Finding Mastery with Dr. Michael Gervais - Acceptance, Resiliency, and Gratitude | Artist, Henry Fraser

Episode Date: January 13, 2021

This week’s conversation is with Henry Fraser, a talented artist, who paints stunning landscapes, animals, portraits, and more.There’s one caveat -- he draws using his mouth, as an accident years ago left him paralysed from the neck down.So that would beg the question, how did he learn to paint?He began by using a stylus on his iPad, which he held using his mouth to draw.He then taught himself to use a pencil, and then paint, by fixing the utensils required a stick attached to his mouth.Henry is also an author – he wrote The Little Big Things, which won Non Fiction Book Of The Year by WHSmith.Losing your ability to move from the shoulders down at age 17 – that’s up there with the most difficult circumstances I can imagine someone having to deal with.So with that context, I think you can get an idea of why I wanted to speak with Henry.This conversation is about acceptance, resiliency, and gratitude.It’s about making the best of a situation, no matter how bad things seem on the surface._________________Subscribe to our Youtube Channel for more powerful conversations at the intersection of high performance, leadership, and meaning: https://www.youtube.com/c/FindingMasteryGet exclusive discounts and support our amazing sponsors! Go to: https://findingmastery.com/sponsors/Subscribe to the Finding Mastery newsletter for weekly high performance insights: https://www.findingmastery.com/newsletter Download Dr. Mike's Morning Mindset Routine! https://www.findingmastery.com/morningmindsetFollow us on Instagram, LinkedIn, and X.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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And for me, I guess that's what everything I speak about, everything I do reduces down to those few lines and the very final line of the book is just every day is a good day and I genuinely believe that in our lives in what we do we can make every day a good day by just doing certain things that we find our own ways, and I found mine,

but I genuinely believe we can make every day a good day. And I hope that all of you are able to find that. And, you know, it doesn't happen straight away. It's not an overnight thing. It takes time. It takes patience with yourself, patience with others. But it's worth it. Come the end of it, it's worth it.

And it might be tough at the start. it it's worth it and it might be tough at the start it will be tough but stick with it and every day is a good day okay welcome back or welcome to the Finding Mastery podcast. I'm Michael Gervais and by trade and training, I'm a high performance psychologist. And the whole idea behind these conversations is to learn from people who have committed their life efforts towards mastery. They might not call it that way, but that's essentially what they've done because they are so understanding of what it takes to grow and get better, whether that's essentially what they've done because they are so understanding of what it takes

to grow and get better, whether it's in their craft or themselves, that their knowledge and insights are gripping. And that's who is on this show. That's who's on this podcast, the extraordinaries, both in craft and of self. And so if we can get both of those together, we got a real winner of a conversation, and this is one of them today. And so if we get both of those together, we got a real winner of a conversation and this is one of them today. And so the whole idea though is to learn from these extraordinaries so that you can better understand

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variety pack, a $25 value and 10% off for life when you head to davidprotein.com slash finding mastery. That's David, D-A-V-I-D, protein, P-R-O-T-E-I-N.com slash finding mastery. Now this week's conversation is with Henry Fraser and you probably haven't heard his name. Unless you're deep into the art world, then you'll probably know who he is. He's a talented artist who paints stunning landscapes and animals and portraits in rugby players. Now there's a caveat. He draws using his mouth. He had an accident years ago that left him paralyzed from the neck down.

So that begs the question, how did he learn to paint? Well, he began by using a stylus on his iPad. And then he started to use that to, he put that in his mouth to draw. And then he converted that into a pencil. And then he converted that into paint. And then he started fixing utensils requiring, you know, the stick to be attached to his mouth in just the right way so that he can paint on canvas. It's remarkable. Now, I want to pause here for just a moment because he is the embodiment of resiliency and he is the embodiment of perseverance and all the stuff that is in all the right pop psych stuff and deep in the science that, as you know, that's where I spent most of my time. He is the embodiment of it. He is the person we study in the journals to say how.

How does it happen? He doesn't use those words. So I'm saying that to you because there's something really important to take from this conversation, which is for you to figure out what matters most to you. This mattered to him. And so he did whatever it took to figure it out. And he just chipped away and chipped away and chipped away and wait to hear him but more importantly wait until you see his work and i can't wait for you to send a photo of the work that you bought from him because you were just

flat out switched on about what's possible in your life based on how he thinks about potential and his story and you just want to have an emblem of his work in your home to remind you that there is so much more inside of you. It doesn't end there. He is also an author, and he wrote this beautiful book called The Little Big Things, which won Nonfiction Book of the Year by W.H. Smith. So losing your ability to move from the shoulders down to age 17, imagine that. And maybe you're listening and that's exactly what you or a loved one has experienced.

I think you're going to find something inspiring here. And if it hasn't happened to you or something of that nature, I want you to listen deeply. I want you to count your blessings and I want you to honor what it is that he's teaching us in his actions. All right. So I'm inspired by him. And you know, with the context that we're talking about, um, I want to speak to Henry about how and who he is. And this conversation is about acceptance. It's about gratitude. It's about chipping away. And it's about making the best of a situation, whatever that situation is. And when you double click under that, how do you do that? You make the best of this moment.

That's how you practice it. You make the best of this moment. Are the choices that you're making even right now working you closer to being fully present, to get glimpses of your potential, getting fully present so that you can see the brilliance in others or mother nature or yourself included. That's really how you do this thing now. You make, to make the best of a situation, you have to make the best of this moment. And then you stack it and stack it and stack it.

And then when a hard, challenging thing happens, you actually have the internal skill set to be able to navigate that well too, because you're practiced at navigating and adjusting and pivoting. That's how this thing works. With that, let's jump right into this conversation with Henry Fraser. Henry Fraser, how are you? I'm very, very good. Thank you. How are you? I'm delighted to speak with you. When we first met, I was like, oh my goodness, the insights that you hold, the experiences that you have lived, and the skills that you demonstrate from an inside-out perspective are extraordinary. So in advance, thank you for your time today. Thanks for having me on. Okay, brilliant. Okay, so let's do this. I would like to start wherever you want to start, but your story and your life experiences are incredible, and there's been incredible pain and a brilliant demonstration of resilience

moving to an artistic expression of life and so can you bring us back to early days in your life to set the frame for this conversation yes i'm i mean so i'm starting off now as a kind of position i'm in now i'm paralyzed from the top of my shoulders down and i have been this way now for just over 11 years and I mean everything I wasn't born this way I wasn't kind of it wasn't a thing from birth at all it was all started when I was 17 and on holiday with uh with my mates we're just you know lads first lads holiday away first time abroad our parents you know it's a good good fun time 17 year old boys just looking to have fun and we're in south of portugal so right in the mediterranean beautiful blue seas lovely warm

weather just beautiful beaches and i decided we're just mucking around one day on the beach throwing rock all around as we had done the previous three days we were there and i decided to just go around the water to cool down and where I run in um slightly different part of the beach that day we're on to the days previous and where I thought the seabed would continue to kind of trail off and get deeper and deeper I just dive forward and basically just head first into an undulating seabed and from that moment that kind of very kind of flash point of a second just everything in my life changed and I was expecting to get up at that point and go join my friends back on the

beach so I think about the night out you know what we're going to do we're going out for drinks and all these things but over my eyes just it's still in the water, just floating there. Just, you know, staring through this crystal clear water, nothing but the seabed and my lifeless arms just dangling in front of me. And at that point, I couldn't do anything. And, you know, that will always be the scariest moment of my life because at that point, you know, I could have very easily drowned, could very easily have very easily died that moment on that day and very luckily two friends close by and who I kind of managed to get my mouth

half out the water turning my neck slightly they just asked for as I can I barely managed to get the word now out and they just dragged me to the beach and you know from then it was I was then airlifted to hospital in Lisbon I then spent three weeks there with major operations and then flew back to England and intensive care for a few weeks, six months in hospital. And then now, I guess, trying to live the life I'm living now in a pretty different life then. And it's taken a while to kind of work out exactly how to do things. But, you know, that's, I guess that's just how it started. Okay. what is it like talking about it right now for you I mean I really I think I'm just so used to talking about

it now um I'm absolutely yeah I mean I quite I quite enjoy talking about it is I mean there's a huge moment in my life a huge turning point. And I think because all the good things that have come from it for me personally and through kind of all kinds of different sources, it's, you know, it's weirdly one of those things that has been a very positive impact, a hugely positive impact on my life. You broke your neck from, you're paralyzed from the neck down and the neck down. And you say, it's a very positive thing in your life. So I hear you and knowing you, I believe that statement wholeheartedly, but you know, it sounds almost like, um, you've had to convince yourself of that because that's the only option. So, and I want to understand how you say that, right? Because I think about my future. So Henry, in this conversation, I am looking to you as a teacher of the, to me, for me.

And I think I've been thinking a lot about this conversation with you. And I was wrestling like, okay, I want to learn from you. And then, but I will, if you'll give me permission, can I ask the, the question that I'm really struggling with? Yeah, please. Is that okay? Okay. So here's what I'm struggling with. I knew you were going to say that. I knew that you were going to say, I jumped in. I opened my eyes. I'm face down. My arms are dangling. I can't breathe. I can breathe, but I'm underwater, but I can't move. And six months later, you realized that you were going to be paralyzed, right? There was probably some hope early on. And I want to get to that part of the story in a minute because that's material. But I knew you were going to say

that my life is better because of that accident. So then I play that forward for me to try to understand that. I go, I can't imagine my life being better without being able to move my arms and my legs. But then I can't go any further. So you have gone further. And you're living that way. So help me understand it. Because, man, you're on something. You're on to something that I can't even get my my

head around yeah well I mean for me is I have everything I've been through I mean I think I took up pretty fast in the situation I was in I had to understand a lot of things about myself and about other people you know between the ages of 17 and 18 i had to think about a lot of stuff kids that age don't have to think about we never have to think about in their entire lives do you call it an accident or do you call it an event or do you call it yeah accident accident okay so this accident forced me was a forcing function to go deep and to examine. And you're doing it as a 17 to 18 year old. And so is that how I can think about this is that you had a forcing function in your life that forced you to answer and grok and wrestle with questions that most 17 and 18 year olds

don't wrestle with. And Mike, you're 40 40 some years old and you probably haven't deeply wrestled with them either is that fair no yeah because I mean I was having to I was still with a lot of stuff personally for me a huge huge monumental change in my life that you know early on it was obviously you know things there was always that kind of hope that things might change but I knew that I was having to deal with change but I knew that I was having to deal with a pretty serious situation plus I was having to deal with you know the people around me my friends and family that I guess kind of dragged into the situation with me um you know it wasn't their choice it wasn't my choice but we were in this thing together so it was having to think about them as well as as myself and it kind of made me look at them very differently.

And I guess just appreciate, especially my friends and family more and think more about gratitude and appreciation, all those things. But I was also able to, at that age, look back at kind of the first 17 years of my life, I guess, and think about, you know, the things that I, if I had the opportunities that I would have changed, I would have changed. Okay. So now I understand why. I don't understand because I haven't been through, intellectually, maybe I have, you know, like I've thought about like, okay, if I knew that I was going to be paralyzed, I mean, I actually haven't entertained this, but if I knew I was going to be

paralyzed, how would I live my life? Or if I knew I was going to die early or die tomorrow, how would I live my life? Like it's an intellectual exercise, I guess, but it's, there's something that I would, in fairness for me, I can't get past it being an intellectual exercise, which you have literally embodied it. And so there's something unique about you that you are mindful of the relationships that you dragged into or that because of the accident, you have dragged them into your condition, your new way of living and is now their new way of living. And so you went from, oh, me and my poor self, if you will, to, oh, them. And is this fair or, oh my gosh, getting to, wow, I really value them.

Yeah. Yeah. gosh getting to wow i really value them yeah yeah and and i was i mean there were times when i remember one particular day when some of my cousins went to visit me in hospital but kind of the moment they arrived i had this fever this temperature that just started to just go off the scale and the first thought in my head wasn't about how I was feeling my first thought was like oh crap I feel I feel rubbish the more for the fact that I've had to let them down because they've come here to see me and see my family and support us in this situation but I've had to kind of send them home I haven't wanted to but i've had to just because that day i was like i was really really ill and that happened two or three times that soon i was having to i was kind of battling with that a lot earlier on as well all those kinds of emotions and then having to understand that actually i i just kind of shouldn't really be feeling bad for that not in a

selfish kind of way but because that's something i can't control that's not my fault it's not my doing this whole thing is something that happened henry is that letting others down is that what um kind of was at the core of it or was it how do you capture that um that second order emotional thing that you were working with well i mean the whole letting people down thing is actually something that i guess kind of plagued me before my accident anyways it did it played okay the reason i say i asked that because i think that's my core my core fear i say i think i know it is you know it's it's not being good enough, like the fear of not being good enough. And so that was something that showed up early in your first 17 years.

Yeah, hugely. And Matt kind of obviously, I was involved in a lot of sport when I was young and played in a lot of sports teams and there's always obviously, there's a lot of people relying on me to do stuff and things and what does that mean henry how like how skilled were you and what was the reliance on you yeah when i was young i guess i was yeah i was a i was a good sportsman

a lot of teams i played in i was without saying too far out of my self. Go ahead. Yeah, okay. That was good. Good like regionally or good on your block or good nationally, good internationally? Where were you playing? Regionally, kind of South England, Southeast England, Rugby, County and stuff.

And yeah, I had success and across quite a few sports, which was lucky. I mean, it was, I guess, pre-rexit, growing up in a family where I'm one of four boys, an incredibly competitive household. And, you know, that was, so obviously sport was our thing. But also with that always where he's came this fear inside me of being in those teams and letting people down and always kind of throwing this pressure back on myself and all these things and you know before my accident I always defined myself by my physicality I guess um I never really thought about my mental side of things. I knew that I did have a lot of anxiety and angst

and I kind of held a lot of stuff in that I can look back now and fully understand what I was feeling and that I should have probably spoken to people and just changed how I was dealing with things, definitely. And obviously the accident has now completely reversed that thing, a complete polar opposite. All the strength I've got got now i've had to kind of move into my head and how to deal with things um and obviously my physicality is kind of all but all but gone i guess um so that was i

guess one of the big things that helped me understand. Finding Mastery is brought to you by Momentous. When it comes to high performance, whether you're leading a team, raising a family, pushing physical limits, or simply trying to be better today than you were yesterday, what you put in your body matters. And that's why I trust Momentous. From the moment I sat down with Jeff Byers, their co-founder and CEO, I could tell this was not your average supplement company. And I was immediately drawn to their mission, helping people achieve performance for life. And to do that, they developed what they call the Momentus Standard. Every product is formulated with top experts and every batch is third-party tested.

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Again, that's L-I-V-E Momentous, M-O-M-E-N-T-O-U-S, livemomentous.com, and use the code FindingMastery for 35% off your first subscription order. Finding Mastery is brought to you by Felix Gray. I spend a lot of time thinking about how we can create the conditions for high performance. How do we protect our ability to focus, to recover, to be present? And one of the biggest challenges we face today is our sheer amount of screen time. It messes with our sleep, our clarity, even our mood. And that's why I've been using Felix Gray glasses. What I appreciate most about Felix Gray is that they're just not another wellness product. They're rooted in real science. Developed alongside leading researchers

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Just head to FelixGray.com and use the code FINDINGMASTERY20 at checkout. Again, that's felix gray you spell it f-e-l-i-x-g-r-a-y.com and use the code finding mastery 20 at felixgray.com for 20 off can i share my response listening to yeah yeah um it's a mixture of like, for me, my experience is like this, there's this empathetic sadness that I have. And I don't get, I don't give you, I don't have pity for you. But I feel something. And that feeling is like a sadness. And I think it's me entertaining the death of my body. And because that's what you're, I'm trying to imagine, right? But there's a sadness that comes here. And then right on the heels of it, there's this intrigue, like, wow, how is he doing it? And oh my God, listen to these words where it's like, I've had to port all of my strength into my mind. And like, i'm deeply connected to the relationships that i hold and the value of those relationships and so oh okay all right um before we go into into that

um into that like i'm sure people have shared that with you but i just want to see what, what is that like for you to hear? Um, I mean, yeah, I, I don't, it's always quite a, I don't in a way of strange one for me, I guess, just cause for me, it's, because for me, kind of what I do is just my, and things I do are just my day to day life. They aren't special things. It's just me living my life like anyone else is doing it does that i just get to do some pretty cool stuff with it i guess all right before we get to the cool stuff that you are doing can you go back if i can ask you to go back to that moment and the moment where you are face down and you can kind of turn your head to

get some air and your mates were coming to get you. And you've talked about that being the scariest moment in your life. Yeah. So can we go back to that moment for a bit and help me understand how you managed that moment how you met the demand of that moment in that and you mean in the sea in in the water in the ocean right um well i mean in that moment i probably never sworn so much my life uh i was just i guess yelling into the water it's a pretty kind of surreal kind of I guess kind of movie experience where you know it's this beautiful clear water staring at nothing kind of you've got the light coming through the the sea kind of dappled there's sunshine on the

seabed but in my ears was just nothing it was just the sound sound of the sea but it felt louder than kind of anything I've ever heard in my life is it's kind of just mad experience where everything was suddenly like heightened to another extent and you know it's I don't it was just that moment yeah it's just there was a moment in my head where I thought, you know, this, this is it. This is, this is me done. So yeah, it was terrifying. Absolutely terrifying. but I'm right I can't move and was the next thing the disruptive of that narrative was your friends grabbing you or how long were you there for I mean I guess because obviously kind of going back and talking to my friends when I've had to kind of go back and talk about these things again we've you know they initially thought like I would have thought thought, it's one of our mates playing around with us, kind of joking, as you do. Boys are weird, that's what we do.

And they then came up to me after, I mean, I think it was probably like five seconds or so, but obviously in that moment it felt like a lifetime. And then I think I must have probably seen his shadow, one of the guy's shadows in the sea next to me or something. I just kind of mouthed half out of the water. Obviously, I asked him if I was okay, dragged him on the beach. And then, yeah, then on the beach was this moment where I knew,

I couldn't see around me. I didn't know what was happening, but I knew at that moment all eyes on that beach were on me, which is, I never really liked being sent to the tension but so that point my thing was like hide me away i don't want to see i don't want to be like people see me like this um and the next thought that came into my head was i was looking up at my mates literally a circle around me i'm right on the beach and then first thing i said to them i'd apologize for ruining their holiday because I knew obviously

I needed something bad to happen then I knew I didn't know how bad things would be long term but um you know yeah I felt pretty bad in that moment what a capture of your internal DNA to at that moment also be connected to others' experiences. So how do you deal with emotions? That's a really big question, I know, but I would love to learn. I'm much better now than I was, again, before pre-accident. I guess before the accident, we grew up, like I said, one of four boys, mum and dad, and with mum and dad at home. It's quite a testosterone-filled house, competitive house. We're very close to the family, but I guess we never really spoke about emotions, we never really dealt with those things so much

before um whereas now and everything I went through dealing with emotions and letting go letting those emotions out was a huge part of my recovery and and others alongside me it was a huge kind of feeling what we needed to feel I'd learned in those months in hospital that you know first few weeks in hospital in fact that this is a good thing this is a big part of the healing for me this is I need to feel this I need to cry when my brothers come and see me my friends come and see my family come and see me I need to feel that and you know now I'm I guess I'm pretty honest now my emotions how I feel it's there are times when I've given talks or spoken at events where I've got choked up because I'm talking about an emotional moment

that is happening at a big moment in my life. I'm not ashamed of those things. I'm not going to hide away from it because those are natural feelings. That's one thing I've learned is that these feelings, me being scared and fearful at the start me being emotional and crying those are just natural those are natural things you can't fight it it's got to kind of roll with it and was that a decision that you made or was it like so big and overwhelming that you're like oh forget it like let me just do what's natural here. I think at the very start, it was just going with it. It was just letting it happen.

Yeah, I wasn't really making a conscious decision to do it. It was those moments were extremely, highly emotionally charged moments. And for the moment, so I won't experience again, in my life. But looking back now, or probably kind of soon after, I was able to think, oh, right, okay, that was good for me to do that. I can actively see that those are good things to do and to feel. So at the moment, when it first happened,

it just happened. But I can now kind of carry that through in my day-to-day life these days. So what was the hardest loss? Was it the loss of your future plans, the loss of your dreams, the loss of the little things that I take for granted? What was the loss, the deeper loss for you um weirdly all those things you mentioned i had never actually thought about my accident because i like what i said earlier i really kind of mentally i probably wasn't attuned to anything really it's all my physicality and the physicality was the biggest thing for me it was huge

um one moment i always talk about when i kind of do what else happened to me is the kind of big moment the big kind of turning point after my accident when i kind of was able to switch my mentality into something kind of really positive and kind of more resilient than I had been was when it's the first day I was ever put into a wheelchair and at that point I left hospital bed for my hospital bed for two months um I'd only I'd been in dark rooms with windowless rooms for six weeks and barely seen the outside um i had three weeks in this room upstairs and i was then i was obviously outside and i saw it and you know i had this feeling of you know i'm close getting out i'm close going home i'm close getting back to my

normal life there's always this back of my head this kind of seed of you know things will be fine i'll walk out this hospital in they said 18 months time i was going to leave the hospital and in my head i was going i'm going to walk out it'll be fine and then i was put into the wheelchair for the first time and the initial kind of feeling was great and i was loving it i was able to see all the parts of the hospital that my friends and family spoke about when they'd come to see me i was finally able to kind of picture it properly and feel it and it was awesome it was so thrilling and we went outside it was late i guess or late summer kind of mid-september time it was warm went outside kind of did the hospital came back

through the main entrance and the main entrance to the hospital is these big glass doors and the physio pushed me at the time I was with my physio my mom and one of my mom's friends and we just stopped in front of this door at this moment where everything just kind of stopped just paused and it's first time in two months I'd seen my reflection and pre-accident I was this very fit 17 year old boy loved going to the gym and now I was staring at myself in this mirror in this reflection and I was I mean I'd lost about four and a half stone, I think it is. Whatever that is in pounds, kind of, I mean, nearly 60 pounds, I guess. I was just nothing in this reflection. I had this big headrest because I couldn't even support my own head at that time. My trachea was in my throat because I was still on a ventilator.

These big armrests would support my balance. My clothes just hanging off me. And that was a horrible, horrible moment. The moment I got back to my room, mum's friend left. I got my mum's full of curtains around my bed and I lost it. I broke completely. And it was the first time in two months that I'd kind of questioned why me. And it hadn't been in the top of my head until that point.

And, you know, mum was hugging me and I was crying into my mum's shoulder I just wanted to be able to hug my mum and I couldn't even hug my mum and I was just like this is this is horrible this is the worst day of my life and then that day you know my brothers my dad had this routine to come and see me so I always had someone kind of with me and you know my brother came saw me and I was crying dad came see me and I cried dad was always last to leave in the evening and he went to about 11 and I was lying in bed at that point just falling from crying my eyes out for about two three hours this was a pretty heavy sleeping tablet at that point and they couldn't even send me off but that moment that night and I just lied in bed and the early hours I was just staring at the ceiling and

I just thought to myself that you know I've got got no one to blame for what's happened I've got no reason to be angry for what's happened I'll happened. I may as well just get on with it. Those were genuine thoughts I had to myself that night because this thing's, again, back to the emotion side of things. In that moment, that day, I guess, I'd released everything I'd been holding in until that point without physically realising or mentally realising it. I needed that release to kind of let it all

out so i could move on and that was a massive turning point for me in kind of how i was going to face challenges in the hospital how i wanted to do things how i wanted to you know progress and start you know just start working out ways that were going to be best for me and my family and everyone else moving forward. So let me put this in an oversimplified framework here, is that you got a dose of reality, which was your reflection. You confronted that with great sadness, a bit of why me, so some pity. More sadness, more sadness, more sadness, probably some anger. And then you let go. So it was just so big that you let go. You put the big heavy buckets of

emotion that you've been carrying around, you put them down and everything spilled out. And then from that empty place, there was clarity. And that clarity led to a decision. And that decision was what? Well, for me, it was to start, you know, really thinking about how I'm going to start, I guess, progressing, how I'm going to start. You know, at that point, I thought, you know, I want to go out, I want to go home, I want to do these things so then I was thinking about okay what do I need if I want to go home I need to go down to the rehab ward before I can get out of this hospital before I can go to the rehab ward I need to get rid of my ventilator so I started thinking okay what I need to get rid of the

ventilator and then I kind of then reduced it down to these. Basically, I reduced everything from that moment, from that end goal down to a five-minute moment, five-minute goal on my first day of this new me, this new mindset that I was going to carry forward through everything, I guess, through the rest of my life. What is the mindset? How do you describe it? For me, the mindset I have now in everything I do is the little big things. I relate that to everything I do, whether it's

progress. It's the title of your book. Yeah. Little big things. The little big things. Yeah, because it works so perfectly in how I see life, how I enjoy life, how I take on challenges and goals and things. And so when I was reduced everything down to the goals in hospital to get rid of my ventilator, I had to spend five minutes off the ventilator, but with an oxygen tank attached to the tracheotomy in my throat.

And that was me breathing semi-independently at that point and then so that's five minutes in the whole day the next day was 10 15 and then we got up to about 20 minutes and half an hour 45 minute an hour and so on and you know these are tiny fractions of a day but for me breaking it down in so small moments my my mindset I wasn't then thinking about getting out of hospital at that point I wasn't thinking about getting to the rehab ward I was just thinking about my next goal the next day or my goal in that day when I woke up in the morning what I was really excited about I was too excited about taking on that challenge and seeing what I could do and every time I hit the goal each day and and I knew they're manageable, I knew I'd hit them.

But I made sure I recognized those moments and really enjoyed them and made sure we kind of celebrated them. How did you celebrate them? I mean, whenever I had friends or family come in, I would always tell them, like, I did this today. This is cool. Like, this is fun.

I kind of gave them all the details of the stuff I was able to do. I was scrubbing five minutes in a day breathing an oxygen tank but i kind of dragged an explanation out longer than i dragged out your milk you're milking the celebration as much as you possibly could there's actually good science there yeah yeah yeah um so for me it was enjoying those moments and it was fun and so then it made, when I then achieved the thing the next day, they made that moment even bigger and so on and so forth after each day. So it wasn't a joy just having the one goal hit at the end of coming off the ventilator.

It was all the little bits along the way, which made once I was finally off the ventilator, so much better, so much happier. I was in this great mindset where my focus was on the things that I really needed to do. I wasn't being distracted by other things in my life. I was focusing on those moments and those times. And, you know, it really was a massive help for me thinking that way in that moment. Finding Mastery is brought to you by Cozy Earth. Over the years, I've learned that recovery doesn't just happen when we sleep. It starts with how we transition and wind down. And that's why I've built intentional routines into the way that I close my day. And Cozy Earth has become a new part of that.

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and a hair serum. With Caldera Lab, it's not about adding more. It's about choosing better. And when your day demands clarity and energy and presence, the way you prepare for it matters. If you're looking for high-quality personal care products that elevate your routine without complicating it, I'd love for you to check them out. Head to calderalab.com slash findingmastery and use the code findingmastery at checkout for 20% off your first order. That's calderalab, C-A-L-D-E-R-L-A-B.com slash findingmastery. What is your story that you had a moment that altered your life?

And I want to, remind me to come back to, are there such things as defining moments? Remind me to come back to that. But what is your story? When you want people to understand you, what is that storyline that you want to share with them? I mean, I don't really go into my talks. I kind of give a few points I want people to understand or take away. I'm not wanting them to take one specific thing. I mean, I guess the overall thing is the little big things again.

But I guess gratitude is a huge one um before Max and again I can look back and think about all the things I took for granted the moments I've granted the friends family the opportunities I had that I kind of should have made more of 100% where now I've, again, I've reduced my gratitude down to such small things and, you know, it's one of the questions I get asked most regularly is, like, surely people go up to me and say, surely you must have down days, you must have sad days. And I can kind of hand on,

well not hand on, mentally hand on heart, say like no I don't, my accident doesn't cause me sad days, it does generally doesn't cause me to be down and that's not me kind of being in denial, it's me accepting what's happened, it's me knowing like the situation I'm in and I'm not wanting to change the situation I'm in at all I wake up each and every day great like really incredibly grateful that you know that I've got incredible family incredible friends I get to wake up each day I get to eat nice food I get to go do kind of jobs I like jobs I enjoy and I think when I think about my life in the way I feel incredibly lucky feel incredibly privileged to say I'm able to do those things and and that all starts with kind of gratitude and it kind of really does start

me off and it's something early on that I'd kind of say to myself each morning um and it just starts me off in a better way so that you know I'm kind of going to the start of the day happy so that you know something does a frustration does happen it kind of doesn't hit me as hard because I'm ready at a certain level I'm not thinking about the frustrations I'm not thinking about what the bad things that might happen today I'm thinking about the good things that might happen kind of the good things that i can do all right so acceptance as being one of the core deep cornerstones of your health your your wellness

you know your internal wellness is okay i accept this is the condition that i have and i think for me you know like it's a big part of my work is to figure out that balance between acceptance of what is and this intense work to create better. Yeah. So there's a thing that I get. I understand the value of acceptance, like real acceptance, but I'm always trying to like, always is a big word, but I am, um, I lean into improvement. So I'd like, can you speak to that? Because I want to, I want to hit here for a moment because I hear gratitude and I hear that you practice gratitude every day, almost before you start

your day. It sounds like you're doing some sort of gratitude work. And then that fills your bucket so that when something unfortunate or something happens that didn't go according to plan, your reservoir is full, if you will. Does that sound fair? And I want to know what that practice materially is, and I'll share mine with you. But let's go to this acceptance meets improvement friction. So can you teach on that? Yeah, I mean, the gratitude thing definitely came after acceptance. And acceptance, I mean, I kind of look back now and through certain points where I've actually kind of tried to go through the acceptance stages I've always put it down to different stages

through acceptance um and for me obviously the first thing is just the realization the realization of being in you know the situation I was in I wasn't I had to I couldn't kind of deny what was happening I couldn't shy away from it what happened had happened I had to accept that I couldn't live through that denial but that wasn't fully accepted at that point because there were so many kind of things still to come so many other steps and I just took it step by step and you know I guess it took me probably a full 13 months the moment I went back to finish my A-levels at school that I think I really was fully kind of 100% there with it. Is it fair to say accepting what I cannot change? Yeah. Accepting that I cannot change.

There was an accident. Accepting today I don't have access to arms and legs like I once did. You know, accepting that it's on me to determine the quality of my life with others. Acceptance that gratitude is something that I'm going to get better at. You know, so it's the acceptance of the things I cannot control and the improvement is to know what I can influence and work to the maximums on those. Yeah, 100%.

I mean, I've had to accept I've got to relinquish a lot of my life and put it in the hands of other people to move me, to dress me, to brush my teeth, to teeth feed me to give me drinks for all those things and kind of that accepting that kind of loss of independence has actually made me far more kind of independent than i've ever been in my life it's kind of independent dependence that i have now and the fact that i accept that I can't do those things I can't do those physical activities myself so I'm not going to worry about those I'm not going to think about those I'm going to still think about you know the old adage of control the controllables thing you know I can

still control who I am I can still control my thoughts my opinions I'm not relying on people to speak for me to kind of be tenacious for me to do those things for me that's still me and allowing kind of myself to think that way has really really helped me kind of focus in on more narrowly on my life and things I can control and ultimately then what I can I can do with my life and then I can always look at the things I can do moving forward. It really changes the mindset into a far more positive way. It's not lost on me that you became a writer and an artist. Thank you.

I think that those artistic expression, in whatever be, it could be a physical form and it certainly can be on any other canvas or medium that we choose. But I believe there's, I don't have facts to prove this, but this is, this is my life approach that that is the highest form of living is to artistically express oneself in an authentic way that is true and pure. And there's a command that precedes it to be able to do that consistently. And so it's not lost on me that you arrived at that place because you were probably going to be a beer slugging rugby player, you know, a bloke, if you will. And like, and kind of stop there, you know, like, and maybe turned into a good, good old corporate job, something, you know, like I could see that path for you.

Oh, I mean, yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah. I can't deny that at all. I don't know how you do it, dude. How do you paint? You're painting with your mouth. Yeah.

So again, I mean, the whole... So at the start, when I said, you know, all the good things that happened to me, all the things I... I'm much happier now than I was before the accident as a person. And, you know, and the positive things I was before the accident as a person and you know and the positive things that come since the accident been incredible and the art is one of them the art's a huge

become a huge part of my life because when I grew up I really loved art I loved just kind of drawing stuff I was drawing all the time just building stuff making stuff lego duplo all those things all those blocks to play with and I just yeah I mean I loved it my older two brothers be out playing outside and I was to be inside by, all those things, all those blocks to play with. And I just, yeah, I mean, I loved it. My older two brothers would be out playing outside and I'd be inside by myself doing those things. And then as I grew up, studying art takes up a lot of time. You have to really commit to it. But at the time, through GCSEs, which is our 15, 16-year-old time here,

my rugby started to go really well. I was doing some representative stuff and things, and that also a lot of time so these two I couldn't do both and I couldn't kind of mentally cope with both so I was focusing more on the rugby and the art just became this really annoying horribly nagging thing just in my life and I lost all joy lost all love for it at that point and I hated it and I had went off into school had I not the accident I would have fully dropped it never kind of gone back to my life again but back in 2015 I had a sore on my back a little pressure sore which meant I had to stay in bed for a few weeks until it healed. And the first week I was just lying on my sides, airing my back, taking pressure off.

Then when I was able to sit up in bed, kind of put some cushions on my lap with an iPad on top. And I used the iPad, I have a stylus taped to the end, I touched the screen, holding the mouse stick in my mouth, stylus in the end, touch screen, I was drawing. And it was really like incredibly basic the first things I did but I loved it every single second I was doing it I loved it and then when I was able to get out of bed I started using pencils and then a few months after that I started actually

painting properly and the joy that that's taken me back to the same joy I had when I was that five six seven eight year old. It's been amazing. And in fact, I enjoy it more now than I have done in my life. And without my accident, without everything I've been through, without that precious soul, I wouldn't have had that. I wouldn't have found this happiness. I wouldn't have had the same joy I'm having right now because of my art, because of my accident. So what is it like when somebody is brushing your teeth? I don't really think about it. It's just happening. I guess accepting that early on is just you know it's just we all brush our teeth differently anyways

why i have something in it for me is why should i that's why should that be any different we all we all live our lives in different ways we all have different morning routines um mine things just i guess will be longer and more specific than others henry how do you eat uh yeah someone feed me um i only eat two meals a day because so i can't burn off uh the calories is obviously fully able-bodied person so i've had to again that's nothing i've had to learn over time i've got to had to really reduce what i eat but again reducing that has actually made me actually made me enjoy food much much more it's made me enjoy those moments when i'm eating much much more kind of those are kind of fun and joyful parts of my day that's not to say like the rest of

my day is dull or anything i just make sure i enjoy it i mean i talk about so monday's friday i have to be really strict i'm really strict with what i eat um and then on a friday morning before i have my trainer come in we do two hour two hour session pretty brutal stuff and what do you do what what kind of physical training are you doing? So kind of my traps, just play those muscles are still stronger, neck strong. I can balance really well using those muscles. So if my legs are cross for me and I'm sat up in bed, I can actually kind of balance independently by myself. And there's always other bits you do. And again, those things take eight and a half years to get to that point. And there were, again, tiny, tiny progress along the way, but it was fun. I mean, because, you know,

if I was saying about physicality stuff, I always enjoyed being in the gym, always loved being in the gym. So that stuff for me is still that kind of old bit of me that is still there still hanging around i haven't looked at that that fella yet um but again i really enjoy that but the morning morning when i train i have a bagel that morning you know i just kind of changed what i put in it but that bagel for me is a huge breakfast for me that's but you know i look forward to that moment and when i'm having that bagel i'm loving it and i'm really enjoying it and yet to most people they might seem kind of weird or old but you know why can't those little joys in our lives be things we recognize and we really embrace and then when we have bigger joys they're even bigger and better than anything we've ever

experienced you are the epitome of resilience you are the epitome of resilience. You are the epitome of gratitude. You are the epitome. And I say that with the most sense of awe. You know, like those words get thrown around a lot, Henry. They get, you know, oh, we need some resilience training. People say that to me all the time. Can you help us with resilience training? And I say, yeah, you're ready to go through something really

fricking hard. And they go, no, I'm working 80 hours a week and like I'm exhausted. Well, if you want resilience training, you got to face down something that, um, puts you right at the edge of your capacity. And obviously that's where you have been often. And then so let's double click in something super concrete, which is how do you practice gratitude? Is it like a 16 hour day gratitude

thing that's running in the background or is it a discrete and or maybe a discrete X number of minutes in the morning? Like I don't want to presume anything yeah i mean nowadays i'm not i don't i don't actively do it so much now just i think i'm kind of so comfortable in the position i'm in at the moment it is a trait that you have created an enduring trait that you have of gratitude yeah and i think it's just kind of just yeah just sits in my head now that i'm not having to actively kind of engage with.

It's, it's there. It's just part of me now. But early on, well, I guess, I guess it probably would have been more when I'd left hostel and I came home. And then I was out again, you know, in non-hostel life, I was out in the kind of semi-real world from that point on. So I wasn't out and about. I was at home at the time. But in the mornings, you know, I'd be in my own head.

I'd just be telling myself or thinking about the things I'm grateful for. And most days it would just be the same thing over and over again. But it didn't matter. Those are just those are just what's happening. Those are just, you know, they've those they've done things well for me. So I was gonna stick with them. David Wright- And so is it do you link the thought to a feeling? Or is it more of a thought only for you? I don't know. I guess nobody's thought about it that way.

It's just a thought, but the thought makes me happy. Oh, well, yeah. So it's, it is, you feel it. It's not like, it's not like a, it's not a checklist. No, no, it would make me feel good. It's not like a checklist. No. It would make me feel good. I think that's where some folks get this stuff wrong. They're like, yeah, gratitude. I have my bed and my roof and my hands and my heart and my wife. It's like this checklist.

It's like, whoa, you know. And I said, I don't have my wife, but I'm fortunate to be married to a beautiful wife. And so it's more of a checklist is the mistake. And you're like, no, I think about it in such a way that I feel it as well. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. All right. And then when you go speak, what do you mostly speak about? Like corporations or folks bring you in? What do you speak about? the accident to me leaving the hospital i there's a brief bit at the end obviously i'll talk about what i'm doing now and linking to the books and the art and things but it's in talking about those moments in hospital and the kind of i just being honest with people about how i was feeling about you know what was really happening at a time i don't try and whenever I share my story I don't try and sugarcoat anything I don't want to kind of shy away from what's happened I want to be as honest with people as I possibly can to you know say to them you know I was in a really really bad situation but you know I managed to get

through it in my way and in the talk I'm kind of giving out the messages of gratitude and acceptance and the little big things and just writing to moments along my timeline basically and you know the honesty is a big thing for me when it comes to talks and writing and things it's a big part of you know I think it's a big part of who i am now and probably someone i wasn't i wasn't before the accident are there two main takeaways that you hope people grab is it honesty is it acceptance are those the big ones like hey listen um practice this stuff because this is what's made a difference and i never would have imagined that I'd be practicing in this way, but this has been what has saved me. And I wish I was better at it earlier.

Yeah. I mean, acceptance is probably the one I'd wish people, that I'd want people to take most, most people to stay with them. But after the talks, it's always, it always seems to be a gratitude thing that people email me about, or have read my books about and will read my read my book and then message me somehow email or you know and twitter whatever on social media and will say about the gratitude and suddenly they are picturing their own lives in a very different from very very different points of view um

and for me it's it's kind of whenever i read those messages or see them it's hugely overwhelming um because again for me it's just what i'm doing and knowing that people have taken something and it's kind of helping them in their lives is yeah i mean not gonna lie it's kind of a good feeling and i feel extremely privileged that i'm able to be in that position to do that how do you um practice acceptance it sounds like you made a decision you had a forcing function that made a decision but how do you suggest people practice yeah i mean for me obviously like everyone else I get you know the same frustrations in our day-to-day lives but for me I kind of always ask

myself the question why but what why am I if something's annoyed me or something's happened I in my head I just go what am I feeling this way um and you know always making sure I come out with two answers at the end of it and two options and if it's one if one option is something I can't change in my head I'd say I have to say to myself like I have to actively tell myself this has happened I can't I can't change it I've I've got to move on from it or do something different or change or just do something different. I have to actively tell myself those things. And if I ask myself why and I get an answer I can change something,

then I actively go out and change it, whether it's talking to someone or my carers or my family, I tell them something that has you know, has annoyed me or I need change that needs changing or something. And I tell them, I don't let it sit on me or dwell on me. Oh, what a cool framework. It sounds so simple. Control what you can. It's over said overused, but you're like, okay, I ask, what is the primer question I ask myself? How did you get into that? Why? Yeah. I don't know i guess i mean i guess kind of in a way it

goes back to that day when i was in the wheelchair the first time and i there was the first day i had questioned why me i'd thrown that question out and i guess looking back and seeing that and recognizing that as actually you know maybe asking myself that question was a good thing to happen um and bringing that forward through you know years after when I've used it a lot it's just it's just seemed to work for me and it really really does make a difference and help me move on from situations that in the past I definitely would have dwelled on and let sit on me and bring me down and make me unhappy how old are you 28 and so it's been 11 years obviously um how do you answer this question i am I am.

Good question. I don't know. And when you say I don't know, what is that like for you? I don't know. It makes me want to find out what the answer is how to work it out how would i define myself or define what i don't know what i've been through i don't know and then what do you do with yourself when you're saying i don't know what is is there another subtext to it which is like wow i should know why don't i know oh this is is there another subtext to it? Which is like, wow, I should know. Why don't I know? Oh, this is embarrassing? Or is it like, oh, this is amazing. That question's cool. I want to explore it.

Yeah, I guess that because I mean, there's times where I've got something out and given talks and where people have asked me a question, I'm not sure what the answer. And I, you know, it makes me think, I i guess in a way i haven't thought about before sometimes it makes me think about yeah maybe later on i'll explore that question if i don't know the answer at the time then i'll later on i'll think about it okay i'll sit by myself and get my own head and talk to my talk to myself about it i guess and when think about it and but I enjoy those things I like for me kind of these internal conversations I have with myself about things

seem to work for me um I mean it sounds a bit kind of odd and weird but I think just because I guess have this clarity on kind of who I am in terms of what annoys me what frustrates me and how I how I personally myself deal with things I'm able to kind of be in my head a lot and work things out and go through thoughts and and things and I need to speak to people about certain things and I'll speak to people and share my thoughts and yeah I you answer this? It all comes down to? It all comes down to acceptance. Mastery is?

Knowing yourself. Success is... Knowing what makes you happy. Failure is... A lesson. Relationships are... Important. relationships are important. What I understand the most

is me. That's interesting. Because three minutes ago, you're like, I don't know who I am. I don't know how to answer I am. And then you're like, I understand me the most. Yeah, but now then we're talking about it afterwards and thinking. So that's what I do.

I get in my head. I've been thinking about it. I'm having a very quick conversation in my head over here. Yeah, what is that conversation? I want to know that conversation because that's the one that's driving you. Like, I'm getting all, I feel like i get the gold dust from you and the gold is that little small conversation like how you wrestle with that one yeah i don't know i guess i'm gonna then ask myself okay i am like what am i

like what i guess kind of thinking about things i've done or things i've been through thinking about which things are then the most important things to me, which things do I enjoy most, whether it's the art or the speaking or, you know, doing things like this that, you know, really very much before my accident were wildly out of my comfort zone. Yeah, I don't know. It's taken me down this kind of different path of exploration of me, I guess. If you could be the first person to go to Mars and you had a 50% chance of coming back alive,

50% chance of not making it, would you go? No. How come? Because would I find the same small joys over there that I have here in my own day-to-day life? Would the novelty and joy of being the first person on Mars

be big enough to outweigh the little things, I guess? That's cool, man. I've loved this conversation. It feels to me like your head and your heart are connected, but you lead with your head. Is that close to being right? Yeah, definitely. And I think, again, in my head,

I've always been a very practical person. And I think, like I said, teaming that with then feelings and other things I've learned since my accident has has seemed to, I guess, kind of married together quite well at the moment. Um, so it's working for me. Um, so yeah, I think, yeah, definitely. Yeah. I'll take that. Okay. And then a couple more questions here. Um, if I could give one gift to humanity, it would be? Teaching people how to be happy for the little things. 100%.

That's so cool. And then let's do kind of the kind kind of funny fun almost borderline silly ones is that uh what's the what's the name of your boat if you're you know you're gonna buy a yacht or kind of fancy speedboat or whatever what's the name you put on it wow yeah i mean where do we start? Oh, man. A wheelie good time. What does that mean?

Oh, instead of a really good time, wheel. Wheel. Yeah. Dude, I do not get your joke there. A good time yeah as in wheelie instead of really good time but what is a wheelie good time oh because i'm in a wheelchair oh my god it took me a minute it took me a minute oh god that is classic okay good um yeah and then all right who I just got asked this the other day and it was kind of fun, but I liked it. If you were to have three people over dinner, who are they?

Oh, yeah, okay. I mean, that's one we... I mean, I've had that conversation a few times, actually. And to be honest, it changes every single time. I know, me too, yeah. It's... I mean... I mean, it's tough.

I mean, one, I'd love to go Tim Peake, the British national, first British national in the Space Centre, International Space Centre. I've always loved space when I was young. It's why I had to think about Miles' question quite a lot. Always loved space, but I just love to know kind of everything he went through, his training, his mindset, and to be in that position up there.

It'd be fascinating, it'd be a really, really fascinating insight. I don't know, I guess I'd have to have some kind of sportsman, but I don't know who. So I'd have to have some kind of sportsman, but I don't know who. So I answered it.

I went deep. I said like, someone on the spiritual side, I went like, okay, is it Jesus? Is it Buddha? Is it Lao Tzu? Is it Confucius?

I saw something on the deep side and I said, it's got to be Jesus. I mean, like, damn, like, you know,

he's onto some stuff now. Now, that being said, I don't want to be construed that I have, I have a hard time, damn, like, you know, he's onto some stuff now. Now, that being said, I don't want to be construed that I have a hard time, if not a – my family was so switched on to the Catholic faith. And like we were all in for so many years, deeply embedded in the church, and then come to learn the cover up. And I'm just having a really hard time with the formal institution in Christianity right now, certainly Catholicism-like. But anyways, like the Trinity and what he represented, like, okay, let's go to dinner. And then I did Bob Marley or Jimi Hendrix.

So I went with one of them. And then I thought, okay, who? And then I went Leonardo da Vinci. Oh, yes. Oh, yeah. Yeah, right? Yes. Yeah. So those are the ones that that were kind of

banging around for me but okay so um where can we go see your art where can we go um buy your art where can we go support your book like yeah and then and then give me all the twitter handles and social media stuff that you you've got rolling um so my art website is henryfraserarts.com f-r-a-s-e-r yes and my uh instagram and twitter handles are both henryfraser0 zero yeah so i'll get in before number one zed z-e-r-o oh no sorry just the number zero just the number zero henry fraser zero because it it is before the number one okay good and that's all the social media handles yeah yes that's yeah yeah okay cool and then website the website is henryfraserarts.com that's the that's okay so it's the all-in-one website

yeah oh yeah oh yes everything's i love it and so um i want to talk to you about like maybe a commission piece um i want to talk to you about something there but the stuff that's you know the stuff that's on your site is awesome and i love art and i love the purity of where you come from and so i'm incredibly inspired. Can you do this? Right now there's thousands of people listening. And it's really, it's not lost on me that it's an intimate mode. Like most people are listening with headsets on and literally they have invited us into their space, you know, through a headset.

It's super intimate. And that's why I love podcasts. I love listening to them. It's really intimate. And I feel honored to be in that place with others. So when you're listening to this right now, I just want to say thank you for inviting both of us into your consciousness, into your heart. And I know that we are filled with questions. And I'm left with this question. Man, have I not question, but this awareness moment, I've been sloppy with my life and I find myself to be probably more intentional than 95% of the world. Like, and I've still like, thank you, Henry. Like, okay, can you do this though? This was a long preamble to get to this. Can you speak right into the hundred thousand folks plus that are listening? Can you speak right into them of what you would hope for them? So for me, the words that I'd like to give to everyone and say to people,

and it's the final paragraph. It's how I end my book, actually. I end my book by saying, life is much simpler and much happier when you always look what you can do not what you can't do and for me I guess that's what everything I speak about everything I do reduces down to those few lines and the very final line of the book is just every day is a good day and I genuinely believe that in our lives in what we do we can make every day a good day. And I genuinely believe that in our lives, in what we do, we can make every day a good day by just doing certain things that, you know, we find our own ways, and I found mine, but I genuinely believe we can make every day a good day. And I hope that all of you are able to find that.

And, you know, it doesn't happen straight away. It's not an overnight thing. It takes time. It takes patience with yourself, patience with others, but it's worth it. Come the end of it, it's worth it. And it might be tough at this time. It will be tough, but stick with it. And, you know, every day is a good day. Thank you, brother. And, you know, I just realized that we didn't answer this one last question which is is there such thing as a defining moment and i don't want to change your thought on it but i'm debating in my own mind right now to give you my take on it would you like to um would you like to just kind of flow with it or would you like to hear my orientation on it

um well i'd like to yours that'd be great is that so you hear it on sport all the time espn fox whatever channels you're listening to sports on you know it's like um defining game defining play defining moment in this you know in this person's professional career or life or whatever. And I go, oh God, that is hype. It's overrated. And I go to, wait a minute, there's no such thing as a defining moment because all we actually materially have is this moment. So this moment right now that Henry and I are in, that you and I are in, is the most important moment in my life because it's the only one that I get to experience. And so this moment, while there's not a dire consequence that could take place if I miss this moment, but this is the only one I get. So I want to practice being in the most fragile of moments, which is this moment and this moment and this moment again, and to really string those together. And I say that with all the sensitivity that I have not had a moment where haven't had the chance to ask somebody who's had what most people would say are you kidding me?

dude that's a defining moment I mean yeah I couldn't agree more with what you said I mean I've always to kind of put that phrase on it I say that moment I went in the water and in my head was my defining moment but I guess that's if that would be if I had to I had to really say it but like you said is each moment is so important living in each each moment of each day like is so important enjoying those things and really making the most of each moment we have

really being present in that moment is is amazing and when you're able to do that when people are able to do that it is kind of life-changing and suddenly you're having defining moment after defining moment after defining moment look at that all right henry i appreciate you. Thank you for your time, your wisdom, your insights, your practices, and sharing from a truthful place and the art that you are creating.

So I want to encourage folks for a couple of things. One is to go to henryfraserart.com and that's F-R-A-S-E-R and follow him on social. Get connected to what he's doing. Go deep within yourself to get true about what authentic acceptance means. Practice gratitude. And use this conversation to grow.

To be more connected to our loved ones. And if you enjoy this, pay it forward. pass it on to somebody share this episode um support henry in all the places that he's shared with us social and otherwise but i would imagine the book and your art are the two kind of main drivers yes yeah yeah cool henry i appreciate you brother uh cheers thanks for having me on this yeah it's been a pleasure to talk to you mike cheers thank you all right thank you so much for diving into another episode of finding mastery with us our team loves creating this podcast and sharing these conversations with you we really appreciate you being part of this community and if you're enjoying the show the easiest no-cost way to support is to hit the subscribe or follow button wherever you're

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