Fine Dining - Denny's, Pizza Hut, Olive Garden, Gyu-Kaku, & Bubba Gump Shrimp Company Get Yelped

Episode Date: December 17, 2025

🗣️⭐🍽️ Yelp From Strangers: Denny's, Pizza Hut, Olive Garden, Gyu-Kaku & Bubba Gump 🍽️⭐🗣️ This week, VyVy Nguyen (@cest_la_vyvy) joins me for a pure Yelp chaos episode as the Bridge Season barrels toward its finale. No history, no food review, just unfiltered opinions from the internet's most confident critics. From late-night diners to shrimp shrines, this first of a two-part Yelp special proves once again that the most unhinged storytelling lives in the review section. 🥞 A Denny's Customer Furious About Being Mistaken for Homeless Flaunts His iPhone 🍕 Pizza Hut Favoritism Allegations That Will Not Be Forgotten 🍝 Olive Garden and the Unavoidable Consequences to One's Digestive Tract 🔥 A Deeply Uncomfortable and Kind-of Racist Gyu-Kaku Review 🦐 Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. Through the Eyes of a True Shrimp Evangelist 😡 Entitlement, Pettiness, and Selective Outrage Across Multiple Chains 📉 The Internet Continues to Be the Worst (and Best) Place on Earth 💬 COMMENT BELOW: Which chain has the wildest Yelp reviews in your experience? 📢 SUPPORT THE SHOW & JOIN THE COMMUNITY: 🎉 Patreon (Bonus episodes, extended Yelp chaos & more): patreon.com/finediningpodcast 💬 Discord (Food talk, memes, cursed Yelp): discord.gg/6a2YqrtWV4 🎥 Watch full episodes: youtube.com/@finediningpodcast 🔗 All links: linktree.com/finediningpodcast 🎤 Guest: VyVy Nguyen | IG: @cest_la_vyvy Patreon Producers: Sue Ornelas & Joyce Van Patreon Subscribers: David Ornelas, Kellie Baldwin, Jeremy Horwitz, Herbert Amaya, Simone Davalos, Scott Bennett, Amy Reinhart, Josef Castaneda-Liles, & Travis Langley Free Patreon Followers: Joe Warszalek, Lauren Cummings, Grace Krainak, Keri Estes, Robert Duran, Patrick Elliott, Michelle Elmer, Dave Plummer, Nicholas Volney, Michael Gerard, Tracy Molino, Phuong Duong, Tyler Robinson, Brandon Gully, Mason Cruz, Michael Milito, Mez, Aaron Hubbard, Steff, & Robert McLaughlin 👉 NEXT WEEK: Yelp From Strangers Part 2 as the Bridge Season comes to a close with even more reviews, more grievances, and absolutely no self-awareness as VyVy Nguyen is back to chat about Rainforest Cafe, Bob's Big Boy, Waffle House, Pappadeaux, & Chuy's.

Yelp. It's a site that platforms the disgruntled, the easily impressed, and those who swoon for a server with a nice smile just asking a quick favor. It's a place where the word elite means the least. If you've ever wanted to shout your restaurant opinions into the void because you feel like that's enough to call yourself a food reviewer, congratulations, we're the same. Today, we enter the void to handpick some of the wildest takes about the restaurants I visited back in season one of the podcast. This is the Fine Dining, and it's about time we got a little Yelp from strangers. We need a little Yelp, A little Yelp from strangers. A one star, two star, three star, four or five, I. So get a little yelp, a little yelp, strangers. A little yelp, a little yelp. Give us those complaints while you literally. Hello and welcome to the Fine Dining Podcast.

I'm your host, Michael Ornellis. This week and next week, we finish crossing the bridge between seasons three and four. I want to give you a special two-part episode of the true gift that keeps on giving people's wild-ass opinions on Yelp. Some people think they're funny, others are tone-deaf, but they all share one thing, a love-slash disdain for chain restaurants. We're going to jump into their reviews, but before we do that, I have to introduce my guest for this episode, my resident co-host for this bridge season. She's a podcast favorite despite being my sworn enemy, and she's like, like if a Pinocchio-esque four-star Yelp review wished to be a real boy, it's Vivi Nguyen. What?

Pinocchio-esque. Well, like, you would have to be Pinocchio-esque to wish yourself a real boy, so. Why can't I wish myself a real girl? You can. Oh, okay. Sure. You know, I'm not here to tell you what to be. Or what if I wanted to be a real whale.

I want to be monstro. You could. from Pinocchio? You want to eat the Pinocchio's of the world. Dang, you're savage. This is why you're my sworn enemy. I didn't even know we were sworn enemy. I don't think we are.

I'm just looking to spice up the intro a little. I can play that character if you want. Haven't you? Oh, it begins. Thanks for coming back. I've lost count at this point. Me too. I don't know.

Fifth or sixth like full episode or something. Your listeners are sick of me. Yeah. Me too. We're just desperate. I was available. No desperation. None, none at all.

Do you have a history with Yelp? Like, do you? I love Yelp. Do you? I love to go on Yelp before going to any restaurant. And I especially parking in L.A. is a very big thing. So I put parking in the search bar to see what the parking situation is because that's a huge part of being an Angelino. I also use spicy a lot as a search term.

to be like, oh, this dish was very spicy. And I'm like, oh, okay, that's what I want. Interesting. Yeah. Yeah. I have my own little search hacks that I do, but it's because I'm trying to pick entertaining Yelp reviews for the podcast. Of course.

So they have nothing to do with the quality of the restaurant. I'm looking for words like fight. Or I looked up traumatized yesterday. Oh, no. And found one. Are we reading that? No. Oh.

The rest, it was fine. A kid stole rocks from Rainforest Cafe in the security guard. was like, what are you doing? And he cried. Like, that was it. Oh, well, I guess they should have been. They're just rocks. I don't know. They were like, they were out of like the fake guerrilla enclosure. There's actually like animatronic elements to it. Censors that set off the animals. That we don't know. Yeah. But it traumatized him. Oh, that's a shame. Yeah. And I feel like I don't use Yelp that much. I glance at the Yelp score. Okay. When I'm going to a place. And I do think that there's a certain dispersion of ratings that like if if it looks,

It looks like that. Oh, you're looking at the curve. Yeah, like if it's like five is the most and then four is the second most, that's such a good sign. Definitely. Usually it's five is the most and then one is the second most because the things that inspire people to write reviews are extreme events, extreme good or extreme bad. Sure. So a place that has five, then four, then three. If three is the third most to four's second most, you're going to a good place.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you heard of the theory about like Asian restaurants where you don't want them to have like a mom and pop Asian restaurant? You want them to have like a solid three because the service isn't going to be great but the food's going to be amazing. And that's really the sweet spot. That's where it is. Apparently that's the theory. Okay.

I'll keep an eye out and eat all those. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, my favorite Chinese food place. It's very like Americanized Chinese food. But Frontier Walk in Burbank is just a place where it's like, look, they know me. They know what I want. Sure. But are you ready to find out the ratings of where we're going to do Denny's Pizza Hut,

Olive Garden, Gukaku, and Bubba Gump shrimp today? Wow. All places I went during the first 10 episodes of the podcast that I never did Yelp segments for. Oh, what a throwback. So I'm so excited to dive into these places that like I've been to. Yeah. And find these reviews. So do you want to get us started with the first one?

As your enemy, I refuse. All right. We're just going to sit here. Yeah. It's going to be lots of silence, guys. Buckle in. One star review. This is a one star review from Bimal D for Pizza Hut.

Sorry if I but you're your name. I'm so sorry. Desert Hot Springs, California, February 5th, 2019. Lady at the Register was very, very, very rude and was in some kind of hurry to take the order and was brushing off everybody. Anyway, we ordered and sat to wait for our order. And here we go. We found why was she rushing everyone? Her friend was there. Duh, all caps. I saw on the line after four customers. There was a guy with other two old people. They got the most time and most attention. She gave three big cups of soda and typed most of the things by herself. Lastly, I saw he gave his card, but looks like his card was not charged. Or charged very less because his jaw dropped and the girl winked and gave a high five. I love that.

She winked and gave a high five. This is the true villain here. As though that's like such a scandal. Yeah. Look, I'm going to be honest, when they say like it's all about who you know, that does kind of extend to like when your friends work at restaurants. For sure. I don't think there's anything wrong with this.

Yeah, giving your friends some free drinks. Come on. She needs to learn how to treat all equally. Me and my wife don't go to this location now. this this is Pizza Hut non grata in our family. So they're giving one star just because they didn't get free stuff because they didn't know the cashier. And by the way, like they said they were rushing through everyone to get to their friends. Rushing through is not the worst service.

Yeah, sorry they were going to get to you sooner eventually. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I think it's totally fine. I would hook friends up if they came to my restaurant or whatever. Definitely. Especially if it's like a chain. Yeah, I used to work at Disneyland in the food department. And, you know, when my friends and family came, I would give them a little bit more of a helping of whatever pasta, you know, that's what you do.

Yeah. They came to see you. Did they? No, probably not. I mean, they came for the discount and for extra portions. Yeah, but it's who you know. And that's okay. Yeah.

That's just how life works, unfortunately, or fortunately. If you want to be treated this way, just become friends with them. Exactly. Yeah. Be like, oh, hey, I noticed you here last time. You had like a Batman pin. So I got you this autographed Christopher Nolan copy of the Dark Night Rises. All for free soda.

And not the Dark Night. The Dark Night Rises. Probably an easier find. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Probably a little cheaper. To obtain. But still a nice gift.

Still a nice gift. For someone you met once? It's not the Dark Night autograph. Of course. Five star review. Next up, we have a five star review for Olive Garden, which I made a musical about. This is from Chad Kay from Beverly Hills, California, written July 25th, 2012. Operated and maintained by the venerable manager Paul Sass, whose name is etched in fine faux stone on the front door.

This Olive Garden is the closest to my house. house, which is fucking pathetic. Can L.A. please get an OG again so I don't have to drive to fucking Burbank? Are we calling it OG? He's calling it OG. Yeah. With what always appears to be a carefully calculated mix of Valley Denizens, fat guy wearing a braided leather belt and Bluetooth earpiece, family with 10 kids, guy wearing his

affliction baseball cap at a 45 degree angle in his fake-titted girlfriend, etc. Mr. Sasse's OG experience will not disappoint. Who's Mr. Sass in this situation? Because I think it's the reviewer. I did click the profile of this guy because of just how well-written this review is. Venerable. This is Chad Coulchin who hosted the Doodzie podcast with Will Sassow. Oh, okay.

It was one of my favorite podcasts for a while. Wow. And I literally found his Yelp review of Olive Garden. It was like... It was an accident. Yeah. I had already picked it. And I was like, wait, Chad Kaye.

And his picture looks kind of familiar. And I clicked. And he hasn't written a review since 2015 or 2020 or something. It's been a while. Yeah. But like he goes in on places. And also, this is a five-star review. Yeah.

It doesn't feel like one, but okay. My routine, order salad and breadsticks with no onions. Pick the onions off the salad after they bring it out, having completely ignored my request. Eat the salad. Get another one, but don't even bother asking for no onions. Order chicken parmesan. Eat the chicken parmesan. Side note, I call chicken parmesan the old 50-50.

I have a mild allergy to tomatoes. So 50% of the time I can eat this tasty dish and be fine. The other 50%? my asshole turns into an unbridled shit volcano in under 15 minutes. Oh, I didn't need to know that. But you do now. Back to the routine. So after eating the CP slash the old 50-50, I then get in my car and start the long drive

back over the hill to civilization. If I can get to the freeway without feeling the initial protests of my intestines for having eaten the CP, then I know I'll be fine that night. Oh, I don't know if you should be calling it CP. Probably ill advice. Parmesan. Yeah. Or the 50-50. I got lots of names for it. Yeah. If, however, I get to the freeway and already have to ship my pants, I know I've got another 20 to 45 minutes, depending on traffic, to fight my butthole with all of my strength in order to avoid ruining the fine leather seats in my

2011 Prius with rims and a sunroof, FYI. Oh, wow. We needed to know that. The fight always leaves me exhausted, but I haven't lost one yet, and it's always worth it. That's a five-star review. To, I think to detail the physical toll that you go through and yet you call it worth it. Yeah. That's an endorsement. That's true, that he will risk it for the OG. He also included one picture, the name Paul Sass etched in stone right outside the building.

He loves Paul Sass. He loves Paul Sass. I mean, I like his name a lot. Yeah. Oh, man. I loved this review. It's very well written, I will say, and the imagery is very clear. I don't want to know that much about his bowel movements. I find it relatable. Do you? I mean, yeah, I'm lactose intolerant. I have Crohn's disease. Yeah, yeah. My life revolves around fighting my butthole. I get it. Yeah. I love ice cream so much, but sometimes it's like if I have just a little bit too much, I'm like, oh, and I should just take lactate or something. I'm always lazy.

So I do play the roulette as well. And I'm like, hmm, am I going to be a little sick after this? But sometimes Coldstone's worth it too. Yeah, ice cream, man. Two-star review. This is a two-star review for Gukaku by Janet S from Pasadena, California. Lassai. I love me some good happy hour.

However, I was so super disappointed in the service. I fear I have to knock off a couple of stars. Seriously, where's Eugene? Homeboy hooked it up. We're all about hooking it up. So they're used to having their friend Eugene. Yes. Eugene also spelled E-U-G-I-N-E.

Unless. They made a typo. Maybe. But I was like, oh, that's a cool name as well. Eugine. Since the BF's on spring break, we decided to do a little weekday indulgence, i.e. drink every day of this week. Is she dating a high schooler? I mean, you can be on spring break in college.

I know. Okay. I haven't been back to GUE in a while. and have been craving some good happy hour prices and yummy food. We got there around 8.30. Happy hour starts at 9 and sat at the bar where drinks and apps are still cheap. $8 pitcher and less than $5 for apps. I love that the breakdowns here.

At 9, the server calls us to the table. 15 minutes later, 15 minns later, sorry. A semi-I just wanted to- My listeners were like, they didn't say minutes. Yeah, yeah. Please correct this. Please say 15 minns. 15 minutes later, a semi-apologetic waitress comes and takes our order.

30 minutes later, my stomach is grumbling. The picture we had originally ordered at the bar is empty, and I'm not a happy camper. Things I like about the BF. Oh, now she's just talking about the BF. Okay. It's a very- It's a review of him, too. I mean, I guess she's saying the nice things about it.

I do love it. There's a vibe in a Yelp review where it's like, and only women write them. Well, no. I think men write them too. Should we generalize? No, no, no. But like, when they're like, hubby got this or whatever. Like if you search hubby and read the reviews, it's a certain tone that is only in those.

I guess sometimes you'll see like wifey or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a little less common. That's probably the equivalent. But I see like what hubby got often scrolling. I've never heard hubs. Oh, okay. You're making it up right.

I'm not. I feel like I've heard it. No, you haven't. You cite two examples of it. I bet you if you want to Yelp right now, you'd find hubs somewhere, somewhere. I don't believe it. Anyway, things I like about the BF. He's very, very patient.

Me, not so much. I understand, even though it's a Tuesday night, it's really busy in here. What I do not understand is why in the hell the table full of hipsters next to us who sat down after us has their food while we wait for our stove to burn up foodless. What? Because you self-cook at Gukkah. Oh, that's right. I'm so, I was not in the right mindset. We've got all over the place with these restaurants.

Waitress turned it on after she took our order. 30 minutes ago, question mark, exclamation mark, question mark, exclamation mark, question mark, question mark, question mark, question mark. To some of the night, 100% hunger, 80% of me complaining that our server sucks shit. Already we're at 180%. Well, is she? Oh, yeah, there's a lot of percentages here. Okay. This doesn't add up to anything cohesive.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 80% of me complaining that our servers suck shit. 99.5% of waiting for our food. 10% of me trying to flag someone down to get utensils, sauce plates, tongs, et cetera. 0.05%. Oh, you've got it. Wow, you've memorized this review.

I have it in front of you. Oh, you're reading. Oh, I thought you were just listening to me. I am. But you've got it on the teleprompter, which he's instructed me not to look at, by the way. So I didn't know he had it on this screen. Okay, don't sell me out.

This is why you're my enemy. Yes, forever. Anyway, wow. Okay, so. I do want to do the math of what this adds up to. 180 plus 99.5 plus 10 plus 0.05. So it's 190, 289.55. Yeah, she didn't even try making it add up.

It's 289.55. That's how we do. That's how much of a night she had. 0.05% apologetic waitress, literally at the end when she gave us our check, i.e. when she's asking for a nice tip, which was when I was in the bathroom. own BTW since she was trying to be nice to the BF since I gave her the death stare the whole night. Ahem, the 0.05% of the time she was there. Total, whoa, how many? One million. One million percent upset. This is the angriest anyone has ever been. But she's actually not using as many exclamation marks as I know, but a million percent upset. And yet two stars, not one star.

I realize at this point I'm rambling. But if you take away anything from this post, it's that the service sucks shit. Everything sucks shit. She likes that phrase. Food is still good if you ever get it anyway. I mean, seriously, you cook it yourself. How long is pre-made slash cut meat supposed to take to get to our table from the fridge in the kitchen? You know what? As much as I don't love her vibe, I do agree with that point. Yeah, that does make sense. Yeah. And still cheap for happy hour. I'd still come back. I know. WTF. You gave a skating review. Yeah, she's like, I'm still. I mean, the food, It sounds like the happy hour is pretty reasonable. Good.

So I'd still come back. I know. WTF, you gave a scathing review, but I love my happy hour. There you go. However, many ours, if it's the same waitress, cute, petite, Asian, I know, that doesn't help at all. I'm running to King Taco or something. Wow, she just describes the waitress. Yeah.

Although she called her cute. Yeah. That's kind of nice. Yeah. She didn't have to include that. That, I mean, she's just like begrudgingly. Yeah, yeah, she's cute. She's a cute person.

All the other waitresses are ugly, so she had to clarify. Well, no, they're all cute because she says it doesn't narrow it down. Cute petite Asian doesn't narrow down. Okay, maybe, yeah. She's just saying all Gukaku servers seem to be a certain type. Me. No, I'm just kidding. One star review.

All right, this is a one star review for Denny's. This one from Jason F. Why are you being so dramatic? From Long Beach, California. Okay. April 23rd, 2019. It was like an ASMR video now. Worst service I have ever had anywhere.

Stopped in for a late meal. The waitress was rude. Barely spoke English. Oh, no. Once she dropped my food off, she never came back to check on me. I wanted more coffee. Never got it. Wanted a water.

Never got it. I was exhausted. And I think I fell asleep for a minute. Oh, my gosh. She started yelling at me. Oh, wow. Called me homeless and said she didn't want my kind at her tables. Oh, no.

I'm a manager. Wait, I thought she didn't speak English. You know? Now she's saying, I don't want your kind here. I'm a manager in a European-based restaurant. I don't know what that sentence means, but I love it. Yeah. I worked from open to close yesterday.

I have four college degrees and speak eight languages. Dang. I have never been treated or talked. Talk to the way your waitress talked to me tonight. When I grabbed my brand new iPhone X and stood up to leave, she smirked and said, You can leave a tip since you got a fancy phone. I am floored that Denny's a family restaurant would employ such a person. She is rude, crass, and has no class.

Ooh, right. I hope this review gets someone's attention. You can't employ people like that. You will lose good customers. And what is with having the AC cranked up on high? It's colder in the restaurant than it is outside at night. Pathetic. The managers don't care.

The servers don't care. What happened to Denny's? Oh, wow. What a buildup that was in volume. Good job. I've been sitting with these reviews and I want to give them the gravitas that they deserve. That was beautiful. That was quite the performance.

I don't know whose side I'm on here. I know. I kind of at first felt a little bad for him, but the way he kept dropping all these qualifications. Yeah, and these facts about who he is as a person as if you're so great. Like the right take on this is even if I were homeless, you shouldn't treat somebody that way. Of course, yeah. That's the way you should talk about it. Yeah, yeah.

I'm here are all the ways that I'm not homeless. Yes. Which, by the way, he never said he had a home. And all of the things he bragged about, he never said, I'm a homeowner. Yeah. That's why he's upset because she profiled him and was correct. You have an iPhone X. That's where all my money went.

And that's where all my money went. And I'm sad about it. I'm sad now. But, yeah, that Denny's location does have a lot of unhoused people that kind of frequent the area. I know when I went for the show, it was like a midnight or 1 a.m. Denny's meal. And there was a lot of unhoused activity outside and even some people sitting in the restaurant as well. So like it is, it is, it comes with the territory of that location of Denny's. I gotcha.

So. But he was ordering food and stuff. Yeah. But he wanted refills. It's not like he was dining and dashing. No. He just fell asleep for a little bit. And wanted what coffee and water refills and all that?

What time? Did you say what time this happened at? Uh, maybe, but I kind of went into like a few states to channel him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you were just in the character. Yeah, you knew him well. That's cool. Thank you. One star review.

This is another one star review from Luca D for Denny's from Los Angeles. Oh, this is one review. April 12th, 2025. They bribed me with mozzarella sticks to leave a good review on Yelp. Gave it one star. In retrospect, it's like getting bribed with a kick to the teeth, the most unappetizing food ever. P.S., the employees were attentive and satisfactory. Then why are you giving it one star?

Yeah, that wasn't necessary. They offered me free food and I don't take bribes. Yeah, he's just so upstanding that he's like, forget it. Bribery gets one star. I mean, I do respect the integrity behind that. I guess, but still, it's not one star worthy if they were attentive. If someone brought me mozzarella sticks, I'd be mad. From Denny's?

Well, I just don't like cheese. Oh, yeah, I don't either. But I mean... Are you about to say you don't either, but you like mozzarella stick? No, no, I'm just trying to think that maybe there was the option of, like, to pick any of the appetizers so that we get a good review. Yeah. And he just chose poorly. Yeah, bring me moons over my hammy.

Then you give them five stars? And I'll give you four. Yeah. I think that's what Denny's deserves. No, I agree. Yeah. But four's nice. Yeah.

And it's like best case. Yeah, everything is running smoothly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Two star review. All right. Next up, I have a two star review for Bubba Gump. Bubba Gump. This is from Alex O from Encino, California, written July 10th, 2023.

I just took my lady here expecting some good fucking food and this shit came out tasting like hot ass. My mom can cook better salmon than this. Fuck, Forrest, fuck, Jenny. R.I.P. Bubba Gump, he didn't deserve to die over this weak-ass food. That's a lot of cursing. It was a movie.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Michael D. Williamson is not dead. Yeah, that was an upset person. But I do feel like that is kind of the review of Denny's. My mom can make better food than this. I think is applicable of any mom and any day.

Yeah. Totally. I would not come into a Denny's going, this mood's definitely going to be better than moms. This is going to hit the spot. Yeah. Yeah. Like Denny's is where you go to like...

Die. Not kidding. Yeah. You know how like dogs like to like hide when they're like, they know they're dying and they like, you know, they go into a closet or under a bed or like they leave home and... It's got really dark.

All dogs go to Denny's. Oh. Make that movie. They just know. There's something about the vibe. It's like this feels like the right place to die. Four star review. This is a four star review for Bubba Gump by Rob K.

Los Angeles, California. August 10th, 2010. I love shrimp. Period. I could end the review there, but that wouldn't help. I mean, honestly? Yeah.

It kind of would. It really ties in with the movie. You left a four-star review that said, I love shrimp, period. I'd be like, well. This place has shrimp, and it's good. Four stars. I'll do this a little differently, but starting with the cons. The thing that bothered me about coming to this particular Bubba Gump's in Santa Monica

is that it's located right on the Santa Monica Pier. Actually, it's the first building on your right when you get on the pier coming from Ocean Avenue. On a summer weekend, you have to wait at least an hour to be seated. The good thing about that is that you're on the pier, and there are plenty of things to do while you wait. the roller coaster, the Ferris wheel, arcade. Once inside and seated, though, the smells are mouth-watering and will drive you insane if you're starving. But the servers were right there. Driven to insanity.

Yeah, yeah, you're crazy. But the servers were right there, ready with the menus, specials, and even suggestions on what you might like. They even have two license plate signs on the table that say, run, Forrest, run, and stop, Boris, stop. This is to signal or let the server know whether or not you need their assistance. By the way, I love that part of Bubba God. I do think it's a very charming. Because it's like Brazilian steakhouses. Yeah, yeah.

They have like the green or red thing that you put up. And it's like, I want more food right now or I don't. And that hasn't really been adopted by a lot of American restaurants. And I think it would, honestly, it would improve service because waiters could just be. You just get this visual cue up. They need me. They don't need me. Yeah.

So it's like, I don't need to check on you. I do need to check. But also you have to explain it to people, which not all restaurants would do. And so someone who has the stop one up might be like, why isn't anyone helping me? Sure. Yeah, you know, you kind of have to give the explanation every time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or you could be like, you've been here before?

You know what it works? Cool. Right, right, right. Yeah. Yeah. But I think it's a really a genuinely good process than more places should use. Yeah. This is to signal or let the server know whether or not you need their assistance at the moment.

last time I was there, I had the shrimp and fish hush puppies to start. And the three quarter, three quarter? What, you did three fourth? Three fourth pound. Three fourth? Okay. Okay. I'll just go back.

No, no, no. We're going to stammer through. I just didn't know what he was going. The three fourth, three fourth pound bucket of peel and eat shrimp. The shrimp were nice and big. Pause. He literally put pause in parentheses. Can you read it again, but just give a dramatic pause instead of reading?

I just want to hear what that's like. I want to see the effect he's going for. Okay. But do you want me to go back from the beginning of that paragraph? No, no, no. Just the sentence. The shrimp were nice and big. Pause.

Don't say pause. Oh, don't say pause? Do pause. He wrote pause. I want to include it to like, again, just like show what they wrote. No? I just want to hear it with a pause. Okay, so I'm just going to read it and then move on.

I'm leaving all this in, by the way. Enemies. He wants me to look bad. Okay. The shrimp were nice and big. The seasonings were perfect. And you might think shrimp can't fill you up, but I felt like I needed to be wheeled out of there. Can I just say? I don't think the pause was necessary.

I think he put it in a weird spot that added nothing to the effect. Now that I've heard it, didn't need it. That was completely unnecessary. Yeah. Well, it was kind of fun though. You tried. Yeah. And right before we was going to throw in the towel, we was. the server came over to the table to check on us

and ask us for scump trivia questions. I surprisingly got five out of five and hooked us up with a free dessert. Oh, that's nice. Do you get free dessert for getting all the trivia? Yeah. Oh, I think so. Wow.

I got them all when I went. And it's all just based on the movie? Yeah. Oh, so I need to watch the movie again before I eat there. If you want to do well at the trivia. Yeah, yeah, I want a free dessert. I love free dessert.

I hadn't watched it recently when I went and like, they're not that hard of questions. I just have a bad memory. So I would be really upset if I got, you know, four out of five and missed out on. Like what war was Forrest Gumpin? Yeah. Your emotional personal. Yeah.

I'm going to go have like a traumatized. No, I mean, my family was involved in it. It's crazy. Yeah. I did just realize like maybe I don't need to bring up the Vietnamese war with you. We call it the American War. That contextually makes sense. Yeah.

Yeah. If you all called it Vietnam, it's just like, well, That's just. Our country. That's just. Yeah. Okay. Worth the weight, worth the time, worth the fish breath.

Peace, food, and love. Okay. Yeah. He had a nice time. I think it was a pretty, like, it gives you a good explanation of what you're expecting when you go to this place. Yeah. And he loves it. Yeah.

And I love it when people are kind of passionate and just kind of have a unique flavor to the way they write. Yeah. Although now I'm wondering why I didn't get. give it five. Maybe because of the weight, the one hour wait. But he said like, let's start with the cons and then immediately it's like, and it's fun to ride the Ferris wheel and the roller coaster and stuff. You've got all these things to do, but I guess they're not related to Bubba Gump. Right. So maybe that's first. But to me, Bubba Gump on the Santa Monica Pier specifically is kind of like an impulse thing.

Yeah, I don't think anyone, well, except for you. I'm the only person who has ever sought out the Bubba Gump. Yeah. Yeah. Honestly, revisiting all of these Yelp reviews, I want to go back. Like, I haven't been to Bubba Gump since I did the podcast. And it was a good meal. What year was that?

22. Wow. Yeah. So, long time. One star review. All right. This is a one star review for Pizza Hut from Khalid A from Los Angeles, California, March 17, 2023. Employees don't use gloves here.

When I asked them why their response was they don't have to. They make their pizzas with their bare hands. Bear hands was one word. Oh, okay. Not like a bear like an animal. No, no. That was the whole review. Oh.

I love the I love we don't have to. Someone actually said that to. When I asked them why they said, we don't wear gloves because we don't have to. You can't make us. You're not the boss of me. Like that's straight up like six year old. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not my mom.

You're not the boss of me. Yeah. I do think they have to. I think so, too. I feel like that's how food prep is in general. Like, I think legally you have, like, I don't think it's like a felony, but like food tampering is a felony. Oh, like if you intentionally do it. Of course.

And like I think there is like a negligence step somewhere in there that's probably a misdemeanor. We're getting to the levels of crime. I want to know. we don't have to that also that feels like and I think you should leave sketch yeah I can see that

Hey you're not using gloves I don't have to show me in the laws it would be crazy though if that actually was in their rule book you do not have to wear gloves and if a customer says you do you tell them you don't have to

you tell them page 14 of the employee handbook at Pizza Hutches I don't have to wear gloves loves when prepping pizzas. Three star review. This is a three star review for Olive Garden from Charlene S. El Serrano, Los Angeles, California, September 8th, 2024. I can't shit thanks to the breadsticks and cheese. Poetry.

We're having a lot of poop talk today. Food and service was good. Shout out the homie Peter. He's a real one. Good job, Peter. Oh, man. She can't shit. Nope.

And it's all of Garden's fault. She's clogged. She's plugged. Oh. I mean, are we sure it was Olive Garden? What else did she eat? Yeah. Earlier that day.

Show me in your bylaws. What else do you ate? I bet she has a food journal. Oh. Charlene seems like she would have a food journal. Not with how succinct this review was. I feel like if you have a food journal, you're writing way more. Well, I mean like a food journal of just I ate this.

Oh, I ate this. I thought I was like, Dear Journal, today for lunch. Not like a review journal. I had pasta and sticks and it was delicious. And I had a nice chat with my, with my hubby. Can't poop. Can't poop. Send help.

One star review. All right. And last up, this is a one star review for Gukaku. This is from Jason C. From Pasadena, California, written October 16th, 2007. This place makes me very, very, very. very, very angry. I can appreciate the idea of bringing Yaki Niku to the masses.

I really can. I mean, it's grilled meat. Everyone except those wacky vegetarians and crack-loving vegans can appreciate grilled meat. But I just hate the fact that Gukaku, God, I'm getting pissed off just saying that. Oh, wow. Does such a piss poor job of doing it. Allow me to list the reasons why this place is the epicenter of suck. Oh.

One, ridiculously overpriced. I mean, this is a little racist. Uh-oh. Oh, oh. Ridicu-Rus re-o. Oh, that was unnecessary. Yeah. Meat equals overpriced, overpriced, and overpriced. And what kind of restaurant would serve s'mores for dessert?

How can they look at you straight in the eye and not laugh when you order it? Are we in Boy Scouts? Do I look stupid enough to pay five bucks for 23 cent? worth of gram cracker, one marshmallow and two little rectangles of Hershey's that's probably left over from Halloween? Well, damn it, I was stupid enough once, and it was only because I had like 14 beers. I'd rather punch myself in the neck repeatedly before I do that again. Oh, my God.

Two, quality is me. M-E-H, especially considering the price I'm paying for eight little stink bug-sized clumps of flesh, I'd be okay and only okay with it. if the prices were at least one-third less. Three, did I mention that it's overpriced? No, no, he didn't. Four? Good for dates?

Maybe. I mean, yes, the decor is nice. The service isn't bad. But damn it, I wouldn't date anyone that thought this was the best place on earth. If you want good Yaki Niku, don't go to Suru-Hashian Fountain Valley, where the meat is top quality and absolutely amazing. The waitresses are cuter,

and the beer flows like flowing beer. Don't go there because there are already enough people out there who are devout customers and would wait easily over an hour for dinner on weekends because it's that damn good. Don't go because then I'll have to wait longer for your arces to finish eating and enjoying the true awesomeness that is Suru-hashi so I can have a table and eat too. Go to Gukaku. You like Gukaku. In fact, you love Gukaku and it loves you back.

In fact, I think Gukaku means keep coming to Gukaku because you love us and we love you too. Aw. That's the end. Bravo. Bravo. Wow. That was like a monologue that you would do at a showcase. Oh my gosh.

Can you imagine just doing a showcase of Yelp reviews and just channeling the anger that people feel? to happen now. Just so one-man show. Just like a spotlight. It was a cold night and I was on the patio without back stakehouse. I can't shit. The waiter wouldn't turn the propane on for the heat lamp. So I was cold all night or something.

I don't know. Wow. That man is angry. Yeah. And racist. And racist. It was from... And an alcoholic maybe.

14 beers? When was that from? I think that was... He said 2007? Yeah. It was a long time ago. Not that that excuses it. Yeah.

Hopefully someone's educated him since then. I'm hoping that in the 18 years since his review... Oh, God. Has it been 18 years. No. No. 2000 was just a few years ago. Come on.

No. We old. We old. Yeah. So yeah, I'm hoping in 18 years he wouldn't write this the same way today. I would hope not. That was bad. I didn't like that.

But. As an Asian person, don't do that. This does make me want to go to Suuahashi, though. I know, why would he give such a glowing review for that restaurant and tell him not to go? Like, just don't include it, because now people are going to go to that restaurant. No, I think people have written him off since ridiculous read. Oh, yeah, yeah. I think at that point, I was like, you know what?

Yeah. But there was just no need just to be like, let's mention the better restaurant. And now, but if you go, it's going to make the line longer and that upset. That's me. I think his ego couldn't not flex about like I know a better place. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have good taste. Yeah.

I think that's what it was. Okay. But you know what? I do like Yukaku. And you know what? I love s'mores. Yeah, although, you know, it's a weird dessert, honestly, to have at. It is.

And at Gukaku specifically, the flame doesn't like ever, you can never get direct contact with the flame. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like, it's hard to cook. Oh, I don't know you're making it yourself. They didn't make. Yeah. Like you literally put the marshmallow into your grill and there's like only a couple little spots where like there's access to direct fire. So it's not even a well.

So it's just kind of a hassle to make. Yeah. But it still tastes like s'more and smores are great. Smoors are great. Want s'm all. And that'll do it for this week's Yelp from Strangers. Veevi, thanks so much for joining me for this first trial run at a Yelp from Strangers special. You're not welcome, enemy.

Okay. I dropped the facade. You did? Did you? I wasn't sure. You're my best friend. Oh, okay. I'm so happy to be here then. Thanks for coming.

I appreciate it. Tell people where they can follow you on the internet. I'm on Instagram. Sayla V-V-E-C-E-S-T underscore L-A-U-Y-V-Y. That's me. That's me. I don't know. You can follow me at Fine Dining Podcast on Instagram and TikTok.

Blue Sky. I'm there. I don't use it. But come join my Discord. I do have a channel in my Discord for Yelp reviews. If you find any that are fun, post them there. Oh, yeah. Maybe I'll, like, read them in character as Jubb and put them on the Discord.

Yeah. But, yeah, and then I have a Patreon if you want exclusive episodes. For this month, I went to Taco Cabana, which is a. fast casual taco chain in Austin. Well, in Texas. Okay. I was like, I've never heard of this.

There's some in Albuquerque. No, it's all over Texas. But not in California. Not in California. Okay, got it. But I grew up on it, and they're the only Mexican,

like, fast food or fast casual chain I've been to that has flautas, which are a specialty that I grew up with homemade floutas that my dad would make. So to be able to have that in fast food form is always a little treat. Even if they don't measure up to the home. made version that my dad makes. They're still solid.

You're not like, dad, your floppas suck. They're great. Sound good. Yeah. Anyways, that is another one in the books.

I will see you all next week with a part two, another Yelp from Strangers spectacular covering five more restaurants, Bob's Big Boy, Rainforest Cafe, Waffle House Chewis and Papa Doe. Oh, man.

It's going to be a fun one. It'll come out on Christmas Eve so you can have yourself a little holiday present for yourselves from the fine dining podcast. In the meantime, I will see you all next week. Thanks for watching. Have a fine day.

Well, there's another one in the folks. We judge the service up to the cooks and while we may have gotten a couple dirty love, though the journey can never stop. Not from the bottom down to the top. We got a new thing's online.

And that's chillies too either like the warming's up on the charge folks and we will see you next a week and next week baby