Finding Mastery with Dr. Michael Gervais - Michael Gervais on His Initial Thoughts from Rio

Episode Date: August 27, 2016

Michael Gervais gives his initial thoughts from the last three weeks spent at the Olympics in Rio De Janeiro._________________Subscribe to our Youtube Channel for more powerful conversations at the intersection of high performance, leadership, and meaning: https://www.youtube.com/c/FindingMasteryGet exclusive discounts and support our amazing sponsors! Go to: https://findingmastery.com/sponsors/Subscribe to the Finding Mastery newsletter for weekly high performance insights: https://www.findingmastery.com/newsletter Download Dr. Mike's Morning Mindset Routine! https://www.findingmastery.com/morningmindsetFollow us on Instagram, LinkedIn, and X.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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stay present and engaged with my thinking and writing. If you wanna slow down, if you wanna work smarter, I highly encourage you to check them out. Visit remarkable.com to learn more and grab your paper pro today. All right. Welcome back or welcome to the Finding Mastery podcast. And I'm sure you've noticed my voice is a little bit different today. So I've been struggling with a, I don't know, some sort of a head cold or something for the last four or five days, but I just, I didn't want to wait. I wanted to try to capture the three-week experience I was just on down in Rio. And so, um, I just want to spend a few minutes and talk out loud. So this is going to be different than the other podcasts and

conversations that we do with world leading thinkers and doers. And I just wanted to take a minute and a few minutes maybe, and just think out loud as a, as a way to help generate clarity, both for me and share those experiences with you. And in particular, just using the 2016 Olympic Games in Rio as a way to capture some thinking. So what I want to do is just bounce off a few experiences and then see if we can organize those thoughts in an applied way. And my intent is just to use this as a marker of my initial thoughts and more like a work in progress, if you will. So bear with me. I think that we're going to wind and weave a little bit. This is just off the top of my head. And I hope that there'll be some clarity as we go. And maybe in a couple of months or a couple of weeks, maybe I'll take another pass in a more formal way as more clarity is experienced.

So as an extroverted thinker, which I am, some of you are, some of you are not, I just want to reserve the right to change my mind a few times. Even during this conversation, I might jump back and forth. And I know sometimes that drives introverts like my wife crazy. And just on that note, introversion and extroversion is an important marker for world games. And it's also important marker for, um, for relationships. So extroverts gather energy from, um, people and beings. They are stimulated by people and extroverts think when they're speaking. And so introverts do something very different. They gather energy from being alone. And how you know an introvert's thinking is

they're paying attention and maybe later they reflect and they write. So as an extroverted thinker, I hope it doesn't drive too many of you nuts, but I've found that stream of consciousness can just be a great way to initially sift through thoughts and some that ring instantly true when they present aloud and I'll notice them and maybe you'll notice them. And some that trigger a cringe, even as I say them based on the words that were chosen to try to capture the truth. And so that's what I'm trying to do is just capture the truth. Sometimes they'll cringe as I string some words together and I know that I'm off mark. If that happens in this conversation, I'll say it out loud. And yeah, so let's just kind of use truth for a minute. I was going to say the truth about the games, but let's just start with the truth. It's a really freaking hard thing to get to.

It's like it's always in plain sight and it's always just underneath the surface. And the meeting of both of those conditions, meeting in plain sight and just under the surface, through the filter of language, which is what we're doing here and in most relationships is where the translation seems to fall short so often. And, you know, I know that, you know, Cat Stevens, great line rings true with me often. I'll share it again is that I listened to my words and they fall far below. And so as it, that's, if we're trying to get to the truth, if we're going to talk about, I don't know, pizza or beer or wine or something like it's, it's simple to talk about the concrete, but it's very difficult to talk about, um, the intangibles, the experiences, the space between the things that you cannot see, but know to be true. And I don't know why I'm, you know, articulate on this path, but I think that I've just come off of three weeks being around world-leading elite performers and doers and thinkers where their bodies are in elite form and their minds are in elite form. And there's

something that happens in that experience that is noticeable. And so I want to try to explain it, but I'm falling far, my words are falling below that. So I have so much respect for the craft of expression. And I think that's what's happening down in the Olympics for sure, whatever it is. And it can be movement, it can be music, it can be lyrics. It can be writings of any sort. And it's where a person or a group of people are able to express in a way that is uniquely true to them. And I think that's the really important part. And when that happens and it's universally captivating, there's something really powerful about that, that unique expression that

is universally captivating. And it's amazing to watch world-class athletes literally become children watching other world-class athletes in other sports go for it. And that children thing I mean is like, they're captivated by it. They can't look away. They're giddy about how amazing it is because they recognize how challenging and difficult it is to be artistic and to express in a unique way that is masterful. And that ability to be sucked right in is also part of the mark of those that are world leading is that they know how to pull. No, no, that's not it. They know how to, I want to say be pulled. That's not it. They know how to let go to be emerged, emerged, immersed in the environment at hand. They know how to allow all of them, no, they know how to allow all of oneself to be completely engaged in the moment. And some play it cool or whatever, and they're just too cool for school for it. And they just rely on skills and, you know, being a tactician to be able to, you know, be on the world stage.

But others, like so many, have gone to that space where they just allow themselves and know that that deep embodiment and deep engagement is where the really rich transformation and expression takes place. But they don't only do it when they have a ball in their hand or they're in the water or whatever in their craft. They also recognize the importance of doing it in conversations. They recognize the importance of doing it while watching other people compete. And that's a really cool thing.

Being around communities of people or tribes of people that understand and value the importance of letting go to be fully in is an accelerant, a radical accelerant. And so the conversations with those people, and I hope, my deep hope is that all of us, anyone listening to this conversation, this monologue is finding relationships within their life on a daily basis where the people, where you and the people in your lives are finding deep, deep engaging conversations. That means you got to shut up sometimes and listen. I'm speaking to myself here. And there's times when we got to talk. And so that listening is so important and the deep embodiment of that listening to try to get to the essence of what is being said, what's underneath the language, what's underneath the words, like trying to understand the intent. And I'm telling you that that was noticeable with the team that I spent time with, the teams, not just one team, the teams that I spent time with down in the Olympics,

is that in the heightened environment of world-leading competition and the arena of that competition, there's a forcing function. No, it's not a forcing function. No, it is a forcing function. It's a forcing function that can either propel people to bond or that forcing function to propel people, if they can't handle the stress and the intensity, to spray each other with anger and frustration and fear. And that pulls teams apart. And so I was fortunate enough to be part of two teams that, um, used that, the intensity of the environment to bond and to become closer, more connected. And I hope, um, any of the teams that, um, that I was part of, if you're listening, it was recognized the eye contact, the intensity of conversation, the ease and joy of being open to explore, to use the environment to go deeper

and to go into a place that is more meaningful. It was noticed by me and I think by many. And so, yeah, that's just, I think, an important mark for intense environments to use that as an opportunity to explore. Okay. So let's see. You know, the Olympics, they're a fantastic environment for that very challenge. And as I'm thinking my way through this conversations, there's so many moments and insights that I really do want to share. And maybe I can just highlight a few for us now. And for me, the ones that are coming up,

which hopefully will trigger actions for you too, that maybe prompt you in some way to become more of you, but not for any other reason other than to become more of you, but not for any other reason other than to become more of you for your loved ones. And so I think that that's a really important notion is that how selfish of a pursuit is that you want to become the best version of you for you. And so it's really, it's just ringing so loud to me that the purpose of becoming you is, there's like the spiritual thought about it, but also like why? Why go through all that work? Because it's hard.

Why go through that work? Is it so that you can be there in a great way for loved ones, for tribal members, for teammates, for, you know, people that you are wanting to do challenging things with. And, you know, let me be a romantic here for a minute is that intimacy, whether that's in sport worlds or in loving relationships, other outside of it, romantic relations outside of it is that like, it's challenging, it's really challenging. And so if we can be grounded, be ourselves, be authentic in quiet moments, stressful moments, in environments that are rugged and environments that are smooth, then we're able to really attend to what others need and to work for them rather

than just work for ourselves. And so that's me kind of hoping to punch straight in the nose, the narcissist in the world that we all know that it's like, come on, please. And I don't mean narcissist personality disorder. Like I'm just talking about those egotists that are just suck the life out of, out of environments. So they're just such a drain, really such a drain to all involved. And it's a drain to them as well. Like many times they don't know better, but they just suck the life out of a room. All right. So while I was down at the games, I was with women's indoor volleyball team, as well as one of the volleyball beach teams, which also includes a handful of coaches and staff and other athletes as well. So as you all know, I'm never going to talk about one person.

I'm never going to talk about on the podcast that I've done intimate deep work with. And that's just, you know, I donleading athletes and performers and musicians that say, I don't care about that. I don't care about that rule that, you know, we're supposed to have privilege and confidentiality or whatever, whatever, whatever. Like, man, I want to talk about what we've done and figured out. So maybe, I don't know, maybe I just give them the mic. I don't know. I want to figure it out. I want to do it legally and ethically, of course, but anyways, that's, that's outside of this conversation. Okay. Okay. So, so instead of like talking about people, let's talk about themes and insights that might be of interest to the finding mastery community and tribe where, where we can use them

in our own life efforts and for others as well. So on that note, I kind of keep saying this out loud. I've learned so much from coaches and athletes, and I couldn't imagine how much I'd miss or how flimsy those experiences would be without having a base of science or scientifically tested theories that I'm bouncing them off and principles to help contextualize and structure, you know, the one-off amazing lessons or conversations that occur in world-leading amphitheaters of performance. So I want to say that not because that's unique, but that's like a hat tipping to those who have deeply studied the science of human performance. And that hap-tipping is

just a nod to the community of people that have a robust and sturdy understanding of the forefathers and the four leaders before that have tested and tried theories of psychology and behavior that have whittled out all the noise to get to some theories that really work and hold true. So I just want to contextualize that for a minute that as I'm talking about one-off experiences, I'm also anchoring them to hundreds of years of research and investigations about the psychology and the mind, both from a dysfunction standpoint and a brilliance standpoint standpoint. And on that note, this is my stream of consciousness. If you haven't watched a beautiful mind, the movie lately, God bless it. I saw it yesterday. This is so good.

That is so good. Good job, Ron Howard, being able to produce something that is touching and beautiful and skirts the line of brilliance and crazy. And so anyways, if you haven't pulled that up lately, I think you might be invigorated by watching it again. It's a tearjerker as well. Okay. So context to these thoughts that I'm sharing here are important. And the context is when I arrived at the games, I just wrapped up a year long plus project called Heaven Sent with Luke Akins. And if you hadn't had the chance to check out that project, I just want to nudge you to take a, it's worth exploring it. It's worth taking a look at it.

Luke jumped out of a plane at 25,000 feet without a parachute. Oxygen was required to breathe at that altitude. It was live on Fox. He landed on a 16-story series of nets to slow him down enough to safely reach the ground. It's never been done before. He designed the solution to be able to jump out of a plane without a parachute. And the stakes were extremely high. And maybe one of the more dangerous, no, there's like, I think four really, really dangerous projects that I've worked on. And when I say really dangerous, I mean, ridiculously dangerous. And obviously this is one of them. And it's because the outcome was binary. If he missed his target from 25,000 feet, he likely wouldn't survive the impact. So imagine, just for a moment, just imagine,

paint this picture. Imagine jumping out of a plane from 25,000 feet, which, I mean, just imagine that for a minute, the commitment that is required to do that. There's no turning back. There's no second guessing. And if there is either of those hesitations, that it's just really makes his job even that much more dangerous. So imagine looking at the ground, at the net that you designed, and it's about the size of a postage stamp from 25,000 feet, and you don't have a parachute, there's no safety net other than that postage stamp thing that you've created. And all you have is your head and your skill. All that you have is your craft and your mind. And imagine the command of both of those that are required for you to be able to trust yourself enough to hit your target. So you you know, I'm fascinated by all of what we,

I just talked about and, um, but I'm much more fascinated about how do we take that, that we can observe and witness from Luke and the command he had of craft and mind to explore deeper into the boundaries of what all of us can do in our lives. And there's so much more that we can do, but we have to test ourselves and we have to get past the defensiveness and the mechanisms that we do to protect ourselves from looking bad or emotional hostility. And that's a daily, daily, day in and day out practice to be able to do. And it's really hard. It's just fricking really hard. Oh my God. Okay. So there's so many insights that came from that project and I'll spend some more time decoding those with y'all later, but I just wanted to give the context of what was occurring 15 hours before I jumped on a plane to head down to Rio for the games with two teams that I've

absolutely been blessed to be able to work with. And so it was really heavy. Like it was just a heavy experience. So needless to say that when I connected with the athletes and coaches the next day, it was a great relief to all of us that Luke did his job and the team did their job. And he's lived to be able to tell that story. So that's just some context of day one for me on ground, boots on the ground at the games. So obviously the most massive sporting event in the world, the Olympic games, the number one or the number of world leading athletes and coaches is just flat out amazing. Both past legends running around and future legends running around. We're literally sharing intimate space every day and the energy and not,

not in a woo way, you know, not in that kind of mystic way, but the, the buzz, the neurochemical releases that were happening in that environment by just being around that level of intelligent command, it's just palatable. It's noticeable. And it's one of those things, though, that I kicked off this conversation with. It's just so difficult to articulate that when I try to, it loses some sort of punch. And so that's why you have to earn it. You have to experience it. And we all have the opportunity to earn the right to be around groups of people that are

exceptional. And it doesn't mean we're leading all the time. It could be moving from pickup basketball to some sort of organized environment, to some sort of regional environment, to some sort of national environment. And it doesn't mean you're in the NBA, but there's this progression that takes place for some things that you love, whether that be in your hobbies and, or if you're fortunate where your hobbies turn into business, that it could be in your business growth as well. Same with love life is that it, but that it's like a different image is that the

love life is about depth. And so going from surface conversations to more honest conversations about what's difficult, that progression also provides that same earning, if you will, of the energy that is just really electric. And so, I don't know. I think that it's like these experiences, they don't stick with us. And it's just like all experiences. They pass through us. Hopefully they pass through us. And that passing through us changes us. We experience experiences. We don't own them. And at some cellular level, I think that research will find pretty clearly is that, or has found, is that we do store information. It is actually in us, but it's the passing through us that's marked by the temperance

of time. And so once we're in it, in that next flash, it's new again. And then it's new again. And then it's new again. And then it's new again. And so it's being on time with the new that is incredibly important to be able to experience the fullness of that environment, whatever that environment is. And when there's lots of stress and there's lots of pressure, which we oftentimes create within ourselves, that it's hard to stay on time with new again. And the new again, let's talk about the word new. New is, well, by definition, it's not known what it is. So it's the new that creates so much anxiousness for us,

for people, because when it's new and it's unknown and it's unfolding, that that is a powerful recipe for anxiousness. And it's the fear of the new that pulls us further away from experiencing or tapping into our skills and our capacity to be fluid. And I think what I just said is a freaking mouthful, but it makes sense to me right now. So, and I think, I mean, we've talked about that before in conversations, but it's the new that's so exciting. And it's the new that is so fleeting and being able to capture that new is a fallacy. And I use the word capture in a way that like it passes through us and that we need, I think, at least I need many new moments to be able to finally make sense of what those moments mean, and then to be able to add it to context based on either past experiences and or research that has also gotten close to experiencing

whatever the principle is. So, all right. Here's a fun story. I asked an endurance athlete, top three in the world, what it was like for him during the middle of his race. And he just know, obviously, but, and he said, but it's about, he said for him, it's like giving birth for 10 hours straight, but doing it every couple of days in training, he says is what makes it different. Now he's not trying to minimize or compare really to birth giving, but it's the consistency of that pain that marks the endurance athlete. And so I think that, you know, there's lots of endurance folks that are part of the finding mastery community. And I wonder how you're, how you will make sense of that statement. So it hit us on social, if you got a thought about it, but he, he said the best

way to, he could explain it was through temperature testing. And so they did some temperature testing that he and his team did where his internal body temperature from exertion was the same as a four burner toaster on full heat. So I can't remember. He said the temperature, but I can't remember it. And it's like that toaster was nestled in his abdomen where his entire body was trying to get rid of that through sweating and breathing. And oh my God, like think about that, right? So his psychological approach to that pain, to that temperature, to that internal hostility is not to endure it, like the name of the event that he's in, right?

Endurance athlete. And not to distract himself and not to avoid it, but to harmonize with that discomfort, to be with it, to, to not let, not just like be a passenger in it, but he's not trying to escape the nature of what is true to him. And that the nature of what is true to him in that moment is that that pain is required and that heat is required to do the thing that his body is capable of doing, barely. Come on. I mean, how freaking unbelievable is it?

And so that loops back to the amazing conversations that are taking place around world leading performers. And it goes so far past the rhetoric of opining into this nice little thought on how to be with pain. And it goes into him doing it and testing it and then excelling within it. And it doesn't wait until he's doing his thing with pain to set up his mindset. So mindset, really we talk about mindset, but it's really about setting one's mind. It's done with introspection. It's done with mindset training well before the physical pain and the thresholds are experienced. And that's what he talks about. He says, I can't wait until I'm in the midst of the pain to be able to deal with the pain. So I need, I need to have introspection. I need to have thought processes and setting my mind based on

a set of mental skills to be able to be fluid in those experiences. So then I asked him how the Olympics has been for him. And he had just raced the day before and he just paused and he said, I wasn't able to reach the level of discomfort. I'm sorry. I wasn't able to reach the level of discomfort that I needed to reach, to reach my potential yesterday. And then he just waited for my response. He like looked at me and we both grinned. It was a really cool moment. This all happened in a cab and it was with a mutual friend and we're heading to dinner and you know, he'll be on the podcast for soon, soon, for sure. And there'll be much more insight from him to come. So that's the type of experiences

that, that happen by circumstance. Um, and it's again, points to the importance of a community. And I'm so fired up about the community that we're building, you know, the Finding Mastery community. And seriously, if we can't figure out some momentum to get together in person, well, let me say that differently, that I love the fact that we're so engaged in the community online through Facebook, the Facebook community. And so, uh, what is the website? It's finding mastery.net forward slash community that you can find that if you're new to this podcast, but like literally the idea that some of you have captured

and you've met in person, come on, let's do more of that. And I'm, uh, that's what I'm trying to do in my life. And as many of us as we can, like if you're in Virginia, pull up, find some folks and drive. Drive to go get to people. Find those little hubs. And if we can do it on a regular basis, I know that we're going to elevate this community to something that we can't even imagine. Seriously, that we don't even know what it's going to turn into yet. And that's that new again, hopefully, that something will take place. And if it doesn't, if it doesn't work, okay, we try it. But it's got to go far further than the rhetoric of talking heads. We've got to move this somehow. Maybe I'm speaking to myself. We've got to move this somehow into action because education is really cool, but taking information or taking knowledge and facts and applying them and moving it to actionable information, that translation is really important. So getting it out of the laboratory, and hopefully this podcast is part of your working laboratory, and moving it into the environment, into your relationships.

Otherwise, that's the keystone that we're looking for here. Okay. So, you know, let's go back to the games here. Both teams I was so honored to work with were capable of winning gold medals. And it's funny thing that knowing that being the best is real and still needing to consistently perform with and against a handful of others who are in the same cases equally or just about equally as skilled. And in some cases, they're not as equally as skilled. Just because everyone's at the Olympics doesn't mean that they are the number one best, but they are capable of striking in that range, any one of them. Now, sometimes being the underdog is an easier position to be in because you can access,

excuse me, you can access that hunger much easier. You can access the, you know, the approaching rather than the avoiding or protecting so much easier. And that approach mindset and that hunger is just so much more powerful for a lot of reasons, both neurologically, psychologically, from a physical state, approaching something is far greater than protecting. And so some teams are able to use that hunger to propel them into higher levels of performance that are completely new to them and completely new to their world, their community, and obviously the world in general. And that's why we love competing. Anything can happen once the whistle's blown. Anything can take place. Statistical modeling is great and it can help us get close to what might happen.

But those models run thousands and thousands of variations over thousands and thousands of competition scenarios in a computer to generate those predictions. Excuse me again. But it's the variance in all those predictions that's so exciting. You know, there's never 100% certainty. And unlike statistical modeling, running those thousands and thousands of scenarios, each Olympic match only happens once. And that only happening once, that forced function and literally the temporal nature of it is what is so electric. both teams that i was was work i was with you know performed to their

best capacity moment to moment for sure 100 um it doesn't mean perfect and it doesn't mean that they won gold because they didn't it doesn't mean that they weren't though in every play they were in it maybe i'm exaggerating with every but so many they were in and like their thoughts and their responses to, to the conditions were at their potential. And, but rather, you know, they, they leaned into working to get free enough to do so. And it's that leaning in part to get free. It is the work and some moments went their way and in other moments they were tight and in work. And some moments went their way. And in other moments, they were tight. And in other moments, it didn't go their way. And in other moments,

they were completely flat out free. And so it's that recipe of those couple conditions there that eventually lead to some kind of outcome. And of course, there were moments that they were so tight and it didn't go their way that those are the ones that tend to sting and haunt people. If we think that those are the moments that define us and that is walking straight into a trap. And if we think that a moment in time defines us, we've walked right into a trap because that could be a medal, like a gold medal moment or whatever, or it could be a disaster. But no moment can ever define us. It's a moment. And hopefully, sport is great for this because, I don't know, there's some probably statistical

number, 99% of the time, 99.8% of the time, we get to do it again. What I mean is we get to compete again. We don't lose our limbs. We don't lose our life in moments of rich competition. That's not the case for special operators. And that's not the case for soldiers. That's not the case for people that are fighting for a cause, literally where mistakes,, hesitation or opponents, meaning the other side of the war can take our lives. And again, why have so much respect for those that risk all? And that perspective, I think is just, you know, something really important to honor that sports and performance and the arts are not war. And so, I don't know. It's worth – I feel like I always want to say that. We don't go to battle.

We're not warriors. movers and doers to express our capacity within both mentally and physically to maybe shift the way we understand how we work and who we are so we can be there in a more rich way for others if we get it right. But maybe we inspire those that warriors that are defending freedom and ways of living. And I'm certainly not saying that America is the place for that is always right. But I am, I would suggest that freedom and defending freedom in uh, that is always right. But I am, I would suggest that freedom and defending freedom in principle is, is really important. And I think that most people think that the wars that they're fighting are for freedom, you know, and that's just the, the anyways, I'm going down a rabbit hole. Okay. Um, where do we go from here? I think it's that competitive, it's the arenas and the opportunity to be free that is so important to us.

And the amount of sting and the amount, yeah, the intensity of the sting is a reflection of our psychological framework. And that's why it's so important to keep evolving and growing and in advance to the test. So the weaker the framework, the larger the sting and the longer it lasts. So how long and how much? Well, that's up to you. That's up to me, for me, and you for you. And it's the mark of the consistent and the progressive. They don't waste their time. They don't waste anti-venom on the sting. They've front-loaded the psychological framework to be able to allow that to also pass through them.

No, wait a minute. What did I say? They've front-loaded their psychological framework to allow moments where they were tight and moments where they were free, both to be able to pass through them so that they could get to the next moment. So both teams I work with took home bronze medals and they earned their medals by competing fiercely and they were tested. Both teams were tested. And okay, everyone at the surface level wants gold for sure. And at the Olympic Games, gold for the two teams I worked with was not experienced. I'd imagine though, if we ran the

Olympic Games back, like we do in pickup games, or like the NBA playoffs, where you get a few runs at one particular team, I'd imagine that if we ran the Olympics back or a particular set of matches back like 10 times or something, that both teams that I was part of would win seven out of 10 times. So that's the tough part. But the truth is that that's not the case. Silver's epic. Bronze is epic. Having a personal record or a personal best and not meddling is epic. The love of competing on the world stage, it just fuels so much. And the knowing and the awareness of what really happened, what really happened inside, and we can all access

this in our own lives, whether it's Olympic games or the moment where we raise our hand to share a moment of inspiration or a business plan or to say something intimate to another person. That's part of the progression plan moving forward, the knowing and the awareness. So for what it's worth, I'm just stoked to, I'm flat out stoked on what both teams were able to do and figure out on the fly. They're both really well prepared and it's that figuring out that's great. And sometimes the pain of not getting what you want creates a platform for being real. And because we can all identify with not getting what we want of coming up just a bit short of knowing that we have more in us, but not getting free. So I'm really excited

about what comes next for the men and women who, that I was fortunate enough to work with, like, like really excited. I think that it could be game changing for many, not just themselves. So gold is like a game changer for themselves maybe in some cases, but the other part of using the experiences and the awareness and the knowing of what really happened and the openness to talk and share about that knowing, that's going to be rad. So if we go just a little bit, you know, on that thread a little bit more that through the lenses of spiritual materialism, and if you're not, you know, if you're not familiar with that phrase, it's a fun phrase to take a look at. It's not a matter of building up one's credentials or medals to present to the world or others as being completed. Rather, you know, this was a moment, a series of moments at the Olympics to explore

the boundaries of capacity. How well did you prepare to be able to be free? And if you have a large circle, if you imagine, like capacity is a circle. If you have a very large circle that you can play at 90%, at 99%, at 98% and find incredible freedom. You know, so it's a way to explore capacity and potential. And it's, it is, the games are an orchestrated arena that is primed for many, many, many experiences of flow state. You know, there's that skills challenge balance that's right there. And it's a narrow band of skills challenge balance, you know, meaning that the challenge is really high because you're around scores of other people that are very skilled and it requires your skill to be on point.

So that band is very narrow on the elite stage. And so when it's very narrow on the elite stage or the world stage, it requires one's mind to be able to love that narrow band and to never give away through mindset or setting one's mind, never give away the skills that you've earned, both physical and mental, never give them away based on who's across the net, who's across the pool, who's across the, the pitch or the time that you have left to be able to do your thing. Yeah, that stuff is really cool. And so, you know, to be able to experience when you're in the orchestra, no, when you're in the arena or the amphitheater that is prime for flow state, if you have, if you have fear,

you got to use that fear somehow to be able to come back to now. And so it is really a test to let go, to feel the pain of holding on as well, and to love or fight with the ones that partnered with you along the journey. So that's all there. It's all the makings and it's based on your framework and it's based on the filters that you use to be able to make sense of the moment-to-moment experiences that are taking place. And if you have a moment, go back and refresh yourself with what's called cognitive distortions, you know, and there's, I don't know, depending on what research you look at, there's seven cognitive distortions or 11 cognitive distortions, but over-personalizing,

over-generalizing, black and white thinking, okay. So let me decode those over personalizing is like something happens in the world around you and you make it about you. And so if that filter is, is, um, used often that you over personalize experiences around you, for example, somebody cuts you off on a road and the over personalization would be like, see, I always get cut off. That person didn't see me and damn it. You know, and you just get fired up that, that somehow that had to do with you when really that person is just, they're late because, you know, grandma's getting rushed to the hospital or something. And if you knew that you'd say, yeah, yeah, I'm okay with them cutting me off.

But it's that filter of over-personalization that adds to stress, adds to pressure, adds to, you know, anxiousness orness or depression or whatever. So where am I going? I'm a little lost in thought, but I think that the amphitheater promotes flow state, but if the filters are not right, it can also create so much stress for people that they use their fear and frustrations and anxiousness against the objective and again and against the people that they partnered with so there's there's also something really special about being around so many people that are in elite physical and mental shape. It's hard to pinpoint, but it's certainly noticeable by those who enjoy precision.

And there's something really special about watching the world-class performers, you know, geek out on watching other world-class performers. And there was a particular moment, head coach for the women's indoor team, Karch Karai, we're walking to lunch and there was a USOC put together an incredible training facility and we were sharing space with track and field. And so we're walking from one end of the track to the other.

The sun was out, the ocean's right behind us. We're in this little island, literally an island. And we just got done with training and we're just doing kind of like little just chit chat stuff about what was happening in training and whatever. And I say chit chat stuff because I'm saying that I don't remember the exact thing we're talking about. But I do remember that turning the corner

on the track, we were not on the track, we're right next to it. Turning the corner on the track. We were not on the track. We're right next to it. Turning the corner was an athlete that was captivating. And the clip, and so it was a US athlete, the clip and the rate and the speed and the angle and the shape that he was creating as he was running, it forced both of us to stop and watch. And it was like, I don't know if you've had that moment, but it was like, oh my God, look at this. And he just ripped down the track. I asked later who it was and without names, it was a world record holder in his event. And so both of us look back at each other and say, that's beautiful. And so just being around things that are inspiring to you is really cool, but you got to earn it. You got to get to those environments and communities that are inspiring and add to them, not just be a taker from, but to add to them. And when you add to those environments,

you get to come back. But if you take from those environments, you're not asked back. And so it's like figuring out either it's your skill or your presence or your love for others that you give to those environments allows you to participate and continue to go. So another observation is that there are two ways to approach the games. One psychological way to think about the games is it's the biggest, most chaotic, it's the most dramatic circus that's ever come to town. And you can't really prepare for it. So deal with the chaos and let's prepare you to deal with the chaos. And the other way of thinking about this is that it's another game. Let's use volleyball for an example. The net stays the same size. The ball stays the same weight. The court size is the same. We play the same number of points, the same number of rules. The only thing that's different is that there are more people watching. So you have to make a choice about which way that you see a moment or a challenge or an opportunity.

Is it the gnarliest, biggest thing that you can imagine? Or is it the same set of conditions, just different people watching or more people watching? And then, so I'm a fan of the latter. But if you choose the former, that it's chaotic and it's as crazy and big as you can imagine, then put yourself in those crazy environments as often as you can to figure out how to create space. And there are ways to create space, right? There certainly are. Breathing and down-regulating, making thoughts simple, all of that is important, which is

no different than if you choose that this is just another game. You still want to learn how to downregulate, but you want to learn how to be able to put yourself in control of the controllables. And you want to learn how to master the controllables in either framework, whether it's chaos or another opportunity. Okay. And then there's one other thing is, it's top of mind for me that introverts and extroverts require different regulatory practices. You know, introverts gather energy from being around these environments and introverts, wait, what did I just say? Extroverts gather energy and introverts do it differently. They need to down-regulate and maybe they need to even, because of the intensity of being around so many people they need to amplify their their their recovery

processes okay so either case front-loading a sturdy psychological framework and that's why we talk so much about frameworks in inside this these conversations and podcasts and it's priceless especially during moments of tests you You're going to be tested. Hopefully you're going to be tested today. Can you be yourself? Can you be yourself when others are watching? Can you be yourself when someone challenges an idea or do you become like an ugly version of yourself that is full of, full of, you know, anger and frustration and fear and you bite people and you snap at them and you put up the defenses to be able to protect yourself? Or can you maintain a sense of curiosity? Yeah, it's so good. So keeping it really, really simple is imperative.

And especially in those moments of limited resources, whether it's physical, psychological, or time, we want automatic and simple directions to keep us aligned with who we are and what we're here to do and how to move through this moment, whatever this moment is, in the best possible way. So we want to keep things really simple. So when you do your work, to really be clear about your psychological framework, your philosophy, if you will, having it be really simple is important, but having it be true to you, because when, when limited resources are part of the process and, and you know what I mean by limited resources,

like, like time is of the essence or someone's, someone's got a, you know, someone's hammering you. And, and if you don't figure it out, like you're going to dig yourself in such a hole that you can't get out with the, with the amount of time left. So like with limited resources, having really simple programmed thoughts about who you are and how you do you in, in moment toent situations is really important. So that's why you want to front load a sturdy psychological framework that supports you and challenges you to be the best you so that in any moment of test outside of your arena, you're there for others. Okay. So the Olympics, it's like all other tests.

It's simply one play at a time. You just play one play at a time. It's so oversaid, but it's, if you're in the pool, it's one stroke at a time, you know, and that comes down to one thought at a time. And if you can make those one thoughts at a time, so simple, so pure that you don't need to keep running that script. And that's where you can start, you know, dipping into moments of low flow or even high flow. And again, flow state, the most optimal state of being that humans can experience.

And oftentimes the most fragile state. So we can practice those. We can practice those thoughts everywhere. The trap is thinking that it's anything more than one thought at a time. That's the trap. For sure, that's the trap. All right. How about this? Friends and family, it's the number one source of stress for people. It's the challenge in the arena that bonds people. So we want to have family and friends. We want to be part of a tribe. We want to be connected to people that are meaningful to us. And for the athletes, getting on the court, that's the easy part. It's the managing of the stuff outside of it that's the challenge.

And flat out, parents and loved ones and family and friends, they want to be there to support. They're there to party, to have a good time. And the athletes are there in a work capacity. In what work environment do we have our family there watching us do something really stressful? It doesn't happen. So if you're a parent or a loved one, whether it's Olympic Games or, or, um, pop Warner, you know, being able to, to figure out and front load ahead of time, the best way to be there to truly support, you know, your loved one and having those conversations, like, what do you want? Um, what do you want your off days to look like athlete, you know, for the athlete, how do you want me to participate? Do you want me to just go, go get lost in the city

and be in the stands and cheer like a maniac? And then I'll see it in, you know, 21 days. Or do you want me to, um, on off days, like take your mind off things like just front-loading that conversation is, is so rare and so important because just recognize that, um, whether you're a parent of a, you know, a young athlete or an older athlete, parents and family and friends are the number one source of stress. Okay. So, and let's go back to that idea that it's the challenge that bonds us. It's that shared fight that forces shared trust. And the shared fight can also tear people apart, but that's usually happens just before the moment that the fight really begins. It's that panic moment before. But looking forward to a shared fight, that's a true

accelerant to deep bonds that cannot be forged in environments that don't test the essence of one's character and one's skill, especially when this is done collectively with other people. And that's how one of the ways we move from a team to a tribe is looking forward to the shared fight and knowing that we need each other to be able to move through the fight together. So let's stay connected so that we can all be ourselves completely and be freely. That's so good. And it's just apparent that we all want to belong. That's what we know, we all want to belong. That's what we really want. We want to belong.

We want to know that we matter beyond our skills, beyond our accomplishments or achievements. We want to be with others. We have a much deeper calling in this world than being the best or winning medals. These environments are opportunities to go beyond the surface of accolades and to reveal what is common amongst us all, that thread, that desire to share our journey with others, to share love, to share strain, both physically and mentally, to reveal insight, to grow and to figure out who we are, who we really are. And so there's no, there's no athlete or coach that arrives by himself or herself. We're all part of communities. So fortunate, you know, some are so fortunate to be part of a tribe. And so I'm grateful. So, um, thank you for the athletes and the coaches that have, um, given me the opportunity the opportunity to bond and to share and to add

and to contribute and to receive. And it's a really special bond between people, you know, with a common mission where each person is needed and each person honors the needs of the others. It's a really cool thing. Okay. Last thought. You can't fake it. You have to earn the right to stand alone together. The idea, fake it till you make it, is just flat out a joke. Don't buy it. You have to earn it. You have to earn the ability, like really earn the ability through experiences and relationships with yourself and others to go for it, to be bold, to be open, to adjust to mistakes, to be fluid, and to stand strong. And my hope is that you have the opportunity and the diligence and the mental fortitude to practice this every day, to become good at it. Faking anything, that's the wrong path now. Yeah, it's about, you know, be about it rather than talk about it or show about it. So with that, wow, we're at 54 minutes here. I want to say thank you for listening and I wish you flat out the best and look forward

to hearing you on social and let's see where we can take our community. Okay. All the best. I wish you love and fire. Take care. All right. Thank you so much for diving into another episode of Finding Mastery with us. Our team loves creating this podcast and sharing these conversations with you.

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