Financial Audit - The Most Hated Person In Financial Audit History

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Starting point is 00:01:04 You want to know an answer to a question? Maybe shut the fuck up. And you're giggling about it. You don't care. You're obnoxious. Frontal lobe. Are you going to do the 25 frontal lobe thing? It actually is 28.

Starting point is 00:01:13 It's person to person, first of all. I nominate myself as a 28. I'm a nominate you as . I think you're saying this because your frontal lobe is still developing. You're annoying. You didn't even look at this little slipper. I don't give a f***. You're annoying.

Starting point is 00:01:25 You're obnoxious. You're not funny. You're not cute. Just taking everything in my power not to kick you the fuck off. You have no idea. Black Friday starts now. Master your money. My only one personal finance membership is finally live.

Starting point is 00:01:40 It is every single course I've ever made. Exclusive content and a member's only community. Click the link below and become the member of the best money membership on the planet. I'll see you inside. Hi, my name's Nova. I'm 30 years old from Sacramento, California, and this is financial audit. Thanks for coming over, California. Not cheap. Sacramento, I don't know as much about, honestly, than many of the other places,

Starting point is 00:02:04 but I'm going to assume not cheap. It almost never is. So I hope you do well there. You know, I'm just going to be candid out of the gate. I didn't even say anything to you about this until we sat down. And I always like to call it out, but my. My absolute goodness. What are you doing? This is insane. It never conveys over the camera. you know, like it does here in person. But I hold many different stacks of paperwork, ladies and gentlemen. And this is insane. I can afford it, though.

Starting point is 00:02:36 It's fine. Oh, yeah? That's unsure why you're on this show. We're the same age. I couldn't imagine. Whatever the fuck this, whatever's in here. Because I don't know. I come in blind to the audience.

Starting point is 00:02:48 Whatever the fuck is in here. This blows my mind how thick this is. So I hope you make money. What do you do for a living in Sacramento? I am a photographer. I please tell me you are known. I am a very talented photographer. Does that talent convert into money?

Starting point is 00:03:09 It does actually. How much do you make? It depends. I don't really look that much. I just know my card swipes. It could be like, I don't know. On a good month? How about it's talk a normal month?

Starting point is 00:03:25 A normal month? I don't know. It could be like 8,000, 10,000, 11,000. 12,000. Really? Yeah. Well, okay, first of all, that's a range. You started with 8 to 12.

Starting point is 00:03:36 We said normal. Yeah. Ebs and flows, I said normal. Is normal if you said 8 to 12, are we talking normal 10? I mean, is... 120 a year? Yeah, I hit six figures last year. In photography.

Starting point is 00:03:48 Yeah. That's incredible. Yeah. That's incredible. We've had a lot of people who want to make a living in the arts in this show. Yeah. How'd you fuck it? Because you wouldn't be on this show.

Starting point is 00:03:59 Fun fact. spoiler. If you weren't in that stack of paperwork is insane. In fact, I look down and I'm probably not going into it right away, if I'm being honest, because I want to get to know you a little more first. But I see the IRS logo as the first thing right sitting on top of the stack. So why fumble the bag? Because so many people come out on the show and they want to be the successful artist.

Starting point is 00:04:22 And you actually did it. You did it. Three and a half years of this, only a couple people did it. Yeah, did it. You f***ed it. Why? Like I said, it ebbs and flows. It ebbs and flows, but why'd you f*** it?

Starting point is 00:04:34 I didn't know as much about being an artist when I was younger. Okay, you're not younger. You're here where you are right now at 30. What's younger to you? 29? I started at like 19. Okay. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:04:46 Yeah, but 19-year-old mistakes shouldn't really, truly be affecting you too much at 30. A bank prepsy would be cleared. Collections would be gone. Repos would be off the record. why I'm here. We're going to work on it together. We are working on it together. This is why you're here is why you answer questions. You're here to answer questions. So try to answer the question that I am trying to ask. Sorry, not to come off too combative, but that's not an answer. That's...

Starting point is 00:05:15 Yeah, I did mess up. Yes, but I'm trying to understand. You're saying, yeah, you messed up at 19, but that shouldn't really be affecting you too much right now. Yeah. So I don't feel like that is a valid reason for why you're here. Yeah. So basically, basically, I just started making more and more money. I just kept spending it. That's the root of the issue. Yeah, but clearly not paying your taxes if I see that logo.

Starting point is 00:05:41 I started living an upper class lifestyle without like handling my past. Which maybe you could do in the middle of Kansas, Sacramento. I'm not 100% sure on six figures without setting enough money aside for taxes. Did you set money aside for taxes? No. Ever. No. No.

Starting point is 00:05:57 No. No. Okay, I understand the first couple of years, maybe you'd get up a little, but you'd learn. I was getting money back. Wait, when did you start doing well? Like three years now? Okay. When was the last time you got money back from your filing?

Starting point is 00:06:14 You file every year? Yeah. When are the last time you got money back from your filing? Like three years ago. What do you do? What's your photography? I photograph kids. Huh?

Starting point is 00:06:29 Can you say that? in a different way. You don't want to say you shoot kids. I photograph... I wouldn't want to say that either. Yeah. I photograph kids. But maybe some context would go a long way.

Starting point is 00:06:40 I mean, more specifically... I want you to say exactly what you intend to say, because I'm not saying anything. I want you to say these words. Yeah, I photograph kids. Most specifically, I photograph dancers. Okay, it sounds a little better. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:06:57 My job is I'm a dance photographer. Can you just say that? My goodness. Come on. Come on. I photograph kids versus I'm a dance photographer. Yes. Come on.

Starting point is 00:07:10 I'm a dance photographer. There you go. Please answer that whenever anyone ask you in the future. No? Well, I try to be like so specific because yeah, if you say like nowadays... Dance photographer is more specific. But I only... Because I don't want people to think I shoot adults.

Starting point is 00:07:27 I don't like... That's fine. Yeah. I have to say... Kids. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Starting point is 00:07:34 We're getting there together. Are you contract? Are you on like a payroll here? I work for myself. You work for yourself? Yes. And is this per shoot? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:07:43 Why were you the winner? I'm really good at what I do. Mm-hmm. Good. I love that. I mean, I would... I'm like one of the best, but a lot of people

Starting point is 00:07:50 don't like me for that reason. Why? Because I'm one of the best. Well, you mean other photographers don't like you for that reason? Yeah. I don't care. Who cares?

Starting point is 00:07:56 Yeah. I'm really good. I don't give a shit. The lion is. doesn't... What is the... Something like that. The lioness doesn't concern herself

Starting point is 00:08:06 with the... Okay. I... Never mind. I just... I can't remember any part of that. Yeah, what? I don't give a... Yeah, you're more successful than people.

Starting point is 00:08:20 Obviously, they're going to be petty and annoying. I don't really care. But then you're also probably giving them a W right now by being on this show showing that you completely fumbled the bag. Yeah. I think it's going to be educational. That's the half of your time of year. Well, it absolutely will be.

Starting point is 00:08:36 So people can't make my same mistake. Well, I agree with that. And I would like you to do better. But either way, the people that cheered against you, again, you got the win. But you fumbled that. You threw it away. I did. Yeah. So. But I mean, as much as I may give myself like six months, honestly, if I really set my mind to it and I can fix it. Uh-huh, yeah, I've heard that about every episode in the show's history. Maybe even three. I think after...

Starting point is 00:09:05 How much debt do you have? It ups and flows, I'm sure. How much debt do you have? I don't know, like 8,000? Then how could you tell me it could be done in six months if you don't know how much debt you have? Because that would factor into the math. I make a lot. Sure, you make a lot.

Starting point is 00:09:20 You don't send enough money aside for tax. You don't say any money aside for taxes as far as I'm concerned. Honestly, I don't even know. You spend all your money self-confessed, and this is an evident. flow job who knows when it might ebb Yeah Yeah

Starting point is 00:09:34 And you say $8,000 a debt Yeah So 8,000 hours of debt in six months We can pay off But like if you think about it So 8,000 hours of debt In six months To pay off

Starting point is 00:09:44 Yeah You can do that Yeah Okay well obviously It's 47,128 dollars of debt So I don't know what you mean six months If it takes eight months

Starting point is 00:09:55 To pay off $6,000 dollars a debt do the mathematical equation, how long does it take to pay a 47,000? I don't know, like three years. Four? But I could work harder. That's the thing.

Starting point is 00:10:12 That's the cool thing about working for yourself. It is, but that relies on you being more disciplined, not living that upper-class lifestyle, like you said you immediately did when she started to make more money. This is my reality check. Yeah, great. Yeah, you're saying all the correct words.

Starting point is 00:10:24 But that's not, that doesn't mean that you're, Or, this is reality check, but you actually have to put... Own it all. Pay off your home, travel for life, drive a Ferrari. In celebration of the world premiere of the Monopoly Big Board Buckslot machine by Aristocrat Gaming, Yamava Resort and Casino at San Manuel is giving one person a $1.6 million dream package.

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Starting point is 00:11:01 No, I am. I'm not like other people on your show. I'm going to take this so seriously. Why? Why are you different? It's just like my finances are kind of a mess right now because like, okay, so when I started this, everything just goes into one account. Like I don't pay myself or anything. Nobody taught me how to like handle it. So like all my photography money just goes into like one huge thing and I don't like know how to pay myself or like actually set money aside for like taxes. stuff. That's the root of my issue. Right? So you know what's happening? Why the fuck I spend my photography money.

Starting point is 00:11:33 Very good. You know what's happening. Why the don't you fix it? How do you fix it? You said you know everything that's going wrong. So you Like, okay, when people say they pay them Okay, I read so much advice online and they're like, oh, you have to pay yourself as a photographer. You can't just like spend that money. How do you pay yourself?

Starting point is 00:11:51 What do you mean? What's the question? How do you pay yourself? Specifically with the money you're coming, that's coming in. Yeah, like, am I supposed to like, I don't know, like, only put in like $100 or something? You're talking, taking from your business account to your personal. It all just goes into one account. Okay, well, one, there you go. There's an issue.

Starting point is 00:12:11 Do you have an LLC? No. You never made an LLC. You've been in this for 11 years. My tax person said it would probably be better to stay as a sole proprietor. But to be honest, I found him on Craigslist. I don't know if that's right. Well, not only that, but it would be the same thing.

Starting point is 00:12:26 LLC is just a funnel essentially, helping you keep things separate. And a couple legal protections as well. Mm-hmm. I'm not reading. Huh? I'm not reading. I'm a sole proprietor. I know.

Starting point is 00:12:40 Yeah, that's good, right? You still would be. Okay. Okay. Okay, either way, yes, get an LLC. Create a business checking account that's attached to your LLC. Well, I have a business checking account. Okay, what the fuck?

Starting point is 00:12:56 you talking about that? You just said... I just... Why? Why does everything come into one instead of going into there? No, everything goes into my business checking. So you spend personal out of your business checking?

Starting point is 00:13:05 Yes. That's monic. That's so stupid. Create a separate checking account for yourself. Okay. Budget. Your business. Figure out what you're spending on business expenses.

Starting point is 00:13:18 Yeah. You can distribute profits. Maybe leave $10,000 in there as some wiggle room. Distribute your profits at the end of the month. to you and set 30% aside for taxes. Is that complicated? Oh, like at the end of the month, but then like if I need money to spend

Starting point is 00:13:33 on the other days. Uh-huh. It's after you've distributed at the end of the month, that next month you spend what's in your personal checking account that was distributed at the end of last month. That doesn't seem as fun though.

Starting point is 00:13:44 Well, it's not about fun because we're not children. You're 30 and you're trying to... Because there's always going to be more money in my photography business account. Not necessarily because you'll distribute your profit. which should be pretty much 100% other than maybe some gas that you do traveling to events,

Starting point is 00:14:04 maybe a little bit of food. Is now a good time to tell you, I built a travel photography business, so I have to fly in order to work. I don't work in Sacramento. Oh, well, yeah, that's going to be a lot more expenses. Yeah. That's going to be a lot more expenses. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:14:21 And obviously you take, again, your distributions after that. Yeah, that's what I'm really bad at. Yeah, but you know how much you spend in a month, right? In your business? No, I've never... Well, no, no, no. You can sit down at the end of the month and see what you spent. I could.

Starting point is 00:14:34 I mean, really, it should be like towards like the first or second week of the next month, look previous. See what you spend? It's just like one of those things where like I'm never like... I don't track. I don't know how much comes in. Dude, even if you're not tracking, let's say 10,000 hours is our baseline in our checking account. Next month, call it the second week of the next month, first week of the next month. whatever's above 10,000 hours you can take out if you want to be overly simplistic of it

Starting point is 00:14:58 and then put 30% of that aside that you take out. There you go. That was like a one-step process. Two-step. But I don't know how much my business is going to cost to run that month because it's like so... Okay, then take your highest expense month. Leave that amount in your business checking account at all times. Anything above that you can take out. Anything you take out set 30% aside. You can take it out multiple times a month if you want to. If we're just going overly simplistic. Do you want to hear a funny story? No, not particularly. Okay.

Starting point is 00:15:30 But apparently your card was declined yesterday because you didn't even know. I didn't know it was a bank holiday yesterday. I thought like wasn't Columbus Day canceled or something? Why are we still celebrating it? Did your card was declined? That doesn't make any sense. Why would a card be declined? Because I used that business account for everything.

Starting point is 00:15:47 And so like... Dude, I was using my business account yesterday. It wasn't declined. What are you talking about? No, because I... Okay, so Sunday night, I got the email saying, oh, you're going to get this much

Starting point is 00:15:55 deposited tomorrow based off what I made this weekend. But it wasn't deposited. Oh, because of the holiday. Yeah. So you're relying on deposits to deposits just for frivolous spending? For fun stuff, yeah. If 10,000...

Starting point is 00:16:07 Listen, you're doing okay. You're making $120,000 a year. Okay? Before expenses. I don't know what your expenses are. We're going to look through it. But even still, this doesn't a hundred... I don't understand...

Starting point is 00:16:20 You're not living like an incredibly woo-woo super rich lifestyle in Sacramento. You're not going to on 120 at before expenses, before expenses. And I'm guessing, what is that? 20, 30 a year maybe. I don't know. Flights can be expensive.

Starting point is 00:16:36 Hotels can be expensive, especially depending on how you're trying to do it. Just not living a poor lifestyle either. So you shouldn't be distribution to or like pay to pay to pay in order to just make a small frivolous spend. It's because I was in Alaska this past weekend. So I spent...

Starting point is 00:16:50 But for business. Yeah. But then I like to treat myself when I go on these business trips. No, that doesn't make any sense. Why would we be treating on business trips? Also, do you know that? Treat yourself on your vacations. No, I don't take vacations.

Starting point is 00:17:02 What does treat yourself in Alaska look like? Well, you know, Alaska's expensive. I spent like $60 on Chal Main. Okay. Did it make sense to take the job? Did you break even? Did you even make money? Usually I profit.

Starting point is 00:17:16 This one, it's Alaska. Like, there's not that many dancers. Then we're not taking Alaskan jobs. But I wanted to go. So it was a work trip and a vacation. Okay, you just said you didn't take vacations. No, no, no, no, I don't. But this was a break-even.

Starting point is 00:17:29 And if you wanted to use the break-even to go somewhere you wanted to go, that's fine. But if it's literally just for business, obviously it's not. We don't go for just break-even when you could have used that time making a profit somewhere else. I think I lost money, especially after the chum-in. And I spent $50 to rent a bike. Even still, I will say it's okay to slightly lose money if you use that as a way to subsidize a vacation. Yeah. I'm okay with that.

Starting point is 00:17:53 I saw a moose. But let's not call it not a vacation. It was a vacation. If it's a strictly business opportunity, then that it was shit and dumb and you should have done something else. I consider any time I bring my camera a work trip. Which, okay, yeah, the IRS

Starting point is 00:18:08 might have some fun with that at some point. If we're being honest. People don't really understand deductions too much in this country. You think you can just write things off. So I bought my camera, and I did take photos. Well, that would be business. Buying a camera for your business

Starting point is 00:18:22 would be business. I brought my camera to Alaska and I took photos of dancers so it was a work trip. This is a great year to do with 100% depreciation. Absolutely. There's a lot of advantages

Starting point is 00:18:33 that you could be taking advantage of right now with equipment for this year specifically. Yeah. I'm learning that. That your CPA will help you with. But apparently you don't work with the CPA.

Starting point is 00:18:46 You got a Craigslist guy that told you something once. He did tell me about depreciation. Okay, he told you something about Okay. I wrote off my printer. Yeah, and that would probably make sense.

Starting point is 00:18:56 Yeah. To a certain extent. But he also said we got to be careful not to like, because now that the IRS, they might like pay more attention to me now that I'm like. Why you? Because like I'm a business owner. Yeah, but a lower income on the business owning threshold. So usually you wouldn't be in the, you know, gaze of Sauron.

Starting point is 00:19:17 Wait, aren't I like high income? I don't know. What's high in America? As far as an overall business? No, not necessarily. What if they're auditing a person in a business? Like, I mean, usually with, I mean, they have more limited resources for what it's worth. So they go after like the big bucks.

Starting point is 00:19:35 Is now a good time to tell you that I was audited? Oh, okay. So they did. You must have triggered something. I did, yes. What did you do? That's insane. I haven't had someone audited on this show.

Starting point is 00:19:46 Really? See, I was so special. They like, okay, it wasn't my. my fault, actually. Uh-huh, of course. So, one, I didn't know photographers had to pay taxes. Nobody told me that. You want to continue.

Starting point is 00:19:58 I was little. Little? I was... Girl, you've never been little in your life. Okay, two, I guess like in California, if you make more than $600 through PayPal, which of course I am, you have to report it. First of all, that's everywhere. That's the IRS, but also probably their state taxes as well.

Starting point is 00:20:15 California likes their money, yes. California loves their money. So... Yes. Number two, let's get on the number three. If you make more than $600, you have to report it. I wasn't reporting PayPal. Yep, okay.

Starting point is 00:20:27 I wasn't reporting PayPal. Of course not. Of course, now on PayPal, Venmo, cash app, they have statements for end of year for taxes. Literally, if you just looked at it, you would have been able to submit it and you're, okay, whatever. Yes. So they told on me. PayPal told on you, yes, because, yeah, of course. Again, they create the end of year reports for you.

Starting point is 00:20:48 So you did trigger it. It's not your fault. What do you mean? It's not your fault. That was your fault. But it just like randomly happens. Like it was never an issue before. You know the 600 thing is a relatively new rule from a couple years ago. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:21:00 And this was a couple years ago. Exactly. But like, I don't. And your CPA didn't tell you. I don't even know how much it did I make. Like it ebbs and flows. No, I didn't have a CPA back then. I was doing it myself.

Starting point is 00:21:11 That doesn't make any sense. But you didn't know anything. Why would you do something that you know nothing about? What do you mean? I just started a business. And then it started making more and more money. it just like snowballed. Yes, I agree, but that's usually when you reach out for help, when you don't know something.

Starting point is 00:21:27 You didn't fear the tax situation. I didn't know how, I didn't know how extreme it was. And then yeah, they- Extreme? You don't think they want their money, the people, the guns? Okay, so anyway, plus when I did get audited, it was like over COVID. Nobody was like even going outside. I was- Well, I believe they had increased IRS funding during that time. I think the Inflation Reduction Act had more IRS funding.

Starting point is 00:21:52 They had more resources to go after you. If I'm not mistaken, maybe it came from a different bill. That actually would make sense. Uh-huh. So, like, I was like inside. I wasn't even shooting. Everyone was inside. And then, yeah, I got like a little audit.

Starting point is 00:22:05 Okay, tell me about the audit, dude. My goodness. Okay. I mean, what do you mean? It's an audit. It's an audit. It's an audit. Congratulations.

Starting point is 00:22:15 This is a calculator. I can tell you things about it, though. can describe the buttons and what it does. Tell me about the fucking audit, dude. Oh my goodness. What a miserable conversation. You're incapable of answering questions. No, step one got audited.

Starting point is 00:22:28 So, step two. Then I did go on Craigslist and I looked for someone to help me. And step three, they basically said, you already got audited. You don't want to like, go around, just pay it. That was it?

Starting point is 00:22:41 They just said you owe more money. Are you sure you even got audited? No, I know I got audited. No, I don't think you got audited. No, I don't think you got... Did they have you sent over years of documentation? No, they already had the documentation from PayPal. You moron, you were not audited.

Starting point is 00:22:56 You were just told you owed more money. You actual creature. Wait. You were never audited. No, I think I was awesome. No, you were not audited. I had to go back and refile. Yes, PayPal.

Starting point is 00:23:09 Yes, because you did it incorrectly. You weren't audited. I think I was. No. If they garnish reach, isn't... that auditing? Not necessarily. Garnish wages? Who they garnish from? Look, private student loans can make you feel like you're one miss payment away from selling your grandma's hairlums. We miss you, grandma. Why Rify says, chill out. No more sacrificing the family jewels. They don't reduce you to a

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Starting point is 00:25:16 You get money. I get money. Enjoy! Links are in the description below. I was working. So you had a job. Yeah. No, listen, again, obviously payment collectors...

Starting point is 00:25:25 I got a letter. Someone knocked on my door. Hey, you want to know an answer to a question? Maybe shut the fuck off. I should tell myself that sometimes, but you just don't answer questions, so I'm going to interrupt you either way. Listen.

Starting point is 00:25:37 They knocked on my door. Uh-huh. But, okay, listen, if you were able to answer questions and tell me what happened throughout the auditing process, maybe I would say, yes, you got audited. I don't know. It sounds like to me that the payment services that you use, like PayPal, you know, reported to the IRS, just as they do every single year, and they gave you your end of your statements.

Starting point is 00:25:57 You filed incorrectly and then said, hey, you owe me more money. No, it wasn't like that. Okay. Then tell me what. Okay. Literally, if you were able to just tell me what the fuck happened, I would just be able to listen and no. You're incapable of actually giving details for anything. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:26:10 I'm going to do better this year. Six months. It's $8,000 to debt. Oh, I was audited. What were you audited? It was in on it. Shut the fuck off. How would you actually tell me something?

Starting point is 00:26:19 Oh my goodness, I'm sorry. I'm coming in hot, but this is... Nothing will annoy me more than someone who literally just can't say something. Okay. Answer. I was... They had me go back to every year and redo it. Okay.

Starting point is 00:26:33 It wasn't just the previous year. Okay, so they were asking for a lot of detailed documentation. Yes. Good. Thank you. How long does that take? And you did that yourself without the help of anyone? No, I did pay the craceless person.

Starting point is 00:26:46 Okay. Okay. So, but she said you really, once you already... Who's she? Craigslist or IRS? The Craigslist person. She said once you already get audited, you don't want to fuck around too much and it's better to just pay. Because even if, like, so let's say like, oh, in 2018 I brought my camera, I did this, this. She's like, you don't want to go and try to do a bunch of write-offs because they're going to be really looking at every single write-off.

Starting point is 00:27:12 Agreed. So she said it's better to just suck it up and pay it. Agreed. And then fix it in the future. Agreed? So. Like amended in the future? No.

Starting point is 00:27:22 Like post audit? She said don't. She said don't. The last years. I would agree with that. Yeah. She said don't try to. The more you do now is like they're going to be at a microscope looking at it. Absolutely.

Starting point is 00:27:31 Yeah. So but now for like 2023, I broke even because then I learned about the write-offs. Did you do them correctly though? If they gazed their eyes on you, will they be like, actually this is not a write-off? because what most people think is like write-offs and deductions aren't always 100% true. Well, I took her advice and then I... Her advice or did she do the taxes for you? Because she would do it correctly.

Starting point is 00:27:52 Actually, some CPAs don't even do it correctly. Yeah, she did those. She re-did it. No, you're 2023. No, then I got a second Craigslist because once she did it, I still owed so much money. I still owed so much money. Probably correctly. And then you had someone come in and do what you wanted to almost illegally eliminate expenses.

Starting point is 00:28:12 Work smarter, not harder. You might be audited. again. No, I think I'm smooth sailing now. Why? Well, and then this year I owed money because now I make so much. Uh-huh. So I have to be doing it right if I'm still owing money. So do you owe from the audit still? I'm working on it. That means yes. When you answer that question, the answer is yes. Fittle. Oh my goodness. It ebbs and flows, though. Am I grumpy or are you incapable of answering? I can't tell. Sometimes I don't know. No, it ebbs and flows. I've been working on paying it. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. I don't like you. Okay. It abs and

Starting point is 00:28:44 flows, you're just like, dude, I swear, just put it in a fucking coin and you pop out like five catchphrases. That's so cute. It's so cute. We all love it. Ambition comes in all shapes and sizes. At First Citizens Bank, we roll with your goals

Starting point is 00:29:02 because we're built for what you're building. Fit for your ambition for Citizens Bank. Are you thinking... She still dodges their calls? Whose calls? IRS? Are they calls? Okay. Backstory. No, backstory. I hope there's details in this.

Starting point is 00:29:22 My wages were garnishing because I was working. Yes, fair. Good. And then when I left that job, they had nothing to garnish. But they still wanted their money. Uh-huh. I'm going to pay in taxes. Then they knocked on my door with saying, like, you have to pay this and we're canceling your payment plan because you're not making the payments. But I didn't answer the door so that they can't prove that I ever got the letter. Dude, this is the IRS. This isn't some random law firm, though. Work smarter, not smarter. No, no, no, no.

Starting point is 00:29:49 Who did you consult for that? What do you mean? I just didn't answer the door. Exactly. So you didn't try to get advice from any kind of expert that would say to do that. No, I'm going to pay it, though. I don't need advice. I don't need advice.

Starting point is 00:30:00 I'm going to pay it. I hope so, but what they could, could, could, might not. Again, you're lower on the scale. Oh, yeah, no, you're right. My CPA person did say, like, especially in California, they are, they will, like, they will boot your car. Yes, they could do a lot of things, but they could also, if you go back to, to employers that are employing you for these photography teams multiple times and they see that,

Starting point is 00:30:20 they could go to them and they could garnish your wages from that before it hits you. There's a lot of things they can do. They have all the power in the world. Honestly, it's easier if they just take it. Yes, it is. And maybe they should if they're listening because you're an irresponsible brat. Listen, if I have to pay millions in taxes

Starting point is 00:30:35 that I could be investing in the business or doing whatever I want to live in my life because apparently you've got to pay like 50% to me and kill myself, at least pay like you're 25. Don't be it. I told you I'm working on it. No.

Starting point is 00:30:50 Okay, she's working on it. Very good. We know how much came in last month. It was about that 10. That's great. How much did you spend? Wait, what was last month? Like September?

Starting point is 00:31:01 About 10. Last month was September. What did I do last month? It could be up there. I don't know where there is. Oh, I think I went to a basketball game last month, so it could be up there. Yeah, basketball games, notoriously thousands of dollars. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:31:18 How much she did you? think you spent? You absolute answer the fucking question. Well, probably. There is nothing. Basketball means nothing. Oh, up is nothing.

Starting point is 00:31:31 I probably spent a lot last month, like 10, 12, $15,000. Wow. Okay, big range. Yeah, it was $19,6808. And you're giggling about it. You don't care. You're obnoxious. What is wrong with you? As just a person? I went to Seattle last month. What is wrong with you?

Starting point is 00:31:48 I went to Seattle last month. Well, yes, yes. Shut the fuck up. What is wrong with your personality? But I rest- Shut up for a second. You think this is cute. You think you're cute.

Starting point is 00:31:58 You think you don't have to take care of your responsibilities and pay your IRS bullshit. And you're just fucking around and every single thing you say, I'm working on it. I can fix it in six months. It's only $8,000. Oh, the money I spent is up there. It's, you know, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, $14,000, $15,000 somewhere in that massive range. What is wrong with you? Your personality is whack.

Starting point is 00:32:18 It's... You have a shit personality. To be fair, my friends still owe me money for the basketball game. They're going to pay me back. To be fair, I don't know how the fuck you have friends. It's going to be less of what I spent. Lindsay's telling me your friends are not going to pay you back. They're working on it.

Starting point is 00:32:36 Oh, and that you know it because you told her. And now not that you're on camera, you're catchphrase, I'm working on her. They're working on it in order to just move on from a question. Shut the fuck up. You told Lindsay they're not going to pay you back. I was... How much do they owe you?

Starting point is 00:32:51 Well, it was a women's basketball game. It wasn't that crazy. It was the Falky's... Yeah, that sounds like they probably paid you to come. Probably. I paid for everything. I assume they'd, like, throw a ten-in-for-gast. How much did a ticket cost?

Starting point is 00:33:04 For all four tickets, I probably spent, like, $600. Oh, you got scammed. That's impossible. Well, it was upper. That's extra impossible. It was upper bowl. Dude, floor seats at a WMBA game is about $2.50s. cents.

Starting point is 00:33:21 And they throw on a bag of popcorn. No, it's because the Valkyries. They're in California. It's their first year. It's their inaugural season. So everyone was very excited about them. Who is everyone? All the Bay Area.

Starting point is 00:33:34 Yeah, all the tech bros really care about WMBA. They got to the playoffs. I didn't go to that. Nobody did. Anyway, so we drove. I thought people would pay me for gas. Nobody did. We went to the game.

Starting point is 00:33:47 Why do you have such friends? I like to offer. to pay for things because I'm wealthy. It's nice. But I don't have expectations of payback, nor do I want it. But you clearly did, and yet they just don't. Like, these don't sound like good friends. I think someone bought me a drink.

Starting point is 00:34:08 Want to know a dirty little secret? And no, I'm not starting an only f***. You're not broke because you suck with money. You just can't see where it's going. If your bank account is empty at the end of every month, that is not bad luck. bad tracking. And it's exactly why I use DollarWise. It shows you exactly where your money's going every single month, spending, subscriptions, and savings all in one simple dashboard, everything

Starting point is 00:34:31 you need and nothing you don't. And when you download DollarWise today, you'll get to try it for free, plus three months for just $9.99. So you can finally take control and see what your money's been doing behind your back. Click below to get started. One of them's my sister. I should mention that. I'm just wondering the fact that you expect for them to pay you back and they're not. It's a loose expectation. Okay. I can afford it. Maybe, not really.

Starting point is 00:34:59 You owe the IRS money. Can you afford anything? I would suggest no. I can. I mean, we got there. WNBA. Let's bring in Aaron. Aaron is not here today.

Starting point is 00:35:11 So I brought you our best lesbian. This is not going to work. I can leave. No, come join us. Do you know basketball? He knows ball. I love Caitlin Clark. Okay.

Starting point is 00:35:22 Oh, Caitlin Clark. Everyone does. All right, Mika, come on a hand. She wasn't there, though. Usually Aaron does this, but I have the next best thing. Her boss. We're trying to get her lesbian score, zero to ten. Zero to ten, trying to get her lesbian score.

Starting point is 00:35:37 You can ask her questions. Besides Caitlin. Name three WMBA players. Paige. Don't know what that is. Well, I went to see Caitlin Chin. What? That's such a general first name.

Starting point is 00:35:47 page? I don't know, Paige Buckers. Oh, okay. Caitlin Chen, that's who I want to see because she's on the Valkyries. She's the first Taiwanese basketball player. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and then Paige's girlfriend, Ozzie Fudd.

Starting point is 00:36:02 Who's the one that constantly gets made fun of? Angel Reese. Lindsay agrees. Yeah. Okay. Her and Caitlin Clark have that rivalry. Oh, that's a rivalry. Oh, okay.

Starting point is 00:36:11 Too much at WMBA talking. It's disgusting. I think, yeah. Okay. Do you think it's fair to say that most women can't drive well. I can't drive well. Oh, okay.

Starting point is 00:36:20 So a good anecdotal. You should see my car. I got like, I hit the construction code now the side of my car is orange. Okay. And my car guy, he told me never to use super blue.

Starting point is 00:36:30 All right, let's get a lesbian score. Zero to ten. Zero being the best. The worst ten being the best, most lesbian. I know. I'm dressed normally. I'm going to give a five.

Starting point is 00:36:38 Five out of ten. If you want your lesbian score, see where you stand in the world of lesbian, go to Calebember. com forward slash lesbian. Oh, we've got to go into this IRS. But what do you think your finances are?

Starting point is 00:36:49 Zero to 10. Zero being the worst, 10 being the best. Well, I probably make more money than this on this show. Zero to 10. Zero being the worst, 10 being the best. So six or seven or eight. Oh, you're miserable. First of all, that's insane.

Starting point is 00:37:00 You wouldn't be on this show. Ladies and gentlemen, if you want your hammer financial score, see where you stand in the world of finances, take the assessment. It is free at Calebgram.com. See where you need to approve. See where you need to do better. Shut the fuck up.

Starting point is 00:37:11 I am doing a callout. I legitimately do not like her. You are so annoying. Oh, my. And if you don't want to be like a guest who ends up on the show, you're going to need a lot more than this to not be like her. Just don't be an obnoxious. But download the Dollar Wise budgeting app

Starting point is 00:37:25 and you won't be like her financially. Take the free trial, sign it for the annual version if you want to save a lot of money. And when you do, I will personally sign my budget-friendly cookbook and mail it directly to your door. This only lasts for a couple more months, and then it's gone forever. No purchasing, no nothing.

Starting point is 00:37:40 It's gone. It's dead. Okay. Nallowise.com. IRS. It looks bad. on paper. What does that mean? It just looks back because it's printed out on paper.

Starting point is 00:37:52 And the alternative is... When I work on paying it off, it's not going to look as bad. When? It's always when. It's never I am or I have. It's always in the future. It's interesting how that works. That's how it works for anyone dieting.

Starting point is 00:38:05 It's how it works for anyone budgeting. It's how it works for anyone going and getting a better job. It's how it works for anyone starting a business. It's always when I do it. Never I am. Or I have started to. On the post show... So, 2024 taxes, $7,391.22.

Starting point is 00:38:21 It's not that bad. $1,6,38 cents. 2021, $2,396.62. Listen, is it not that bad? 7,000? I mean, it's not great for your income situation. Absolutely, not even close. But here's the thing.

Starting point is 00:38:35 It is okay to owe a little bit of taxes as a business owner to not pay your estimated taxes perfectly because it's oftentimes based on last year. And if your business is doing well, it's growing. You'll probably owe more money. But as long as you're saving and setting a little. up money aside in order to pay your end of balance from previous year, that is okay. But deferring, not necessarily great. You might have to pay some fees, you know?

Starting point is 00:38:58 And especially if you have to pay on a payment plan, what you're getting to, that is not good. You didn't defer your, you owe in general. I can't. I can't do a payment. Okay? I can't do a payment. Because they don't trust you because you're a moronic.

Starting point is 00:39:11 So you just owe this out of the gate. $26,0.91 to $0.71 to $0.72. $0.0.000. $0. Can't. Interest is accruing. I probably, it's usually fed rate plus like three. So we're talking like maybe like seven, eight.

Starting point is 00:39:27 Honestly, it might be like 15%. What? Out of penalties and fuck you? Oh, penalties. Oh, yeah. I think, okay, I think it might be a seven, eight interest rate, and then I might be getting penalties. Why?

Starting point is 00:39:40 Because the payment plan. So why can't you get on a payment plan? What happened? I didn't pay the payment plan. But now. Why, that was such an opportunity. And now I have a plan to pay the payment. I'm going to make a bank account where I'm going to put money into it.

Starting point is 00:39:57 And then every month I'm going to draw directly and then that way it won't fault. It won't fault? Yeah. Like, isn't that what it's called when it... Oh, it won't decline. That's why I got canceled from the payment plan because my card declined. Why don't you have enough money in a checking account? Why can't you manage...

Starting point is 00:40:14 I don't know. It ups and flows. It eps and flows. I'm going to... What are you? Ebs and flows. Because... Hey, new rule. You can't say Ebs and flows

Starting point is 00:40:26 or I'm going to work on it. Okay, you can't. You can't. Can I have the spray bottle or it's the spray bottle? She needs punishment. Oh, did we lose it here? Well, you don't want to mess up my makeup anyway. I don't give a fuck about your makeup.

Starting point is 00:40:38 I'll be completely honest. Um, I need a punishment. I need to make sure you don't do something. There's a way to harm her without physically harming her. You can just like smack the paper super hard. That'd be great, please. Thank you. Green, for the sake of brand. Matches my sweater.

Starting point is 00:41:01 Say it again. Get the whack. Okay. Them the rules. I'm a rule follower, so. Except for paying your taxes or doing anything. I was little. What is this?

Starting point is 00:41:15 I was little. Okay, new rule. You can't say I was little either. That's now off the table. That is whackable. Anything before your frontal lobe develops. That is whackable. Frontal lobe.

Starting point is 00:41:23 Are you going to do the 25? frontal lobe thing? It actually is 28 when it develops. No, it's person to person, first of all. Okay, I nominate myself as a 28 developer. I mean, I'm an HU. Listen, by the, I read a whole psychological report on it, because people on TikTok and Reddit love to abuse this 26-year-old,

Starting point is 00:41:42 25-year-old frontal lobe bullsh. From the vast majority, from, it's either like 16 or 18, is world experiences. It's not actually just sitting there and it's like, oh, it's developing, it's developing. that's not how it works it's mostly for the vast majority of the brain doing

Starting point is 00:42:01 through growing with ages is done by 16, 18. Then a lot of it is life experiences and if you're just locked inside being a little brat baby then obviously yeah it might not be developed until 35 and it's gonna be person to person regardless

Starting point is 00:42:15 it might be 21 for some it averages out at about 25 but shut the fuck up you think you should be forgiven everything at 24 you don't feel your frontal By the way, it is a gradual thing from 15 to 25 anyway. It's not like 25. Oh, I'm not fucking anymore.

Starting point is 00:42:30 That's not how it works. You are still responsible for the things that you have done and the mistakes that you are now dealing with. I was young, 2021. You weren't that young at 2021. I don't know. What was I like 26? Yes, that would be the math.

Starting point is 00:42:44 My frontal lobe was... So you completely dismissed everything I just said. I know my frontal lobe. I know one. No, you don't. Yes. No, you can't feel it. You can't sit there and be like analyzing it.

Starting point is 00:42:57 My decisions got a lot more wiser when I turned 28. Based on life experiences, it wasn't because you turned 28 and it just clicked in. I swear, you TikTok, Reddit people are actual parasites on this planet and don't understand anything. And use anything you can possibly find one little anecdote in some psychological analysis and you base your whole worldview and excuse everything on it. And fanatize yourselves to the ultimate. No. Some of them are wild. I don't like that like, oh, I have trauma so I can't do anything.

Starting point is 00:43:27 Come on. You're just like, you're on that same level. You just picked on something else. You picked on the frontal lobe argument. No. It's valid. No? No.

Starting point is 00:43:40 Yes. But it's literally not. It's mostly life experiences. I think you're saying this because your frontal lobe is still developing. Oh my fuck. I hate you. You're obnoxious. My interest rate might be honest.

Starting point is 00:43:54 there actually. Oh, no, never mind. Well, listen, I was looking and it wasn't, so no. I didn't realize that was a card. You know, frontal lobe? This is nice paper. To be able to read numbers? It's telling me how to avoid owing a balance.

Starting point is 00:44:11 Uh-huh. I'm going to do that in the future. Is your hippocampus fully developed so that you can actually learn from this? Yeah. And not do it again? Next year, I'm going to be so on it. Next year, full hippocampus. We're working on it.

Starting point is 00:44:24 Gotcha, bitch. I didn't say it. Yes, you did. We're working on it. Yes, you did. No, you said I can't say the other word. No, I gave you three things. Your catchphrases, your moronic obnoxious catchphrases.

Starting point is 00:44:37 Sorry that it just damaged your frontal lobe instead of back five years. Probably. Southwest Rapid Rewards. What's going on with this card? Okay, so basically, I'm very responsible. I've never, this is only my second credit card. Okay. Dude, this stack of paper is so big.

Starting point is 00:44:53 I had a good reason for getting it. I needed a couch. And perk, I would be able to fly on Southwest. You want to do Southwest out of all the airlines? I don't want to, but that's... Then what the fuck are you talking about? That's the, like, second biggest airline out of Sacramento. Uh-huh.

Starting point is 00:45:10 So it's not my favorite. I don't like it. Nobody's favorite. But that's what flies out of Sacramento, so... Okay. Again, the reason specifically for the rewards to... align with, you know, your airline thing, that's okay. I mean, the couch is kind of moronic.

Starting point is 00:45:27 Why don't you Facebook marketplace? We know you're on Craigslist. Well, I don't want like lice or something. Dude, I swear, this is the argument. You could get a professional, dude, with a professional cleaning of a couch plus picking it up from a rich area where they're just trying to get rid of it will still be 10, 11, 20, 100 times cheaper. Remember that doctor's appointment you were supposed to make a while ago?

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Starting point is 00:48:14 Then getting a new couch. Then I have to pay. So cheaper. To get it up. I live in a. third bedroom apartment. I wanted them to deliver it. Well, if you have friends, like you said you do, they will help you. Not that they're going to move a couch. Okay, so you have bad friends. It barely fit in the elevator. We're the Hartford with decades of experience ensuring millions of unique small

Starting point is 00:48:34 businesses when it comes to your small business insurance. Thank you. One size absolutely does not fit all. Get a quote or find an agent today at thehartford.com slash small business. Barely fit in the elevator. But it did. And you're not. It did. And you're have bad friends. I didn't ask. Dude. Look, it, part of making good money... How much was the couch?

Starting point is 00:48:56 Part of making good money is paying for convenience. So... What? You have the ability to pay for convenience because you make good money. Sure, you owe the IRS money. So I paid to have the couch to live... I swear, I swear, I say things and you don't actually listen. I'm going to answer your question.

Starting point is 00:49:15 I paid to have it delivered and I paid for them to haul the other couch. And it came... amount? It came out to about $7,000. Oh my f***, you are broken. What is wrong with you? It is a 7,000? It's a modular couch so when I don't care. I can make the couch bigger. It's going to grow with me. It's also my first couch. I've never had a couch before. What is wrong with you? What do you mean you've never had a couch? Never had a couch. I've always been so... Your family's house, never had a couch. Well, yeah, when I moved out at 18 though. Oh, 18. Oh, what a tragedy. What? I haven't had a couch since 18. Who cares? Who cares? So this was a grown-up in

Starting point is 00:49:49 You know all the tech pros that can move to Silicon Valley where you are probably just have an air mattress and a Xbox and a TV? That's it. Probably don't even have a couch. So grinding on battlefield and then coding all night. Yeah, they work all day. So that was like I quit my job

Starting point is 00:50:05 to do photography. Oh, so we had to get a couch? Yes, so that I could... What? Because like where am I going to sit while I edit photos? A desk. I don't have a desk. Well, that would be cheaper. A nice little IKEA desk and a desk chair. I don't have a chair.

Starting point is 00:50:20 Dude, I'm saying, you're actually, dude, I think you actually might be stupid. I don't know how you got to where you are. Well, I went to Target and I got those like folding chairs. Well, there you go. You've already accomplished what you said you didn't have. You've already accomplished what you said you didn't have. But I can't sit like in that for like eight hours a day. No, of course not.

Starting point is 00:50:38 You could get like, shh. I'm not trying to baby myself. You get a $300 chair that has adequate lumbar support and all the good stuff, good posture sitting. And a $300 desk, and that would have been cheaper, and grind on your photography, cash flow a couch when you can get it. You put it on a credit card. You didn't cash flow it. It was going to pay it off. Was gonna?

Starting point is 00:51:00 Was gonna? I think I did. No. You absolute moronic freak. You owe $7,217.27. $18.89. That's perfect. How are you seriously somehow becoming my least favorite guest on this show?

Starting point is 00:51:16 This cannot be. I cannot tell if it is me or you. I really can't. I can't. The audience calls me out when I'm being grumpy and, you know... No, I don't think you're grumpy. Am I being grumpy as to her?

Starting point is 00:51:26 No, you're not grumpy. Okay. You seem like you're in a good mood. That's the nice person's version of saying you're a horrible, obnoxious creature. I've seen you be more mean to other people. I am holding it back. I feel rage within me.

Starting point is 00:51:41 It's because, like, I'm so cute. We're not going to talk about that. Let me just say, use those stairs and not the elevator a bit more. Anyway. Sorry, I'm just being mean because I don't like you. I don't even want to be mean. Except for you, I do.

Starting point is 00:51:56 I carried my suitcase up the stairs. To hear? Yeah. The one flight? It's like one and a half. I'm sure that it was traumatic. No, like I said, I live in a third. I use the stairs.

Starting point is 00:52:07 Anyway, let's go back to this. So what I will do is I'll get you a course career certification and accounting. You've got to learn the numbers around your business because the fact that you can't even do the numbers in your business is insane. How long does this take to pay off if you only? make your minimum monthly payments and you do not purchase on it, which, by the way, you're incapable of as you purchased $3,000 last month,

Starting point is 00:52:25 which is substantially higher than your payment, more than double. Well, I'm gonna... How long? Does it take minimum only? And no, you're not, I'm gonna. Shut the fuck up. That is one of the wax, okay?

Starting point is 00:52:35 I don't know, like 15 years, but I pay it off every month. 19. No, you don't. You didn't last month. You absolutely done... It's like a... It's a rolling... Shh, shh, shh, shh. Listen, quiet.

Starting point is 00:52:47 You didn't. It accrued. $148 and 77 cents to finish this last month because you did not pay it off. It's not as better. Shut up! You paid a fifth of it off. I hate, oh my, I don't want to finish this episode.

Starting point is 00:52:59 You are. That's better than some of your other guests. Why does that matter? No, I don't know. Why does that matter? And no, it doesn't because, listen, sure it's a bigger payment than some people may, but you spent double on it.

Starting point is 00:53:11 You spent double what you put on it. So it doesn't, you completely negated at times two. Like, it doesn't make sense. Do you? And you can't tell me. you pay this off every month because it's not even close to true. You've a, you, listen, you've had a thousand hours of interest this year so far rounded, okay? Oh, I only got it in April.

Starting point is 00:53:29 Oh, you are a broken individual. This is your second card of card and you only got it in April this year. And yet we have this stack to get through. I don't need to know why. I already know why. The why doesn't negate the timeline. You actual incapable of having a conversation, Beast. Yeah, it's a new card.

Starting point is 00:53:46 I just got an April. Do you need, do you need some. joy. I need to wrap this so I don't have to be in front of you. This might make you feel better. Okay. Yeah. Ha, ha, ha, everyone likes bringing in their plushy

Starting point is 00:53:58 now that they know that it triggers. And shut the fuck up. You're not cute. You're annoying. You're annoying. You didn't even look at these little slippers. You're annoying. You're obnoxious.

Starting point is 00:54:06 You're not funny. You're not cute. Nobody's laughing at you. That's cute. Nobody thinks you're enjoyable. You're a miserable existence in front of me right now. You're going to Radcliffs. You're going to

Starting point is 00:54:19 Radcliffe, Taco Bell, Alice U-Towny, the snug, shady lady saloon, Raising Cains, walk the line, Department of Air something,

Starting point is 00:54:33 I don't know, maybe. Hidden Dumping House, Midtown's Cantina. Which one was comedic? I like to go out with my friends. Oh, do you? Those are like all bars, yeah. Oh, wow. Okay, wow.

Starting point is 00:54:47 Yes, let me shake your hand and tell you it's okay now then. What? I don't, no shit. I live downtown. No shit. Right downstairs. No shit.

Starting point is 00:54:55 You like to go out. You did not have to tell me. I knew that. They knew that. Shut up. Sorry. Ross Store. Well, Trader Joe's is a bull-

Starting point is 00:55:06 I don't know why that's highlighted. Southwest. Yeah, American Airlines, but that's probably for the job. The Golden Bear. Willow, like, Oak Fire Department? I'd like to donate money. I might have donated.

Starting point is 00:55:18 That might be donated. Why else would I pay? Spend double what you made last month and you owe the IRS money and you're donating money? Yeah? What's the point of making money if you're not going to like pay it forward?

Starting point is 00:55:30 Dude, you owe, still. I agree. Pay it forward. After you pay off what you already owe. I think it's pay it forward. Oh my fuck. I swear. You just literally, you say something,

Starting point is 00:55:46 I then make an argument against it. And then you just repeat what you said before I made the argument. It's like, Because my argument is valid. I told you $10. I told you $10. Yeah. Your argument's not valid when you owe the IRS and you're not saving enough money for taxes.

Starting point is 00:55:59 Support our fire departments. Yes, I agree. And you can support it by doing much more in the future once you pay off your debt and have a fully from an emergency fund. There you go. Do that. I'm sure. Okay. I'm sure they're fine.

Starting point is 00:56:11 Warby Parker. That can be okay. That's why I just said it can be okay. You beast. Shut up. Snap camera. Little camera. McDonald's, Old Navy, Nails, then donating to PBS?

Starting point is 00:56:27 $103? The government, like, defunded them or something. The government's not able to pay bills because you're not paying their taxes. No, no, PBS, I think, is privately funded. Mostly, yes. Yeah. It needs a little... Has been for a long time.

Starting point is 00:56:43 You have no money, you already owe the government money. Isn't PBS, like, being canceled? Like, nobody's giving them money anymore? I think... I don't... Follow politics. I don't know for sure. But I gave them a little. I think PBS and NPR had their funding removed. But if I'm not mistaken, NPR, it was like 2% came from the government anyway. Well, there's still local and state government. No, they have a hundred more dollars.

Starting point is 00:57:04 IRS, please just come take everything she owns. Honestly, honestly, please. Destroy her. Destroy her, please. She deserves it. They might take you seriously. I am. Serious. I can get that. You're an asshole. I can get this. You're going out donating and spending money with your friends when you owe the government money. and I'm out here having to write checks of disgusting amounts of money. You do your part. I'm okay with paying my taxes. I am. We're working.

Starting point is 00:57:29 Sorry. A progress. It's a process. You're doing it. You didn't say process. Come on, that's the same fucking part of it. Your stupid catchphrases that mean nothing. Because you haven't done shit.

Starting point is 00:57:47 There's no indication in here at all that you have ever tried to be decent. You don't see any, any payment? to that? You spent double what you paid towards it. Shut up. Anyway, I had to get the glasses since my insurance got cut off. Yeah, I didn't complain about the glasses.

Starting point is 00:58:05 I'm just letting you know. That's why it's so much out of pocket. Okay, yippee. Didn't complain about them. Classes you need them. Listen, you can use the Fizz card, debit card that builds credit, at least, because you can't spend more

Starting point is 00:58:16 than what's in your checking account. Clearly, you need that discipline. Obviously, you have the yearly fee on this card. I don't think it's that much. What? What? What is it? What is that much? That doesn't make sense for anything I said. It's Southwest. It can't be that much. The annual fee?

Starting point is 00:58:34 Yeah, it can't be that much. Sixty-nine dollars, agree. Was I sh-h-in on it? Not necessarily. I was just calling it out. You absolute impossible to be around human. And I'm being generous calling you human. Delta skies platinum. What's going on with this? Because I like to buy Delta? Delta's my preferred. Also, it is. It is. reserve card now, not a platinum.

Starting point is 00:58:55 Might be good to mention. Great to mention. So when I fly, I can go to the lounge and get my little drink. I'm sure that makes you even more tolerable. $314.75. Of what? Your minimum fee payment and then you're... It's not bad.

Starting point is 00:59:13 I always pay that. If I don't... Shut up! Your balance is $9,421.6. Yeah. 21 years to pay this off, minimumty payments only. But I pay it off because if I don't pay it, then... I did not interest accrued. You didn't pay it off.

Starting point is 00:59:32 You're a liar. I got a manipulator. I got to keep you. Just you are a miserable existence on this planet. Shut up. You do not pay it off. Okay. Just hear me out.

Starting point is 00:59:41 Hear me out. What I do is I have to make sure there's at least like a little bit of wiggle room because I have to use this to purchase my flights. So I do pay a little off every month. You done? Is that it? If it goes... That's a special little speech?

Starting point is 00:59:58 Yeah. I want to make sure I keep my loan access. And my own. upgrades. I don't know what. I like to be upgraded to first class. So, you know. They only cease to fit you? Boom. Roasted. I mean, depends on the day. Sorry, I'm just being mean. I just, I really, you're, there's something wrong with you. And that brings out the worst than me. I've seen worse on the show. Mm-hmm. Yeah, the fat stuff is very personal, though.

Starting point is 01:00:23 Because usually I like to help people, like, actually, like, tell them like, hey, it's not okay to be that because, Because you're going to die early. Because you're going to die early and stuff like that. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But for you, I'm just doing it to insult you because I really don't like you. I think you do Deep Town. No, I promise you. Do you like the sweater, though?

Starting point is 01:00:48 I got it for the show. It's fine. I don't give a fuck. I wanted to make sure I stood out. So you wear the brand color? I guess, yeah, okay. Yeah. Elsie Bakery, Paramount Plus.

Starting point is 01:01:00 Really Paramount Plus. That's what we need. Spence Bob. Huh? The SpongeBob on it. When I flew from Anchorage to... You're actually... Okay.

Starting point is 01:01:09 It took me seven episodes of SpenceBob to get from Anchorage, too. Amazon Chick-fil-A. ABC? What the fuck even ABC? You're paying for ABC? Is that not Disney Plus? What the fuck is ABC? That might be the ABC store in Vegas.

Starting point is 01:01:25 Clear Me. Italian. Hera Hotel. Amazon. Hotel. Born and Brom. bread, swig, moxies, hurts, car rental. And again, the personal versus business, just separate them, asshole, because this is impossible.

Starting point is 01:01:42 See, some of its business spending. It's not that bad. So, yeah, Haras was in this. I can't believe I'm only two-thirds of the way through this. So it's a work trip. And that is the ABC. Have you been to the ABC store? No. It's like a really big store. And the water is only like 79 cents.

Starting point is 01:02:02 So it's better. It's actually, I'm working smarter than going to, like, anywhere else in Vegas to get water. And I need, I need water. And they have these gushers dipped in, like, lemon juice. It's really good. Honestowns, McDonald's, more Delta, Amazon. Oh, my, fuck, it goes up forever. And did you gamble while you're in Vegas?

Starting point is 01:02:26 How much did you gamble? First of all, backstory. Can you just answer the question? Vegas was one of my best tricks. Can you answer the question? I made $20,000. and I only gambled like maybe 1,000. And I won 400, so even though.

Starting point is 01:02:39 Wait, what? I thought just you made 20,000. I made 20,000. Not from gambling. On working, yeah. So my treat to myself. You made 400, you spent 1,000. Yes.

Starting point is 01:02:49 So you lost money gambling. Okay. But overall, I still made profit. When you need to build up your team to handle the growing chaos at work, use Indeed sponsored jobs. It gives your job post the boost it needs to be seen and helps reach people with the right skills, certifications and more.

Starting point is 01:03:06 Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit at Indeed.com slash podcast. That's Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply.

Starting point is 01:03:20 Need a hiring hero? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. First of all, you gambled about 2000. Yes, yes, but not from gambling. That's more money that could have gone to the IRS. It's my... It's my... It's my...

Starting point is 01:03:32 Asshole. It's more... You don't... Don't get treats when you owe the IRS three years. Assole, you owe money. Soul, soul, soul. It goes.

Starting point is 01:03:41 Soul, soul, soul, soul. Asshole. Every time you talk right now, you're just literally getting to Ching done the show. So like, I don't give a... I don't give a... Shut up. There is no excuse for gambling

Starting point is 01:03:53 when you owe the IRS money for three years to taxes. I only go to Vegas once a year. It was just a little treat. Dude, I swear. There's... Everything I say is just bounced off. you to somewhere else. I don't know what happens. You don't acknowledge anything I say.

Starting point is 01:04:09 Edgecart, who I don't understand why you're on the show. Doxide Diner. Hilton. Well, you're getting some bullshit with Hilton. Bullshut to Hilton. Rose skin nugget market, canopy, went out to you somewhere, Amazon, wax bar, salon, parsley, Galleria, Jr., Hungary Root, Hertz Car, FAA, something, something. Canopy Hotels. McDonald's, Blanco, Arco, Terribles, resort and spies out to air,

Starting point is 01:04:43 well, Whole Foods can be okay. Yeah, I mean, interest this year, 1500, and total fees is, I believe, over what the annual fee is. I think you may have had some late fees this year. No. Yeah. 30% interest rate pull up for your Amazon.

Starting point is 01:04:58 Start a screen recording. It's not that bad, actually. By the way, instead of stopping at the store and getting some bowl, like she endlessly does. Try it here. Are you an energy drink person?

Starting point is 01:05:10 Eh. I'm a coffee girlie. Okay. Wait. Well, this is essentially like these free samples, which you guys can get free samples, go to Caleb at GAMersubsG.com or gamersubs.g.g.

Starting point is 01:05:21 Or link in the description below. But 25 cents of servings for your energy drink when you make it for yourself. It's like making your coffee helmet instead of going in Starbucks. Stop going inside. 10% off. No more stopping and getting to the ball.

Starting point is 01:05:33 10% off. Link in the description below. Get your free samples as well. A lot of those things are needs, not once. Love when you interrupt, I honestly. Okay, paper towels, that's okay. A necklace. Bullshoulds don't need it.

Starting point is 01:05:46 Yeah, you just purchased a shit ton. Well, it's prime day. A pop-mart bullshit. It's for my sister for Christmas. Don't need water bottles again if we're buying a book. What? I live on the third floor. I have to get water delivered.

Starting point is 01:06:00 Huh? You can't have a breeder? No. What? those are gross Oh my fuck I'm gonna die You are just the worst beast ever Shoes I guarantee you had them lotion

Starting point is 01:06:11 That's not the worst toilet paper okay No Italian coconut Body lotion fine You didn't need strips of sticky Right now Trashbred is okay You didn't need a wireless outdoor camera You didn't need it right now

Starting point is 01:06:25 You didn't need the ring camera right now No I did you want to hear why You didn't need the palette You didn't need the fucking artist palette It was for a photo shoe Exactly you didn't fucking need it It was artsy. Squeeze bottle didn't need it.

Starting point is 01:06:37 I assume you had sheets. You didn't probably need that. Paint colors. You definitely don't need plastic paper plates when you have plates that you can wash. So you cannot afford this life. No, because I travel. You can't afford this life.

Starting point is 01:06:50 I don't want to do dishes all the time. You can't afford this life. Shut the fuck up. Portable selfie lighting kit. Probably makes sense with your thing. You don't need a cell phone stand. And other selfie kit, so I don't know why we need twice. Health and Fitness mini steper.

Starting point is 01:07:03 Maybe just don't take time. the elevator, vinyl gloves. I don't know if we 100% need that. Under eye patches. I mean, come on. What are we doing? Plastic flavors for kids, party flavors for kids. Whole Foods Market. Yogure.

Starting point is 01:07:17 I mean, come on. It was like 50-50. Yeah, 50-50. Yeah, but 50-50, when 50% of it should be going to the IRS or paying off cards so you don't have debt. Listen, as a business owner, you want about a 12-month reserve as an emergency fund because business is about harder. business is harder.

Starting point is 01:07:33 It's coming together. I shut up. Will you seriously actually, seriously be quiet? Like you are so annoying. You are incapable. Shut up! Guys, just real quick,

Starting point is 01:07:44 don't forget to take your Hammer financial score at Calebhammer.com. See where you stand, where you gotta do better, where you're doing shit. Listen, it just takes a few minutes and it is free. Figure out where you stand

Starting point is 01:07:53 in the world of money. Calebhammer.com. Starbucks is bullshit and a waste of money. And you already know that by making your coffee at home and invest in the rest. So now you need to do that with your energy drink as well. Make GamerSups at home for just 25 cents a serving.

Starting point is 01:08:11 And honestly, it literally tastes better. And we proved this accidentally via a blind taste test in our Hammer Elite show, Fat and Fatter. The number one ranked energy drink is GameSubs. Literally the cherry flavor is insane. Listen, you can also get free samples to see if you like it. Or 10% off your order at GamerSups.G. or click that link in the description below.

Starting point is 01:08:33 Type in code, Caleb. You having any debt while being a business owner and not having an emergency fund is so much risk over your head. Pay off your debt, especially IRS, that get rid of the risk and get a 12-month emergency fund and doing all this way.

Starting point is 01:08:48 Don't have that is beyond unacceptable. Beyond unacceptable. It's coming together. Shut up! Say the word. Come on. That is the same thing. I'm going to do it. It's coming together.

Starting point is 01:09:02 I'm working on it. Shut the fuck up. No, you're not. It has not come together. There's no indication of anything that is happening to that. No. I mean, I know you're being worried about being evicted in February. Well, yeah.

Starting point is 01:09:16 Tell me about it. Because my apartment's like rent controlled and I make too much. Good. So. Good. First of all, Sacramento's for enacting a policy that's performative and sounds really good but just makes housing more expensive for 98% of the population and discourages building, not that Sacramento.

Starting point is 01:09:33 Ohio's good zoning anyway, failed state completely when it comes to zoning. At least they finally passed the law to build up zone near transit. Not that they're going to enforce crime near the transit anyway, so no one's going to use it regardless. Bullsh-shund. And then you, you're the one in rank-controlled? Fuck you. What a piece of that system we have. I'm glad rent's more expensive for 98% of the population in Sacramento, so you use six figures can have a rank-control department.

Starting point is 01:09:56 When you started, but you've been doing well for three years. So shut the fuck up. Yeah, that's why I have a plan. I'm going to move to San Diego. And I'm not going to keep taking advantage of the rent control department. They should kick you out two years ago. No. Yes.

Starting point is 01:10:11 Yes. Well, they just asked for my pay steps. You are being subsidized by everyone having to pay more rent. Also, performance of people can say, oh, rent control, because this sounds really good. It feels really good. It never works. There is not a single city in this world that has enacted rent-controlled policies and rent did not only go up. The contract is.

Starting point is 01:10:33 I can make up to 100% more than I made when I moved in. Okay, well, that's going to be about double from the averages we pulled. When I moved into the apartment, I was only making like 35 a year. Yes, when you moved in, you've been doing well since then. But I could make 100% more. But now I passed that. So I could make up to 60,000 a year. So it hasn't been that long.

Starting point is 01:10:54 This is so stupid. It's such a flawed moronic system when we should actually be taking care of people who need it instead of people like you. It's disgusting. And then we punish everyone else for it. Just so people on TikTok can feel good about having a performative position instead of something that actually has end results

Starting point is 01:11:10 that help people in the end. I needed it when I moved in. When you moved in, you don't need it now. You didn't need it a year ago. You didn't need it two years ago. But I'm paying it forward by donating to PBS and the fire station. There's no argument that will ever be effective to you because then you just repeat what you've already said.

Starting point is 01:11:25 I know I'm taking advantage of them, but I'm paying it forward by like... Yeah, but your argument is, well, I need it at the time. No one discounts that. No one discounts them, but you didn't need it a year ago, you didn't need it two years ago, you don't need it now. You shouldn't have had it. I'm saving money to move. Yeah, you're saving so much.

Starting point is 01:11:40 Shut the fuck up. PayPal, it's endless Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Apple services, Apple, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, DoorDash, great. Hey, guys, she needs rent control and then she's door dashing, going out to eat every single day of her life. This is great. Thank goodness we all pay more expensive housing because of your failed policy. Only one. Uber eats endlessly, Uber and Uberin, Uberin, Uberin endlessly, door dash, door dash.

Starting point is 01:12:00 Apple services, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, DoorDash, DoorDash, TikTok shop. But hey, we're subsidizing a rent with us paying all more expensive rents. You know, it gets passed on somewhere. Certainly doesn't go away magically. Buffy, DoorDash. Oh, good.

Starting point is 01:12:12 I'm so glad we're taking care of you. So glad we're taking care of you. And just supporting your travels. Supporting your travels by subsidizing you. You're a joke. You're a joke on society. Unless Uber, Spotify, Uber, DoorDash, Uber. DoorDash, Ship Station.

Starting point is 01:12:30 Those are probably okay. Uber. I think the Uber should get a ass. Shut the fuck up. Jellycat. TikTok. Apple. Flood desk.

Starting point is 01:12:39 Uber. Jelly cat was for my sister. Oh, good. That's really good. I'm so glad. I'm so glad I have that knowledge now. You threw my jelly cat. I feel so informed.

Starting point is 01:12:47 I feel so good. This is wonderful. You threw my jelly. Shut the fuck up. You've paid fees $216 a year to date for your PayPal, by the way. So fuck you. There's fees on PayPal.

Starting point is 01:12:56 Oh, there's pays on PayPal. Yeah. Look at that. It's because they probably don't have enough money in there. You don't pay on time or you don't have enough or whatever the f. Endless ubers, endless ubers, endless ubers, Apple's ever existed in the history of my life.

Starting point is 01:13:09 PayPal, PayPal, PayPal, Uber, Uber, DoorDash. This is bullshit. I stopped door dashing. You stop door dashing the day before coming on the show. Shut the fuck up. That's not how this works. That is another whack, okay? Listen, yeah, well, we all stop doing things immediately.

Starting point is 01:13:22 Yep, charge back. There you go, 50 bucks. Why do you think you get fees? There it is. You don't have enough money. Endless door dashings, endless uberings, endless. Shut the fuck. Sheen, sheen, she and.

Starting point is 01:13:32 dumb Apple Bill. Pull up your phone, pull up your phone, pull up your phone. I don't want to hear your talk. Pull up your phone. Pull up your phone. I don't want to hear you talk. I don't even want to hear your voice. In fact, I wish I could just unfortunately if I mute your mic, I still hear you. And I'm the one dealing with it. What do you want me to pull up?

Starting point is 01:13:48 Give me your fucking phone. Okay, she has AppleCare. Oh, well, it looks like it's paid annually. That's good. On her MacBook. That's fine. So my MacCut, you really need Capcut? You don't have anything else. And then Instagram meta-verified twice. You have two meta-verifieds. Yeah, I don't want to lose my account.

Starting point is 01:14:08 You have two. Yeah, I have two accounts. Use one. No. Don't be verified on the one that doesn't matter. They both matter. And then a aesthetic photo shoot thing, guys. That's what you're paying your photographer so much for, her $40 subscription to be able to make

Starting point is 01:14:24 her photo shoots aesthetic. Just on my cell phone post. I have light room. So, anyway, Wait, I had to buy a new computer because... So anyway, shut the fuck up. You have a Nissan, it looks like. Yeah, just a little baby. Sorry, I'm not supposed to say little.

Starting point is 01:14:43 Huh? Just a little car. You know, that wasn't what I was talking about. I know. It was you calling yourself little. You see, she's incapable of processing information. I'm trying to be funny. You're not.

Starting point is 01:14:56 You're literally the... No, I don't think there's a single person that will find you funny or cute in this episode. I think you want to laugh. I think you want to laugh. Anyway, it's just a little car. It's not... Here's the thing. When a guest is actually

Starting point is 01:15:07 genuinely funny, you hear laughter in the room. There has not been one piece of laughter from anything you've said this entire episode. I think they're scared. No.

Starting point is 01:15:14 No, they laugh so easily. They laugh so easily when a guest says something funny. You are not funny. You are not a good person. You're horrible. You're disgusting. You're a beast.

Starting point is 01:15:22 Because they're scared. Shut the fuck up. What are you going to pull out a gun? So what are they scared of? They don't want you to be more mad. They laugh. I don't care if they laugh. They laugh all the time.

Starting point is 01:15:33 I don't give a shit. They laugh endlessly. If I cared, they would see me caring every episode when they laugh. Anyway, I don't laugh. My car is not a big deal. It's just a little small car. Huh? It's not a big deal.

Starting point is 01:15:44 It's just a little small car. I think it's like almost paid off almost. Probably. Congratulations on being one of the most hated guests on the show history. Because I know for a fact, right now they hate you. I've seen some that are questionable. You don't think you're going to line up there. Your personality is horrendous.

Starting point is 01:16:07 You don't think so. No one ever thinks theirs is. $195 a month, balanced $2,796 hours, $0.299. So yes, you're nearing the end. Yeah, not terrible. It's not the worst for your income, but I'm being told you want to buy a new car anyway. Well, yeah, when I moved to San Diego,

Starting point is 01:16:23 I want to go into San Diego like a fresh slate, so have a new car. Why does that matter? My car doesn't get parked at my house now because there's not parking, so I can't get a new car now. I have to wait till I have parking at my house. So that'll be like my treat to myself when I move.

Starting point is 01:16:41 Oh, treat to yourself a car? How much is a car going to be while you're an IRS debt and credit card debt? Well, this is only $1.95 a month. You actual idiot. How much will a new car be for you? Like the same, right? This was only like $5,000. So I don't know.

Starting point is 01:17:00 A new car probably, what, $10,000? You're not getting a new car for $10,000. I've never had a new car. Like, I've never had a new couch. And then, like, once I get a new car, it'll last me, like, 10 years, right? It's an investment. Right. Just taking everything in my power not to kick you the fuck off.

Starting point is 01:17:25 You have no idea. You have no idea. You have no idea. So, I'm going to get a new car when I moved to San Diego. So I'm not right the second in February, before February. So much paperwork left, but I don't see it. Is that the end of the debt? that's this is my main card

Starting point is 01:17:43 that's not a credit it's not a credit that is correct yeah you have endless accounts in here you have a main account a main savings a manifest account which is that shows me really how you are my San Diego fund yeah

Starting point is 01:18:00 San Diego comes before IRS IRS literally take everything away from her including her apartment please please I'm not even kidding like they they should take everything from you one of those is my deserve none of this. Look what you're choosing to do while you owe them money.

Starting point is 01:18:15 It's disgusting. Emergency funds. It is disgusting. Come take her money. You preach emergency fund. When do I preach it? I don't know. You tell people like, you're idiot.

Starting point is 01:18:25 You hear what you want to hear in then nothing beyond that. I say a one month emergency fund or highest deductible, the money guy rule. I have that. And then you pay off all your debt. Yeah, you wouldn't have a San Diego fund. You actual creature. One of those is the IRS. IRS account.

Starting point is 01:18:43 She can't process information. No, one of those is for the IRS. Hey, hey, hey. Yes. Take the mic. Mm-hmm. Push it away from my mouth. I'm not joking.

Starting point is 01:18:54 Push it away from your mouth. More. More. All the way until it's on the other side. That's not fun. Other side. Go. Go.

Starting point is 01:19:04 Keep going. You are no longer involved in this episode. I don't want to hear from you. am not joking. I will not acknowledge anything you say. You do not exist anymore. I am just going through these documents now. You are an obnoxious person who is incapable of listening to anything, and I am just trying to get through this. If I have a question, then I will allow you to pull the mic close to your face. You're done. You're done. And nothing in my plan or Money Guy plan or Ramsey plan or any other plan that exists out there say, have a San Diego fund. Will you do all that?

Starting point is 01:19:40 So across everything, you have about 6,000 sitting in there, which is not acceptable when you owe the IRS money. One month emergency fund? Sure, I get that. And then in this first account, it's a blackout, but I think this is a main account. You're getting bakery, Dutch bros, parking, going in and getting some bullshit concessions. Looks like you, a withdrawal from Square, but I don't know. PayPal, coffee, the well, going in and getting some bullshit. PayPal, Office Depot, H&M, Lyft, K. Cafe Zupas going in again some bullshit.

Starting point is 01:20:12 Probably PayPal. Quilted Bear, American Eagle, Labba Coffee going in and against a bullshit. Venmoing out $400. In and out, Victoria's Secret, Culver's, quick quack, copies, Swig, Best Buy, CF United News Shop,

Starting point is 01:20:29 Olive Garden, Chipotle, urban outfitters, Marshall's Lyft, Rose Tea Lounge, Venmoing out $300, chocolate fish, PayPal, Sun House Cafe, lift, scooter, ride, concessions, Elsa's Berk, Estella, bakery, coffee. I think, going out to eat. Something association, something association, Yolo County.

Starting point is 01:20:54 Rosos Connick Funnel, Conch, Chicken Rancho, Camela Coffee, PayPal, Chick-fil-A, sips, scoops, jamba juice, fills coffee, bigot tires, okay, that one could be fair. Pete's coffee, nugget market, which offers. $300 to reject it in a checking account. And then she had an immediate poll from her car payment fund. What an absolute joke you are. You don't exist. Shut the fuck up.

Starting point is 01:21:21 You went in and got some bullshit. Butterscotch. Open AI chat. GPT. Yeah, I really need that for photography. Penny cream creamery. American Eagle. Chick-fil-A.

Starting point is 01:21:30 Mad yolks. Coffee roast. Lids. PayPal, PayPal, PayPal. Withdraw. $500 was rejected. Immediately had to come in from PayPal. Money pulled in.

Starting point is 01:21:40 Vendamint out $50. Sacramento Airport Shop. Van Lewin. Addo's Hotel. Beyond the butcher. Yo, Gaba, Gapa. PayPal, PayPal, PayPal, PayPal, PayPal, Chick-fil-A. Univision.

Starting point is 01:21:58 Sacramento. Fair item. No. La-la land. Lift. Lift. Amazon. Pay range.

Starting point is 01:22:06 Chase. Oh, it looks like you went to a restaurant. All that well. She owes the IRS money. is unacceptable. Go take her car. Go take her new car. Take her apartment. Take everything she owns. This is unacceptable and unfair that the rest of us go out there. We pay our taxes and we do all this and she spends all her money on bulldo while she sits there and refuses to pay on for taxes. It is disgusting and unacceptable. This society that we live in. F*** off. You're a disgusting

Starting point is 01:22:30 animal. You're disgusting. On this account went down from $822 to $6.80 because you can't manage. This one closed at 2000. It shouldn't. This is the manifest. put the manifest stores that pay off to their IRS. You do not get to move to a more expensive city and tell you... Wishing you could be there live for the big game, soaking up the atmosphere of the crowd. But too often, life gets busy. Or the price holds you back.

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Starting point is 01:23:16 252 down for 400 on this performance savings. So you're a good joke. Savings account, golden savings, $57, down from 117. We're really, really doing so well here. See, we have these different accounts. I would keep things separate. It's quite easy to do. You just have to set it up and it takes a little bit of time.

Starting point is 01:23:37 Fidelity, $2,300. $99. This is your traditional IRA. Okay, you're just in target date funds, it looks like. Those are pretty good. Well, yeah, mostly. A little bit of S&P 500. Select brokerage investment.

Starting point is 01:23:53 Okay, whatever. Nothing too crazy. Nothing to freak out about. Okay, pull the mic close again. I had a couple minutes where I didn't have to hear from you, so I feel a little rebounded, a little better. Okay. Let's check in accounts.

Starting point is 01:24:17 Why don't you have multiple? Yeah. Why don't you separate your business and personal then? Well, that's what I was trying to do. Where was the try? Because everything was a mess across all credit cards and business. So I didn't check it accounts. So what do you mean you're trying?

Starting point is 01:24:29 Again, you're doing that thing where I give a kind of pushback and you're saying, well, I'm trying to. No, you're not. There was no indication of. Tell me what's actually happening and why you're not doing it. I split all the money into different accounts so that it wouldn't bounce. But if it's like, I just. keep swiping. It's the issue.

Starting point is 01:24:46 Well, stop. I like things. I like things too. If I can't afford it, I don't do it. Crazy how that works. Have a little bit of discipline being a fucking adult. Use the dollar-wise FACC. Where your money is going.

Starting point is 01:25:02 I mean, I'll tell you right now, it's pretty much. Miscellany's bull's loan is $4,000. Going out to eat was $1,500. I travel a lot. I know. But you can do it better. and more disciplined and more on a budget. You can.

Starting point is 01:25:16 I like trying like the nice one. I know what you like. I don't give a... Again, what you like does not matter. If you want to retire at some point, if you want to have security at some point, if you want to move to San Diego at some point, if you want to get a new car at some point,

Starting point is 01:25:28 those things need to supersede your wants of the quick swipes, okay? Because what you're doing is prioritizing your quick swipes over any and all of this right now. That is what you are choosing to do. That is what you prefer right now other than any of those goals. You're going to need more than $2,000 substantially to move to San Diego.

Starting point is 01:25:47 You're going to need, like, first month, last month, security deposit, all this bullshit. And then you're going to have to do the moving costs. You're going to want new furniture. You're going to want a new car. This manifest fund is going to need to be, like, $20,000. So should I put the San Diego fund to the IRS? Yes. Wow.

Starting point is 01:26:01 You listened to something for the first time. What is that? An hour and 24 minutes and 32 seconds since. She listened to something actually processed, and something positive came out the other side. Huh? Who would have a thought you had a semblance? of being able to actually make that brain work. Wait, serious question.

Starting point is 01:26:18 Please. How do I say? Because I have to move. Because I can't keep taking advantage of the apartment. Yeah, but you can move in Sacramento. We looked at the median rents. You can. You do not have to.

Starting point is 01:26:29 Do we hear. No. Oh, you don't want to. My package just keep getting stolen. I don't keep a fuck about want. My package just keep getting stolen. Yeah, welcome to California. You're going to face that everywhere.

Starting point is 01:26:40 No. California doesn't prosecute criminal. low crime criminals. Like, they just don't. Listen, and I, there's abundance Democrats out there that want to, they want to start, but it is, it is. Wait, valid reason though.

Starting point is 01:26:57 Here, hear me out, hear me out. I make more money in SoCal. That's valid. So I would travel less. Why? You say everything you do is travel. You don't do local. Yeah, because Sacramento doesn't have money.

Starting point is 01:27:09 People don't spend money on photo shoots in Sacramento. So theoretically, I will. Double, though, from what we've pulled. This is going to be brutal. I would make double. I don't think so. Double? Double's hard.

Starting point is 01:27:20 San Diego has money. But you're working every, constantly. One of my cities is San Diego. What does that to be San Diego? Because if you are a big flyer, it's not like one of the biggest airports in the world. Well. I mean, I looked at other cities, but San Diego seems fun because it's by the beach. There you go.

Starting point is 01:27:38 There it is. That's it. It's closer to my sister. Come on. Let's be honest. That's it. It's closer to my sister. Good.

Starting point is 01:27:42 That's the little wand. I'm sorry. not saying you can't do it. I'm saying give it a year. We'll think about it. Okay, but if I just moved to, isn't it just like re-moving to another place? If I'm going to move in a year. It's going to be moving expenses. You need first month, last month still. And rent is more

Starting point is 01:27:57 expensive there so that gets harder. Versus just like moving in Sacramento? Yes, because rent is cheaper. So first month, last month and security deposit would be less. Please. Please tell me you understand that. I do. It is not a difficult thing. I do.

Starting point is 01:28:11 I do. I do. but I'm going to make more. Listen, the thing is, maybe that's true. I don't think you're able to prove that, though, because you still don't even know your numbers. You don't know what your business costs. You don't understand anything. I can't take that as you have no credibility

Starting point is 01:28:29 behind anything you say for how your business will operate in any area. You have no credibility. There might be more people willing to pay there locally than locally in Sacramento, but that's all you got. You can't tell me numbers. You can't tell me frequency. You can't tell me what. But you'd be saving.

Starting point is 01:28:43 You can't tell me anything. Because you don't know your numbers. And we're not going to be able to get your numbers. There's somewhere in here. Okay, travel is 3,933. So are we saying it's 4,000 hours of... To make 12, you have to spend 4 on travel? That's travel.

Starting point is 01:28:59 That's not food. That's literally just... I don't have to. Okay. So like... What can we bring it down from from 4? That's just travel. That's not eating.

Starting point is 01:29:08 That's just travel. What can you bring it down from from 4? Well, I could... Answer the question. I could get cheaper. hotels. Okay. What do you think that saves? Probably a lot. 10%? 2550. What are we talking? I don't know. Yeah. 20%.

Starting point is 01:29:22 Okay. I don't always need rental cars. So let's pretend of the four you spent. I didn't get a rental car here. And now becomes 3,200. So let's try to budget this in. If you make a $12,000 month, which is not, okay, what's the, what's the ratio of the, that means times 0.77. That means Sorry. So 5,000.

Starting point is 01:29:55 Hold on, hold on. See, this is how I feel. Shh, quiet. Okay, if you make 10 and you spend traditionally 33% on travel, that would be 3,300, but we can cut it by 20%. So times 0.8, we can get your travel on an average of a 10% month. And this, I don't even know how to 100% accuracy because again you don't know your

Starting point is 01:30:19 shit. This isn't perfect. But we call 10,000 as income. Let's do let's see, other large travel. We put that at 2,640 because you cut back. And listen, okay, I'm going to do 300 for

Starting point is 01:30:35 what's, let's, let, a grocery, it's going to be more expensive because you're trafficking in a lot, but just cap your food budget. It's 700. Let's call that in the food expense. You're still going, go there, go there, go to grocery stores, go to, go, go, I'm going 500. Go there, go to grocery stores.

Starting point is 01:30:52 You're not going out to eat for a while while you're traveling. The issue is I like grocery stores a little too much. Okay, well, you're going in with a budget. You're deciding exactly what you're doing. You're only spending 500. Tell me, yes. It would be 300, but I'm going to give you a little leniency for the travel. I spend like 175 a week on.

Starting point is 01:31:10 Okay. This is your budget. You can do it. We've proven it. Follow the meal plan. All that. Got it. Tell me you can't do it.

Starting point is 01:31:16 I will rip this up and kick you the fuck. because I know you can do it. I understand. I know what you want to do. This is what you will do. Okay. We're on the same page now. See, about 20 minutes to get on the same page somehow.

Starting point is 01:31:31 I don't know why you. I really don't. Your listening capabilities are so horrible. Minimum monthly debt payments, $729.75. Okay, business expenses outside of travel now. What are we talking? Equipment. How often do you have to do this?

Starting point is 01:31:46 I don't know. I probably spend like 200 months. Okay. On all business extras outside of travel, just saying, 200? Yeah, sure. Including subscriptions? Let's call subscriptions an extra 100, okay?

Starting point is 01:32:01 Yeah. Medical, what's your, how are you doing, health insurance? I'm not. Okay, well, do. I'm putting that in at 400 bucks. I think I make too much to have health insurance. Oh my goodness, you are actually... I'm sorry.

Starting point is 01:32:19 No, cover California said I make too much. Yes, for government subsidized. You actual... beast. You can go purchase health insurance. They quote it. Hey guys, if you make too much money, you die. At the hospital. You. Go to shop any health insurance.

Starting point is 01:32:34 What you are looking for. Listen for a second. I need you to listen. What you are looking for. You're not shopping through California. You're shopping through just health insurance. Okay? You are looking for catastrophic coverage. So you don't go bankrupt. Something really bad happens. Yes. So 400 bucks.

Starting point is 01:32:50 I'm putting it in there. They quoted me 697. I'm saying for catastrophic. fake. You were, you're not looking around. TEP fund, $100, anything else you need. Gas, room, from drive, drive. Not that much property, right? No, I don't. Okay. Well, $50, $100? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:33:10 Okay, $100. Okay, $100. What's your car insurance? Oh, $2.95, maybe? I don't know. Okay. Something like that. What's your rent? It's going to be ending in February, but for now. I don't know. What is it? What does the paper say?

Starting point is 01:33:24 Dude, you don't know your fucking rent? I just write a check and hope it works. Okay. All right. I'm done. Let's go to the post show. Ladies and gentlemen, this is absolutely, what a pathetic. What a pathetic existence.

Starting point is 01:33:38 It's like 1,300. Shut up, what a pathetic person. We're moving on to the post show. I have to do another 20 minutes, just like every other episode, but we'll continue the conversation there. I'm done with this, and I need a break. And I hope you guys understand that and respect it, because this is fucking horrible, and you are horrible.

Starting point is 01:33:53 And I don't know how. you exist and how people deal with you. Click that join button, get three premium shows every single day, Monday through Friday, a lot of extra financial, a lot of stuff, like get extra 20 minutes of this show. You were smart enough to start a business and then fucking all up.

Starting point is 01:34:07 We're working on it. Do you, do you think? I lost it. It's behind you. I don't get a budget. I'm so fucking done. I am so fucking done, guys. Hammer Elite is the best YouTube membership

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Financial Audit - The Most Hated Person In Financial Audit History

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