Fine Dining - A Suit of Pokemon Cards: Technically Meeting the Dress Code at Mastro's Ocean Club

Episode Date: July 12, 2023

The boys experience actual Fine Dining for once! The You-Must Bowl forces Michael to wear a suit made entirely of Pokémon cards to Mastro's Ocean Club Garrett details the history of Mastro's in Resty Fact Round-Up (Yeehaw!) Learn about Japanese vs. American wagyu, and the different classifications of beef grading Hands-down the greatest service experienced so far on this podcast Romantic music puts Michael and Garrett in a mood JUB will recalibrate your ratings scale Alcohol served with...interesting implements  Music by: James McEnelly (@Ramshackle_Music) Theme Song by: Kyle Schieffer (@JazzyJellyfish) We're on Patreon! Get an extra episode every month, extended Yelp from Strangers segments every other week, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, and more! Patreon Producers: Sean Spademan & Sue Ornelas   Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!   Send us your Mastro's stories at [e-mail].   Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast   Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, PodcastAddict, Overcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!   Next time on Fine Dining: Shakey's Pizza Parlor! If you have ever worked for Shakey's and have a story to share, send it to [e-mail].

Hello, and welcome back to the tastiest edition we've ever had of the fine dining podcast. I think I'm ruined for food for life now. Well, I think the function that this served is it tells us what a 10 out of 10 food really is on this journey. So now we can be better calibrated to rate mediocrity, which is exactly what we do. This is the podcast where we are looking for the most mediocre restaurant in America. And Mastros. Pretty clearly. Not mediocre.

Desire not that. Yeah. Hey, I'm gonna say we deserved it after putting ourselves through Sizzler. That was rough. You deserve it just after the stakes you've ordered. Yeah. This podcast, it was about time that you had one

that was worth having, which you did. And after this, I don't think I ever need to have a steak again at one of these places. You were tired of steak, you were tiring steak. Yeah, I mean, unless we go to like a Mortons or a Ruth's Chris or some other Lawries or steak chain, we're just going to retire steaks until we go to a place that serves steaks. I think that's a good idea. At least steaks in this sense. If it's like cut up steak and it's in a salad salad sure, I'll have it, but that's a different dish

I don't know about stakes in the future. Are we ever going to get a better chain restaurant steak? Probably not probably not So for those of you listening for the first time in this show We're trying to find you the most mediocre restaurant as some sort of measuring stick We got to define what's right in the middle so that we can all have a point of comparison. Yeah, we want to make it easy for you. So is it better than Applebee's? That's the test, that's the litmus test.

Cool, it's good. If it's worse than Applebee's, it's objectively bad. Right now Applebee sits at a 5.02 out of 10. We can do better, we can get more mediocre. And we are evaluating these places based on their atmosphere Based on their service and based on their food Yum, of course You're like a hybrid of our own podcast and Red Robin

Now this episode in particular Neither of us chose Masters our guest from last time, VV1, chose Maastros for us. It was a peace offering because I picked Sizzler, but I picked Sizzler knowing that she was gonna be a guest with us. And she really likes Sizzler. And so she felt like, oh, I put you through that I guess I'll pick Master's so you guys can have an actually good steak and we did oh we did it was a

great time we appreciate a apology accepted I guess I don't know if it's like an apology but it's definitely like a little here you go treat yourself and you guys should treat yourself to more episodes from us. We do have a Patreon, we'd love it if you went and checked it out and supported it. Give bonus episodes every month, the extended version of our Yelp from Stranger segment, all sorts of stuff. It's worth going to find dining party if you do. But in the meantime, our table is ready, follow me Have you tried our chicken breast? Serving pancakes and ribs, I recommend this spaghetti We're here to serve as fine not to impress Your table is ready, complimentary butter and bread

These walls have growth signs Nick, Nack, Cowboy, Hat, Good luck at Autograph guitar, some crap from your city Behold the trusty of mediocrity I'm dining Yes, I'm operating I'm dining Yes, I'm dining I'm dining

Two letters on the sign are shining You know, plickering a regular timing Identify the perfect vibe How the ten I'm dining I'm dining First impressions. We're gonna do it right from when we pull up. There's a valet, like a mandatory valet. And I get into a panic because I had a punishment from the you must pull.

Remember, because Sizzler did not fall within the four to six range zone of mediocrity, I had to draw a punishment that gets enacted at our next restaurant pick, which happened to be a very fancy master's ocean club restaurant. It was fitting. They have a dress code. They do. And you had to wear clothing made of Pokemon cards. I had to wear a suit made out of an item of your choosing.

You chose Pokemon cards. And it's fitting. It follows the dress code at Masteros. So I had pants, a blazer, and a bow tie all made out of Pokemon cards. You can check this out by going to our social media, Instagram, TikTok, at Find Dining Podcast. If you want to see this masterpiece of fashion, but let me tell ya, for as good as it looked,

it had no mobility. Oh, not at all. So walking around, I was basically doing like the 1980s robot dance the whole time. Oh, that was once you even got into it. Oh yeah, okay, so we pull up, there's a mandatory valet and I'm like panicking because I'm like, hey, I didn't drive here in the wardrobe that I need to be in.

I was going to change in my car and the guy has no patience for me. Yeah, he doesn't seem to. That enters the, he's not enthused at all. He doesn't care. It's just, we are just two giant pains in his ass. And you try to sell him on it. He's got a suit made out of Pokemon cards, and he just goes, yeah, I see that.

And it's like on a hanger in the back seat. So I have to get into the pants, which are like a solid straight line. Like there's no bend in them at all. So I don't want to make it take long So I keep my shoes on you get one leg in one shoe through completely and then the other shoe gets legitimately Very stuck in the pants now keep in mind. I'm like

Leaning backwards into the back seat of my car, the woman giving birth in the men in black scene. Yeah. In the back of her car to the alien. That's what I felt like. I'm just in a very vulnerable position. My foot gets completely stuck. I'm like, Garrett, I need you to pull on the ankle

and help me remove this pant leg so I can take the shoe off, put the leg through, then put the shoe back on. This whole ordeal is already like two minutes of just putting the pants on. I feel like a jackass, I'm disruptive. Luckily other people aren't pulling up yet. I wish they would have. I'm so glad that I hate disrupting.

I really do. I do too, but I like watching other people disrupt things. That's fair. So you help me out of the one leg. I get it done. I put the thing on the jacket. I walk inside. Immediately there's a really young hostess at the door. I mean, I'm assuming young she had braces. So just kind of like that younger look. And like immediately just like I like your Pokemon card suit. I was like, Oh, yes. I'm walking into a group

of people who work here that are younger than me, who grew up with Pokemon. So I'm getting a lot of love from the host staff and I'm all for it. This was the biggest thing we were worried about. Are they gonna be offended by this? Is it gonna be too much of a distraction? Are they gonna turn us away?

Yeah, are they gonna literally not let us eat there? But luckily, seemed like they had a young host staff who, at one point in their lives, were exposed and probably into Pokemon. So it went off real well, or at least they were really good at faking it. I don't know, they seemed like they were in shit. They even took our first picture.

Normally, it's just as selfie, but this guy even offers, he's like, hey, would you like a picture again? And they had like a nice logo sign in front of one of those like wall waterfalls. Yes. It was a waterfall. A water wall. They had their bronze cow statue right at the front. So it's, it looks golden, but it's a bronze statue. Do you have that master?

Yeah. I noticed dolphins. I didn't see a cow. Was there a cow inside? Yeah. It was a cow bust. So when you become certified to sell A5 Japanese brand new, specifically Kobe beef, you get this. It's like a little trophy or something. Bust trophy thing. So you can display to the public your glorious certification.

That's actually pretty neat. I've never picked up on that. Yeah, so if you go to a really fancy steakhouse and they displayed up front, you see that golden cow. You're like, they've earned this. There's going to be some good steak ahead. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And outside they had a couple of like golden or bronze dolphins and just very classy front area. Didn't really get to take in the front lobby that much. There were a few people waiting. Everyone staring at me, all eyes on Michael because of this Pokemon card suit.

Now, you're the one who should be getting attention. We went for your birthday. This was your birthday dinner. This was actually perfect. I love it how my birthday just kinda went completely under the radar. Yeah, which I love it. I would like to eat out with you

wearing a Pokemon card suit every single time. So you draw all of the focus. I have peace. It's so unmanageable. I hated the experience of maneuvering in it. I did like the attention because it was positive attention. I recognize the fact that it could have been very negative attention, especially if I had even more trouble walking, I managed, but it wasn't easy. I think it helped out that from the beginning, the staff was on our side. Yes. I mean, the staff was phenomenal. Once we got past the valet guy, our servers and servers plural, we had a team.

It was like the red carpet was rolled out for us and I loved it, but they did know we were reviewing the place. You know, we already know it's not gonna be mediocre. So why not get just yeah, the whole experience as NICE as it can be kind of tip our hand a little bit. Usually I'm very against doing that But when we know it's gonna go outside the Zona's Idiocity whatever why not enjoy it? So we're gonna get into all that but before we do I want to know some background on Master O's ocean club Garrett Have you gathered up some Resty facts? I do indeed have some facts that are gathered Let's go into this week's Resty fact roundup Before we go in we usually pick a sound to not assault my mom's ears because she doesn't

like the noise of the whip that we use to round up our resty facts. But this is cattle. This is what the rounding up was made for. It's a cattle herd. Yeah. I think the whip's got a sting. Need to have some whip. I think the whip's got to stay.

But we can soften it a little bit by something, I don't know, maybe the sounds of the cows being whipped. Yeah, that'll make it better. We'll have a whip and then the cows bow vine reactions. No cows were actually hurt in the making of this sound effect. Jeffrey and Mike Mastro opened their first restaurant in 1999 in Scottsdale, Arizona. And obviously Scottsdale is such a hub of restaurant chains.

Yeah. And these two humble men named it after themselves too. Yeah. I don't know if I would name a place or nellis is just because most people would butcher it or neilis or neilis, Cornelius, Aurelius, all names I've actually heard, my middle school football coach called me Aurelius. Keep in mind, I was pretty good. This wasn't like some random player

that he never interacted with. I was on the B team, but I was like used in every like defensive offensive special teams. Like, I was in everything. he knew me, a realist. That was a compliment. He was referring to as one of the most competent Roman generals of all time. Not even spelled that way, so here's the thing.

My last name, ORNES, right? I needed a hall pass from him one time, and he wrote out my last, he wrote Michael, and then he just stared at the paper for a while, and then wrote A-R- L I U S. And this folks shows the dangers of CTE. By 2007, Mastros had seven locations and the owners sold their majority stake to two private equity firms. I want the majority of stake in this restaurant. I do too.

equity firms. I want the majority of stake in this restaurant. I do too. Oh, okay, it's something about this new firm. This was short lived. So in 2013, Landry's purchased all master's properties. So a different stake company. Yeah. And Landry's also they own the Rainforest Cafe, Bubba Gump Shrimp Company, Joe's Crab Shack, Mortons, obviously Landries. So there are a lot of the steak game. Yeah, they are a Tillman Fertitas Company based out of Houston. Gotcha. They also own like the Golden Nugget Casinos. Golden Nugget.

Oh, I was mixing it up with Golden Corral. I was like, what? Okay. Currently, there are 20 locations in eight states in Washington, D.C., which it makes sense with the fancy steakhouse like this, the overhead is massive. You're not gonna be opening up 10, 20 of these every single year.

Yeah, and you don't need to. You need this place to be like a destination. Yeah, that said, I know there's a bunch in the Southern California area. There's Newport, there's Beverly Hills, there's Malibu, there's Downtown, Costa Mesa, thousand oaks. So six there's Malibu, there's downtown. Coast of Mesa. Coast of Mesa. Thousand Oaks.

So, six of them are out here. That's wild. According to Landtree's president and CEO, Tillman for Teda, the difference between the steakhouse and ocean club locations is the latter having a slightly larger menu in more seafood options. We went to an ocean club location.

And we got some seafood. We got some really good seafood. Yeah. Yeah. The Houston location boasts a 20,000 bottle wine inventory. That's a lot. Therefore, they are the winner of Wine Spectators Grand Award, which is a quantity over quality thing. No, no, it's okay. It's okay. It's okay. So you just have a lot of wine, congrats. In the 40 years, this award has been in existence only 97 restaurants have received it. Okay, so a little over two a year.

So it's pretty prestigious. Yeah, but only 35 restaurants have received the prestigious, this is way too much of a word. And I'm sure Masters will get one a little bit later. Oh, they will. Masters is known for it's celebrity clientele and high prices. Just, oh yeah, Google Master's TMZ or Master's Beverly Hills, and you just get loads and loads of headlines. Oh, Kobe Bryant and Michael Jordan, met to eat at the Beverly Hills Master's.

Justin Bieber spotted out with Selena Gomez again at Master's. It just, it goes on and on and on. This is one of the places, specifically the Beverly Hills location, is one of the places where you go to see celebrities if you're one of those people that actually cares. And you and I were the bells of the ball at this Master's. And even then, the specific one we went to,

that was one of Kobe's favorite places. Ah! In addition to these things, it's really known for its dress code. Yep, which I abided by faithfully. Ha-ha-ha-ha. Mastros enforces a strict upscale dress code. We do not allow beachwear, gym attire, including sweatpants, sweatshirts,

or hoodies, athletic apparel, jerseys, hats, beanies, bandanas, ball caps, oversize, or baggy clothing, tank tops, and sleeveless shirts are prohibited. No excessively revealing clothing will be allowed. Clothing, emitting offensive odors is not permitted to be worn anywhere on the property. Ooh, I'm glad they didn't smell the inside of my Pokemon card suit because that thing had a musk. That thing had a musk. That thing had a musk. So speaking of this dress code, in 2018, the Beverly Hills location made TMZ news for

turning away a Spur's basketball player's girlfriend for her short skirt. And like, I saw the video, it was like a cocktail dress, like whatever. Interesting. Yeah, I would expect that to fly there. I would expect to see that there. Later, after speaking to the general manager of the location, they made an exception. But initially, a door man was like, not a fan, that's too short.

There was a door guy at this one, and he just kind of like laughed as I walked by. I don't know if you noticed that. I didn't notice. Yeah. Earlier in 2018, a Steelers player was denied entry due to wearing sweatpants. And eventually, he ended up getting in by buying a pair of pants off of Paparazzi for $100. I thought you were going to say off of Paparoch.

No. I was like, I would never wear Paparoch's pants. So, literally, he traded pants with a TMZ cameraman. That's funny. I'm feeling more and more proud that I managed to get in with this concoction. Yeah. Ah! I found another story of a former real housewives

of Orange County alum causing a scene at the restaurant by wastedly filming herself trash talking the couple sitting at the table next to her. Great. We're also on the show. Oh, great. I love the idea that this is a place you go to see real life beef.

I mean, a five beat. Yeah. Yeah. Mastros also recently made the news when a member of the 2023 NCAA men's basketball national champion Yukon Huskies claimed to get food poisoning from the Calamari he and teammates ate there the night before a game. No. And he still played despite food poisoning. Well, alright. Yeah. Okay, Mastros disputes this claim heavily. Yeah, because they say the entire teammate there, others had the Calamari and only this one player got sick. We didn't poison you with our Kalamari, we poisoned you with something else. Speaking of sickness, Mastro's Wikipedia mentions a COVID outbreak and the first Omicron variant

in the Coachella Valley sent it around the Palm Desert location in 2021. I got COVID from Mastro's. I went to the Beverly Hills location like April 2022, I think, and just there was no spacing between tables at all. Like I was literally bumping elbows with the people on both sides of me. Of course you got it then. And I genuinely felt uncomfortable,

which is a big reason why I was like, let's do the Newport one, because I've been there before and I remembered it being a little bit more spaced out, more booths, we didn't get a booth, but they have some there. And I have no idea how I would have managed sitting in a booth with this jacket.

Oh God, that would have been hilarious. Ha ha ha. They also made news in December 2020 as one of the LA restaurants, the Malibu location to be precise, to defy the county health mandate to cease dinin' service. Obviously, with their butter cake containing two full sticks of butter, health is not your main concern when you go here.

That's fair. One last note, I found it and it tickled me. Yeah. The headline is 12 vital places to find single cougars in Arizona in 2023. I love this already by Brandon Wood, Men's Dating Coach. If you're seeking cougars, head to Scottsdale Masters. And this was his right up describing location. It's like a big cat rescue day. If you're looking for a great place to take a date for dinner, look no further than

master's in Scottsdale. This seafood slash steakhouse restaurant is well known for its food and atmosphere. The ambiance is very upscale, perfect for impressing that sophisticated older woman. And if you don't have a date yet, you're in luck, they have a full bar. This is well known as one of the best places to meet coolgers in Arizona. If you do check out the bar area, make sure to dress appropriately. Mastros is a very upscale place and you don't want to look like you don't belong in this classy establishment.

That's funny. The one drawback of Mastros is that it's expensive. This probably isn't a great place to go on a nightly basis, but if you have some cash to burn, make sure to check this spot out. Why are people creating a list of where you pick up cougars in the entire state of Arizona to begin with? You gotta know. You gotta know.

Is this like geriatric back page? Yep. And that'll do it for this week's RESTY FACTS RUNDUP. Yeah! Atmas year. Okay, so as we're led to our seat, and again, I'm robot. Yeah! Atmissier. Okay, so as we're led to our seat, and again, I'm robot walking,

we pass that nice water wall, the waterfall wall, Walter Fall. We go to this bar area with like dark ceilings and a really sleek dark classy bar. It looks like they're not chandeliers, but it's like orange light circles overhead that looked real sleek. I was a fan of that vibe.

A little bit louder, this was the big bar room, music playing. And you could tell the acoustics of the room were almost set up to keep the sound clearly in that space. Which is crazy because we kind of sat at the border of three separate spaces. Yeah, so there was the bar area, the full open air courtyard, the atrium,

which is where we basically sat. And then like overhead covered dining, that was more traditional. There were booths and tables and stuff and kind of went off in a few different directions. It seemed like they had a lot of dining areas. We were at the limiddle zone of three different dining areas. And we were just past the border of that bar area and I could literally hear the sound get dampened. The difference between moving my head like two

feet. It's actually very cool in that way, because I wouldn't have wanted this to be a crazy loud experience. A lot of the reviews I see online are complaining about the noise, especially at the Beverly Hills location. Yeah. I thought the noise level was perfect.

Even once the live music started later, it wasn't too loud at all. No, it wasn't too bad. They had live music, they were like setting up, you and I were kind of finishing our reel and I could see them like, oh, there's a pianist and some microphones and a guitar player. Let's wait it out.

Let's hear some of this music. We'll talk about that in a little bit, but in the meantime, we sit down, there's this open air atrium, there's a tree right in the middle, a real tree, not a fake tree, a real tree, and actually speaking of that tree, one of the servers told us, I thought a pretty fun story.

And the thing is, when you see a tree in the middle of a restaurant, is your first thought, let's climb it? Not at a master's like a psycho. So she was telling a story about how she had two tables specifically kind of near this, you know, center-atrium area. One of them was just a group of guys from the Midwest, and another group, group of housewives, like Orange County Housewives.

Yeah, like, you know, the TV show. Reality show type, and apparently they were getting real boozy, and this is a normal occurrence here. And started like climbing the tree and like hanging from it I guess and all the like Midwestern guys did not know how to react because that's just not how people carry themselves And rightfully so yeah, I don't yeah, you were thinking that's not how people carry themselves in the Midwest But that's just not how people carry themselves right and they're like taking pictures like it was like this big tourist act that they were seeing. And in a way, it kind of was. So I don't know, it made me laugh. There's like,

not Christmas lights, but like kind of that style of wrapping lights around some like fencing with greenery behind it. It's well landscaped. It's lush paintings of jellyfish and stuff. Like that really digging into giving you that ocean feel you get a nice view of Newport Beach of the window we weren't up against the window in our seating but we could still clearly see the ocean you can still clearly see the ocean so it's a very nice relaxing. The fact that we didn't have to deal with like the fluorescent lighting that you get in a lot of chain restaurants is very nice.

It was just an enjoyable place to be. I will say my Pokemon card suit was making my life difficult in that. Once I sat down, the cards going up my calf were digging into the back of my knee, and I just didn't have circulation from the knees down. The majority of the experience. But I think it was worth it. You were the true center of attention at this restaurant. There were so many patrons taking pictures of just you. Yeah.

How often do you go out to eat and random strangers take your picture? If you're a celebrity and a regular at Master's, I'm sure it happens to me, never. Well, there's a first for everything. There's a first. I did have to take the jacket off and put it on the back of my seat, because it would have been impossible to write notes.

It would have been impossible to eat, which I know the point of the you must bowl is to punish me and make things inconvenient. But if it's at the expense of being able to actually functionally give you a review, I'm gonna take the little shortcut. Also, to be fair, this punishment was completely conceived by you. I didn't have to draw from the bowl because you pulled from the fine-dining by-laws to give me this punishment. So, you know, there's, I feel like I earned some leeway

with the extent of punishment that you gave me. Oh yeah, no, this punishment exceeded all expectations. Yeah. Also, huge shout out to Tanya Apuya for making that Pokemon card suit. She did a fantastic job on pretty short notice putting something together. There was a woman that came up and started chatting with our waitress as she was arriving. That made me feel like, oh, this woman's a regular. Can you imagine, like, I go to Masteros maybe once a year.

I've been in LA for 11 years. I've been to Masteros 6 times. It's like the meal of the year for me. Imagine being a regular. To be fair, she did look like a cougar. I bet if you own a home in Newport Beach, you can probably be a regular. Yeah, it just seemed wild.

The idea that it's like, oh, I'll have the usual. So you're walking out of there spending a minimum $200 every time. Yeah, minimum. We don't really talk about prices and stuff too much, but let's just say with our alcohol it. This was very expensive. I can't imagine what people alcohol would have doubled this bill.

Can we talk about the alcohol guy? Yes. Oh man, they have like a... They have like a... Yeah. So there was like a Somali A with a giant bottle of Krovasi A in this huge crystal bottle and a big metal syringet. Looked like the thing you use to disseminate horses. Yes.

Not that I know much about that. I'm from Texas, but I don't have much farm experience. No, you know you'd buy a lot of the implements. I saw the implements. So the implements. I saw the implements. I saw the implement. I'm like, I feel like I've seen that on like, when those, I think I've seen this on shows,

on accidental videos. No, when you see those shows on like Bravo where it's like city girl goes to the country, they always do like an insemination bit. I guess. Yeah, I don't know. It's like you want to really experience the the country knock up a horse. Cool. Yeah. Anyways, that's what they're using to take the drink out of the Kervassier and put it into the little glasses. And I'm just like, I hope they

washed that. This guy looked like a stereotype of a butler. Yeah. He had the fancy white gloves on. He had that kind of suit with tails. I think this guy would be a hit man in another life. Oh, for sure. He had that vibe. I mean, I think he could be a hit man in this life. Yeah, that's arranged as long enough to stab someone with. Yeah.

So it was a very fancy, I was just like, I didn't expect, you're not getting that at Apple, but he's, so once he injected the liquid into the drinking glass, he like swirled it around, cote every single part of the glass. He had a process. He did, like, I'm not convinced that the process means anything, I'm not either.

I think that stuff is very hoyditoy-ty and probably not doing anything, but they insist. Yeah, I guess it was the whole show. It was a show. It took out my phone. It was a show. It did. That's the point.

Yeah, and I mean, you feel fancy being tended to, whether or not you believe the bullshit of like, oh, and I'm doing this to bring out the notes of whatever. No, you're not. Maybe you are. I don't know. I'm unsophisticated and I don't drink. So you put those two things together. Like, Chili's is my comfort zone. So yeah, maybe I'm just jaded or something.

But hey, any listeners out there that consume alcohol that you need to be fed with a giant bowl seamen syringe. Tell us. Tell me who you are and what you're like. Yeah. Like what's the joy of this? Yeah. Now, one thing I did notice on the table, and this is a bold statement by the kitchen, no salt or pepper shakers. There was no ability to alter the taste of your,

I mean, I'm sure you could ask and they would bring you some, but it's a very cocky statement to be like, no, no, we're gonna get this right. Yeah, that's the way they should do it. I was surprised we even have the option for our meat cook temperature. Really? Yeah, I was almost expecting just to go there

or to the steak and they serve it to you as they intend. I'm never surprised because to some degree, a safety thing, different people have a different sensitivity of their gut, different people can handle different things. I do understand, like, you don't want to ruin the meat. Like, if someone ordered it well done, they should have like a hitting policy in place where they can just be like, no, and then, whew, shh, exactly. Like, either that or just take them out behind the restaurant, head on to my misery.

Head on to my misery. Head on to my misery. Head on to my misery. Yeah. He uses that syringe, jam it into their neck. That's what he does. He takes out the people who order well done steaks. We finish up our meal and the music is starting.

And I feel like they're trying to ship us a little bit. They're playing like, in Kiz, me, did it. It's just like setting a real mood. And I was just like, am I supposed to kiss you on the mouth right now? It feels like I am. I think we have to kiss. And so we did.

And it was, we're together now. Yeah. Sorry, Aubrey. Sorry, Joyce. Yeah. This is how they find out. But one of the things I did notice, one of the songs that they were playing,

I didn't recognize the song, but on like a reliable every eight beeps There was a Dinging sound like one of those hotel lobby Bellman summoning bells. Yeah, and it was consistent through the first verse through the bridge Yeah, and then like later in the song it starts getting Yeah, and then like later in the song it starts getting inconsistent It's like off the beat that you've now come to it and you can tell someone's just adding the sound effect and I'm just like What's going on over there

Michael what's going on over there? Michael, what's going on over there? I think it's like some sort of mixture between a Pavlovian establishment and trying to like, turn you into a sleeper agent or maybe even wake up the sleeper agent within you. Oh, is that a signal for the Somali-A to start murder? Or maybe it's a way to train us to be like the Somali-e and as a group We take out people who order their steaks well That's what it is because I feel like I lost time. I feel like I looked at my watch It was like 735 and then I looked at my watch like a minute later and it was 748 and I'm like

Where did those 13 minutes go and I believe it? This is proper Pavlovian training. We have amazing stake. That's given to us. Shortly after, we get the sound of the bell. So forever, we will think best stake of our lives and bell. Which means, which means I'm willing to fight for stake. I'm willing to kill for stake.

And I think in 13 minutes, everyone in this restaurant teamed up and murdered someone who ordered a well-done steak and disposed of the body and went back to business as usual. That sounds efficient. Yeah. And the musicians are in on it. I wonder if the musicians are behind it. Maybe the musicians were there to cover up the noise of the murder. Oh, that would make sense.

It's also why that one song was the only one I didn't recognize. All the rest were like hits and stuff like that. And I went for a last to be over. You know, that's really fitting. I think that was subliminally training us to end lives. Yeah, I don't want to wait for my life to be over before I take someone else's life. I don't know, but that's definitely what was going on over there. That's about all I can think of when it comes to atmosphere, it was just a very upscale, nice, separate zones, each zone, just as nice as the next. Everything was intentionally designed, everything from the

lighting to the room acoustics. You could tell a lot of work was put into this. It goes without saying, two thumbs up. Yeah, two thumbs up. No explanation needed. Yeah, I mean, really, just go. Yeah, just go to a Master's. You'll understand, it is a two thumbs up atmosphere. We highly suggest the Newport Beach location. I, for sure do.

Yeah, I think I've been to three different Master's and I've been to this one twice and both times it blew me away. Surface. So it takes a village and in this case, the village treated us like royalty. Yes. We weren't treated like the normal town drunk idiot.

We weren't shoved in a corner and forgotten about it. That's what normally happens. We are normally just like these guys look like trouble, even when we don't have a you-muscle punishment. And if we're in ties even too, yeah, we had not one, not two, but three servers introduced themselves to us at the start of the meal as the team that'll be serving us.

And we also had two other servers come up and interact with us throughout the meal. Yeah. One guy who just I looked up, he looked to like see if I needed anything, just immediately like he knew we weren't his table. His name was Kevin. He was on it. Now our servers were Brittany, Sergio and Henry. Henry was on top of a lot of the, I guess, busing duties and refilling waters brought us bread. Brittany was kind of the main mouthpiece of the trio. Sergio was anything but the mouthpiece.

He was there to train. Very, very quiet guy. He was the stern silent. Oh, I know what his job was. He was one of the effacinth. He wasn't the assassin. He was the one that flagged the people for murder. Yeah, he was there when he ordered.

He just thought, I was like, how'd you order this? Oh, okay. Interesting. Interesting note. No. All of them, nicees can be professional on it. Yeah.

Giving us attention, making us feel special. And I'm not used to this attention, Garrett. Me neither. When we go out to eat, I like the attention, making us feel special, and I'm not used to this attention, Garrett. Me neither. When we go out to eat, I like the attention, but at some point, it overwhelms me. I feel like too much of the bell of the ball, and it might be way too much. Way too much.

This is way too much. Now don't get me wrong, this is a positive, this is way too much. This is in no way a complaint. These were excellent servers and if this could be the norm, it might ruin me as a person. Like, you need that resilience from being ignored and spat on. Okay, we have been used to traveling through the service desert. We hit this amazing oasis.

What the hell do we do? Yeah, what do we do now? You guys ruined service for us. And it was awesome, but it was in fact way too much. That is not a real complaint in any way. No, no, no, no, this was ex, this was the best. This is like a NASCAR pit crew of service. This just experts. in any way. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Yeah, they weren't putting on server acts or anything. These seem to be really authentic humans that enjoyed what they were doing

or maybe not enjoyed, but they were at least passionate about it. They were trying to make sure you had a good experience. Yeah, Brittany said, the slickest thing I have ever heard a server say to me. She was like, yeah, if you guys need anything, just grab my attention, I don't have anything else going on. And it's like, we know you do.

We know you're busy. We know that you're tending to other tables, but that idea of just, I'm available, and I'm here for what you guys need. Yeah, it's just like, I'm just like, okay. Yeah, that's a good line. We see you. It's like, we feel okay to ask now.

We're not putting you out. Yeah. She also made a chopstick joke to you. Yeah. Like, well, she made a chopstick joke to the table, but her eye line was on me. It was too me, because one of the things we ordered was a crudo, kind of like a sushi-esque thing, but it came with chopsticks.

She was like, our chopsticks are kind of bad. And then she looked at me and I just looked at Garrett. And I was like, oh, bold, bold, I love it. But I appreciate that. I, what, bold. I love it. But I appreciate that I want this is not like it panda. No, where they didn't racially profile you and you complained about it racially profile me and I appreciate it. She did not racially profile you. I like to think she was also on that side of the table that was facing you. But I know you genuinely complained about not being profiled and assumed you should be given chopsticks at Panda.

Yes, she was right. These chopsticks were absolute garbage. I ended up going back to a fork. We're gonna do it too. She had fantastic charisma. We were getting constant refills. This team was awesome. Even Kevin when he came over and I ordered my thing, I got a baked potato is one of the

things and he was like, you know, do you want to play in with the stuff on the side? Or do you want me to load it up? And I say load it up and he like winked at me. Like loaded up. I got you. Yeah. I feel like you can tell the energy Garrett and I have and that there's always an underlying innuendo that doesn't need to be said and just tapped into that side of our humor very, very quickly. There was also a thing, so I did place a drink order with him and this was the only knock on service I had as it took a while. It seemed like they forgot about it. But I noticed a moment when Kevin walked by and I saw him do like, you know how people like count

on their fingers or like you can tell they're kind of talking themselves and like, doing something with their hand. You do it often. You do it often to avoid conversation with humans. Yeah, and I could tell he was kind of doing like some self talk to avoid me flagging him down. You know when you make peripheral eye contact with somebody?

He made peripheral eye contact with me. Yeah, so you were the cleavage that he was checking out. Yes, I was cleavage. He was trying not to look directly into me. And I think he could tell I'm about to flag him down. He speeds past. Okay, but I'm not mad about it because I can tell from like his little hand math that

he's doing. I swear I heard him say under his breath, where's his drink? He comes back a minute and a half later and he's got my drink. It seems like he was literally walking by just to do a check, saw something was wrong, went, fixed it himself. That overcomes any delay of the drink issue that I might have, just that prerogative that he took to make sure that it got to me very quickly after.

Good on you, Kevin. It's, I feel like at this place, everyone's eyes were open. Yes. This was the best service team we've ever had. My thoughts. Two thumbs up. Totally.

Two thumbs up, hands down. Yeah. Do you think that this team as a whole can be awarded our best server award? I think so. I mean, I think they've got to be this was, look, Amy from Hooters made a valiant effort, but there's also like a stigma I've felt anytime I tell someone that our best waitress was at Hooters. They don't believe me. They think I'm just like, they're like, yeah, yeah. Okay, guy. No, this team was full of professionals.

They were awesome. Went on to take a picture with me because of the Pokemon card suit. It seemed to be a hit with everyone, whether or not it really was. I don't know, but they sure made me feel like it. Took a picture. She's like, I've waited on Michael Jordan.

Kobe Bryant, I think Kobe Bryant, LeBron. I don't know. She listed like some celebrities, some basketball players. She's like, the only people my kids cared about were when I took a picture with these Instagrammers who opened Pokemon Card packs. So the fact that I now stand above Michael Jordan

to her kids, I mean, she didn't say that, but I'm going to assume. Yes, dammit. That's what she implied very heavily. Yeah. Can I tell my story assume. Yes. Damn it. That's what she implied very heavily. Yeah. Can I tell my story about meeting Michael Jordan? Yeah. The podcast needs to know.

So when I was a kid, my brother did like a Michael Jordan sponsored basketball camp, and my mom is very tenacious. She will go after whatever it is that her kids want to do. Me specifically. I got a lot of cool opportunities and experiences in my life because my mom was willing to ask, basically. And so my brother got to play basketball with Michael Jordan at this camp.

That's insane. Yeah. And me being like the five years younger, I was probably seven at the time maybe. I'm like, mom, I want a picture with Michael Jordan. And you know, it was my brother's moment. I shouldn't have, but I wanted it. And I'm seven.

Who cares about other people's feelings? I mean, my brother wasn't upset as far as I know, but my mom goes to the back, finds Michael Jordan, brings me there and is like, my son wants a picture. Can we take a picture with you? He looks down at my feet and just goes re-box and walks away. Because he's notoriously sponsored by Nike. You know, Air Jordans are an extension of Nike. And yeah, we go outside, we convene with my grandmother and my mom's sister and we're all like,

what do we do? What do we do? There's a shoe store down the street. Do we go down there? Do we buy some Nike's? What do we do? And my mom's like, just take the shoes off. And so, What do we do? And my mom's like, just take the shoes off. And so I walk back into this building like a frickin' hillbilly. I'm wearing a Michael Jordan jersey that goes down so long it looks like a sleep shirt. You know, like you can barely see my shorts.

And I go in, I'm barefoot. My mom finds Michael Jordan again. It's like, all right, no shoes. Can we get a photo? And he's like, dang lady. Sure, you know, I'm gonna walk down this hall, just walk in front of us, take a picture. So I'm walking down the hall with Michael Jordan.

There's like other people talking to him. I don't know if they're agents, managers, press, whatever. None of them are wearing Nike's. And I'm barefoot. I'm the only one looking at the camera. Michael Jordan's arm is around me. And if it weren't for that, it would look like I'm just straight up Photoshopped

into this picture. So that's my Michael Jordan story. I've got this photo of like me, just happy as a clam, staring into a camera, barefoot. Next to Michael Jordan. That is an amazing athlete picture story. Yeah.

Also, I went to another steakhouse in Chicago a few years later. Michael Jordan was at the bar. My mom was like, oh, I'm gonna another steakhouse in Chicago a few years later. Michael Jordan was at the bar. My mom was like, oh, I'm gonna get the menu signed. Gets up, goes, has the menu made out to me. Security guard stops her and she goes, oh, I know him. And just keeps walking past. Jesus, amazing.

Of course. That's the way to do it. Oh, I know him. This tenacity, this is why I censor the whipsound and restyffact roundup. Because my mom has done things for me. Anyways, I'll have to say two thumbs up for service. Yes. Two thumbs up, five thumbs up, ten thumbs up for service.

However many thumbs we have, we'll give them. And now a word from our totally not made up sponsor. Whoa, whoa, whoa, what's this? Five thumbs up, ten thumbs up. You can't just change your rating system. Hi there, it's your favorite sponsor, Job, and I'm back. And this is a bunch of bullshit. You can't just go 32 episodes giving from two thumbs down

to the two thumbs up, and then all of a sudden you're doing more than that. You need a level of consistency. And that's what I'm here to sell you. Hey, look at the make a rating system for something that's gonna stand out. I'll help you do that. Like how about this? You're a middle-aged woman at your boozy book club.

You've just finished the seven husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins' read, and you need to give it a score. Five sinfendels out of seven. Because you went through five, but Sheila brought seven, and that's on the book. Or what about this? Your brand-new-it Buzzfeed, and you gotta make a hot article. Top seven IRS agents. Ranked.

And of course, the score is how many times I've gotten away with tax fraud, when they're the ones on my case. So if you want me to make a custom scale for you, I'll do it call me not on a phone Just put my name instead of yours on a W2 and send me your social security number and I'll take it from there. Okay, bye Food So we got a lot of food here and it starts off with bread service It's like an actual thing offered on the menu. It's a basket of bread.

It's refills if you want it. It's butter, a bunch of different types of bread and lots of good bread. Oh my gosh. First of all, the presentation was excellent. Yeah. It's pretty bread. It's pretty bread. It's pretty bread, but no, it's every, it's pretty bread.

It is. It's not just pretty bread. It's really bread. It's really pretty bread. This, this is like very appealing, very sexy, very tasty, very scrumptious. I want to put this in my mouth instantly. So that said, I'm gonna start off with the weak one. There was a sourdough that it was good, but it just didn't do anything special. I had it at a six and a half out of 10. Yeah. I had the sourdough at a seven out of 10. It was structurally excellent with an ideal crunch

and just enough elasticity and sponginess on the inside, but the flavor was missing. Yeah, they did have very good butter. Oh man, you read butter again. You took a fork full of butter just to have it. Oh man, 10 out of 10 butter, that was house made sweet cream. It was just enough salt. It was very good.

Perfectly silky texture. Like, I would just eat that butter. Yeah, and I do want to talk about the bread that had cheese in it, therefore I didn't touch it. Yeah, there was a garlic crustini. It was extremely tough and chewy, but like, I guess that's what you expect from the style bread, and it a really strong flavor of crushed garlic,

butter, and parmesan, but the parmesan was strong. Yeah. So me not being a cheese boy, I can only give this a six out of 10. Yeah, but if you're okay with the texture and you like cheese, this is an eight or a nine for you. Okay, so the other two breads I gave 10 to. They had a bread called Epi.

Yeah, I have no idea what this is. EPI, I think, like Epi pen, I was like, oh great. Honestly, it kind of looked like a duke. It was not that at all, but I mean, it certainly had like, it had like, oh great, honestly, it kind of looked like a dukey. It was not that at all, but I mean, it certainly had like, it had like knots to it in the way that it was shit. It was kinda like a chip emoji. Okay, stop.

That's what I thought. A very rich inner, like once you got to the inside of the bread, just very warm, very delicious bread. I don't, I mean, how do you describe it? It's like an artisan bowl almost. I don't, I mean, how do you describe it? It's like an artist in... Yeah, it's like a whole almost. I could tell.

It was like a yeast flavor to it. It was so amazing. Yeah, 9 out of 10 for me. And then pretzel sticks basically, that were warm in the perfect way. These were the perfect pretzel texture for me. These were 10 out of 10 pretzel sticks, pretzel sticks, pretzel bread sticks, I guess.

And then the butter only made it better. It was perfection to me. These were like visually appealing pretzels. Yeah, no imperfections at all. Perfect amount of salt. Perfectly center mass on this pretzel. You could balance it on your finger and it wouldn't fall. Oh yeah, no, definitely.

So I will give this a 9.9 out of 10. I like how this perfect pretzel bread gets a 9.9 but wetzel's pretzels gets a 10. Mall pretzel you gave a 10 to. Hey, mall pretzel has a special part in my degenerate heart. Oh my god. This was too good for me. I don't deserve this pretzel. I'm gonna give this the 10.1 just to account for your shortcoming. I'm gonna put my thumb on the scale here. This bread is so good, it's giving me imposter syndrome. I don't belong here. So we got two starters.

We got the Hamachi Crudo and then we got the crab cake. What do you want to talk about first? I'll just spoil it right from the beginning. Both of these were 10 out of 10s for me. One of these was a 10 out of 10 for me. I guess I'll start off with my favorite of the two. Yeah. The Hamachi Crudo.

Yes. Now, Crudo is the Italian and Spanish word for raw. So it's basically like a sushi. It is. It served in like a different shape. It's almost like a little turnover dome. Yeah. So it was Hamachi, Apple, Pickled onion, and scallion. It was topped with crispy onions

and placed into a cylindrical ring mold. And it was sitting in like a soy ponzu sauce and it had dots of Yuzu cilantro mayo. And in it was the yellow tail. It was really, really good. But impossible to eat with these crappy chopsticks. Quick thing, the difference between crudo and sashimi, they're both similar dishes where the highlight

of sashimi is the meat itself. So it's focusing on the thin slices of meat while crudo is focusing on the entire dish, the presentation together. So that makes sense because more of like steak tartar. I think what I didn't love, I did love this dish, but what I think held it back for me was I wanted a little bit more focus on the fish. Yeah. So that makes sense. I thought that the ratio was not to my preference. So I went eight out of 10 on this. But the ratio was still appropriate for what it is. Yeah.

And the sauce was very good. All the ingredients together worked real well. I have one word to describe this entire thing. What? Fresh. Yes. This took my mouth on a journey from the initial bright and clean yellow tail through the mildly sweet

and crisp apple with a hint of pickled tang from the onion and the slight savory insult of the sauce, ending with another clean and bright element that used cilantro mayo. The fried onions provided some welcome textural variety and crunch that mirrored the clean and crisp nature of the entire dish. It was great, I'm normally not a cilantro fan. Oh, I like cilantro. But you sound like I always think it kind of tastes like soap. And apparently that's a genetic thing.

Yeah. So people have the gene to where it tastes that way, to me, it does not. But it worked for me just that clean little soapy, that soapy fish. And that's 10 out of 10 for you. That is 10 out of 10. So 10 out of 10 for me were the crab cakes we ordered. These crab cakes had avocado, microgreens or whatever, lemon, a remu-laid sauce.

It all came together so freaking well. This was the best crab cake I have ever had by a pretty substantial margin. Same here. You squeeze lemon on it. The avocado added so much, the greens themselves were delicious to wear. The crab cake was gone and I'm still sitting there just like,

bowling over the greens into my mouth. It was so tasty. And I was just like, everything together was so great. How can you make a fried food fresh? I don't know the science of it, but what do I know? I don't know the science either. We go to shitty like restaurants, that's what we do. The idea of great food is beyond us.

I know, there were just so many different flavor elements, like the tartness at the end from the lemon, maybe that was it. Yeah. We're not smart enough for this food guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 10 out of 10 for me. Perfect 10 out of 10, yeah.

We got three sides between us. Two different types of potatoes. You got the garlic mashed potatoes and you got a pound baked potato. The one pound baked potato, and then we got Brussels sprouts that had like this steak bacon. Bacon is what they called it, yeah. So the Brussels sprouts themselves, I thought were a little undercooked. They were just a little tough. They're a fresher in crisper.

I see the choice they make. So you're pairing this with extremely rich savory fatty meats. So a lighter crisper brussel sprout pairs appropriately. I didn't get crisp on this. I did on mine. To me, it was like a toughness, but not a crisp. I love a crisp on brussel sprouts. They weren't bad, but it just, it didn't set my world on fire, but the steak bacon, they put in just these giant chunks of thick bacon, like pork belly chunks were fantastic. They were such a good addition. Now, I'm not going to factor this into my rating, but I will say, when I recooked these later, because I took some home, 10 out of 10, that said, what I was served at the restaurant, just for being a little too firm, 7 out of 10. Yeah, and I took some home, 10 out of 10. That said, what I was served at the restaurant,

just for being a little too firm, 7 out of 10? Yeah, and I'm about in the same range with you. I'm going to go with a 6.5 out of 10, just because of the less char and less grease on it. Like, I want some heft to my Brussels sprouts. Right. Now, speaking of heft, a 1 pound baked potato fully loaded, complete with a wink from Kevin So it was supposed to have like sour cream, which I'm not a fan of cheese not a fan of but I like the chives I like bacon bits and I like butter. I feel like because I didn't ask for the other two things that had dairy on it I think they assumed I didn't want butter or a lot of butter

So it was way drier than I expected and wanted. It was still good, but another 7 out of 10 that could have been higher. Again, I took a lot of this home and when I remade it later, I put the desired amount of butter on it and it was fantastic. It was way better. I would believe that, that they shied off on it, because everything else is not light on the butter. Right.

I got the garlic mashed potatoes, which is just a reliable heavy hitter. Yeah, always. But these were so silky and creamy. Every single bite had garlic flavor. That's something I don't get in garlic mashed potatoes all the time. It's like, you'll hit like a vein of garlic, but it's not distributed correctly throughout,

typically, but these work. I didn't even see chunks of garlic. This was like a purely emulsified garlic or something mixed into the potatoes. Yeah. They have very good garlic mashed potatoes at Master's. They're regularly what I get. So I'm gonna give these ones a nine out of 10.

Yeah, I went eight and a half out of 10, largely because I just didn't eat that much of them my I'm sure like the rating would have gone up If I consume more but I kind of waited a little bit they'd cool a little because it was your side I will say the way they serve them they always bring it to you and then they scoop it out and scoop it onto your plate for you and it feels a little splash sometimes, and it doesn't leave the best plated presentation when you're looking at them. Like our photo that we, because we always take photos of all our food,

our photos of the garlic mashed potatoes look like a half eaten like leftover. I don't mind the process of them putting it on the plate, but as far as a presentation standpoint, it doesn't look fantastic. No, but looks are deceiving. We don't look fantastic and we're delicious. Speak for yourself.

That's fair. I'm not delicious. You've been left on the counter and you were supposed to be refrigerated. I neither look good nor am I tasty. Yes. Okay, so now the stakes, the entree. I got an Australian wagyu ribeye

and I got a Japanese Miyazaki a 5 New York strip. Now what's the difference between them? I mean other than the cut of the strip versus the rib eye. Basically everything starts with the marbling. That is the most important part of the steak. It determines if it's a good or a bad steak pretty much. There are three grades of American steaks. Select choice and prime. And they go, they're prime as the best, right? They go from least to most fat. Okay, yeah, yeah.

Select that's bullshit. Pretty much. I have no other way to describe that other than bullshit. And choice is that's what you're gonna get at your average supermarket. Maybe if you're lucky, sizzler will have something that good, probably not, they probably have select.

But prime, the best grading of American meat, that's what all your fancy steak houses are gonna have. Mastro's does have all, at least prime meat. That's just the American grading. Now there's Japanese grading, which is the A1 through 5 scale. Yep, it goes A through C and 1 through 5. Now the letters a through c determine the amount of meat on the cow itself. So before it's even butchered, it gets

a letter grade. So is this like size of cow is based on mass. So it's a mass of proportion. His veal is see just by nature by being less or am I. Is there not. There is not. Veeel does not exist in this category. Okay. And then the number afterwards corresponds to a few things. The color of the fat, the amount of the fat, and the distribution, right? Firmness of. Firmness. Okay.

What was served at Masteros was A5, the best of the best. Right. And that was Wagyu. Wagyu is always A5, right? No. Wagyu can still be graded A through C and 1 through 5. Oh, it can. Okay.

So there are. So what determines Wagyu? Wagyu is just the broad term that the world is adopted to describe a really richly marbled meat. True Wagyu is from Japan. The Wagyu cows are bred in special farms. They're given really luxurious, fatty lifestyles. They get massaged.

Farmers massage their cows. These are the best, fattiest wagyu meats. Now, there's Australian wagyu. That's what you got. That is close to the Japanese level of marbling, but it's still more of your traditional red meat bright red steak. Okay, so you're you're basing this off of the fat distribution changing the coloration on the inside.

Yeah, so that kind of will that. And with the Australian, it doesn't mean that it's right. And then there's American Wagyu. That is even farther from the original Japanese. American Wagyu is a cross between a Japanese Wagyu cow and like a black angus cow. Interesting. So, it's still fatty and marbled, but less so than the Japanese version. But it's more fatty and marbled than your traditional American steak.

All I know, whatever they did to my steak, made it one of the best I've ever had. You got of the three Wagyu's, you got the middle marbling zone. So it was a good cross between meat and melt in your mouth fat. It was so tender, the fat was so well distributed throughout this thing. It was delicious, it was easy to cut, nothing on it was tough. There was not a single bad bite.

Usually when you get a steak, there's always a spotter too where you're like, eh, I could tell I got like a tougher spot and you forgive it. You're like whatever. That did not exist on my steak. I ate every square inch of this steak, not in one sitting. I took some home and unfortunately, I am not a good as of a cook at home. So it wasn't as good the second time. But man, that first bite, I entered Flavor Vana. My eyes rolled back in my head, and I needed a garment to pull myself back into reality.

And I asked for a little bit of char, and I thought the char on the outside was perfect for my liking. It wasn't too much, but it added just that texture, a little bit of that burn mark taste. Yes. Just a little bit. This is a 10 out of 10 steak for taste. Yes. Just a little bit. This is a 10 out of 10 steak for me.

I wouldn't call it the single best steak I've ever had, but it's probably top four. And one of those other four was a ribeye from this same master as like five or six years ago. So. I'll give you a steak a nine and a half out of 10. It was excellent. Still probably top five lifetime steaks for me.

The only thing that would have pushed it farther is char. I'm a crust lord. And crust lord, you and I just have different preferences on this because I thought I was like, I probably could have done with a little less personally. Eh, no, I actually, I feel like they got it perfect. But if I were to go in a direction it would have been on the side of a little bit less

and I even got it perfect, but if I were to go in a direction, it would have been on the side of a little bit less. And I even got it light. Now, we also did get some steak sauces with this, and I just want to touch on those before we talk about your steak. There was like a Bernadis sauce, which I thought was very good. I gave it a seven and a half out of 10. Oh, I didn't, you didn't write that one. I didn't write that one. I only have the rating for one sauce.

There was a peppercorn sauce. It had like a sweetness to it. I thought it was really fantastic. I gave it a nine out of ten. That was a really sweet cream probably. Yeah. And then there was like a horse radish sauce. Horse radish, yep. It was horse radish. Horse radish is so good though.

I really like it. And then what was the other one? Bone marrow butter. This was, oh, they took their 10 out of 10 butter already and added more savory to it. Oh my God. The idea of bone marrow freaks me out. Bone marrow is just pure meat butter. So add meat butter to amazing butter, like butter orgasm.

Butter orgasm. Butter orgasm. Maybe I'll try it next time I'm out, but yeah, the name scares me. I'm not the most adventurous eater. Mixing that with the mashed potatoes. Oh, that was amazing. Putting it on my steak was amazing. I would just eat this. I mean, we have established in the past that you will just eat cups of butter. You did it at Red Lobster, you psycho.

So I got the 10 ounce Japanese Miyazaki A5 New York Strip. It was a 10 out of 10. Best steak of my life. The flavor profile for this was not, it wasn't for me. Like, I still had it rated very highly. I thought it performed very well. But as soon as I took it by the my steak and your steak, I felt like I ordered the right one for my liking. The right one for me too.

I liked that cutting this was zero effort. Like the weight of the knife was enough. I didn't have to put any pressure on. Yeah. And the crust was delicate. It almost felt like bacon. It had that really like a crumble, the crumble, give to it.

It's like the fat rendered just perfectly. When I bit in, it literally just fell apart and melted in my mouth. Yes. This was just, oh. Okay, so. Wait, I don't know how to describe it. Put your pants back on, get rid of it.

My teeth go into it and it just disintegrates. Yeah, just, this very glorious meat butter falls apart and just runs all over my mouth. It's, we're not making food porn, stop it. It's just taking me to that place right now The savory and refined beefy flavor didn't overstay its welcome. I think that's what you're picking up on Like I would have expected this to be a lot stronger lingering greasy flavor But as soon as I swallowed it my palate was clean and ready for the next bite Nice also the portion was reasonable anymore Just would have been richness and this was just the perfect balance between portion and decadence

Sure, I will have the steak again One day one day you have it on a pedestal. It's like a the rose inside the glass thing and the beauty in the beast You just have that steak and it's just like it keeps me alive Moving on before we get to dessert, I did order that drink that Kevin brought to me. They called it Mastro's Punch. It had orange and blackberry in like a martini glass. He came out, shook it up.

It had bubbles. I think that's dry ice. Yeah. It kept creating bubbles for like 15 minutes consistently. Did he tell you to not drink the dry ice? He never said the word dry ice. You're, I'm assuming it's dry ice because I don't know what else would have done that.

Yeah, I don't know either, but very fun, very fruity. I give it an eight out of 10. I'd get that drink again. Master of punch, tasty. And then we got to the part that, I mean, this is gonna factor into service as well. You and I were debating the desserts. Buttercake, lemon blueberry buttercake,

or something that doesn't have dairy because I have to be in the car with you after. And as we were debating which one to get, our waitress, Brittany called an audible. They had a plate brought out that had happy birthday Garrett written on it. And she got us both the butter cakes. And one of them was on the house.

So we got to try the lemon blueberry one and the standard one. And boy, were these fantastic. Like this place is known for the butter cakes. All of the research I'm doing on this place point right to the butter cakes. Yes. I gave two 10 out of 10 ratings to both of these. I did do. They are the best desserts we've had on the podcast.

By far. By a pretty nice margin. Yeah. This was fantastic. And you know, it was very nice that it had the happy birthday, stuff to it. I think they could tell that you don't like the attention because they didn't sing to you or anything. They put a candle in, kind of left it to us.

Which was nice. Kevin was telling us that they import the ice cream from Chicago. Daily, I don't every day. That's crazy. But, okay. Yeah. It was special.

It held its shape. It didn't melt as quickly. Right. It was very good vanilla ice cream. And the lemon blueberry infusion was kind of the main difference between the two. But like even without it, the standard butter cake, I think I prefer it a little bit more,

just because it had that more pure butter cake flavor. But they're both 10 out of 10 fantastic desserts. There was a really crisp shell around the butter cake. What they do is they put sugar on it and they brulee it when it's done. It is such a great way to do it. By the way, I was a little bit mad that we got two butter cakes because I was so full.

You and I were debating, do we do a dessert? We always do a dessert, but man, we've had so much steak, we've had such big portions, we had the crab cakes, the crudo, we had a lot of stuff, we were debating, we even get a dessert and then they bring us two and I'm like, oh, they're like, hey, don't worry, this is great with coffee the next morning. And my god, it was, yeah, no, I took the regular one,

you took the lemon blueberry one. I just popped it in the oven the next morning, ooh, the crisp shell returned to it. I popped mine in the air fryer and it did work. It was good. Also, I got a shot of espresso. Yeah. So, things I like about this, they automatically made it

restreto. So, what that means, it's a shorter poor on it. It's more concentrated with a smaller volume. I like that it's a default. Sure. It took a little too long to come. I like that as a default. Sure. It was good. It took a little too long to come out of the table, in my opinion. Mm-hmm. I like my espresso just to be steaming hot right out of the machine, right to the table.

Oh, see? It's not like you were waiting too long, but it cooled too long. It cooled too long. I think it might have waited up by the bar for maybe a minute or two. Mm-hmm. There was an acceptable amount of crema on it and it had a mild, slightly buttery, nutty flavor. Oh, sorry, speaking of crema,

they had a house made whipped cream with the butter cake and also just 10 out of 10 of the crema. Yeah, I tried it. It was like, I piled it on when I made it back the next day. All right, sorry, back to your espresso. The espresso, six out of 10, it could have been better if it was fresher, or if they maybe I'm expecting too much with this,

but I'm kind of disappointed that they don't have like custom roasted beans. Like these were early beans imported from Italy. Okay, cool, decent bean, but I don't know. There's something about when you go get a shot of espresso and the barista does like, hey, we just roasted these beans special the other day. What do they taste like?

What do you think of our roast? How do we do? Like I went to an old coffee shop for every new batch they did. They let me taste it. Like, Oh, this one's more buttery than the last. I like this. Go to one fancy restaurant and all of a sudden, Garrett, you're just like, hmm, why didn't they have a hand torch at my table

and roast them in front of me? I'm actually a huge coffee snob when it just hits. Garrett's a fossil little boy. Garrett's a fossil little boy. Baby Garrett's a fossil little boy. Garrett's a fossil little boy. Okay, two thumbs up for food.. Okay, two thumbs up for food, easy. Yeah, easy two thumbs up for food. I don't see the needed ones.

This is the most. Two thumbs up food ever. This may be the best meal we're ever going to have on this podcast. We'll find out. But I don't see this being dethroned for a while. Yeah, I don't either. So we got to attach a score to this place. Before we do, let's go to Yelp and see what other people are saying in this week's

Yelp from Strangers. We need a little Yelp, a little Yelp from Strangers. A one star, two star, three star, four by eye. So get a little Yelp, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little and five star Yelp reviews from the very location that we dined at. At which we dined, that's more grammatically correct. Yes, the exact location at which we had our meal. You're a loser. Three star review. I'm going to start us right in the middle with a three star review. This is from Ida C, two months ago. I went in with high-ish expectations because I did enjoy my experiences at the Costa Mesa

location. My husband booked a reservation for our anniversary and we were seated at a high-top table at the room with the bar. It was so loud there. Besides the amazing live singer who was also playing the piano, there was absolutely no romantic vibes in there at all. What other than the extremely romantic music being played live for you, there was no romance? And then she goes on to use a lot of suggestive language.

We ordered the creamed corn. Lobster mashed potatoes, filet sticks. The creamed corn was average. I have had better creamed corn elsewhere. It tasted almost undercooked. The lobster mashed potatoes were decent but did not blow my mind. The petite filet did fill me up. Oh damn I don't. But also did not blow my mind. Slow down. It just seemed like your regular surf and turf restaurant if you ask me. I won't recommend this place for a romantic dinner.

It just seemed like a place for co-workers to gather after work. I'm sorry, I won't recommend this place for a romantic dinner. It just seemed like a place for coworkers to gather after work. I'm sorry, I didn't realize you're going to Mastro's to fuck. Like, well, to be fair, if you're paying that much money and you're on a date, y'all better be getting it on. Like Garrett and I did when we got back. Oh, no, we did it in the restaurant. Yeah, yeah. No, I just think it's so funny to be Oh, no, we did it in the restaurant. Yeah, yeah. Uh, no, I just think it's so funny to be like,

this place didn't make me horny. Three stars. That's literally what the review was. Not horny enough. Three stars. Yeah, thanks, Aida. Ha. Two star review.

Here we go. You know what, let's cool it down a notch. We're getting a little hot and heavy. Yeah. Let's go with the two star from Vince H. 11 days ago. If you're interested in a ritzy spot with lackluster food, this is the place. Hmm. It sells itself as a higher tier restaurant and it looks the part on the surface, but the

food itself lacks it. The ambiance is so loud and the music being played doesn't fit the surroundings. Our waitress was above the only thing that was redeeming. We had sides of mashed potatoes, creamed corn, and Brussels sprouts on the side with our entrees on a plate. We were then served the sides like children. And the man splattered the sides all over the meat and plate. Just why? all over the meat and plate. Just why? Not to mention, half the sides were so runny, so now our steaks were drenched in creamed corn and mashed potatoes.

That just sounds kind of gross. Yeah. The steak itself was a perfect medium rare, but they served the steak on a blistering hot plate, so about five minutes into eating my steak, it was almost well done. There's no way. Yeah, that's an absolute lie.

Yeah. What a joke. You're a way. Yeah, that's an absolute lie. Yeah. What a joke. You're a joke. You're a joke, Vinci. Jotum. The sides themselves all act any sort of flavor, rather unfortunate for such an upscale place and prices.

I will say the sides were across the board, the weakest part of the full meal, but almost everything else got tens for me. So it's kind of, you know, just got tens from me, so it's kinda, you know. Just enjoy the food. Yeah, it's good. You can go download our full Yelp from Stranger's segment at our Patreon.

The link for that is in the description of this episode or you can go to patreon.com slash find outing podcast. And we're now offering a one week free trial. So what do you have to lose? Go check it out. People have wild opinions and we get to read oh so many of them. Thanks! Final rating.

Okay, well we've heard what other people have to say, regardless of how horny they were. Now you and I, not horny, need to give our rating. I actually am pretty horny up for this place. This was such a good meal, a great experience. The service team rolled out the red carpet for us. Great ambiance. Far and away, the best meal we've had. Best place we've been. 9.56 from me. Wow. Don't even act surprised. No, no, no. Yeah. This was a fantastic restaurant. We came into this expecting like, okay, this will be above nine. Yeah. And we were right. Like all of these say, horny, yelp reviews, they got me a little worked up right now. Yeah. I was also pretty worked up at the restaurant.

This was, you were moaning so much. This could potentially have been the best meal of my life. Really? It's close. Yeah. It's getting there. It's up there for me. The best service we've had on the podcast. Yep. The atmosphere was as great as it is. And the food. Oh my God. Put that voice away. I can stop with your stop with your boner voice. Give me a score. Okay. Nine point three four. This is very sexy. Nine point three four. So when we put those together,

Mastero's Ocean Club goes on the Chuchki of mediocrity at 9.45. Wow. Easily supplanting our previous leader, Rainforest Cafe, which feels silly to say in the same breath as this. Hey, they're both owned by the same parent company. Is that true? Yeah, oh, those are the rest effects. I didn't hear Rainforest. I didn't say, the same breath as this. Hey, they're both owned by the same parent company. Is that true?

Yeah. Oh, those are the rest effects. I didn't hear rain forest. I didn't say, I thought I said that. I zone out half of what you say. I zone out half of what I say. As you're saying it. Yes.

All right, well, clearly this was not in the four to six zone of mediocrity. Not at all. I had to wear a Pokemon card suit at your behest due to the fine dining bylaws. There needs to be a punishment. We need to go to the You Must Bowl and figure out what we're going to do at the next restaurant. But here's the thing. Veevy, our guest from last time, is the one who selected Maastros.

So she should be the one to be punished by the you must know. But we're not gonna do that. Actually, you know what? If we ever have her on again, she's getting punished. She's gonna get a you must-ball punishment. She won't know it's coming unless she listens to this. So good chance she'll know. So I am going to actually dig into the fine-dining by-laws.

Once again, the thing you used. Oh, you know those exist, too? I do know that they exist. Is this the first time you've ever opened them? No. In fact, it is the second time I have opened them because I made some revisions. What? You're not allowed to do that. I absolutely am. Fine Dining podcast bylaws article one section one sentence one. Did you change the first change? It's literally how it opens in the event that a restaurant is selected by a guest. The you must pull punishment defaults to Garrett. Objection over rule.

You can't just go and change the bylaws, let alone the first sentence. You're not even ex- The bylaws no longer explain who or what we are or how we do things. It's just turned into let's punish Garrett. Yes. Draw from the bowl. Pine. What the fuck is this?

At the next buffet, you must crab walk to and from the buffet? What? Is that like the, you get down on the back of your hand, and you like, waddle forward? How, okay. So, I understand the process, but how am I supposed to get the food from the buffet back to the table if I'm crab walking? This was just balanced this on my stomach. Balance it in your teeth.

I don't know. This sounds like your problem to figure out. Does that sound familiar, Garrett? Does that sound like what you said to me last time? All right. Well, I guess we got to figure out where we're going next time. And you know what? If I win the headline game, I'm gonna pick a buffet.

I'm gonna make this come to fruition immediately. So let's figure out where we're going next and we'll play the headline game. The rules of the headline game are as follows. Garrett will present three headlines to Michael that include this week's restaurant. They can be made up, or they can be actual headlines. If Michael can correctly guess, if at least two out of three are real or fake, he will get to select next week's restaurant. However, if Garrett stumps him, he'll select again.

Are you ready to play, fellas? Yes, I am ready, and just to clarify, since the you must-bowl punishment defaulted to you, so does providing the headline, so at the very least, you've got Homefield advantage. Okay, number one. Driver who crashed Tesla into Mastro's Steakhouse on El Paseo, not injured, firefighter's say. That feels too perfectly constructed to be a real event. I'm gonna say false. Okay.

Next one. I feel like you put a lot of work into crafting that. A grave mistake. How a Mastro's Steakhouse dinner changed the course of one-star athletes career. I'm also gonna say false. Okay. Number three, man arrested after stealing raw steak from Costa Mesa Mastros, Orange County Sheriff's Department

reports. Mm. Yeah, I'm gonna say false as well. I'm gonna say you made up all three. Well, okay. The first one, driver who crashed Tesla into Mastro's take house on El Paso not injured firefighter's say. You guessed false?

That was true. Okay, of course, that was the boring one. Some dude crashes his Tesla into a Mastro. Here's the thing, it felt too much of a stereotype. I was like, that was the boring one. Some dude crashes his test late, doing the Astros. It felt too much of a stereotype. I was like, this has to be true, but it so has to be true that I thought you made it up. Now the next one, a grave mistake. How a Master of Stakehouse dinner changed the course of one star athlete's career? You guessed false, that is false.

Okay. One in one. And the last one, man arrested after stealing raw steak from coastamasum Astros orange County Sheriff's Department reports you guessed false that is false Yeah, it was the inclusion of the word raw. I feel like raw just The idea of raw meat encapsulates your essence. Yeah, I am raw meat. You are raw meat. OK, so two out of three, I did win the headline game.

I do get to select where you get to crab walk around the buffet. As soon as you select a buffet. Oh, I don't have the fuses of a buffet. No, no, no, no, I'm OK. We can just push this off to the future. I'm going to choose a buffet. No, no, no, no, we're good. Well, we need we need to the future. I'm gonna choose a buffet. No, no, no, no, we're good. Well, we need whip lash.

We already got whip lash from Sizzle to Maastros. We gotta whip it back. Remember Gatty Town? I don't wanna remember Gatty Town. Remember Gatty Town. No, some mental energy right now. I want you to get in Gatty Town. I'm gonna remember you ever again.

We're gonna go to as much of an equivalent as I think Los Angeles can offer Shakey's pizza parlor. Okay, I've never had a bad Shakey's experience. Although I've never eaten there in person, I've gotten delivery from that. Yeah. Okay. Well, they do have like a little arcade, doesn't compare to Gatti Towns arcade.

Okay. There are much smaller footprint, or I guess handprint in your case. So you're gonna have to crab walk to and fro the buffet at shaky's pizza parlor. I imagine I'm gonna be spilling a lot of pizza on the floor. Don't make this their problem. You figure something out. I just like, okay, so I've got a plate on my stomach

as I'm crab walking. I have to stay really still or else that thing's just gonna tip off. Oh, I hope you can be really still. All right, well, that does it for this week's episode of the fine dining podcast. We did not find the perfectly mediocre 5.00 out of 10 restaurant. So we do need to keep looking. Don't forget to follow us on our social media at fine dining podcast on Instagram on TikTok.

Send us an email, find dining Podcast at gmail.com, send us anything you like. Check out our Patreon for more episodes. We're making new episodes every month. Last month, we did the LA County Fair, which we actually put some of that episode out for free because it was such a massive undertaking to, I guess, experience all we did

and tell those stories. Well, we didn't find it. We'll see all next time. Have a fine day. The search continues. We still need the perfect fine. The search continues. Life can't subscribe.

The search continues. Our journey did not conclude. And like and subscribe to search continues Our journey did not conclude The mother and the search continues Rattles and I do's review And hey, while you're at it, why don't you go ahead and make it five stars Come on Follow us on TikTok.

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