stop. Okay. Okay. So you bought this disaster that's fucking you and everywhere. whatsoever that technically you can't afford.

Starting point is 00:29:07 So I don't understand how this has ruined you, but you did this to move your relationship along of a guy that was hiding you. Yeah. And then you broke up with, okay, so how long did you own this house before you broke up? It's always been an off and on thing. He'll come back for three months. He'll go away for your month. And when was the last time he was in?

Starting point is 00:29:24 This summer when I didn't have any money to, I had to move out of the house and I didn't have enough money to afford a place to live. But you went back to him. Mm-hmm. So he didn't come back to you there. I went back as a friend. A friend that definitely... Of course.

Starting point is 00:29:37 See, exactly. Come on, we know things. We know. Well, you have a vagina, he has a penis, and you guys are attracted to each other. Yeah. That tends to happen. Fair.

Starting point is 00:29:45 It's weird how that works. And I'll see you guys dated at this point. You also... You said this place was steps from the water. We just haven't found the steps yet. How much did we save? Enough. Enough to get lost!

Starting point is 00:29:59 Or you could book a stay with Hilton. Welcome to your ocean front room. Just steps from the water. The Hilton sale is on now. Book on Hilton.com or the Hilton app and save up to 20% to get the stay you expected. When you want savings, not surprises. It matters where you stay.

Starting point is 00:30:16 Hilton, for the stay. Saw him this weekend. Hmm, perhaps. Did you? No, we've been, yeah, there's a... Good, because he has a girlfriend, from my knowledge. No, he doesn't. Definitely not.

Starting point is 00:30:29 Oh, he's dating someone new, but like, it's casual. It's casual. I mean, God, oh. Oh, he broke up with you? You didn't. break up with him. It's a back and forth. He broke up with you originally during escrow. Yes. He didn't break, you didn't break up with him.

Starting point is 00:30:42 He broke up with you. Yeah. Oh, so he was hiding here. You buy this house to move your relationship along and he breaks up with you an escrow? Yeah. Oh my goodness. Why are you even allowing to go back to this guy? He gives this theme of hope. It's always like you're so beautiful. I just need to get myself. Oh, how many times does that happen? Oh my God.

Starting point is 00:31:00 More than I can count. Then why can't you learn go, boss? He's so convincing with those nice lips, you know. You know, he has your eyes. It's just really... I just have fucking normal brown-ass eyes. They're kind of hazelish. No.

Starting point is 00:31:13 In this lighting. Yeah. You don't have... They don't have the same effect on me. That's fine. I'm not trying to seduce you. You're ancient. Okay, but I got a question, though, on the boys.

Starting point is 00:31:25 Wait. Do you pay for your... Do you believe in paying the bill? For the people that you're dating. What bill? Like, for dinners and dates. I mean, I do. It's not like a hardcore...

Starting point is 00:31:36 poor belief. Yeah. I mean, my philosophy has always been, and I'm about to get shit on in the comments. Yeah, I don't know. Because I was shit on in our membership when we talked about this. He's cheap. No, if I go on a first date, I will pay if I want another date. If it's a bad date and I never want to see them again, I can't with you.

Starting point is 00:31:57 I will try to have them pay for it, but I will at least split it. If it's a date where I'm like, I don't want to date them again, but I'll fuck. let's have some sex afterwards. Yeah. I'll split it. You're an asshole. Why? How's that an asshole?

Starting point is 00:32:12 I mean, wow. That's adults taking care of their own bills. You're going to pay $25 to have access to me. I just feel... So you think people pay to have sex with you because... I mean, yeah, you'll buy my dinner if you're going to then... Well, you're a process. See, for me, I think to consenting adults are...

Starting point is 00:32:29 And taking care of their own bills. Okay. You're right to have your own opinion. But what about long term? So let's say, like, you're a... boyfriend girlfriend. Which I am. Yeah, congrats.

Starting point is 00:32:39 Well, thank you, but that's where I am right now is what I'm saying. But what's the money philosophy there? Well, I just take care of it because I'm objectively the breadwinner due to my position. Fair. So it just makes sense, but like, I don't really care. Okay. I would split it if she wanted to. I'd let her take care of it if she wanted to.

Starting point is 00:33:00 I don't really get. Who gives up? Why is this like a core value? We're not courting anymore. That's fair. That's fair. He was a 50-50 guy, no matter what, no matter what dollars I had. Yeah, always 50-50. Because you eat a lot. Like, and he charges interest on the money he loans you, 10% if you don't pay back within a mile. I like this man. Bring him in. Oh, God. I would rather talk to him instead. Wow. Yeah, okay. No, no, no. You're good. You're fine. You're fine. Oh, he used to meet you to do financial audits.

Starting point is 00:33:30 Yes. And yet you're still like this? He's helping. It's getting better. No, I think this is because you're an independent girlie. And the one time... It was actually his suggestion. One time that a dude mansplains you, you're like, let's just make it worse because I don't want to follow what he says. I read that vibe with you.

Starting point is 00:33:44 Yeah, you're pretty right. Yeah. That hasn't helped you. Because personal finances are easy. It takes a while to get to the complicated shit. The mortgage shit that can get kind of complicated, most personal finance shit is pretty easy. If you just, if he just,

Starting point is 00:34:01 if you feel like you're getting mansplained to him, and then you're like, well, I'm not going to think I'll listen to a little guy. You're just going to fuck yourself over because it's really easy. It's all simple. It doesn't feel simple to me. I've done, I've been in this situation where I'd have nothing. Maybe you shouldn't be girl bossing because it's literally the most simple shit in the entire world. Budgeting, it's like so basic.

Starting point is 00:34:19 You can learn it in five minutes. No, it stresses me out every week. I'm like, I don't know what the heck to do. Then I don't think you should be a program manager if you can't handle a couple numbers on a paper. I mean, budgeting apps like dollar-wise. It's all automated. I get all excited and shit. It's like, I don't know.

Starting point is 00:34:36 None of us want to see that, but I'm like, I don't want. It just seems like there's never enough, no matter how much I make. Well, because you're a moron with your money. You don't sit there and actually budget it. If you budget it, you certainly have enough, especially with, okay. So we know what comes in. What was spent last month? I'd have to check.

Starting point is 00:34:59 What do you think was spent last month? Put yourself in that ring. 14,000. Yeah, it was $28,941. $75. No way. Yes, way. And that's not a mansplain number.

Starting point is 00:35:10 In fact, the accountant who did this was a woman. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. She's surprised. She's sexist. Girl, we live in 2025. Girls can do numbers, too. Just because you can't, others can.

Starting point is 00:35:21 Okay. Okay. Usually that number is 70 cents on the dollar, but not my problem. Okay, fine. Oh, we don't do that here at Hammer Media. In fact, I'd say, though, women make more. Really?

Starting point is 00:35:36 Oh, come on. Huh? Really? Well, yeah, that's because the women that work here tend to be in the more, like, skilled and demand positions where, you know,

Starting point is 00:35:46 Mr. Mark over there is making pennies on the dollar because he's a little contractor. Love you, Mark. Hi, Mark. Say head of the camera. Yeah, we can relate. Here he is.

Starting point is 00:35:55 Here's our little pennies on the dollar, boy. Here he comes all five foot two. Okay. So what do you think your financial score is? Zero to 10, zero being the worst finances ever, 10 being the best finances ever. One.

Starting point is 00:36:17 Okay. If you want your financial score, it is free to take the assessment. It only takes a few minutes to see where you stand in the world of money at Caleb Pamer.com. See what you got to do to improve your situation, where you're fucking up, where are you doing well? And if you don't want to be like a guest who ends up on the show,

Starting point is 00:36:30 again, it's not complicated shit. Just download the dollar-wise budgeting app. Take the free child to see if you like it. New features being added every single month, tens of thousands of subscribers for a reason. And then if you like it, you can sign it for the annual version to save a lot of money, and I will personally sign my budget-friendly cookbook

Starting point is 00:36:45 and mail it directly to you. Dollarwise.com, Calebhammer.com. All those links are below. All right, let's jump in, because this is going to take a second because, oh, we're f***ed. This is a lot of paperwork, and you spend beyond way more than you bring in. It's not even comparable.

Starting point is 00:37:02 I don't even know how you exist. It's insane. Okay, so here we go. Past two. Why am I seeing past two on your mortgage? Well, you know, I was, was unemployed. Huh?

Starting point is 00:37:12 When? When? March to July. And you just got employed into a declining, not only company, but market as well. What were you doing before that? I was a program manager at a different tech company. What tech company?

Starting point is 00:37:26 And you got laid off at a company that is actually growing? Well. And now, and now you're at that good. It was a dream job. Sure, I'm sure. Yeah. I'm a contractor, though. That's not layoff.

Starting point is 00:37:41 They just didn't renew your contract. Yeah, well, is that the map. Wait, are you a contractor right now? Wait, when did your contract end? January 3rd 1st. Here's only, you have all these. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why you're doing any of this contract?

Starting point is 00:38:06 Contract? Oh, are you doing any of this contract? You have an end date. You have a fucking end date. Oh, good luck with the renewal. Good luck with the renewal to Airbnb. Airbnb. Can luck. Oh, why are you getting into the any of this shit if you're a contractor?

Starting point is 00:38:26 Contract. Oh, what are you doing? Fair. Okay. Fair. How about you tell me, fucking why? I would have a one year. If I was a contracting, I'd be a one year emergency funding a minimum before I went

Starting point is 00:38:41 any kind of debt. Oh, what do you get to Airbnb? Your Airbnb. When I bought the house, it's just all gone. And how long was that emergency fund? emergency fund with your mortgage included into it. How long would have it lasted? Six months?

Starting point is 00:38:57 Bullshit! Bullshit! Your mortgage payment, you had... What was the number you had saved up? 70,000. After I paid. I had about 100 grand. How'd you fucking unemployed for six months?

Starting point is 00:39:09 I was depressed. I was hungry. Like you said. Which one was it? Depressed or hungry? Both. Bullshit. Depressed.

Starting point is 00:39:16 Fuck you. Everyone says they're depressed. Until I get a clinical diagnosis, I don't believe that shit anymore. Yeah. You had a sad day. We all do. Mm-hmm.

Starting point is 00:39:24 Mm-hmm. What? Because Mr. Mexican left you? Yeah, for the 10th time. Girl, you're behind four months. Mm-hmm. I'm in a more... Four months in Airbnb!

Starting point is 00:39:35 Works for Airbnb. Has an Airbnb. Four months behind her in Airbnb. Contract ends in two months. You said January, right? End of Jan. So three? Three months?

Starting point is 00:39:45 Kind of. I'd say two and a half. I have option for renewal, you know? You have the option or they have the option? Well, they have the option. It is a... They are down 10% this month. You know how stock prices go up

Starting point is 00:39:58 when companies aren't doing well? Layoffs! I'm still gonna get that full-time offer. I'm gonna get it. Mm-hmm. Just like you did it. Oh, a sore spot there. It just can happen.

Starting point is 00:40:10 It's a prime example of how this works. Source spot. You don't know what a source spot is. That just fucking happened. That is reality. That is what your type... Can you cover the mortgage? What was your job?

Starting point is 00:40:23 What was your job? when you got this mortgage? I was a program manager at Meta, and I was making the most I'd ever made. What was it? I make one three an hour now. I was making 90 an hour. So almost 200.

Starting point is 00:40:35 All this privilege, all this opportunity, all this shit, and you f***ed it all. I had a plan. No, you didn't. You blew your emergency fund on hunger. So.

Starting point is 00:40:47 And assets. That's our plan. Assets, what assets? Yeah, just thanks. Thanks. What? House?

Starting point is 00:40:55 No, you said you had 70,000 left after the assets. So where did it go? What assets? There were some trips. That's not an asset. Some purchases. Some personal. What did you purchase?

Starting point is 00:41:04 Okay, what was your personal purchases? Plastic surgery. Oh. No, no, no, no. You do look good. I'm just like, I'm trying to figure out the, because usually plastic surgery, you can kind of see. Okay, maybe we'll learn as we go along.

Starting point is 00:41:23 Can you turn to the side? Mm-hmm. No, your nose wasn't done. No, you have a bump, but it's not bad. Bumps aren't bad. We like a good bump. That's a natural nose. It's symmetrical.

Starting point is 00:41:34 But you definitely don't have a nose job because it would be a perfect nose and you don't have a perfect nose. I don't even like perfect nose. It's like it's so fake. Because you know if you fuck someone with a perfect nose and then a baby comes out that baby's going to have a fift-up nose.

Starting point is 00:41:47 Fair. So there were some asset purchases. Except purchases. I don't think, do you know what the way? word asset means? Is there anything tangible that you can sell? I'm trying to, you know, meet my husband, right? And my mom always said, you know, once you get them done, you're probably going to meet

Starting point is 00:42:03 the might of your life. Them? Oh, are they done? Are those done right there? I don't know. They're not even on display. What's the point of even purchasing? I didn't, I wanted to be polite to your girlfriend.

Starting point is 00:42:14 I don't think she has to be worried. Oh, you're ancient. It's okay. Yeah. How old are you? 30. Oh, okay. Yeah, I'm like, your.

Starting point is 00:42:23 grandma. Yeah. So the tits. How much were the tits? 14-ish. 1,000? Mm-hmm. For titties?

Starting point is 00:42:34 Yeah, they were natural. It was a premium price for premium. They're not natural. They're fake. But they're as natural as natural could be. Are they silicone? No, it's actually a new kind that is, it mimics

Starting point is 00:42:49 natural tissue. Good, because I hate, every time I fuck the fake Ferretus, I hated it. You wouldn't know. You wouldn't know. I'll let someone else vouch for them. It's just fake boobs. I mean, they look at from afar, but up close, it's just like,

Starting point is 00:43:06 you're just kind of feeling this. You're like, uh, uh, uh. That's why it's a premium price, you know? Like, you probably only got like the $5,000 ones that you've touched. You've never touched the 14,000 ones. Yeah, well, the one I touched had breast cancer. So that's why she got them. I'm just going to have some coffee.

Starting point is 00:43:23 How do you feel? Excuse me. I'm busy. So, $14,000 for tits. Yes, sir. And that was in December of last year. And my contract was ending in March. And you can always see, because I got a little scar right here.

Starting point is 00:43:38 You do a little, you're like, what's this? That's how I checked. On the third date, when you split the meal, right? Or when you pay for the meal. Third? No, second. Second? Third.

Starting point is 00:43:54 I don't know. I haven't been single for a long. time. I don't think people wait to the second date these days. Unless they're Gen Z. They're very anti-sex. They're very anti-sex. They wait generations until they In a church community. So it was a little different. Yeah. Ah, yes. My favorite thing that the churchgoers do. Get big fake tits for the congregation. For Jesus. Okay. What did you get those? Those, those.

Starting point is 00:44:21 Them? Oh, yeah. They? Back in December. The twins. They're almost a year old. Okay. Oh, that's right when a contract ended. Yeah, I had a couple more months. 14,000. Mm-hmm.

Starting point is 00:44:35 So someone is this, what's this new material? What do you mean? What is this new material that we are making tits out of? Oh, it's called Motiva. It's a gel-like. Sounds like a weight loss drug. It's a gel, and that feels natural. I've had some of that too.

Starting point is 00:44:48 So someone in Austin is just injecting Motiva into people? Well, no. It's a structure when they put it in there. Yeah. But it's gel-like, and it mimics like how tissue would move. Where do I go in Austin to experience this? Can I name the doctor? This is where you went?

Starting point is 00:45:04 It was in Austin? Yeah, it was in Austin. Yeah, she's excellent. Okay, no, no, no, no. No, okay. But, okay. Okay, yeah, four payments behind in a mortgage, so we can get things like fake tits and more plastic surgery and you've blue.

Starting point is 00:45:21 So 70,000 emergency fund. Now we can't pay our mortgage. And he got fake tits. That's what you did with your emergency fund, fake tits. Did you BBL? I mean, not then. You have a BBL? I mean, where else would that come from, the thick thighs?

Starting point is 00:45:41 Oh my, I see it in your face now. Now I see it. You got them fake lips. Finding a doctor you actually like? Well, I need one for my injuries. Ignore that. But it's like finding a dollar in your winter coat, except way more valuable and slightly less linty.

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Starting point is 00:46:53 That's kind of fucking stupid, I'll be honest. But what's not is actually getting a checking account that gives you free money. Free money, we like free money. You can get up to $350 in bonus cash right now. When you sign up for the checking account that I use, chime. Also, it makes your savings grow at a 3.5 APY interest rate. Guys, you can watch financial audit and get free money at the same time. Who would have thought?

Starting point is 00:47:18 That's incredible. Check it out. Link in the description below. Sign up for time. Get that $350 right now in your checking account. No. It's been a bit. Injections. It's been a bit. You got something. There's something happening. Nothing here. These have been. There's something going on. Just a smile. Botox? No, it's I stopped in March. I'm on a budget. Look, see. That's, ah. Yeah. BBL and Columbia. Only two grand. Very affordable. And where? In Columbia. You went to Columbia.

Starting point is 00:47:49 Yeah, I used to live there. You're everywhere. This is so confusing. And yeah, all of this, blowing our emergency fund on it, even if it's cheap, you blow your emergency fund on it. And then now you're four payments behind

Starting point is 00:48:02 on a mortgage. What the fuck are we doing? Wait, you went to Turkey. And March this year, when you're a contractant? For LIPO? You're not fat. Were you fat?

Starting point is 00:48:12 Yeah, well, I'm a little bit lighter, but they actually wouldn't do it. They said I just need to lose weight. Well, Yes. Yeah, but look, see, I'm sad. That's what you wanted life for? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:48:23 Chirky wouldn't do it? No, I went with a friend to accompany her for a nose job. So she got that done. What are those in the circle you're in? You're just fake. This is, again, why I refuse to reproduce with people like you. What you think is natural is not natural, sir. Exactly.

Starting point is 00:48:39 Well, actually, my girlfriend's all natural. She's a select few. No, I'm just saying I wouldn't have sex. I wouldn't reproduce to someone like. you because the child is going to come out ugly. Oh, that's pretty harsh. No, because you, oftentimes, all these people that are super fake, they came from something that wasn't that great,

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Starting point is 00:49:41 Wait, what, you have fake abs. Yes. But looking at me, I have a natural look, right? Can we see them? No. Yeah. Yeah. Can we put the picture on screen?

Starting point is 00:49:51 Yeah. Okay. You want me to pull it up? Oh, you have it from Instagram. I have one from Instagram. Okay. I got to say this. What did you spend on fake ads?

Starting point is 00:50:00 No, that was included. The BBL is you get the etched abs and you put it in them behind. What is happening? What is happening? Why do you want to live this way? You knew your emergency fund on all this fake bodily shit and now you can't pay your mortgage and you're four months behind. Yes. But that's why there's mortgage assistance.

Starting point is 00:50:19 BBL over mortgage. Mortgage assistance programs are meant for this. What? You make so much money. How do you qualify for a mortgage assistance program? It's just how it works. Do you? What's their mortgage assistance program? I actually have the paperwork downstairs. What is it? What have you signed up for?

Starting point is 00:50:32 So you just like, you call the bank and you're like, hey, I can't pay, and this is my situation. I'm unemployed. And then they go back and look at it. And then while they're looking at it, you actually don't have to pay for 60 days because they're reviewing your account. Oh, my, but you're on like 120. What do you mean? Days. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:50:49 Well, no. Okay. So then you enter into the mortgage assistance program. and there's a few options, and then they give you a trial period. So then... Well, here's the fake abs. How do you let? What do you think?

Starting point is 00:50:59 Why? I don't get it. It looks fantastic. Which picture did you show him? Oh, yeah. I was a little thinner then. That's what, four years ago, five years ago? So how do fake abs work with getting fat?

Starting point is 00:51:09 Well, I think that's going to be an issue when I'm pregnant, right? Like, you're basically going to have abs over your... Are you doing that? I mean, not at this moment. Don't you, aren't you tick, clock, clock? Yeah, but it's more in modern times. You know, down in Argentina, they don't have kids to 40s. Are they?

Starting point is 00:51:22 Are they somewhere? Are they? The eggs? No. I don't believe in that. But... Hey, I'm going to come back pregnant. I hear you.

Starting point is 00:51:30 I live a healthy lifestyle. I don't know. Everything's fake. I don't think that it affects reproduction. No, we don't know what is what you have done that is healthy versus what you have done and that has been like taken out and implemented. Okay. And who the fuck are you reproducing with?

Starting point is 00:51:48 Because this guy just keeps coming and going and he already has someone now, so... Wasn't it? What's his name? Brian? Who's going to be my... Come on over, Brian. Yeah. So my dad's around $700,000. Here's Brian, her future reproduction. Oh, interesting. Hi, Brian.

Starting point is 00:52:05 Hello. Hi. How are you? Doing great. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. He's a handsome guy, isn't? Hey, you're pretty cute. Thank you. You don't feel uncomfortable anymore now, do you? 511. Oh, I'm into that. Six feet on a good day? Yeah, absolutely. Okay, I love that. We're a platform for you.

Starting point is 00:52:19 Thank you. Look at her now. I remember when she was a victim who was uncomfortable earlier? It's disgusting for them. I know. And he's going to pay off my debt. Actually, I would love to raise money from the audience. No. Please help me.

Starting point is 00:52:31 I will literally murder you before I ever allowed that to happen. Literally. I have good intentions. Disagree. Okay, so let's see. And the house is a 7% rate. It's not great. I had a buy-down.

Starting point is 00:52:45 You bought down to 7? The seller paid for it. Okay, so. It was a 2-1 buy-down. When did you get this house? May of 24 Why did you say it like your

Starting point is 00:52:56 I don't know 596,161 $161.96 With a normal minimum payment of $5,836 and $89 you owe $23,300 to catch up.

Starting point is 00:53:13 Yes, but I finished the mortgage modification. I made it to the trial so right now I'm I'll be able to, they will put that debt at the back of the loan. It's so stupid. So you're going to pay more in interest, all for BBLs and fake tits. Well done, ladies and gentlemen.

Starting point is 00:53:27 Thank you. Our culture is incredible. The future of civilization is... But you're telling me I can move back in? I can move back into the house. You can afford it with your money. You are, unfortunately, an absolute mess and disaster. So I don't know.

Starting point is 00:53:43 We need to look at the rest of this. What is this? What am I looking at? That's the patient fide. That's what I owe for the boobs. They're financed tits. Oh, yeah. They're fine.

Starting point is 00:53:53 One was paid. I paid half. That's the other half. And if you default on this, do you, do they take it back? I don't know. And you just have to call. I'd have to call. I don't think Brandon will do it if it's just one.

Starting point is 00:54:07 He loves fake tits. Oh my gosh. He is just the biggest. But mine looks so natural, so it might not be his style. We don't know, and I also don't believe you. I've only been with, I think, three or four fakes. Yeah. Because I really don't go for that traditionally.

Starting point is 00:54:22 and I've never liked any of them. Fair. Even the cancer one. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry about that. What? People get cancer.

Starting point is 00:54:32 Fair. That would be really sad. Yeah. So this is boobs. Yes, sir. So boobs. What interest rate are boobs? Oh, I have no idea.

Starting point is 00:54:41 Because it was interest free. Why didn't you click the details tab of the screenshot that you sent me? It was interest free. Are you able to pull the cell in your phone? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I want you to click. details. I thought about paying it yesterday and then I just,

Starting point is 00:54:56 why? Well, you're buying on your mortgage. You're a fucking dumb, actual beast of a creature. Hmm. I mean? No, this is insane. Like, this is absolutely insane. $192.50 payment on one tit a month.

Starting point is 00:55:14 You owe $6,038. Paid $1,000 so far. It's a fucking stupid. This is ridiculous. You want to look at it? I don't even know. Just push the detail button, you absolute insane. I'm looking.

Starting point is 00:55:33 Billing statement? They don't make it easy, I swear. I'm excited for us to show this Airbnb in the post show. And Lindsay, myself and the cameraman will leave and allow Brandon to stay there with you. Wow. Only after the payments made on my debt, please. That'll be in the post-show. I'm requesting 20 grand.

Starting point is 00:55:52 Give me! I don't know where to find the interest rate. Just give it to me. Okay. Lady. I have the dock open. They don't have it. Listen.

Starting point is 00:56:05 Are you a natural blonde? Because you're acting like it. No, look at this. I haven't had it colored in months. That's what I'm saying. I don't know how you're being such a stupid. We are looking. Why can you not give it to me?

Starting point is 00:56:15 I don't see it. It's literally not on here. Oh, ooh. Ooh, I found it. 17%. They're not. even on display. What's the point? 17% in their hidden? It's like,

Starting point is 00:56:38 what are we even doing? If I had a 17% interest rate on my tits, they would be everywhere. They'd be everywhere. Instead, guys, these are just free. I think I need a new career. I'm not saying people will pay for it. You chose to do that yourself,

Starting point is 00:56:54 lady. Yeah. It's pretty low. I guess she brought another outfit. She brought another outfit just in case a tube top. I don't even know what that means. Just in case she wanted to boob it out. I thought it would help donations. Fuck you donations.

Starting point is 00:57:13 Fuck you. Fuck you donations. Imagine having a 17% debt on a singular tit. Hey, at least I paid for the other one. You know, I own one. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Starting point is 00:57:34 Plan M card. What is going on with this? This is insane. Nothing's been going on since April. April? You've had a good... You make so much fucking money. You privileged.

Starting point is 00:57:44 What is wrong with you? People are out there struggling. You make so much fucking money doing so many things and you just... You are... There is something seriously wrong with you as an individual. It's on a payment plan. I feel brilliant.

Starting point is 00:57:57 You said nothing's happened since me. Yeah, so I figured out that you can call and you were like, I'm broke, I can't pay. You're not, though. You're not! And then they lower the interest and then give you, like, X amount of time so that you...

Starting point is 00:58:09 To pay it off. Tell that interest goes back up again, huh? Yeah, I brought it with me. I can't. to use it again. It's a 10% it's not good. It is obviously better

Starting point is 00:58:19 than the like 25 that it would be. Because I've already had it shut down once before. Shut down once before and you reopened? Yeah, finally. They let me. What is wrong with you? Why do you need this? Why do you need to be a credit card person?

Starting point is 00:58:30 You're not. You're a moron. You can't do. It's for the points. What does the program manager do? We, um, we shepherd. Because you've seen actually stupid. Thank you.

Starting point is 00:58:41 I really appreciate that. That actually helps me do my job. job better. Being a program manager? What do you do? No, but the dumber I seem, right, the better my job goes. How many b-s did you start to get this job?

Starting point is 00:58:54 Zero, actually. I only applied 40 times. Well, yeah, that's normal. Yeah. Okay, yeah, what do you do on a day-to-day basis? Well, I'm responsible for two things. So I'm helping a new feature launch on the app, right? And then the second part of my job is change management.

Starting point is 00:59:10 So I'm helping change an entire org. They trust you with this. Yeah. Yeah, they don't have any idea about this. But on the outside, it looks great, right? I own an Airbnb. I used to have an Airbnb community that you said is nothing. I guess.

Starting point is 00:59:25 Yeah. Hopefully I get a job at the end of this. Yeah, I hope. Obviously, I hope. I don't want you to fucking die, but my goodness, like, this is insane. You make such a good income yet. You do all that. It's so stupid.

Starting point is 00:59:41 Why am I broke? Huh? Why am I broke? Have you heard this conversation? so far? I heard what I wanted to. You are not a credit card, so you don't need to use a credit card. Use the FIS card.

Starting point is 00:59:51 It's a debit card that builds credit. You can't spend more than that's in your checking account. What the fuck is going on? This makes no sense. It was such a big deal that that was like, I had no limit before it was locked. Yeah. Is it locked now? Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 01:00:07 Good. You can't spend on. Yeah, now there's a limit. This is insane. Just $13,721, $0.56. Minimity Payment 3.79. Four years to pay off minimumity payments only. Surprise.

Starting point is 01:00:21 What? When you were in Turkey, they didn't even do the surgery, but she spent $5,000 on the presidential suite? Yeah, my friend was recovering, and her provided free hotel by the airport was a dump. And I was like, you know... It's turkey, no shit! I was like, fuck it. Let's just stay somewhere freaking nice. I know, it was so expensive when we still had to share our bed.

Starting point is 01:00:41 We didn't even get our own rooms. So, no free breakfast either. But, you know, we did get like a bottle of champagne and late checkout. Oh, whoa. It was worth it. Let check out, bottle of champagne to enjoy when you watch the next coup happen. Her nose looks great. Yeah, and now she's going to reproduce,

Starting point is 01:00:58 and the child that comes out is going to have a fift-up nose. That's an interesting way to look at it. Can't the child just get a nose job too? It's fake. You're setting up your potential mating partner for fake DNA. You're an uggo. Okay, maybe you're maybe. I don't know if you are.

Starting point is 01:01:15 Maybe his genetics, future him, Brian's, genetics will be stronger than mine and they'll get his nose. Your nose isn't bad. Yeah. But I'm just saying if there's an ugly person and they become completely fake, what they produce is still going to be ugly. But that's why we make more money to be able to fix it. A bump in the nose isn't fixed. If you got full Jew nose, like, it's not like that's necessarily a bad thing. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:01:39 I don't think so. In fact, have you seen the Jews? Oh, yeah. Dude, their tits are incredible. Like, ladies and gentlemen, Guna's out there. Unless you're like chronically online and you like despise the Jews right now, it's like, go look at those tits. I dated a bunch of them, but I could never get them to like propose to me.

Starting point is 01:01:58 Why do you call them them? Oh, excuse me. I have dated a few Jews in my time. But then we would, I actually walked out on a guy once. I had this boyfriend and he didn't want to pay the 50 cents for the avocado. So I literally ordered the avocado and took my meal out and left him there. I don't know about Jewish guys, but Jewish girls got the titties. And the beautiful curly hair?

Starting point is 01:02:19 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess I missed out on the gene pool. I'm half Samoan. Yes, she's going back to a Mexican guy. Yeah, my dad's Samoan. Turn over again, that already has other people. Yeah, this card's, dude.

Starting point is 01:02:34 And a shit ton of fees is here, so far. He handed 33 dollars and $2,000 of interest. Wow. I didn't even know. Oh, man, you know, I didn't even think about this. because here's the reality. Because I make jokes about every group. And sometimes the Jews are included in that group

Starting point is 01:02:54 because I make fun of every group. But I just complimented them so much. Are you Jewish? No. Girlfriend. No. But I just complimented them instead of making fun of them and talking about how good their tits are.

Starting point is 01:03:07 Usually creators get paid to talk good about the Jews. I didn't even collect the check to say that. That's such a missed opportunity. We should reach out to the Jews. Jews, if you hear this. Business at Caleb hammer.com I will take the check and I will congratulate your tits even more.

Starting point is 01:03:23 Shishkas. I don't know what that meant. It's like white girl. Do they like the white girls? Not to marry. Do you? Move on. I don't know what they do these days.

Starting point is 01:03:38 Apple. What are you doing with the Apple? $3,051.5 cents. Okay, with minimum. the payment, $103. I haven't been able to use that in months. Good. Why not able to?

Starting point is 01:03:51 I haven't had the money to pay it down. Well, that's bad, but why, so why do you to use it? Why is it like an exciting thing to you to be able to use it? The moment you put any money towards it, you spend it. Why? Why is it so exciting? I don't know.

Starting point is 01:04:04 That one was usually like all my set expenses. And I, I'm up until like April, May, when reality came crashing down as I moved out of my house in three hours. Yeah. I just had a lot. Is it your house in three hours? Yeah. Like, I basically, I put it live, and within three hours, I got a booking for six weeks, and I got $6,800.

Starting point is 01:04:24 And I was going to actually be able to cover the mortgage, but instead of paying it, I kept the money. Why? I don't know. I didn't know when I was going to get another, I didn't know when another amount of money was going to come in. I don't understand. How long do you think this takes the payoff if you only make minimum fee payments only and don't purchase, which are incapable of both of those things? But how long? Three years, four years?

Starting point is 01:04:43 15 years. Oh. What are you going to be like 90? Yeah. I was not that much. It's 35. And you rented a car? Do you not have a car? How did you think you today? I love a loan. I have a loan on a car. Why do I see budget rent a car for $96? Hey, honey, it's mom. Did you know if we switched to Verizon we can get four phones for $0,

Starting point is 01:05:02 plus four lines for $25 a line? Call me back. Me again. That's just $100 a month for four lines on Unlimited Welcome. Plus four phones, no trade in needed. Call me. It's mom. America's Best Network. Verizon. That's the one we're talking about. I'll send you text. America's Best Network based on Root Metrics, Best Overall Mobile Network Performance, U.S. second half, 2025. Four two lines and a limit and welcome and auto pay. See Verizon.com for details. There was a wedding. The girl who got the nose job this summer. I had to make it to her wedding.

Starting point is 01:05:33 I actually financed those. That's why she got the nose job so she'd get married? What's that finance aftercare? What is it called when you, when you, I had to finance the budget rental on that, the afterpay app or whatever it's called. Why do I see it on here? I think that was only part of it. That was like the down payment for it, right? Yeah. I had to make sure that I had enough budgets at the airport.

Starting point is 01:05:52 So you put a down payment on debt. Well, no. The down payment on the rental. Yes. The Apple card is debt. You used debt for the down payment. That was a few declines to get that to work. Show me your afterpay.

Starting point is 01:06:04 Oh, well, I know it's all paid off now. Wait, let's see. What is it even called? It's in my wallet. And you're also just, you've got 150 Amazon transactions this year so far. That was only till March? Oh, you're insane. 150 till March?

Starting point is 01:06:20 January to March, 150 transactions on Amazon? Oh, it's a firm. Amplified to the coup to the max. Okay, I'm being good. I'm not even signed into my affirm. Yeah, but pull up your Amazon. Oh, Amazon. Ooh.

Starting point is 01:06:36 Hey, those are, that's supplies. Do you cream every time pumpkin spice lattes are announced on a yearly basis? No, that is not my flavor. No. That's your flavor. Caramel. Available year round. Not a seasonal girl.

Starting point is 01:06:52 Okay. I've got Amazon up. Where do you want me to go? To my hand. Okay. Hey, business prime. Because I'm a business owner. Shut the fuck up.

Starting point is 01:07:04 Oh, you close. Yeah. Wanna know a dirty little secret? And no, I'm not starting an only . You're not broke because you suck with money. You just can't see where it's going. If your bank account is actually, At the end of every month, that is not bad luck, that is bad tracking.

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Starting point is 01:07:51 So now you need to do that with your energy drink as well. Make GamerSubs at home for just 40 cents a serving. And honestly, it literally tastes better. And we proved this accidentally via a blind taste test in our Hammer Elite show, Fat and Fatter. The number one ranked energy drink is Gator. Literally the cherry flavor is insane. Listen, you can also get free samples. to see if you like it or 10% off your order at gammersups.g. Or click that link in the

Starting point is 01:08:20 description below. Type in code Caleb. We already have eight things in the cart. Let's see. Hey, a $300 toothbrush. A $300 tooth brush. They're good. Sure. Do you need $300? Oh, and a $200 toothbrush. I couldn't say. A sauna blanket towel thing and other one, I guess we're comparing them, a large outdoor light. Christian S. light blonde hair. Okay, let's see what the fuck your orders are. This is all bullshit. It's all stupid.

Starting point is 01:08:52 So moronic. Amazon ad free for Prime Video. It was purchased there. What the fuck is this? Ordered. What even is this that was purchased? I think it's an ID. Oh, Prime Video Membership.

Starting point is 01:09:04 This is crazy. Three in one day. Okay, well, that thing was return, return, return. Okay, we got wired earbuds. We got some throw pills. A journal, makeup remover. I mean, that's fine. Suds, oxygen whitener.

Starting point is 01:09:23 Well, I guess you got your $300 tooth rush for that. I don't know how this is going to. Hydrogen, peroxide, ultra-concentrated bleach tablets, more throw pillows. Tullet paper, garbage bags. These are okay, except more throat pillows. We're just getting throw pillows every five seconds. Well, you're going to see it when you go to the house. Oh, fuck.

Starting point is 01:09:47 Helps increase the rental. Cool thing. Mm-hmm. So, a new box magnetic. iPhone, bullshit. Dumbassery, light bulbs. Okay, it's a lot of shit for the house, yeah. Which is so expensive.

Starting point is 01:09:56 Yeah, just financed a new phone. Coffee. A phone you're on is new. Needed a case. What is it? It's just an iPhone, but it's not even anything good. Same thing. No?

Starting point is 01:10:10 Yeah, same. Same. Smaller. Oh, it's, yeah, one you got smaller. So this is certainly not the, what is it? What is this? What model phone do you have? 17 pro-ish? You got the pro.

Starting point is 01:10:21 You got the small micro-dick pro? Okay, you got the micro-dick pro. And then you immediately ruined it with a phone case. Like it's just like, what's the point of even, you should have a phone case? Well, your income, you actually don't. This is, yeah, it's just so much shit. Endless, endless, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning.

Starting point is 01:10:35 Well, because this house is way too expensive. You spend thousands on Amazon. Yeah. But it's for supplies. I split it up. Okay, Sapphire preferred. What's going on? Sapphire preferred.

Starting point is 01:10:45 Same. It's been locked since May. What? No, there's $400 of purchases, you absolute beast. No. Yeah. I have, I did the same payment program. Lies. Lies.

Starting point is 01:10:57 No, really? Lies. Not true. Lies. $400 of purchases. Must be interest? Oh my gosh. It's not even purchased this.

Starting point is 01:11:04 It's worse. Is it interest? No. No, what is it? Oh, is it? What is it? Don't tell me. It's two return payments because you didn't have enough money and you're checking it out when your payments hit.

Starting point is 01:11:15 Yeah. Two returned payments. No way. Can I see that. that? You are a fucking disaster. Quarter million dollars a year plus more homeowner,

Starting point is 01:11:24 less position beyond belief, and you're destroying it. My credit took a hit. What the fuck is wrong with you? You owe on this, $5,672. The minimum monthly payment of $132. See, but I put it in a payment plan.

Starting point is 01:11:41 You're over the limit to $72. 57 cents, you f***. $216. $2.6 pieces. here. $5333. Here's the return payment. Feas!

Starting point is 01:11:52 Can I see that? Yes! Oh. Oh. I got to make a call. Make a call and see if I can get that back. No, the return payment fees.

Starting point is 01:12:01 They're not late fees. They're return payment. You have total fees. Dang. It doesn't look good with the mortgage behind. Yeah, maybe I'll get you an accounting certification to course careers. Because listen, you don't even need

Starting point is 01:12:11 the certifications for your job because you're already in the place everyone's trying to get to. Most people get the course career certifications to get to the place you're getting. But I'll get you an accounting one because you're fucking broken. You don't know how to do anything numbers related.

Starting point is 01:12:22 So how did you... You know, I have a finance degree? Huh? I have a finance degree. We're not going to talk about it. USAA visa card. What is going on? That's fine.

Starting point is 01:12:37 It's a... When you purchased, it was $1,613.50. That's the only card that's open. It has a $500 limit that I'm able to use. Okay, you're at $299 because you put some money towards it once you purchased on it. It takes two years to pay that off $18 minimum monthly payment. What are we doing here?

Starting point is 01:12:56 TaskRabbery seat, your task rabbiting people. Tiff treats cookies. PBC Hayward. That's for the rental. It's for the rental. We give cookies after every stay. You can't afford the rental. You're already losing on the rental. You tell me, my house sucks. Huh? Well, you got to give cookies so then they don't think about how bad the house is.

Starting point is 01:13:12 You put it right before the review. You shouldn't have gotten a fucking shitty house. Magic helpers, magic helpers. These are all the cleaners? Yeah. Oh, my dick. Shop, Amazon, going in against bullshit, Amazon, return payment fee. Two cards in a row. I don't know how you're going to survive. You're giving up everything.

Starting point is 01:13:33 You're giving up your entire... It's ambitious that I try to pay. This is a utility payment? What am I seeing here? I see utility news. That's bad. What is this? What is this?

Starting point is 01:13:43 What is this possibly? What is this? I owe $2,200 to Austin Electric. How? You make so much money! For grass at the Airbnb, and then they left the water on, and now it was like $800 one month, and then almost nine or something the next month.

Starting point is 01:14:02 And things just add up. But now I'm on a payment plan. I only have to pay $36 back a month, plus my normal bill. Oh. I think that's interest-free. Whoa. You owe them $2,76. $500 more than I thought.

Starting point is 01:14:23 Yeah. Yeah. And what? You have a payment on it of 642? Yeah, yeah. Oh, $6.42.6. I've never had awesome. And energy here. What, you want to buy more Airbnbs? You can't even afford your electric. Hey.

Starting point is 01:14:42 You can't even forge your own utilities that's happening right now. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? I have dreams. Big dream. You want to do all this shit. You don't know how to do anything. You don't know how to do anything. You don't know how to do anything.

Starting point is 01:14:54 You said personal finance is easy. Ryan, I know how to do the hard part. Just I'll be for this. Yeah, budgeting. Budgeting is easy. You're not. So how the fuck do you think you can do the hard stuff? I think I can figure it out.

Starting point is 01:15:04 What? You can't even figure out the easy stuff. How can you do the hard stuff? It's all going to work out. Listen, your Airbnb is literally losing money and you want to get more Airbnb's? Yeah. What? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:15:13 How does that logic make sense? Please. It just does. No, it does it. Tell me how it makes sense. I've studied this for years. You study it, yeah, yours loses money. So please tell me how you make sense to get more.

Starting point is 01:15:22 Okay. I think that when the market changes in Austin, and when they require a license, it's not going to be as heavy of competition, right? When the market changes in Austin, is that a city council required thing? Yes, it happens in July. I wouldn't rely on them.

Starting point is 01:15:35 They have to vote on it. It's already done. You have to get a license, and then come July, Airbnb will pull down every listing that's not licensed. It's done. It's happening. Oh, okay.

Starting point is 01:15:46 So more regulation. And so there's out of 13,000 in Austin, there's only 2,000 that are licensed. So I know there's going to be a little bit of an increase. Won't everyone just license up? No, they're going to cap. it. They haven't said what the cap is, but it's going to be much less. I estimate... Who's capping in Austin? Yeah, Austin.

Starting point is 01:16:01 Oh, so you're relying on that. Who knows? Why do you think you'll be in the cap? Well, I already applied for the license. Have you been given the license? No, but I applied for it. And there's still availability in my zip code. And so I just have this vision. If I can get all this debt paid off. You had a return payment fee on your utility as all. Hey, I'm ambitious. At least I tried to pay. Ambitious three in a row. Tried to pay. You don't have enough money.

Starting point is 01:16:25 account. You think you're going to buy more real estate? You're broken. You're broken. You're broken. You're broken. You're It counts. Shut the fuck up. You're done. You're done. I don't understand. I don't understand how your brain works. You try to do all these ambitious entrepreneurial things, but you can't for your life do anything correct, ever. What is one thing you've done well? Done well? Try. No, your trying has been horrible. You have failed everything you've tried. Okay, but at least I did it. No, you haven't. You're failing. You're failing. I don't give a ship. At least I have that life experience. Like I would rather... You look what your life experience is lost to. 770,000, 263,0.12 cents of debt. I hear you. But I know I can pay it off. I know how to make money.

Starting point is 01:17:08 Girl, you're getting a return payment fees on the last three accounts so far. You know you can pay it off. That is you not paying it. But I made a drastic change. I live in the shitty shithole box apartment. When was that? I moved in August. Okay. Listen, we're in November. I try, but I'm trying. No, trying without any results is not a high five. Fuck you, your trying is failing, meaning you're wrong, you're broken, you can't do anything correct. Okay. If you're trying to quit meth and you can't get off meth, you're not getting a high five for getting off meth.

Starting point is 01:17:40 Maybe I'm, I need to go to, like, Alcoholics Anonymous or Money Addicts Anonymous. You got to have a group you can point me to. You just have to budget. You're trying to do everything other than what is the basic necessity. That is it. But that's like how I was taught. I was taught. I don't give a fuck how you're taught.

Starting point is 01:17:57 I was taught wrong too. I was taught the moment I turn 18 to go max out a credit card to get a piano. That doesn't mean I'm going to be in third. When I'm 37 in seven years, I'm going to still be doing that. You've had a lot of year in adulthood, almost two decades now of adulthood that you could have been figuring. My dad became a doctor. He decided to go to med school at 30. I don't give up.

Starting point is 01:18:15 No, but that means that at any moment I can, I can do something new with my life. Like whatever I believe I can turn it around. Sure, but just waiting. You're 30. He did that at 30. You're 37. Yeah, he didn't become a doctor or physician. Oh, but he went there.

Starting point is 01:18:28 You're not doing anything. You're just trying to, you're just trying to race to wealth. You're not doing the minimum required thing, which is just budgeting. But at least I tried. You know, okay, three failed companies, but at least I tried. Three failed companies? Yeah. I had a sandal company.

Starting point is 01:18:44 I had an app that I got funded. Yeah. What was your app? It was called No Days Off. You can still see the book on Amazon. It's still for sale. But I got into it. A book? It was a book that then we got raised funds at an incubator.

Starting point is 01:18:57 What does the app do? Well, that app failed. What did it do? It was like, I remember P90X? It was like that, but it was like a new trainer, new program. Not a saturated market by any means. Yeah, you know, I had hopes and dreams. How much did you raise from the incubator?

Starting point is 01:19:11 At least 40,000. Not that much, but back in 2015, that was a lot. So it was like the up and coming of apps. Yeah. At least I tried. Yeah, I, but, I was going to, yeah. At least you fucking tried.

Starting point is 01:19:25 I made some really good sand. Yeah. I missed you tried. Okay. And what was the third company? It was Sandals. So I said sandals. Sandals app.

Starting point is 01:19:36 Sandals app and then the Airbnb, like being a realtor. But you're trying to do more Airbnbs. Yeah. You said three have failed, meaning you recognize that it is failed. How are you trying to do more? There was more, there was an Amazon product business. Sandals. How do you even have a sandals company?

Starting point is 01:19:49 What is the Sandals company? What are you doing? It was called Badau. During, Yeah, summer in Portuguese for worldly people. I went to grad school by force of my father. That's another story, but it was my thesis project. So I overtook on my student loans during my MBA,

Starting point is 01:20:06 and I moved to Portugal and used all that money to start a sandal company. Hey, I had it for like four years. It worked. What did you spend on the sandal company? Oh, I couldn't even tell you. My parents gave me money. Oh, 150 to 200,000. What? What age did you do that at?

Starting point is 01:20:32 I was 28. No, 26, no. A whole decade. 27, like 27 to 31. It was the... Okay, we'll call it to 31 then. Yeah. So let's see.

Starting point is 01:20:48 At that point, to get to 65 at 31 would be 34 years old. 65, let's call that retirement. $200,000 is what you spent. Do it 8% conservative. market return to zero dollars at an annual basis, you lost yourself $3 million at retirement. The experience was worth it. Wait, you still owe the factories?

Starting point is 01:21:07 Yeah. So, and that's worth it? No, it's not worth it. It was worth $3 million, and you lost that. But it's the experience. No. That's worth more than a $3 million. No, because the experience would be worth it if you weren't replicating it today,

Starting point is 01:21:18 but you are. So clearly you didn't learn anything from that experience, meaning you are actually even worse off. So, fuck you, you can't just use that as a cope. you. You did not learn from the experience. You're broken. You're wrong. You're destroyed. No. Wasn't that why I'm here? No! No! No!

Starting point is 01:21:33 They're nice sandals. I have a few pairs. If anybody wants some. Do you even have them here? No. They're... Sorry. It's not polite. Bring some to the Airbnb. We'll see her special sandals. And on the Amazon purchases.

Starting point is 01:21:49 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Is this so good? You have student loans. That's the grad school I talked about. Oh, you are ruined. Now, I think I know multiple reasons why no one's willing to reproduce with you. Look how insane this is. $11,021, and $59,000. $118,000.21.59. And what was your grad school? It was more like a...

Starting point is 01:22:17 Oh, she's passed through on her student loans. I got a... No, I'm up to date. No. Is that past due? Yeah. What month is that? November?

Starting point is 01:22:29 Stop your past due. You usually owe $2.76. Yeah, nothing. Any cents. Mm-hmm. Which, by the way, with that payment, is going to take an eternity to pay this off. I'm never going to pay it off.

Starting point is 01:22:40 Because your minimum of the payments would be about $1,500 to pay it off in 10 years. $1,500. This will be paid off when you die, I guess. In my mystery land, I thought I'd use equity to pay it all at once. What was grad school? grad school was awesome. My dad actually...

Starting point is 01:23:00 What did you study in where you absolute fucking beast? No, my dad applied for me. I don't... That's not my question. I studied an MBA. Are you seriously stupid? MBA. You have an MBA.

Starting point is 01:23:10 Mm-hmm. From Sorbonne. It's a really cool program. Three different schools. So one in Brazil. One in France and then Georgia State. France? They don't know business to save their life.

Starting point is 01:23:22 They have like a 10% unemployment rate. France? Yeah. learning for France how to fuck a country and destroy a civilization. France is done by the time we're in our 60s. And smoke cigarettes. Yeah. They know how to dress. Come on.

Starting point is 01:23:37 That's all they focus on. Yeah. Can't do shit. They have a completely collapsing population. Everything's ruined. They have no productivity. Yeah. And any time they tried to actually change their social program structures to give them any kind of longevity, the civilization, they

Starting point is 01:23:53 protest, burn things down, and then they can't make any changes. Yeah, that's where you're getting an NBA? I would fire you the moment I learned that. Strong opinion there. It's not an opinion that is math. That is what is happening in that country. It's impossible to have an opinion on a fact. It is a fact.

Starting point is 01:24:08 Hmm. Okay. You've been there? Yes. Okay. Okay. That's all I got for you. Well done.

Starting point is 01:24:20 I don't agree with your opinion, but we'll leave it there. It's an opinion. Oh, sorry. Your fact. Well, yes. Yeah. Their productivity is stagnated for years. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:24:28 They have to borrow to pay for their social safety nets. They have a declining population. They can't pay for their things. It is mathematically likely to turn into what the UK is right now within about two decades. And by the time we are retired, France today will not be what France has been known the best 100 years. I think that is not an opinion. Okay. But they're happy.

Starting point is 01:24:51 They live different lives. They're happy right now because they're funding it all with debt. Their debt to income ratio is 110%. debt to GDP ratio. Now, we're able to do that in the United States because no one's going to fuck with us. World River Reserve currency. No one's going to fuck with us.

Starting point is 01:25:08 France, they can't maintain that. That's going to be the new Greece. They're going to have to get a bailout from the UK from the European Union. But an economy that is like the third largest or second largest in the EU compared to Greece it's going to destroy the whole thing. Good luck. Yes, they're happy now because they're funding

Starting point is 01:25:23 not going to be happy when they can't pay for it anymore and the whole social safety net collapses. They're 10-week vacation. That's what happens with the UK right now. Now they can't afford any of it anymore. It's completely destroyed. They're having a brain drain in every way possible. All skilled people are leaving.

Starting point is 01:25:38 Unskilled to come in. They can't afford shit. And now the NHS is being absolutely destroyed. A social program that makes them happy now is not funded in your f*** medically. Worse care. Worst cancer care there than many places in South America in the UK right now. That's what happens. Happy?

Starting point is 01:25:53 Fuck you. It won't be happy in about 20 years. It doesn't work. Wishing you could be there. live for the big game, soaking up the atmosphere in the crowd. But too often, life gets busy. Or the price holds you back. Priceline is here to help you make it happen. With millions of deals on flights, hotels, and rental cars, you can go see the game live. Don't just dream about the trip. Book it with Priceline.

Starting point is 01:26:23 Download the Priceline app or visit Priceline.com. Actual prices may vary, limited time offer. What is this $26,510. $68 of loan balance with Credit Union of Texas? It's a nice car. That's what it is. Yeah, you know, I was a new realtor, and I wanted a drop-top Mercedes-convertible. Oh, you're the worst.

Starting point is 01:26:42 I had to paint the image. Mercedes? Mercedes-what? It's outside. So it's only 2018, but it looks nice. Night edition. All black. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:26:52 What do you think it's worth? Nothing. 20 grand? 23. So at least your negative equity is only a few thousand. you're actually kind of lucky on that. In fact, what I would do if you're really trying to speed this up is sell it, borrow the difference,

Starting point is 01:27:04 and get a $10,000 car on debt. That's what I would do. You don't do any real-it or stuff anyway, so it doesn't fucking matter. Shut the fuck up. Oh, what's that's a... The house on the car you can't touch. No, no.

Starting point is 01:27:20 Why are we having this conversation if you're not willing to make any sacrifices? I don't get it. You're not willing to do anything. You know you have a problem. You try to do quick, get rich quick, and not make any sacrifices, not willing to get rid of things that you like in order to live a better life, you're going to be forever. You're a disaster. You are a literal walking disaster and no shit no one's willing to settle down with you.

Starting point is 01:27:45 Are you surprised I'm not? Maybe I just need to make more, right? No, no. Dude, you already make a quarter million. You make a quarter million. You make a quarter million. You make $400,000. You make $400,000.

Starting point is 01:27:56 No, you make. And then I can support this. I have a newer car. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. You make three times the median household income in the United States. You are worse off than the median household in the United States. Because if you make more, if you get a 10% raise, you will raise your spending by 15%.

Starting point is 01:28:12 That is how people like, yes, you can't say no. You make a quarter million dollars, if not more. And you have f***ed it. Your mortgage is a third of your net income. And yet you f*** it. This is all no. No, no, you cannot earn your way out of this. you are ruined.

Starting point is 01:28:30 You are ruined. And you're not willing to sacrifice to do shit. You're not willing to get rid of a car that's honestly not even that nice. I'm in the shit hole apartment though. You know, that's a sacrifice. Kind of, but that was just so you can keep your house

Starting point is 01:28:44 because you're not willing to sacrifice your house. Yeah. So that's not a sacrifice in my book. So the car's got to go, huh? It's a way to get there quicker. What's your minimum fee payment on this car? Because I can't even find it. It's $5.90.

Starting point is 01:28:57 Yeah, $5.000. I bought it during COVID where you didn't have to pay for the first six months. No, your interest rate is fine at 4.3.3%. Yeah. But the thing is, it's a late charge late. Too late. Hey, they gave me a little payment. They gave me a month off back in August.

Starting point is 01:29:16 A no payment. Quarter million dollars and nothing. See, I'm getting ahead. You've talked about your mother in the past tense. Is she not with us anymore? No, she's with us. And dad? Dad's here.

Starting point is 01:29:25 They must be desperately disappointed. That's what the NBA was for. They're like, just go get this and you're not a problem. What? What? But you paid for it with your student loans? No, they, it was more than that. That school was almost 180, 190.

Starting point is 01:29:39 They made me sell. Do you have siblings? I have one brother. Oh, thank goodness. Please tell me he's doing okay. He's doing better. He's doing better. I'm glad they have something to lean on because you are the worst version of a child other than a drug addict.

Starting point is 01:29:51 Because you're just, you're addicted to horrible ambition because you have ambition. That is not a bad thing. but you can't do shit. You can't figure shit out. You're not willing to do the minimum things that are required to do anything. You want to jump right to the end goal of being this massive Airbnb empire,

Starting point is 01:30:08 but you can't do shit. Sandals, fuck off. F*** off, Sammas. I don't even remember the other thing you did. It was so stupid. And then real, like, just fuck off. Okay. I mean, you're right to have your opinions.

Starting point is 01:30:24 I still don't agree. Why? Why don't you agree? What is there going for you? For me, it all still comes back. the experience. No, experience is learning

Starting point is 01:30:32 based on it and then putting in actions in the future. You haven't learned from anything. Look what you're doing today. You're not willing to give up your house. You're not willing to give up your car. You're not willing to give up your car. Fuck you experience.

Starting point is 01:30:41 That's how they become valuable. Yours are not valuable because you're not doing shit. You're repeating the same mistakes over and over again for two decades now. I turned off the cards. I moved into a smaller apartment. That's compromised. You got the cards turned off on you

Starting point is 01:30:52 because you're fucking maxed out. I called and I did it. Not all of them. The two. Yeah. And then you have late feet. on all the other ones. Hey, at least I tried to pay.

Starting point is 01:31:01 Tried. This word tried with you. You haven't tried shit. You... I don't see a way out. I really don't. If I don't get that job in January, I'm screwed.

Starting point is 01:31:12 No. With the job, you're screwed. Without the job, you're... Hmm. That's all your dad? Okay. She's overdraft in her checking account $174 overdraft fee this year so far,

Starting point is 01:31:23 making a quarter million dollars. I don't... I don't get this. I'm sorry. Travel, customs travel, Amazon, oh my gosh, oh my goodness, coffee and eating Zaline, Venmoing, Venmoing, going in and getting some bullshit. What are you going in and getting some bullshit for a few dollars for when you stop somewhere? Like a gas station or an H-EB. What are you getting?

Starting point is 01:31:41 Snacks. Convenience. Stop buying bulk. Beauty bar. Not helping you get laid. Venmo, Amazon, Amazon, bullshit. Yeah, I had a vapor. Primal.

Starting point is 01:31:58 Medici coffee. You have a what? I had a vape problem. Had? Had? Had? It slowed down. We're on tantics.

Starting point is 01:32:06 Yeah, Medici, see? Nice. Awesome. I think I'm doing great. How negative is that? You think you're doing great? How negative is it? You think you're doing great?

Starting point is 01:32:17 Let me fuck you. What am I doing here? What am I doing here? What am I doing here? What am I doing here? You think you to help me see? You think you're doing great. You're not willing to budge you.

Starting point is 01:32:28 anything, you're not willing to sacrifice anything, you're continuing your ambition of stupidity and being defensive about everything thinking your experiences have been actually worth it. You're not learning shit, you're not doing shit. You're a failure and you're disgusting as a human being making 250,000 hours a year. Other people can only dream of that and yet you're destroying it. You're throwing it away and you're milking the system. You're going to use bankruptcy as a legal as a legal offering that is there to actually help people at you, but you just lived up life and you're just going to throw it away. Throw it away. abused the system.

Starting point is 01:32:58 Look at all bullshit spending, ladies and gentlemen. All bullshit spending, the Hampton Social, die. All bullshit spending all... Look at guys. Guys, look at all this.

Starting point is 01:33:11 Look at all this. Can't be that bad. Shut the fuck up. I'm done. Look at all this. Bull Queen, fuck you. Monarch, fuck you.

Starting point is 01:33:18 Fuck you. Monarch, especially, $2. Dollar-wise is better. Fuck you, fuck you. All this bullshit. All this bullshit. All this bullshit.

Starting point is 01:33:27 Look at all. Look, guys, just look at all this. What a joke, what a joke. What a joke? What a joke? Shut up. Stubhubs, just die. Look at all, guys, all this, all this, instead of actually paying her mortgage,

Starting point is 01:33:39 she deserves to lose the house. I hope they take it from her. All this bullshit. She's not willing to change anything. All this bullshit. Spoff, fuck you. Look at smoking vape. All this bullshit.

Starting point is 01:33:47 Guys, another whole page. Norton. Fuck you die. Car wash, you die. Uber eats, Uber eats. Die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die. Die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die. That you're great.

Starting point is 01:33:58 Oh, that keeps going. If I was dating someone, maybe he'd buy, cover the food. This is so fucking stupid. Look at all this bullshit. Look at all this stupid Nordso. I had to look good for work. I had to fly to San Francisco. $50,000 or Rothair at 60.

Starting point is 01:34:14 That's not bad. That's not bad. You are so far behind. You're so fucking. And you're not willing to sacrifice. And I'm, I, there is no point of me continuing this conversation or doing anything. Okay? Because you're just fucking done.

Starting point is 01:34:28 You have no hope. You're a failure. You disgust me as a human being. I hope you do better. Good the fuck. I hope you, whatever. Well, listen,

Starting point is 01:34:35 the post show is going to be looking at her Airbnb and I'm, oh good, you actually owe tax money too. We'll talk about that in the post show because I'm so fucking done right now. Click that join button to join the post show. Three premium shows every single day.

Starting point is 01:34:49 Hammer financial scores. Thank you. Hammer financial scores. All right. We starting fresh. Okay. Sorry, hello. I'll see you guys there.

Starting point is 01:35:01 A wingstop box has been sitting there. Don't ask me how I know that it's a wingstop box. Oh, and the fully filled gutters. And the rotting pumpkin. Oh, because you don't live here. No. Who's spending all the time watering these plants? I have someone come and do it, and I pay $100 a month.

Starting point is 01:35:12 You budget that in. I sure do it. You spend money on that. No back neighbors. No black neighbors? No back. Back. Okay.

Starting point is 01:35:21 Okay. Join us Saturday, January 31st for Hammer Elite Day. A five-hour live stream featuring all of your favorite shows, but done live with you. See you there. Enjoy more ways to save at Ralph's, like low prices in every aisle. And when you download the Ralph's app, you can clip and save more with digital coupons every week. Plus, you can earn fuel points to save up to $1 per gallon at the pump. At Ralph's, you can enjoy more ways to save and more rewards every time you shop.

Starting point is 01:35:53 So it's always easy to save big every day with savings and money. rewards. Ralph's SoCal for over 150 years. Savings may vary by state. Fuel restrictions apply. C-Sight for details.

Financial Audit - The $770,000 Boob Job | Financial Audit

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