Finding Mastery with Dr. Michael Gervais - The Way of the Champion: How to Win Each Day | Sport Psychologist, Dr. Jerry Lynch

Episode Date: June 19, 2024

What defines a true champion? Is it winning? Or… is it a way of living?While winning games and striving to be the best are parts of it, there's so much more beneath the surface. It’s not just about the technical skills honed through relentless practice—rep after rep, day after day. Exceptional athletes are forged through a deeper, more holistic approach.In this episode of the Finding Mastery podcast, we dive into the essence of becoming your best self with Dr. Jerry Lynch – a renowned author, guide, coach, and sport psychologist who has mentored athletes and teams across a variety of sports including basketball, lacrosse, soccer, tennis, and golf.With an impressive portfolio of 17 books (yes, 17!), including The Way of the Champion - one that I’ve handed out to more athletes and parents than any other - Jerry’s philosophy goes beyond physical training and into… you guessed it… the inner game.He emphasizes daily spiritual and emotional development, cultivating qualities like courage, resilience, integrity, and selflessness—the true hallmarks of a champion.Join us for an enlightening conversation filled with Jerry’s profound insights and practical tools. This episode is a treasure trove of wisdom for athletes, coaches, parents, and anyone aspiring to greatness. I hope you find it as inspiring and enjoyable as I did._________________Subscribe to our Youtube Channel for more powerful conversations at the intersection of high performance, leadership, and meaning: https://www.youtube.com/c/FindingMasteryGet exclusive discounts and support our amazing sponsors! Go to: https://findingmastery.com/sponsors/Subscribe to the Finding Mastery newsletter for weekly high performance insights: https://www.findingmastery.com/newsletter Download Dr. Mike's Morning Mindset Routine! https://www.findingmastery.com/morningmindsetFollow us on Instagram, LinkedIn, and X.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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We have to focus on what can we shed to get down to the real stuff. I mean, to become a master is not possible, but you can be a master every day. Okay, welcome back or welcome to the Finding Mastery podcast. I am your host, Dr. Michael Gervais by trade and training a high-performance psychologist. What does it mean to be an exceptional athlete? What does it take to be a champion? Yes, of course, winning is part of the ecosystem here.

Winning a game, winning a season. But the real goal, the real goal is to fundamentally commit to be your very best, to be the best you can be. Sounds cheesy in one way, but it is so powerful when you really metabolize the power of that approach. And one of the ways that we become our very best is, of course, through practice. Okay, there's so much more than just those ideas, but our guest on the podcast today has a really thoughtful and compelling approach. Dr. Jerry Lynch is an incredible author. He's a guide. He's a teacher. And he's grounded in sports psychology. He's mentored in basketball, lacrosse, soccer, tennis, golf, you name it. He's the author of 17 books.

Yes, 17. I love his writing. I love his approach. It's so good. He's got a favorite book of mine that I mean, I just want to highly recommend it to you. It's one of the books that I give to parents and athletes alike more than just about any other book that I give to them. It's called The Way of the Champion. He's big on practice too now. And that's really what that book is about. Daily spiritual and emotional training to support an athlete, a person, a team to be exceptional. Courage, resilience, integrity, and selflessness. The building of those things, the stuff of real champions. So with that, let's dive right into this enlightening conversation with Dr. Jerry Lynch. Jerry, it is about time that we make this happen.

I am so stoked to have you here. Let me just first start off. How are you? Well, you know, I feel the same way. I mean, to say I'm grateful for being here with you and to be able to make this difference in a world, I would be a massive understatement for me, for sure. Oh, awesome. All right. Can I jump in for a second? I know this is going to throw you off a little bit. Sure.

You know, usually, I mean, you've been on my podcast. And usually, as a host, you're really doing a lot of research on the guests that's coming in because you want to sound like you know what you're talking about, right? But what I also notice is that the guests that come on, they don't do any research about the person who's the host. And so what I found out is that if I do some more research, you've been on my podcast, I've watched 50 or 60 of your podcast. If I just knew Michael better, I think we'd have a better conversation. You know what I'm saying? That's really cool. Yeah. So what I did was my wife and I, Jay and I, last night for an hour and 23 minutes,

we watched the Valentine's Day wonderful gift that you and your wife, Lisa, gave to us. So I watched that. Unbelievable. I mean, it is. I really felt I got to know you a lot better. I mean, I've watched many of you see your podcast for sure. Let me say this. I'll say two things. Number one, if anyone out there who is listening wants to understand and learn how to be in a relationship and all that it takes by God, you've got to listen to that session. There's no doubt in my mind. You guys penetrated a profound session that just went beyond my greatest expectation. But the other thing too, is both of you, what I discovered was really emblematic of everything that I'm trying to create in a culture of athletics in terms of

relationships. And that's important. It's all about relationships, as you know, and both of you are what I call the acronym, but actually it's a Jackron and a Jerry acronym. Right. The acronym is give both of you tremendously, unbelievably authentic and genuine. The I is very inspiring to watch the both of you navigate your your marriage and what that what was entailed with that. And the V, of course, is vulnerability. Leadership without vulnerability is non-existent, right? Marriages, relationships without vulnerability is non-existent. And of course, the E is very empowering.

So I was really, I got to say, Mike, I loved what I saw and felt. And, you know, it helps me to be here with you, like in a very closer way. So how about let's get into roll? Oh, that's very cool. I mean, first, thank you. Thank you for, one, investing in working to understand, you know, who's on the other side of this conversation. That feels warm and then you know extra warmth about the kindness that you shared about the relationship that i have with my wife it is by far the relationship with my son and my wife is um it's the thing i've worked the hardest at

and so um i'm to hear you say that that's something something that I've put so much love and care into. Thank you. Yeah. Well, my wife and I were a little older, but we've been together 40, I don't know, 47 years. There you go. It's like the hero's journey up and down, all over the map, and learning every step of the way and never giving up ever, ever giving up just fighting for something bigger than both of us. And, and that came through to me loud and clear. So listeners don't listen to me so much. Listen to that, that, that section.

Listen, so you're not, you're not getting off the hook that easy. Cause I did my homework on you too, Jerry. Okay. One I've been, I've been, um, I've given your book out, uh, the way of the champion to more athletes than just about any book I've given out. And so, um, you, you are in, like you are infused in the work that I do with, um, with so many, so many folks. And it's a great book to give to parents, you know, like parents love it. So, um. So here's the homework. You've written 17 books, you're working on your 18th. And I thought what we could do is maybe just get a flyover for, let's say, just five of your books, the ones that I've really enjoyed. And I would love to challenge you in a sentence or two or three is to work or to clarify what you were going after when you

wrote it and maybe what you learned at the end of it. And like, let's just start with the book that I just mentioned, the way of the champion, uh, way of the way of the champion. OMG. Right. Uh, how many of you out there have read the art of war i mean if you're going to be a leader you're going to be a coach you've got to read the art of war but there's a problem and that is try to translate the english into uh athletic language i mean it's almost impossible uh so what i did with that book was uh my co-author on six of my books, Al Wong, uh, who is very close friends of Joseph Campbell, uh, very close friends of War, Sun Tzu's book. And what he did was he made sure that in the translation, I was able to communicate and make sense to the people who would read it. Because before then, I was going off on some wild tangent about what I thought it was.

And I couldn't have been further from the truth. So I had this wonderful, wonderful mentor who translated the work. And now I put this work together. And now what we have is we have the essence, I want to say, it's not the entire book, but it's the essence of the art of war into language that's accessible to coaches, to athletes, to moms, to dads, to young kids. I use this with high school kids. And so that was my whole idea behind that. And to say what I've learned from it, gosh, oh my gosh. Oh man, Mike, listen, I thought I knew the art of war. So the lesson for me is I might think I know a lot of this stuff, but I'm only

halfway there. And so there's so much more for me to learn. Yeah. You know what I love about that book is just how applied it's a book to read and to work. And so it's a wonderfully applied book. And so I love the application, the little sections at the end that you get us to think about things. Yeah. Well, the thing without, without implementation, it's just words and they're nice words. You know, it's like, it's like you must, you must watch Ted Lasso where you've heard of them or you've seen them. Right. I don't want to, you know, okay. So Ted Lasso in the locker room on the wall has the word belief. Everyone sees that word belief. Oh, isn't that cute? Isn't that wonderful?

But how do you go from the wall to the ball? How do you bring that belief to the field? How do you bring it further into your heart so that you feel belief? That's what this book does. It takes it from the wall to the wall, all these wonderful concepts of selflessness and gratitude. Now we implement it. And you're telling me that that really jumped off the page at you? I'm honored. I mean, that's phenomenal. Finding Mastery is brought to you by LinkedIn Sales Solutions. In any high-performing environment that I've been part of, from elite teams to executive boardrooms, one thing holds true. Meaningful relationships are at the center of sustained success. And building those relationships, it takes more than effort. It takes a real caring about your people.

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Stewart, I know, I know you're listening. I think you might be the reason that we're running out of these bars so quickly. They're incredible, Mike. I love them. One a day, one a day. What do you mean one a day? There's way more than that happening here. Don't tell. Okay. All right. Look, they're incredibly simple. They're effective. 28 grams of protein, just 150 calories and zero grams of sugar. It's rare to find something that fits so conveniently into a performance-based lifestyle and actually tastes good. Dr. Peter Attia, someone who's been on the show, it's a great episode by the way, is also their chief science officer. So I know they've done their due diligence in that

category. My favorite flavor right now is the chocolate chip cookie dough. And a few of our teammates here at Finding Mastery have been loving the fudge brownie and peanut butter. I know, Stuart, you're still listening here. So getting enough protein matters. And that can't be understated, not just for strength, but for energy and focus, recovery, for longevity. And I love that David is making that easier. So if you're trying to hit your daily protein goals with something seamless, I'd love for

you to go check them out. Get a free variety pack, a $25 value and 10% off for life when you head to davidprotein.com slash finding mastery. That's David, D-A-V-I-D, protein, P-R-O-T-E-I-N.com slash finding mastery. Yeah, it's one of the phrases that i'll use oftentimes in corporate settings is they do really good deep work and they put their their virtues and values and on the walls right and so i call it words on walls um it's not good enough it's good it's good start the next is to to be in service of those words we need to train and train our minds to be able to meet the high stress, high demands within that organization. So I love that you got after it in that way. And then let's pivot to another book

that I really enjoyed, Win the Day, which when I first saw it, I was like, wait a minute, what are we doing talking about winning a day? It know, it's like it's such a it's like the finite approach and not the infinite approach to life. And then but you don't you don't lay it out that way in any stretch of the imagination. And the subtitle is really nice. The ultimate coach's guide to build and sustain a championship culture. So I wanted to just hear it in your words, like what you're going after and what you learned, but also want to talk about the championship culture at the end. Sure. Of course, the word sustain is the operative word because many people go in and just blow the socks off of people in the corporate world or in the athletic world. But what I'm about is you want to implement it, and then you want to sustain the implementation.

Let me tell you this story. This is how this book came about. And this is how I came up with the title. I came up with it in 18 seconds. And I was visiting one of my clients, a sports team, and it was a tennis team in Middlebury College. And I walked in the very first day, this is January, little backstory, they had lost the national championship the year before. And they called me in because they lost that champ, excuse me because they lost that championship.

And so the coach wanted me to sort of come in and maybe help them to get straight about going for another championship. And I knew that was not the way to go about doing it. You don't go to win a championship. You've got to be a champion first. And then you'll become a champion. So I walked in the room and all the young athletes are all, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We got to go. We'll beat them. We'll crush them. We'll do this. And that's what we want to do. So help us to get there. And I thought to myself, wait a minute, this energy isn't working. You can't win the championship in June now. There's no way. And you can't make that a plan.

What you have to do is plan this. How are you going to win the day and get up in the morning and win the day again, and then win it again, and win it every day until you get up on the morning of June 3rd and then win the day then. And so winning the day is different than winning a championship. Winning the day, right? It's like doing all the little things, all the necessary essential absolutes, I call them. Like I have a list over here of 10 items, Mike. And those 10 items at the end of the day, I want to have a checkmark next to those 10 items. And if there's a checkmark next to seven of the 10, I've won the day. So in that room, I said to them, let's win the day. What are the top 10 items that you can do in your life? And now this is for people who aren't even

athletes. What can you do? Or how do you need to be even more importantly, at the end of the day, so that you can be on the track of being the greatest you can be, you know? And, and so they came up with a list of 10 and they stuck with it. They stayed right with it every single day. And then they made alterations from time to time and they made changes, which was wonderful to suit the culture that they were having. They wound up winning the national championship that year. Awesome. Applied.

Simple. So let me double click here. 10 seems like a lot. I would love to know why you came up with that number. And then the 10, I know that most people might reflexively want to know what the 10 are for you. I am, that's interesting, but I'm much more interested in how you came to, to, to commit to those 10. So can you just talk to me about the number 10? And then

can you talk to me about the process that you came to come up with your 10? Sure. Yeah. Well, the number 10, I mean, everyone will admit, uh, it's a nice round number. You know, when you look at any kind of list, it's top 10, isn't it? It's not the top nine or it's not the top 11. You know, it's usually the top 10. Well, I went to 10 instead of the top five because the top 10, I'll go to top five. That's a nice round number two, but the top 10 seems to be more encompassing.

It covers many spokes on the wheel. And you're the hub. And these spokes are directions that you want to the place. We had the 10 commandments. Why 10? I don't know, Jerry, just for fun, I want to share while we're in this conversation, my personal philosophy, the statement that guides my thoughts, words, and actions more than any other statement alone is every day is the opportunity to create a living masterpiece and so i've got my set of non-negotiables and that that helped me line up towards what um my my imagination right now allows me to to understand what a living masterpiece is and so when you talk about winning the day being your very best today i'm calling that a living masterpiece and today's an opportunity for. And I've got some non-negotiables as well. So I do want to talk about, like, how did you come to those 10? Yeah, well, first of all, let me just say I love that statement.

Oh, yeah, cool. Yeah, it's very cool. You know, just that whole idea. This is not negotiable. It's like, sorry, I'm not going to change that. That's an attitude. You know, that's almost like a Brooklyn attitude. I'm from Brooklyn, New York. That's where I was born and raised. And we have those kinds of attitudes inside of us. We might not be the most talented

people and the most brilliant people, but you know, basically what we do is we never give up and we just, we just say, you know, there's no, no, I'm not changing that. Why? Because it's that important. So what's important to me personally is not important to you, although it might illuminate, shed some light on kind of how you, you might want to think about being in your life. And, and so I'll share, I'll share stuff with you like that. But what, what I'm doing is I'm looking at the wheel of life. And, and so I'll share, I'll share stuff with you like that. But what, what I'm doing is I'm looking at the wheel of life and on that wheel, there's the, uh, there's the personal stuff. There's the professional game, right? There's the relationship

game or the social stuff. There's the, uh, spirituality, the spiritual life. There's the nutritional life. There's the physical life, you know, every day being physical, doing something that nurtures. And so we have all of these items, we can do things under that umbrella, which allows us to feel good. And what I do in life is I try to feel good as much as I can and have what I call elevated emotions. These elevated emotions of being optimistic, feeling valued, helping other people to feel valued. I have all of these items in my mind that I want to create an environment amenable to connection, caring, love, empowering others. And we can go off on that in a little bit. But in terms of these 10 items, 10 is just something that I've come up with. And they have to do with all of these spokes on the wheel that I mentioned. So spirituality, every day I have a meditation practice. You know, I sit right over here. Sometimes that takes place

in the morning. Sometimes it takes place at the end of the day. But at least once, you know, I'm involved in a meditation process. What type of meditation are you practicing right now? It's a Vipassana breathing, simple meditation of going to a place where I can feel whatever's happening and pay attention to it. And then what I do with that meditation is it's in two parts. And the second part is actually recreating. People talk about, as a sports psychologist yourself, the idea of visualization. I call it feelingization.

Yeah, I don't use the word visualization because it's one-dimensional. I just call it imagery to conjure up all of the senses. And so feelingization is awesome. Yeah, we are looking for the feeling of being a certain way. Yeah, a thousand percent. You have to feel what it's like to be a certain way. Yeah, you don't see it. You feel it. So I spend part of the meditation practice in feeling elevated emotions and taking them into my body. version of myself and the person that I can be to make, to be kind, to be grateful. It's all about

being and to be available, to be conscious, to be, and there's a feeling that one gets. If I ask anybody listening to this broadcast and I say, how does it feel to be giving? How does it feel to be aware? How does it feel? So I spend time feeling that way and marinating my nervous system in that feeling process, which goes along with clearing the mind and understanding that my meditation is for you as much as it is for me, because I'm bringing into the meditation my relationship with Jan. She's coming home from work. She's a physician. She works very hard every day, and then she comes home from work. My office is in the home. And so I actually feel that interaction when we come home. And it usually turns out to be very positive and upbeat. Now, sometimes it's not. Usually.

Yeah. It's not exactly the way I'm visual. But anyway, so the meditation is a crucial part of it. Reading is an important part. And by meditation, reading, look, I'm realistic. I have a lot of work I'm doing. And so maybe I meditate for 10 minutes. Or maybe I read for 15 minutes, but I've always got at least two or three books going so that I can keep stimulated in my mind and keep moving forward. Your book, I couldn't put down. I sat down with that thing and it was like an hour and a half late. I'm saying, oh my God, I got to get back to my work. I can't be doing this every day. Jerry, you say that to everybody that's written a book. I cannot say that. And I've told you that. I know you did. I know. I said to you, I said, it's just filled with such nuggets of wisdom taken from all sources.

But basically, what the listener needs to know is you can do these 10 things. You don't have to spend an hour on each one. That's 10 hours of your day. My God, we got other things to do too. So what I do is I'll meditate. If I have a half hour, I'll do a half hour. We have a beautiful hot tub here. I can look at the stars. I'll go out there at night and maybe that's my meditation. And I'm sitting in the hot tub for 15, 20 minutes and I'll meditate for 15, 20 minutes. But meditation and reading and then these other

things is so it might my diet. I it's so important to uh to to be aware of nutrition so that uh so that you can feel the chi you know in the dantian and feel your energy and and feel like you're really alive and vibrant each day okay so on let's stay with the meditation for one more beat here is that you're structuring it into in two ways or two that you're hydrating. And I'm wondering if you open up any of the more prickly, more difficult, sometimes more electric of the emotions. Well, you're talking about some real challenges here. And these emotions that you're describing to me, the way I open up to them, Mike, quite honestly, is I welcome them into my life. That might sound bizarre, but these are wonderful opportunities.

I mean, say what you want, but these obstacles, setbacks, challenges, annoyances, whatever you want to call them, yes. But in a way, for me, they are the way. They're the way of, okay, so my mission in life is to make a difference. And my other part of that mission is to be a better version of myself. I want to be the best person I could be in order to do that. I've got to be challenged. So I welcome the challenge as much as I might not want it. But what I do is I look at that obstacle and I say, I'm building resilience. I'm building grit. I'm building fortitude. I'm building perseverance and I'm strengthening that part of my being. Yeah. One of the ways I do it is when you say I need to be challenged, I need skills because I've got so much radical challenge in my life. I need the skills to be able to back it up,

to be about it on a consistent basis. And when I say it, I want to pause that for a moment or pin that for a moment. So with these prickly, scratchy, reflexively wanting to avoid emotions, what I'm doing right now is I'm simply saying, okay, let me feel an emotion. So I'm not doing elevated and shadow. I'm just saying what emotion is available me feel an emotion. So I'm not doing elevated and shadow. I'm just saying what emotion is available to me right now. And then I just, I go, oh, okay, it's happiness. And I go, wait, is there anything else? Before I just kind of go into happiness.

And I'll say, oh, I was just kind of fooling myself there. There's some sadness in here. And then I just want to learn how I do sadness. And so I follow it. I feel it. I watch it. I see the thoughts. I notice the images that come with it.

And so now if I'm more skilled in a very calm, safe environment in my home on how to do sadness, as soon as it gets hard or how to do anxiety or how I do nervousness or whatever, as soon as it gets more electric and more challenging, I've built some skill. Like I'm better at it. And that part for me on the meditation, I don't want to, you know, cold showers, cold immersion or that last difficult rep in the gym or zone two kind of crunchy cardio. I don't love any of those, but I love how I'm

able to be more eloquent in the moments that once challenged me. And these are the ways I'm doing it. So how are you doing some of the scratchy emotions? Like really, how are you doing it? At the moment? Yeah. How are you practicing them? I never do the spiritual bypass. It's an opportunity spiritually. And the spiritual bypass, I never do the spiritual bypass. Finding Mastery is brought to you by Momentus. When it comes to high performance, whether you're leading a team, raising a family, pushing

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Wait, let's make sure we're talking about the same thing. Spiritual bypass is like taking some high ground? No. Is that the bypass? What is a bypass? Bypass is the easier way out. Yeah, that's what I was saying or thinking the same thing. I want to stare these prickly beasts right in the eyes. I want to look at them right in the eye. I'm not going to run away from them because they're real. I have a thing.

Let me come back to that spiritual bypass in a second. But the other thing that happens to me with those prickly things is I wake up at 2 o'clock in the morning. Waking up at 2 o'clock in the morning for a lot of people is annoying. And what they do is they say they can't sleep and they're awake from two to six to get out of bed. So they take medication so they can sleep all through the night. For me, waking up at two o'clock in the morning is night school. That's what I call night school. I'm waking up for a reason, Mike. There's something going on that's not right

in my life. And I need to attend to it. So I need to go to class. I need to learn about that. And I'm in an alpha state when I wake up. I'm not waking up like, oh, wow, you know, let's go for a run. It's like you wake up and you were dreaming and now you're awake and your eyes are open. And now you're becoming fully awake and you're thinking about what's going on in your life. That's the time. That's the nugget. That's the place where I avoid the spiritual bypass. What it does, it gives me the opportunity to take a deep dive into what's going on in my life. What is happening with my relationship with Jan right now? Why am I awake?

I'm awake because I'm not attending to something that's really important. That's why I'm awake. And by the way, I believe this about everybody. I believe that people's, a lot of the difficulty with sleeping at night is because people have things on their mind that they need to resolve. And the body's natural way of giving you that opportunity is waking up when everything else around you is quiet and you're not busy going to work and navigating traffic and all of this and worrying about dinner and cooking and the kids and

blah, blah, blah. What happens is now you have that quiet time. You either face it or you don't. And the spiritual bypass is taking the pill. That's the bypass. Or even so, coming home from work, having your martini, the spiritual bypass. Medication, drugs, self-medication. I just won't do it. And I think a lot of the world is self-medicating.

And I think there are some things that we need to look at. So back to your original point, all these- Wait, wait, wait, before, don't, I hope you don't lose your train of thought there. Yeah. Okay. I hear what you say, and then I have this other hit in my mind, which is like, well, somebody with a sleeping disorder, I'm not sure that the spiritual bypass or

whatever the non-bypass is, or doing the spiritual work will alone solve the, I don't know, disordered sleep or the sleeping disorder. So are you putting a tall flag in the ground saying that, no, no, no, medication is not an okay remedy for medical disorders? I'm not saying it's not okay, but to me, it's the last resort. We've got to examine what the other messages might be and take a look at it and have the awareness of mind to be open to looking at what this could possibly be. And then all things said, there could be something else that's going on that's connected to something else that we can't see. And for clarity, I'm aligned with you. Both of us are trained psychologists we're going to point to the best practices of mind body emotion work and it and if we're not doing that and we're we're looking for the easy fix um and we know we

know we know this from research this is not you and i just kind of making this up right now we know from uh meta-analysis over meta-analysis that medication alone without psychotherapy is not considered a best practice. And so any psychotropic or dah, dah, dah, dah. So the combination can be great. And both of us are probably going to point to give yourself a chance to do some of this work. And maybe you can even do it before you're in a full-blown crisis. Maybe today. How about that? Maybe today. Yeah. Let's come back and win the day. Maybe if you're doing those top 10 items or top seven or five or whatever, let's not go back to the number, but maybe if you're doing that top 10 or set several essential ingredients on that top 10 list, maybe you do sleep well. Maybe you're not anxious.

Maybe you're not. I mean, when I'm doing those 10 things, I don't have any, what I call his, another acronym pads, P-A-D-S. I don't, I bypass that by doing the things that I'm supposed to do to win the day. You know, I feel a lot less pressure, P. The A is anxiety. I rarely feel like really high level anxiety when I'm doing the 10 items or the five items or whatever. I don't feel, I rarely feel depressed, if ever. It's been a long time since I felt that feeling of depression. And the last thing is stress. The stress is really, you know, in a job, in work situation, the stress that you feel is enormous. But if I'm exercising and I'm going out for my morning run, I'm finishing up the day with a hot bath or a hot shower or whatever it is, and maybe a meditation in midday,

and I'm doing a little bit of reading, and I take some control over my life and my relationships, I'm putting energy into my relationships so that I increase the love factor and I really feel it and it's palpable like I felt it with you and Lisa on that broadcast. Yeah, you're going to minimize the chances of those things happening. So we have control. We can win the day. And it's one day at a time. It's one step at a time. And it's never ending. It's ongoing. It's like with the concept of mastery. To me, you know, when I listen to you and mastery, it's lovely. I mean, it's just because I really feel people feel a lot more relaxed about it. I mean, to become a master is not possible, but you can be a master every day. And you talk about a masterpiece and that plays right in with that. So it's a daily vigil, all right, a daily vigil of being aware of the essential ingredients that we must pay attention to so that we can live a full life that day.

It might not be longer, but it will be wider. What do you do when you don't win the day, but the day wins? Oh, that's awful. I don't like the day winning. Neither do you. No one likes that. The day takes over. You got to go to bed. Start again. Get up in the morning and do it all over again.

I did something. I didn't win the day. Hopefully, this is going to win the day, you and I today. But I got up in the morning and something happened and Jan and I got into a tiff together. And, you know, the day was rapidly going downhill. You know, it wasn't a very good scene. And so I have a choice. I can run away from that and be stubborn or I can just say, you know what, I'm sorry. That's on me. That's my fault. I, I, I could have done better with that. And, and then all of a sudden love appeared and, and, and it was beautiful. It was wonderful. And, and I'm not a person who gets into the woo, you know, and you know, I feel love. And, and, and so that's what I want. So what I did was to win the day and get back on target.

I did something. But if it's the end of the day. I must have not been very vigilant during that day if I feel like the day took over for me. By that time, it's it's too late. So the best thing to do is say, you know what? That wasn't a very good day. I did not do a good job with that one. I need to get through this night now and get a good sleep, get up in the morning and commit to beginning again. Okay. So on your list of 10, are those controllables? Are you listing things that are 100% under your control?

100%. Okay. So that's a first gate to get through, right? So you've got the model of the wheel of life. Then you've got maybe one or two for each of the sub factors there. And each one of those is 100% controllable. And then do you put specific language to it, like X number of minutes of meditation, or is it meditate? No, no, no, no pressure there. I don't want to orchestrate a script. There you go.

I want to have a roadmap. And are you approaching life more like Aikido or more like karate? Wow. I would guess I know more about Aikido and I tend to think that way and that's why I'm attracted to it. I believe it's an Aik and and that feels that feels really good to me mine is definitely my approach is definitely um aikido you know and just just to be clear aikido is um using the energy that's presented using the opportunity that the other person um in the martial the in the in in the fight is presenting and using that presented energy towards an opportunity for you to regain leverage or to stay in a position of

power as opposed to karate, one is not right or wrong, is more right angles, stopping the blows, stopping, like putting your fist, arms, legs in a position to stop the energy that's coming in or the strike that's coming in. And listen, both are philosophically grounded in an approach and they've got a requisite set of skills that they teach. I like Aikido a bit more. Judo and Aikido have a more similar vein than some of the other ones. So anyways, one of the things I do want to ask you about is you've talked about being your very best. And are you approaching it as more like Michelangelo, where there's this big block of marble and David is inside of it and it's already there?

Or is it another way that you're going at being your very best, which is when I have more skill, when I have a better sense of how to manage myself, then I'll be able to, it's out there. My best version is out there based on the skills that I need to acquire to be just a little bit better. It's real clear to me. I don't have to give much thought to that at all. It's, it's, it's sculpturing. It's, it's, it, the essence is inside the best version of myself is here.

I need to shed. I need to get past the blockages. I need to create environments that allow me to come out. I need to be able to take the mask off because when I take the mask off, you really see the essence and feel the essence of who I am. You know what I mean by that? You know, like the mask to me is, especially in our profession, Mike, you know, there's so many masks. You mentioned I have 17 books. That could be a mask. I could stand behind that. I can get up on a podium any day and stand behind the podium and the audience is out there and I'm speaking to the audience or at the audience even.

And here's Dr. Lynch, author. He's been part of 130 championship teams or more. Those are all masks. I can't connect with people like that. The real Jerry, the essence of who I am is get rid of all that stuff. Like, like, I don't want to connect with you today with my professional hat and then your professional hat. Oh my God, how am I going to measure up to that? Right. And so we never, we, yeah, seriously, we never connect, you know, and, and what I want to do is take off that mask and the journey of being the best version of myself, it's inside, let it out, let it be, take off the mask and, and, and, and be vulnerable, you know, look, look silly, say silly things, you know, not have to be perfect for Michael, you know, not having to say the right exact things. You know, I can't worry about your opinion of me. You know, I love you and your way of looking at life. I do. And that's one of the reasons I'm here. And your opinion matters because, you know, you've been in the

trenches. You've, you've, listening to you and Lisa, you guys have gone through some stuff. You know, you, you, you have sweat on your face, you know, the man in the arena, right? I, your opinion matters, but ultimately I want to take my mask off and just be you know I don't want a script I I want my character to come out and so for so many years we go through these motions to to collect things to put on ourselves so we get higher and bigger and wider so now we're this giant and we've lost a lot we we've lost the connection of the heart i want to connect my human heart with your human heart and the only way to do that is forget about all these books forget about all that stuff and just see that's what i loved about that interview with that brings me

right back to there you were being you you and her you, you were a little nervous. I love that. You know, we're being a little scared. I love that. Why? Because that's Michael, you know, Mike, that's you that, you know, put the mask on and all the things and people like, Oh my God, can't connect to that. So becoming the best version of oneself, we have to, we have to focus on what can we shed to get down to the stuff, the real stuff. transition and wind down. And that's why I've built intentional routines into the way that I close my day. And Cozy Earth has become a new part of that. Their bedding, it's incredibly soft, like next level soft. And what surprised me the most is how much it actually helps regulate temperature. I tend to run warm at night and these sheets have helped me sleep cooler and more consistently, which has made a meaningful difference in how I show up the next day for myself, my family, and our team here at Finding Mastery. It's become part of my nightly routine. Throw on their lounge pants or pajamas, crawl into bed under their sheets, and my nervous

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I love how you've just articulated a fundamental philosophy in your life about sculpting you know about um bringing yourself forward that is what that's why i want to help people and myself included in people to train so flippin hard on the psychological development so that that can happen i you know what i call excellence now jerry um the ability to be at home with yourself wherever you are. Well, the kind of nugget that you came out with in that book of yours that, whoa, wait a minute. So I had to stop and write those things down. That's a beautiful. Yeah.

Yeah. Isn't that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's cool. So you are eloquently and historically very, you've got a body of work about your approach to mastery, that you're not interested in getting on the path. The path is mastery is an insight that you've shared with me. I'm inspired by that as well.

And so this is what I wanted to have you on. Maybe, can you take us home with, not for this whole conversation, just a segment here. What does it mean to win the day? Winning the day is in a word, intentional. If I don't have intention, when I get out of bed, the day starts going in a different direction. So my intention getting out of bed is very simple. Make the bed. That's my intention.

What's the next intention? Go down and feed the cats. Feed the cats. Get my hot water and lemon and get Jan's hot water and lemon. Come back to the bedroom and talk and connect for 15, 20 minutes. How was your night? How was the sleeping? How do you feel today? I know yesterday was a rough day checking in. That's intention. So winning the day is an intentional on purpose, vision driven exercise. By vision, we have to keep going back to that idea of how do I want to feel?

And how do I want to be? I don't have to do anything back to that idea of how do I want to feel and how do I want to be. I don't have to do anything to win the day. That's a real relief. I have to be a certain way. I have to be kind. I have to be grateful. I have to be generous. I have to be aware. And it's B, B, B, B, B, B. And so that requires intention. And that's a purpose. That gives me purpose and meaning. I love that we're talking about this because I didn't know this. I didn't know how you're thinking about it. But for years, I've been sharing a morning mindset routine with, that I've been doing privately and doing with, you know, world-class performers that it's a fourth, four-step process before you get out of bed. And one of those four steps is to be, you're still in bed, sheets are still on. And this thing takes like 90 seconds,

is to use your imagination, to be very clear about your intention for the day and then drill in with seeing it. So you get the intention. What is my intention? That's like a word or a phrase or something, and then drill into at least one moment, just one moment that you can see yourself being in alignment with that intention. And, anyone wants to go get a full version of that, I'll put the link. We've got a link and I'll send it to you, Jerry, as well. I'd love for you to take a look at it. But findingmastery.com forward slash morning mindset

is a nice little audio descriptor of how to do that. Yeah, I'll send it to you. I'll definitely send it to you. Okay, Awesome. Can I send you something too? Yeah, please. What if I send you my list of 10 things? I'd love that.

That I have intentionally set up each day as a reminder. And then you play with that. I love that. Yeah. Thank you. And yeah. And we'll, if you've got any resources, we'll put them in the show notes as well.

A hundred percent. Yeah. All right. So let, let's go into, I want to go into your latest book, the champion teammates. And so Jerry,

when you came out with the title, I was like, damn it. You know, smiling of course, because for years I've been talking about, um, I'm, I'm fatigued by the thought of, of creating great teams. I am fatigued by that thought. It is so simple to, to, to miss the mark and the mark is, is helping people be great teammates to each other yeah and then when you have great teammates you end up having a great team and when you had the title i was like good for you jerry like right we need that and i wish i had the title i wish i would so well done mate well done i came up with part of that title but a big reason why this book came

about was also my co-author on that book it was the first book I started to co-author again after about nine books. And John O'Sullivan, you know John, you've met him. Ah, John's great. Yeah, John is wonderful. And so it was a wonderful, wonderful experience of love between the two of us. And thank you for your comment on that. It's probably doing better than almost any other book that I've written at this point in time. It hasn't been out for a year. What makes a great teammate? you've worked with teams. I've worked with teams. One of the problems I've always had with teams, with athletes, and I've been part of the recruiting process in college for major

universities and pro teams. Do we want this athlete on our team on and on and on? And what's going to make a good teammate? And how do you recruit a good teammate. So many people are so concerned about getting. So typical scenario is a young athlete comes to the university for a visit, sits down with the coach. The parents are usually there. I've been very blessed to be part of meetings like this. And I'm astounded at how many parents and how many kids are asking the wrong question. The wrong question is, what can I get here? You know, will I get playing time? Will I be able to start? I've been a star on my team for the last four years. What's the scholarship money like? What can I get, get, get, get? Wrong question. You get a kid to come to the school and say, coach, I want to give you everything I've got

to make this a better program. What are the things that you feel that I can give so that I can make note of that? And when I come here, this is how I'm going to be. It's all about giving and giving gets tied into the whole idea of being selfless. And I think being a good teammate, if there's one umbrella, now there are many in this book, I mean, quite honestly, I reread this book and I don't usually reread my books. And I was like, wow, did we write this? I can't believe it. But there are so many items in this book about giving selflessly,

embracing the work, winning the day, of course, sweeping the shed. The umbrella for all of it is service. When you think of a great teammate that you've spent time with, of all the teams and athletes that you've supported and challenged to be their very best, what athletes come to mind for you? Or is there an athlete that rides above all of them that you're like, this one was different. This one was really special when it comes to being a teammate.

Boy, there's so many. Do you like to have names of people? I mean, if it's public, if it's fun to talk about, for sure. And, you know, not necessary, but. Yeah. Well, so many, gosh, I have to switch gears and start thinking of individual names. Jen Adams comes to mind. Now, you might not know who Jen Adams is or you might. She's from Australia. She played with Maryland, University of Maryland, women's lacrosse. And we won seven consecutive national championships there. And she was part of four of them. And I can remember, I call her the awesome Aussie. She gave till she bled. I mean, really. She's now coaching. She's coaching at Loyola University in Maryland. But that woman, that young woman, was all about giving. She didn't want to have to score. She didn't want

to have to get playing time. She just got it because of the way she was. She was constantly looking for ways to give to her team. Give, give, give. Love, love, love. Selfless as can be. And the hardest worker you'd ever see on the field in practice. And she's often compared to, she's often referred to as the Michael Jordan of women's lacrosse. Now that's quite a compliment. There was, in her day, there was, and that was in the late, mid, late seventies, excuse me, nineties, 96, 97, 98, something like that. I'm forgetting the exact

dates. And what people loved when they watched her was her selflessness, how much she gave to her team. Like you could see it when a kid would score a goal, she was the first one to that person To congratulate her Or to celebrate At the end of practice She was out there picking up cones In the locker room I walked in the locker room one day And here she is

Alone Picking up crap And junk that's been thrown on the floor By her teammates And I said, can I help you do that? She said, I got it, thanks Jerry picking up crap and junk that's been thrown on the floor by her teammates. And I said, can I help you do that? She said, I got it. Thanks, Jerry. And, and so she, she wound up being all American, the best ever in the game at that time. Now some have come to bypass her in scoring,

but Jen Adams is by far the Michael Jordan experience that I've had with lacrosse. Finding Mastery is brought to you by iRestore. When it comes to my health, I try to approach things with a proactive mindset. It's not about avoiding poor health. This is about creating the conditions for growth. Now, hair health is one of those areas that often gets overlooked until your hair starts to change. That's when people pay attention. That's why I've been loving iRestore Elite.

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What you're pointing to is the psychology of athletes and parents and families saying, how much are you going to pay me? How much playing time will I get? What do I get out of this? Because I got four other universities that are offering me A, B, and C. So what do you, university, have for me? And I think this is, I don't know for sure, but I think this is one of the reasons legendary coach Nick Saban has retired. Because there's probably a lot of reasons,

but this is one of them at least that he's articulated, is that he didn't like the way that the tide has shifted. It's hard. It's really difficult. And being around for the last 45 years and seeing that change and that shift, it's very difficult to see because it plays right into the selfishness. It really brings out that part. If you have any tendency toward being selfish, that will happen. But of course, there are many sides to the same picture, right? And athletes have been used by universities from time forever. national championships forever into Alabama where Nick coached and never getting anything out of that. And they get an education and they get free tuition and what have you. But anyway, yeah.

Now, I want to speak right to the listener right now. If you're an athlete getting recruited or if you're looking for a new job, or your kids are getting recruited in any endeavor, what you're talking about, this is a great lens to set yourself apart, to demonstrate that you are wanting to bring yourself to an endeavor. What can I contribute? How can I help this program get better? What is it that you're valuing to create something special here? And how can I give and pour into that? This is Jerry. This is awesome. When you, as an athlete, listen, when you listen to what Mike just said, I've been in that room with coaches, staff, and athletes and parents. And I

know that every coach in this country, raise your hand if you don't agree with me and you're not going to see any hands, that you want an athlete who is giving, who comes to give and make your program a better program. And if you walk into a room, you said, how can I contribute? I want to give to this program, my heart and soul. OMG, you're recruited. There's no question in my mind. You got to have the physical talent. Let's be clear. But this is a separate, this is a separate room without the physical talent. For sure. That's how it works. Yeah. Yeah. Jerry, I, um, just for fun, I had, it was over a decade ago and I was, um, I was doing a project with a head coach and, um, we were both speaking to an audience and we're backstage and we both had some energy and I could tell, you know, he was geared up and I was geared up and,

um, a little bit extra. And I was going, I was going out first and he looked at me right before we're going, you know, as a going up those five steps to get to the platform, to the stage. And he says, give him your heart, Mike. And I looked at him. I just like everything in that moment changed for me. And I was like, Oh, that is so simple. And so I have, of course I have all the information. Like it's not, it's, you know, that's not the issue. Give them your heart, Mike. It is one of the most beautiful things that I've been able to share with athletes and people that are presenting or whatever, give them your heart. So if I can comment, first of all, you and I are drowning in a sea of information. And I, I was hoping that this conversation went in the direction it did.

That was my, that was my intention. And that was my vision. And it happened. And I didn't want to do an information thing. Tell me this, tell me that, that's, that's doesn't go anywhere. But this, the essence of this giving of the heart is so crucial. I will tell you that every room that I've ever walked in filled with athletes, the very first time we never, ever talked about mental strategy, mentalness mental anything emotional this emotional that

i spend the first two maybe close to three hours building relationships and in order to that's why that's why i watched you and and lisa to be honest i wanted to get a closer relationship with you by hopefully finding out something inside more than I did on a podcast, perhaps. And I did. And the kids in the room, I say kids affectionately, I spend that, let's just say the first hour getting to know them, them getting to know me. It's a relationship game. When I asked Steve Kerr one day, this is about a year ago, I said, you know, Steve, when you won that… Coach of the Seattle, or I'm sorry, coach of the Golden State Warriors. Well, you've had a long time with Seattle.

I can understand why that came out. But here's the deal. Yeah, coach of the Warriors in Golden State. I said, what was the most important game you won on the road to that championship in 2015? And I thought he was going to say, well, you know, we were in Cleveland and we were down two to one and they had us around the neck and, and, or, or the one that the game, they were down three, one OKC Oklahoma City, and we had to win that game. None of that. None of that, Mike.

He said the most important game that we won that year, that I won, was the relationship game. And that's it. And you'll get, for those who are wondering, all the iconic coaches that you admire and all the great coaches you've ever experienced, they'll say the same thing. It's all about the relationship game. In this podcast, it's all about the relationship between you and I, Mike. It is. If we don't have a relationship where there's respect, caring, where you feel important and I feel valued and you feel empowered and I feel empowered, if we don't have that kind and respect it, if we don't have that, this is going nowhere, we might as well just not have a habit. Right? I know it turns into the tactics and the hacks and the tricks and the tips.

And right here, it's the heart, you know, just give them your heart. So today in my, I did a meditation this morning and I finished the meditation. True, true words. I said, just give Mike your heart. And that's it. I'm not, I'm not trying to give you information. I'm not trying to do anything other than you're a great human being. And I want to connect on that level and heart to heart. And we know all the other stuff. That's stuff. I think that sports are about 10 years ahead of big business and best practices to bring the best

out of people. And it might sound weird, but a trained sports psychologist, you know, talking about psychology and business, but this is where relationships and outcomes are at a crosshair is that it is about relationships. And in that is how we become our best version, our relationship with ourself, relationship with other people, relationship with experiences. And so this is fun to have this conversation with you. I love it. And I want to give you three quick hits as we're rounding home base here or rounding third base here. Wow.

So will you, in just a sentence or two? Okay. Hot seat. It all comes down to? Connection. Living the good life is marked by? Love. Success is?

Being. Okay, so I'm going to follow up here. The key to success is presence in the moment. I love it. And then this is going to be a tough one. How do you define mastery? Wow. Okay.

So mastery, One of my mentors was George Leonard. God bless him. He wrote a book called Mastery. And in that book, he said, if I can quote him correctly, I don't know. He said, mastery is the mysterious process, which is at first difficult, but yet it becomes easier with time. I see mastery and it's all the same thing. It all comes back to this. It is the path. It's being on the path. Winning the day is today on the path. That's mastery. I don't, I'm not on the path to get to any place, mastery. I'm being on the path now. Mastery, it's about giving something extra. It's going the distance, giving that extra bit. I don't think mastery is possible unless you have passion, love, and joy. I can't imagine someone wanting to master something and they don't have the love and the passion and the joy. But mastery is like, you know, it's like the river. You know, I see the river. Oh, by the way, river is a very important image in my life.

We probably don't want to go down that road now. It'd take a little while, but it's water, and water is the Tao. The Tao is called the water courseway. But I see mastery as the river. If you look at a river, oh, my gosh, you know, it widens and slows down. It narrows and goes fast it actually you know from the air if you look at the Mississippi River or the Colorado River for that matter and I've done this it actually makes a 180 degree turn and if you're sitting in the river in a kayak and you feel like you're going backwards you feel like you're going back to where you started that's

kind of like mastery isn't it it's like you get that feeling sometimes that you're in you're going backwards. You feel like you're going back to where you started. That's kind of like mastery, isn't it? It's like you get that feeling sometimes that you're going backwards and what's happening to me. But basically, the whole thing is, to me, mastery is time in the saddle. It's time in the saddle, like a cyclist would say. And it's a slow. The Japanese have a have a concept that I believe you're familiar with, and it's called Kaizen, Mike. And Kaizen is that wonderful, slow, gradual, incremental. Progression in a and these are key words in a safe environment because you can't if the environment doesn't feel safe if you're looking over your shoulder and worried about failure or making a mistake i mean you you can't you can't go that route but this this concept of kaizen is what the japanese used from complete devastation nagasakiasaki and Hiroshima during the Second World War.

In 10 years, talk about mastery, they were on a path and that path was Kaizen. And that Kaizen was a daily, slow, incremental, as George Leonard said, difficult yet became easier path of being the number one auto industry developer in the world, electronic industry number one in the world from devastation. So mastery, you know, we don't become masters. We are masters already when we do the win the day approach and we figure out the essential absolutes, which each day we go to bed at night, put our head on a pillow and say, now that was a fine day. And today was a fine day with Dr. Jerry Lynch. Thank you, my friend. Thank you so much. And where can we direct people to follow along to be part of your community? much social media like Facebook and I've been very tempted to go and get on to some other social platforms. But I just don't. So I would say wayofchampions at gmail.com. I would answer every email at some point. And that's about it. Jerry, I appreciate you. Thank you for what you've

created and introduced to us. And I've loved this conversation. Thank you. I love it as well. And thank you. I'm so honored to be with you, Mike. Thanks. All right. Thank you so much for diving into another episode of Finding Mastery with us. Our team loves creating this podcast and sharing these conversations with you. We really appreciate you being part of this community. And if you're enjoying the show, the easiest no-cost way to support is to hit the subscribe or follow button wherever you're listening. Also, if you haven't already, please consider dropping us a review on Apple or Spotify. We are incredibly grateful for the support and feedback. If you're looking for even more insights, we have a newsletter we send out every Wednesday. Punch over to findingmastery.com slash newsletter to sign up.

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