Fine Dining - Costco Food Court History feat. Marisa Pinson & Jon Glover (On Brand with Jon & Marisa) [Part One]

Episode Date: April 3, 2024

Learn the history of America's most iconic concession stand! Marisa Pinson & Jon Glover from On Brand with Jon & Marisa join Michael at the Costco Food Court this week and talk all things, from how many hot dogs we could fit in our mouths to the churro that was just replaced by a cookie "Fine" Dining is now on video! Head on over to our YouTube to watch this episode! How to survive the Costco parking lot Hear the humble beginnings of Costco's Food Court as a hot dog cart in San Diego International Costcos have different regional menu items All the discontinued offerings from the food court! A Yelper is left out to dry when someone who arrived after her gets the last of the item she ordered in this week's Yelp from Strangers The full review comes next week!   Music by: James McEnelly (@Ramshackle_Music) Theme Song by: Kyle Schieffer (@JazzyJellyfish) Segment Transitions Voiced by: Sandy Rose "Fine" Dining is on Patreon! Get an extra episode every month (March's exclusive episode just released, as Michael went to Dallas to review Septemburger 2024's #2 seed Steak 'n Shake with his Dad), extended Yelp from Strangers segments every other week, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, and more! Patreon Producers: Sean Spademan, Joyce Van, & Sue Ornelas   Get the 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!   Send in your Costco stories at [e-mail].   Follow the show on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast Follow On Brand with Jon & Marisa on Instagram @onbrandthepod   Let me know where I should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, PodcastAddict, Overcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. I read every one!   Next week on "Fine" Dining: Costco Food Court Review [Part Two]! We'll finally talk about the horrific way Jon ate his Chicken Bake, and we try the new cookie that replaced the churro. Ever work at Costco? Send your stories to [e-mail].

From this point forward, the word cheese will be bleeped because Michael finds it offensive. Hello and welcome back to the Fine Dining Podcast, the search for the most mediocre restaurant in America. I'm your host Michael Ornelas and I'm doing this because people say things are bad, people say things are good, but at the end of the day, you have to know where bad becomes good to really qualify that. So I'm searching for that in restaurant form. Currently it's Applebee's sitting at a 5.02 out of 10 on the beautiful tchotchke of mediocrity on the wall behind me. In this show, I have very few qualifications

to talk about food, so I bring other people on to lend their expert opinions on eating. And my guests this week, John Glo Glover Marissa Pinson from the on brand podcast they've been eating their entire lives so they're experts in the thing how could you tell that you can tell that I've eaten my whole life the fact that you're not in a body bag the fact that you're fat yes we can tell thanks for coming on the show. Thank you so much. We're very excited to be here.

You guys were the cheapest dates I've ever had because we went to Costco. And if I'm buying somebody a meal, it's pretty nice that I can feed multiple people for like 20 bucks. Yeah, it was, I kind of am regretting not ordering more, even though you did say I could go hog wild Yeah, but the only time I've ever seen your show restraints

True you went hog wild in your own special way and we will get to that we'll get to that yeah But in the meantime welcome to the podcast we're gonna get into it right after this intro song so Let's do that. complimentary butter and bread these walls have growth signs knick-knack cowboy hat good luck cat autographed guitar some grab from your city behold the tchotchke of mediocrity fine dining just fine dining fine dining two letters on the sign are shining neon flickering irregular timing identify the perfect bite. Pal It's 1.30 p.m. on a Thursday, and it's an insane parking lot. Jam-packed. I think if you're gonna go to Costco to shop,

if you're gonna go there to eat, I don't know anyone besides us that went to Costco probably just to eat. You kind of have to... Get it up and bail. Actually, that's not true. Because before you had to have a membership to go to the food court, I would go to Costco just to get a hot dog and a soda or a slice of pizza, because it is a great deal. If you found $1.50 in your couch cushions. Yeah, I'd be so excited.

This is a meal. That giant dog and run over to Costco. But you kind of have, you know what you're getting yourself into when you head over there. Yes, I'm never shocked. I would actually at this point be more shocked to see that the parking lot was not a nightmare. That would actually frighten me. So it's expectations versus reality. I'm expecting it to be bad.

So I'm not caught off guard. I know I'm going to have to search for parking. I would say that the vibe, even though there were a lot of cars coming and going, the vibe was not contentious. In some Costco parking lots, people are out for blood. And the vibe was still veryious. In some Costco parking lots, people are like out for blood. And the vibe was still very friendly. I agree. I might have been part of the problem.

I mean, I didn't fight anybody, but like as I'm like every turn that I go around, I'm just like, this full aisle, I don't see a single thing. I probably went down four aisles and then parked as far as you can get. I think that's the secret is just start out as far as possible and then just kind of settle that you're gonna be walking another 40 feet.

I think at once I realized that is like the driving around for 10 minutes to try to park like 20 feet closer is kind of like wasted time. You know what I mean? Like just park as far away as possible and then take the extra 15 seconds to walk. It's funny you say that my mom growing up our entire lives, she always drove Volvos and she loved her car.

And that was her philosophy. She was always worried that someone would ding her car. She would take the farthest spots. It's a Volvo. It's like the unding-able-est car. The strongest car. A very strong car. Can I tell a Volvo story?

Absolutely. I was a Volvo story? Absolutely. I was a senior in high school and it's early morning, there was this like kind of deceptively more downhill than you think hill every day when I would drive to school. And it's on a highway, but then there's a light. So you're going fast to stops occasionally. And it's the only time that I have crashed my car into somebody.

Oh no. It was a Volvo. I drove a Nissan Maxima. The front of my car crushed like a soda can. It did what it was supposed to do and I wasn't hurt. The person in front of me's Volvo, literally, this is not an exaggeration, had one horizontal scratch. God, that's incredible.

That was it. And then I drove with a crushed front end to the parking lot to my school, left it there, and then used it to get out of third period. That's smart. Because I hated my band director at the time, and I was just like, you know what, Mr. Taylor? I have to account for this problem,

and I'm saving it for right now. Did you get in trouble, like, Mr. Taylor? I have to account for this problem, and I'm saving it for right now. Did you get in trouble, like, with your family? Yeah, kind of. I mean, yeah. They're not thrilled to hear. They're not thrilled to hear. My first day driving that car, I scratched it on something.

Of course, yeah. I've run it into the side of the house before, so. I'm like just now getting okay at driving. I feel like those three things happening to me when I was 16. Uh-huh. I think everyone should be in an accident where like everyone walks away and it's fine. Yeah. And it's just, it does teach you how to kind of back off a little.

The driving is terrifying. Yeah. You do need to have that crash experience. Go crash your car. Everyone at home. That's the message. I drove a Volvo, I had a 1986 Volvo in high school, cherry red. Wow, you rarely see a red Volvo. They're usually like beige or brown.

Isn't a 1986 Volvo a really sexy car for a high school senior? I felt so embarrassed. Now I think of it as being cool, but all my friends had like Honda Civics, and I felt like that was like the cool high school girl car. Or like- A Honda Civic? Yeah, or like a Jeep Wrangler,

or like something a little fun. When I was in high school, it was the age of the Jetta for the girls. A lot of Jettas, Jettas smell like crayons, I don't love that. I was gonna say for us it was the Cabrio, but it was a Volkswagen, like the Cabrio was like the cool girl car,

which I dreamt of. Yeah. And eventually got, yeah. It was not a 1986 Volvo, but now I see it was kind of like a cool kind of alternative cred. And I managed to scratch it. On the freeway, I veered into the lane next to me where a semi-truck had a tire with those spikes sticking out,

and it just shredded the side of the car. And I drew eyes where the scratch was, to make it look like, because it kind of looked like a big tooth. Make it fun. I tried to make my near-death experience kind of whimsical. And that worked. But I thank God for the Volvo. I mean, if it wasn't, I could have been killed. You would have been dead.

I wouldn't be here to record a podcast. The greatest tragedy of all. Wow. Thank God. I know. That you had them all though. I love all of us. The landscaping was stunning.

And here you'll see, like they do tours through it. Did you notice the landscaping at all? No, nobody did. I cannot believe that. It was like a botanical garden. There was a sheer quantity of rose bushes that were very well tended to. I couldn't believe it. If anyone wants to look at it, we went to the Costco in Burbank so they can go to Google Earth and look at the landscaping of the parking lot at that Costco.

Can you write a Yelp review exclusively about the shrubbery? I thought it was gorgeous. And I think maybe I'm just used to like Landscaping and like a shopping center will be just like, you know empty little liquor bottles and like dead plants This was like this was stunning by LA standards. I actually didn't have a hard time parking So I didn't I don't think I saw much of it I did like one and a half like turns down an aisle and someone pulled out and I got super lucky I kind of love that. I didn't have trouble parking feels like a humble brag. Well, I usually, one, I have a lot of road rage so I don't deal well if I can't find

parking. Wait, okay, this is a question because road rage, John has road rage, yes, he probably doesn't want to get too far into specific details, but parking lot rage, that feels a little dicier because you're going to eventually get out of your car. And be face to face with these people. And be face to face with somebody. Well, if the road rage is bad enough, I mean, there are the type of person

who will get face to face with the person on the road. You've never pulled over. Have you gotten out of your car in traffic? No, but I have annoyed someone enough that when we got to a red light, they got out of their car and came up to my window and started yelling at me. My friend was with me. This is years ago, and we still talk about it. It was terrifying because,

you know, this is like before the internet, really. So like now on the internet, everyone's all tough behind their computer, and I'm like, I'm all tough behind my wheel. Like, what could happen to me? And I'm like, oh, this. Like, he can actually hear what I'm saying. And he's like this muscle dude. He's like, what did you say to me? And it was just a nightmare. He, the original internet. He can actually hear what I'm saying. And he's like this muscle dude.

He's like, what did you say to me? And it was just a nightmare. He didn't do anything. And I was like, my... Did you engage or did you just like... Stare straight ahead. No, but I have also had one road rage where I did that with this car.

This is like this kid followed me for probably four miles through Hollywood. And he would pull right up next to me and he would like be trying to yell at me. And I did that. I just did the pretend, like, I don't hear what's happening, I don't know what's happening, I'm leaving my body. So I've had a lot of experiences, but that's another show.

I love that in both these instances, you're the victim of the other guy. What did you do that preceded this confrontation? Probably nothing, I'm usually in the right. Probably nothing, uh-huh. I'm usually right. If I've learned one thing in life, then I'm usually right. Well,'ve learned one thing in life, then I'm usually right.

Well, do you want to learn more things in life? Because I have a whole bunch of facts about Costco, and you guys might know some of them, but I want to dive in. We love it. All right. We're going to go into this week's Eat Deets. Eat Deets. Eatery details. Eatery details. Eatery details.

Eatery details. Originally named Price Club, Costco first opened in 1976 by entrepreneur Sol Price in a converted airplane hangar in San Diego, California. It was only for small businesses at first before opening

to non-business customers. Do you know everything I'm going to say? for small businesses at first before opening to non-business customers. Do you know everything I'm gonna say? I don't. We have done an episode on Costco. It was her episode, so she knows more. The great thing about me is I forget everything. I'm the same way. I literally used to work on a television show

called Biography, and I would spend nine months, every episode was about a particular celebrity. I would spend nine months researching their life, talking to their families, their children, and then when it would come out a year later, I remember with Jessica Lange, I was watching the episode and I was like, she has four kids? And like, I had done all the research on all of her children.

Like, I just forget it all. You see your name pop up in the credits, and you're like, oh, I worked on that. I'm the one who told them that. What the hell? So, yeah, I will I worked on that. I'm the one who told them that. What the hell? So yeah, I will know some of it. I didn't remember that. Yes, we have very bad, I don't remember that either.

Great, great, good start. In 1983, Jim Sinegal and Jeffrey H. Brotman opened the first Costco warehouse in Seattle, Washington. The company went public in 1985 and became the first company ever to grow from zero to three billion dollars in sales In less than six years. Oh my god, that's incredible and three billion dollars six three billion three billion dollars So I've still got about four and a half years for this To be on track with Costco, okay, you're're at your first billion though, aren't you?

But I'm not at three billion. Okay, you'll get there. We got lucky. The first bill's the hardest. That's what they say. The first one's the hardest one. Costco and Price Club merged in 1993 under the name Price Costco after Sol Price refused an offer to merge with Walmart. They went back to just the name Costco in 1997.

Yeah, four years is just Price Costco. It feels like a needless portmanteau. I think that was a good move to lock that off. Yeah, roll off the tongue. They had 206 locations generating $16 billion in annual sales. Oh my God. Wow.

And that was at the time of the merger. That's a lot of chickens. That's, are we even at the chickens yet the merch. That's a lot of chickens. Are we even after chickens yet? No. When do we get to the chickens? That's really all it is for me. As of November 2023, Costco has 871 warehouses worldwide with over 600 in America, 108 in Canada, 40 in Mexico, 33 in Japan, and most interestingly to me at least, one in Iceland.

Ooh, that is on my wish list of places to go. I'm a big Bjork fan. Costco in Iceland? Yeah, I don't want to go to Iceland to see Bjork. I literally want to go just to go to the Costco. I want to go see the Northern Lights. Iceland has been the aurora borealis. In the parking lot of Costco.

Just like sitting back, sleeping bag on top of your car. Yeah, that's not the Northern Lights, sir. That's just the lights of Costco. Did they have a $1.50, like pickled fish or something? I was gonna say, I'm sure you have this in your research. If not, did you know that in the Costco food courts around the world, you will find different items? Are we getting there?

Oh boy, did I? Did you know that? Oh boy, do I. Okay. Shortly, my friends, shortly. Now, for the food court specifically, it all started in 1984 with an independent hot dog vendor who was brought in to sling his sausage

outside the San Diego location. By the late 80s, Costco opened its own food court called Cafe 150 that sold its now famous hot dog and soda combo for... A dollar fifty. Wow, what a deal. They're never gonna raise the prices. It's like the deal. They're never going to raise the prices. It's one. It's like the chicken.

It's just always going to be that way. If the prices start getting too high, they're going to figure out ways to keep it at that price. You will not be eating hot dog. But yeah, they will. They'll adjust the meat before they'll. I mean, honestly, I think they could afford to adjust the meat a little bit. That hot dog is long and thick, and I'm sure we'll get into it later, but $1.50 for the size of this hot dog is pretty egregious.

I mean, I think it's a nice size. I would say it's an average size. You have no notes? Regardless, it's how you use it, okay? It's how you use it. You know, I think we all probably see the length and girth of the Costco hot dog in different ways. Uh-huh. Right. I am not a hot dog size queen, so... How many Costco hot dogs do you think you could get in your mouth?

Do... Simultaneously, or am I consuming them like... No buns, just the raw dogs. You mean eating or just stuffing in your mouth? Like, how many can my mouth hold? Yeah. Chewed or not chewed? Not chewed.

Just probably maybe one. Like, it's large. OK. It's a limit. It's large. One. You think two? I'm talking like cigarettes, like just the tips.

Oh. Um. Six. You were about to say three. I think six. I was gonna say three. You could get six in there. It's a pretty cheap experiment.

Yeah, let's go. Give me 10 bucks, I'll be back in a half an hour. It's a shame we just lost the game. You only need nine, you literally get a buck back. And six sodas. Oh my God, he's so good at math. Wow. Wow.

It's the Rubik's Cube. I think it might be adjacent to the Rubik's Cube part of your brain. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like Rain Man. I'm basically on the spectrum. Wow, that's the Rubik's Cube. I think it might be adjacent to the Rubik's Cube part of your brain. You're like Rain Man. I'm basically on the spectrum. That's awesome. Craig Jelenik, the current CEO of Costco, revealed in 2018 that he approached Senegal, one of the founders, about raising the price of the hot dog combo, saying, Jim, we can't sell this hot dog for a buck 50. We are losing our rear ends.

According to Jelenik, Senegal replied, if you raise the effing hot dog, I will kill you. I love a threat over a hot dog. I do too. I love that. I love someone that says we're gonna lose our rear ends. I feel like because he's talking to a news outlet and relaying it, like, I don't think they said effing either. I really respect that. Well, I like a... Listen, we do a podcast on brands.

I like a brand that knows what they're strong in. He knew what that hot dog value meant to its customers and he held strong, so I admire that. I mean, we're literally talking about it on a podcast decades later. Yeah. A staple to the brand, let's dive into this hot dog specifically in the Soto combo. The hot dog sausages were kosher and supplied by Hebrew National and Sinai kosher until 2009.

At which point Costco was like, I think we can make our own hot dog for cheaper. And they decided to do that. You know, that's actually what they're doing with the chickens. I think it's happening either this year or next year. As it becomes more expensive to like buy chickens from someone else, Costco is opening their own chicken plant so that they can keep the prices low.

So I think that's probably what happens with the hot dog. They're like, we'll just buy a hot dog factory. We'll just do it ourselves. Cut out the middle man. It's pretty smart, though I will say, and I know we're not here to talk about the chickens, I have heard people say, You're here to talk about the chickens.

I mean, I like the chicken. He never stops talking about the chicken. He has a thing where he's, what do you say? You should never. Look, that's not even a thing. You should never look under a chicken. You should never look underneath a chicken. Underneath a Costco chicken is really gross,

but out of context, that doesn't make it. I'm sorry, after how you ate your chicken bake, you do not get to judge the appearance of any food. That's a really good point. This is why I'm single and why I eat most of my meals alone. I eat things in weird ways. Don't watch me. Look away.

I'm hideous. You do not want to watch me eat a Costco's chicken because it involves me skinning it. You unhinge your jaw like a snake. That would probably be less disgusting because at at least it would be like happening inside his mouth. How many Costco chickens do you think you could get in your mouth at once? Three. Yeah, that's right.

That's the right answer. That's the number. Some US locations sell Polish sausage or bratwurst at the same price as the hot dogs. In Australia and New Zealand, a hot dog made of pork with a large soda is $1.99. Crikey. Thank you. You're welcome. Marissa, Marissa, Marissa.

You don't want to give me positive reinforcement for bad jokes because I will. She will do them to death. To death. To death, to death. Let's see where this goes. In Mexico, the hot dog is made of 100% beef and includes a drink with refills for 35 pesos. Ay carumba? Yeah, that's right.

That's what I was gonna say, yeah. Pinson, pin, pin, pin son. El pin son. La pin son. La pin son, all right. In Pinson. La Pinson. La Pinson. Oh, I'm. Mm-hmm. In the UK.

Oh no, okay. The hot dog is also made from beef and customers can get a drink with refills for a pound and a half. Blimey. What do you have? That's not blimey. That's not blimey.

That's like Irish. Oh. British would be like. Don't feed her. British would be like, oi. That's why I had to feed her. The British would be like... Don't feed her. British would be like, oi. That's why I had to feed her. The British would be like, oi. Sometimes you have to feed her.

Careful. Uh-huh. And in Taiwan and Japan. Oh boy. Pass, pass, pass. The 120 gram hot dog is made of pork and comes with a refillable 600 milliliter drink for 180 yen. That sounds delicious. End of comment.

You ever see someone just abandon a bit? Yes. Because of good judgment. Exactly. This is on the internet. Yeah. The hot dog and the chicken bake are also available in the frozen foods aisle. Slight difference between the frozen and fresh chicken bakes. Food court bakes are made from fresh ingredients and leftover pizza dough.

Oh. And the frozen ones are unmentionables. So, you liked the chicken bake so much, you can actually get it to take home. Again. I hate the chicken bake, but we're not there yet. Here's the thing. You did get an experience that goes home with you.

Like, yeah. This will haunt you. Exactly. Speaking of the chicken bake, here are the other items on the food court menu. The roast beef sandwich for $9.99. Sliced roast beef, onion relish, a mayo mustard blend, lettuce, roasted cherry tomatoes, and red onions

on an artisan roll. At this point, I'm just reading you guys a menu. I'm sorry. No, it's okay. We love it. I love an artisan role. What makes it artisan? When does it go from being a normal role to an artisan role? I believe an artisan is back there, an artist.

An artist, they hire a baking artist who makes those hoagie rolls. Like an eighth generation roast beef maker. I work at a patisserie. I like that. Yeah, yeah. Pizzas, a buck 99 a slice $9.95 for the whole thing. Unbelievable.

Pepperoni, sold by the huge slice for $1.99 and the 18 inch whole pizza is $9.95. They've gotten rid of their veggie pizza, which a lot of people are upset about. The supreme, I think. And the whole pizza, supreme pizza, weighed four and a half pounds. Oh my gosh.

Yeah, that's too much. I don't like it. I'm a cheese pizza kind of guy. I know you don't like the word cheese. I'm familiar with your... It's not just the word. It's the concept. I mean, listen, you also eat pizza.

So I don't, it's a very, you're a complicated man when it comes to cheese. I am not a black and white individual. I will say I have more than once called Costco and pre-ordered a pizza and then gone and grabbed it. How did you feel on that drive over? Fine, I mean, it was like a $10 pie. Like close to my house, easy, didn't have to wait

in the line, no riff-raff, in and out. Obviously it's not the same, but it's very close to like, oh, I live by this park where they host, like, Little League baseball games. They have a concession stand. Let's just pop on over for a quick dog. Wow. No. It's good pizza. You, I... It's a concession window.

I've only known you for a couple of hours, but in that time, I've seen you wolf down a slice of that pizza. I know you enjoyed that pizza. Yeah. There wasn't a crumb left. And it is like the quantity of pizza you get for that price. It's like with the hot dog. It's like Costco is like more is more.

They're not like skimping and giving you like little thin crust pizza for 9.99. No, they're committing. And it's always gonna be the same because I'm sure you're about to tell us it's made by robots and it's got a pound and a half of on it. Sorry. I'm a researcher for a half of s*** on it. Sorry.

I'm a researcher for a living here. Let me just have this. Just pair them up for me. So. So the soda, 69 cents. Don't get me started on the soda. I'm getting started on 69. It's not Coke anymore.

Oh, 69. Nice. Yes, Pepsi products. They switched in 2013 to keep prices low with free in-store refills. Trash, I stopped going there a lot because of that. I hate Pepsi. You called in an order and picked it up.

But I didn't go there. I don't get the hot dog anymore. I don't like Pepsi. When a restaurant, we've talked about this. It's Pepsi products. I know. They have other things that are also trash. Other shitty things. When I find out a restaurant. You don't like this. It's Pepsi products. I know. They have other things that are also trash.

Other shitty things. When I find out a restaurant. You don't like Starry? Nobody likes Starry. All Starry is is... Sierra Mist. Sierra Mist, which was something else. Like they change the name every 10 years.

Yeah. No, Sprite is a Coke product. I mean, it's the knockoff. That's what I... Thank you. It is Sprite-esque. It is 7-Up-esque. When I find out a restaurant is a Pepsi restaurant, like Taco Bell, like KFC.

The Yum brand's places. I think of them as lesser restaurants. Here's the thing. I like me a cherry Pepsi. I don't think it's better than Cherry Coke. God. But I like a cherry Pepsi. In a pinch, that could be as good as you get.

It's like medicine. It's, not true. It is like medicine. It's not true. Sometimes medicine's good. Ever have orange triaminic? When I'm thirsty, I... We're talking about Lutens-Coftarops. That's medicine. Oh, I did love a Lutens.

Oh, you were talking about a medicine. I thought you were talking about a disease. Like, sometimes medicine's good. Ever have leukemia? Like, hey, we're not laughing at anyone who has leukemia. There's medicine. Triaminic is the liquid medicine. I think it's just for kids, but hey, youo. There's medicine, it's triaminic is the liquid medicine. I think it's just for kids, but hey, you know,

if the thirst strikes, orange flavor. Just the fact that this is where the conversation has gone based on you drinking cherry Pepsi shows you how gross cherry Pepsi is. Go on. I'm ranking medicines in terms of most to worst delicious. Okay, Robitussin, bottom of the list. Terrible.

What are those cough drops? Ludens cough drops. Ludens or sucretes. Sucretes, those are the top. Oh, yeah, sucretes. Cherry, cherry sucretes. When I was young, sorry to go on another tangent, no one remembers this except me.

We had Coca-Cola cough syrup. It was this tiny little bottle of basically Coca-Cola concentrate, but it was a cough syrup. And I remember sneaking and taking little sips of it because it would give me that little like Coca-Cola. Are you old enough that you had Coke when it still had cocaine in it? Jesus freaking Christ. That was like turn of the century. Did somebody pick up this bottle at like an estate sale?

I don't think this was like it existed then. It did exist. I'll find it. But I will say just to continue this because you brought it up I do have a bottle of Coca-Cola that my grandmother gave me that on the label. It says cocaine no longer Included that's fun. You have to go to the doctor and get it extra Batteries sold separately the ice cream sundae 249 vanilla ice cream topped with strawberries or chocolate Moving on can't miss with that. It's great.

Good value. I enjoyed it. Sweet treat. The portions, again, quite generous. They're big. They're all gonna be big. Yeah. The chocolate chip cookie.

Okay, so we just try. Are we getting into the cookie now? Let's dive in. So the cookies. Oh, you got a thing. Let me, hold that anger. There's news related. No, I'm waiting. I'm waiting.

Oversized cookie comes warm, made with all butter and a mix of bittersweet and semisweet chocolate chunks. What does that mean, all butter? Like no margarine or shortening. And replace the churro on the menu in January 2024. Hugely controversial. You guys are watching this in April, but it is currently January 2024.

And a lot of people are upset about it. Go. Listen, I don't have a ton of thoughts on this one. I usually, I always think a churro sounds good. I don't think I've ever had a great churro. I have. Okay, maybe. But, I totally, the differential between your expectation

and what you get, most of the time, they're not great. Oh, I completely disagree. I love a terrible cold churro that's been sitting in the roller for 18 hours. I love a little churro. I think a good churro is, ugh. You look like you would like a cold old churro. I will take a churro however I can get it.

I want to taste the world's greatest churro because I definitely have not. Okay, travel the world. I went, we did an episode on Bubba Gump Shrimp Company and specifically chose the one at Santa Monica Pier because there was a vendor for churros right next to... Oh! That was like the best churro I've ever had in my life.

So I picked that location and went down there. Gone. That guy know where to be found. Gone. Different people slinging churros and paled in comparison. Wow. I gotta say, the thing I'm most shocked about

what you just said is that we have a Bubba Gump here in town. I didn't even know that we had one. We have two. We have three. Long Beach, I think the Pike has one. But also Universal City Walk has one. Oh, wow. That is not on my radar at all. Every chain restaurant in this city is on my radar. That makes sense.

John had a bathroom emergency at a Bubba Gump one. I don't, I mean, you bring up the weirdest things. Can you not go into detail? No, it wasn't what you think. We were in Hawaii and I had to go to the restroom. You were on a long walk. We were on a long walk and I had to go to the restroom. I ran into Bubba Gump shrimp to go to the restroom. And while I was in the restroom, I was like, you know,

in the one that had the toilet with the door, I had my own little space. Some, like, kid, like some teen, I don't know, probably like... Starts crawling under you. No, but like some 10-year-old, I could see his feet. He just starts like walking around and pacing, trying to talk to me.

Is he taking a call? Yeah, I don't know what was happening. Like, it was so weird. And I don't know, listen. He was talking to you, right? He was talking to me. What was he saying to you? I don't remember because I tried to block it out. Maybe he was on the spectrum.

Maybe something was going on that I didn't understand, but it was very like, I was like, I can't be in this bathroom talking to a child. So I just sat there quietly while he just did his monologue. It's a really vulnerable place without the bathroom of a chain restaurant. Yes, I cast him. You just from the toilet just...

We stay in touch. Slow clap. Standing up and you're like, oh, I should not stand right now. Yeah. All this to say, I'm sad I didn't get to try their churro again. It's not, like, I haven't had it before,

so it's not like I was hyped to revisit it. I don't think you're missing anything. not like I was hyped. I think I have I don't visit it But I don't think you're missing anything. I think so mean to step on you. I I don't think you missed out That's why it's gone They have a cold brew mocha freeze. Is that what that's what I got. I'm still vibing I'm still vibing I don't I no longer think I need to go to the emergency room, but there was a moment where I was driving and I'm like Oh

Everything has like a trail following it. Yeah, I've got pretty amped there for a bit. So believe it or not, this is me chilled out. She tried to flip a table and it was like, it's screwed in. You're not gonna succeed. Hooked out a little bit, but it was great. But it is made with Kirkland's signature Colombian beans with chocolate.

There's the rotisserie chicken Caesar salad, rotisserie chicken breast romaine, Parmesan sh** and Caesar dressing, which, I mean, that's your rotisserie chicken. I didn't realize that that's what was in there. Again, I made the wrong choices. And you confidently were like, chicken baked. Put me down.

You did say you don't think you'd like it. Here's where I'm coming from. I didn't know how your show worked as far as getting food. In my head, I thought we were just ordering everything. And I was like, while I'm here, I want to try the chicken bake. That's why when you guys were... I offered you a bite of my hot dog,

and you looked at me with the most disgusted, like... You had one third of a hot dog left. With like, sad, only ketchup on it. And it was cold. I'm a mustard boy, first of all. But that's why I called Marissa in a panic when you guys were ordering. I was like, wait, because I was sitting there

and I realized, I was like, I think the chicken bake is my meal. I thought we were all going to have a bite of each thing. He did ask you. He said, John, what do you want? And you just said, chicken bake. How is he going to know that you're ordering this ironically? And then I said, would you like more? And you went, chicken bake.

I felt, because I've never? And you went, chicken bacon. Cause I've never tried the chicken bacon and I figure if I'm ever going to, today's the day. Yeah, that's high risk. And today was the day. Yeah. And then, yeah, they have the chicken bake, which is chicken breast,

chicken bacon and Caesar dressing wrapped in bread. There was a quality change that has recently affected the taste. A lot of people were like, oh, whether they changed ingredients or something, but something changed and people online are talking about it. People who used to like it now don't like it. It used to be good.

Whoa. I don't know good, but... Now it's what I had. It wasn't good. If you had eaten it out of a dog bowl, I would have... It would have felt appropriate. It was, I know Marissa's obsessed

with how big all the portions were at this place. That chicken bake was twice, if not three times longer than I thought it was. I expected it to be hot pocket size. I thought it was hot pocket size. It was kind of two hot pockets on top of each other. Yeah, and then another pocket.

It was three pockets. And none of them hot. And none of them good. Canadian and French Costco food courts sell poutine. Australia sells meat pies. And South Korea sells teriyaki bowls. Quick, do your South Korea. It sounds like a good idea.

I support it. I would love to try it someday. Great. You nailed that. End of comment. Good PR agent. Now poutine, that's another thing I feel like I've never had a good version of

that I would like to try a really good one. The concept disgusts me. Oh, I think it's saying gravy great cool fries All right. Yeah, you're not a gravy guy. I'm not just guy Well, yeah, but it's like it's your only issue with it or is it gravy? I'm okay with gravy. Okay I'm not like a great. I'm not like lining up I'm not lining up to try gravy. Have you ever thought, okay, now listen. Waking up in the middle of the night, desperate for a sip of gravy. I don't know how much you've gotten into sh**

over the last couple of years on your podcast, but when someone tells me something like, I don't like sh**, it's the same thing. There's a bunch of different types. Yeah, I have a friend that's like, I don't like pie. It's like, there's so many kinds of pie. So here's the thing. There's so many kinds of sh**.

The way that sh** is made, the fact that it's like- Mold. It's like there's so many kinds of pie. So here's the thing. So many kinds of. The way that is like made the fact that it's like mold. That's the thing. So you don't definitely not want like a cave. That's where they just mold in a cave. I'm not even educated enough on to know that that's an option, but that sounds horrific. What about like a mozzarella stick? No, all right.

What's the tidiest s***? Like the one that's like so far removed from like a blue, stinky, visibly moldy s***. I think it would be string s***. Probably a string. It's mozzarella, which he does like on pizza. And I would eat string s*** as a kid, like accidentally. Uh-huh.

It's a hard thing to eat accidentally because you have to pull it. How do you accidentally eat strange? Like not paying attention to what I was grabbing or something and he thought he's peeling a banana Like I know I don't like okay interesting interesting interesting interesting There's so many ways to be I love interesting. There's so many ways to be, I love it. There's so many ways. I'm a very picky eater, so I totally get it. Like I don't think I've ever had like ribs.

There's so many, no. You're also, you have been a vegetarian for a lot of your life. Yeah, but even so, I feel like my being a vegetarian was like not mostly, but a big part of it is that you get to be a picky eater, like concealed as being ethical. But like, I only had like fish or like shellfish,

like for the first time recently, I'm like very select. So I get it, I get like the weird mental thing. To eat s***, you do have to kind of like do some mental gymnastics. There's a hurdle you have to get past. Yeah. S*** is so good. And if you eat it correctly, if you put the right, you put jam with it,

you put a cracker with it. To me, you're just ruining jam and crackers. I would love jam and crackers on their own. On their own. Yeah, you're just making them work. Costco has also discontinued many items throughout the years. They had a sh** burger that they tested only in Seattle from 2017 to 2020. They've had a vegan al pastor salad,

which disappointed carnivores and Mexicans alike. That sounds terrible. Don't tell me. It was jackfruit. It's always jackfruit. Oh, I don't know. Discontinued around 2018 because of poor sales. They had an acai bowl. Oh. Added in 2018 as a rare healthy item for the menu,

but was super high in sugar. I was gonna say, probably 1,400 calories. Just continued in 2020, not quite sweet enough to replace dessert options like the hand-dipped ice cream bars and not quite filling enough to replace a full meal like the chicken bag. That's disappointing in that kind of no-man's land of something that's disguised as healthy.

Like, you go to Starbucks and you see a bran muffin is more sugar than a chocolate chip cookie. Or even just like a juice. Like, you go to this fancy juice see a brand muffin is like more sugar than a chocolate chip cookie. Or even just like a juice. Like you go to the fancy juice bar and it's like all sugar. It's like if you're gonna have something healthy, you're not even gonna get that like thrill, you know what I mean, of indulgence. Yeah. That's a bummer.

You know what I had in 2019 at Costco that was so good? It was a pulled pork sandwich and it was so greasy and so delicious. And then I went back like a month later to get it again and it was gone and They were like sir. We've never had a pork sandwich here ten years ago, but it died No, it was gone and that's when I learned and I feel like I are you gonna say this I was about to say the barbecue brisket sandwich. Oh, no, but that's when I learned that they have one slot Yes, okay. Yeah, do you want me to say it? You say it.

All you. No, okay. They have one rotating slot so they can try out these new things. And that barbecue sandwich was on that slot and I guess it didn't do well enough, it didn't come back. But I thought that was really neat. That's fun.

Yeah, the barbecue brisket sandwich 2018 to 2020, it was 4.99 and apparently it was a good sandwich but still got discontinued. Maybe that's what I had. I can't imagine it was a pulled pork interface. Yeah, $4.99. That is so affordable. It's a good price point. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good... Wow. Because I remember it being $5. That must have been what I had.

Yeah, I didn't see pulled pork on you. It was really delicious, but so greasy. Like your pizza today, like you're almost like, how can there be this much grease on this? Yeah. They had a mango smoothie, first tested in Australia in early 2023, then then Hawaii now at Costco locations in Oklahoma Washington and California We I have had the mango smoothie. It's recently been replaced by the berry smoothie. That was at the

very one the mango smoothie It was just made of frozen mango So it was really good to like keep your children busy in the shopping cart because it was just like, they're getting hopped up on sugar. And their brain freezing every so often to slow them down. But then it's also like, well, it's like they're eating, what, 35 mangoes? How many mangoes does it take to blend up and fill a cup?

I remember after my kids drinking that being like, oh God, is there gonna be a bathroom situation? There's gonna be repercussions. This is a lot of fiber for two-year-olds. That's the thing, the savings that you get out of Costco, the payment comes later. Yeah, you pay in another way. Yeah.

The most brutal review of the mango smoothie. Costco's new mango smoothie is trash. The color looks weird and it tastes like baby food. It was very baby food-esque. So it was great if you have a baby you're trying to get food to. Yeah. They had beef chili discontinued in 2023

Having beans in it made many Texans unhappy because they're very Wow. They only have me only to me only I support that I love a meat only chili. That's where I'm from. You're from Austin, Texas. I Know at 512 although I was born in Chicago I'm kind of a nomad of all places. They had a cinnamon sugar pretzel, disappeared sometimes in the early 2000s. They had gelato offered at 16 stores in the US, three scoops and a waffle cone for 150. Three scoops?

50 cents a scoop. Gelato, I feel like if you go to a gelato place, you end up getting like, it feels like two ounces of ice cream, so to apply like like, it feels like two ounces of ice cream. So to apply like something that you have a small quantity of like with Costco proportions, that's a lot of gelato. Yeah, and it's only a dollar 50.

I live in a part of Los Angeles that has been referred to as the Cone Zone because we have so many ice cream. Referred to by you and only you. No, it was in the papers. Cause you got mad about it. You were jealous. She loves ice cream

and she was jealous that I lived in the cone zone. His neighborhood has so many ice cream places. It's insane. Like, every week, a new ice cream place is popping up. Are you in Hollywood? Los Feliz. OK. But you get like a pint of ice cream for like $12, $15.

So Van Luen by UCB has my new favorite ice cream flavor. What is it? It's like the, uh, Hot dog? It's got like six, yeah, the hot dog. Is it like fancy ice cream? It's like the peanut butter brownie, cinnamon, honey cinnamon or something.

Yum. Try it. Those are all great words. You won't go to a different thing. Say more ingredients. That sounds delicious. You're just edgy. I keep saying the peanut butter. I get, I keep getting off subject, but I get an ice

cream in Ohio that has like a thick swirl of peanut butter, which I never find anywhere else and it is my favorite ice cream. Yeah. And that's my go-to at Cold Stone as well, the peanut butter lover, or peanut butter cup perfection. Yeah. Yummy. But apparently their gelato was good, discontinued in 2015.

Then they had a carne asada bake. Ugh, the bake. The bake is going to give me like reflux. One user called the carne asada bake a tasteless wonder wrapped in calories with all the looks and flavor of a dog's vomit. People were really poetic with their... Really? Love to write a review. The way the carne asada bake was served meant that its pico de gallo and guacamole would be warm. Oh.

A transgression that no self-respecting Mexican restaurant would ever commit. Hot guac. Tragic. Hot guac. That was my nickname in college. Hot guac. Yeah, I like it. I can see why.

Yeah. I am a quarter Mexican. And quite guac-y. Between harsh reviews on the flavor and overall weirdness of a hot pocket style dish with authentic burrito ingredients, the carne asada bake turned out to be nowhere near as popular as the original chicken bake. It feels like they have like leftover stuff from Costco

and they're figuring out how to like reconfigure. Yeah. Well like the chicken bake is made with pizza dough. That is a leftover product. That's probably how that came to be. And like the leftover chicken is probably from like the rotisserie chickens. So I can see, yeah, they're just like,

what can we slop together at the end of the day? Yeah, they're calling it a bake. Slopping it up in Casca. Calling it a bake. And then they had french fries, still common in Canada for their poutine, available in 2018 at select stores, including two in Virginia.

It was a buck 25, whatever, french fries. They had a bulgogi bake, it's hard to say. Bulgogi bake. Bulgogi bake. Bulgogi bake. Bulgogi bake. What's a bulgogi? It's like a style of Korean meat.

Oh. Bulgogi. Yeah, it's like if you ever go to Korean barbecue, bulgogi is like one of the normal cuts that they bring. I love Korean barbecue. And mango boba tea, which were only available in Australia, Taiwan, Korea, and Japan. And then diced onion was one of the toppings that they had discontinued in March 2020,

but returned in May 2023. Mmm. All right. Some fun facts about the food court. At over 400 locations, Costco is in the top 20 pizza chains in the U.S. Pizza sauce applied by a pizza sauce robot. Wow.

You can pay for food court items at the regular Costco checkout, then show your receipt to the food court employee to receive food. I don't think I knew that. Wow. So you can be like, hey, ring me up for a dog while you're checking out and then go and pick it up.

I love that. I think you still have to wait in line to show them the receipt, right? So that's- You skip the kiosk step. You're skipping the kiosk. Well, the kiosk is new and I have thoughts about that, but we'll get to that later.

Yes, we will. There have been multiple petitions on Change.org to bring back discontinued items like the Polish dog and the Berry Berry smoothie. Change.org, I mean, isn't that just a wasteland of bad ideas? And a few good ones. A few good ones, yes, but like-

Has it ever changed anything? Yeah. I honestly don't know. That's what I want to know. Do they ever change? I don't know. There's your movie. I don't do a lot of follow-up when I see a change.org campaign. That, Damon, is change.

Be the change. If your food isn't hot, you can ask for a free replacement. Now I don't know what the light window is on waiting. I'm not going to spoil how you ate your chicken bake. I regret not doing that with my chicken bake. Insanity. If they had let you do it, I would have been mad at them and yelled at you. Yup. I hope we took a picture of that bake when it was done.

We got video. There is exhibit A. Oh, God. Food court employees don't get an employee discount on food, but they do get executive memberships. What? Oh. Oh, so they, oh, they should get a free meal. They should get a free meal.

They should get a bake a day. You want them to have the trash leftovers? I mean, yeah. Or a slice a day. They should get one item a day. Give them whatever they want. It's like less than $8. It costs you nothing.

Everything on that menu. It costs you nothing. Well, that's not true. It doesn't cost them. It makes them nothing. Still. Costco Connection Magazine routinely lists its food court recipes and for things

to accompany food court items. I love Costco Connection Magazine. I read it cover to cover. You've got the- I believe that. I really do believe that. I really do. Any grocery store that gives you the fearless flyer

at Trader Joe's, we love all those sorts of things. And the Costco connection, it will have some little lifestyle things. It's very much like a AAA Westways magazine, which I also like to read, or an AARP magazine. It has some fun little things, but then they also do have recipes. Do you read AARP magazines?

I am a member of AARP. A lot of people don't know this, but you can join AARP after 18 years old. You are eligible to join. You do not need to wait until you're of retired age. And I get a discount on my cell phone carrier, Consumer Cellular, which a lot of people think is for old people. And it is, but it's also the cheapest cell phone carrier I've found. With an AARP discount, I am walking in

at a very affordable cell phone package. I see why you love Costco. It's all the pieces are coming together. I'm getting a full picture. I think in my soul, I'm like 64. Like at my age, my true age. You can get like a test for your biological age. Uh-huh. I'm very worn out.

And apparently that's the best indicator of like your life expectancy is like, where are you biologically? Should we do that? Spiritually, you're old. That's true. I recently got mail from a cemetery. And I'm not even kidding. I didn't open it for two months

because I was so mad that they thought it was time for me to die. And then I finally opened it. And luckily they were like, you're probably of the age where your parents are about to die. So have you thought about using us as your cemetery? And that made me feel a little better.

Can I run something by you and get your thoughts on it? When I went to the L.A. County Fair, they have like, you know, all the rides, they have the food, but then they have the convention spaces. And there was a forest lawn cemetery advertising, and they were selling a casket with a Dodgers logo on it. Would you want to be buried in anything indicative of your fandoms? Yeah, what brand would you want, Blazic Diet Coke?

Yeah, I was going to say, if my coffin looked like a can of Diet Coke, I'd be okay with that. A can? Yeah. Bury me with a Costco Connection magazine when I'm a happy gal. Just clutched in your arms. Clutching my free periodicals. Yeah, we love brands, why not? And just an engraving AARP since 18.

Exactly, yeah. The hot dog and soda combo is the most popular item on the menu by volume. CNN stated Costco sold over 135 million of those combos in 2017. I mean, that's a hot dog for how many people? Now give me one of those facts that we both hate. If you were to line those hot dogs up,

tip to tip, they would go from here to the moon 14 times. I don't have that measurement, but we do know it's a long hot dog. It is a very long hot dog. Is it a foot or is it? Maybe 15 times. 13 inches. It's a baker's dog. I think it's a baker? Maybe 15 times. 13 inches. It's a baker's dog?

I think it's a baker's dog, which is 13 inches. 13 inches. So from here to the moon, I think it would be like what? Like nine hot dogs end to end. What's the biggest dog you've ever seen? They're very long. Like a real dog? You know.

You mean like a Great Dane? A dachshund. Yeah, a dachxen is quite long. Sure, okay. You talking about Weenies? I was talking about Weenies. What's the biggest Weenie you've ever seen? Costco, right?

This is a family show, right? No? Oh, it's not? Give us the graphic details. Probably nine. Is it that guy who worked at Universal Studios? No, he had big balls. Oh, he's gonna get mixed up.

I always forget. I hope he doesn't listen. Not that I don't want you to not have a listener, but I mean, there's only... Can you send this to him? I've only been with so many people that worked at Universal. And he had a really fun part.

He was nice. No, we're not going to go into his job. We're not gonna... his job. He worked on the... His job. Nobody will hear it. Can you just give me his like name and address? Instagram handle. Instagram handle.

I just want to post it for... Yeah, let's tag him. I mean, this is a compliment. Big Balls has a job. This is great. Great for his resume. Everything a gay man's looking for. This is literally what I was hoping

this podcast would become. Big Balls. Big balls. Mission accomplished. We can get you there. Now, speaking of which, Costco is a frequent date spot for couples. Come on. One couple even got married in the food court. Oh, wow.

There's no way that marriage is still going. Let's look them up. Google them. They're so frugal, this couple, they have to be. There's no way. Shocking. And Costco is into it. They set up the chairs, created paper bouquets,

scattered rose petals. Okay, that's fun. That's a cute little viral moment for them. Says the woman who wants to be buried with her Costco connection. That's true. I think I just have the warm fuzzy feelings for Costco. In addition to the occasional menu change-up, whereas Costco is not immune from controversies. So we're gonna go through some controversies I have some warm fuzzy feelings for Costco. Yeah. In addition to the occasional menu change-up,

whereas Costco is not immune from controversies. Ooh. So I'm going to go through some controversies, and then we will move on. Their pork and veal suppliers have been found guilty of inhumane practices. Oh, that's no good. In 2014, The Guardian reported that Costco is a client of... I'm not even going to pretend to know how to pronounce that.

What you got? I don't know. That's not even an English letter. It's not. Churro and Pop-Fan Foods, over six months, The Guardian traced down a supply chain from slave ships in Asian waters to leading producers and retailers. Oh my God.

This is really taking a turn. Costco, you should know better. Costco has published a statement saying that it has a supplier code of conduct since 1999, which does not allow this practice and that independent auditors check for violations regularly. There you go. It took them until 1999 to say they didn't want slave food.

And 2014 to get caught. Good Lord. There have been reports of cannibalism and high mortality rates among chickens at one of their cage-free suppliers. Okay. I feel like this is for the Patreon. No. This is what I'm leading with. People pay for that.

Oh my god. Big balls and cannibal chickens. Good god. I'll take big balls any day. Big balls for 200? You want a big ball bake instead of a chicken bake? Yikes. Yikes. You might have been eating balls. I don't know what was in that. Okay. It didn't look like any chicken I've seen. You guys had nice normal food and I had that big log, that weird log. You ate an actual log.

Wait, so there wasn't bacon in it or there was? There was, it tasted like there was bacon in it. There was a lot going on inside there. There's too much in that. Hot Caesar dressing, whose idea was that? God, that's what made me hate it. I don't like hot condiments usually. I don't like hot condiments.

I don't like hot condiments. I don't like hot condiments. I don't like hot condiments. I don't lot going on inside there. There's too much in that. Hot Caesar dressing, whose idea was that? That's what made me hate it. I don't like hot condiments usually. I need to recover from hearing hot condiments. That's crazy. Oh, God. Tell us more about cannibalism and slavery.

In 2020s October. That's how you say that. That's right, year first and then- In 1020. Possessive and then the month. Yes. Costco dropped Chowko coconut milk over allegations of forced monkey labor. I have heard this. I have heard this. They make the monkey go up in the tree and they pick the coconut.

I mean, that doesn't seem like monkeys go up in trees. Coerced more than forced. Yeah, I'm sure the monkey got something out of it. I'm sure they got a banana. Also, it's what monkeys like to do. Yeah. Hmm. It is.

It is. That's what they said about slaves. That's true. They like to pick those coconuts, those monkeys. We pay them in bananas. So what do monkeys need money for? What do they need money for? Their pension.

How are they going to retire? Why do they need money? I don't know how I feel about that. It's illegal to not be paying the monkeys? In December 2020, you're getting hot. You look like you're sweating. I'm exasperating. We're getting very worked up about this.

You guys had too much coffee. I think so. I didn't have any. In December 2020, Costco vowed to stop using eggs from caged chickens at all its locations globally, becoming the first U.S. retailer to issue a global policy on the confinement of animals in its supply chain. That's good. That's a good one. I had to, you know, and then those chickens started eating each other. And in June 2023, a worker at a South Korea warehouse died of heat stroke

while on the job. South Korean government guidelines state that outdoor workers be given a 10 to 15 minute break every hour during heat wave advisories. However, these guidelines were not strictly followed or enforced at the Costco store where he worked, and he was given 15 minute breaks every three hours without a regular supply of drinking water. Aw, geez Louise. We know their water bottles are cheap. They're only 25 cents inside Costco. You can get an ice cold bottle of water for 25 cents. But the food court employees won't even get $1.50 hot dog. I can't believe it. You can't spare it. This place needs some help. They treat the customers very well.

Yeah, that's all that matters. Apparently it is a good place to work in terms of like benefits. Yes. And stuff like that. But anyways, that'll do it for this week's Eat Deets. All right, so we've covered the Eat Deets, we've learned the history. We're so close to being able to give our review of the Costco Food Court.

But before we hear what we have to say, let's go to Yelp and see what other people are saying about this Costco location, the food court specifically, in this week's Yelp from Strangers. A little yelp, a little yelp. Give us those complaints while you literally white and die. Yelp! Alright, this is Yelp from Strangers, our segment where we go to Yelp and read out our favorite 1, 2, 3, 4, and

5 star reviews of the very restaurant at which we dined at. 5 star review. So this is a 5 star review written over 9 years ago. This was the first review of the Costco food court. Wow. This is from Shell H.

This is one of my favorite Costco food courts. Why you wonder would I like this over each and every other identical food court you ask? Well, it's rather obvious. They have some special things going on here. The food items are the same. We all know the standard deals that make Costco such a great lunch option.

They have them here as well. The same tasty quality also exists. So then why, you ask, is this a better food court here than Nelson? Like, get to it, dude. Get to it. No, Shell's having her moment. He's really milking the fact that he's the first to review.

Like, oh, you want me to say something? You're going to have to keep reading. First, they have the food court window outside so anyone can go to the food court without having to enter the building and bully their way past the annoying show me your membership card, dude. Was this you who wrote this, John?

Are you Shell? Listen. Listen. Uh, second, they have chip ice in the machines here. I happen to love that easily crushed chewable ice, and it makes me super happy that they have it here. It is not always easy to find, but I was stoked to find it here to say the least. Third, the setup of tables, drink machines, and ordering windows is set up over a slightly

larger area, making it much more convenient for the average Joe to do what they need to do before or after shopping at Costco. If they even plan on shopping, much easier to me. Consequently, this Costco food court is everything you know and love about a Costco food court, but with a couple of awesome bonuses. Penis emoji. Shell, shell, Shell. Shell. Is that an eggplant?

Is that not it? It's a happy face. That's eyes and a big happy face. Did you really think that was a penis? That's why I picked this one. I thought he just signed it off with a dick. You thought after all that, Shell was like, dick. You made it this far, dick.

Well, I know that that was written nine years ago. I hope it's okay that you don't, I hope you don't mind that I took the liberty, but I actually invited Shell to be here with us today. Shell, come on in. I'm going Shell's not living anymore for some reason. I don't know why I feel that. Can we put like glasses on you

and you do some broad character work? Shell is on a journey. I feel like Shell's friends are sick of hearing shell talk about how much shell loves Costco I gotta say I appreciate someone that knows what kind of ice they like ice still that Cried ice or do you had a soda right? I got water and I didn't okay you didn't My thing up to the ice thing and nothing came out Wow Not gonna like that. Shell's not putting a dick for that.

Update a review one star. Two star review. All right, I have a two star review. So this is from just initial CB. I assume that stands for Cockboy. And how do I know how long it's been? Oh, over five years ago. Over five years ago.

CB gives it a two star review. I also find it interesting. They have one friend on Yelp. Oh, is that what that means? What's that 115 mean? They've written 115 Yelp reviews and they've uploaded zero photos. Good Lord, I've written like four

and they're all only when I'm really mad. All right, five years ago, two-star review from CB. Was really in the mood for a slice of pizza and vanilla yogurt. And then in parentheses, I loved the swirl, but they got rid of it in favor of that Aussie crap. Is that how you say that? Aussie crap.

Aussie sounds like Australian. Aussie. This guy's really anti down under. Get there, wait in line the ungodly amount of time Sounds like Australian. I'll see. This guy's really anti down under. Get there. Wait in line the ungodly amount of time because they're so slow. Order my pizza and yogurt. The girl takes her time to help me while I'm waiting.

The person next to me orders vanilla yogurt and gets it. I'm told they're all out of vanilla yogurt. Perhaps help your customers in the order in which they place the order. The girl working there was condescending to, like, how am I supposed to know? Maybe by not being stupid? I don't know. This sounds like YouTube who left this review.

You really, you channeled her anger. I have those reviews of like a very John review. Listen, it's not my review, but I understand their plight. If the person behind me got the thing that I ordered, yeah, I'm going to be mad. That was the whole review, by the way. And yeah, you're racing to Yelp to complain about it, for sure.

Your voice deserves to be heard. I want people to understand. And then when they call security on you, you're just going to be hands on the wheel and ignore them. Just don't look. Just pretend. Leave your body. Yes. You can go download our full Yelp from Strangers segment at our Patreon. The link for that is in the description of this episode, or you can go to patreon.com slash fine dining podcast. And we're now offering a one week free trial. So what do you have to lose? Go check it out.

People have wild opinions and we get to read oh so many of them. Thanks. All right, well that does it for Yelp from Strangers and Eat Deets and the history of the restaurant. Thank you guys so much for joining me this week. Thank you so much for having us. This has been a lot of fun. Can I ask you a question?

Will you come back in one week's time wear exactly what you're wearing right now and talk to me about what it was like to eat at Costco? I would say yes, I'm actually, I am planning on selling this shirt tomorrow. But for you, I will buy another one that looks just like it, and yes, I will be back. Perfect.

Awesome, well, John, Marissa, do you guys have anything that you want to plug for the listeners? I assume you do. If you've been enchanted by our performances today. Perform, you're performing? Yeah, I assume you do. If you've been enchanted by our performances today. Perform? You're performing? Yeah, I'm in full character. John is raw.

I'm a raw dog in it. I got 13 Costco dogs in my mouth. Please feel free to check out On Brand with John and Marissa, a podcast. You can get it wherever you get your podcasts, and you can check us out on Instagram, at On Brand the Pod. Every episode is about an iconic brand.

You can scroll through them. You'll probably find a brand that you like and wanna learn more about, and we hope you'll check us out. Perfect, and you can follow me on social media, Instagram and TikTok, at Fine Dining Podcast. Check out my Patreon, patreon.com slash Fine Dining Podcast. Go to my website, finediningpodcast.com.

Write me an email, finediningpodcast.gmail.com. Tell me podcast. Go to my website, fine dining podcast.com. Write me an email, fine dining podcast at gmail.com. Tell me whatever, call me stupid, say my hair looks bad. I don't care, just talk to me. But yeah, that'll do it. We're just gonna spend a week waiting on our table. But in the meantime, have a fine day. ["Fine Day"]

["Waiting on a Table"] We're so hungry Tommy's grumbling Waiting on the table, waiting on the table We gotta continue our search for mediocrity Yeah Waiting on the table, waiting on the table We'll be waiting and dissipating Waiting on the table, waiting on our table We're swimming in this week, we're digging in We're waiting on our table, waiting on our table We've got an appetite, but just sit tight

We're waiting on our table, waiting on our table Search will continue when we see you next week He-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he Sweet! Hee hee hee! Brother, no matter what Waiting on our table, waiting on our table Waiting on our table, waiting on our table Waiting on our table, waiting on our table Waiting on our table, waiting on our table