Fine Dining - American Girl Cafe History feat. Katie Molinaro (Eat It Katie, Comedian, & Foodie) [Part One]
Episode Date: June 26, 2024Lunch at a restaurant for dolls!! Comedian and food influencer Katie Molinaro doesn't hesitate to join for a silly dining experience, so we hit up the American Girl Doll Store Boutique & Bistro Katie... grew up with a doll she didn't vibe with This week's Secret Menu mini-game: Unfun Children's Toys American Girl was founded by a cancer-surviving textbook writer who used her royalties to make this brand explode "The first experiential dining experience" The brand forayed into movies while inspiring aspiring filmmakers to make American Girl stop-motion animations A guy fails to realize that this place just simply isn't for him in this week's Yelp from Strangers "Fine" Dining is now on video! Head on over to my YouTube to watch this episode! Music by: James McEnelly (@Ramshackle_Music) Theme Song by: Kyle Schieffer (@JazzyJellyfish) Segment Transitions Voiced by: Sandy Rose "Fine" Dining is on Patreon! Get an extra episode every month (New Patreon episode drops 6/30: the No. 3 seed in this year's Septemburger tournament, Freddy's Frozen Custard & Steakburgers with my buddy and perennial dining-mate, Herbert Amaya), extended Yelp from Strangers segments every other week, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, and more! Patreon Producers: Sean Spademan, Joyce Van, & Sue Ornelas Get the 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com! Send in your American Girl stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com. Follow the show on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast Follow Katie on Instagram & TikTok @eatitkatie Let me know where I should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, PodcastAddict, Overcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. I read every one! Next week on "Fine" Dining: The American Girl Cafe Review [Part Two]! My new friend Katie Molinaro is back to break down what it's like to eat at an experience meant for children as an adult. Ever work at American Girl? Send your stories to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.
Transcript
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On this unprecedented episode of the Fine Dining Podcast.
Historically speaking, there was no Ron Weasley.
There wasn't.
Oh, geez.
My girlhood dreams have come true.
I would not want to learn economics from Elmo.
Hello and welcome back to the Fine Dining podcast, the search for the most mediocre
restaurant in America.
I'm your host, Michael Ornelas, and this is the show where I'm looking for the perfect
five point double zero dining experience out of 10, the perfect middle point where good
becomes bad.
And I'm doing the work because nobody else is.
This week I am joined by Katie Molinaro, also known as Eat It Katie.
It felt like you were the perfect person
to take to such an experiential dining situation
as American Girl.
So welcome to the show.
Thank you.
Thanks for having me.
Yeah.
This episode, this is part one of,
we went to the American Girl Cafe,
and we'll get all into reviewing that in next week's episode, of we went to the American Girl Cafe
and we'll get all into reviewing that
in next week's episode, but for now,
we're gonna dive into the history of the franchise,
we're gonna pick some Yelp reviews,
and then we'll be all set for our review next week.
Are you ready?
I prepared.
Yeah?
Yeah, I looked at the notes.
You looked at the notes?
I cared.
You read the email?
I read the email. You were at that. I cared you read the email. I read the email
You're on the blast. Yeah, awesome. Well, we'll
We'll jump in. All right, let's do it intro music
The table is ready
Have you tried our chicken breast serving pancakes and ribs? I recommend the spaghetti
We're here to satisfy, not to impress.
Your table is ready.
Complementary butter and bread.
These walls have wrote signs.
Knick-knack cowboy hat.
Good luck at autographed guitar.
Some grab from your city.
Behold the tchotchke of mediocrity.
Fine dining.
Just fine dining.
Fine dining. Two letters on the sign are shining. So, before I jump in here, do you have a connection or like a history with American Girl?
Did you grow up with these dolls?
Oh yeah, so I remember when there was like a catalog that came out where you could get
the dolls and you could pick through to see which doll you wanted.
And every doll that I wanted,
my mom would try to steer me in another direction
to the doll that she secretly wanted.
So I would always be like,
but I want this one because she's cool.
Did she just want one that looked like you or something?
Yeah, she just wanted me to get Samantha
because it looked like me, but she was so boring.
Boring.
Boring.
You said the word.
You said the secret word, okay.
Oh.
You said the word that triggers the secret menu,
my new mini game.
We're gonna play a mini game, Katie.
I love games.
So boring was the trigger word,
and our topic this week is unfun children's toys.
Oh, how unfun.
So we're going to spend a minute just going back and forth trading.
And then you in the comments, just tell us who you think won this game.
Examples would be like stinky instead of slinky.
Sulphur B.
I'm burning the bad ones now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, stuff like that.
Just like an unfun version of a popular kid's toy.
We'll put one minute on the clock.
We'll go back and forth.
Pressure's on.
Comment ones that you come up with in the comments
and I'll send my favorite one a t-shirt
and the winner of last week's secret menu mini game comes from youtube user oh habanero habanero who submitted for kinky restaurants hentai feng instead of din tai feng it was right there in
front of us i can't believe i didn't see it, but that is honestly brilliant. Go ahead, hit me up, findiningpodcast.gmail.com
or DM me at findiningpodcast on Instagram and TikTok,
and I will hook you up with a fine dining t-shirt.
Everyone else, better luck this time.
Let's get to it.
I'll let you start.
Three, two, one, go.
Frisk.
Super Nintendo.
Botched operation.
My brittle pony.
It just breaks bones really easily.
Oh no.
West Hollywood bears instead of Care Bears.
It's like a...
Oh.
I get it.
That sounds fun actually.
Here's an unfun LGBT cisformers.
Oh.
It's just a truck that stays a truck.
Yeah, no one wants that.
Doesn't stretch Armstrong.
He's just a real stiff guy.
He's just there.
GI tract Joe.
Sorry, not sorry.
It seemed like a game for millennials.
Serious putty.
Dan Schneider's gag.
Trickle me down economics, Elmo.
I would not want to learn economics from Elmo.
And that'll do it for the secret menu.
Dumb.
I like that.
She just wanted me to get Samantha
because it looked like me, but she was so boring.
She is so boring.
You're like hanging out.
You don't have anything in common.
Yeah, I think she was like from colonial times and like.
Are you not?
No.
Like she was the only one that was like, I think she was colonial.
I don't really remember her.
I remember she liked horses.
She had brown hair and brown eyes,
and I think that's why my mom gravitated towards that one.
But I was really into Molly,
the girl who was like super into baseball and the 1940s.
Yeah.
I like really wanted her,
but my mom was like,
don't get one with glasses.
I did not grow up with these at all.
Literally my only correlation with these
is my niece has a collection of American Girl dolls.
My mom for Christmas, mom and dad,
got her like a first class airplane seat.
Oh yeah, I saw that in the store today.
They had to set up at the store,
but like literally just a doll kicking back
with like a flight attendant with like
all the fancy offerings and they even had someone else
who was like a different flight attendant
doing like the little pantomime thing that they do.
Oh yeah. Like the safety instructions and all that.
I mean, set them up early for success.
They built the scene, yeah.
Everyone should be a flight attendant, sounds great.
That's the messaging from an American girl.
Yeah, and so they have this whole store downstairs,
but upstairs is the cafe
where we had our little experience.
And before we get to that,
I do wanna dive into the history.
So are you ready to hear just a boatload of things
about the American Girl Cafe?
Yeah, the cafe itself or just American Girl in general?
The brand is in there.
I tried to make it cafe-centric, but it's also,
you know, there's not four pages on the cafe
that you can really find.
There's a lot of lore.
Okay, I'm ready.
All right, let's jump into this week's Eat Deets.
Eat Deets.
Eatery Details.
Eatery Details American Girl was founded in 1986 by textbook writer Pleasant T. Rowland.
Oh, that sounds pleasant.
Her name was Pleasant and she wrote textbooks.
And honestly, I can see it.
Like there's so much about these stores where it just feels like an assignment.
Right?
Yeah.
There's literally a, like a lounging chair
that is a book.
Right.
So.
Really sneaky way to get us to read.
Yeah, even, well, I mean, I guess we'll talk about it later,
but like the waiter was like trying to get us
to read like the history stuff on the menu.
Oh yeah, I didn't read that. I didn't either, but I did take a picture of it so we can read it together. We can read it later. But like the waiter was like trying to get us to read like the history stuff on the menu. Oh yeah, I didn't read that.
I didn't either, but I did take a picture of it.
So we can read it together.
We can read it later?
Okay, good.
Cause I refused.
I was like, I'm not reading the history
of this cinnamon roll.
You didn't even read the menu.
You just were like, I'm pointing at pictures.
Pretty much.
After an inspirational trip to Colonial Williamsburg,
Rowland had an idea to combine her love of American history
with children's toys to get young girls
excited about learning.
Yeah, okay, now I remember, yeah, Samantha was colonial.
That must have been the OG.
Didn't you say that one of the other ones you wanted,
you wanted because they liked books?
Oh, I liked it, I liked her because she liked baseball.
Well, I thought there was another one
when we were at the store that you pointed to.
Oh, Molly was the one I liked.
Gotcha.
Yeah, because she liked baseball in the 1940s.
I bet she chewed on chewing tobacco too.
I bet she was cool like that.
By that point in her career,
she'd saved $1.2 million in textbook royalties.
Wow.
The game that everyone's ignoring.
You want to hustle, right?
Textbooks.
Yeah.
And she bet it all on her business.
I mean, good bet.
Still around.
Hunt, $1.2 million.
Like, what?
I don't know how you say that.
Are you writing the Scientology?
Like, did she write Dianetics?
What if she did?
Scientology gives you textbooks she write Dianetics?
What if she did?
Scientology gives you textbooks
for those who don't know.
Yeah, I didn't know that.
They flat out look like textbooks.
American Girl grew fast using direct mail marketing
and Pleasant was on a roll.
Even after she was diagnosed with cancer
in her second year of operation,
she claimed she never missed a day of work.
She says the work saved her life.
Which I wouldn't bet on that,
but she did make about $8 million that year, so.
Throughout it all, Pleasant's ultimate dream
was to open a retail store dedicated to American Girl.
She called the product a thinking girl's doll.
One that couldn't be sold through flashy 30-second
commercials,
not the kind of thing that would stand out
in a sea of other attractions at Toys R Us.
But I get what she's going for.
She's going for, you know, she wants to teach
children history through dolls.
And I feel like she was very effective in doing that.
And then when you look at the American Girl dolls now,
they're like pretty insane.
They don't really teach people about
much, much except like first class on an airplane.
There's so many cashiers.
There's like an ice cream shop cashier.
There's like a Starbucks barista.
Yeah, they do too many collabs.
It's a lot of labor jobs.
Yeah, there's even a Harry Potter collab and a Disney collab.
Those aren't even real people.
Historically speaking, there was no Ron Weasley.
There wasn't. Look it up.
I think you can find like seven or eight books that say otherwise.
Oh, no.
In 1998, she made her dream a reality.
The flagship American Girl store opened in Chicago,
as Pleasant called it a Mecca for American Girl.
Wow.
Only in 1998 has it been around?
Well, she started the company in 1986, but the store was 98.
So it took her 12 years to go from mail
to like a brick and mortar store.
Wow.
Yeah. It was more brick and mortar store. Wow.
Yeah.
It was more than just a store.
It was 35,000 square feet with a stage
for musical performances, which were discontinued in 2008.
Which sounds like there was like an incident.
Oh, there had to have been.
Discontinued.
Yeah, no more musical performances here.
A doll hospital for repairs and a restaurant too.
Go figure, that's why we're here.
Yes.
Some claim the restaurant marks
the first experiential dining spot ever.
Whoa.
Which I'm skeptical.
I disagree.
But 98, I don't know.
I mean, I was 10 in 1998.
I can't tell you about experiential dining.
Well, I guess, I think Rainforest Cafe predated that
and that's very experiential.
Yeah.
Are we talking about American restaurants?
Cause there are just so many themed cafes in Japan
and there have been forever.
So it's just like, I don't know if I believe that.
Cause Maid Cafe has been around forever.
It is kind of the American way to claim
you did something first though.
Yeah.
But I would believe it's the first-
Dahl restaurant for sure.
Yeah.
Either way, it was definitely ahead of its time.
Yeah.
Once the Chicago store was open, Pleasant felt she'd accomplished her mission.
At the end of 1998, she sold American Girl to Mattel for $700 million, which is kind
of like an all-I-do I do is win story for her.
Yeah.
Wow.
She's straight up.
She's really killing it.
Since her departure, a lot has changed.
It's funny how she wanted to compete with Barbie.
She wanted to be like, no, we're different now.
Anyway, Barbie's going to buy us.
Yeah, basically.
Oh yeah, Mattel is Barbie, huh? Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, the focus on historical figures has diminished
and more modern characters have been introduced
with a range of contemporary occupations
in the vein of Barbie.
You can now also order custom dolls
that look however you want within reason.
Within reason.
Within reason.
It's not one that I chose, but one of the Yelp reviews that I saw Within reason. Within reason. Within reason.
It's not one that I chose, but one of the Yelp reviews that I saw
was really coming down on how woke this company has become.
Which to me is just,
they're upset that there's representation.
They don't like seeing women with colored hair or.
But like they didn't take away the white girls.
Right, there's still plenty.
They're just like, oh, here's every race.
And people are like, oh no.
How dare.
We don't want that.
She said it.
Yeah, he's gonna take that out of context.
I'm like, every race, we don't want that.
And she's gonna cut to me doing that over and over again.
Just gonna be a social clip of just that on loop.
I'm like, oh no.
But you're able to do that because most dolls
use the exact same face cast.
In total, there are eight casts,
but with a few exceptions,
they all have the same face shape.
Right.
Which they can just plug in whatever they need
to look like whatever they want and.
Yeah, but what if I was born with half a face?
There are people.
It would be woke to make that.
Yeah, they wouldn't want that.
I did see a bald one though.
I saw a bald one, I saw a really short haired one.
Yeah.
Not a pixie cut, but yeah, just very short.
Right.
While the theaters have stopped performing
the American Girl review,
some locations have added wellness centers,
basically make-believe spas for the dolls.
It's pretty cute.
You can put little cucumbers on their eyes
and do their hair and stuff.
They had a salon and nail a boutique.
They did.
We could have scheduled manicures.
Yeah, one of the guys offered to do my hair
and he said that he pierced a three year old's ears
recently.
Yeah.
He told me that just-
Like as a brag?
I just out of the blue, I didn't ask.
I did not ask.
Hey, I pierced a three year old's ear
just a few minutes ago.
I know, and he was like, he was pretty crazy
and I was like what it was pretty crazy,
and I was like, what?
What?
Like crazy, was there a mishap?
Why are you telling me this?
Anyway, what a nice man.
In addition, they also have a YouTube channel,
which has ruined my recommendations page,
with a variety of content including stop motion stuff
and heartwarming short films.
American Girl stop motions are actually
a pretty popular niche on YouTube,
which is like an entry point for young filmmakers.
So that comes along with several full length movies
with stars like Shailene Woodley.
At age 14 she starred in 2005's Felicity,
an American Girl adventure. Felicity, I remember Felicity.
Had a movie.
Maybe Felicity was the one into horses.
I don't remember.
Well, today it was Lila.
They're all into horses.
They just love horses.
Some were even executive produced by Julia Roberts.
She did three TV movies and one Kit Kittredge,
an American Girl, actually had a theatrical release in 2008.
Oh, which like for Julia Roberts to be into American Girl, I wonder if it's is she a mom?
And I don't know a lot about her.
Like it's got to be through her daughter because 1986 this company started.
It's not like Julia Roberts grew up with her childhood having American Girl.
Right. Had her been her child.
It's not like Julia Roberts grew up with her childhood having American girl dogs.
Right, it hadn't been her child.
In 2020, the company released a collaboration
with Swarovski Crystals, a $5,000 American girl doll
hand embellished with crystals on her dress.
Yikes.
Five grand for a doll.
That's too much.
Which is about what they are anyway.
Right, they're like a hundred, a few hundred.
Yeah.
For like a base without even a outfit.
It's like $130 I think.
But.
Do they come naked at that price or do they have an outfit?
I think they come with a default outfit.
Okay, that's good.
And then you go through and you kind of shop for them.
Despite the efforts at modernization however,
American Girl is on the decline nowadays.
Being a part of a large brand like Mattel diluted its focus on education With efforts at modernization, however, American Girl is on the decline nowadays.
Being a part of a large brand like Mattel
diluted its focus on education,
and the digital era hasn't been kind
to the expensive brick and mortar locations.
The brand hit its fiscal peak in 2013,
and revenue has fallen every year since.
Ooh.
There are currently 18 stores throughout the US and Canada.
Wow, only 18.
Honestly, 18 is more than I expected.
Yeah.
I thought it would be here, Dallas, Chicago, New York.
Those are the ones that I just assumed it would have.
I wouldn't be surprised if Orlando had one
or something like that.
I feel like Orlando would have one.
There's no way that near Disney World they don't have one.
Yeah. Yeah.
They have a Crayola store.
Of course, they probably have an American Girl store.
That makes me sad.
All she wanted was to educate young women.
And then she was like, oh, 700 million.
See you later.
Deuces.
Yeah.
Rides off in a Corvette, throwing bags of cash off the top.
I mean, I would do it too.
Yeah.
Still, American Girl offers a shopping
and educational experience that can't really
be found anywhere else.
And nowhere is that more obvious than in its cafe, which
offers tea time options for parents, kids,
or nostalgia-hungry adults, which we are, well, I don't know.
Were you nostalgia-hungry, or were you just here because LOL?
I mean, slightly.
There's always a little bit of nostalgia for American Girl.
I remember growing up really liking it.
But I didn't like it for many years.
I think I only liked my American Girl doll
for probably for like a year.
Yeah, I'm trying to think of what the like boy equivalent,
I know Lego really dives into catering
to a more male equivalent, I know Lego really dives into catering to a more male audience I guess.
Yeah.
But, yeah I'm trying to think if there was an equivalent,
like I really liked Power Rangers as a kid.
Not customizable.
No, you couldn't get one that like looked like you.
Right.
Yeah.
At a fairly affordable price,
you can book a regular three course tea time
or dine with
a specific historical character's theme.
I didn't know you could do that.
Pick out like a menu catered.
I don't think we had that offering.
No, what are you going to do?
Eat fricking hard tack and Campbell's soup in the 1940s?
And you have to churn your own butter on the side.
Yeah.
They have afternoon tea, dinner and brunch options.
Tea includes small snacks like cinnamon buns,
little sandwiches and cakes and dessert.
We did eat the cinnamon buns.
We did. At lunch and dinner,
you can actually order entrees like pizza, pasta and salmon.
Brunch offers a limited selection of different entrees
that are more breakfasty, including pancakes,
omelets, and French toast.
I did not see a salmon option.
I didn't either.
I wouldn't have picked it either way,
but I just, there wasn't salmon.
Maybe they've learned.
Yeah.
Maybe we're not the best place for salmon.
Like there was a quinoa bowl, and I was like,
I see what you're doing for these parents. They were not the best place for salmon. Like there was a quinoa bowl and I was like,
I see what you're doing for these parents.
And I had a club sandwich with whole grain bread, you know?
Yeah.
Healthy.
Like an adult.
There are special lunches to commemorate graduations
or memories with mom or dad and tons of special events.
Ice cream socials, painting and etiquette classes,
manicure days, et cetera.
Etiquette class is something that always just strikes me
in a, I don't wanna say inherently negative way,
but like it creeps me out.
Yeah, it seems like a very white thing to do.
Like I remember when I was in fifth grade,
I had just moved to Texas and everyone was talking
about how they went to Cotillion.
I was just about to say, yeah, C talking about how they went to Cotillion.
I was just about to say, yeah, Cotillion.
Cotillion was where everyone went to in Virginia.
Yeah, I missed out on it.
The idea that I was just like,
oh, I wouldn't want to go to that.
Did you do it?
No, but I heard of other people doing it.
Did you know that when you eat soup,
you're supposed to move the spoon away from you
instead of towards you when you eat the soup?
Why?
I don't know.
Etiquette.
Stupid.
Yeah.
We have evolved as a society past that and I'm glad.
Right.
These are traditions that I hope die.
Yeah.
Etiquette sucks.
Burp.
I wish I had one loaded.
I know, me too.
Damn. Damn.
Damn.
If you're really going for it,
you can also do a VIP American Girl cruise,
$150 a person, which begins at the American Girl store,
then transports guests via shuttle bus to Marina Del Rey
for a two hour cruise and brunch.
That seems very inexpensive.
I am skeptical that that's what it costs, but I also imagine it's for like
divorced parents with something to prove.
Yeah.
So.
Oh no.
Yeah.
What a depressing place.
They're really trying to do nice things.
I feel bad.
They are.
Yeah, bad.
It seems like tea time is more about the experience than the food itself.
Recently, the stores have become a popular party spot for influencers and wannabes.
I will.
Yeah, wannabe influencer.
I will say that I had American Girl on my radar
just solely to make a video.
Really?
Of the experience, yeah.
Before you got the bat signal from Fine Dining.
Yeah, before I got the invite from the Fine Dining podcast.
Yeah, that's funny.
But you can't go on your own,
you have to have between two and six people.
Party of one.
Can't do it, they won't let you do it. And have to have between two and six people. Party of one. Can't do it.
They won't let you do it.
And that's a good call, I think.
Yeah, because how are they gonna make those towers?
Yeah, you search it on YouTube and you'll see what I mean.
Page after page of 20 and 30 somethings
filming their most annoying visits.
I feel like we weren't that obnoxious. No, no, we were very good.
I could have been more annoying.
I decided not to be.
Do you ever, like, I don't know,
do you feel like you're ever a little bigger
than you should be?
All the time, because if I'm not,
if I'm just like my normal self on camera,
everyone's like, oh, you must be high,
or you look tired, or you blah, blah, blah. Like, what's wrong? You must be sad. I'm like, Oh, you must be high or you look tired or you blah, blah,
blah. Like what's wrong? You must be sad.
I'm like, I have to be like this for everything.
Wow. This is so exciting.
Otherwise people are like, did you like that?
I can't tell.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
One such influencer at Serena Carrigan on TikTok filmed herself taking an
American girl doll to the doll hospital to check her for STIs.
Weird to me, she thought it was hilarious.
Got a lot of views, she actually had her tea time comped
in exchange for making another video about it.
What?
They let her make a video where she checked the doll
for STIs, because I bet the people working there were not.
I would be appalled if I were them,
because they took it very seriously.
They did?
Yeah, I mean, the people that worked there
when we were there.
Oh yeah, no, I'm like wondering
if they took this seriously too,
like, oh my gosh, an STI, I must check it out.
American Girl says they don't condone the doll
engaging in adult activity,
but they welcome fans of all ages.
Some of the cafes serve mimosas and other cocktails.
Oh yeah, I did see margaritas on the menu.
Yeah, they had like a full little area.
I know, I was honestly surprised.
And to round things out, the influence of American Girl,
32 million dolls,, 32 million dolls,
over 32 million dolls sold since 1986.
It's a good chunk.
And 157 million American Girl books sold.
Wow.
That's a lot of books that no one read.
You didn't read any of the books?
I don't think so.
I read Baby-Sitters Club.
I was a big goosebumps guy. Oh, I was a big Goosebumps guy.
Oh, I loved Goosebumps.
Goosebumps were my jam.
I could kind of go into a fugue state
and just list every Goosebumps book
in their like numerical release order for a while.
It was like a party trick when I was a kid.
You know, when you're going to a bunch of parties.
Yeah, when you go to so many kids' birthday parties
and you do pull out that trick.
They're like, what's number 37?
I was like, oh, nightmare on something.
I don't know.
I don't remember them now.
Yeah, but you used to.
Had it.
Wow.
Impressive.
And that'll do it for this week's Eat Deets.
I want to get the audience primed and ready for our review,
but before they hear ours, we need to hear what other people are saying
about the American Girl Store in this week's Yelp from Strangers. star four or five. Yeah. So get a little yelp, a little yelp,
a little yelp from strangers.
A little yelp, a little yelp.
Give us those complaints while you literally
white and die.
Yelp.
Ah.
All right, this is Yelp from Strangers,
our segment where we turn to Yelp
and read out our favorite one, two, three, four,
and five star reviews
of the very restaurant at which we dined.
Do you mind if I start us off?
I don't mind, yeah.
One star review.
I'm gonna start us with a one star review.
Oh no, it's long too.
We're starting low.
This is from Joel G. from Claremont, California,
August 8th, 2008.
Oh.
Long time ago.
He's had 16 years to reflect on this review.
Let's just jump in.
Yeah, let's go.
One star Joel writes,
"'So here's the thing.
"'For my niece's seventh birthday,'
"'which means his niece is now 23.'
Oh my gosh. "'For my niece's seventh birthday,
my mom had the brilliant idea of taking her granddaughter
to American Girl Place to buy her a doll
and eat lunch at the cafe.
I'm very burpy after this meal.
Yeah.
I'm like holding in so many burps.
I've been burping a lot too.
Yeah.
I did only drink Diet Coke today and no water.
Very fizzy day.
That could have been it.
First off, the dolls are ridiculously ugly.
This guy really wanted some hot dolls.
Yeah, he's so used to Barbie in that unrealistic,
like Margot Robbie look that he won't settle for.
An ugly ass American girl doll. realistic like Margot Robbie look that he won't settle for.
An ugly ass American girl doll.
And at $100 a piece, this store is pretentious and overly elitist.
Rich little girls were scrambling about the store,
bragging about who had the best doll.
Worse were their mothers, who seemed to be a bunch of desperate housewives,
which at the time was a topical reference,
with nothing better to do on a Wednesday afternoon.
The cafe has five distinct seating times,
two lunch, one afternoon tea, and two dinner,
each of which you need to make a reservation
for a couple weeks ahead of time.
15 minutes prior to seating,
the crowd of little girls and mothers in the lobby
is unbearable.
Once in the cafe, parties are seated with their dolls.
Dot, dot, dot, yes.
Their dolls are given a place to sit.
Like, this isn't for you, dude.
And later given a plate and a cup
as if they're going to eat.
Yeah, it's the imagination.
It's for little girls, dude.
This guy wanted to go to Hard Rock Cafe so bad.
No part of him is even trying to relate
with what his niece liked, nothing.
Despite being the only man in the cafe,
I did not feel as if I was the most odd person there.
Across from my family, there was a table of four women
ranging from 25 to 45 years old.
There were no children with these women
and each of them had a doll sitting next to them.
No joke, all caps.
Like he's...
He's clearly upset.
He's processing.
Yeah.
Adult women eating lunch with their dolls. Disturbing.
The food was mediocre at best, way too pricey for what you get,
except the cinnamon crisps were pretty good.
The quiche was bland, the pasta was plain.
They do serve wine and champagne for adults,
but it was way too pricey.
For my niece, the table was set with a name placard
wishing her a happy birthday,
and I do have to say that the staff
did treat her as if she was a princess.
A little empathy from him.
Okay.
Overall, don't waste your money through,
I think he meant though.
I don't understand the fascination
with American Girl dolls.
There's a whole hoity-toity upper class charade
happening there.
If you're looking for a fun dining experience for kids, I suggest the
rainforest cafe or something along those lines.
Six people found this helpful.
14 people loved this review.
Oh, so Jules.
Do you think he sent it to his friends?
Guys, upload me.
Yeah, like his Reddit.
Guys.
Get me featured.
I want to be on the front page of the American Girl Yelp page.
Yeah.
Wow, Joel is something else.
Five star review.
Now, should we read a three star review or a five star?
Should we go to the top?
Up to you.
This is Candice L. from Fort Hood, Texas.
I want to read it as Candice. This is Candace L. from Fort Hood, Texas. I want to read it as Candace.
This is from 2007.
Even earlier than Joel.
Oh my, I love this place.
I grew up reading every book I kept my hands on in our school's library
and staring at the catalogs all day, dreaming about how happy life would be
if only I could have a Kirsten doll.
Oh no, Candice.
And now there's a huge store with a cafe and doll salon.
I'm 21, it still makes me so fucking excited.
I love dropping an F-bomb in your Yelp review
for American girl.
I'm so fucking excited.
Take it down a notch, Candi.
So now I have three dolls I set up in my room
and buy new outfits for on occasions.
Oh geez, my girlhood dreams have come true.
Exclamation point, exclamation point.
Five stars.
Five stars, Candace loved it.
Living her truth.
Yeah, she loved it.
She's close to my age too, she was 21 in 07,
I was 19 in 07, she's only two years older than me.
Her photo, I don't know if it's an updated photo,
but she looks like 40 in the photo.
I'm certain that she's probably, well I guess I.
You think she's an avid yelper, she yelps a lot.
Let's see.
Now I can't get out of the Candace voice, I can't.
She's written 114 reviews, I think that's enough.
Yeah, that's a lot.
To update it from time to time.
Yeah, that's a lot.
Yeah.
Wow.
Thanks Candace. Thanks Candace. Although as if she sent time to time. Yeah, that's a lot. Yeah. Wow. Thanks, Candace.
Thanks, Candace.
Although, as if she sent it to us.
Thanks, Candace.
You can go download our full Yelp from Strangers segment
at our Patreon.
The link for that is in the description of this episode,
or you can go to patreon.com slash fine dining podcast,
and we're now offering a one week free trial,
so what do you have to lose?
Go check it out.
People have wild opinions, and we get to read oh one week free trial. So what do you have to lose? Go check it out. People have wild opinions and we get to read.
Oh, so many of them.
Thanks.
All right.
Well, that's it for part one.
We've covered the history.
We've covered the Yelp reviews.
The table is set for next week.
We're going to talk about our experience
at the American Girl Cafe.
What a wild time it was.
Katie, thanks so much for coming on. Of course. Everyone go follow Katie on Instagram and TikTok
at eatitkatie.
Is there anything you wanna plug or shill or?
No, got nothing to plug, got nothing to shill.
Great.
Got nothing.
Love it.
Watch my stuff online.
Yeah.
That's all I have.
Watch her eat things.
Yeah.
You know, your username could also imply
that you just fall down a lot. I have a fear of eat things. Yeah. You know, your username could also imply
that you just fall down a lot.
I have a fear of falling and that I'll die from falling.
Anyways, you can follow me on Instagram and TikTok
at FindDiningPodcast.
Send me an email, finddiningpodcast at gmail.com.
You know, just say whatever, just say hi.
Say you like the show, say you hate the show,
say you like my hair, I don't care.
And go to my website, fine dining podcast dot com,
Patreon, that's there, if you want extra episodes,
all that stuff.
We'll see you next time, and in the meantime,
we're just gonna be sitting here waiting on our table.
Have a fine day.
["Waiting on Our Table"]
Waiting on our table, waiting on our table. The step is done and we had some fun.
Now we're waiting on our table, waiting on our table.
Join us next time we're stuck in line.
Waiting on our table, waiting on our table.
We're so hungry, tummy's grumbling.
Waiting on our table, waiting on our table
We gotta continue our search for mediocrity
Yeah
Waiting on our table, waiting on our table
We'll be waiting and dissipating
Waiting on our table, waiting on our table
We're swimming in this week, we're digging in
We're waiting on our table, waiting on our table
We've got an appetite, but just sit tight
Cause we're waiting on our table, waiting on our table
Search will continue when we see you next week
He, he, he, he
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