Finding Mastery with Dr. Michael Gervais - Nate Boyer: Going for It (Part 2)

Episode Date: March 16, 2016

Nate graduated high school unsure about his path in life. Looking for a challenge and to make a difference, he made his way to the Darfur region of Sudan to help in the refugee camps. The experience, coupled with his memories of 9/11, inspired him to enlist in the U.S. Army as a Special Forces candidate, and he became one of 11 from his class of 150 to graduate with a Green Beret. He has served in Iraq and Afghanistan, earning a Bronze Star for heroism in combat. In this episode: His role in Waterboys, Why veterans can make an impact in 3rd world countries, What you can do to make a difference, The importance of water, Transitioning from military to sports, Going for it with the Seahawks, Coping with falling short of a goal, Why it’s never too late to go after what you want, Merging veterans and players for a common cause._________________Subscribe to our Youtube Channel for more powerful conversations at the intersection of high performance, leadership, and meaning: https://www.youtube.com/c/FindingMasteryGet exclusive discounts and support our amazing sponsors! Go to: https://findingmastery.com/sponsors/Subscribe to the Finding Mastery newsletter for weekly high performance insights: https://www.findingmastery.com/newsletter Download Dr. Mike's Morning Mindset Routine! https://www.findingmastery.com/morningmindsetFollow us on Instagram, LinkedIn, and X.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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there. We take the conversation to explore the difference between PTSD and PTS growth. We talk about the process that he's gone through and the many transitions that he's had in his life and the risk to go for it and that process of being able to take a shot, even when the chips seem like they're stacked up against you. And we leave the conversation talking about the importance of being part of something bigger. And his story around why that matters and how that matters to him is wonderful. And if you could just take a quick moment and maybe even press pause right after I'm done with this part of the conversation and go to iTunes and find Finding Mastery. And if you just could take a moment and write a review, I'm grateful for it.

It's helping create the momentum that we're noticing. And all of the social media activation is wonderful, as well as just taking a few moments to write a review on iTunes. And the more momentum we can generate, the more likelihood we can keep this tribal conversation moving forward. So I want to thank you in advance. Grateful for all of us that are interested in finding mastery in the people's lives that we're celebrating and the mental skills and psychological framework that they're revealing how they've worked to develop both along their path. So thank you to everyone who's been on.

Thank you for everyone who is finding this of interest and spreading the word. So without further introduction from my behalf, let's jump right into the conversation with Nate Boyer. Okay, Nate, we're back. We're back. Thanks for coming and having this conversation and picking up hopefully where we left off, which was the last, I think, part that I remember was that we were talking about Waterboys. Yeah. Talking about Waterboys. So now that we've got the site up, the link up telling the story, we've been sharing that and was very fortunate to get Microsoft on board and had an event up there in Seattle where I was fortunate to get six of the Seahawks out there.

And guys like Earl Thomas brought a couple of his Pro Bowl jerseys that he signed and donated. Was it not easy to come by? No, no. Totally out of the goodness of his heart. And none of them wanted anything in return. They came out and spent over an hour just hanging out with these people, meeting these Microsoft employees. It wasn't all CEOs and bigwigs necessarily. It was people that donated money for a ticket to come and get a raffle ticket and come to this event and just hang around these guys and, you know, take some pictures, talk a little wanted to give house actually came up on stage, unplanned, grabbed the mic and started talking

about his trip to Tanzania and about how it was important to him and seeing that and how, and he's like, you know, I've been there and this is, this is a hundred percent true. This is the impact you guys are making tonight means so much to these people. And, uh, it's amazing to have such a beautiful place like that that has an issue with clean water it's almost doesn't seem right it seems like there's no way that's possible but it is a fact and so that was really cool but uh do you have do you have a crisp vision or and or mission uh that you've been able to articulate i know sometimes having a external facing you know website and and collateral material forces uh crispness of exactly what

you're setting out to do have you sorted that out what the exact mission of water boys the mission for water boys and the mission for nate boy or are a little bit different. They don't conflict, but they're different. I truly believe that me and veterans like me can be the ones who literally solve these third world problems. I really believe that. I know it takes money. I know it takes manpower all that but being into the positions that we've been especially those of us that have served recently you know everything we're doing over there in the Middle East we're always we have to do it by with and through the

local nationals because we're not at war with those countries you know where we're on terrorism and we're trying to help people in these countries. So we know how to deal with, with Indig, you know, and you have to educate them. We've learned that you have to educate them, train them, teach them, uh, and help them grow and be able to fend for themselves. And so, but that stuff is all possible. And I think, you know, number one with, you know, getting the clean water issue fixed and, and, and hunger and basic medical care is, is so much of that as education and showing that we, that we care. And there's, there's

organizations out there, like, I don't know if you heard of team Rubicon before as an example. So that was started by a veteran. It's all veteran run and they do disaster relief all over the third world. Like they went to Haiti, uh, you know, after the earthquakes was at 2010, 2011. And that's how that all started. It was just a group of Marines that just went and helped out and then stuff like that. So it's not surprising that people that would be so mission minded that they would risk their wellbeing, their livelihood, not their livelihood, their life limb, you know, their lifestyle to go serve for. That is their lifestyle. Yeah.

That is their lifestyle. You know what I mean? Yeah. As opposed to giving up something that is, um, uh, they're not giving up something. They're going towards something to serve from the military frame. It's who they are. That's right. It's who they are as people.

And that's, you know, that's one of the biggest issues I think with transitions and these guys coming back and having a difficulty assimilating to life back in the States and fitting in and being quote unquote normal because we're not, we're just built differently. And then what we've experienced has grown us in a different way. And if we don't have that continued service element in that way, and it's gotta be in an extreme way, almost, uh, we feel kind of lost,

I think. And that's why I think it's, it would be cool to, to empower those guys to do these things. It's going to take a long time. We're not going to fix, you know, peace on earth next week,

uh, or whatever. Yeah. But I really do believe that spearheading this could be United States veterans. I really believe that. What a great mission. You know, and there's so many of us. It fits you. Right.

Yeah. And also your appreciation of entrepreneurship, you know, and to galvanize people around a mission and to have it be sustaining so that it can continue over the long, long haul. Like you've got a nice blend of all of these different facets of going for it, being mission minded, knowing how to pull people together and also not being naive about the importance of resources to be able to get the mission accomplished. Yeah. We can't do it alone. We know that too. Yeah. We, you know, that, um, like you said, that the blending of all that stuff, including

the civilian world and the people that are very successful in the civilian world and understand more than we do about what we're going to need aside from just passion, you know, and the willingness to go do it. So, okay. What, uh, what's the name of the website? But anyway, yeah. Go back to the water boys mission is, you know, the, the clear mission for that is a little bit different. Mine is just huge cause I'm a dreamer. That's who I am. But you know, there's this basically to, um, solve the clean water issue in Tanzania. That's how that started, you know, in East Africa, essentially, but they're starting in Tanzania and doing that through these solar powered water wells that they're having being

dug. And their basic plan is 32 wells from 32 teams in the NFL. So, you know, representatives from each team raising money for these wells. Um, what is the, um, what's the website, the website? So the website is waterboys.org slash Kili K I L I. Okay. So waterboys.org is the website of the entire water boys mission, including those 32 wells, 32 teams, the conquering Kili project, which is this Kilimanjaro climb to raise the money is yeah. That's, that's the, the separate mission within a mission that me and Blake Watson, who's the single leg amputee that's climbing with me are doing. So yeah, waterboys.org slash Killy.

Killy. And is that where people could go to donate? Absolutely. Yeah. You can read about the whole thing, explaining the five W's and then also that's the donation page as well. Okay. So I have this thought in the back of my head, which is why, if there's NFL professional athletes that are behind this, why would you need my thousand dollars or a hundred dollars? It's a great point. And, you know, just so people know these guys that are behind this as NFL players, they all had to make a monetary commitment to just have their name on, on it. You know what I mean? And it was, it's fairly substantial. So that's a total genuine concern. I understand that because I initially thought that too, when Chris reached out to me, I'm like, why don't these guys just

donate it themselves? And you know, there's millions of dollars floating on that around that locker room. Well, some of the guys have within the locker room raised money. I know, you know, Chad Greenway from the Minnesota Vikings just went around his locker room and got guys on board and they've made donations that way. Um, but other than that, you know, those guys had to, had to donate. And, but I think for me, what would be more powerful for me is I want more people involved and not just in this mission, but finding their own mission maybe. But I would rather raise the million dollars from a million people donating a dollar each than from one big corporation or person with a lot of money cutting a check. That's cool. That's great.

I mean that would be amazing to see that. But for me, it's affecting the masses and providing the people with a sense of purpose and inspiring them to maybe create their own conquering Kelly, you know? Yeah. And how much money do you guys are looking to raise in the next three years? We're in the next, hopefully, um, ASAP. I don't know what time so bad about setting a timeline because I'm just like, well, let's, I don't want to give it three years. Let's just do it now. I want to raise a million dollars, because I'm just like, well, I don't want to give it three years. Let's just do it now. Yeah. I want to raise a million dollars, which would be enough for 22 wells. That common number that's sort of out there in society is that 22 veterans a day are losing the battle with suicide.

I don't know if it's exactly that number. There's reports that say, no, it's higher. It's lower. The point is it should be zero. And the reason for the number one reason is not PTSD. It's not the brokenness. It's the lack of purpose and mission moving forward when these guys are coming back. In my opinion, you could call me wrong. We're both nodding our heads to that because, um, this idea of PTSD, while as brutal as that is,

as an experience, the, the pain of being pulled away and not finding a purpose and a mission greater than oneself is difficult to deal with when a person is purposely mission-minded. Totally. And they're organized that way naturally from a young child. And so there's PTSD and there's also post-traumatic growth. So people can come back from seeing, smelling, feeling difficult experiences and grow. And so the brokenness is a misnomer. While it's real, I don't want to get – I don't want to – No, I'm not discounting that post-traumatic stress exists. All of that's real. But it's not a veteran issue. It's a human issue larger than the military experiences coming back from war is not having purpose, not having a mission, not having something that they can anchor to that is greater to them.

Spiritual frameworks and religion have done that for a long time for people. The 70s were unbelievable with women's rights and civil rights and the conversation of war and where it fits in the global conversation. And I feel like we got caught in technology and self-absorption and me and the disease of me, if you will, in the last 10, 15 years. And so this is a really timely conversation. And obviously, I can feel the clip of the way I'm speaking right now that this is important. What you're doing is important. I hope so. Yeah. Yeah. No. Yeah. I feel that purpose. And if I'm wrong, it doesn't matter because I feel it. So, but the question you're asking people pushing forward. Yeah. Well, but,

but the question you're asking people, even in this conversation is what, what are you, what are you doing to make the world better? What is your mission in life? How are you taking your natural skills? And this is a great, this is a great exercise. What are your natural skills and abilities? What are your God-given talents, if you will? And how are you bringing them into the world today? And then if you did that many days in a row, what would that look like? That's essentially the roadmap for a mission and our vision in somebody's life. What is possible if you indexed on your natural skills and abilities? I totally agree. You know, that's what I tell people when they ask me that question these days, whether it's, how can I help with water boys if I don't have a lot of

money to give? Or how can I, what's the best thing I can do for vets? How can I help vets? And the answer is whatever you're good at, whatever your skill is, whatever your talent is, do that in a way that it's helping these people or whatever. Don't try to do something completely unrelated that you don't know about. Don't try to jump into a world that is totally foreign to you and try to learn a new skill or something like that necessary. I mean, maybe if that's where your passion's at. But if you're already a great cook, you know what I mean? Then teach veteran cooking classes for free or something like that. That's just a random thought that popped in my head.

Or find an organization that's doing that for a particular population. And offer what you have to them. And there's going to be people out there that are going to gravitate towards that and then you're already doing what you're good at what you're probably interested in what you love and there's like-minded people out there that you know would want to learn from you and you would be benefiting that's people in those situations and now everyone is aligned exactly yeah and i know you know this but it's probably important just for us to put a marker in it before we get to the concept of transition is that water in the next, I don't know, generation maybe is going to be something that is, um, there's conversations at least,

I don't know for certain, but the scarcity of water of clean water is, is a conversation that's worth paying attention to. And desalinization is, is, um, you know, a place where people are really spending time to see if we can figure out ways to access and use water that has natural salt water that we can actually drink from because of the pollution from underground streams and rivers and the pollution that's naturally taking place, um, from the industrial nation finding a critical time. We're running into that right now where our natural resources are being depleted. So water is going to be a very important concept moving forward.

Yeah. And people are taking it seriously. Not just for third world country. Yeah. I mean, I know Bill Gates, for instance, and I can't think of his name right now, but the, uh, the CEO of five hour, five hour, five hour energy, the guy that the founder of five hour energy, who's a, you know, multi-billionaire they're super involved in, uh, you know, the clean water projects and, uh, water purification systems, you know, I mean, literally turning sewage into drinking water, which sounds frightening. I don't want to know about it. You know, I don't know what, I don't want to know I'm drinking toilet water, but if they can do that, I mean, how amazing is that? It's happening. Yeah. It is happening. So

I know I read somewhere that Bill Gates thinks this issue is worldwide could be a done deal in 15 years, which is not that long. Right. You know, so I challenge it. I challenge everybody to beat that. But I mean, that's, that's awesome. You know, that's, that's hope. That's, that's hope. And that's what you want to hear. Without oxygen and water, we die. Right. And so it's one of the two.

Number one. Yeah. You know, besides air and. Yeah. Three, three days for water. Right. Right. About three days.

It starts getting really tricky. Yeah. I don't know the exact, the exact, uh, yeah, the exact number on that, but it's, you need it. You can go without food for a little while, a little longer, you know what I mean? Or you can make do eating something you wouldn't normally eat, but water trying to be better today than you were yesterday. What you put in your body matters. And that's why I trust Momentus. From the moment I sat down with Jeff Byers,

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FindingMastery20 at checkout. Again, that's Felix Gray. You spell it F-E-L-I-X-G-R-A-Y.com and use the code FindingMastery20 at FelixGray.com for 20com for 20 off okay so let's get into transition and let's talk about um your transition from military uh to sport and then from college to the pros okay and then from pros back to serve or yeah back to service 87% at one point in time, the number 87% of NFL athletes within two years of leaving the league were broke, divorce or both. And it's a catastrophic number. That's a big number. That's a huge number. And I'm more interested in the 13%. How did the 13% that figured out how to transition well from an experience that was pretty intense the nfl is really intense as an environment and how have they figured out where the rest of their

peers couldn't you're one of the 13 percent that are working their way through it you didn't play in the nfl for one two three four you know i don't did you play a few months yeah did you i was going to say years but did you play um in the first season or Did you, I was going to say years, but did you play, um, uh, in the first season or did you get, you played in the preseason and it got cut before the full roster? Yeah. Yeah. Right. Like pretty early on.

Yep. Yeah. Okay. So, um, okay. So, but you transition, you went for it, you were straining and striving and you didn't get the thing you wanted. Right. Right.

And you wanted it. Absolutely. You, you changed your body. I watched you change your body in the course of 35 pounds in like four or five months, which is a lot. That's a lot of weight. You know, that's not all muscle. There's just no way without injecting illegal drugs into my body to gain that kind of weight and muscle, all muscle wise. So you just just had to i had to eat constantly and yeah and which was everyone's like oh that sounds awesome like no no sure it becomes you feel this you know disgusting at times where you but you have to do it because you're committed to this oh say that again you had to do you had to be to do the disgusting work right yeah exactly i mean whether it's grinding in the gym or just eating every 55 minutes, which is what I was doing it. If I wanted to have anybody take me seriously and at least

have this opportunity, I had to do this. I had to do this to myself, you know, and, uh, obviously people have sacrificed way more to make dreams come true in other ways. But I mean, this was at that time I was told I had to weigh a certain amount, uh, NFL and your work drafts toward it. Okay. So you didn't get the thing you wanted. You chipped in, everybody knew what you're working towards, um, your family, your loved ones. Uh, you had, you had media covering what you're doing and you didn't get it. Right. So let's talk about that transition. How have you, and you're kind of maybe in the middle of it, but maybe not, maybe you've made sense of this. How have you figured it out or how are you figuring out the transition from going for

it and not getting the thing you want? Because the reason I want to ask this, this is what I think many people are afraid of is saying publicly what they want to experience publicly going for it and not, and coming up short. Yeah. Because I, I'm guessing it's because they're so worried about what everybody else thinks. You know what I mean? And that, that failure, if I fail, everyone's going to laugh at me or they're going to think I'm an idiot for trying and blah, blah, blah. But the reality is even those people that are laughing inside, they're jealous that you had the guts to just go for it. You know what I mean? And when they grow up one day, whether that's when they turn 21 or when they turn 51 or maybe never, and if they never do, then who cares about those people anyway?

They're going to realize that guy lived his life, you know, that guy lived and I never lived a day because I, everything's been comfortable and easy and, um, and I never put it on the line and never put it on the line. I didn't put it on the line enough. Right. Yeah. If you don't, the most uncomfortable I feel is when it's an easy day, you know what I mean? And, and, and when I feel all those comforts and I feel like there's no problems or there's no challenge for that day, that's uncomfortable for me. That doesn't feel right. You know, I don't want to be, I don't like feeling like that. It feels like I'm not being productive and maybe I am in some way,

but it doesn't feel like it because I'm not pushing myself and pushing people around me and, you know, going after something that people either tell you you can't do, or you think you might not be able to do if I don't have that feeling. And, and, uh, I think a lot of people have that are like that, you know, once they get it, once they get a sense of it and sort of a taste of, of, of that, it's, it's amazing what we're capable of as people. I mean, it's insane and everybody's capable of it. It's not just me, you know, it's a choice. Yeah. And it's not, it's never, this is an accurate statement. I don't want to say something glib, like it's never too late, but I don't know. It's true. I think I do believe that. I totally believe that, you know? Yeah. At any age. Obviously, I will only caveat that with like legally and physically sometimes that may not be 100% true.

Yeah, cool. Like 20 years from now, I could not really give the NFL a run. You know what I mean? A run for its money. I shot it. But I did it at 34 without ever playing the game five years before that. And most people would be like, that's impossible. You shouldn't even try. Why bother? But the idea is to take your, what you're naturally good at,

your skills and abilities and match them in the environment where you can thrive with something that is mission-minded, that is bigger, that you can, um, that's much bigger than yourself. Right. And if we can, if we can get clarity on that idea, I think it's really cool because the index away from that is Twitter, Facebook, not the building of those companies, but the consumption of them for self-gratification. Right. The building of those is amazing.

They did something really big. Yes, absolutely. But the consumption can be a trap. It's also really, it's great as well for sharing mass media. It's a double-edged sword for sure. Yeah. Okay. So transition, is the bright line on this that you hooking into something that is bigger, is that the bright line? and doing something that, uh, allows your entire being to light up. Yes. For me. I mean, it's, uh, like that's, like I said, that service element and I, and

for, for a little bit, I thought it was maybe just what I learned in the military, but it's not, it's just, that's a human thing. Cause I've been around people since then that are motivated, moved by this, that never served a day, you know what I mean? around people since then that are motivated, moved by this, that never served a day, you know what I mean? In the military. Right. Um, you know, but serving other people, that's just like anything they tell you when you're a kid, you know, it's better to give a gift than to receive one. And I mean, it's true. That's the greatest fee, you know, that feeling and feeling good about yourself and feeling good about what you're doing with your life is more important than anything. Uh, I mean, that's, that's how you're a better dad, better husband, better person

is having that feeling inside you. If you feel like what you do doesn't matter on a daily basis, whether that's your job or just whatever, you're not going to be good at those things as good at those things. Cause you're yourself where it's going to be in the, in the tubes, you know? And, uh, yeah, I mean, that's great insight and transitioning for me it's always here you know i'll get into this now is it's always whenever i'm involved in something and doing something whether it was you know a green beret or or playing football or whatever there's still a part of me that's looking towards the future and thinking about what this is going to lead to next. You know what I mean? Um, because at least for me, there is no

like end all. Yeah. I don't think you're ever going to reach this point of just happiness, you know, or euphoria. It's a pursuit of happiness. That's why they call it that, you know what I mean? But that's where the joy comes in, you know, the pursuit of anything. It's never the, you know, it's the, whatever the, it's the journey, not the destination. A hundred percent true though. You know what I mean? And you get to that point, you feel good for a few seconds maybe. And then you're like, okay, so now what? Cause you need that mission. You need that journey, that purpose, that, that thing that you're, you're, you're driving towards. That's what makes you happy. That's what makes people happy. I think. And,

um, that's like when people have, you know, when people have kids and it's no longer about them, cause that's a lifelong, I mean, you want to watch that kid succeed and do all that. Uh, I think they become a lot, oftentimes a lot more happy because they're living for something else. You know, they're not living for themselves anymore. They're living for something else. And, um, anyway, so I always had that thing. I always had something when I was, um, before I even went into the army, after coming back

from, from the Darfur, it was always about, yes, I want to serve my country. Yes. I want to go fire up with these people, but you know, long run, I want to, for the rest of my life, I want to improve the quality of life for these people in the third world, you know, and that's still my, my mission, you know, and now it's gone beyond that to where, like I was saying, I think we can literally solve all these third world problems. I think that's totally doable. And, and, you know, maybe I don't know what fate has in store. Maybe it's impossible, but the pursuit of that for the rest of my life is going to make me happy anyway. And at least I'll, I think affect X number of

people's lives, uh, in a positive way. So I always had that thing. So then going, coming out of green braids in a football, I, I knew I was in Iraq when I made that decision of what I was going to strive for next and go in to play college football at Texas. And so I started training when I was there. So that transition was seamless because it wasn't even a transition for me. It was like I'm already working towards this thing. So when the military ended, I didn't have that, okay, now what moment? And that's what a lot – I think football players have that exact thing. Cause they're like, this is all I know. This is what I do. You know, I'm an NFL football player and then they

get cut and no one's picking them up. And it's like, that's a trap, isn't it? That's who I am. And it's not, it's not decoupling. What you do from who you are is really a powerful process. And then being clear on the attributes or characteristics that you've developed in the thing that you've done, which is the NFL or military and knowing how to take those characteristics and bring them into something else. That's, that's the stitching to the next. Okay. Um, and then, so you've got this other idea. What is next? Yeah. So, um, next., yeah. So for me, like you were saying, I, I got done with college, I got done with playing in Texas and I had the opportunity with the Seahawks, which is amazing.

You know, obviously there was a few teams that called after the draft and you know, the one that I ended up going with, there was a reason behind that. It wasn't just because Seattle's a great city or, you know, that, I don't know, there's a lot of these big personalities and it would have been cool to be around these guys. It was the way that, you know, the Hawks approach things. And I didn't know a ton about that because I wasn't around it. But I knew that there was a lot of guys that were not NFL stars just a couple of years ago. And all of a sudden this team's winning all these games and you watch them play and they played, they're different. They just play different than other teams. You know, you know, coach Carol talks about chip on their, you know, guys with a

chip on his shoulder and all that. And you really see that you see the passion that they play with, you know what I mean? flying around to the ball um i mean it's scary i can imagine it's scary for some offenses out there when you've got these guys just i mean they're just headhunters you know and not in that it's not a bad way not in new orleans way yeah that's not taught yeah yeah what no no the tackling actually the tackling you know the tackling that's taught there is the safest tackling probably in the league. Yeah. But that's not what it is. You know, that's, it's not the way they're, it's not the technique.

It's just the way they're flocking to the ball. Literally a bunch of Seahawks flocking to the ball carrier when, when he catches a ball, you know, and that locker room's more like a college locker room. It's the guys play for one another. You know what I mean? It's, there's still an element of service on the football field and that's what makes them different, I think. rooms more like a college locker room it's the guys play for one another you know what i mean there's still an element of service on the football field and that's what makes them different i think and there's a difference between pursuing your best and pursuing a path to help other people become their best and moving graduating from the first part of that to the second part is really important and that's one of the elements that the Seahawks work towards is creating an environment to help celebrate somebody else

being their best. Right. Yeah. And that's a, that's a totally different deal. Right. It's not easy. No, it's not. Right. Because of the selfishness that comes with being a human. Right. You know, absolutely. Yeah. And a part of being human is to find comfort. And so we're constantly combating fatigue, human nature, and selfishness is certainly part of it. Right. No, but yeah. So, I mean, that transition, you know, it continues. So for me, if it wasn't Waterboys, it would have been something else. But I would have had something that, but I would have, I would

have had something, uh, that was going to be, you know, my next mission looking forward. So tell us about MVP. Yeah. So MVP talking about these transitions, you know, I, I actually have become really good friends with, uh, Jay Glazer. Who's a, he's a Fox sports personality for, for you, those of you that don't know who he is. And he's also a big military supporter and he's one of these, you know, he's an NFL insider.

But what he really is, is he's the guy that every coach calls when a story needs to get broke because they trust him. They know he's going to do it right. And he's friends with these guys. He's friends with all the GMs, with all the coaches. And we were, you know, we talk about it all the time. Just why these guys are having trouble.

Veterans are having trouble with this transition, you know, and Jay would talk about, you know, football players have the same thing, you know, they're like, he's like,

I know it's different because you guys went to combat and stuff, but you know, it's just, it sounds like the same type of stuff these guys are going through. And so we just were, but you know, it's just, it sounds like the same type of stuff these guys are going through. And so we just were like, you know, well, why does it have to be different? Cause the whole point of what I think is important about, uh, a lot of these issues with veterans is not making them veteran issues, you know, letting people understand that they're human issues. Everyone goes through them at different levels and different things can cause a lot of this, you know, quote unquote, PTS or trauma or

whatever. And so we decided to just start this organization, you know, and we're calling it MVP, which stands for merging vets and players. So it's bringing these guys all together to be able to just talk about these things and experience things together. And, you know, we, we brought a couple of them out to LA and we went and trained with them in the gym and sat around and just, you know, empowered them and, and, and showed them like, Hey, look, you're not different than this guy. This guy played in the NFL and they look, it's so funny how they look at each other. You know, empowered them and, and, and showed them like, Hey, look, you're not different than this guy. This guy played in the NFL. And they look, it's so funny how they look at each other. You know, the NFL guys like, wow, this guy's a war hero. I don't know anything about that. You know, he's done things I would never do. And then the veterans just like, you know,

you're pro football player. Like everybody wanted to be you since they were a little kid, you know? Um, but at the end of the day, they're just two people. And the thing that they love, the thing that they were passionate about and that they put all their time and energy into one day ends. And for them, they feel like that's their identity. That's who they are. And they won't be able to do anything else. And it's just completely not true. versus, you know, PTS, um, that growth element is simply understanding and conceptualizing the fact that you survived all this stuff and did more than most people could ever say.

Most people would love to have the opportunity to, to, to be where you're at now with what you've accomplished and survived and all that. So like, what are you going to do now? You can do anything. You know what I mean? You can pick anything. It can be anything that you're passionate about. It's that perspective shift. Yeah. It is really important. And not, you know, your life is over. What you did is over, you know, yes, your football career ended or your military service ended, but you're, you know, your life, it's an awesome opportunity. It's an awesome point that you're at now. You can literally do whatever you want. You know, the world is your oyster. You have a choice, especially being here in America. You know, why would you ever let,

uh, let any of those dreams slip away and not go after whatever that is. And maybe it's something that you've wanted to do forever. And maybe it's something you don't even know about yet, but just thinking that, you know, who you are is lost now and you'll never get it back. Uh, and Oh, this, you know, I'm different, but I'm different, you know, and no, Jay talks about like this. He's like, yeah, I'm different. You know, I'm different than these people. These people aren't like me. And you know, that's a great thing. That's a great place to start from. I, I, I, I'm going to be able to do things. Uh, I have the confidence and I understand what it takes, what you have to sacrifice and how much work you have to put in to make something happen. You know what I mean? So

I'm, I'm starting at a better place than 99.9% of people because of what I've already accomplished, not what I've been through. Oh, that's a totally different perspective shift. Finding Mastery is brought to you by Cozy Earth. Over the years, I've learned that recovery doesn't just happen when we sleep. It starts with how we transition and wind down. And that's why I've built intentional routines into the way that I close my day. And Cozy Earth has become a new part of that. Their bedding, it's incredibly soft, like next level soft. And what surprised me the most is how much it actually helps regulate temperature. I tend to run warm at night, and these sheets have helped me sleep cooler and more consistently,

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which tells me, tells you, that they believe in the long-term value of what they're creating. If you're ready to upgrade your rest and turn your bed into a better recovery zone, use the code FINDINGMASTERY for 40% off at CozyEarth.com. That's a great discount for our community. Again, the code is FINDINGMASTERY for 40% off at CozyEarth.com. Finding Mastery is brought to you by Caldera Lab. I believe that the way we do small things in life is how we do all things. And for me, that includes how I take care of my body.

I've been using Caldera Lab for years now. And what keeps me coming back, it's really simple. Their products are simple. And they reflect the kind of intentional living that I want to build into every part of my day. And they make my morning routine really easy. They've got some great new products I think you'll be interested in. A shampoo, conditioner, and a hair serum. With Caldera Lab, it's not about adding more.

It's about choosing better. And when your day demands clarity and energy and presence, the way you prepare for it matters. If you're looking for high quality personal care products that elevate your routine without complicating it, I'd love for you to check them out. Head to calderalab.com slash finding mastery and use the code finding mastery at checkout for 20% off your first order. That's calderalab, C-A-L-D-E-R-L-A-B.com slash finding mastery. Okay. So where can people find out more about MVP? MVP it's vetsandplayers.org. And we're working with some of the people up at the NFL through their NFL legends program. So it's a lot of ex-players and we want to expand this into

other sports and it's going to be enormous. It's going to be huge, but, um, yeah, I can't, uh, however I can help. And because you're onto something really important, you know how you can help. Okay. Go ahead. You know how you can help. We just talked about it. You know, I mean, you're, you're using what you, who you are, your skills and all that. I mean, that's, I I'm going to utilize you. So just be ready for that because a lot of the, you know, these conversations and stuff, I mean, that's, I, I'm going to utilize you. So just be ready for that because a lot of the, you know, these conversations and stuff, I mean, it's, that's exactly what, you know, empowering these guys. It's all, it's all, that's what it's all about. Yeah.

And there's an, there's an, uh, you're uncovering or going to dust up something that is important, which is, um, one of the frames for high performance is getting, getting people that are highly talented in one discipline, getting them around other people that are highly talented in other disciplines. And that's one of the things that you're doing. And that learning experience and the normalization is really powerful for an acceleration for what's next, whatever people can put their minds towards. Okay. So let's wrap. But before we go, I want to know one more. Well, this is kind of a series of questions, but it's really about you. So do you, are you, and so just choose and toggle between these two. Are you street smart or analytical? What I'm both confident in myself, so I'm both, but I don't, you know what? I'm more street smart for sure. I try not on purpose to analyze things too much or to spend too much time debating with

myself because there's a chance I might talk myself out of it. Yeah. You know what I mean? And the idea behind this question is when you scan the world, are you good at picking up nuances externally or internally? So street smart says I can pick up nuances in the world. And internally is like, no, I can analyze and think and that's my gift or asset. Probably externally. Externally.

Yeah, I'm not that smart. Come on, please. Okay. It's a gift though. People that overthink things. It's a gift though. You know, people that overthink things, you know, that's right. You know, I've had that issue before with other, with other things in life, you know, when you're trying to learn a new skill athletically, you know, you got it, you got to practice all the little movements, make it just like long snapping and they turn

into a big movement. But as soon as you start overthinking all that stuff at once, you can't do it. You can't do it. You can't do it successfully anyway. Yeah. Thinking gets in the way of doing. Exactly. Yeah. Okay. Do you prefer a slow-paced environment or fast-paced environment?

Fast-paced. Are you a rule follower or risk taker? Rule breaker. Yeah. Yeah. Risk taker for sure. Yeah. If you were the first person to go to Mars and you had a 50% chance of coming back alive and a 50% chance of not, but being the first person to go to Mars has some significance to it, would you go?

I would go if I was the best man for the job. You know what I mean? But I think it would be selfish just to go to go. If there's a guy that's going to get something done and better what we have here, you know, send that guy, send that guy. And I'm not saying that because I'm worried about dying, but if I'm the best man for the job, a hundred percent, I'm there. Love your answer. Uh, do you have a high need for control? Unfortunately? Yes. Okay. So letting go is a challenge? It's a challenge.

Okay. But I understand the importance of it. But it is a challenge. Yeah. Are you more intellectually competitive or physically competitive? Or high on both? Pretty high on both. Pretty high.

I'd say probably more intellectually, but pretty high on both. Are you, on the inner dialogue, are you more positive or critical? You know, I, I think I'm more critical in a positive way. So I'm actually a glass half empty person. And does that mean pessimistic? Yeah, I think, but, but it's different than most people would say what glass half empty is. People might consider this glass half full. So I see that glass as half empty. And what can I do to fill up the other half? If I see it as half full, then I'm satisfied with it being half full.

And that's just not who I am. You know what I mean? I want that glass full. So I see a glass half empty. But I'm spending my time and energy filling that thing up. I love the realism in that. Do you make fast decisions or slow decisions? Or do you take your time?

Fast decisions. Okay. Pressure comes from? Pressure comes from, I guess, pursuing those things that you love, you know, for me. I mean, that's where I feel, I feel pressure when I care about something, when it matters to me, that's when that pressure, you know, it comes in and it's not always bad pressure. Cool. It all comes down to. It's like stress. It's like, you know, what they call it, stress and eustress. Yes.

You know what I mean? Distress and eustress. Yes. Distress and eustress. Exactly. I mean, not all stress is bad. That's right. It's good. A lot of it's good. It gets your mind working in different ways. And I feel the same way about pressure. It puts you in a position where you have to get something done. You have to make a decision. And I think it can lead to more focus, higher focus and better results sometimes, at least with me, I think pressure situations. Yeah. So what you're doing is your, your, your psychological framework

around pressure is that it facilitates better. Right. So then go look and find moments that bring test and challenge because you're better in those moments. Absolutely. There you go. Um, it all comes down to, it all comes down to this every second of every day. I mean, you know, it, it all comes down to when you have that downtime, you start thinking about what am I doing? What am I doing? You know, it all comes down to this. It all comes down to this moment, this time. Um, and you can, in a second, you can make a decision to completely change your life and the way that you're living. You know, it's, it's, it's up to you. You're, you're in more control than you think. God bless the Zen of Nate Boyer. Yeah. All right. Uh, the crossroad of my life was say it again. I'm sorry. The crossroad in my life

was, I think, uh, the Darfur, you know, and we went over that, but that was the biggest shift and change in me, you know, and it was about that age of 23 when people oftentimes have a big change in the way that they think and live. But this was like a 180 really. Success is? 180 really success is success is understanding that you're never going to be successful, but that, you know, success is in the pursuit of being successful, I guess. Yeah. For me, it's probably really confusing, but no, I think so. I like for me, this, look, the way I would answer this statement, success is I'd say overrated. Yeah. You know, I think it's a misnomer. What is it? I mean, people can't, you can't really define it.

You know, it's different for every person. That's why I'm asking like talented people and people that are insightful, like how they think about it. Yeah. Yeah. I hope I didn't taint your or somebody's view on this in a way that's going to, you know, over influence future people's responses, but it just seems overrated to me. Anyways, love, love, just love question mark. Yeah. What's next? Love marriage. The baby carriage. Yeah. Um,

you know, love your, love your brothers. No, no. The baby carriage. Yeah. You know, love your brothers. Flow. Flow. Flow, that word for me just, it relaxes me. You know what I mean? Because I know what that feels like. And that doesn't have to be in sports, you know. but when you truly are in, in flow and, you know,

or in the zone or whatever you want to call it, it's, uh, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a euphoric place. It really is. It really is. Do you, do you think you're good at it getting into that place? I would like to be better. I would like to be better, but when I'm in it, uh, I know what it feels like and And yeah, it's tough to be. And you get so much done when you're in that. There's ways that you can influence that, that you can influence the frequency of it. We'll need to talk about that soon. Because I want to ask one more question.

I am. I am charging forward always. My vision is my vision is sometimes blurred by everything around me, but you know, I'm, I'm able to see through it. I know it's clear on the other side. How do you articulate mastery? How do you talk about that concept? I think it's just like a success in a lot of ways. I don't, I don't know if mastery is the, a peak of a mountain or a point of a mountain, you know, I think it's part of that journey, uh, and, and knowing how to eventually get to the places that you want to get to, um, you know, understanding what it takes of you

and how to work through turning those obstacles into opportunities. You know what I mean? Uh, that's, that's mastery. It's not just, I am perfect at doing this. I'm the master of, you know, Jack of all trades and the master of this one or whatever. It's understanding that you can, there's always room for improvement. You're always, uh, that journey towards being a master is one that will probably never end, but that's what mastery is, you know, taking part in that journey. Love it. Nate, thanks for time. Thanks for the commitment that you've made to, um, me being able to do this with you by serving our country in a meaningful way. And thank you for sharing your insights.

What you've done is remarkable. And the way that you can articulate and share it is hopefully a breath into people so that they can take an index within themselves and explore what's possible in their own lives. Absolutely. Maybe hook into something that is already existing like Waterboys or MVP or whatever call and service that allows them to light up or create it on their own. Exactly. Yeah. So I say this often, but I'm going to figure out ways to support you both financially and time and talent. So however I can do that, uh, I'm excited to do it.

I'm expecting that from you. All right. Where can we find more? It's been an honor. I really appreciate you having on, having me on. And, uh, I mean, this is the kind of stuff I love to talk about. This is what, if I'm going to spend time, uh, away from the projects I'm working on, it's, it's talking about empowering people to do the same types of things that kind of gets me going. So yeah, I'm glad you had me on. Yeah. Thank you. That's great. We'll do more. Cool. Yeah. We'll do more. Um, where can people find out more about you? Where would you like them to go? Um, I have a website. Yeah. Nayboyer.com. B-O-Y-E-R. B-com. B O Y E R. Yeah. I don't, we don't

have any of the MVP stuff up there on that, but I, you know, about that website, but that's basically, yeah, that's the best way. I mean, it's got a bunch of social media. I'm on Twitter at Nate Boyer, 37, Nate Boyer, 37. Okay. That was my college number. So, okay. Perfect. Yeah. All right. Um, so, you know, if you're, if you're you're interested in helping MVP or Waterboys, go find that. Hit up Nate Boyer on Twitter, on his homepage, and also Waterboys. Waterboys.org slash Killy. Killy, yes. And then MVP is called, what's the website? Vetsandplayers.org. Beautiful. Okay. Thanks for listening. Thanks for being part of this. I can't tell you how grateful I am for the opportunity to sit with people that have insight and have alignment in their life.

And if you've enjoyed this podcast, go to findingmastery.net, share it with somebody, talk about it. And we know that I can't, I don't have no idea how to help on the iTunes rating, but writing reviews helps and it matters. So please share what we're doing. Write a review. Help us out in that way. Ask any question that you're interested in on Twitter, at Michael Gervais.

And until next time. Until next time. I just realized real quick, finding mastery. That's exactly, that's what mastery is. The pursuit of finding it. Yeah. That's what it is. But anyway. All right, man. Let's do it. Thank you so much. Okay. The pursuit of finding it. Yeah. That's what it is. But anyway.

All right, man. Let's do it. Thank you so much. Okay. Take care. Appreciate it. All right. Thank you so much for diving into another episode of Finding Mastery with us.

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