Finding Mastery with Dr. Michael Gervais - Taking Care of Your Mentals | NFL Legend, Marshawn Lynch

Episode Date: October 18, 2020

A few days ago I connected with former NFL legend and Seattle Seahawk running back, Marshawn Lynch, to discuss mental health.It was a great conversation - live on Uninterrupted's Instagram page. I wanted to share it here in case you missed it. The audio is a little subpar since its from Instagram but the conversation makes up for it.Enjoy! _________________Subscribe to our Youtube Channel for more powerful conversations at the intersection of high performance, leadership, and meaning: https://www.youtube.com/c/FindingMasteryGet exclusive discounts and support our amazing sponsors! Go to: https://findingmastery.com/sponsors/Subscribe to the Finding Mastery newsletter for weekly high performance insights: https://www.findingmastery.com/newsletter Download Dr. Mike's Morning Mindset Routine! https://www.findingmastery.com/morningmindsetFollow us on Instagram, LinkedIn, and X.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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stay present and engaged with my thinking and writing. If you wanna slow down, if you wanna work smarter, I highly encourage you to check them out. Visit remarkable.com to learn more and grab your paper pro today. Okay. A few days ago, I connected with former NFL legend, Seattle Seahawk running back, Marshawn Lynch about mental health. And we connected for a live conversation on Uninterrupted's Instagram page. It was a great conversation. It's just, I mean, the gems that he dropped, the fun that we have together, it's a great conversation. And I wanted to share it with you in case you didn't have a chance to see it. The audio is a bit subpar since it's from Instagram, but the conversation

definitely makes up for it. Hope you enjoy. Okay. I'm Michael Gervais, Dr. Gervais, and we got something fun today. We got Marshawn Lynch coming on. What's up, Uninterrupted? We're having some fun today. So in honor of Mental Health Week, we're going to play with here. And so there's a legend. He doesn't, Marshawn Lynch does not need any kind of introduction. I'm a sports psychologist by trade and training and been fortunate to work in pro sports for a long time. I'll tell you what, I've never met anybody like Marshawn Lynch. So he's going to call in in a little bit. We're going to talk about the inner life. We're going to talk about how to get right from the inside out. And a big part of it about psychology is that people like Marshawn are making it cool.

He is a goat. And there's legends right now that are saying, hey, listen, if you want to be legit, you got to train the inside. You got to train your mind. And so we're going to talk about mental health. I see you, King Mello, cracking jokes already. Yeah, so we're going to talk about how sports psychology works. We're going to talk about the mental part of the game. We're going to talk about how the next generation can, you know, flourish, flat out flourish. And so make sure you get your questions rolling. Look, here goes beast mode. Here we go. All right. Coming on. Oh, look. Yeah.

What's up, Marshawn? What's up, Pimper? You get your hair fixed up for this? What? Man, get the fuck out of here. Where are you calling in from? Shit, Oakland, California. You are, I know. You're too much, man. Hey, I was just

riffing that I've been in a long time, you know, as a shrink dude, as you like to call it. Shrink dude! I've never met anybody like you, period. You hear that? I got somebody talking to me through the ring system. They think I'm breaking their house right now. Come on. Don't do it to them. I ain't going to do it to them.

Yeah. All right, so listen. So when I was talking about, like, so we're in Mental Health Month, as you recognize, and when I was thinking of all the people that we could talk to about being authentic, like coming from the real place,

there's not many people that in the thin herd of elite performance, of elite athletics that stray away from the herd to hold it true. Yeah, I believe that. That's you. I believe it. Oh, you talking about me? I thought you were saying like, man, damn. But yeah, though, I mean, I don't know.

It's hard enough being myself, so trying to pretend to be somebody else, I know that shit got to be, like, shit even probably ten times harder. But then, I mean, it just depends on, like, you know, how can you deal with yourself after that, though? Yeah, I hear that that so where did you where did you learn that though where did that come from because that that's not easy that is ridiculously hard to do i mean i think it's more so like just like with anything that uh anything that you do just like repetition and i would say that I mean, shit growing up in Oakland, it was like,

you feel me? You always, you, you, you could go and get called out. I mean, no matter what you was going to get called out about, no matter what you did. And at the end of the day, it was, it was either, you know, you own up to, you know, take ownership and, and, and who you was, you know, you own up to, you know, take ownership in and who you was, you know what I mean, or get called out for being something that you're not. And I think just over the times and over the years of just growing up in these type of environments, you feel me, it just helped me, you know, get even more comfortable in my skin than I already was. So that's the thing is that, you know, as you and I've talked about a bunch is that people are trying to fit in and figure out where they belong and the pressure to fit in and to be something

that you're not. You say that with a confused look like, damn, why would you, why would you want to do but i mean you know what i what i've seen and you know i grew up in a i grew up in a real diverse uh a real uh diverse area so i mean you know what it's a it's a fine line of uh of you know uh i would say being yourself and then just being somebody who who want to be accepted by somebody. Because, I mean, you know, you go around a couple different crowds and, you know, you kind of don't fit in here and then you go over there. And, I mean, you know, I feel it's all a process of, you know,

trying to understand, you know, who you are. But, I mean, you know, it just, I know it can get real, you know, time-consuming and emotionally draining, you know, by going out and looking for these individuals that you fit in rather than, you know, just a natural, a natural connection. And, you know, it just falling into place, which is, I mean, you know, what you've been saying to me, like more organic or, you know, authentic or, you know, however, however you want to look at it. But it means, you know, to me, it's organic or you know authentic or you know however however you want to look at it but it mean you know to me it's just you know shit just fall into place and then and then i think that

what many people wouldn't appreciate about you is that how much you care about the next generation people that know you know that and so when we're talking about mental health and we're talking about like when when i when i asked you to get on here it was like what are we doing you said i said let's talk about mental health for the next generation and you're like right so i don't think people would recognize how important like the inner life is for you you said do you said the what life inner life the inner life see look there you go dropping this shrink dude shit got to say some shit that I'm going to understand. What the hell is inner life? Hey, you know, I'm barely trying to keep up with you, okay?

Like, you make everything cool, and I'm just, like, hanging on for dear life. Nah, I doubt it. I don't see it that way. Realistically, I'm just in the way, trying to get out the way. And, you know, most of the time I run into some shit. So that's more so the situation that I'm in, though. You know what I'm talking about? Well, I think that, I don't know.

I mean, okay, so let's just do this. What do you hope for the next generation of kids when it comes to, like, I don't know, figuring out how to be free, how to live, like, without depression and anxiety and feeling like they got to be something other than like people are trying to be you. Man, the thing, what I, what I, what I notice a lot is what or what I feel. And I mean, you know, it's see with our youth right now is the fact that they have, you know, the opportunity to wake up and, you know, go on a social media platform. And they can see and be influenced by so many different, I'll say, people or things or, you know, whatever it is that influenced them. And I mean, you know, at a young age, when you're trying to come of your own

and you have so many different opportunities to see so much different shit, it can be kind of confusing. But I mean, one thing that I know that I tell my kids when I, you know, at our foundation, our youth center, and the ones that I come in contact with is all of that is cool. Like going on social media, liking this and liking that and being inspired by this and being inspired by that. But just make sure that your number one inspiration come from when you were able to wake up and look at that motherfucker in the mirror. And I'll tell them like this.

When you were able to look at that motherfucker in the mirror and you were able to say, damn, you know what? I can agree and I can love that motherfucker on the other side of that mirror and then if you pick up your phone and say well you know what i like this motherfucker with this green hair you know what i'm gonna try some green but at the end of the day that's cool but still being able to come back to the to the main source with it actually being who you are. All right. So, listen, how do you know who you are? Because that's where kids are trying to figure out. And they're looking to you, and then, you know, you've got green hair,

or you've got dreads, or you've got this, that, or the other. And I think that's the big question is, like, how do you sort out who you are? One way I did it was was i stripped myself butt naked of all my clothes of all my uh i got a watch on right now on my watch my earrings hey keep your clothes on hey keep your i'm not about to strip down butt ass naked right now i'm saying this is this is this is something that i did i I stripped myself down, butt ass naked, and I looked myself in the mirror, and I was like, you know what? I don't get another body.

You know what I mean? I don't get another face. I don't get different hands. I don't get a different, you know what I mean? My feet is my feet and i came and i came to an agreement with myself like i love this and now i mean i done been called everything i done been called ugly i done been called black i done been called fat i done been called just about everything and i and at the end of the day i just hey, hey, you know what? Fuck it. That's me.

What's happening? Hey, what's happening? I feel hella good in this thing. You feel me? Call my body, my shit. I appreciate what I appreciate. Fuck you. Fuck you.

Fuck you. Oh, you got this? Oh, you know what? That's nice. But fuck you, too. You have a good day and fuck yourself on the way out the door. You me but at the end of the day i'll be like shit shine at the end of the day i'll be like shine you you feel me how was your day today you know i had a couple months i had a couple people say some shit that i probably didn't like but you know what overall i had a great ass

day i ain't see anybody still work still able to move around and you know i i i go with that thought i go with that that self yeah self-love self-appreciation and what that costs is that don't cost nothing from from no other person from no substance from no no no outside form of nothing but besides sitting down and having a conversation with myself. And I mean, you know what, most of the time somebody say, oh, he talking to himself, that's a crazy person. No, that's the same person, probably keeping itself from going crazy on your ass. I want to tell a funny story is that because what you're saying is like

I mean it's gold it's not gold dust, it's straight to the source and this is how I hear it when it goes through my filter I go like oh he's talking about self discovery oh he's talking about knowing his core principles he's talking about knowing how to line up his thoughts

and to line up his words and his actions so he can be him anywhere he goes and i want to tell you a funny story but that's why i call you shrink dude hey listen you wouldn't even know this but we were um we're in oakland um and there was it was uh we're playing a game and there's bad people coming up. And these guys kept coming up to you and asking for pictures. And the first guy that came up, you said, nah, it's cool, man. And I was like, okay, there he goes. Like you didn't want to take a picture or sign anything.

And then these women would come up and you're like, oh yeah, okay. Let me get a picture. And these little kids will come up. You're like, oh, come here, homie. Like, let me put my arm around you and you know, you've signed whatever. And then a guy would come up and you're like, nah here homie like let me put my arm around you and you know you sign whatever and then a guy would come up you're like no i'm cool so what what was that about i never like i never sorted that out from you like what was that man it's funny that you bring that up and all my establishments i put in there like you know uh

you know beast mode take pictures take pictures with women and kids. I mean, it's just a personal preference for me. Like, I don't, I mean, I don't like taking pictures with dudes. So, I mean, you feel me? I speak all day. I'm going to be cordial. What's happening? How you doing?

Shake your hand, dap you up, all this shit. But, you know, I'd rather not. I mean, you know. I mean, and it's some some backstory to all of that which i mean you know you never know who you're taking a picture with so i mean i'd rather just you know i mean if if if that's the case i know well i ain't gonna say most women are innocent but you feel me though i mean i well i like women. So I'm on, you know what I mean? What's happening type situation. But, you know, when kids, you know, I hold their innocence and then, you know,

I do a lot for them in the community, but, you know, it's just a preference for me. I'd rather not. There you go. So I don't think people realize that they look, they look at you and like some people are like, okay, it must be amazing to be in the league. And, and it is for a lot of reasons but when you take the stress of performing in front of

70,000 people you know or the stress of knowing who you are and being authentic which one pays a greater which one is harder to do for you? It's probably harder to remain humble. Yeah. It's probably harder to remain humble. But, I mean, you know, what I feel is it's doable. And, I mean, you know, I'll say, you know, I did a great job, you know, along the way. And when I say humble, I mean not like boasting and bragging and you know all that kind of shit like that but just you know being able to be you know level

headed through you know all the situations in which you know get thrown at your way uh you know that come with you know being a uh being a quote unquote uh uh athlete superstar or whatever though yeah that's for sure it's hard I mean it's easy to get lost in that shit it's easy to get lost in it and take on a different personality and I mean you know

it can lead you down a lot of different roads but I mean I just always you you feel me? I've always been the type of individual who, who, I mean, I know, I know, I know if I go outside and I do what I need to do, everything that that that's coming to me is coming. But how many people in the process of me doing my thing,

can I bring along with me for them to be able to do their thing as well that's what what i say more so uh i get a kick out of and i mean you know just about everybody and anybody that i play with to be able to vouch for some shit like that because that was just the type of individual that i was and that just came you feel me though like i said you know growing up where i'm from you have a situation like up where I'm from, you have a situation like, uh, what's up, my T? You have a situation like, uh, uh, you know, when you going to the,

when you going to the store, and you going there, you know your folks ain't got no, you know your folks ain't got no chicken to get you, to get him nothing to eat. No, I don't, I don't understand. He don't have no money to buy him nothing. He don't have no money to buy him nothing to eat. No, I don't understand. He don't have no money to buy him nothing. He don't have no money to buy him nothing to eat.

So is it what he just sit there and watch you eat? Or what, you break him off some of what you get? Or you teach him how to get his own money? And so the next time y'all go in that store, y'all all go in there and buy y'all something to eat. And I like that situation better

than than the other two so yeah it was just it was just i just took i just had bigger bigger i would say bigger blown up um situations that i would think back to small small situations that i had growing up and i would just you know put them in that type of situation to where that's what that meant to me and i mean that's how i knew i grew that's how i grew friendships as a little jit and i mean i just continued to do that shit as i got older so it never changed so how about this marshawn um on a in a normal year about 30 percent of people in america suffer from anxiety depression kind of mental illness okay about 30 percent okay and right now with covid with people out of work with people struggling with the stressors of politics

and not knowing what's what that that number might be tripled. Tripled? Tripled. Okay. And so we're at an all-time high. Suicide, depression, anxiety, I mean crippling stuff that's taking place for people. So knowing that people are really struggling, right? What would you say is like something that you would hope they do?

Okay, one, know who you are. in the mirror that whole thing but i'm sure you felt depression i'm sure you felt anxiousness i'm sure you felt some of that stuff what would you hope that people could do to sort out some of that because maybe they don't want to go talk to a shrink maybe they don't want to you know um read a book on something but what would you hope that the young kids can do coming up well i mean this is and that's a hard situation but it's something that we that we finding out you know through our foundation where we we introduced we introduced the kids to a lot of a lot of new things and i've seen once you capture a youth mind on a level that they haven't been thinking before,

they tend to mellow out and try and figure out this new situation that they've been in. But we also created around them a safety net to where they, you know, usually when they will act out in certain situations, you know, we when they will act out in certain situations, you know, we give them an opportunity where we give them think tanks and, you know, positions

that come in and individuals, you know, that they can go and they feel that they can talk to or just amongst them, you know, building a relationship with a friend, with a friend who they take on as a family member, building a relationship with them as a family member, where they feel like they can go and let some of that pressure off. So, I mean, you know, just some of the things I know that we do, you know, with these kids and it's hands-on, I'm sure that, you know, because, I mean, you know, everybody feels it.

Everybody feels it. But at that time, like, you know, because, I mean, you know, everybody feels it. Everybody feels it. But at that time, like, you know, I know a lot of people are lacking the safety nets. You know, they're lacking the communication to actually talk about it because they're being scared. The number one thing that I learned, you know, in my journey, because, I mean, you know, I've been called. I'm not going to say called. I've been called uh i mean i'm not gonna say called i've been labeled i've been labeled uh special ed uh retarded add add adhd all them all them goddamn names that they got for kids who got uh energy and don't learn the goddamn way that they taught you to learn back in the the medieval times and sit down and raise your hand all that shit they label you as a menace basically and once you get labeled like that it's it's hard

to shake those labels and they follow you but i mean i was labeled i was labeled my whole shit i left cal with a 3.2 and was still labeled so i mean I mean, I see that. But at the end of the day, man, I really believe that it become a point in time where you just have to take responsibility as an individual and what type of life you want to live. And then at the end of the day, if you choose to live that, you know, I don't want to, I don't want to,

what's that shit? I don't, I don't want to, I want to take this road. Then you got to come to terms and say that that's, that's what you chose to do. But at what, at what point in time do it become the responsibility and, and, and take the ownership of the decisions that you make. Because, I mean, we all sitting here making decisions, but then

when we go ahead and we make that decision and if it ain't the right decision that is supposed to be that you thought you made, then you go and blame everybody for it. And, I mean, you know, I just you know, we got to take some initiative to take ownership in this shit too.

So I mean, you know, as much, as much, as much help as we give to these individuals and these youth, we also give them the opportunity to understand that it's about taking ownership and responsibilities into a lot of the decisions that you choose to, that you choose to make. Yeah, that's choose to make. Yeah, that's what's up. So how do we make, so right now you're actually maybe seven lives by saying, hey, listen, go talk to some people. It's the hardest thing, but it's the most, I swear to God, like it's the hardest thing to do.

But once you do it, to go and just say to somebody like, help, or I don't understand. It's very hard to do that. I know it because I was one of them kids. I was one of them kids. I'm too proud to ask for help.

I'm not going to go ask them for help. They're already calling me stupid. They already don't like me, this, that, and the third. And then I was just like, you know what? Fuck it. I keep on. I keep failing. You know what?

Help. I asked for help one time. It was the best thing for me. I asked for help for the rest of my life. I'm telling you, me, nigga, I left Cal with a 3.2 GPA. I'm like, shit, you got me fucked up if i could go and leave cal with a 3.2 gpa then i don't give a fuck who you is you could do it because man i'm telling you i've been labeled everything so i mean i just didn't help help you're a legend hey what's what's

the name of your foundation? Sound First Family Foundation. Why do you tell me all the time that you can do my job better than I can? You said, why can't I? No, why do you tell me that all the time, that you can do my job better than I can do my job? Because you look to give people excuses. You know, if I just wasn't so corny and as cool as you maybe we maybe we'd be on a better you know note there no i don't believe that man i see i see you i see you do a i see you do a hell of a job man and i uh but i always mess with you because while i was at school i took some

i took a couple courses so i know and then i mean I mean, you know, I deal with people on a daily and shit. So, you feel me? I mean, getting this type of information that you get on a level of where it's not coming off as I'm trying to shrink you right now. And it's more so just coming off as a natural genuine conversation is how you feel me i understood that i was doing this type of work without doing that type of work that's it yeah yeah a last thing before we jump um this mental health awareness month and um you know if we don't invest there's only three things that we can really condition and take care of in our life we can take care of our body.

We can train our craft. And we can train our mind. This is about training your mind. And so on that note is that the idea that depression and loneliness and anxiety are a human experience, you've just made it normal for people. Like, hey, it's part of the deal. Connect with somebody. Say you need some help. Be part of the community that is going to be honest with you and not label and

judge you. And then basically be able to look in the mirror. Is that about right? That's right. Hell yeah. That's real talk, big dog. That's it. So I'm going to check you out. Hell yeah, that's real talk That's it Alright, so listen

So I'm going to check you out I'm going to look and see if you put my words In the shrink dude moments What does that mean? Huh? Put all the technical The technical and the technicalities Behind all the gangster shit I just be talking about. You feel me?

Hey, what about transitioning as a pro athlete? How about it? This is something that everybody in the league goes through. That's not easy. Oh, no, it's not. It's not easy at all. And you know what? I would tell you the same thing. I would tell you the same thing. It's about keeping that

community, keeping... Realistically, man, if you got somebody to talk to, somebody that could just sit there and not even respond to you, but maybe just let you talk their ear off about some shit, man, that would probably be just a big help. And then, I mean, I know a lot of athletes, after they leave from the game, it's just like, whew, where is it coming from next? Okay, listen, part of your foundation, what I want to do is I want to,

you use it however you want, but we've got an online course that teaches people how to train their mind. And so let's figure out how to give it to some of your kids. You said what? Let's figure out how to give it to some of your kids you said what let's figure out how to give it to some of your kids you figure out how we're going to deploy it it's a um four week online course and how to train your mind and we'll figure out how to get it to in the hands of your kids oh that's it i mean we we connect after we get off the horn so that's good but hey man i'm gonna tell you like this i'm finna slide up out of here man i appreciate you having me though you seeing me appreciate you brother yep respect y'all listen to shrink dude that nigga got some gang man all right my sean what a legend i mean absolute legend being able to know, make space for us to figure out what is this lighting do?

Making space to figure out how to talk about psychology and to make it cool. And I mean, it takes legends like that to be able to change the trajectory of us. And so I appreciate you guys uninterrupted. Appreciate you, Mad Happy. Check out Mad Happy. I'm sorry. I'm not wearing my hoodie. Marshawn is an absolute goat. And so I'll tell you what, and I said this earlier, I've been in pro sport for a long time as a sports psychologist. There's no one like them. All right. Appreciate you guys all the best.

And then you can find, um, if you're interested in psychology and kind of the stuff we're doing, you can check us out over at Finding Mastery. And that's a podcast. It's all the good stuff that we're doing. Appreciate y'all. All right. Thank you so much for diving into another episode

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