Fine Dining - Chipotle History feat. Zara Mizrahi (Stand-Up, American Dad, Family Guy) [Part One]
Episode Date: May 1, 2024The debut of a brand new game: The Secret Menu!! Michael hits a place about as Mexican as he is for Cinco de Mayo, Chipotle Mexican Grill with long-time friend and burrito enthusiast, stand-up comed...ian Zara Mizrahi Chipotle can't shake the stigma of having been owned by McDonald's Learn about the legendary Chipotle burrito coins in Eat Deets Zara wants to tithe her income to Chipotle Chipotle forayed into soul food, pizza, and burgers in other failed restaurant experiments The debut of The Secret Menu: this week's category is Chipotle-Borne Illnesses Corporate greed and tip culture have turned employees into panhandlers A Yelper finds it "off" when the Chipotle employee seems happy to be alive The full review comes next week! "Fine" Dining is now on video! Head on over to our YouTube to watch this episode! Music by: James McEnelly (@Ramshackle_Music) Theme Song by: Kyle Schieffer (@JazzyJellyfish) Segment Transitions Voiced by: Sandy Rose "Fine" Dining is on Patreon! Get an extra episode every month (just yesterday, I released April's episode where I hit Shari's Restaurant & Pies with first-time podcast 3-peat guest, my cousin Emma Danger), extended Yelp from Strangers segments every other week, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, and more! Patreon Producers: Sean Spademan, Joyce Van, & Sue Ornelas Get the 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com! Send in your Chipotle stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com. Follow the show on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast Follow Zara on TikTok and Instagram @zaramizrahi Let me know where I should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, PodcastAddict, Overcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. I read every one! Next week on "Fine" Dining: Chipotle Review [Part Two]! Zara returns to review her one true love: Chipotle burritos. We'll talk all about our lunch at this fast-casual juggernaut. Ever work at Chipotle? Send your stories to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.
Transcript
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From this point forward, the word cheese will be bleeped
because Michael finds it offensive.
Hello, and welcome back to the Fine Dining Podcast,
the search for the most mediocre restaurant in America.
I'm your host, Michael Ornelas, and this is the show
where I'm looking for that perfect 5.00 dining experience
out of 10.
Why am I doing it?
Because, I don't know, mediocrity should be celebrated,
and we need to know where does bad become good,
where does good become bad.
There is a flip over point and I'm out to define it.
Now if it's your first time watching the show,
I do two part episodes.
The first part we're gonna cover the history
of the franchise that I go to
and we'll read some Yelp reviews of the specific location
to prime you for our review next week.
Part two is just all about what we experienced
at the restaurant.
And I could not imagine a better person
to have taken to this specific restaurant.
I went to Chipotle and I brought,
first and foremost, a friend of mine,
but a kick-ass stand-up comedian.
You can see her in a lot of places.
You can hear her voice.
She does voice acting for American Dad,
for Family Guy.
And she's being very silent until I say her name.
And I realize I have that power,
and I kind of want to draw it out.
Zara Mizrahi. Oh, no!
No, I want to talk over my name.
No, I gotta talk over it.
Zara Mizrahi. Hello. Welcome.
Hello! Thank you for having me.
It's been way too long since we last saw each other
and it just felt very appropriate
to go to Chipotle with you and bring you on for this podcast.
It's like your literal home away from home
is the inside of a Chipotle.
If my soul were a restaurant, it would be Chipotle
and there are so many locations across the earth. So
I just feel really at home anywhere I go. All over. Home is where the burritos are.
And I just, I spread my spirit all over the place. I hated that verbiage. I don't like
it. I really didn't like the way I said it. This specific chain is one that I don't have a lot of love for.
I haven't been to that much.
The last time I did it was when I was doing a YouTube series called Michael's Spin on
Things that you actually guest starred for a swath of episodes.
Is that the right word?
A swath?
I hated that verbiage.
Turnabout fair play.
But I did an episode.
The premise of that show is I would review an item,
but then I would spin a wheel, and it would give me criteria
that is different than what the thing actually is to review it as.
So I reviewed Chipotle burritos as a water balloon fight.
So I got like 40 burritos, went to a park with a bunch of friends,
and we just pelted each other with burritos.
How did it do?
It was fun.
It was a little bit more impactful than a water balloon.
You mean like people went to the hospital?
No one went to the hospital, but I do believe that it drew blood from someone.
Couple concussions.
Couple concussions.
Chipotle packs a punch.
Anyways, this is also, take a walk with me
here. It's May 1st when this episode comes out and when part two comes out, it'll be
May 8th. And right in the middle of there, the holiday that makes the most sense for
Chipotle, Cinco de Mayo. It is the least Mexican Mexican holiday co-opted by Americans.
That is what Chipotle is.
That is what I am.
I'm a quarter Mexican.
You're kind of Mexican, but not in that you're not, but you are.
Right.
And I will not elaborate on that.
Yeah, I was going to say.
We're not going to tell the story.
Why would we do that?
My family's lived there for many, many, many, many generations now.
So they are Mexican and we grew up speaking Spanish.
But the blood.
The blood.
Yeah.
La sangre.
Yeah.
The carnitas.
I don't think you know Spanish.
No, I do.
Like the flesh.
Why did I say it like that?
Oh, I also want to bring up, my dad asks about you regularly.
I remember your dad very vividly when you were talking about how your dad has still
a full head of hair.
I was like, yeah, I don't ever, like if I had to choose a man who would never lose his
hair, it would be your dad.
Yeah.
And he's like the George Clooney of dads.
I mean, he's doping.
Fair. He's doping. Fair, fair. No, it would be your dad. Yeah, and he's like the George Clooney of dads. I mean, he's doping.
Fair. He's doping.
Fair, fair. No, your dad is so sweet.
He's so supportive of you.
But he often asks me like,
why don't you reach out to Zara?
Zara should come on your podcast.
What's Zara up to?
I love him.
Yeah, and I was just like,
that's not a bad idea.
So here we are.
Anyways.
This is all your dad's making.
He manifested this. This is the your dad's making. He manifested this.
This is the longest intro I've ever done.
So our table isn't ready.
It's gonna be a week before we eat, so to speak.
Theming, you know, gotta do the thing.
Gotta theme it up, yeah.
But we're gonna jump to our intro song anyways.
So see you in a second.
Your table is ready, follow me. Have you tried our chicken breasts? anyways so see you in a second The growth signs, knick-knack, cowboy hat, good luck cat, autographed guitar, some grab from your city Behold the tchotchke of mediocrity
Fine dining
It's just fine dining, fine dining
Two letters on the sign are shining
Neon flickering, irregular timing
Identify the perfect buy-in She's about to ten
Fine dining
Fine dining
Okay Zara
I have a burp coming
Great
Invite it in
I feel like I feel like the Chipotle came up and pulled it back down
It's like, no you don't It's like the Chipotle came up and pulled it back down. It's like, no, you don't.
It's like the ring girl.
It's like pulling someone out of the well.
That's Chipotle in your body.
It's the girl from the ring.
A lot of people would say that Chipotle actually tries to evacuate your body.
And it's like, not on my watch. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a permanent fixture.
This is why Chipotle is like home for you
because it resides in you.
It's trying to get itself back home.
Yeah, everyone makes like Chipotle diarrhea jokes
and I have never ever had an issue.
I have, but I just have diarrhea issues on their own.
So can we isolate it to Chipotle? I don't know. No, you can't know
I don't I don't know. That's not a no. It's a TBD in science to be diarrhea
To be dysentery
But if it's like a maybe not then it has to be a no until it's a yes, I don't agree I mean
a maybe not, then it has to be a no until it's a yes. I don't agree. I mean,
Don't give Chipotle the bad cred. It doesn't deserve it.
Okay. Zara, we're getting ahead of ourselves. We're talking about Chipotle right now,
but we need to go through Chipotle's backlog. We need to go through Chipotle's history.
Okay.
Do you want to learn about where it comes from?
The greatest addition to my life.
Yes, give me the, I wanna hear what led up to the movement
that shaped the world we're in today.
The bowel movement.
Right, we're gonna jump into this week's Eat Deets.
Eat Deets.
Eat Deets. Eat Deets.
In 1993, Steve Ells opened the first Chipotle Mexican Grill in Denver, Colorado, using a
loan from his father.
That's very Hispanic of him. The flagship Chipotle was in an abandoned ice cream store in 1993,
specifically one of Colorado's once-hopping Dolly Madison ice cream shops.
What a leap from ice cream to burrito.
Yeah.
I mean, you can hold both in a cone, maybe?
They're both holding...
Both will give you an upset belly if you have certain sensitivities.
Okay.
Els attended the Culinary Institute of America
in Hyde Park, New York,
and worked as a line cook for Jeremiah Tower
at Stars in San Francisco,
where he was inspired by the popularity of taquerias
and burritos in the Mission District.
Congrats.
To them.
Within a month, the original restaurant was selling over 1,000 burritos a day.
That's real charity right there.
Charity?
Yeah.
It doesn't matter if someone's paying for it or not.
The difference is it's like a service to the community to do that.
It is.
You have such rose-tinted glasses.
I have flower tortilla-tinted glasses. I have flower tortilla tinted glasses.
I love them.
I love burritos.
Why?
I feel like I brought in like a ringer on behalf of Chipotle who's going to like.
I'm Chipotle's hype man.
I thought that was that's what I was asked.
It is.
But given that I am not, I am always going to push back.
I don't expect you to change.
Okay. Yeah. Well, you have shit tinted glasses, my push back. I don't expect you to change. OK, yeah.
Well, you have shit tinted glasses, my friend, if you can't see the OK.
Let's not let's not get a let's not get hostile.
OK, fine.
McDonald's made an initial minority investment in Chipotle in 1998,
which allowed rapid expansion from 16 restaurants in 1998
to over 500 by 2005.
The burrito place that you love is like.
That's not true anymore, McDonald's actually.
Literally my next point.
What gets to walk that back?
But let me live in it for now.
You can cut out this stuff, right?
It's staying.
Look, I know they left, but I want to revel in the fact
that we had this over Chipotle for a while.
Yeah, you're right.
And in 06, yeah, McDonald's fully divested from Chipotle
as part of a larger initiative to focus on its core business
selling all its shares.
So that almost sounds like McDonald's gave up on Chipotle.
It was time to let their child spread their wings
on their own and to see if they can stand up on their own.
On their own, two burritos.
Yeah.
Two avocados.
Yeah.
What's interesting to me is I feel like I didn't hear
about McDonald's affiliation with Chipotle
until they were leaving,
and no one had the takeaway of they left.
Like I remember in like 07 was when I found out of McDonald's involvement in Chipotle.
And I used that against Chipotle despite the fact that the reason I heard about it is because they left.
That's like blaming an addict once they're clean.
It's like who does that?
Chipotle's legendary burrito coins distributed as rewards to loyal customers since 1998,
have gained popularity and value over the years.
While Chipotle still honors these coins for a free burrito, their rarity has made them
sought after collectibles, with prices sometimes reaching high levels on online platforms like
eBay.
I literally saw a lot of 12 going for $1,199.
So, 100 bucks a piece with $125 as the most I saw
for an individual burrito coin.
And it's just a little token from Chipotle
that says good for one free burrito.
Oh my God, I really became a Chipotle enthusiast
probably after this rewards
chapter of their legacy.
I saw coins from like 2020.
Well, here's the thing.
I love Chipotle so much that I actually actively
do not join the rewards program
because I want them to have all of my money.
I wanna, it's like tithing.
What is, a what? Tithing. What is a what? Tithing.
Are you making up words?
It's like when a member of a church has a designated portion of their income that just goes to the church.
Oh my God.
It literally feels like that.
That's exactly what I'm doing.
Yeah.
Tithing.
Now you learned.
It's such a weird word to say.
Yeah, tithing. T-I-T-H-I-N-G.
I feel like that's a word that on my Scrabble board I would think is real.
I would try to put it in.
And then someone calls you on it and they make you look it up and you're like, oh, it
is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So yeah, that's what I do.
I just want them to have all, like, what is it, like 7% of my income or something.
I think for the, I think Mormons, it's like 20%. Okay. I'll be Mormon about Chipotle. I think for the depend. I think Mormons, it's like 20 percent. OK, I'll be Mormon about Chipotle.
I think you are like you're there. Yeah, you're already.
In 1999, founder Steve Ells visited
concentrated animal feeding operations after being prompted by an article.
Horrified by what he saw, he shifted to sourcing from open range pork suppliers,
leading to both an increase in price and sales of Carnitas burritos.
Okay.
Alright.
Sorry.
Chipotle released its mission statement, Food with Integrity, in 2001,
emphasizing the use of naturally raised meat, organic produce and dairy without added hormones.
I love that. Good for them.
You're vegan. So like, yeah, I feel like the animal stuff you're like, but they're still serving them.
So I mean, it's it's like we killed less pigs this month. Like, cool. Yeah.
Yeah. But it's like it's it's actually I love pigs when they're alive. I think that's part of the issue.
Because I'm so like, there's just, I love that nose.
What a specific thing.
The nose is perfect.
I would have thought it would be the little spaghetti tail.
I love the spaghetti tail.
The wine cork opener.
But that fucking snout though. It's just unmatched.
In 2005, the company added the ability to order online from their website,
but Chipotle also accepts fax orders.
For both online and fax orders, customers proceed to the front of the line to pay for pre-ordered food.
In the year of our Lord 2024, we're still using fax machines.
I don't know how long ago this article was written,
but it states that they do accept fax orders.
Does anyone actually know how a fax machine works?
I'm convinced that even the inventors did not.
I, it literally, it-
No one mastered it and then it became obsolete.
But they work- But we relied on it.
Yeah, but they work better than printers. Yeah.
They're more reliable than actually printing a sheet of paper, which sounds
like printers don't work very often. And when they and when they do, you're like
amazed. And when you try to scan something and it just looks like it looked like you
x-rayed a piece of paper. Yeah, like it was already burned or something. Yeah. The Lord works mysterious ways with those fax machines.
In the 2010s, Steve Ells attempted to diversify Chipotle by creating
or acquiring several subsidiaries offering different cuisines,
including Soul Food, a restaurant called Soul Daddy,
Asian Cuisine, Shop House Southeast Asian Kitchen, Pizza, Pizzeria Locale, and
Burgers, Tasty Made. These are all restaurants that Chipotle's owner was like, yeah, let's
foray into these things.
I don't like when they do that.
I don't either. Stay in your lane.
Yeah, it's like Bob Marley had like 13 kids, but like no one listens to them. Like maybe someone's like, oh, I love Damien Martley, which I do.
But I wouldn't go to like soul daddy and be like, this is chipotle.
You know what I mean?
The chipotle of soul food.
Yeah.
The chipotle of pizza, the chipotle of burgers and the chipotle of Southeast
Asian.
Stop reaching into every cuisine trying to chipotle-fy it.
You know, just make chipotle. But yeah, chipotle ventured into Asian cuisine trying to Chipotle-fy it. Just make Chipotle.
But yeah, Chipotle ventured into Asian cuisine with Shop House Southeast Asian Kitchen,
opening its first location in Washington, D.C. in September 2011.
However, the concept did not perform as expected.
Wow.
Big surprise, leading to its closure in March 2017.
Thank God.
Had five and a half years.
In July 2016, Chipotle announced the opening of its first Tasty
Made Burger restaurant, aiming to diversify its offerings further.
Chipotle announced its exit from the pizza restaurant industry in July 2023,
closing all remaining pizzeria locale locations and dissolving the business
due to fierce competition. Yeah, no shit like.
There are so many pizza places.
There are also so many restaurants that Chipotle tried to open. They're like competing against themselves. Yeah.
Like let's open 20 restaurants and then none of them put them all on the same block.
Yeah. Like none of them are doing right.
And they're like, God damn that competition.
Yeah. It's like it's literally all you.
But like, I don't know who's opening a new pizza chain in 2024?
Yeah, it's pretty much done, right?
Yeah.
Because also Chipotle of pizza exists.
It's like starting a podcast.
It's like, I'm gonna put-
There's enough of them.
Cheese on bread, add some tomato sauce,
and maybe some vegetables or meat on top,
and it's gonna be fucking perfect.
People are gonna love this.
Yeah.
Parallel thought is a thing, though.
Yeah, but if you have like a parallel thought of something
that's existed for like a thousand years.
Like, goddamn, it's that subconscious mind
that just like tunes into everything
that everyone else is thinking.
Yeah.
In 2015, Chipotle faced challenges
with its carnitas supply due to animal welfare issues,
leading to a temporary removal from the menu. The company also stopped using genetically modified corn and
soybeans in their foods in the same year, claiming to be the first nationwide restaurant to do so.
That's part of what makes Chipotle so good to me is like, I feel like I can taste the realness of
like the lettuce and shit.
I know I sound like such a hippie,
but when I'm done eating a Chipotle burrito.
Do you ground?
Do you go out and touch your bare feet to the soil?
Yeah, on top.
No, but I stand on burritos and I let the bean,
I let the energy flow of the bean
just rise through the soles of my feet and my ankles.
Praise bean.
Yeah, praise bean.
Nice.
In 2016, Chipotle introduced chorizo to their menu, advertised as a low calorie option.
However, the advertised 300 calorie burrito actually contained 1,055 calories, leading
to a class action lawsuit.
Doi. Chipotle apologized, but chorizo hasn't returned to the menu since. 1055 calories leading to a class action lawsuit. Doy.
Chipotle apologized, but chorizo hasn't returned to the menu since.
Oh, that really took down that huge...
We took down big chorizo.
That sucks.
Oh, man. What do they have now?
It's like it's barbacoa.
Barbacoa.
Steak.
Steak, chicken, carnitas, sofritas. Barbacoa. Steak. Steak, chicken. Chicken, yeah.
Carnitas, sofritas.
So the carnitas are still there.
So just the chorizo was like a quick appearance.
It was like the McRib and now it's gone.
I've already said it a couple times on the podcast.
I had the McRib for the first time.
It is so bad.
Really?
Yeah. So there's a reason.
I don't get the hype.
It's stupid.
It's a stupid sandwich.
Wouldn't most products do great
if companies just introduced them for a limited time
over and over and over again?
Because people are like, oh, I need to capitalize.
We do love scarcity.
We are a scarcity-driven environment.
The original Pokemon cards go for crazy amounts on eBay,
even though everyone had them. Oh, though like everyone had them.
Oh yeah.
Everyone had them.
But then most people are just like,
you didn't take care of it,
you put it in a shoe box or whatever.
And now like you wanna pay hundreds of dollars
for a thing that you already once had
and are probably still gonna just put in a shoe box.
Yeah, I don't know what to do with my Beanie Babies
for that reason.
Yeah. I have a whole bag.
I looked into selling them and they are worthless. Yeah, I know, me too to do with my Beanie Babies for that reason. I have a whole background. I looked into selling them and they are worthless.
Yeah, I know, me too,
but that's what I thought about Pokemon cards also.
So I never know.
The Beanie Babies are the chorizo of the burrito world.
I feel like chorizo was the name of a Beanie Baby.
Definitely a Pokemon card.
Had a very sad poem inside of it.
In 2017, Chipotle announced it would relocate Definitely a Pokemon card. Had a very sad poem inside of it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
In 2017, Chipotle announced it would relocate its headquarters
from Denver to Newport Beach, California,
impacting 400 workers.
Well, that's cool.
I mean, closer to the source.
You.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Specifically just how this impacts you.
400 people lost their jobs, and you're like, oh,
they're right down the street.
I mean, I just see this as a positive.
Look, if they're gonna,
whatever brings the source of Chipotle closer to my love
and the country of-
You're definitely having like an endorphin rush right now.
I'm so excited.
Yeah.
Cause I'm never, I'm not close to any flagship locations.
Yeah.
Starbucks is in Seattle.
Seattle. Johnny Rockets is here. It's flagship? Yeah. Starbucks is in Seattle. Seattle.
Johnny Rockets is here.
It's flagship?
Yeah.
Which one?
Oh, on Melrose?
Well, it's gone now, but.
The one on Melrose?
I think it was around Melrose, but like, it no longer exists.
I called Johnny.
They shut it down.
I called Johnny Rockets Johnny's Rocket
for most of my adult life, not knowing.
Hey, man, you want to go to Johnny's Rocket?
Yeah, and I was like, everyone was like,
I thought everyone hated Johnny, Johnny Rocket.
You can't say it right.
You're like pausing.
I see it.
It's really hard to rewire your brain.
Like, Johnny's Rocket really flows off the tongue
way better than Johnny Rocket's.
I don't like that sentence. Johnny's Rocket flows flows off the tongue way better than Johnny Rockets. I don't like that sentence.
Johnny's rocket flows right off the tongue.
Just flows right off that sweet tongue.
Why?
Why sweet?
Why does the tongue have to be sweet?
Just double down.
When in doubt, just really dig yourself a deeper and deeper hole.
I did that on purpose.
Why did you say why? I did that on purpose. Why did you say why?
I did it on purpose.
I was gonna hard.
That was the saddest high five, but it was the clingiest high five.
I wanted to be really personal.
We're gonna stay here.
These are burrito eating hands you're holding. We're going to stay here.
These are burrito eating hands you're holding.
I feel like we're between cameras.
We're in a nexus zone.
I'll cut to the wide and do an extreme zoom.
That felt really good.
Felt cathartic.
That was really good. Felt collaborative. That was human connection.
In response to customer demand, Chipotle introduced Queso to their menu in 2017, initially disappointing
many with its quality.
However, Chipotle listened to feedback and improved the recipe, receiving more positive
responses by the end of the year.
Okay, so what?
Did you catch it?
This might...
I'm sorry, can you spell it out for me?
I said I must have missed something because I didn't laugh.
Oh my God.
In all honesty, that queso looked fucking disgusting.
Yeah.
I'm not a fan.
It's queso blanco, So it's like a white queso
It's gross. Yeah whites not a good color for like
sauces for like ranch grosses me out mayonnaise. I'll eat like a like an aioli but like
Just like a blob of anything white. I'm just... Not a fan. Yeah, I like vegetables.
I want like a tomatoey red or like a, yeah, what color?
I wanna be able to like...
Some vibrant.
I wanna identify what the thing is from
and white robs you of that.
That's really interesting.
Yeah.
I never thought of it like that, but I understand it.
Yeah.
I really don't like.
Kindred spirit right here. like that, but I understand it. Yeah. I really don't like.
Kindred spirit right here.
I feel like I'm in good company.
I, there are a couple of things that I really hate that people seem to be obsessed with talks about it.
Well, is one of them.
Yeah.
It's just, I know kind of, you know, the process that it's made is gross.
I know.
And then when it gets moldy, it like is just a different.
Yeah, that's what people say.
They're like, well, it's mold.
So it's okay.
It's like, bro, that's not.
You know what I do when I see mold on things?
I throw it out.
Right.
So you're saying that it's already gone bad
and I'm supposed to eat it.
Like now it's really gone bad and it's still okay.
Like where's the line?
It's like you lost a dare.
To eat sh** is just like,
hey, I bet you won't try that.
And then someone did and then they were like,
no, but it's good, I swear.
Right.
And then their friend ate it and they also liked it.
And then most people like it.
And I'm just like, what is, this is disgusting.
Yeah, and it smells weird.
And who cut the sh**?
There's like a reason.
Yeah, we literally use sh** to like ask who farted.
Right.
And then you're like, oh, I'm gonna eat the forks.
Yeah, it's so good.
Farts in solid form.
I also hate soup, and that one really, really, really tends to upset people.
I just find it interesting, because it's just a consistency that you don't like.
It's mostly consistency, but it's also how much people love it that really upsets me.
I don't know if I know anyone that's passionate about soup.
Are you serious?
Yeah.
Dude, supers are everywhere.
I like soup, but I'm not waving the flag for soup.
Right.
That's good, because I really feel
like people are in a cult when they talk about it.
I'm like, no, I don't like it.
They're like, what?
Yeah, it's very similar.
But there's something about soup
that feels really deceptive and dishonest to me.
I don't like that it's a beverage masquerading as a meal
and everyone is like,
everyone's like, but it's the best.
And it's like, it's literally chunky liquid.
Like it's gross.
I hate it.
And I feel like-
That sounds like a band. Chunky liquid. Like it's gross. I hate it. And I feel like that sounds like a like a
band chunky liquid. Yeah. I hate the how dumb I feel when I pick up a spoonful of soup and
I have to eat it in these tiny bits like a fucking idiot. It's like if you had to like
drink like a Coke. Yeah. With a spoon. Exactly. And then everyone's like isn't this the best?
I'm like I feel stupid. I feel like a dumbass and everyone either looks judging me.
Like this is a bit right.
You're trying to make me look stupid.
No, just feel. Yeah.
That's kind of what it feels like.
It's like people either look dumb or suspicious when they eat soup.
It's horrible. I mean, I could go on and on about soup.
There's a first of all, the temperature discrepancy makes it not soup.
What do you think of gazpacho?
That's a smoothie masquerading.
I know.
As soup.
To me, that's just soup's way of trying to like,
stay in power all year long,
because that's like their off season.
So they're like, here's a blended tomato, have it.
It's amazing.
And everyone's like, yeah, oh my God, I'm still having soup. But it's, it's not,
it's, it's a smoothie poured into a cup.
I love that we're kind of just diving into food theory.
I mean, I honestly, I mean, look, the soup thing is off topic.
I could go on and on about it for hours. I know that's not our focus here,
but I really do think there's
a big soup conspiracy happening in the world and like nobody actually knows about it. It
started as a joke that I would tell my friends.
And then you realized there's something to it.
Dude, and then I started looking into it and there's literally enough information to prove
that there is a big-
I did my own research. I did my own research. Chipotle introduced the Chipotle in 2018,
Chipotle introduced the Chipotle in 2018,
acting as a drive-through for mobile orders,
pickup only, aiming to enhance efficiency.
I saw one of those, and I was actually kind of amazed.
I mean, I can appreciate the effort,
but to me, part of the magic of Chipotle
is seeing it made in front of you.
Sure. That's part of the magic of Chipotle is seeing it made in front of you. Sure.
That's part of the beauty of it. When you see.
Look, you can like it for that reason.
OK.
None of the little metal containers look beautiful inside.
Like there's no magic.
When you say part of the magic.
Oh my God.
Are you serious?
When you see all the ingredients piled up like that
and then you see them hold the edges of the tortilla,
and they kind of lift it up and like...
The best part of it is that.
It's the fold.
When they throw the tortilla in the machine and take it out,
that's the best part of the thing.
Everything like...
Oh, that part, sorry.
I misunderstood you.
I was talking about the end,
you were talking about the beginning,
when they like make it hot.
I'm saying it's the good part.
You're saying you like the end,
where you see all the things.
No, no, no, but I'm with you.
I like the beginning too. Yeah. When they pull it out, where you see all the things. No, no, no, but I'm with you. I like the beginning too.
When they pull it out, just this dead tortilla,
and then put it in the...
They CPR it back to life.
Breathe, damn it.
Breathe.
And then they pull it out,
and then it's alive again.
Yeah.
I'm ready to eat.
Fill me with vegetables.
And it tastes so good.
It's so chewy when you eat it.
It's not chewy in that plastic,
but it's chewy when it comes out of the iron machine.
But you're like, you're treating it
like it's Wonka's factory, like to, oh, what's this?
Two types of beans.
It's amazing.
No, it's not.
Is that not magic to you?
They look sad, they're like,
it's like overhead dim lighting, like spotlight lighting.
There's like a glare coming off of the salsa.
None of it looks good.
It looks sloppy.
They mix together as the day goes by.
Oh, I'm sorry.
The salsa is too sparkly for you.
It's too gleaming.
It's too watery.
That, the water, I will agree with you on.
I really have an issue when they pull a lot of tomatoes
into a spoon and they don't let it drain.
Yeah. They need the slotted spoons.
They have that though, and some still move too fucking fast.
They're in a rush. They want the water.
No, it's like water should have no place in a burrito, none.
I really don't like it when they do that. It kills the tortilla.
After several outbreaks of E. coli and other dangerous diseases,
Chipotle admitted to a higher risk of
foodborne illness outbreaks due to
their use of fresh produce and
meats and traditional cooking
methods.
Critics argued that the range of
pathogens involved in incidents
suggests a systemic issue,
noting that the use of manure in
organic farming may elevate the risk
of spreading bacteria.
You know what's weird? When that happened, because it happened a couple times,
I was like, this is corporate sabotage.
I was like, there's no way that this is actually a Chipotle-like issue.
Uh-huh.
They were dominating and then it's like, oh, E. coli.
E. coli.
E. coli. E. coli. E. coli.
Uh, what is OK, this is new.
What the fuck is that? There's an alarm going off because there's something new on the podcast, Zara.
You unlocked the fine dining secret menu minigame.
Oh, oh, that's right.
There's a secret word for each of my guest hosts
moving forward, and if they say it,
it unlocks the secret menu.
It's just a game.
Look, we're just gonna play a game, okay?
And you said the word, it was E. coli.
E. coli.
The secret menu is a brand new game
where I will give us a category,
and then we have one minute to bounce back and forth
as many jokes
to that category as possible.
Play along in the YouTube comments.
I will pick my favorite one and I will reveal it
at the next secret menu segment in a later episode.
And if I picked yours, I'll send you a free t-shirt.
So a fine dining t-shirt, not just like a random shirt off.
I found it on Burbank Boulevard.
The category is Chipotle-born illnesses.
Oh, okay.
Examples being gonorrhoito or cilantro lime disease.
Nice.
I'll let you go first and we're gonna start in three,
two, one.
Guacoma.
Irritable bowl syndrome. Good one, good one, good one.
Salsariasis.
Chirosis of the liver.
Good one.
Barbacovid.
Tortillabetes.
Nice.
Pink-eyed de Gaio.
All right, that's the best one. Ulcerative carnitis. Rheumatoid soffritas.
That sounds so unfortunate.
Yeah, it's really too bad.
Diarrhea con carne.
Is that all diarrhea?
Oh no.
E corn eye.
All right, and that's time.
I don't know why we did that, but play along in the comments and, you know, have fun with
it.
I thought it was good.
I did too.
I'd like to have at least a couple of those diseases.
Why?
Just for fun.
I mean, churrosis does sound delicious.
Also salsariasis, I would much prefer to regular sariasis.
Just licking your skin all the time?
Yeah, it sounds stinky, but I would do it.
Guacoma just avocado-wise.
We should be so lucky.
Chipotle doesn't have an official secret menu, but you can ask for certain specialty items
that don't appear on the menu, and they're common enough that many employees will know
what to do.
These include some popular items like the quesarito, a regular burrito wrapped inside
a *** quesadilla.
Other items include the double decker taco, the burrito dia, their dragon sauce that's
made by mixing sour cream with Chipotle's telmillo Red Chili Salsa, and the Three Pointer,
a cheaper burrito that uses fewer ingredients.
So you can basically get like a discount on your burrito
to be like, hey, I'm just gonna get a couple things.
I mean, I can...
Look, you want a tithe to Chipotle,
so getting discounts, I know, not appealing to you.
Just pay the good people what they want.
Give them anything. Just if they ask,, not appealing to you. Just pay the good people what they want.
Give them anything.
Just if they ask, just give it to them.
What's the issue?
Chipotle employs a Brooklyn based DJ, Christopher
Galloob, to curate monthly playlists played in all their stores.
These playlists, consisting of approximately 500 songs each, are changed monthly.
They literally just have a dude in Brooklyn,
and they're like, what are you feeling this month?
He's like, I'll throw something together.
That seems a little arbitrary.
Yeah.
It could be anybody, right?
Yeah, why him?
Yeah.
Who dubbed Christopher Gloob the tastemaker
of the interior of a Chipotle?
Yeah, and like, why can't it be me, or you?
Or like, anybody? I think with me, they'd be like, OK, great. We've heard Rap God six times, and like, why can't it be me? Or you? Or like, anybody?
I think with me, they'd be like, okay, great, we've heard Rap God six times, and now you have Hanson? What's happening?
I mean, that would be even less random than the shit we heard in there today.
That's fair. All right, Chipotle uses around 100,000 avocados a day.
Same. Same.
and avocados a day.
Ob. Same. Same. Ob.
Certain celebrities and VIPs are sometimes given free Chipotle for a year cards,
which afford them one free burrito each day.
I don't like that because those are celebrities and they can afford to...
Yeah, those who have, let's make it free.
I know.
I've never understood, like, swag bags.
Right, I know.
Like, to me, it's just so bad.
Like, give those to people who, like, make a kid's Christmas. Yeah. I want. To me, it's just so bad. Give those to people who like make a kid's Christmas.
Yeah.
I want a swag bag full of burritos.
I do know that.
Anyways, can we bring it in?
No one is here.
I have no staff.
But I was going to pretend that we had a.
Are you aware that I am the most gullible person on the planet?
If you just like say the slightest thing that's really suggestive, I'll just be like.
If I commit hard enough that there's actually a guy standing over there with a bag of burritos,
you'd be like, I don't see him, but I believe Michael.
I'm like a dog waiting for someone to throw a ball.
Like, wait, where is it?
People are really bad at estimating their Chipotle calories.
A meal there is pretty caloric.
Half of the meals people order at Chipotle contain over 1,070 calories, according to
the New York Times analysis of Grubhub data in February 2015.
So isn't that normal then?
Because a burrito is like one meal of the day and it's like 1,000-ish calories and you're
supposed to have about three thousand a day.
So this just feels like bad burrito press.
Yeah.
The math is adding up to me.
Yeah, it really does.
Yeah.
So.
Now the menus calorie range for burritos is 400 to 900.
So their advertising is false.
Yeah.
And then once you add like sour cream and guac and stuff.
So like literally soft flour tortilla tortilla you start at 300 calories
Black beans and rice bumps it to 605 steak can raise that to 795
With lettuce guacamole and sour cream an average burrito can top out at around
1245 calories sounds fine to me move on
The data you just delivered.
I don't want any bad press going to Chipotle.
All right.
While customers often request a breakfast menu at Chipotle,
the chain has only experimented with it
at two unique locations, both in airports, Baltimore, Washington,
International, and Dulles Airport.
Oh, you don't want to sit next to someone on an airplane.
I had a Chipotle breakfast.
It's like, oh, god, what am I in for?
It's like that's the guy had that the one who had diarrhea in the aisle of the plane
a few months ago. Did you hear that?
They had to land the plane.
You didn't hear about that. No.
It was like one of the beginning cases of like airline catastrophes
that's happened recently.
And I'm guessing he went to Chipotle first.
In 2021, the Irvine location tested out mini churros. They
were only available via the mobile app, were 100% vegan, and
used a blend of Vietnamese and Indonesian cinnamon.
I mean,
if you're rating the cinnamons, those are like two of them.
I really don't like cinnamon either. Is that weird?
Really? Yeah.
I don't have like a strong love for it, but I-
Take it or leave it.
I don't mind it.
I'm not as passionate about my hatred for cinnamon
as I am about soup or anything.
I like a cinnamon roll.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess.
It depends on the context.
I just, yeah, I don't know.
Cinnamon people.
The passion.
That feels like a 70s song, like sit up and people top of the charts.
Yeah.
Since its inception two decades ago, Chipotle has experienced steady growth with the number of restaurants worldwide reaching 3,187 as of two years ago.
It is the largest fast casual restaurant chain in the US based on unit count.
I love hearing that.
That's beautiful.
Look at that underdog story.
It also has a high customer
American customer satisfaction index
score of 77 out of 100 in 2022,
placing it atop among the top 10
limited service restaurant
chains in the country.
Oh, I'm so proud.
It just it's like McDonald's
got out of there
and they were like, fly child.
They'll be watching you from a distance.
Do your thing.
Yeah, and then they fucking killed it.
Look.
Oh, that's inspiring.
It's like a Donis Creed.
You're such a stan.
With an overall brand value surpassing $16.2 billion in 2022, Chipotle ranked as the fourth
most valuable quick service restaurant brand in the United States that year.
It's number one for me. But yeah.
In 2023, Chipotle announced plans to hire 15,000 workers and expand to 7,000 locations,
focusing on small towns and cities aiming to double its footprint.
See what happens when you move to Newport Beach.
Get out of Denver.
Yeah, seriously.
Competitive eater Matt Stoney is on record for eating a burrito in about 35 seconds.
While no Guinness World Records officials appeared to be on hand,
Stoney already has several world records under his belt,
including eating five pounds of cake in eight minutes and 59 seconds.
At that point, you can just say nine minutes.
Yeah.
Five pounds of cake. This guy's insane.
I mean, whoa. A bur Five pounds of cake. This guy's insane. I mean, whoa.
A burrito in 35 seconds.
I can't.
We ate for about 25, 35 minutes
and you hit a wall where you're like, this is the point.
Yeah, and I'm bringing it home to eat later.
So actually my time.
It's like an eight hour.
Yeah, it's like eight and a half hour burrito consumption.
For me, it's like the record should be like,
how long can I eat this burrito for?
Like, how long can I enjoy this?
Why would you wanna rush?
It's like a camel drinking.
Like, I'll get to more later.
Yeah, like why would you wanna rush the glory?
Just keep enjoying it, 35 seconds.
It's like, it's a gift, you know?
When you open Christmas presents,
I know that they like, kids open it as fast as possible,
but it's really fun to like wait.
You pick one thing and go play with it for a bit
before you open the next one.
Yeah.
Chipotle maintains a strict policy
of not offering franchising opportunities,
unlike many other top level food chains,
such as Subway, KFC and Taco Bell.
All Chipotle locations worldwide
are owned by the company itself, ensuring consistency
across all stores and adherence to the guidelines
set by Chipotle management.
Yeah, keep it in the family, I get it.
You don't ever get to have a Chipotle though.
You know what, I don't trust myself to uphold the legacy.
I can't, I'm not worthy of their standards.
No, I think, I really think it's better if I stay
like an admirer and fan.
I don't need to be involved.
From a distance, put a hand on a glass window.
Yeah.
When the burrito is just tapped on the other side.
I feel like we're in prison.
The restaurant embraces Halloween by offering a unique twist on the holiday tradition of dressing up and trick-or-treating.
In recent years, anyone in costume visiting a Chipotle location on Halloween could enjoy a discounted burrito,
starting from free burritos, before evolving to $2 in 2016 and $3 in 2017 due to high demand.
That's really cute.
A lot of people caught on, like, oh, if I dress up
and then they're like, oh, too many free burritos,
we're gonna charge you a little.
Fair.
Yeah.
I have a burrito blanket that I wrap up in
sometimes when it's not Halloween.
You just,
but you wear it on Halloween and you're like,
I came as you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I actually, I do have a photo of me in it
with tin foil around me too.
I have to show it to you. What tin foil did you use?
A lot. A lot of tin foil.
I'll put it on screen.
Okay.
Yeah, send it to me.
Chipotle has a secret customer reward program called the Farm Team, which offers exclusive
perks like free food, t-shirts, and other fun items.
Membership is invitation only and managers have limited invites to offer.
Members also receive education on topics related to Chipotle's processes.
Like what we're doing right now?
Yeah.
But they get like the insider scoop, including factory farming.
I don't need to know about that.
That's okay.
You don't want to go on the farm and...
I'm cool.
Yeah.
Being part of the farm team is considered a privilege and a delight for diehard Chipotle customers.
Sorry.
My bad.
Maybe I'm really not as like a true friend,
of a true like-
Lover.
Yeah.
I mean, I've never heard anyone say, I love Chipotle.
The best part about it is the farms.
They're really just kind of getting free labor.
They're like, oh, you love this?
Make it.
Yeah.
See, this is why I don't want to be in the Chipotle business.
Yeah.
It's too much hassle.
Yeah.
And then farms are always far away.
Even when you're on one.
Yeah.
It takes forever to get to that farm.
All right.
And that'll do it for this week's Eat Deeps.
OK, Zara, we've discussed the history of Chipotle.
We're all educated now.
We've got a PhD in GUAC.
Good shit, dude.
Right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
But we're not done.
We have a review to give, but that'll be next week.
This week, we're going to see what other people reviewed this place in this week's Yelp, a little Yelp, a little Yelp from strangers.
A little Yelp, a little Yelp.
Give us those complaints while you literally white and die.
Yelp!
Alright, this is Yelp from Strangers, our segment where we go to Yelp and read out our favorite
1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 star Yelp reviews of the very Chipotle that we went to.
Zara, may I do the honors?
May I start us off with a review?
Please.
I am not trustworthy in any way.
You should do it.
You're gonna do some of them.
Oh, okay.
Audience, beware.
If you look behind that pillow right there.
Do I get a gift?
There are two reviews for you to read.
There actually are.
I'm so excited. Okay. That was
like a magic trick. I want to open the present again later. You want to save her the present.
Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One star review. This is a one star review from Liana Z from Burbank,
California, March 4th, 2023. She's only written four Yelp reviews, and this is the only picture she's ever uploaded.
Thank you.
People need to know her history.
Terrible service, the guy there was some rude guy.
He was so dry, I was waiting in the line
for a whole like hour, not even lying,
and there was a million workers in the back
just playing their music, not paying attention
to the 30 customers in the line, so unprofessional.
That was all one sentence.
I even saw a bug fly right into the food,
but I'm not even going to lie.
The food wasn't as bad as thought it would be,
but just the service threw me off
and I will not dine in an area where I see bugs in food,
employees rolling eyes at me
and people waiting for a million years.
employees rolling eyes at me and people waiting for a million years. Poor Leona, dude.
She's having a fucking day.
It's about to take a turn.
Oh, okay.
Not for the better.
The guy kept looking at my chest and I felt so uncomfortable because I'm a minor.
Oh.
Yeah. Oh, God.
Yeah.
The music was loud.
I couldn't hear my friend talk,
and the guy taking the order was literally whispering
like he was depressed.
I mean...
Are depressed people known for whispering?
Is that a key trait of being depressed?
Because you're so sad that you can't use your vocal energy
to communicate.
Yeah. Yes, he is. Everything's so hard. Because you're so sad that you can't use your vocal energy to communicate.
It's just so sad.
Everything's so hard.
But also, dude, like they work at Chipotle.
It's like I can't imagine that.
The clientele.
It's not. Yeah.
Like if you had to deal with the people every day who, like, don't even look at you in the eyes.
It would break you.
Yeah. Like when you think like I always try to make sure to look at them in the face
because they're on like just autopilot.
They don't, they don't just like burrito.
Well, and if they ever commit a crime,
you're more useful to a sketch artist.
Yeah, exactly.
If they ever looked at a chest of a minor,
I would be able to identify them.
That's the guy.
Yeah, oh my God.
He's got chest looking eyes. Really, really sharp guy. Yeah. Oh my God. He's got chest looking eyes.
Really sharp nose.
He slammed our food over and told us we should sit outside in the cold.
Overall terrible experience.
Thank you.
I love the thank you.
This is, I mean, it's a horrible review, but it's one of the best horrible reviews I've
ever read actually.
Yeah.
Really, it has so many layers. It has more layers than the burrito itself.
And she really, yeah, she really like Liana's the Liana Z.
Oh, man. Five star review.
OK, this is a five star review from Matthew S.
from Carlsbad, California, and Carlsbad knows quality.
It sounds like a joke.
That actually made me snort.
You love the snout.
Oh, piglet, you're a little carnita.
This is not...
It's going to sound like I'm shaming.
How many times are we going to say...
I think little carnitas is nice.
Really?
Well, I love carnitas.
So to me, I would take that affectionately.
That's sweet.
I'm glad.
All right.
Carlsbad, California.
I don't know why that feels really important.
Context colon.
I first tried in Chipotle when I lived in Northern VA and liked most, I enjoyed the big ass burritos packed with flavor and tender meat.
When I moved to North County San Diego 2016, my love for Chipotle diminished.
Every Chipotle in this area acts as though they're on a food shortage, seasoning shortage, and lack of knowledge and how long to cook their meat,
parentheses, AKA, that shit always overcooked,
end parentheses.
Give me a favor.
Just read this like you're doing an impression
of what you imagine he looks like.
Okay.
So it's safe to say Chipotle has been mid to me
for a long time now.
Today, I was in the Burbank area and figured getting a burrito would be quick and easy. I don't know if I'm doing it the way he looks.
It's your interpretation. You're the artist here.
Thanks, blank slate.
When I walked in to pick up my order,
I immediately noticed something was off as I was politely greeted by a girl with black hair and glasses
who seemed to still have a will to live. noticed something was off as I was politely greeted by a girl with black hair and glasses
who seemed to still have a will to live.
That seems off.
That's weird.
Yeah.
Especially in line with the one star review that you read a second ago.
She mentioned the depressed workers.
Whisper, whisper, whisper.
The whispering.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So he had a similar experience at the other locations.
But his experience of the Burbank location was the opposite.
It is solid. The opposite of Leon.
Of depressed. Yeah. Yeah.
The scrolling glasses who seemed to still have a will to live,
unlike the zombies who work at my nearest store.
And she quickly gave me my order and sent me on my way.
Upon picking up the burrito, I also noticed that the thing was hefty.
Caps parentheses, something I'm not used to anymore.
That I agree with him on. Yeah. The Chipotle burritos used to really be like, like
partial baseball bat. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I read all 400 reviews of this.
That's amazing. This chipotle.
The majority of the one star reviews were about the portion.
Yeah, they've cut down.
I went with Liana's because of how long her sentences were, and that amused me.
That was the right choice.
And the whispering equals depression made me laugh.
But like every single one was just.
Yeah, well, there is still one of them that will address it, so sure.
I mean, I noticed they haven't really raised their prices and everybody else has,
but they have lowered the portions, which means that, you know.
Now, when I tell you that that big boy was bussin,
that shit was bussin.
It's all in caps.
The rice was cooked perfectly.
The chicken was seasoned caps.
And not only that, it was nice and tender and juicy caps.
The guac tasted heavenly and everything else I got
in the burrito was on point.
I properly effed that shit up.
And it was 105 out.
Am I too? It was hot.
That's what that means.
Yeah. If you read the next sentence,
when I read it the first time, I was like, what does that mean?
Is that a phrase that I'm not aware?
What the fuck? No, no, no.
He's literally talking about the temperature outside.
Oh, I thought it was.
It was. I thought it was 105 out.
We're following up him saying bussin' twice,
so yeah, you feel like he's using modern.
I effed that shit up.
It was 105 outside, it's like,
oh, they're keeping it 100 plus five?
Yeah, that's like a new level of awesomeness
that Gen Z is doing that I really have no idea.
Yeah, it was 105 out.
Yeah, that sounds cool.
Sure.
Sure.
Okay, and it was 105 out degrees.
He didn't write that, I'm clarifying.
If I was able to enjoy a hot burrito in 105 degrees,
he did it the second time, thank you.
I don't even wanna know how good it would've tasted
if my surrounding conditions were optimal.
So he's saying if he had to eat it the way Leona ate hers outside, even want to know how good it would have tasted if my surrounding conditions were optimal.
So he's saying if he had had to eat it the way Leona ate hers outside or they like told her then it would have been better for him. I love that he uses words like bussin and then optimal.
Yeah he's really playing both. He's a complex human being. Yeah he's very well rounded.
complex human being. Yeah, it's very well rounded. Y'all, I don't know who cooked that thing, but I damn wished I would have known it was going to taste that good because I would have dropped a
$10 tip. That's the other thing. Chipotle doesn't have the tip thing at the end. Yeah. But Starbucks
does. Everywhere does. Yeah. I love that Chipotle is just like, we pay our people. Don't worry about
it. I don't know what they make. Are they competitive?
But they're still in business and people are still working there.
So if it was really horrible.
Yeah. Right?
I don't know. People will take jobs that pay poorly just because they need something.
I guess you're right.
But the tip thing makes me mad because I'm like, you guys, like, I obviously, I tip.
I do agree. I do agree.
I'm not saying I don't.
Cover your employees, like, stop putting it on us. Yeah. But yeah. Yeah. I tip, I tip. I'm not saying I don't. Cover your employees, stop putting it on us.
Yeah.
But yeah, the tip culture's wild.
It's gotten insane.
It's like someone just flipping over an iPad
and then they're sad when...
When you don't hit 35%.
Yeah, it's just like...
And the options on it are like 25, 30, 30.
You have to hit custom if you want to tip 20%.
Exactly. And then like, they, they always say like,
Oh, it'll just be a couple of questions.
It's one. It's one question.
It's a question and you know exactly what it is.
And you're staring at me while I make the decision.
And then I feel pressured and bad about it.
And then it's so awkward.
And I'm like, you're literally just taking a bagel
and like giving it to me.
It's, we've literally forced the employed to panhandle.
Oh my God.
That is exactly what it is.
Literally what we're doing.
Dude, yes.
They're holding a cup in your face.
I mean like, please.
And then you're like, fuck.
You're staring at me and we're really close.
And you also are holding my bagel hostage.
So like, now I have to, you're so right about that.
And then I feel bad for them because I'm like,
you're working for a place that it clearly
is not paying you enough.
But why is a bagel now $7?
You know?
Yeah, why did the price go up,
but you still need to be tipped.
That price increase should go to you.
Right, and we're tipping.
And it doesn't.
And I'm not even convinced the tips all go to them.
That's a really good point, too.
OK, this this says, oh, OK,
this is a really nice concluding sentence from Matthew S.
11 out of 10, six out of five, whatever the ranking is.
I wish I could transport this Chipotle to where I live,
because damn, it would have been my second home.
We are in good company with this man.
I feel like he understands
how beautiful this establishment is.
And I guess I was wrong when I said
Carl's bad nose quality,
because clearly he was complaining about.
The Carl's bad one.
Yeah.
I just felt it was appropriate.
It's a Carl's bad one.
I mean, you're welcome.
No!
You can go download our full Yelp from Strangers segment at our Patreon.
The link for that is in the description of this episode, or you can go to
patreon.com slash fine dining podcast.
And we're now offering a one week free trial.
So what do you have to lose?
Go check it out.
People have wild opinions and we get to read oh, so free trial. So what do you have to lose? Go check it out. People have wild opinions
and we get to read oh so many of them.
Thanks.
All right, well that does it for the part one episode.
We've covered the history, we've covered Yelp reviews.
We've got our review all primed and ready for next week.
We're just gonna turn the lights off
and sit here for seven days time.
And then if we're still alive, we'll talk about Chipotle.
I got my leftover Chipotle, so I'm fine.
It has so many calories, you will last.
I'm good.
Yeah.
Is there anything you wanna plug?
Tell people to follow you.
If you wanna find me, I'm on Instagram at Zara Mizrahi.
That'll do it.
I'll put a graphic so people know how to spell it.
Thank you.
And it'll be in the description of the episode
for those of you just listening.
Appreciate it.
Well, thanks for coming on the Fine Dining Podcast,
the search for the most mediocre restaurant in America.
We're just gonna sit here waiting on our table for a week,
but in the meantime,
have a fine day.
["Waiting on Our Table"]
Waiting on our table, waiting on our table.
The step is done and we had some fun.
Now we're waiting on our table, waiting on our table.
Join us next time, we're stuck in line.
Waiting on our table, waiting on our table.
We're so hungry, tummy's grumbling.
Waiting on our table, waiting on our table.
We gotta continue our search for mediocrity
Yeah
Waiting on a table, waiting on a table
We'll be waiting and dissipating
Waiting on a table, waiting on a table
We're swimming in this week, we're digging in
Cause we're waiting on a table, waiting on our table
We've got an appetite for just sit tight
Cause we're waiting on our table, waiting on our table
Search will continue when we see you next week He, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he But I'm not ever new Waiting on our table