Fine Dining - Cook Out Review feat. Scott Philbrook (Astonishing Legends Podcast) [Part Two]

Episode Date: October 9, 2024

Maybe the best milkshakes in the game! Cook Out is a staple of North Carolina, and I got to sit with host of the Astonishing Legends podcast, Scott Philbrook and try the burgers, hush puppies, and milkshakes that make them famous The Secret Menu Category: Spooky Restaurants A liminal space with Cheerwine decor What's Going On Over There with the handwashing station on the customer side of the ordering station? There's back of house and front of house, and never the two shall meet What we ate: Onion Rings, Hush Puppies, Cajun Fries, Cook Out Style Burger, Out West Style Burger, Steak Style Burger Scott details a restaurant experience so bad, his whole party left with dire stomach issues in this week's Calibration Station "Fine" Dining is now on video! Head on over to my YouTube to watch this episode! Music by: James McEnelly (@Ramshackle_Music) Theme Song by: Kyle Schieffer (@JazzyJellyfish) Segment Transitions Voiced by: Sandy Rose "Fine" Dining is on Patreon! Get an extra episode every month (I just put out the Septemburger 2024 Semi-Finals & Finals episode and it's available for FREE! Go hear who won this year's tournament), extended Yelp from Strangers segments every other week, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, and more! Patreon Producers: Joyce Van, & Sue Ornelas   Get the 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!   Send in your Cook Out stories at [e-mail].   Follow the show on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast Follow Astonishing Legends on Instagram @astonishinglegends   Let me know where I should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, PodcastAddict, Overcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. I read every one!   Next week on "Fine" Dining: WingStreet History [Part One]! Independent Horror superstar Rachel Bryant goes full Freddy Krueger with me for A Nightmare on WingStreet, part 1 of the "Fine" Dining Halloween and Season 2 Finale Special! Ever work at WingStreet/Pizza Hut? Send your stories to [e-mail].

On this week's delicious episode of the fine dining podcast Settle this yeah, like man. Is that what men do? Yeah, they fight over milkshakes. Yeah Men are stupid Not like fudge, but not in the milkshake. Yeah, it's kind of like I love bacon, but not on a burger From this point forward the word cheese will be bleeped because Michael finds it offensive. Hello and welcome back to the Fine Dining Podcast, the search for the most mediocre restaurant in America.

I'm your host, Michael Ornelas, back once again to cover Cookout, who I am announcing into 2025's September-ger bracket. I am joined once again, back for the second week in a row. Thanks for clearing so much time for me. Scott Philbrook from the Astonishing Legends podcast. How's it going? It's going good. It's an honor to be here.

Thank you very much for having me back. An honor. Yeah, I'm honored. It's an honor. Yeah. You wanna give the people, look, we're getting deeper into October. It's getting creepier and creepier.

You have a paranormal podcast. I do. You wanna give it the spiel again? Yeah, it is October. We do really special episodes, so if you look at any of our October shows, you're gonna find some really scary scary

scary material. Whoa! You said? What's happening? It's like a Pee-Wee's Playhouse type thing. There's like a word of the day. There's a secret word,

and it triggers a mini game. I've never had it this early in the episode. Pre-opening song. Well, I have a paranormal show. What was the word? The word was scary. It was bound to come up. What did you think that was?

It was bound to come up. But you said the word scary. The secret menu is a game where we get a category and we just riff jokes back and forth, one minute on the clock, and we just have fun with it. There's no stakes. I don't really know why I do it, but you know what, screw it, and we just have fun with it. There's no stakes. I don't really know why I do it,

but you know what, screw it, let's have some fun with it. And you at home, go ahead and play along, comment below any submissions that follow the category. This week's category is spooky restaurants. Oh, spooky, I like it. For example, Whatta Murder, or TGI Friday the 13th. Oh, those are good. Which is actually the name of a special episode I did

about TGI, it was my season one finale. Oh, nice. Yeah, so we're gonna put one minute on the clock and we're gonna bounce spooky restaurants back and forth, play along at home. I'll pick my favorite one on the next restaurants episodes and you can win a free fine dining t-shirt. And the winner of last week's secret menu mini game

goes to YouTube user FineWining6671 who's crafted his whole persona around winning this mini game. He is a three time winner. And as much as I didn't want to give it to him, he had the perfect submission for Disastrous Restaurants, which mixed natural disasters with restaurants. But instead, he references this very show. His submission was, You Dust Bowl,

instead of the You Must Bowl that I draw my next restaurant from. I enjoyed it. Congratulations, Scott. You get another shirt. Go ahead, DM me at Fine Dining Podcast on Instagram or TikTok, or email me fine dining podcast at gmail.com.

And I will get you your third Fine Dining T-shirt sent to you. And everyone else, good luck on this one. Okay, we'll throw one minute on the clock. I'll get us started and we'll just bounce back and forth. Okay, great. Get it going in three, two, one. The body's buried out back.

Steakhouse. Oh, that's good. Texas slaughterhouse. I like that one. Chick-fil-A. You know, that happened to me a lot. I worked there. I like that one. Chick-fil-A! You know, that happened to me a lot. I worked there. Orange Goulias.

I like that. Raising Canes from the Dead. Oh, okay. Here's one. It's a little bit of an older reference. Auntie Go to the Light Carol Anne. Dumb. Yeah, that is pretty dumb, sorry.

California Pizza Kitchen. Oh, pretty good. Okay. Taco Hell. Dumb. Yeah, that is pretty dumb, sorry. California Pizza Kitchen. Oh, pretty good, okay. Taco Hell. Ooh. Domino, no, no, no pizza. Okay, I think my worst one was better than that. Headstone Creamery. I like that.

Okay. Spooka De Beppo. Oh, oh my God. Spooka De Beppo. Longhorn Steakhouse, and steak is spelled S-T-A-K-E. You know, like vampire steak. Get it? Steakhouse. That was great. That was great, Scott.

And lastly, probably the scariest one on here. Five Guys. I'd be terrified if I was approached by just Five Guys. Yeah, yeah, it's not good. It's not good, yeah. All right. That's it for the secret menu. That's guys. Yeah, yeah, it's not good. It's not good, yeah. All right, that's it for the secret menu. That's time. Go ahead and comment your submissions down below

and I will pick out my favorite one, announce it on the next set of episodes and you can win a shirt. So play along. Thanks, Scott. Do I get a shirt for being on the show? Give me your address, I'll send you one. Oh, nice.

I'll send you a shirt too, to be fair. Wonderful. Sure for sure. Do you want to just trade? Not this one, you don't want this one. It's boring I'll send you a shirt too. To be fair. Wonderful, sure for sure. Do you want to just trade? Not this one, you don't want this one, it's boring. Oh, you mean a show shirt. I thought you just meant like. Yeah, just a shirt, just a mani shirt.

Whatever's at the bottom of the dirty laundry. It's almost like a fundraiser at a gas station. Okay, well, we're not even out of the intro of the show yet because you went real early with the secret word, which is great. But for those of you listening to the show for the first time, I am looking for the perfectly mediocre restaurant, that spot where bad becomes good,

good becomes bad, what's right in the middle, that nexus point. Currently the leader, Cracker Barrel at a 5.01 out of 10, almost at the 5.00, but the search does in fact continue. I am judging these restaurants based on three criteria. I'm doing it based on their atmosphere, based on its service, and based on three criteria. I'm doing it based on their atmosphere. Based on its service. And based on its food.

Mmm, yum. Obviously, I mean, we're reviewing restaurants. You gotta do the food. Yeah, you gotta do the food. Fine dining party of two. We've been talking a little bit too long. Our table is in fact ready. We'll be back right after the opening credits song.

["Table is Ready"] Your table is ready, follow me. Have you tried our chicken breasts? right after the opening credits song. ["The Table is Ready"] Snick-nack, cowboy hat, good luck cat, autographed guitar, some crap from your city Behold the tchotchke of mediocrity Fine dining Just fine dining, fine dining Two letters on the sign are shining Neon flickering, irregular timing Identify the perfect fine She's about to ten

Fine dining Fine dining. Fine dining. Atmosphere. Okay, so with the atmosphere, there's one thing I want to bring up that isn't even really a part of this, but it is the first thing I noticed when I pulled into the shopping center that this cookout is in. There was a cinnamon roll place called Cineholic. Yes. Which I just find so funny to picture someone's like jonesing,

like, oh God, I'm addicted to cinnamon rolls. Hi, my name's Scott and I like cinnamon rolls. Hi, Scott. Hi. But for the restaurant itself, we pull up, they've got a very recognizable logo of a big spatula amidst flame-grilled fire emblems and stuff with Cookout right in the middle. Real flashy, but kind of a font that looks like, I feel like they could have picked a sleeker font.

Yeah, maybe so. And that's been the same a long time. I think probably since, at least since I first started going there, which we have deduced was pretty much when it opened. Yeah. The chain, that is. I like the look of the place,

though this place did feel clean. Apparently this location in particular is one of the newer ones in the Greensboro area. It definitely is, yeah. The older ones. It's been like eight years. They don't roll like that, the older ones. Yeah. And I haven't even seen one of the older ones. I haven't passed by them or anything like that. Yeah, they're ones. They spend like eight years. They don't roll like that, the older ones. Yeah, and I haven't even seen one of the older ones.

I haven't passed by them or anything like that. They're more janky. But we chose this one specifically because they had a spot where you could go inside and dine. A lot of them just have either an outdoor table or just a walk up and drive through windows, and that's it. And you had emailed me like,

this might be a sit in our car email, and I'm like, my ass it will. You did good. You found, it's funny, you found the cookout with the dining room. That's like there's a Chick-fil-A on the corner of Sunset and Highland that has no dining room.

It's like the only Chick-fil-A I know of that doesn't have a dining room. And it's got just all the big picnic tables outside. Which are usually preoccupied by people that aren't having Chick-fil-A at all. Yeah. People who just need a seat. Yeah, they just need a place to sit.

Yeah. But this, I went inside, it was very clean and sleek, which is normally a thing that I'm into, but somehow this time it felt a little too neat, a little too put together. Yeah, I wanna tell you something though, a couple things about it. One, I'm gonna tell you something though, a couple of things about it. One, firstly, atmosphere-ically, for me,

the atmosphere started when I was all the way out on the main drag, turning in to come into Cookout, which I would say from where I pulled off and into the road, maybe a 10th of a mile, I smelled it before I got there. I smelled like the char grill burgers that came into my car. I was like, that's working.

That's working. And if they're doing actual grilling of, you know they're really doing that because it would cost a lot of money to pipe that smell out. How did that? You know, Cinnabon, they, everyone knows the smell of a Cinnabon from a mile away, right?

Right. They have a specific thing where they don't ventilate properly intentionally. Oh, right. And they put their ovens toward the front of the store. They do a casino trick. So that when you're in a food, in a mall, you smell a Cinnabon and it, I mean, it really is,

it's like Bugs Bunny floating over. Yeah, yeah. You know, you smell a pie. That's our second Bugs reference in this series of part one and one two. It's a very loony couple of weeks. We're gonna pull references from the 50s. But the atmospherically, I would say, like, I smelled,

and I felt like, oh, this is gonna be good. I'm excited to eat here. And when I came and pulled them, it's like a newer location. Like you said, I'm used to going to ones that are a little older, and not run down, but just they're showing their age. And when I came in there, it felt like a eighties bedroom

from a teenage villain in a movie. It was like... It was like dark in weird ways. Yeah, really sharp corners and a lot of black glossy tile. Like this is where Maleficent grew up. Yeah, right, exactly. When she was like an angsty teen. Yeah, yeah, that's what, you know,

and another thing that I pointed out, of course it is October, it felt a little like a liminal space because there was the big dining room, but there was only like five tables. Well, so when I thought more about it on the drive from the restaurant to here, I started thinking, cookout. It implies you're there with a group. There were no single tables that I know.

It wasn't like you can go with one person. So I think they are trying to encourage the idea. Cognito seating. Yeah, if you're sitting here, we want you with a group of five, six, seven, eight people. That's kind of what I justified in my mind, whether or not that was an intentional design choice, or it was just like, that's a big table, that'll take up as much space as we need it to, whatever.

Yeah, I thought maybe it was leftover from COVID or something, because there was a lot of space between the tables too, but who knows? Yeah, I don't know, I can't put my finger on why it didn't rub me the right way. Yeah. Well, maybe I can. I bet you can. I think we're thinking me the right way. Yeah. Well, maybe I can.

I bet you can. I think we're thinking the same thing here. The music in there. Yeah, the music was not great. It was very heavy handed Christian radio station. And it was like all genres of Christian. It wasn't just Christian rock. There was like Christian electronic music for...

Yeah, it was. It was weird. I didn't really realize what was happening until three or four songs had passed and the interstitials as well, but I guess it was a radio station, but... Just remember, Jesus is the way. Yeah, it was heavy-handed. It was heavy-handed.

With Skrillex, but Christian. Yeah. Yeah. It was a choice. It was a little aggressive. And you know what? I'm gonna go on record and say, I'm gonna give it a little word here, Scott. It was way too much.

This is Way Too Much. I can only hear the word glory so many times in a row. I don't know how many people are going to cook out and coming out saved, I'll tell you that. I don't think that's the place to be doing that. Yeah. Yeah. I also find it interesting that when I hear the word glory, I think of the Lord and glory hole.

And those two things are so diametrically opposite. I don't know what that second word means. Glory hole. Never heard it. Hmm. Yeah. Interesting. I've seen your search history.

Probably. You accidentally sent me a link. Yeah, right, right. I snapshot it accidentally. No, he did not do that. Because if he did, that would in fact be way too much. Way too much. I did find this little interaction between us silly. So it was raining when we came in.

Yes. And we were parked and I looked it up. I chose this place for us to meet there at 10.30 a.m. because their website and Yelp says they open at 10.30 a.m. So we're just sitting in our cars like, you know, just like waving through the rain, pantomiming, playing charades through cars, not wanting to roll down a window because rain.

And people are just walking in. So we look like a couple of idiots in a parking lot. And I'm kind of like sticking to my guns. I'm just like, well, but I said we'll get out at 1028. I know, I was like, maybe we should get out earlier. That guy just went right in there. Then I was like, wait, does he work there? Maybe he works there.

He's getting his driving to work. That was my first thought. That was my first thought. But then more people came. And then I was like, but now I don't wanna be the guy to like go back on my word. And I'm sure you're like I don't want to be the guy to go back on my word. And I'm sure you're like, I don't want to be the guy to go against what he suggested.

So we're both just out of politeness, just sitting in the driver's seat of our cars. Well, you know, you had said 1028, but I want you to know that I got out of my car at 1027. Here I thought you were a law-abiding citizen. I was like, it's been long enough. Let's move it along. So first of all, I did feel like the employees

were trapped behind a black pit. Like the walls around them were just all dark. And they had that one wall, and then it lightened up. It was white. It also seemed like there was no way for one of them to get into the dining room if they wanted to. It felt like- They'd have to jump the counter.

Yeah, you were like, you're at a pawn shop. There's a bar, like, you're not coming in here, we're not coming out there kind of thing. And if they had a shotgun behind the counter, I would believe it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I, I mean, we'll talk more about the service a little bit later, but yeah, it just felt like a weird,

it felt like they were being punished. Yeah, right, right. Just like, you don't get much light to work with. Yeah, you're on KP. We're gonna make you a little bit more depressed just subliminally. Get back in the back and peel some potatoes, yeah. Yeah, so they have my sympathies in that regard.

But there was one other thing that was really unusual that I've never seen in any of the restaurants that I've been to, and at this point I'm approaching, I don't know, between Patreon and the main show, like 80 different restaurants that I've been to or so. Okay, wow. That's impressive. And there was a hand washing station right on the other side of the counter where you

ordered. Not like facing the cashier, but just like around the corner. Yeah. But like you could look over it and make eye contact with the cashier while you're washing. Like it's not in a bathroom. Which I did, by the way. I direct, I made direct eye contact while I was washing my hands. You refused to break. You're playing chicken with them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I direct, I made direct eye contact while I was washing my hands. You refused to break.

You're playing chicken with them. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. It's gonna be you. It's a power play. I'm not gonna crack. You are. Yeah. Meanwhile, they're just like in this black pit of despair. Yeah, they're like, get me out of here.

Blinking SOS. Yeah. Just getting more and more paranoid. Like, is this guy trying to see through my soul? And you're like, do you want to hear about ghosts? Yeah. I can tell you. Yeah, but it was just like a nice brass looking bowl. Like a hammered brass bowl in the sink.

It's kind of short, so I guess maybe for kids. Yeah. And it had the soap dispenser, a mechanical soap dispenser, but a touchless paper towel dispenser. And the fact that it was there out in the open made me wonder a specific question, Scott. Yes. It made me ask, what's going on over there?

What's going on over there? What's going on over there? What's going on over there? Should I wear it? Should I dare? What is going on over there? So Michael, what's going on over there? OK, so I have this weird thought that something's

got to be going on in the bathroom to where they don't trust us Yeah, something you know how they say like OSHA regulations are written in blood or anytime. There's a sign that indicates anything It's like because that rules been broken before yeah, there's something going on in that bathroom It's just like look we've had enough of your shit, customers. We gotta supervise you. Yeah, yeah. I don't know who went into their bathroom and fucked around with the sink,

but someone clearly did. And I don't know, I mean, maybe I'll throw it to you or we can try and figure out together what happened in the bathroom to where they made this choice. I don't know, I don't know. You know what I will say though? While we were there, it was a lot of work crews coming in. It's a bunch of guys from a body shop,

a bunch of guys wearing vests that you wear when you don't want to get hit when you're on the road. Like the reflective orange. So maybe those, maybe it was like just parades of people coming in for lunch with filthy hands. It's people with outside jobs. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

And they want to wash their hands before they eat. And they don't want all that traffic going to the bathroom. I don't know. But here's the other thing I'll say. The sink was tiny and it was one of those sinks where the spout, I hate this, the spout is kind of short. So like to get your hands under the water, you're basically touching the back of the bowl,

barely working out, you know basically touching the back of the bowl, barely working out. Yeah, not enough water pressure. Yeah, things just, they weren't quite right about it. Yeah. Yeah. I think to play on the idea that it's like all these people where it's just like, when you work at a job like construction, you work outdoors,

you don't really have a bathroom, you have a porta potty mindset. Yeah. You have a porta potty mindset. You live a porta potty life. And they're just like, don't bring that into our place. You wash your hands out here. Do not enter that room. Don't go to the bathroom unless you absolutely have to go. We've had enough of your shit.

Yeah, no, I think it's something like that. I think that is in fact what's going on over there. What is going on over there? I think that's something like that. I think that is in fact what's going on over there. What is going on over there? I think that's everything I have to mention with this atmosphere, other than like there was a big sign of a cherry wine bottle cap on the wall. Cheer wine, cheer wine. Bottle cap on the wall.

That was a nice touch, but it just felt so corporate, like sponsored. It felt like when a race car has a logo on it. Well, you know, in the old days, they had those big bottle caps for Coca-Cola that were big metal signs that are now, like on American pickers, they're like $5,000 or whatever. And they're like four or five feet across

that they would hang, I think, at gas stations and stuff. And my best friend growing up had one that we used as a sled when it snowed. And we called it- That sounds so fun. We called it the Coke sign. It was a death wish. It would go like a thousand miles an hour with absolutely no way to steer it.

You were just like, you had no idea where you were going when you were at the top of the hill. Yeah. On the Coke sign. I only just now remembered that. But I thought about that Coke sign internally in the inner monologue, when I saw the Cheerwine one that you're talking about,

which yes was very corporate and clean. They should always be, they should have a patina to them. They should be like- They should be rusted. Yeah. You should not want to touch it in fear of tetanus. Exactly, exactly. Yeah, so that-

If that sign's not getting me sick, then I don't want to see it. I don't want it near me. Yeah, yeah. If it's not covered with lead paint, no, damn so. Anyway. If I should be in the same room as it, I don't want it. Yeah.

It's like the elephant's foot. Yeah, exactly. In Chernobyl. Yeah, not good. Yeah. Yeah, it's like three people took a picture of it and they're all dead. Yeah. Yeah. So we got to score this atmosphere overall, just, you know, from two thumbs up to two thumbs down. How are you feeling about just the vibe set by a cookout? I'm going to go. And you can go right in the middle if you want.

Yeah, I'm gonna go one thumb up and one thumb down. I'm like, it was mostly clean, but it did feel a little bit like an airport bathroom. So basically balanced out to very middling. Yeah, I was like, okay, you guys kept it clean, but I feel like I'm sitting in a bathroom at LAX. Yeah, I did feel like, not that they did this, but it felt like the type of place where to wash the floor,

you just throw an entire bucket down. Yeah, and then you go outside and text until it dries. There's just some sort of solution in there. It'll take care of itself. Yeah, exactly. That's the smell that wafts out at 3.30 in the morning. Yeah, it was clean enough, but it felt sterile in a way that didn't have charm.

Yeah. So I'm actually gonna go one thumb down overall for the atmosphere. It's not the worst thing I've been in. It wasn't dirty. Oh, right, I see. Oh, okay, I see. I didn't understand the scale. Yeah, think of it as like a scale from this to that.

Okay, yeah, I'll go one thumb down then. You'll go one to that. I'm with you on that, yeah. Okay. I always think of, whenever I'm in a fast food restaurant, I always think about how, and this could be apocryphal, it might be made up, but I always think about how years ago I heard that the chairs at McDonald's

were designed to make you uncomfortable after 10 minutes. So you don't spend a- Yeah, so now I'm thinking that like, whenever I'm in a restaurant, and they're like, they want us to leave. This is not quite comfortable. When they're giving you side-eye, it's like, all right. The egg timer has gone off.

We sat there a good while. Yeah, we were there. And to their credit, they were fine. Yeah, there was no cold shoulders there, yeah. Well, they were in a black pit of despair, honestly. I don't think they saw past the periphery. No, and they couldn't get out to say anything to us anyway because they're trapped behind the counter.

Yeah, all right, so one thumb down from both of us. Yeah. That'll do it for the atmosphere. Service. So I don't wanna talk ill of anybody, but I'm not gonna name drop. The girl behind the counter, I wrote this down, her vibe was very much like, I don't know, man, you decide.

Right. Like I just got a vibe where like if I asked her opinion on things, she would have no time for it. Yeah. She wasn't actively rude, but it was like a, it was an undertone where it's like, I'm on the defensive. Yeah, okay.

Did you feel that as well? Well, I felt like, yeah, she might've been phoning it in a little because I felt like we looked like two of the most indecisive white dudes standing in a restaurant in the history of time. It was my first, look, I- We were looking at everything on the menu.

Now, to be fair, you had never been to one, right? Yes. I hadn't been in months and couldn't remember. And most of the time when I go, I get a milkshake, which I'm sure we'll be talking about, but, and sometimes just a milkshake. So we were a little bit kind of like, what do we got? Washi-washi.

I don't know, yeah, yeah. So I could see her being like, oh my God, you know, but unfortunately no one was behind us. And if there is someone behind me, I'm always letting them know. Yeah, yeah. So I could see her being like, oh my God, you know, but unfortunately no one was behind us. And if there is someone behind me, I'm always letting them go. Yeah, yeah, let them go. But to her, I felt like she was very polite and once we started talking, she was like,

cause I was the idiot that didn't figure out that there were the drink, the fountain. Normally now these days, the fountain things are out in the front. They give you a cup and you go fill it up yourself. Yeah, and so all I say is just medium. And she's like, medium what? And I'm like, just give me a medium.

And then she's like, what? And then she pointed to the fountain thing, which I couldn't see because there was a mountain of fountain cups blocking it from where I was standing. And me, I think I was in front of you as well. And then I was like, oh, they do it back there. And I was like, I am so sorry, I am stupid.

I will have a medium Cheerwine, which is, you know, when in Rome. And so I got the Cheerwine, but anyway. But when you live in Rome. Yeah, I know, but I live in a- You are a Roman. But the thing is the Cheerwine around here, for me anyway, it's still a nostalgia.

I only get it when I go to a very certain type of North Carolina place. Cookout would be another one. One of those places. There is a one-off place here, or actually there's two of them, but they have two different names called First Carolina Deli and another called Lox, L-O-X, Stock and Bagel. They're the same owners.

When I'm in there and I get one of their deli sandwiches, I get a cheer one. You get a cheer one. Usually in a bottle. So anyway, so I felt like we were a little bit there, but I didn't get a rude vibe from her. Like once we actually engaged, I thought she was very sweet and tolerant and kind.

And you should be more than tolerant, obviously, if you're a customer facing person. But I wouldn't necessarily say that I would change anything about her behavior. I guess. But you wanted her to come out and be like, well, here's what I would get. I would get the coleslaw and the barbecue.

That's what you're wanting. For a first timer. For a first timer. But she didn't know you were a first timer. Yeah. And it's not even like an expectation that I have barbecue. That's what you're wanting. For a first timer. For a first timer. But she didn't know you were a first timer. Yeah. Right? And it's not even like an expectation that I have that. It's just my ideal.

Yeah. Like I'm not saying she did a bad job. Right, right, right. By any means. But she wasn't warm. And I like a warmth to. Yeah, no, I hear you. I like to be able to joke or whatever.

And I felt like if I would have even cracked a joke, she would have been like, I'm sorry, sir, I don't have time for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I hear you. I got you. But it was just, it was like a standoffish vibe. There was nothing actually standoffish about the behavior. No, you get, you know what?

It's like that thing that you get sometimes where it's a little bit like they're setting the stage and the stage is, look, we're all in a fast food restaurant, basically. Yes. Can we just get on with the business of this needs to happen kind of thing. And there was definitely that.

I'll agree with you there. Let's do the transaction. Yeah, let's get this transaction. But I don't even know how to start the transaction. You have food here, I understand that. But what's the thing? And you would think with all the research that I would know. Yeah, you would have known. You would have come in with your order maybe.

Now one other thing I noticed about the service here, it felt like a weird segregation between front of house and back of house. We had our cashier lady, and then there was another lady from the back, because the cashier was out, I think, grabbing ice or something. And I was trying to get us ketchup for our fries.

I go up to the counter, no one's there. I notice a woman from the back, and I'm just like, excuse me, and she comes up, and I'm just like, can we get some ketchup? And she spent, until the other lady came back, looking for where the ketchup was. And they had like a rack of sauces and none of them were ketchup.

Also this area that she was looking was about 10 square feet. If that, if that, maybe eight. But it just seemed kinda funny to me that it's like you work here and you don't know where the ketchup is. And it's not, I'm not saying that's a flaw in her. I think it's just an interesting,

they have very clearly defined roles. Yeah. This is my domain. You know what I, here's what I think that there is about that from a zone standpoint. I think there is the front of the house and I think the back is the bread and butter because it's the drive-through

and their machine is back there. That's the machine, you know? And then up front it's just like, oh great, somebody's in the dining room. Right. Someone meandered in here, they must be lost or they don't own a car or whatever. But they're not using our bathroom,

the sink's right there. I'm just like, do I pee in this? I gotta go. Yeah, well, you know, with the way that wall is built, they wouldn't know if you looked at it and did the- Can you imagine you're just making eye contact with them? They'd never even know. You're just getting away with murder

in the middle of a cookout. Yeah, yeah, it's not good. By the way, we do not recommend this. This is not advice. This is a hypothetical of, well, you could. Yeah, you could, yeah. Overall, I would say that the service, it was a one down.

And I mean, the scale for this is I'm calibrating against every restaurant I've ever been to. Yeah. This is below what the average service experience is. Okay. When you go to an Applebee's, you at least have someone who comes to your table, takes your order, banters with you.

Well, some places, it seems like they're ramping up on that. You go to some places now and, you at least have someone who comes to your table, takes your order, banters with you. Well, some places it seems like they're ramping up on that. You go to some places now and the service is suddenly way better. And then it's either that or sort of what we got today. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm gonna go one thumb down. It's nothing personal.

It's not a knock on anyone there. I think it's just the setup and the dryness, I think, that we received tonally. I go one thumb down, no malice behind it, but one thumb down. Yeah, I guess I'm gonna agree with you. I'm a little bit reluctant because I wasn't expecting. It never feels nice to say one thumb down on service.

No, but I wasn't expecting a lot more than what we got. Sure. So in terms of like what I expected when I went in there, they were nice enough, I'm kind of a flat thumb, but in the big picture, I think I would have to trend towards the one thumb down with you. Yeah.

All right. Oh, hey there, bud. We heard you like Dungeons and Dragons. Fancy that. We're your Canadian neighbors, eh? Dungeons and Dragons. And we just started season three, which means it's the perfect place to start with us.

Let me give you a little taste of the show. How much is a donkey cost? Russ, how much is a donkey cost? Good question everyone wants to know. us. Let me give you a little taste of the show. Cause. How much is a donkey cost? Russ, how much is a donkey cost? The question everyone wants to know. Is he ever gonna give you up? Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down. Orcas is gonna rule all and then he won't desert you. Find out why Dumgeons and Dragons has been downloaded

more than a million times. Start listening to season three today, anywhere fine podcasts are found or at dumdragons.com. Food. Yum. Yummy. Food. Yum. Yummy. Food. Let's start with food. The reason we came here,

I mean, it's a place called Cookout. It's not called Service Out. That's right. It's not called Atmosphere Out. Yeah. It's called Food Out. Yeah. So we're comparing it to Cookouts, right?

You went to a Cookout, somebody's house, backyard, whatever. Yeah. I mean, that seems to be like what they're aiming for. And I've got to say this, I think I had low expectations for the food, and it definitely surpassed my expectations. Okay, that's good. You know, this wasn't like one of the top meals

I've had in my life, but I genuinely enjoyed everything. I don't think I gave anything here a bad rating, which to me is like four or under. I didn't even give anything a below average rating. Everything's above five for me. So let's just go through it. So I wanna talk about the Cheerwine. Now this isn't gonna factor into my rating overall because it's not a Cookout original thing.

They host it, but it's a North Carolina regional thing. So I tried it. It's not gonna count for Cookout, but I do wanna talk about it. I'd prefer Cherry Coke. To paraphrase office space, I'm gonna have to go ahead and disagree with you there. Yeah, I don't know why.out, but I do wanna talk about it. I'd prefer Cherry Coke. To paraphrase Office Space, I'm gonna have to go ahead and disagree with you there.

Yeah. Yeah, I don't know why, Cherry Coke to me, the cherry part is like too sweet and too chemical. Cheerwine I find is a more natural. I love a Twizzler. I'm all about kind of like a chemically fruit. Not too far, I don't want medicine-y.

Yeah, but no, that's what I feel like with the cherry, but you know, it's always up to the fountain with the cherry, I'd never get it unless it's at a fountain, really. I mean, sometimes you get it out of the can, but like, no, I have to say I prefer Cheerwine, but I've been drinking it since I was in high school, although I moved out of the state for almost 30 years.

So I didn't get it when I was, it's weird, it would turn up in some places in California, and I would be like, oh my God, it's Cheerwine. But there was a novelty to that. I'm going six and a half out of 10. It's not bad. On Cheerwine itself. On Cheerwine. Yeah, I'm going seven and a half on Cheerwine.

Maybe even eight. It's not a huge differential between us. I'm seven and a half. Yeah, like we're within a point. Yeah. But like, yeah, it's fine. Yeah, okay. I liked it.

It was even good, but in its own class, I prefer Cherry Coke. All right. Now for the things that Cookout itself actually offered. We got different sides, but we both got Cajun fries. We both got a tray. And the trays come with two sides, comes with an entree. I ended up ordering a second entree,

and I'm gonna have to go back and get a third burger for September, to just try three different things, Two sides, comes with an entree. I ended up ordering a second entree, and I'm gonna have to go back and get a third burger for September to just try three different things, because that's just the structure of the tournament. Three burgers from each place. So we'll start on the sides. I'll go with my onion rings first to just set the tone.

Two word review, it's fine. Yeah, I'm with you on that. Five and a half out of 10. Nothing remarkable about them, but you know, it's an onion ring. You're not gonna be upset that you got these. I recently started consuming onion rings again at Burger King.

I forgot they had them for about 20 years. So I've started again, and I felt like the last round of Burger King onion rings I had were better than the ones at Cookout today. Yeah. Yeah, there was just nothing. They made no stylistic choice with these. It was just, it was a breaded fried onion.

Yes. That's all it was. Nothing unique about it. Right. Not even a seasoning really. Yeah, yeah, not much going on there. Yeah, so. They didn't wanna polarize anybody.

They played it safe. They did, but where they didn't play it safe, and I think in the proper way, were their Cajun fries. Yeah, those are, yeah. The side we both ended up ordering one fries. Yeah, those are, yeah. The side we both ended up ordering one of. Yeah. These are a very seasoned fry.

Yes. And I thought that the seasoning was great. I did too, I agree. I thought they were delicious. I'd give, I don't know if we're individually rating those. Yeah, everything. Yeah, I would give those an eight, honestly. I went seven and a half.

Yeah, and I would specifically do that because then I told you this when we sat down this morning, through a strange set of circumstances, I'm sort of single dadding it right now because my wife is out of town for work. I've had a high number of burgers and fries over the past seven days. And I just had the Cajun fries at Five Guys

and I find them over seasoned compared to the cookout ones which I thought were better. Yeah, they were right in the sweet spot. Cause a lot of times the five guys ones, it's like you can't even see the french fry. If I get cookout again, this will be the side that I get. There you go. Along with the thing that you got, the hush puppies.

Yes. They did those real well. It was unexpected to me how you make something so simple, so good. Yeah, and that's another North Carolina thing, very much so, especially hand-in-hand with pork barbecue. It's unusual for them to even ask you. If you order the pork barbecue,

you're gonna get hush puppies kind of thing. But there's a, just like the barbecue, which is different from the high country to the low country in North Carolina, like I'm seeing up in the mountains, down at the beach, and in the middle of the state, which is sort of flat, they call it the Piedmont. There's different takes on hush puppies.

Different takes on hush puppies. Different takes on hush puppies and with varying degrees of sweetness. And some have no sweetness at all and are super delicious. This is a little sweet. There was a little bit of sweetness in the cookout ones. If you go to another chain here called Smithfield Barbecue, which was a legendary barbecue joint

that has somehow gone from one place in Smithfield to like a real live full- full blown franchising chain now, and they're all over the place. Their hush puppies aren't sweet at all, but they give you like a honey butter to dip them in. Which is nice. But yeah, I thought the ones that cook out were pretty tasty for the version of hush puppies

that have a little sweetness to them. Yeah, the sweetness is really working for me. They were crisp in just the right way. It had like a corny flavor almost. Yes, yeah. Eight and a half out of 10. I'm going real high. I'm approaching excellent on this. I would tie with you on that.

No, I'm here for the hush puppies. And even when you say that there's a stylistic difference, I don't know if other ways of doing it are gonna be a deterrent for me. I'm just like, they all sound equally, unless you're loading them in s***. Which personally I wouldn't like. It feels like that.

Nobody does that. Whether you sweeten it or not, I'm gonna find a way to enjoy it because. Yeah, they're good. What you pair it with. Yeah, and it is a form of cornbread. It is a kind of cornbread, yeah. I digress.

I wanna know how Hush Puppies got their name. I have no idea. Oh. Sounds like someone was like kidnapping a dog. I know, I might have to look it up. Well, there was a shoe, there was a hush puppy shoe. Oh, that's a brand. That's gotta be what it is.

No, it's not gonna be related. You're kidnapping a dog, and you're like, be quiet, you gotta feed it something. Yeah, right. To keep it quiet. Yeah, maybe so. You're just feeding it with little fried corn balls. That's gotta be it.

I don't even need to Google it anymore. Yeah, we got it. That's what's going on over there. What is going on over there? Over there, over there. All right, got it. Yeah, that's what's going on over there. All right. I'm going to, so with September, the way that I do it typically is I don't actually give the scores for the, I don't reveal the scores for the burgers. Right. I'll vaguely talk about them, but it won't be until September actually starts where I score these burgers.

But you got something, you got a burger that isn't in September, I didn't taste your burger. That's right, okay, yeah. Usually it'd be like, hey, we'll go, we'll order three burgers, we'll split them all. Right, we could have done that, you should have said something. I didn't wanna like impose what you have to order on to you. I know, I would have done that, yeah.

But. I know how food shows work. But yeah, what did, do you want to talk about your burger first? I got the steak style burger and that was attracted to me because it had A1 on it. I love A1, I don't eat it a lot. I love steaks, like really good steaks, but I never get steak sauce with a good steak. Of course. But on a burger, I love a little A1 sometimes and I was like, oh, I should do that.

And so, but I left off one of the toppings that comes in. Normally it comes with grilled onions. I don't care for grilled onions, so I left those off. But it was delicious. It had just the right, it wasn't like swimming in A1. It had just a nice little tangy kick to it. Sure. And it was cooked medium.

I prefer medium rare, but I think, I don't know this for sure, but I think in North Carolina with the fast food restaurants, there's a, I think there's a lot. A policy of like you have to cook at this amount. It has to go medium. That's the case in many regions. Yeah, yeah.

So I would have preferred it medium rare if they, but obviously they're not asking you like what temperature, what temperature would you like your burger? Welcome to Cookout. What temperature would you like your burger? Imagine you go through McDonald's. Yeah, what temperature is that sir? Blue please.

Yeah, smack it on the ash and send it in. Flash fry it. Yeah. So yeah, but anyway, so for me, that's a little overcooked, but that's not on them. I think that's just the way it had to be. But it tasted really good. I honestly don't mind an overcook on a char-style burger because it just feels like, well, it's charred. Yeah, that's true.

That's true. I will say this though, the lettuce and the tomato and everything was cold and crispy. It was so fresh. Yeah, I liked that too. It was very fresh. Yeah, I liked that too. It was very fresh. Yeah, I did like the burgers that I had. You're welcome to give your score.

I'm actually going to make the third burger that I get, a steak style burger. So I'll taste it and average it with yours. Okay, great. And that'll go into September. Well, you know, it's funny. Originally I'd had a lower score in mind because of the temperature it was cooked to,

but now with our discussion of it, I'm remembering that they don't really have a choice there and it was not overcooked. It was cooked perfectly medium, frankly. So taking that out of the equation, my number adjusts up a little bit and I'm gonna say it was pretty tasty. I like the way it was put together

and how the flavors worked and it wasn't too overwhelmed with anything. So I'm gonna give it a 5.23. 5.23. So slightly above the most mediocre burger you could have. Yeah, that feels right. Like it's, yeah, it's good, but not enthusiastic. It's above the pinnacle of mediocrity.

It's above the pinnacle of mediocrity. The pinnacle of the middle. Of mediocrity, yes. Yeah. Reign it in. Yeah. Yeah, and so I got the Cookout style burger. I'm very big on, if a place puts the restaurant name

on their burger, you gotta at least taste it. Yeah, I agree. And this was a chili burger. Had chili mayo, pickles, mustard, and I'm not really a chili burger guy, but I thought they utilized it well. Okay.

So, yeah, this really did surprise me. It's kind of out of my normal comfort zone of burger style. Right, right. I'm not a chili guy. I was impressed by it. There are chili style burgers, but normally what I'm getting, if I go to a place like this,

is what I ended up getting from my other burger, like a barbecue style burger. Yeah. Like a barbecue sauce with typically fried onions. This wasn't fried onions. Oh, right. I feel like it would have helped it if it was like a crispy onion string with bacon. Yeah, I feel like they do that around here.

Yeah. Real big around where I am in LA, like islands. I don't know if you've been to islands. I've absolutely been to islands many, many times. Ventura Boulevard, actually. Ventura Reds. And the Marina Del Rey one. The islands reds are one of their toppings

and it's basically fried red onions. Such a good topping. I can't judge a place for not doing a thing that I would have rather had. The Islands Reds are one of their toppings and it's basically crispy fried red onions. Such a good topping. I can't judge a place for not doing a thing that I would have rather had. I gotta take it as it was. You know what I like at Islands? The Shorebird.

The Shorebird, I remember something off the menu. That's the chicken one, right? Yeah, the chicken, sorry. I had to say that, because it just came back into my head. I've been gone from LA quite some time, but I remember the Shorebird, yeah. They also have great fries.

Yeah, they do have great fries. I love their fries, yeah. So yeah, for the Cook Yeah, they do have great fries. I love their fries. Yeah. So yeah, for the cookout style burger, I'm gonna save my score for September burger, but I will say, I liked it. And I think the score, it'll surprise you. You just gotta wait 11 months to hear. Yeah.

And then the other burger I got was the Out West Burger. Okay. Look, I live in LA. You got it, you got it. It's named after where I came here from. Bacon Onion Mayo Pickles BBQ Sauce. And I feel like it didn't stand out in its category. What was the BBQ sauce like?

What kind of BBQ sauce? Was it like a red sauce, like a tangy sauce? It was a little tangy. Yeah, interesting. I should try that. I just felt like I've had BBQ burgers a lot. And this didn't stand out in that category. Gotcha.

So I think you're going to find a better option. Even if you go across and up the street a little bit to Steak and Shake, you might find a better barbecue style burger. Oh, yeah. So... Wait, there's a Steak and Shake up the street? There's a Steak and Shake. Oh my gosh, it's my town. I didn't even know that.

Oh, I'll try that out. Yeah. But yeah, so the Southwest burger, it was fine. I would even say it was good because that combination of toppings and flavors, to me, those are just good. Right. It's a good combo of things.

Someone cracked that code ages ago and lots of burger places have done it since, and it works. But you're not standing out amongst others. Still a good burger though. And then lastly, dessert. Have we covered everything else? Yeah, I think so.

All right, I got a shake. You have to get a shake when you go to Cookout. Yes. You literally have to. Sometimes that's the only reason I go to Cookout, frankly. They'll punch you in the back of the head if you don't. Yeah. Like if you walk in that door and leave without a shake,

it's just like, oh, what was that? Yeah. So I heard, you know, word on the street, you can mix flavors. Yes. So I immediately had my heart set on a banana pudding shake because I'm a pudding guy. I'm a pudding boy, I love me some pudding.

I'm like an old guy with no teeth. Give me my pudding. The amount of snack packs that I can go through if I buy, I'm like, I'll get like the case of like 24. Those are good. I haven't had one of those in a while. I might have to go to the. I'll get the case of 24. Those are good. I haven't had one of those in a while. I might have to go to the store today. Go pick yourself up one.

Yeah, yeah. You will thank yourself. Yeah. Like, oh, thanks past Scott for thinking of future Scott. Yeah, exactly. But then when I was like, oh, you can mix and match, what goes well with a banana pudding, I got banana pudding, peanut butter fudge milkshake.

How do you put fudge in a milkshake exactly? I don't know. Yeah, okay. Probably the liquid dispenser fudge. Yeah, okay, dispenser fudge milkshake. How do you put fudge in a milkshake exactly? I don't know. Yeah, okay. Probably the liquid dispenser fudge. Yeah, okay, dispenser fudge. Not like thick. Yeah. Yeah.

I will say like just- Fudge is very hard to make. I've tried to make my grandmother's Christmas fudge. I've tried that five times and only one time has it worked. The rest of the times it just never solidified and poured out of the pan into the trash. So I would have been impressed if they'd actually made fudge. If they'd managed to crack that. Yeah, and they out of the pan into the trash. So I would have been impressed if they'd actually made fudge.

If they'd managed to crack that. Yeah, and they'd put those people in the back that don't get to come to the front maybe. The geniuses in the back, the wizard, the food wizards. Yeah. This thing just worked for me. It tasted like Elvis. Yes.

It really did. Just did it have the bacon contingent though. It didn't have the bacon contingent. He liked a little bacon in there. But I was drinking it in between bites of my Out West burger, which did have bacon. Right, so it works out. And I actually, going back to that burger,

I will say the bacon was a respectable cut. Yeah. Sometimes you get a bacon burger and it's just like, this feels like the Hormel. Yeah. Like you can literally warm it in a microwave, super thin and flimsy. Yeah, yeah.

This is not that, it had a good heft to it. It wasn't too much. Yeah, jinx. We said heft at the same time. I never thought that, It had a good heft to it. It wasn't too much. Yeah, jinx. We said heft at the same time. I never thought that, I never would have thought that I would have at any point in my life, actually, said heft at the same time as someone else. First time for everything?

There is a first time. And you jinxed me, so I owe you a Dr. Pepper. Yes, you owe me a Dr. Pepper. Not a coach. Yeah. I really enjoyed this to the point that I'm giving it a nine and a half. Wow.

I'm going close to perfect. On the milkshake. I've got nothing I would change about it. Yeah, yeah, I would say having tried the exact same flavor, it was pretty effing delicious. I would say though, I'm thinking it's funny. You know, we also have here, and I don't know if you've done them or not, we have Sonic, who has a bunch of milkshake choices.

I haven't covered it yet, but I do have one near me. And then when I think about really good milkshakes, all the best milkshakes I've ever had, and worst, and whatever, I love peanut butter milkshakes. Which Five Guys does a really good peanut butter milkshake? My go-to Cold Stone flavor is the chocolate peanut butter lovers. It's like chocolate and peanut butter Reese's Cups.

That was a good shake. I'm not a fudge guy, though. So I don't want to diminish the score just because it had an ingredient the chocolate peanut butter lovers. It's like chocolate and peanut butter Reese's Cups. That was a good shake. I'm not a fudge guy though. So I don't want to diminish the score just because it had an ingredient that I'm not super into in my milkshake. Hey, live your truth, whatever you thought about. I mean, I like fudge, but not in the milkshake.

It's kind of like I love bacon, but not on a burger. Really? That's just where I'm at. To me, bacon's a must have ingredient for a burger. I'm not one of those guys that likes to do all that. But anyway, so what I'm with you, that'm not one of those guys that likes to do all that. So, but anyway, so what I, but I'm with you that it was outstandingly delicious, it had a nice consistency, the temperature was good,

and the mixture was all great, so I'll go nine, not nine and a half. Okay. Yeah. I'm not gonna fight you on a.5 differential. Okay, well then that's good, because I thought we were gonna have to step outside. Maybe I will. Yeah, let's step outside.

Let's settle this, like, men, is that what men do? Men have to fight? Yeah, they fight over milkshakes. Yeah. Like men, is that what men do? Men have to fight. Yeah, they fight over milkshakes. Yeah. Stupid. Men are stupid. All right. Well, yeah, so overall, the food,

I'm gonna go one thumb up. Yeah, absolutely. I'm with you on that. One thumb up. It's not a two thumbs up experience? Like, look, we're not kidding ourselves. This isn't like Master's Steakhouse. Does anybody on your show go to two thumbs up?

Yeah. Okay, okay. Like who? Likeumbs Up? Yeah. Okay, okay. Like who? Like a Portillo's. Oh, okay. Or a, I haven't eaten there. I've heard of it, but I've not eaten there. Yeah.

Born in Chicago. Okay. You know, Italian beef. Oh, is that deep dish? It's Italian beef and Chicago style hot dogs. Oh, oh yeah. I can see where that could be, Two Thumbs Up. And some of the best like crinkle cut fries.

Yeah, okay. That sounds pretty good. How am I possibly hungry? We just ate like three hours ago and we picked out. Because food fricking rules. Yeah, I guess it does, I guess it does. I am ballooning because of how much I love food. So, yeah, so yeah, one thumb up on the food.

All right, great. Okay, Scott, we gotta put this all together into a score to put, I don't have it with me, but the tchotchke of mediocrity, my giant scoreboard comprised of restaurant tchotchkes that keeps track of all the places I've gone. Oh, nice. Cookout needs to go on there. We need to figure out where it belongs. Oh, this is like the lap times on Top Gear.

They had a board for, like, they drove every car on the exact same track with the exact same driver. And they all, yeah, so it was pretty interesting. Yeah, got a big old scoreboard, which at this point has 70 plus restaurants on there, 80-ish restaurants on there. Yeah, that's wild, I wanna see that. I'll show you a picture. And so Cookout used to go up there.

But before that happens, we gotta take a little stop at the calibration station. Scott, I asked you, look, people come on this show. Yeah. I've been doing my body through this rigorous exercise and irresponsible dietary adventure. And I know the difference between a one, a two, a three, a four dining experience, all the way up to a 10. Not that I've given out a 10, but like, you know.

Not everyone's calibrated, no offense, but you just, you haven't done well. You haven't done well. You haven't done well. You haven't done well. You haven't done well. dining experience all the way up to a 10. Yeah. Not that I've given out a 10, but like, you know, not everyone's calibrated, you know, no offense, but you just, you haven't done what I've done. Right. And so everyone comes up on here and they're like, I want to give it the perfect five.

Right. Cause that's the gimmick. Or they'll be like, that was a 10. Yeah. People deal in extremes. Yes. We got to reign in the end. So I need to ask you to define your zero

and define your 10 before you can score cookout. So just 30 seconds each, what's the worst restaurant experience you've ever had? The worst restaurant experience I've ever had actually is a restaurant that was in, outside of Marina Del Rey or in California called Cozy Mills. Was a Mexican restaurant and the food was so bad.

It was a bad experience. It came out cold. It tasted disgusting. And me and my wife went there with one of our closest friends. And in our 20 minute drive home, we were all beginning to have bathroom emergencies. All of you? All of us.

After Cozy Mills. It was not cozy at all. That's like Russian roulette, but they're all loaded. Yeah. you. All of us. After cozy mills. It was not cozy at all. That's like Russian roulette, but they're all loaded. Yeah, and on top of that, when we got back to the apartment, because we'd all left from one apartment, our friend, I couldn't get the key to the gate, to the courtyard to work to go into the apartment,

he scaled the fence, and in the course of that, speared his genes in the crotchal region, nearly taking out the family jewels, but he didn't. And then we threw him the keys and he ran into our apartment to relieve himself of the great pain he was in. I was so worried that you're gonna say he got stuck on the fence and just shat himself there.

That was close. It was close and all of us had really bad experience. That's probably the worst. That was Cozy Mel's outside of Marina Del Rey. It's actually not Marina, it was South of there, it doesn't matter. Los Angeles. Worst you've had. Best you've had.

Absolute best meal I've ever had. I'm a sushi guy. I wasn't always, being from North Carolina, I was kind of rude when I first moved to LA in the late 90s. And LA got me and my wife, cause we met in college, so we went out there together, into sushi.

We started going to these places that were just amazing, and we lived there for 10 years, and then we wound up moving to New York City and lived there for nine years, and we just started going to all the sushi places, and there's one in New York City called Blue Ribbon Sushi. It's one of the OGs at this point. Their first location is on Sullivan Street down in SoHo,

and it's like across the street from Sandra Bullock's Brownstone. She has a Brownstone on that street, I remember now. And that place, its atmosphere, its food, the sushi, everything about it, just nothing comes. Yeah, service team, everything. Nothing even comes close for me. And it's not just the sushi, it's the drinks,

it's the cocktails, it's their house salad, which is like real simple with like this ginger dressing that's homemade that's unbelievable and big, thick slices of avocado in it. I dream about that salad. It's like so good, so amazing. That is my 10 out of 10, even if I could go past 10 for that place, I would. Blue Ribbon Sushi New York, absolutely.

All right, choo choo. Train's leaving the calibration station, you're all calibrated. Yes. We got to give it a final rating. Okay. Final rating. This is going up against that sushi place. This is going up against Cozy Mel's.

Yeah. To the nearest 100th, how do you score, how do you score Cookout? I'm going to give Cookout a 4.72. 4.72. 4.72. Yeah. Slightly below average. Yes. But not far.

Right. I actually am so close to you. Okay. This isn't a unanimous score. That's only happened twice in the history of the podcast. Oh. Which honestly would win to the nearest 100th. Right.

That even happens once, it's kind of wild. Yeah, it is wild. And one time it was on a round number. We both gave it an 8.00. Okay. That was Rudy's Barbecue. Rudy's. It's not just in Austin,

but it's like a gas station barbecue place. Okay. Anyways, that's not the point of this. No, but I feel like I know that place. Does it look like a gas station? It looks like a gas station. I think I know those places. It literally is a gas station.

I think I've seen that place in Austin, but not eaten it. Their barbecue's pretty good. Yes, I know the place you're talking about. I'm driven by it. They have a great banana pudding, speaking of what I ate here, kind of tying it all together.

Yes. This was no Rudy's. But I'm very close to a unanimous score on you. You gave it 4.72. I gave it a 4.76. Wow, we are pretty close, okay. So that means that Cookout goes up on the tchotchke of mediocrity at a 4.74 when you add it all together. ["Cookout"] Who could not quite as good as Cracker Barrel?

Ugh. I'm not mad about that. Look, four to six is that sweet spot of mediocrity, the zone of mediocrity. And I feel like mediocrity gets a bad rep. It does. Like people, they call something middling when they mean bad.

Yeah, that's right. And I feel like that's so offensive to people like me who just are mediocre and unremarkable in so many ways. And it's just like, you know what? Just let me be okay with being in the middle. Let's all embrace the middle. Let's still condemn the bad, but this wasn't bad. Well, there's a certain comfort in predictability.

But it wasn't good. It was just, it was there. It was there. Cookout, 4.74, going up on the tchotchke of mediocrity as soon as I got back to Los Angeles. Nice. But what it was not was the perfect 5.00 out of 10, meaning I gotta go somewhere next week, because we haven't found it. We didn't find perfect mediocrity, So the search does in fact go on. And next week, I mean, the next restaurant,

two part episode, it's gonna be my season finale. We're gonna end season two. We gotta figure out where I'm gonna go. So Scott, I asked you to bring me a substitute of something because I left it in LA. I have a bowl called the You Must Bowl. Yes. Now in season one of the You Must Bowl. Yes. Now in season one of the show, I would have to draw punishments that I would enact at different restaurants like

just things I had to do because the previous place I picked wasn't mediocre enough. Yes. Then a former fake sponsor of the show, JUB, took it from me, buried it. Okay. You're not into the storyline of the show. You don't know the lore of the Fine Dining podcast. Yeah, I don't know the canon. I went and dug this back up once I realized that my guests kept picking places that I'd already been. Oh, okay.

And so I was just like, look, because we used to play a game to compete for who got to pick where I go next. And they just kept picking places I've been. So I'm just like, look, to fight that, play a game to compete for where who got to pick where I go right. Right. And they just kept picking places I've been. So it's like, look, to fight that, we're just going to put it to chance. OK, great. So in this bowl, I've got a bunch of restaurants that I haven't been to yet. So I'm going to pick one out randomly.

I'll announce where I'm going next time for the season finale. Season two finale, the fine dining. finale season two finale the fine dining fighting all right next week I will be going to wing Street oh wow I've heard of that and you know what it's it's the end of October I've got a double down I know we you know we did the spooky restaurants bit here yeah but I feel I

want to go deeper into horror for my season finale, just like I did for the season one finale. So next week, or for the next two weeks, I'm gonna do a special episode called Nightmare on Wing Street. Ooh. Because I'm going to Wing Street. Nice.

You know, that place that serves wings and is half of a Pizza Hut. That's a place you need to sink in the dining room. Yeah. Honestly, it's a practice I wouldn't hate if it popped up more. Yeah, there you go. I'm going to be honest. Scott, thanks so much for coming on.

It was fun. I had a great time. Thank you for having me. Do you have anything you want to say to the people? Give a little Astonishing Legends plug again if you want. Yeah, folks, if you want. Yeah, folks, if you are looking for a new podcast about the strange and unusual deep dives

with over 280 episodes, find Astonishing Legends wherever you get your podcasts or look for the Astonishing Legends Network. We have three or four other shows that are all good. So look us up wherever you get your podcasts or AstonishingLegends.com. Wonderful, and you can follow me on Instagram and TikTok at FindDiningPodcast

and go to my website, FindDiningPodcast.com to join my mailing list and get your survival guide to casual dining, just tips and tricks to how to maximize your restaurant experience. And, you know, I just send out an email to signify each new episode release and all that good stuff.

You can play along to the secret menu mini game by commenting below on this on YouTube or any of the social platforms that you see, Instagram, TikTok, when I clip it, you can comment there and still be eligible. And yeah, we didn't find the most mediocre restaurant in America. It's out there, I'm sure you're gonna find it.

I'm gonna find it. But I didn't this week. Thank you so much for watching. I'm sure you're going to find it. I'm going to find it. Yeah. But I didn't this week. Thank you so much for watching. We'll see you next time. Have a fine day. The search continues. We still need the perfect five.

The search continues. Like and subscribe. The search continues. Our journey did not conclude. The mother of the search continues. The search continues. The search continues. The search continues.

The search continues. The search continues. The search continues. The search continues. The search continues. The search continues. The search continues. The search continues. the search continues. Our journey did not conclude. The mother-rebin search continues. Write us an iTunes review.

And hey, while you're at it, why don't you go ahead and make it five stars, huh? Come on. Follow us on TikTok, the same on Instagram, all the socials, at FindDiningPodcast, we have a website, finddiningpodcast.com, buy our t-shirts then put them on and don't forget you can always suggest where we go next okay we're going to find it Mediocrity, the search continues See you next week! Cough cough cough cough cough

Ah, hurt my throat a little. Have a fine day!