Financial Audit - The Most Hated Woman In Financial Audit History

Episode Date: August 4, 2025

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Oh, shut the fuck up. I swear, but they... Shut the fuck up. I just filed for a child support modification. Why? Because you're responsible with your own money. Fuck you. He gets cost of living adjustments with his salaries.

That's his job. So why don't I? I raise his children. And then you come a begging? A begging. You are such a man. Who brought it up? Huh?

Who brought up getting a divorce? Me? You negotiated that account? Yes. Oh, that's YouTube membership on the platform. And I just upgraded it. Three exclusive dedicated shows every single day, Monday through Friday. And for this final week, I'm paying for you to sign up.

Sign up for Hammer Elite in the description or pin comment below and submit proof and purchase athammerElet.com. After that, I'll send you a $10 digital gift card that can be spent basically anywhere and in most countries. This is the best membership you'll ever join. That's a promise. This is Sandy. I'm 40 years old. I'm from Cocoa Beach, Florida, and this is Financial Audit. Thanks for coming over from Florida.

I appreciate it. What do you do there for a living? So I am an ocular recovery tech. Wow, I have no idea what the f f that is. Please, please. Just what do you make? So what do I make? I am per diem.

So I'm on call and I make money per case depending on where I go. So average case amount. Average case amount is about 150. It really varies. I can tell you. And what's your per case? I can tell you paychecks is basically what I can tell you. Average paychecks.

Give me average paycheck. So average paycheck is like $1,500 every two weeks. Net? As in that's what hits the account? Net. Mm-hmm. Yep. 3,000 hours a month?

Yes. So I used to be an andrologist, which is super study. This is near Orlando. So this isn't the cheapest in the world. No. No, and I live on the beach. Live on the beach. I live on the beach.

In Orlando? I live like. Well, no, I'm outside of Orlando, so I'm over by Cocoa Beach. So I'm about like an hour and a half away. Oh, okay. She told me it was near Orlando before we started filming. Okay. So $3,000 net.

Closest. This is in the middle of Florida. Okay. Okay. Awesome. So how were you survive? Is there another side of this household in terms of income? No.

No. So I'm a small mom with three kids. Three? What ages? I have a 12-year-old and two 10-year-olds. So pre-teens. How the fuck are you possibly surviving? There's no way.

Yeah. That's why I need your help. Like, I'm not. Well, there's not much I can do about making 3,000 hours a month on the beach of in Florida with three kids other than go make more money. Change your career. I don't know. What is there?

I've been pulling from retirement. Pulling from retirement. Yes. And I've pulled so much. from retirement that I'll probably end up dying in Walmart. So... That's what I say. Okay. I know. That's the point.

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Monopoly is a trademark of Hasbro. Hasbro is not a sponsor of this promotion. How long have you been pulling for retirement? Five years now? From your own retirement that you saved up personally? No. Retirement? Yeah, well, I have like brokerage.

I have retirements and stuff. But you didn't save up personally. You're saying? Yeah, no. So I got an inheritance. Oh, okay. Well, inheritance is this okay. You're pulling from the inheritance.

And then I had a divorce. Hold on. How much money did you actually have saved up? Because if we're using the word retirement, my brain, it's like, okay, this is what I worked for. Okay. So what I, well, and I didn't even work for it either because my ex-husband used to put in. So $0.00. Okay.

Okay. Okay. I started with $6,000. My dad made me put open a Roth when I was 16 and I put my babysitting money in it. And I didn't. A Roth. Yeah. I'm going to assume IRA, but...

Yes. All righty. And then I didn't contribute again until I got married. What did you get in the divorce? I got half his retirement. And do you get child support? I do. Well, that would be included in the income, lady.

What do you get? I get 21. We're talking about surviving. How would you... Okay. I get 2150 a month. Yeah. Well, that substantially brings us to survival.

Okay. what the f is the issue then? Why are we pulling from retirement in this case then? Because that extra, that extra amount helps. That extra amount should help. I mean, it helps. I mean, it helps.

Well, the beach is another like inheritance sort of situation. So I sold my childhood home and then took that. Hold on. You sold your childhood home. The child's home was given to you. I inherited it. Okay. You were the only kid.

No. My sister inherited some other properties. All right. Right. Very rich parents. In Hawaii. Okay. Wow. They actually weren't rich. We grew up very middle class. Oh, shut the fuck up. I swear. But they were extremely financially responsible.

No, that's been. No, no. No, they were wealthy. Maybe not rich, private, plain rich, no, but they were wealthy. Shut the fuck up, middle class. You don't know middle class. He's never heard of middle class. He's never witnessed middle class. I am totally a middle class kid. I have my dad's paycheck. Says the person who got inherited homes have sold them. a big lump sum half retirement from her ex-husband and now a big inheritance from her parents. What the fuck you're talking about? Middle class. My parents bought my childhood home for 126 and I sold it.

Yeah, when? For 405. When? In 95, but that's what I'm saying. We lived in it for 20 years. As they made more money, they didn't move up. It's a $400,000 house. I don't want to hear that.

$450,000 house. They owned a house on Hawaii, so I don't want to fucking hear it. Okay. Rich. Not rich. Wealthy. fine. They did fine.

They did fine. So what did you do with that? To move on the beach, apparently? What did you do? So I used to work in a very small field. Only job available in Florida after I got divorced was out in Melbourne, which is right next to the beach. It's not on the beach, but it's next to the beach. Yeah, you're on the beach.

Well, and I said I wouldn't move from my really good area to over there. I would have said I wish I could support my kids. Yeah. Well, at the time I could. because I just moved houses. Like there was already equity in it. And then I just put the equity right back into my new house. So what the f-the-fuss the issue?

Well, what is your struggle? I can't afford. So, no, you couldn't afford it then. What the fuck you're talking about? Well, lit. I need to enjoy right now because- You need to enjoy it right now. You have three children.

Yeah, but I'm probably going to retire. I want to retire around 50 and I'm probably going to die at 52. So- Yeah, what do you have? Nothing. But my parents died. What they died. My parents died at 53 and 52.

What they die with? One was a heart attack and one was a stroke. Okay. Take control of your diet and lifestyle. Good. And it runs in my family. It's genetic. It's genetic.

Genetic. But you're probably not going to actually die at 52. Well, who knows? Okay. Who else has died of 52? My mom's grandmother died of a stroke at 42. So strokes run in my family. Okay, that was also probably old.

But. A long time ago. Her parents were 90. So it's either 50s or 90s. And so I need to be able. 50s or 90s? Exactly. Okay.

What the fuck you're talking about that? So I want to live nice if I die at 50, but then be safe so that if I make it to 90, I won't die in Walmart. So that's what I need help with. Retired by 50. In what world possibly? You said you're pulling from retirement. If you're polling from retirement, there is no retiring at 50. That doesn't make any sense.

What the fuck are you talking about? Well, so so far, my net worth has stayed stagnant. Doubt. We'll check. I just filed for a child support modification. And I realized that. Why? Because you're responsible with your own money.

Fuck you. So that's exactly what he says. And that's bullshit. Inflation, we negotiated that amount in 2020. Inflation is 10% over the past four years. No, it was 8% one year. And then it basically has gone down to three every year beyond that. But either way, it's an increase.

we negotiated that amount, my child support amount in 2020, he's getting in his... Did you negotiate that amount? We did negotiate it. It is not... So you agreed to that amount. We agreed to that amount. So since he's getting...

Well, I'm feeling a tremor. I knew this. Men are just like this. No, no, no. I'm feeling a tremor. You negotiated that account? That amount. You negotiated and you agreed to it.

Yes. Oh, my tremors... My tremors is coming. Oh, that's weird. Okay, so... It would be the response. He gets inflation. He gets cost of living adjustments with his salary.

So why don't I? So why don't I? This is my job. I raise his children. He sees them every other weekend. You agreed to it. I'm not saying he shouldn't provide more, but you agreed to it. This was something you agreed to in the court of law.

And then circumstances change over four years. Inflation literally always happens except for a couple deflationary times. Which is why you're allowed modifications. You sound exactly like them. You're filing for it. But you did agree to this. You agreed. Yeah.

That's a perfectly fine amount. Why not agree to with inflation-adjusted? Because now he knows that I over-spe. He sees that I over-spend, and he thinks that I'm asking for my money for myself. And I'm not. I'm asking for my money for his children. Okay. Went out to eat $1,000 in this last month.

Probably not going to help your case, I'll be honest. I have three preteens. Which requires going out to heat and not cooking for them? I also cook. They union out of house and home. Okay. I saw $370 in groceries. Total.

That's like every week. Not what I got. We'll see with the unknown shopping. We'll see. Some of those are a little hard to qualify. All right. There were large purchases. 4,313.

Oh, we know what comes in. That's basically almost all your money. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And we'll determine what that is. Why would the fuck, regardless, would you get into a house you can't afford? That's you.

That's your choice. And then you come a begging to renegotiate something you've already agreed to. Have you? Okay. I'm begging. You are such a man, but... You're talking to you.

You agreed. Listen. Four years ago when the entire world financial situation was different. Oh, shut the fuck out. There's one year of inflation. Calm down. There's not one year. It's okay.

You said steady three years since the 8% increase. That's still an increase. There's inflation since the history of ever. Yes. So you think... Especially once we got off the gold standard. You think that if I negotiate a... price in 2020 that it should be exactly the same.

And we didn't. So now I'm filing. No, I'm filing. No, listen, I'm okay with him giving more. I think he should step up and volunteer it. Personally, I think he should do that if it's his kids and he's not splitting custody or anything like that. Yeah, absolutely. He should step up.

You negotiated this. Yeah. This was you. And now I'm asking him to step up. Yeah, that's you coming back to the table after the table's been set. He gets an array. He gets a raise for inflation. Why don't I?

This is my job. This is my job. He agreed to a salary. He agreed to a salary and he is able to say, but I'll walk. What can you do? I can walk. You can walk and he can just give you zero. Yeah, I'm sure he would love that.

Yeah, and he could take the kids and see what it actually costs because I can tell you it's way more than $2,100 a month. Would he agree to that? Of course. He loves the kids. Well, your boss doesn't have to agree to you walking. So I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. It's a horrible analogy.

And it would hurt my heart. It would hurt my heart. And he couldn't anyways with his job because he travels. But point is... What the fuck he's talking about, dude? You're broken. This is so typical. That you don't think being a mother is a job.

Who is saying this? I put my career on hold. I was a stay-at-home mom for years and years and years. I've never suggested this. While he upped his career... Are you incapable of listening? Is that what happens once you birth a child? I...

Probably, actually. You have to turn your ears off. I specifically said, I think, he should step up and give more because of inflation. But if you won't. Do you understand what I am saying? I am saying this is what you literally in the court of law agreed to. Yeah.

Who the fuck are you to then go back and be like, wah-wah, I agreed to something. Oh, no. The state of Florida allows a modification every three years. Modification. Does that mean it is necessarily going to happen? No. Exactly. So yeah, go ahead and put in the petition.

I did. Good. I'm not disagreeing with putting it in the petition. But you to sit there and complain that it has not followed inflation when you did not, even though inflation is always the fucking happened, you did not put in there? It doesn't matter that there's one year of higher inflation. There's one year of higher inflation consistently every couple decades. That is what happens.

It's not necessarily a natural cycle, but that monetary policy is wild. I didn't have to put it in the original because every three years, I'm allowed to go back to court. And now I'm going back to court. But you're complaining about it. He controlled all the finances in the first place. So now that's why I can't live on the amount he gives me. Girl, learning her budget takes like five minutes.

That's just you being an irresponsible mother. No sympathy on my hand. I've tried before, but it's always negative. Well, that's because you don't make enough in your job and you decided to live on the beach. By the way, have we forgotten this whole thing of her complaining about the guy not giving her? which, yeah, step up, dude. They're your kids. You don't have custody.

But either way, okay. You chose to live on the beach. You got a massive inheritance. You got half his retirement. You got to sell a home. You chose to live on the beach. You're choosing to spend $1,000 going out to eat a month. At what point does the sympathy go to zero?

Because it's pretty damn close. Listen, if you were struggling, the living in a sad, small apartment where they don't have room to live, and you weren't spending money going and having fun, he didn't get a big inheritance. Yeah, I'd be like, let's make this dude that's making a lot of money. I'm assuming, I don't know. Let's make him pay a lot more.

Sure, but you have made life choices. Who the for you to then come back? Are you saying you've never renegotiated a contract ever? Renegotiated in a contract? That's what this is. I'm renegotiating the contract. I'm thinking because I actually don't think I have. Renegotiate?

I am very, very, very, very specific and intentional about what legal contract I get into. Again, I'm not, I'm not upset at the idea of going back for the three-year thing. That's in there for that reason. It is your whole way. I've made these life choices. I can't afford them so someone else needs to save me. It's not about that. And that is what he thinks. And that is not the truth. But that is what your behavior did. You chose to live on the beach. You chose to spend a thousand dollars. You keep saying living on the beach, but all I did was transfer my house to the beach. I didn't actually spend more money on the house. The house is the exact same cost. Yes. You got a $400,000. $50,000 house on the beach of Florida.

I sold $403 and I purchased for $420, absolutely. Okay, then what's your issue? So then insurance. I don't know if you know about the insurance market. So my insurance was estimated at $2,300,000. IE. Hurricanes. Welcome to choosing to live on the beach in Florida. And my taxes, my property taxes went up.

Welcome to owning a literal home. You chose to own a home instead of investing that money renting instead. It would have happened whether they were on the beach or not. Yeah, but you could invest in the money in the market. I did. No, you bought a house. And I did a lot of renovations. Listen.

When I was married. Sympathy meter. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Let me tell you how I got there, though. When I was married. How you got there? You drove. That too.

Okay, fair enough. I was driving an hour every day for work. I was putting 100 miles a day on my car. My kids were going to daycare at 6 o'clock in the morning, and I wasn't coming home until 6 o'clock at night. So I moved closer to my job. You chose to bring children in the world. You get a massive child tax.

And I'm doing the best I can. You get three child tax credits on a yearly basis. I actually don't because we negotiated. He gets half of it. Oh, fair enough. You got half his retirement. You negotiated or you agreed to it. Why am I having sympathy is something you agreed to?

Children. So I deserved it. I know. I'm not. You agreed to it. Well, I'm not renegotiating the divorce. I would also suggest that, hey, guess what? She takes care of the kids.

She should get all the child tax credits. I agree. She agreed to that. Not. the case. Your fucking fault. I know. I've thought about that. So what, like, what am I supposed to do? Cry with you? So listen, hear me out. This is how I got to where I was.

So, guys, it's just, oh, what a typical man saying that you should stick to a contract you agreed to. When I was married, he took care of everything. So I never even knew how much money was in retirement, how much money I could get, how much money the kids cost. I never knew how much... Why did you guys get divorced? Anything costs. We don't get along.

Okay. Who brought it up? Huh? Who brought up getting a divorce? Me? Again, the parents dying screwed me over. I was like, I can't live my whole life being unhappy if I'm only going to get to 52. Sympathy meter going down. I didn't want to live unhappy.

And I knew that I would be okay. And the kids would be okay if I left. Fast forward. All right. So it didn't work out. Okay. Fuck's sake. But I think it can.

I think it can. If I go back and go get more money. Okay. Ignore that part. It's not even that. But again, I again, think he should. And that three year thing is there for you to take advantage of it. That's fine.

That's fine. You have made life choices. You live on the beach. You chose there where insurance is higher. Property taxes always go up. You chose to own property. That fucking happens. You chose to spend the money you do on a monthly basis.

We know what comes in. What did you spend last month? Uh, no, I have no idea. 5,000? What's the struggle? Why would you not know? 6,000? Why would you not know?

Usually I would, but I carried a couple balances on my credit cards for the first time and a long time. Why? Because I didn't have the money to pay them off this time. Except you spent $1,000 going out to eat. Because my kids needed to eat. Oh, we've lost access to stoves and ovens and sinks and refrigerates. and knives and four. Well, now I need a food budget because I'm going to end up with that amount of child support forever anyways.

Why are you losing? Nope. I dropped the modification. What the? Why? So we can. Why? It's there for you to take advantage of it.

I'm not even saying don't do it. It's your complaint. I would have to do it. We agreed to drop it because he gave me all his financial information and then asked for mine. And I don't want to give him my financial information. What? Because I'd rather go broke than have a man tell me how I can spend my money. Who asked for it?

My husband, my ex-husband. Did you have to provide it to request modification? Yes. Oh. Oh, feeling a quiver. Feeling a quiver. Well, I don't want to get it. No, he's going to say exactly what you say.

If he goes through my finances, he's going to say exactly what you say, fuck you. Yeah, because you blow all your money. I'm not going to get you more money to go blow it. I agree because you bring in $5,150 a month and $10,000 when now, go fuck yourself. $10,000. $10,000. Whoops! If you can spend hundreds of hours playing video games,

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I mean, I honestly, I don't even know what I spent on this month. Whoopsy! Almost like I don't drink my money because why would I take any responsibility and instead just go ask for more money from other people? I've never had to. I've never had to. Oh, when did you guys get divorced? Five years ago?

Oh, so you've had you for the last five years. Shut the fuck up. He sound exactly like him. Well, maybe he's right. I mean, hold the fuck on. Like, what? Don't make this a man versus a woman thing. It's not.

We can have financial literacy whether you're trans, whether you're taking dick in the ass, whether you got tits. I don't give a... Absolutely, but you don't understand child support. The show doesn't discriminate on that. Money doesn't discriminate. You got a budget. Single mom. Single woman.

Doesn't matter. I want to. I want to. 30, 50. How do you budget when you're always negative, though? I have no idea how to budget. You look, you add up where money's going, see what you can adjust. Sell the house? I'm, it's not a good time.

I'll lose money if I sell it. Welcome to homeownership. You chose to do that. You may have overpurchased. You thought because you had cash. So what most people don't understand, and I think this is important that people should know is that when you first get your mortgage statement,

when you're buying a home, they calculate your estimated tax and estimated insurance. Yeah. based on the home's price as assessed that year. So it was assessed at 123 because the previous owner had homestead. Well, when I purchased it, it was automatically, yes, but it was automatically reassessed at the purchase price at 403. Yes.

So suddenly my taxes went from like 2000. I did. Did you have a realtor? Well, yeah, they didn't explain that to me. Okay, you got a bad realtor, ladies and gentlemen, get a good realtor before you fucking do anything like this. I was a real letter. Okay, listen, how much, um, oh, for f***, okay. I don't, I don't, I don't even know.

This is just insane. And you're trying to make this like a, oh, a man would say that thing. Who gives the fuck? This isn't man versus a woman who, money is money as money as money. It does not discriminate. Money, money, money, money, money. This doesn't matter. Neither do contracts.

Come on. What you agree to is what you agree to. And the three here thing is there is Florida law. So he doesn't really have a choice in that. And you don't really have a choice if you want to apply for that to then share your finances. This is it. This is not man versus woman. This isn't. It's not they versus

them. But most men, I'm not giving her child support because she'll spend it on herself. I'm not spending it on myself. Well, if you were, that would make me feel a little worse about giving child support as well. I'm putting a roof over my kids' head. I'm giving them food. Right. But again, that's not even the conversation

we have because I don't even know if that's what's happening. I don't know you're spending. I go blind with the audience, but you did spend double what you make. And I had no idea. if you're on a debate men versus woman, apparently. Go to Calebhammer.com slash apply. I'd be happy to have you on the show. What do you think your financial score is?

Zero to ten. Seven. Seven. Seven. Probably because of the retirement and homeownership. Yeah. Okay. Maybe six because I have collections.

Yeah. Okay. So if you want your hammer financial score, you get it for free. Get your financial score. It's free. It's fun. Go to Calebhammer.com or DollarWise.com. Also remember, make sure if you don't want to be like a guest on this show,

download our budget. A budgeting app. Take that free trial. Sign up for the annual version. If you want to save money and get our budget-friendly cookbook signed by me directly, mail directly to you and sign up for Dollar Wise Central. If you want all of our educational material and our budgeting premium app bundled together for 80% off dollarwise. com.

Check it out. You get it all for free. That is, at least you get that, okay? Soul man's giving you something in this world, okay? Thank you. Oh, and gave me something. You gave me three kids. You sure did that you chose to have.

That I love very much. Great. Yep. And you chose to have them and, you know, consequences and expenses. it comes with it. Oh, fuck. Is this? No.

Why do I have when we go, I don't. What the, what is this $15,300 hours painting from YouTube when talking about this card? What does that even mean? I've never even seen a note like that. What the fuck is that even mean? I had a little impulse purchase in January. A YouTuber that I love that I followed for a very long time.

Who? Baumgartner's restoration. He had his art restoration in Chicago. I've been watching him for like 10. years. He restored a painting. He sold it on eBay and all money goes to Doctors Without Borders. So I...

Oh my... Dude, you're literally begging for charity. And you're giving charity... For $15,300? Yes. So... And the painting is worth about $6,000 to $8,000. But I can...

I can claim a deduction on my taxes for the... Do you not do a standard deduction? No. No. I haven't done a standard deduction in probably nine years. Yeah, that makes sense with your wealth situation. I got a lot of stuff going on. Had a lot of stuff going on.

I'm pretty young. Okay, so that was seven months of his child support on one painting. And we are shocked and we blame it on, oh, he has a penis. How dare he? I have an opinion on money. It came from a different account, though. Like, it didn't... Okay.

Seven months of his child support went to a painting for charity. It wasn't his child support. It was my money. My money went to. It was your money that you spent, but your money is the money that he also gives you. It's all intermingled. It doesn't matter where it necessarily came from. It's one big pile.

You spent seven months worth of his child support. And we are surprised that he's a little... He doesn't know about the painting. Well, he sure does now. I haven't told him I was coming on. Wow. So. Does he know the show?

Nope. Oh, well, you might be okay then. I'm hoping. Hmm. Okay. Well, this card's fucking insane. Capital One quicks over. Does this fantastic even matter at this point?

I mean, that is insane. Just this balance alone. It got her a little ridiculous this year. Which is. What we're going to title this? Nepo-cate. Oh. I hope NEPO gets eaten by a shark.

I really was middle class. My parents just saved really well. I hope a hurricane kills this nepo. Is that the title? It's probably not the title. I think there's a tropical storm coming. This weekend when I'll be on vacation. So I'll be on the other coast.

Oh, fuck, damn. We were so close. $17,936. $66.67. sense is a how I say an insane balance? What the I have no idea. I honestly don't know what I spent my money

on this one because... What is wrong with you? Why? Well, because I've been carrying that balance, that $15,000 balance from the painting, so I just kept thinking when I saw... Where from January 1st? I meant to pay it up. What the fuck are you doing? I know. You're out there. You got a nasty. You're pulling from retirement. For what?

For what? What are you talking about getting... It's only going up. you're spending on it because minimum wage payments without any purchases it would go down it would go down and the reason i bought it on the capital one was to save 1.5 percent and i've been paying interest on it the cash back yeah and i've been paying interest on it and that was my bed three hundred forty one dollars in interest on a monthly basis what the fuck are you talking about i forgot to pay it off i was like trying but then it like hurts my heart to take from my retirement so I've been trying to kind of put it off and put it off.

And then I've been watching your shows. And I was like, Oh, what did you take away from that? That I need to pay off my credit cards so I don't pay interest. Huh, interesting. Our solution to do that is spend $5,037 this last month. Not really what I have. Yes, lady.

Not really what I advised in a previous episode as far as I know. I honestly don't know. I really thought that was just the painting. and then just like groceries. I have no idea. What the fuck is wrong with you? How do you not know? You swiped it.

You swiped it. I understand maybe don't know the dollar amount. Maybe know the exact purchase. But how the fuck do you not even know that this happened with this card? That the swiping wasn't even happening. Because I thought I stopped using that one because the balance was so high. So I switched to my MX, which I got up. Nope.

I mean, nope. I just don't know. You certainly didn't stop spending on this. Lady, listen, how long does this take to pay? off. The number one YouTube membership just got upgraded. And for this final week, you can join for free. Three exclusive shows every day, Monday through Friday.

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How long does this take the payoff? Seven years. Minimumanty payments without making any purchase. Seven years? 14. Okay, 31. Listen, I don't know the Florida's laws necessarily, but the fact is if you want to pass any of the assets onto your kids, they oftentimes have to settle your fucking dads.

Some of your fucking dads at least. Yeah, but there's hacks to that. There's hacks to that. There's hacks to everything with moving wealth. But the fact is, it's not a perfect, not a perfect thing. Death ain't a perfect thing. No. They don't technically have to pay it off because, well, unless they come forth.

Well, there is the reality in order for you to make your minimum fee payments in order to continue having these. You are pulling from retirement. That is certainly not going to them. Yeah, absolutely. Well, my retirement won't go to them anyways. Well, unless I die at 52. But I plan on, I don't believe in generational wealth. So.

This was given to you. On accident. My parents planned to use it all. I never got there. That's the problem is I live in this world where I watch them just say like, I'll wait, I'll wait. I won't go on vacation. I won't do this. When I retire, when I retire, when I retire.

And then they didn't retire. Yeah, but your family split between 90 and 50s. So listen. I know. I know. Okay, what are you going to do when the next thing's gone then? If you plan to spend it before 52. That is what I'm terrified of.

Okay. Don't spend it before 52. Problem solved. Go back to Florida. What do you mean? Why aren't you adjusting? That's a very basic premise. Yeah, especially with all the tariffs and everything going on.

I have no idea what's going to happen with stocks. What the f is tariffs impacting your OWS? Everything is in stocks. My emergency fund is my brokerage. That's not an emergency fund. You don't know what the f***. emergency fund is. It's the money that in case of an emergency, I would pull it out.

But it's invested in stocks, volatile stocks? Yeah. Well, they're not volatile. I mostly do ETFs. But. Yes, it's a fucking is. What ETS? It's like SPY and VOO.

What is it? SPY alone when the tariffs initially were announced and went and went down like what? Which is why I finally sat down and was like, I have to fix this because I am terrified. First step, emergency fund isn't in the stock market. Emergency fund is in a high-hield fucking savings, you tit. But I don't need a savings account.

It's losing, it'll lose money. It'll lose. I even use a high interest. Not necessarily. High-ield savings accounts are above inflation right now. I have some money in sort of one. It's not my money. It's complicated.

But what is it? So it's the cash of my self-directed IRA is currently in a high-yield savings account, earning 5%. How much? $150,000? I think it's at $1.000. 166 now. What the fuck is your problem? Why lose all this money?

Why lose all this money on interest? I have no fucking clue why I lose all this money on interest. Can I touch that one? Can I touch that one? No, I can't touch that one. That's in the self-directed IRA and then the IRS will come after me if I touch that. Well, yes. So I can't touch that.

I'm not even saying that, but I'm assuming there's so much more. Why are we accruing interest on a credit card in general? I forgot. Well, it's not that you can't touch it. But yes, you will face penalties. Yes. I actually won't face penalties. I'll just have to pay income tax.

Yeah. that's not a penalty. I mean, I don't actually have to pay the penalties because my parents are technically... You mean the early withdrawal penalty? Yes. Okay. Well, the penalty being taxed? Yes.

Yes. But do you still pay off interest? Your income tax rate is less than 30%, which is what I assume this interest rate is. I told you I meant to pay it off. I forgot. What? I told you I meant to pay it off.

I forgot. Um, I think your husband got very lucky. Ex-husband. And yes, his net wealth has doubled. I found out from the modification. Yes, the classic net wealth. So, you know, no. I think it's because you're kind of a lying dick.

Meant to pay this off, shut the fuck up. You've paid this much interest every month this year so far. Meant to pay off, you've never almost paid it off once this year so far. That is a lie. It has accumulated $1,500 in interest this year so far. That is a fucking lie. I don't want to hear it. What a joke.

What a joke. The points were like... I don't want to fucking hear that ever get in my life. The points were like 600. I've made $600 on that card, so I paid $1,000. in... 500? $1,500.

Interest this year so far? Okay, and I've made $600, so if I had paid it off like I was supposed to, then I would have been ahead. I just forgot. But you forgot for seven months. I just forgot.

For seven months. So I don't know what the fuck you're talking about it. This is a big sense. What are we doing? Oh, we got Google One. I switched the American Express so that I wouldn't keep putting money on it. I thought I did.

I don't know. I'll have to look at the statement. I'll look at the statement. Because I honestly, I don't know to put on it. Why don't you care about what happens to your kids' financial situation after you're gone? They're fine. They have an education fund and that's all they need. And how much is in it? Each? Yeah. Each one has 35,000. Okay. I mean, there's certainly definitely community college and

I mean, most people borrow $40,000 in student loans. That's the median. Their dad takes care of it. So it'll be good and safe. Okay. So, but you could set them up to, to open their businesses, fast-track things. Maybe they get a quick step towards retirement. Absolutely. I mean, if I make it past 50. Yeah, but your money won't. According to you.

That's why I'm here. That's why I'm here. It's because I want to make sure it lasts. And I want to be able to help my kids because my parents, even before they passed, before I received all this, they helped me. And I want to be able to help my kids when they need it. Okay.

You think you're going to die in 12 years? Yeah. We did the math on your retirement, which is almost a million dollars. So what you got? Yeah, at your current spending, it's gone in 10. It's gone in 9. It's gone in 9 years. So that's before you even die at your likely, unlikely, unlikely death.

So... I used to have a higher income, and I'm hoping for a higher income. Hope or work for it? What do you mean hoping for? What is hoping for a higher income? I'm confused. Your spending is draining your entire nearly million dollars across the board in nine years. I've been unemployed for a year and a half because I've been in nursing school.

No, you're still making money. So I got a job over the summer. So it's only for the summer? After the summer's done, you're... Yeah, because I have to go back for my last... So I was previously an andrologist. Okay. And...

Do it again? Uh-huh. Do it again, maybe? I don't know. So I can't in nursing school. Wages are stagnant. I'm making the same exact. amount that I made 12 years ago.

So... Girl, you think you're going to die in 12 years. What is this like return? What is this return you're hoping to achieve? So, what are you trying to do? The most I ever made? Oh, you seem like a nurse too. Oh.

My mother's nurse, but she's nice. I am very caring. Very nurturing. Actually, I lied. I want to work in the OR because I don't like people. So at least I'll be knocked out. We're the Hartford.

With decades of experience insuring millions of unique small businesses when it comes to your small business insurance, Thank you. One size, absolutely does not fit all. Get a quote or find an agent today at thehartford.com slash small business. But I still care for them. So it's gone in nine years.

I still care for them. It's gone to nine years. What are you doing in nine years? Because good the fuck. I'm increasing my income. Maybe. Definitely. I hope so.

Definitely. Okay, how much nursing schools left? One semester. One class. Okay. So I'm done in December. But all of the nursing school. You're going to double your income?

Because remember, you're double your income? Because remember, you're doubling your spending from your income. Not quite, but yeah, I'd be going from 63 was the most I ever made. And I would be if I work nights, which I already work nights. If I work nights, I can make up to like 104 starting. And what about the kids? Child care, but he pays 70% of that.

So kind of cuts my child care costs. Okay. So you'll just never see them. No, I see them. If you're working nights every day. Yeah, but I don't go in until like seven. Okay, so you'll see them for two hours? Well, they get home at like four or five.

Commutes. I just, the other job, I was like, I was just doing semen all day, and I was like over it. What, nut? Yeah. What's wrong than nut? Well, nothing except it stinks, but. It's a bit stinky. It smells like pancake batter, it's true.

Pancake batter. Yes. That's nice. Rotten pennies. You know that smell on green pennies when you have green penks? that's in your hands. This does not smell like metal. So where to God?

Put it in a cup. Close the lid. Open it up in an hour. No, thank you. Well, that's what it smells like. Okay. So.

Yeah. So I got tired of it. So, oh, be in nursing school. It helps my income. Even at your night school, net pay still doesn't get you

to your spending allocation for how much you're spending. 107, won't too? No, not after taxes. With the 2150. You're spending $10,500 in a month. But with the 2150, that brings me up to like 120. So I can spend $10,000.

I can get your tax credits, of course. But I don't. I get one. Oh, that's right. That's right. Well, okay. Well, that's, yeah, it's not going to do much. For net.

Of course, it is helpful, but for net. Okay. So after taxes, I'm going to say, you're going to go. And that's if I get a night job. Yeah, that's if you do, night. No, you're still dramatically under a couple thousand bucks for your current spending. So this doesn't fix all your issue. This doesn't fix all your issues.

Just not spend it. Let me listen. You're going in here getting Google. One, Canva. What do the fuck would you even need Canva? Joanne stores, dominoes. Oh, school. And it's a right off.

Dominoes? No, Canva. Scramble Day Cafe. Got premium Texas Roadhouse, eBay. They really like Texas Red House. Camp. I don't give a fuck. I like paying bills.

eBay, is that my watch? I don't know. I don't know. How the fuck would I know? I don't give a fuck. The amount. I don't know. Paying for ring a lot.

Double ring, double ring payments. No, that's just that month. So it's a year. Two, twice? It's the year. Twice, though. Camp Linguar? That's my kids camp.

So that's a sweep-up sleepaway camp. Well, great. That doesn't fit in the budget. So he paid you, he gave you money. Yeah, 70%. Yeah. Okay. So.

Then why the fuck did you not put that towards your card? Because you certainly didn't. Now you're paying interest on it. 28.24%. I don't want my irresponsibility to affect them. So I will continue to take on debt in order to... What the fuck you're talking about? No, no, no, that doesn't make any sense.

If he gave you 70%, why wouldn't you at least put that 70% towards this? I haven't gotten it yet. He takes a sweet time. This is a month and a half ago. Yeah. Yeah. He takes a sweet time. I'm trying to get child care costs from May.

And? So it takes time. I'll get to it. He'll get to it. He'll get to it. Will he? Yeah, eventually. He does.

Like I said, he's really good with money. He pays everything. Except for you. That's true. Why? That's true. Well, he does. It just takes time.

Why not pay on time? He wants proof. He wants me. Then I have to sit down. I got to find receipts. Oh, that's fair enough. You are in irresponsible creature. That is true.

Oh. That is true. That's fair. That is fair enough. He's valid in that. I think it's crap. I don't ask him for money. Solopreneurs, listen up.

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because letting leads slip through the cracks is basically giving away free cash, and we do not do that around here. What? I've never asked them for anything. You're talking about. Child's always not asking for money. Yeah, but paying for the camp and everything And you're asking for more money

Were, but you're not willing to provide your finances Because he'd yell at me He'd yell at you? It doesn't matter. What, okay, here, let me ask you this If you filed for that, you know, three year thing Adjustment and you provided your statements Doesn't matter what's in your statements for it to be approved?

No, because I didn't. So it does fucking do it? But then he'll look. Who cares? He was already pissed off. I think this whole thing stemmed because... No, no, no, no.

Does it matter? He'll get pissed off. So what? I got myself a Rolex for Christmas, and he was there, and I loved to look on his face. But now... What are you all venge, bitch? Like, I'm so confused. Yeah, he never bought me a single piece of jewelry except for my engagement ring.

And so when I got myself the Rolex, which I had been looking at for 10 years. Because his investment didn't pay off. He is doing better without me. I will admit that. Okay. I was just joking. He is. But good for him.

Good for Guy. He still sleeps with me though. Uh-huh. Still sleeps with me though. You fuck. How frequently? Three times a week. Two times a week.

What the fuck? He lives in... That means nothing to me. I don't know. Okay, so he lives like two and a half hours away. So when I go drop off the kids. Three times a week? Well, and then I drive a lot for my job.

So he doesn't have a girlfriend? Not that I know of. I thought you said he was living better off. I think if I stopped sleeping with him, he would get a girlfriend. Fair enough, he's probably just kind of enjoying that, like, single for the first time in a long time, but he's still getting, he's still fucking. It's like the only time that we get along. So. Oh, yeah, it's sex.

That's what sex is. It's like, you know, sticking in the butt. Let's go. So. But the look on his face at Christmas was nice. I have it. You want to see? Oh, kill me now.

It's not even cute. It's from the 1980s. Wonderful. It's not cute. It's not cute. diamonds. It means nothing to me, but I also don't care about watches. I have an Apple Watch. Okay. So 1980s, woo. Another inflationary high time. You're going to bring that up?

My dad bought one for my mom. It got lost after she died. So I wanted the exact same one. Yeah, they were married. You're not. I don't care. It was a deal. I got on eBay. Deal from who? It usually runs like 5,200 and I got it on eBay for $4,000. You don't know fucking money. I saved $1,000. That's a lot. Is this healthy? what you guys are doing? Is that like 20%? I save 20%.

Is it not preventing you guys moving on? It absolutely 100% is. Okay, stop. Why? Go find some fucking Cobble Beach. Fucking. So I told you I don't like people. I don't, I don't want to date.

I'm not interested in dating. You don't have to date. Dude, you're on the easy side. That's what he says. No, it's true. If you want to, you could just go. But I don't want to. Oh, okay.

Well, there you go. I was just going to say, but I'm suggesting you guys just move on. Wait, why aren't you moving on? I don't have an answer for that. I mean, it's just easy, I guess. We've been together for like 22 years. Why are you going off? Why are you diddling every time?

You personally? Me personally? Yeah. Why are you doing it? Why not moving on? This is not healthy. I know. I've asked chat.

Like what I should do. I love chat. Chepti. Oh, I thought you meant fucking chat. Okay. No. No. I don't know. I honestly, I can't answer that. It's just, it's easy. It gives me the comfort that I

need without having to expose my children to anything. Let people know where comfort. Ambition comes in all shapes and sizes. At First Citizens Bank, we roll with your goals because we're built for what you're building. Fit for your ambition for Citizens Bank. Does the job. Does the job. Okay. I don't know. It keeps us friendly when we're not, because like I said, we've been on and off. So if we get in a fight after the Rolex, he didn't sleep with me for like weeks. You're wanting more money.

But you blowing all your money on a $4,000 Rolex for no stupid reason. So he slept with me and then at noon I got served with papers. I like this guy. So thanks. Thanks. I was pretty pissed. I was pretty pissed. That was a good day for him.

One, two, punch. Like, if you look at our text, they said, hey, you down for a booty call. He's like, sure. Oh my gosh, you guys are like 14. I know. We always have been. It's been fun.

We just don't get along, unfortunately. But then my next sex was like, you fuck face because, yeah, I got those papers. So. Dude's on a mission. The watch was a gift for yourself for quitting smoking. congratulations you're not trying to die as early i don't give up and that is something i want to do so i mentioned to your people you need to do like a sponsorship with like a smoking cessation program

or something because every single person i see on here vapes or smokes or something and it's three hundred dollars a month over three hundred dollars a month for me i could that's my car payment i could pay my car payment you're doing that i know and i want to quit so quit it's hard it is hard I'm working on. No one's saying it's easy. I don't see you doing anything. No. No.

Okay, so I want to quit. Yeah, I do nothing. Like, what the fuck? And how would us have been having a sponsor even helped that? Well, you, because you give away, like, classes and stuff like that. It saves money. Classes? For quitting smoking?

No, but you do like the course things and the budgeting app and all of that. All the good stuff. And so, if you had some kind of like smoking cessation program, that would save me $300 a month. How about just don't get lung cancer and die early for the sake of your family and grow the fuck up. I'm dying at 52 anyways. Not necessarily, but certainly on your track. What do you think? Heart disease and stroke leaving causes of. Huh? And I have high blood pressure. Oh, why don't you continue

smoking those packs? But I have nice teeth. Huh? But I have nice teeth. And actually, TSA took my toothpaste today. I'm pissed. I have to go get new toothpaste. Dude, I don't give a fuck. Just saying. Okay, Blue Cash. Tell me. What's up? No idea. What's Blue Cash? Oh, the Amex? Yes. So, that's the one I switched to. So Amics,

I get 6% on grocery. and 3% on gas. It doesn't matter. You're getting $40 and $30.25 of interest. Why do you care about points? You forgot again. Again.

Yeah, no, that is the problem. Okay, so. Wait, you didn't even pay. Is there a lifee in here? Yes, that's the 40. You're a fucking lifee? I forgot. What is wrong with you?

You're a mother. I forgot. I forgot to pay the bill. You forget everything other than to go suck your exes dick three times a week. That's the only thing you remember. That's for the moment. I don't have to remember anything. But I have that, like, all I do,

I just called him up and I'm like, yo, like, I forgot. It's my first fee. Is this so stupid. What is wrong with you? They take it off. Yeah, but this is two cards in a row where you're just like, I forgot. They take it off. The late fee, sure.

But in terms of the balance and everything, this is your second card in the road. We're like, yeah, I just forgot. It's not cute? What is that? What the fuck is that? I forgot. What do you mean?

And then I forgot about my other credit card payment, so I backed my mortgage this money. Yeah, because you're a joke is your financial irresponsible and no one should give you money. I want to take child support away from you. He would do. better if he handled it. Huh? He would do better if he handled it. Who would? Yeah. Because if he took the 2150 and like actually like.

Allocated it properly? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because you're a joke. Man, if you're out there, I understand it probably feels nice for a solid two minutes. Please stop sleeping with this woman. Why? He doesn't. She just needs to fucking go. She just needs to go leave.

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Only see her on the exchange of children. I'm addictive. No. What are you talking about? He loves me? No. You fuck him. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I got nothing else. I've never stopped. So I don't know if he'd leave me if I stopped. He would. I will speak for him.

I will speak for him. I even get the minimum monthly payment on the first card. 520, how the fucking your irresponsibility is leading these minimum payment so you can't even come close to a 40. And then on the blue cash it is $157. And what in the $1?41. And what the whole do you pay in these minimum monthly payments? Good luck.

I have no idea. Well, I'm okay. I'm scaling back. I'm scaling back. I'm scaling back. You're not. I have your stuff. You spend.

double what you make. Shut the fuck. Well, I was going to buy a Lubiton purse and chosen out to. Oh. But now I'm getting ads. Okay. If two people meet and kids are born and they get separated, the primary caretaker should get the child support. The other person, uh, the primary caretaker should get the fucking child tax credits. If that person goes, blows all their money in Louis Vuitton, fucking painting in a Rolex, that money should be taken.

taken away. That money should be taken away and the kids should be given to the other person. First of all, they can't be. I'm an awesome mother. They can't be because he travels all the time. That's how he makes all his damn money. Yeah, it'd be, I can't just take them.

Them going with him would be a better life. Listen, I use my money. I do not use child support. No, do not understand that it all goes into a pile. Doesn't matter. If you calculate, yes, I use this. It doesn't though. No, if you use this $1 from pulling from retirement,

if you're putting in this on a credit card. This credit card, it gets paid in the chicken account where your retirement pull gets from and where your child support goes as well. And I do want to fix that. But, but like, I want to get to a point where it's just my income and child support are completely financially supporting.

Yeah, you've done nothing to do it. That takes 13 years to pay off. Getting Wendy's, breeze through Minimark, getting some bullshit. Breeze through the cigarette. Huh? Breasters the cigarettes. Yeah, let's smell like shit for the rest of our lives.

You're right. It does. It stinks. I want to quit. I'm surprised someone even is was sleeping with you. Binar bread, Dunkin' Donuts. I shower before.

No, trust me. That does not fix everything. I know. He won't kiss me. Yeah. You're disgusting. Dunkin' Donut. Siffre products.

McDonald's breached through Minimart. Again, more cigarettes every second of our life. I know. I want to quit. Cigarettes. I want to quit. Does nothing to do it. Shut the fuck out.

Double hoagies. Cigarettes. Cigarettes. Dunkin' Donuts. Cigarettes. How many? How many packs? Food and cigarettes.

What are you got? How many Sigs? For 15 years, I was a pack and a half a day. No, no, a pack a half every two days. Now I'm at a pack a day. What is wrong with you? I know. Nursing school. Nursing school.

Cigarettes, shut the fuck up. Other people go through nursing school without killing themselves. Shut up. That's true. A lot of nurses smoke, though. A lot of people kill themselves. Yes, a lot of people do a lot of bad things. A lot of people make horrible life choices.

That does not mean you do. You're right. Cigarettes, cigarettes, Friottes, Denny's, vending, cigarettes, cigarettes, McDonald's, Wendy's.

Are the trips on this card? Cigarettes. Late payment, there it is. Interest accruing like crazy. Two late payments this year so far. So, she forgets.

She endlessly forgets. Are the trips on this card? It's going to suck when you forget to take your kid out of the car when you go inside somewhere one day. All you do is forget. I do.

I think the trips are on this card. So. What card? No, the camps. On the, didn't you just go through the MX? Yeah, I use the emmx in the color of your skin. What? Your smoke.

No. I absolutely can. I've had people tell me that, like, it doesn't look good. It does not look healthy. I can see it. You're killing yourself. Well, absolutely. I spent $6,000 on a face peel.

So hopefully that'll go away. 6,000? Yeah. An a peel? It's like a CO2 peel, so it like literally takes off the entire top layer of your skin. So I don't need Botox or anything every three months. It lasts for like 10 years. Okay.

Lizzie's given a question, questionable on it, and I trust her for skincare. It's a CO2 laser. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We know what it is, but you also look like you're kind of dying a little. So, I mean, the cigarettes are not just doing very well for your face. Absolutely. They're not, yeah. Or your lungs.

Nope. You're going to age like that. I know. And you're a facial person and peel when you're doing a pack a day? What the fuck are you? And sun damage, yeah. It's not going to do anything. You're killing yourself.

Yeah. Six thousand hour when? When was that $6,000 peel? In May. Like, I'm surprised it's not on here. I paid for it in May. I don't have your May purchases. You tit?

Oh. We're in June or July. Oh, my bad. You tit? What are you talking about May? I don't know. Well, it was in May, but I had to. cancel it, so now I have to reschedule it.

But you still paid for it? I still paid for it. So you're just draining your retirement to fucking get peels and watches and paintings? And traveling. This is so fucking stupid. What is wrong with you? You are a mother, barely. The traveling's for the kids.

Shut the fuck out. It is. It is. You could give them such a better life. What's better than going to international trips every single year? Every single year, setting them up for success. I have. They have an education fund?

Education fund. That isn't honestly fully funding a four-year institution. That is for sure. It's 35,000 at 10 years old and it's invested. You're right. That will probably get there for what it's worth. But you could help them open a business. You could help them put the down payment on their first house.

You could help them in so many ways that many other people do not get to do. But you're just like, you know, fuck it. I'm going to have fun. Fuck it. That's where you're at. Amazon card. The fuck is going on with this. Amazon? Amazon is just my Amazon purchases and DoorDash.

DoorDash, why on an Amazon card? Uh, oh, because I lost my cards. Yeah, well, this one's paid off every month. In Japan. And so... But you did spend $941, which is insane for your income. That is a fifth of your fucking income. And it's all on Amazon, Amazon, Prime Video.

DoorDash and Golden Something. Amazon, DoorDash and Beechside. Jordan. My kids like cheese. I don't give a... Your kids would probably love a down payment. If once they get a hard... house, door dashing firehouse, door dashing

Wendy's, Amazon, Amazon, Amazon, shut the fuck up. Door dashing number one, Amazon, Doordashing Wendy's, DoorDashing Wendy's, Amazon, Amazon, Amazon, Amazon, Amazon, Amazon. I got a fish. Huh? I got a fish. Like, just, like you have one. Let me guess. You're just using an investing app that doesn't invest in you. It is time to change that. Right now, Weibel is offering up to a 3.5% match when you open an IRA with them.

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and make the switch to Weebel. Go to weble.com slash K slash Caleb or hit the QR code or the link below. Let's get back to the show. Oh, you don't deserve anything. Pull out your phone. Hold on. Pull up Amazon. I don't even know what I'm.

I don't even know what I bought. Shut up! Shut up! Just pull up Amazon. I need to get it. You don't have to fill the air with words. Why not? Cut, shut the fuck up.

Deal. Yeah, God. I don't even know. Can't even afford a nice phone when you're spending this all on bullshit. That's a very nice phone. I like, and I keep my phones for a long time. It's a Samsung note. It means nothing to me.

iPhone is garbage if you want to keep. Sure, maybe. But about all Amazon. This looks like a piece of shit. I really like that phone. No, it's performing. Okay, for it on the scroll test. Okay.

Yeah, some bullshit. Yeah. So I sort of do grocery shopping there too. Toothbrush, batteries, endless batteries. Okay, we do not need to get an aquarium that is an expensive hobby because a lot, you've cut. She spent a lot on that. I told you. I watched a tetra gasping for air.

and I immediately had to go and get. Yeah, maybe you shouldn't have it. How long did you have it? Did you put it in the day you made your tank? Two weeks? No. My beta was in there. Yeah, my beta was in there for like three months

and then I put a couple Tetra's in there for her to play with. Well, it probably wasn't adjusted then. It probably didn't have the adequate plants and shit. Yeah, no, it totally does. I almost took a picture for you because I saw yours in the background. If it was gasping for air, I don't know. I think it just.

I got the bubbler. So the other ones are fine. Yeah, I know. Now, Indian almond leaves her beta fish. What the fuck is wrong with you? Leggings, pants. Yes, you just can't afford it and you're begging for more money.

Shrimp cave. Oh, I got shrimp, but she killed him right away. So she uses the cave. Vicks. That's to cover the sense when I'm working. Shut up. What? H2, uh, CO2 aquarium background thing.

Told you. Told you. Told me what? Did you get a fish tank? I believed you. It's the fish. Yeah, I wasn't. questioning whether or not you got a fish tank.

Beta fish bullshit, dumb, dumb bullshit, landscape fabric, dumb bullshit. Zip ties. This is a lot of spending that you definitely don't need. And it's actually, this is less than a month. The Plotties board, fuck off. I haven't opened a Plattie's board. This is not survival stuff.

I love the hobby, but you do not need it. Your money is going to run out before you even think you're going to die. This is a joke. And that's even with your fucking income boost, honestly, because you're spending well more than you make. K's Lowe's cards paid off every month But you're I forgot

You're a moron I rarely use it I rarely use it You're a moron I know That one I take full- What's wrong with fucking auto pay? So that one is now on

Auto Pay Because I heard your voice in my head It's disgusting So I put it on auto pay Fucking super fans Listen I like your show This makes no sense

You made the smallest Purchases in the world and the minimum monthly payment would have taken care of it. But then you had a late fee because you can't deal with anything. You have no ability to be responsible. What a joke. What a joke on something's so little. It's so stupid.

A lot going on. What? Oh, my God. I go to nursing school. I have a job. I have three kids. You're not in nursing school right now. It's summer.

You swap both. They are not at the same time. So do not name them at the same time. Shut the fuck up. You have kids. You chose to bring them into the world. That's what happens. Every parent has kids.

I don't know if you know this. Okay. Congratulations. So you have kids. You're working. You have no other parents do that. What else is going on other than your yearly world travels and sucking three times a week? I don't suck.

It's for poor people. No wonder you guys got divorced. Fair. For poor people? You've never heard that? It's a Paris Hilton quote. No, I'm not a... Hmm?

Kind of a dick thing, is it? What? A quote? Yeah, Paris Hilton said she doesn't suck dick, only that's for poor people. When her sex tape came out. You're on your way. Oh, no, we have to go on a yearly vacation. Ooh.

What else? Takes a lot of planning. Shut the fuck up. What else? Especially with child care. Shut up. What else? I don't know.

So that was it. That was it. Okay, well, you said a lot is going on. And work. Work and school. Not at the same time. Not at the same time. Incorrect.

Lies. Shut up. Incorrect. Am I nicer yet? Because I'm in a relationship. Shut the fuck up. No, you're not. Damn right.

So that was a bullshit excuse. Great. Okay. Wonderful. Yeah. You just want to enable yourself endlessly to make just, you just want to essentially excuse all your misbehavior. It's ridiculous.

What's your car? 22 Ford Escape. It's a PHAV though. What does that mean? So it's a place. plugin hybrid. So I saved money on gas? Yeah. And what's the interest rate on this car? I

don't know. I thought it was 12, but I think it's a lot lower. But you saved money on gas. 12% interest. You do. That's wrong. I don't think it's 12. I don't think it's 12. I don't know. I have to pull it up. I have to pull it up. You'd be the one that fuck does. You're lucky you have equity in this car. I have a lot of equity in this car. Probably thanks to the guy. The guy? The ex?

No. I pay it out with. my own money. I paid half down 50%. Your parents money. Okay, $14,415. Yeah, you know, you've earned nothing in your life. You own... No, no, no, $4,000. $4,000. $4,000. $4,000. Great. $14,000, $1,000 and $18

is what the car is owing on and $12% interest rate. Maybe $23,000 is its value. But a $483 minimum payment. It's not even about the car having equity is about the fact that you have a minimum fee payment on that you can't afford. If you cannot afford your minimum payment So why are we having all these high balances on cards And not even thinking about them Wipe them

Wipe them because your market return is not the 30% That you were paying an interest Wipe them and probably pay off the car as well If it's 12% So I did the math and it is 30% In the last year and a half I have made No that is one year That is not a rolling average

That is not a rolling average You actual creature That is not a rolling average You're getting 10% on average probably. I can't tell what my rolling average is because I keep taking my out. You said it's in the S&P 500 ETF. It's an 8 to 10% rolling average.

It's not just SPY. I'm in Google. I was in Tesla. Maybe 12%. But that is your rolling average. Up years, down, yours combined. Tesla's flat over the past few years.

So what the fuck you're talking about? All I know is it is not being a credit card on average because the credit card will stay the same. Those stocks will not. Next year might be a down year. You don't know. You don't fucking know. You're right.

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additional terms, conditions, and restrictions apply. It's gambling, sort of. Gamp. What? No, it's just interest accruing. That's not gambling. What are you talking about? I mean, in the stock market.

It's sort of gambling. I don't know. I could lose it tomorrow. I can lose every single dime tomorrow and all of my money is in the stock market. All I'm saying is, you know for a fact, this is accruing 30% in interest and the car is 12%, which is over the historic market returns on the end of, I'll be just down years, combined basis. Just pay them off and then budget.

You can't afford minimum payment. You need to go no minimum payments and I live on an incredibly strict budget because you're a mother. I need to figure out how to pay them. I don't know what to pay them from. You can pull and you pay. How have you been polling so far? So I've been pulling from my inherited account because I don't have to pay the penalties. But I also have a brokerage that I can pull from.

Then I pay capital gains. Yeah. So I'm not sure which ones to pull it from. Long term, though, probably. Um, what? Oh, yeah, yeah, long term. Yeah, I haven't made any trades in a long time. Um, so I don't know which one is better. Like, I don't know tax wise, like which one I should pull from. And then. But either way, honestly, with most, you're probably going to get a return on investment either way. But this is the, maybe not with the car. Honestly, maybe not with the car. But with the credit cards, yeah. Say that again. Either account you pull from with the 30% interest rate on the card, you will probably get a return on the investment. from either account you pull from. The car, not 100% sure.

I was. Especially if you don't really know the interest rate. You said it's probably 12, but now you think it's lower. I don't know. I mean, I think I gave you, I think I gave you the, um, I don't have it.

I know, I, I might have forgotten. Yeah. Hmm, these lucky kids. I am actually a really good mom. Yeah, but you forget everything. I'm not perfect. No one is. No one would suggest that you should,

be because it's impossible, but you forget everything. I do, I do. And then you think it's cute. Like, shut the fuck up. I don't think it's cute. Well, yeah, I forgot. This is like your thing. It's your catchphrase.

I'm working on it. I'm working on it. So I've got notes set and stuff so that this doesn't happen. Did you get the largest chunk of the portfolio? What do you mean? Retirement, the portfolio from your parents? I know we split some houses. Why did you get the most?

Oh, from my sister? No, we split it evenly. Oh. So all of the accounts went. half and half. And then... Her parents are wealthy. No.

And then the property... The property we divided based on equity. And then she bought me out of one of the properties, which is that money went into my kids' education fund that funded that.

She's a doctor. My sister's a doctor. I don't give a fuck. She doesn't have to worry about all that. She's just fine. It doesn't matter. You could be a high earner and be even more financially irresponsible.

That means nothing to me. Sally May. So I knew we were going to get there. And I want to explain my thinking before you. I want to explain something before you yell at me. Okay. The way I thought about this was that I'm making more in the market than I would if I pulled the money out of the market to pay cash for my school.

But that's literally incorrect. It's 13% interest. Your market's getting 10. I started school in January of 24 and I have made $30,000. You have made. But that mathematical equation. is incorrect because on average, again, this 13% is not changing on average.

You're getting 10%. You got lucky with the market. You were not able to strategically plan that. You got lucky with the market. It could have completely done the opposite as well. Yes. But no, on average, especially with how long this loan's going to last. No, you will, in the most likely circumstance,

in the most likely timeline, you will lose more having this than in the market. On a historic basis, 13 or 10, what's higher? I know. And that's why I needed help. Because I think I have great ideas. What the fuck you're talking about? Well, because I think I have great ideas.

They're not trying to be convoluted and wild. Just follow basic. Okay. It wasn't basic at the time. I saw my account making 30%. You get as a guest on the show, you get access to Dollar Wise Central, which has all of our educational programs from debt, from budgeting, from investing, to recession, preparing to careers, to the,

the basics to everything. You get all of it. Take all of our educational programs and use the premium version of our budget app. You get it for free. You guys all get it for 80% off. And dowaz.com, but you get it for free.

So take advantage of it. And that at least helps understand this. Okay. In fact, we're doing like a basics class right now for people that are just getting started and it explains this literal exact thing. When it comes to what's good bad debt, this is bad debt.

I thought it was good debt. Well, it's not even close to good debt. Okay, so selling me, when did you, borrow this? Because it's... I started taking out in January of 2024. Oh, fuck me. Okay. Yeah. It hasn't moved. $19,851.50.

So it was the last time you took a draw, a borrow. I really did. I really did. Actually, and this one, that's a whole other thing. But I really did because I'm doing interest-only payments right now. So I really did. Autopay exists. But if I auto pay, then I over with... Then I over...

because I forget to move money. Then we don't go on vacation. Then we don't go out to eat. But it's not that I can't afford it. It's that I forget to move money. You can't afford it. You're pulling from retirement. That's not affording it.

You can blow through the next day if you want, but it's not going to take you to the end of life, most likely. Continue a pack a day, maybe, but. That's fair. It's not a joke. I didn't know it would run out in nine years. I hadn't done the math. So that makes me sad.

Okay. There's how much. much exists there, give it a 10% return, and divide how much you pull from it on a yearly basis. And it's very easy. That would have taken you about 30 seconds for nine years of pain. Your lack of being able to do anything and endlessly forgetting is astonishing. Almost impressive.

Thank you. Yeah, if I didn't hate your guts. I don't hate you, but it's fucking ridiculous. Your minimum monthly payment is 204.55. Of course, you're behind. So this is ridiculous. 204.5.5.

I really don't want you to turn the page. No, what then? I don't even know what to say. I've got nothing to say. You did all this within a year? A year and a half. That's... She has another 40.

$0.34 cents. And Sally, May debt. And I think that one's late too. No, but it probably is at this point. Oh, then that one's on autopay. I knew I had one of them on autopay. You're absolutely ridiculous.

43,000? What school are you going to? What are you born from? So it's an accelerated program. I'm getting my bachelor's in 16 months. This is still insane, though. Your bachelor, most people, median borrows 40,000.

You're well above that and two loans combined. 40,000, which is the federal, is for school. Federal? I haven't even gotten to federal yet. Yeah. I told you not to turn the page. That the Sally Mae is to live off of so I don't have to pull it from my retirement. You live it off a sick.

That Sally ass whore. My cash makes more money. Shut the fuck up. That is not true on average. And I've learned that now. Shut up. You're a fucking tit. You're a tit.

You're a tit. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm crashing out. I got it back. I got four hours to sleep last night and very tired, so I was going to crash it out. I'm not one of those ones that's like, oh, well, it'll go away. Like, I plan on paying all that.

No, but you're equally as I thought you've done. Fuck! I'm sorry. You threw worse fits than my kids. Because they don't know how moronic their mother is. Oh, yeah, they do like me. Yeah, their fit if they knew this is they would swole. swim into the ocean and never come back.

I hope they don't have to take student loans. If they do what you do, they will. Well, if their money's making more in the market. Quiet now. Kidding, that was a joke. Quiet. Hush now. Ficking hush.

This is never going to get paid off with its minimum payment of two. What the fuck with this? It's just, it's just, it's just, it's just only. Shh, shh, shh. Go smoke a cigarette and die in 12 years. Shh. Then my kids will get money.

Shh. Not the retirement. Not your boyfriend. probably $238 and 31 cents. So how is a beach house $415,000 hours? That doesn't make sense.

Is it a condo? What is it? It's a house on the beach. Four bedroom too bad? Literally on the beach. No, no, no. I live like two or three blocks from the beach. Okay.

On the beach. Shut the fuck up. I'm living on the barrier island. I have to cross the bridge. You don't live on the beach. We're not on the mainland. We don't live on the beach. Shut up.

Shut up on the beach. Well, that's what. You don't know what the fuck. Yeah, because you're not on the beach. You're not on the beach. Fuck off beach. You're not on the beach. Don't give yourself that privilege beach.

Fuck off beach. You're not on a beach. Fine, I'll sell it and I'll go get one on the beach. Shut the fuck. We can't afford a single dick. Shut up. That makes no sense. Okay, here's a mortgage and here it is.

And this is that a great... It's at a very good rate. I told you I was stuck in cash. No, no, no, no, no, no. I thought you said you brought in the fucking cash. No, I put 40% down. Oh, okay. Well, at a good rate.

I moved. $225,612. Yeah, for a house near the beach. Near. Thank you for correcting. Oh, okay. Don't give yourself that privilege. I have sand in my front yard.

Why it now? $2,040.24. Yeah, it's not a bad house. Listen, but you said you said you lose money. You mean by lose money from your purchase price, but you wouldn't be underwater. You wouldn't have to come up with something. No, my house is underwater, but like this,

quiet now. Hush now. Hush. You be quiet now. How are you going to get that? Quiet now. Okay. Collections?

What is wrong with you having collections? That is. I forgot. I forgot. No, no. That is principal. I'm leaving that on a trip this Thursday. Yeah, I've got WikiWatchi coming up.

That was my sister's idea. Did you just call me? It's a town called Wikiwachi. It has mermaids. Yeah. So. What world am I living in? What world am I living in?

It was my sister's idea. I said I'd pay for half. So we're going scalloping. It's on the other coast. It's still in Florida. I give up. I give up. Let's switch the communism or fascism.

I don't care anymore. Let's go to one of the extremes. We're done. I'm canceling this country. We have failed. We have failed. I don't care which way we go. take all my money or give me all the money.

I don't give a f-we're done. We've lost it. People like this are mothers. Oh, we're done. Oh. I'm a good mom. For witch-you-watchy. For witch-watchy, mermaids?

Wiki-washy. Shut the fuck up. I don't care. It's their summertime. It's my kid's summer. It's everyone's summertime. Shut the fuck up. That doesn't mean we have to kill ourselves.

You heard? I'm not taking a plane. Like, it's just in Florida. Shut up. What is this more collections for? I told you it's on principle. I hate the medical field. Medical bill.

In your credit. Actually, yes, a court struck down the rules. Yes, because the, uh, uh, FBC, uh, I don't remember. FTC? No, no, no, no, no. The Protection Bureau, if I'm not mistaken, they put it in a rule that limited what could be reported on your credit when it comes to medical collections. And what would be due?

The court said, no, no, no, you can't do that. Congress must do that. Are you talking about the CFPB? Yes. Yes. Thank you. Yeah, I heard about that. However, I still think it's above $500 if I'm not mistaken.

And these aren't. However, it's still is throwing up on your experience. Well, maybe it's because it was before that rule was not enacted, but not past either, whatever. Yeah, I don't know. Okay, what is this? Stiffle? Stiffle. I don't know what you want to looking at.

Okay, well, $6,000. That's not going to last us more than a half a month. 161,000. This is my retirement. This is my money. This is non-ex-husband, non-parents. Oh, he is so lucky he gets to say the word X. Man.

I think I am. I want to shake his hand. 161,000 in this. is your that Roth, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But what? 161,000 in the rock. What is, does it say? Does it say what?

Oh, they blocked it off. Yes, we're protecting your privacy. I know. Well, I have two there. One is a managed fund, which I do actually want to get it. Okay, here's an inherited IRA. This is the 158. So the other one must be your manager.

So the other one is a self-directed IRA. Okay. Well. So that was invested in house. Oh, God. This has gone down from 100, basically, 200,000 hours to $158,000. Where's that? Schwab?

Yep. Yeah. I don't know. I want to say I transferred it somewhere or whatever, but I don't think so. I think I spent it. I just don't know why you do. Why? Why?

179 and this inherit... Two inherited IRAs? I have one Roth one traditional. Oh, okay. And then I have an inherited one that's managed. Here's the traditional. It went down from 238,200. 179.

We're throwing away everything. All the work our parents did were throwing it away. Okay. So one of them is actually my father. Actually? No, it's only, the only thing in that account is Apple. That's it. He bought Apple at $7 a share in 2001.

Congratulations. You've had to go down. And I've left it then. All right. And other Schwab won, down from $10,000 to $80,000. Ladies gentlemen, we're fucking winning the game. That's my emergency fund. When everything goes, uh, buy high, sell low, they say.

That's my emergency fund Shut off That's not an emergency fund Okay, 330,000 in this This is great Wow, it was 354,000 That's fantastic What's that?

I don't know what that one is Roth I don't know what that one is Freedom spending account You have you have freedom And you blew it That's my bills That's my bills

I don't give a fuck I don't give up I don't know All right income that comes in for now. And yes, I really, you need to grind on the fucking nurse life once you get it, but

okay. Your debt payments, not mortgage. Let's find out. Debt minimum monthly payments without your mortgage comes out to $1,593. $55. Okay, she's surprised.

I don't know how. Her mortgage is $2,040.24. Utilities, internet, all that stuff combined. Uh, water's 115. Utilities are 165. electricity is 165, internet and phones,

they're together, is 206. Hey! It's like aggressive? I have my kids' lines on there. $486. If T-Mobile is getting in your area, I would do helium.

It's cheap if you own your phones right out. Okay. Gas, room, room, drive, drive. $40 a month. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, car insurance. Uh, 600 every six months.

Oh. Okay, 100 bucks. Great. No, yeah. Complicated math. Okay. You get them five days a week? Who?

My kids? Wow. What's the, what's the split on this? He gets them every other weekend. Okay. Okay. So I'm going to say you could, Mm-hmm.

Thousand bucks. A thousand bucks for groceries because you're not going out. eat anymore. Congratulations. Welcome. Welcome to not going out to eat. TP found anything else you need to survive. This also goes to kids. Okay, your portion of the daycare, blah, blah, blah, child care, whatever. How much is that on a monthly basis? Come on. Freaking tricky. I don't know. Let me think. Hold on. What's the total? 50, 50, 50, 500 and then 70% or 30% of 200. For right now. That's it?

A week. Oh, okay. 200 and then 30% of that. Turns up by 52, divide that by 12. Okay, 260 for child care. And TP find anything else you need to survive, including for the kids, should be able to put you at $400.

A month now. I think we can go down to $300. It could be more expensive to come beginning of school time, obviously, but we budget those in. Medical health care, co-pays, anything? That's just about to hit. Yes.

What's just about to hit? Co-pays are going to be about, I don't know, I'd say 70 a month. Okay. 70 a month. Do you have any pets? Yes. I have a dog and a fish.

Okay, fish, no. And the dog, age and health. She's one and a half. Good. She's not neutered. I just got a quote for it. Okay. We're going to do $40 a month in pet insurance.

Dog food, fish food combined. How much? God, I don't even. Come on. $10 a month. She gets like a five-pound bag of Purina and then it lasts for months. Great. Really taking care of her.

She's amazing. That has nothing to do with what kind of food you got her. That also has nothing to do with what kind of food you get her. I know. I'm so fucking confused what you're talking about. Was 486 for the internet or 480? Internet and phones. 260.

With your utilities, I'll say 40. Sorry, it was combined. Necessary to survive 5,933. dollars and 79 cents. Of course, we know that makes us underwater decently. Not as much as I thought. Well, this is because you've never budgeted

and you've never cut back and you live life like you make so much more money because you spend $10,500 a month because you're a complete financial joke. Yes. And you're essentially a NEPA baby and not even NEPA baby, just a trust fund baby

and it's a sad excuse of an existence with what you're doing for it. I would trade all of it for my parents. I will tell you that. I just wanted to say. Yeah, most would. That means, congratulation.

Oh, sympathy and sympathy sad. Okay. Yes, we all would. Come on. I'd give anything for my parents to survive. That is a fine. Not like a Menendez brother or something. Fair enough.

Fair enough. Though they're out for parole. I heard that. If you budget, it's at least break-even, at least maintain your nest egg. You can pull, if you got basically a million bucks, what I will allow,

you can pull 40,000 hours a year, but that's it. That's so that it maintains. So what would I do? I would just pay all of my debt off right now. Oh, yeah, that's probably, and then live off that. Maybe not all the, no, no, not the house, not the high interest, not the low interest selling me, but the high interest salary may, the blue cash and the capital one, yes, I'd pay it off and close them.

You don't need credit, so it doesn't matter. Yes, do that. and then take 4% a year out of your portfolio indefinitely. Other than that, you earn what you want to spend. That's it. That's fucking it, dude. Join us in the post show. There's extra things we're going to get to talk about there always are.

And I don't know about them, but the producers are coming in. It's going to get crazy. We're going to do the financial score, hammer financial score. And then we'll get into the post show. But spending within a budget, you ever spend $0.0.10. Debt? Collection, zero. of 10. Emergency fund? There is no emergency fund. Zero out of 10. Retirement 10 out of 10. Real

estate, it's not perfect. It's a little down in value, but you do have an equity position. Great rate. I'll say a 7 out of 10. If you're not have an emergency fund, it is not properly invested. It's no, that is not an emergency fund. Shut the fuck up. We're putting that towards the retirement because that's what it's invested as. That is a Hammer Financial score 3.5 out of 10. Join Hammer Elite right now and submit proof of purchase at hammerleet.com. and I will cover the cost by sending you a digital gift card that can be spent anywhere in most countries, joyous for the post show. I want to call this guy. The whole purpose of coming here talking to you.

Get his f*** on the phone right now. This is even better because he has no idea who Caleb is. Hello? Hi, can you hear me? Is she there? She is. Say hi. They think you are smart to leave me.

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