Fine Dining - Dunkin’: Donuts with Handles, Munchkin Origins, & the Dunkaccino Meme feat. Amy Vorpahl

Episode Date: May 28, 2025

☕ Dunkin’ Donuts: Handled Donuts, Munchkin Origins & Al Pacino’s Dunkaccino ☕ Dunkin’ may be a coffee giant now, but its journey started with donuts — one in particular with a literal handle. In this week’s episode, I break down the entire rise of the chain formerly known as Dunkin’ Donuts, from its humble beginnings in Quincy, Massachusetts, to becoming the fast-casual coffee behemoth we know today. Plus, I'm joined by writer and performer Amy Vorpahl to unravel some of the weirdest moments in Dunkin’ history — including public domain mascots, airport nostalgia, and the most cursed commercial Al Pacino ever agreed to do. Is Dunkin’ still the heart of New England? Or has it become just another burnt bean in the breakfast wars? 🍩 Why Dunkin’ Used to Serve Donuts with Handles 🥣 The Real Story Behind Munchkins (and Why They're Not Holes Anymore) 🕯️ Chocolate Donut Deodorant – Yes, Really 🎭 Fred the Baker – The Exhausted Mascot We Didn’t Deserve 📉 When Dunkin’ Stopped Making Donuts Fresh In-House ✂️ Dropping “Donuts” – Was the Name Change Worth It? 🎬 Jack & Jill’s Dunkaccino – A Meme, A Curse, A Cultural Landmark 🌍 Pork & Seaweed Donuts? Global Dunkin’ Menus You Won’t Believe 💬 COMMENT BELOW: Do you still call it Dunkin’ Donuts? Or are you ride-or-die for the coffee now? 📢 SUPPORT THE SHOW & JOIN THE COMMUNITY: 🔥 Patreon (Bonus reviews & exclusive content!): https://www.patreon.com/finediningpodcast 💬 Discord (Chat chains & share horror stories!): https://discord.gg/6a2YqrtWV4 🎥 Watch full episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@finediningpodcast 🔗 All links: www.linktree.com/finediningpodcast ⚡ Like, Subscribe & Share if you love chaotic deep dives into fast-casual dining! Patreon Producers: Sue Ornelas & Joyce Van Follow Amy on Instagram @vorpahlsword 👉 NEXT WEEK: We’re reviewing Dunkin’ in real time… through a Dungeons & Dragons campaign. See you in “Dunkin & Donuts.” 🎲

Duncan. In the 75 years since their founding, Duncan was never quite able to master their old namesake item of donuts, so they dropped it from the name entirely and said f*** it, we're a coffee place now. A New England chain that Bostonians will swear is better if you have it in Massachusetts, Duncan has set its sights on competing with the likes of Starbucks more so than Krispy Kreme. And that shift in focus has proven successful, as the moniker America Runs on Dunkin' is a cornerstone of their marketing, driving home the idea that their coffee is the fuel we need to start our day. Sure, they still serve donuts, but in the ever-evolving fast food landscape that has swung sharply

towards offering healthy alternatives, the sweet treats have become the millhouse of the Dunkin' Empire, disrespected, disregarded, and often disappointing. If you remember Dunkin' more fondly from your childhood, that might be for a reason, as a couple of decades ago, they abandoned their commitment to preparing the donuts fresh in house.

This week on the show, I'll dunk my munchkins of knowledge into your steaming hot coffee of curiosity so that you too may become an expert on all things Dunkin'. Then we'll turn our focus to the people of Yelp to see what they're saying about the Dunkin' that we went to. Stay tuned, this is the Fine Dining Podcast.

Your table is ready, take a seat. The flavor of the day is mediocrity Wouldn't you like to try a bite? Guarantee it'll be the perfect bite Fine dining, better than you thought, worse than you hoped Fine dining We don't treat mediocre as a joke Breaking every single place we've been Compared to the perfect five out of ten I had no idea that they did that. I still thought it was a doughnut shot.

Like a fresh... yeah, I mean. I legit thought it, I'm learning this for the first time. I've told people like, yeah, I'm doing an episode on Dunkin' and they're like, wait, you get the food at Dunkin' and I was like, like it was Dunkin' donuts for the longest time and I still associate them that way, but I guess most people don't. I get, yeah, wow. I also, yeah, I didn't know that they didn't make their donuts fresh in house. Where are they importing donuts from? They did for the longest time, and we will get to that.

Oh, we will get there. Oh, we will get to that. Oh my God, I didn't know I was gonna learn something today. You're gonna learn so much. Hello, and welcome to the Fine Dining Podcast, the quest to compare all restaurants to Chili's. I am your host, Michael Ornelas,

and this is the show where I dive deep into the history of our favorite chain restaurants one week before seeing how they stack up against Chili's the next. Why Chili's? Because 100 restaurants worth of research deemed them to be the most mediocre restaurant in America, making them the perfect measuring stick of chain restaurant quality. This week on the show, we will be learning about the rise of Dunkin' Donuts, now just

Dunkin', one of the biggest coffee brands in the country, and a chain creeping up on 10,000 locations domestically. Joining me today is an amazingly talented writer, actress, musical improviser, and role player whose work can be seen on Dropout's Dimension 20, Critical Role, and as the dungeon master of Sagas of Sundry Goblin Mode on Geek and Sundry's YouTube channel, it's Amy Vorpahl.

Yay! Hello, hello! Hi, hi, hi. How's it going? Thanks for coming on. Thanks for doing this with me. Of course, of course. Thanks for having me. I feel like it was actually forever ago that we went to Duncan because we have a very special thing planned for the next part of this episode, part two,

and it's taken a while for me to prep. Oh, yes, I like that you're blaming yourself for that and not... I absolutely blame myself. Okay, great. Yeah, it has been a minute, but yeah, nonetheless a memorable experience. Yeah.

Do you have a lot of history with Duncan yourself? Did you grow up eating Duncan? No, no. I think my biggest, like how I even know it is mostly from Burbank Airport. Really? Yeah, there's like a Duncan at Burbank Airport. But I did always, yeah, you're right.

I'm looking at the box that you have over here now. It just says Duncan. I would have sworn, you know, maybe it's like a Berenstein, various thing, but I would have sworn or Berenstein, whatever the hell. I don't know if the pronunciation changes, but like, yeah, I always thought it was Berenstein, like S T E I N. Yeah. And just because it's spelled with an A, I refused to say it differently.

Okay, great. Well, maybe that's what's happening here because I, I really, I thought it was Duncanin' Donuts. You're like, you're not wrong. It was Dunkin' Donuts for a very long time. But it isn't now. Where did we go? Did we go to Dunkin' Donuts or did we go to Dunkin'? It's weird.

It's weird because their sign- Isn't there one answer? There has to be one answer. Their sign. Their sign says Dunkin' Donuts, but as a brand they are called Dunkin'. No. The one we went to, I picked that one specifically

because it still had the donuts intact in the name. But it no longer is? It is no longer Dunkin' Donuts. That's a gaslighting building? It's a gaslighting building. Oh, my God. My world is shaken. I hate it. Uh, yeah, I'm gonna need a minute. No.

We can take a moment of silence. No, no, it's good. My personal history with Dunkin' was, Yeah, I'm gonna need a minute. No. We can take a moment of silence. No, no, it's good. My personal history with Duncan was, I remember when I lived in Illinois when I was somewhere between second and fourth grade, that's when I was there for this. But my mom's dad would always take me to the Duncan that was like right outside of our neighborhood. And it was kind of like the, hey, don't tell your parents I'm getting you a sweet treat.

And he would take me and I'd go get the apple fritter. Oh, we had a conversation about an apple fritter. And so I'll review the apple fritter next week. But there is an element about it that I'm very nostalgic for, that no other apple fritters do. And you were like, not for me. Yeah. But because it's filling. Yes. The consistency of the filling is very different.

It's compote. But I just, I associate it with my grandfather. So it's like, it scratches a nostalgic itch that no other apple fritter can scratch. It's compote. And you know, I taught you that word at Dunkin' Donuts. Compote. Yes.

It's a horrible mouth sound, but compote is just, it's the gel-like, fruity-like substance. You have blueberry compote, strawberry compote. I guess you can have any kind of compote, but it's more gelatin-y. And you're- The more we're saying compote, is like messing with me.

I will never stop saying it, but apple fritter, your apple fritter that you enjoy and have nostalgia for, has apple compote in it. Cinnamon apple compote, compote. And I like it. I do, but again, for nostalgic reasons, I think almost every other apple fritter in it, cinnamon apple compote. Compote. And I like it. I do, but again, for nostalgic reasons.

I think almost every other apple fritter I have is better, but this one, like, there is something about it that I still enjoy because of that memory. Understood. So anyways, that is my history with Duncan, your history with Duncan. Do you want to hear the history of Duncan? Yeah. All right, we are going to jump into this week's Eat Deets.

In 1948, Bill Rosenberg opened the first Duncan shop in Quincy, Massachusetts under its original name, Open Kettle. Two years later, he renamed it Dunkin' Donuts, focusing on coffee and donuts, a combo that quickly became popular in the New England area. Oh my God, it started with coffee. Yeah.

And then it turned to donuts. Yeah, oh yeah, Kettle I guess would have a- And then it turned to coffee. It's a self-realizing, self-fulfilling prophecy. Yeah, the wheel is ever turning. Yeah. And one day it will go back to donuts. And on that day, the Earth will open up.

Just Cthulhu emerges from the sea. Well yeah, the real donut hole will show its face on our material plane. So the name Dunkin' Donuts came from a signature donut that Open Kettle started selling with a literal handle on it so that patrons could have a grip while they dunk their donuts in coffee. But the handle's covered in sugar, too. Like, that would, like what you, the

donut itself is innately a handle. It's shaped like a circle which is how a mug handle is shaped. Yes. This doesn't like help the dirty hands thing. I think it's just like you don't want to risk dropping the donut in the coffee. On what planet would it be easier to hold a smaller like area, surface area? Right. This is flawed. This is a flawed premise. Cause it's also, it's gonna be bottom heavy

and getting heavier as it soaks in coffee. Thank you. Someone said it. So like, yeah, the physics of it don't work, but it is a fascinating idea and the idea that they named their entire brand after. And this is in the 40s that they wanted a handle on a donut. 1948 to 1950.

Were other donuts doing this? Not that I could find. But this, their donut, they were like, our donut has not, not, they're not selling it as like extra dough. Like, hey, get a little bit of extra dough. They're selling it as if you get a handle. Oh my God. Which is so silly to me. It's already finger food. It's like innately a handle.

Like every, it's like putting a handle on a chicken wing. It's finger food. I was literally about to pull up a chicken wing or a chicken finger. Yeah, or a fry. That old question, is a hot dog a sandwich? Is a chicken finger a handle? It's all, well, a handle is just meant

to help you hold it better, but you're already meant to hold it. Yeah, it's not a challenge to hold a donut. No. Yeah. Wow, they solved a problem that didn't even exist. And you gotta hand it to them. And they sold us on the idea that it was a society. Okay, mama would have been awoken back then.

And I don't think she would have. Picketing outside of Duncan. Who needs a handle? The concept lasted all the way until 2003. The handle. No, it didn't. It did. I was alive. It wasn't at every Duncan.

Oh my gosh. Yes. But. This makes me wanna die. This makes me wanna die. Why? That's the second time you've said that about something Duncan related. I'll bring it up in part two.

Oh my God. I don't remember the first one. The handle was eventually retired because of the way standard to-go coffee cups weren't wide enough to accommodate full donut dunks. You can, however, still get the handle Dunkin' Donut in Singapore. Oh my gosh. I used to live near Singapore. Oh really?

Did you know that? I did not know that. There's no way you would have known that. I used to live in Malaysia. Oh cool. In Kuala Lumpur. And did you go to Menia Duncan over there? We did not, we lived in like,

I mean, you're talking some rural ass shit. This was in 80, it was in the 80s, 88, maybe 88 to 92. Oh wow. So, but no, I did not go to Dunkin' in Singapore, 88, maybe 88 to 92. Oh wow. So, but no, I did not go to Dunkin' in Singapore, but good for them. They keep that handle going. God help them. God bless them over there in Singapore and their handles.

In 1955, Rosenberg started franchising Dunkin' Donuts and it caught on fast. By 1963, Dunkin' had over a hundred locations and as franchising became the backbone of their expansion, they hit their 1000th location in 1979, 2000th in 1990, and 3000th just two years later in 1992. A huge rate of acceleration once the early 90s got here. The Duncan boom is what they call it. Yeah, that is what economists know it as.

Yes, the big Duncanin' Boom in two years. Dunkin' revolutionized the donut world in 1972 with the creation of Munchkins, bite-sized donut holes that became an instant hit after Edna Demery, a store manager at a Dunkin' Donuts in Hartford, Connecticut, noticed that the leftover donut holes were being wasted and came up with the idea of frying them and selling them. They're my favorite. Okay, I will eat donut holes all day long.

They're the best. I prefer not the cake version, but I'll eat the cake version. Here's a question. Did donut holes, did this lady in Hartford create donut holes? From what I was finding, I was like, who created donut holes?

And it showed me who created the hole in the donut. From what I found, she was the first one to start not using it as waste. Because I guess originally, donuts were being made without that hole and the middles weren't cooking all the way through. And so they came up with the idea of the hole so that the donut would cook evenly

and to be thinner around the edges. But they were discarding that stuff. It was a baking problem. It was just a baking problem. Okay. Or a frying problem. It was frying. So they came up with the idea of the hole so that the donut would cook evenly and to be thinner around the edges. But they were discarding that stuff. It was a baking problem. It was just a baking problem. Okay. Or a frying problem. It was frying, obviously.

But okay. So then she was like, wait, this isn't garbage. And now, yeah, it's my favorite thing. Plopped them in the fryer and like, and Duncan invented that, yeah. I love munchkins. I don't, there are only a few. Well, only one I can think of that I don't want to eat.

But yeah, munchkins, if that was it, then I'd be okay. I always got excited for the little lunchbox-shaped cardboard that you would get back then. Well, they started that with... Do they still do that? Like, that shape of... Container? It feels like a quintessentially 90s thing, doesn't it? That shape, like the Happy Meal box.

Maybe that's why I like the munchkins, because you get, like, I think... They feel like a quintessentially 90s thing, doesn't it? That shape, like the Happy Meal box. Maybe that's why I like the munchkins, because you get, like, I think. They feel like a prize. Yeah, yeah, it feels like you're being taken care of. It feels nurturing. Yeah, here you go. Yeah, thanks, yeah. Thanks, Mom, I've got everything I need for the day.

Just take my little packet. Pure sugar. To the mines. My nutrients. Yeah, I can take a rest. This is a mine. To the mines. When I go to the mines. My nutrients. Yeah, I can take a rest. To the mines. To the mines when I go to the mines. Your hard hat and your munchkins. They were initially unsuccessfully marketed as donut holes, but were changed to reference

The Wizard of Oz to appeal to younger consumers. What? Which is hilarious because at that point the movie was like 32 years old or 33 years old. Well that movie stops forever. Sure, but the idea of younger consumers. But maybe they were still watching it, you know? You don't know what they were watching. Maybe that was on repeat.

Sure, there were way fewer movies, there were way fewer channels, all of that. But it would be like today, what's 32 years old? It would be like today trying to appeal to younger consumers by making Forrest Gump references. That's the age gap between. Well, but, okay, counter argument. Forrest Gump wasn't a child's thing in the first place. I saw it when I was four, five. Well, that's a mistake.

There's a naked lady playing a guitar on stage. Yeah. And you see her butt. Yeah. So. What's crazy is I always imagined playing a guitar on stage. Yeah. And you see her butt. Yeah. So. What's crazy is I always imagined that I saw her boobs in that movie.

I don't think you see her boobs. You don't. But on subsequent rewatches, I was like, wait, what was I thinking? And I realized that my young mind internalized it when she, like, the camera isn't showing it, but she does show her front side to Forrest. And he's like dizzy looking at it. Oh, and like my child brain was like, I saw boobs and I was like, no, I saw a guy see boobs.

I see boobs. You were you were more voyeur than you thought. Yeah. OK, so Munchkins Munchkins named after Wizard of Oz. All right. And then they just never changed it after the Wizard of Oz. Huh? Yeah. Well, good for them. As of 2021, the Munchkins are produced separately and aren't even actually the leftover holes from the donuts. What, so they're still throwing shit away?

I hate that. Are they really though? Are they for real? Do you know that or are they needing it back in? I know that Munchkins are, I don't know if. Okay, okay. I don't know if there is waste still, but I I know that munchkins are, I don't know if, I don't know if there is waste still, but I do know that munchkins are now created.

Don't they, don't they, okay, so here's what I think is happening. Don't they have like holders that, like the cooking trays literally are shaped like a donut now. Oh, you're right. So they're not punched out. You're right.

Yeah, if that's true. That would make sense, yeah, yeah. So they're not punched out. You're right. Yeah. If that's true. That would make sense. Yeah, yeah. I don't... So there's no extra dough anymore. So there's no trash. It's still the idea of it is sad to me. Yeah, yeah. Because it was born of resourcefulness,

and now it's just capitalism. It felt like a Megazord. Like it fits perfectly, and, now it doesn't. It's like, yeah, yeah. I want to get the donut and then take the corresponding hole and put it in and be like, I am complete. No, but the holes that you write, the Munchkins are like now perfectly, not perfectly, but spherical.

Like they're just, they're just little spheres, which is fun in its own right. But I like the idea of eating someone else's trash. He said it there. Yeah. Yeah. In the 1980s, Duncan introduced Fred the Baker, the tired but dedicated employee who uttered the famous line, time to make the donuts. Wait, what?

That's a mascot? Oh, this guy's going to be a big part. He's disgruntled? I have the ads for you and we are allowed to play them and talk over them because they are in the public domain. Oh my gosh. Why is he disgruntled? They're like, we have a shit ass employee,

and we don't treat him well either. Anyway, that's our mascot. These are the most 80s commercials you can imagine. OK. Time to make the donuts. Oh no. It isn't easy owning a Dunkin' Donuts. Time to make the donuts.

Because unlike most supermarkets, we make up to 52 varieties fresh day and night. Of course, when you make donuts this way, there's a reward. People buy a lot of them. Good morning, folks. Give me a couple of donuts Tell you how good I am. Turn it on, Fred. Turn on the party smile. I'm going to go to the local newspaper.

I've got one more Fred the Donut ad for you, but these are just such a time capsule from the 80s. Wait, I don't, I guess I... Time to make the donut. Oh, he's happier this time. The donuts are always fresh. He's delirious. He's dissociating. He's not in his body right now. Duncan took

a piece of this man's soul. His soul is gone. And this is when he's truly going crazy. I made the donuts. Dunkin' Donuts, up to 52 varieties, fresh day and night. No supermarket. Okay, so their point is that someone is always making fresh donuts. Even if that man- At the expense of their own personal life. Their personhood, because that man is no longer a man. He is not amongst us. He's a husk, he's a husk of himself.

Oh my gosh. That would never fly today. It's so like, work, work, work, work. Like that's all that matters. There's no consideration for the person at all. No, it's like you will get your donuts fresh. Yeah. Also, Fred has a wife.

We only saw her in the first commercial. You're right, she might have left or died because of Fred's neglect, because he only cares about the donuts, because he's been brainwashed by Dunkin' Donuts. It's a tragic tale. It truly is. Yeah, wow.

You could really do anything in the 80s. You really could. Let it gasoline. Yeah. The ad campaign became iconic, running for 15 years, cementing Fred's place as one of the most recognizable characters in fast food history. Oh my gosh. Yeah, that eluded me, I guess. I would have been...

Good for that guy, though. Also with commercial money, that man, ironically, would have been doing Good for that guy though. I wonder you guys. But also with commercial money, like that man, like ironically, would have been doing really well. Like the man playing the disgruntled, overworked, junket employee. If the rates were comparable to what they, I mean, I don't know what they were paying in the 80s for commercials.

More, more, 100%. Yeah. Yeah. Cause I guess you're like guaranteeing to be seen in way more households. Way more households. There were fewer, yeah. There were fewer outspots in general, but fewer. Yeah. Bigger networks. Yeah. No, he would have been cooking.

Now you want to know the biggest tragedy of all of this? While Dunkin Donuts used to bake their donuts fresh on site, the chain switched to centralized bakeries in the 2000s. Now donuts are delivered daily from factories to stores, ensuring consistency, but losing that fresh-baked charm. And at that time, they got rid of Fred the Baker because essentially his whole gimmick would have been untrue. Wow. Even though it kind of already was untrue.

Yeah. But, geez, okay. And he did, like, request, did request a farewell commercial to him. I couldn't find it, but I did see that. Oh my gosh. I guess they made one that was like. This meant something to this person. Yeah.

Do you know the actor's name? I don't. Oh, okay. That would have been, I wonder where he's from. I remember his origin story is. I will say this, it's very Googleable. His name did come up in my research. I just didn't write it down.

It wasn't, yeah. Yeah. Well, he was a husk. He's a't write it down. It wasn't. Yeah. Yeah. Well, he was a husk. He's a husk of a man and he doesn't matter. Over and over in 2019, Duncan dropped the donuts from its name, simplifying it to just 2019. Yeah. So just six years ago.

The move was part of an effort to shift focus to coffee and breakfast items, reflecting the growing popularity of beverages over donuts. We experienced that, actually, you and I did. Yeah, and I feel like, oh, you mean in terms of like getting things other than donuts? Yes, yeah. Yeah, which I guess didn't surprise me, but I didn't know about it.

So I was like, oh yeah, I guess I shouldn't be taken aback by the fact that they have some of these things. I'm just trying to think like, oh yeah, I guess I shouldn't be taken aback by the fact that they have some of these things. I'm just trying to think, like in my life, like do I go, I guess I would go, literally today a friend was like, hey, I'm going to Dunkin' when you pick me up, do you want me to get you coffee? So they didn't say get me donuts, which no, I don't want a donut, but yes, I do want a coffee.

And if it's a Dunkin' coffee, fine. It's- So I guess it worked. It's become the affiliation and I don't get it. Like they had Donuts as part of their name for so long that to treat them as coffee first is just weird to me. Yeah. But it's, I mean, it's fine.

I don't hate it. I don't care. Well, they've had their, the K cups or, you know, it just bagged ground coffee. Like they've had those bags for a while. And- Like in store and stuff? Yeah, like you're able to buy the Dunkin' coffee.

That I have done. I have bought ground and K-cup coffee. Can I tell you, I've been doing so much Dunkin' research that my- You've turned into a- I've turned into a, I am a husk of a man as well. You're a husk, okay, okay. I saw a targeted ad on Instagram to me,

native deodorant X Dunkin' Donuts. What the heck? Wait, so they're collabing? Yes, a deodorant, an aluminum-free deodorant, chocolate donut scented, I guess? Ew! Yeah. Anyway, so guess. Ew. Yeah. Anyway, so I got a whole box. Did you get any?

No, I saw this 40 minutes before you arrived today. Why would you want to smell like a chocolate donut? I don't know. And then like from your like armpits and stuff, like. God, to see, I would love to see the demographic of people who buy that. And who are like responding to that collaboration. My previous episode was on Papa John's to see the demographic of people who buy that and who are, like, responding to that collaboration.

My previous episode was on Papa John's, and for Valentine's Day, they released a Papa John's garlic sauce bath bomb... No. ...because people on Twitter were, like, calculating how much garlic... how many garlic cups would you need, how much would it cost to fill a tub and bathe in their garlic sauce?

And they got in on that action where like, guys, we're releasing a bath bomb. That's funny. It is funny. That's gimmicky and quirky. This other thing is weird. But I love a good stunt collab. You know, I love me some weird capitalism.

Yeah. I have a thing about bath bombs though. Oh. Which is that you should never get the citrus ones, lemon or orange, because it turns your bath yellow or orange and it looks like urine. And I had it happen to me and I was like, well, it's hard to bathe in that color.

It's hard to relax. To me, it's hard to relax. Sure, that makes sense. Yeah, psychologically I wouldn't't wanna be in it. Something about brown doesn't do that because it is almost like mud or it's earthy, but the yellow and the orange, depending on what it is, Yeah, that makes a lot of sense to me.

It's hard to look down and be like, I'm bathing in, yeah, yellow, the association. I'm not a big bath bomb guy, although my new apartment will have a bath with like jacuzzi jets. Oh, you should do it. You should become a bath bomb guy. Yeah, I will.

For once, you know, everyone should try it once. I've done one before. You have one? Yeah, yeah. All right. On like vacation when it was like a big nice tub and I was like, yeah, I'm gonna get a bath bomb for this. I became a bath person after a breakup and it stuck around.

You know, after a breakup, you're like not the same person, but the baths stuck around. So I don't ever, I don't need a bath bomb, but I'm an Epsom salt girl. And I do like Epsom salts that smell like lavender. So now you know. Or chocolate donut. No, no, no, that's so weird.

If a man came up and I was like, oh, you smell like chocolate. I just, or I guess a woman too, it'd be so off putting. There was an Axe body spray chocolate a long time ago that I got cause I was in middle school and I was like, this will be good.

And it wasn't. I bet it wasn't. Yeah, can't imagine it was. Duncan's coffee is a cultural icon with many loyal fans claiming it's their morning fuel. Duncan coffee is consistently marketed as a more affordable alternative to rivals like Starbucks, and it's a key driver of the brand's success. Mmm. Yeah, I think that's true.

Yeah. I'm not mad about it. Yeah. My favorite thing is up next. Duncan made its way into pop culture in an unlikely place, Al Pacino's bizarre Jack and Jill commercial where he raps about Duncan's Dunkachino. The scene, though a little out there, became so famous that it turned into a meme, showing how Duncan has embedded itself into American life even in the most ridiculous ways.

What? Jack and Jill, the Adam Sandler movie where he played himself and his very broadly played by Adam Sandler like twin sister. Okay, I did not see that movie, but Al Pacino. Al Pacino was in it and he did a Duncan spot for it. This one we can talk about after just because I can't play this one in the episode. Editor's note so I can still leave the song in. I'm just gonna perform it, but we'll be reacting to the original one. Enjoy!

Something's brewing at D&D! Wow! El Pacino! It's not El anymore, it's Dunk! Dunk-a-chino? Don't mind if I do! What's my name? Dunk-a-chino! You're a whole new game!

Dunk-a-chino! You want creamy goodness, I'm your friend! Say hello to my chocolate blend! Attica, who I latte like! This whole trial is out of sight! They pulled me back in with hazelnut too! Caramel swirl, I know it was you! Everyone wants my Dunkachino!

Can't get enough of my Dunkachino! Kids from 7 to 17-0, lining up for my Dunkachino Can't get enough of my Dunkachino Kids from 7 to 17-o Bliming up for my Dunkachino What's my name? Dunkachino Dunkadunka Dunkadunka Dunkachino Okay that's it for Al Pacino But will I keep this going at the whole casino?

The Jack and Jill bit? That's finito But I've got more time on this minute beat-o Apply that word ethic cause I'm part Latino And keep it in fire, jalapeno Uh, little something extra for you. Yeah. Oh my God.

The great Al Pacino. That is amazing. It's like, I mean, I do do musical improv now, and that was a perfect musical improv song. Here's the thing, for as stupid as the movie is, I love that. I love that they got him to do that. Yes. It is embarrassing.

I just love the rhyme of 7 to 17-o. There were so many stupid rhymes in there that were bad. Yeah. And then you just go like, yeah, I guess why not? Yeah. It's the Miss New Booty of Dunkin' Donuts. For the creamy goodness, I'm your friend, check out my chocolate blend. Like the scansion is all over the place. This is like my level of what I can do in musical improv.

I mean, I mean, say, I love musical improv. Yeah, but this was written. That's true, yes. So you have agency over what you're, that's so funny. You can revise it. Yeah, so I mean, but the writers obviously did a good job to make this the worst thing in the world. Right.

It was, and the ones and twos, Wicca, Wicca, Wicca, Wicca. And I liked his dance moves. He had some moves with his feet that I was like, you know what? Yeah, yeah. It was compelling and also hard to watch at the same time. That's how I'm described almost on a daily basis. All right. Duncan adapts to local tastes depending on which country it's in

with unique menu items like dried pork and seaweed donuts in China or Nutella donuts in Spain. One of those sounds much better to me than the other one. Seaweed and pork in China and then Nutella don't, I mean, give me a Nutella donut for sure Seaweed. Seaweed and pork in China and then Nutella Donut, I mean, give me a Nutella Donut for sure. Yeah. Seaweed and pork. I don't think they understood the assignment

of what a donut is. You don't have, although, although, oh, devil's advocate, here I go. I had in Brazil, in Rio de Janeiro, I had meat, candied pork, candied ribs, that literally made me cry because they were so good. So I took a bite and my sister who was with me on the trip was like, oh no, oh no, I mean, what's wrong?

What's wrong? And I like literally tears came to my eyes because it was so delicious. So you could make a sugar sweet candied pork. Sure, there's a barbecue place in Austin that's one of my new go-to barbecue places. What is it? Interstellar Barbecue.

They just got a Michelin star. Oh my gosh. And they have peach tea glazed pork belly. Ugh, give me. It's so good. And it's like the sweet plus the savory. It works so well together. Yeah, that's good.

So do you know if the donuts are sweet though? Do you know if these, or are they savory donuts? The Chinese ones? The seaweed and pork ones? Yeah. I don't know, cause like it almost evokes like the bao. Yeah, yeah. Or the pork buns and those are good.

The thing that makes me feel weird about it, more than anything is just that it's Dunkin branded, because to me that doesn't come with an expectation of a certain like high quality. Oh, right, right, right. Yeah. It's like Panda Express, the quality of their chicken is not very high.

Yeah, yeah. It may taste good, but like, you know you're getting fresher chicken if you go somewhere like a Zanku or something like that. Okay, yeah, interesting. Well, I mean, God, I would love to try that and see what that's about, but I would think it's savory and not sweet.

That's what my bet would be. I demand, yeah. And that will do it for this week's Eat Deets. Amy, I hope you were listening to all of that and got some good advice on how to become a major player in the world of casual dining, because the next few minutes are all about you and your vision for a themed chain restaurant of your very own.

Oh God, now I'm intimidated to sing in front of you. I need to think of like a style I want to emulate. Oh my gosh. I'm gonna do this in the style of ABBA. This is the restaurant of your dreams. Here we go. It's coming apart at the seams. Is that right?

That's great. Do it right. Doesn't have to be about donuts or sweets. This is the restaurant of your dreams. There we go. Amy, tell me all about a restaurant concept that you see missing in the world that only you could turn into a reality.

It must be practical, delicious, memorable. Three, two, one, the floor is yours. Okay, I took notes. So let's see, I will say I have this and then I have like one that I just thought of. Both of these are things that I have thought of across the years, Okay. Okay. So the first one is Cloud House.

That one, I have had an idea for that since I was a baby, basically. It's just called Cloud House? It's called Cloud House. It's like a boutique cafe. What you're getting with Cloud House is basically a Jack and the Beanstalk vibe. So it's as if this, like the interior

has been transported and you've just made it, you're Jack and the Beanstalk and you're up've just made it, you're jacking the beanstalk and you're up in that kind of- You've ascended the beanstalk. You've ascended the beanstalk and it's missing your home and so you're building like a little cafe there. Yeah. But there's also castles in the distance

and like 3D kind of like Pixar-y type things on the walls and creatures and stuff flying. Yeah. I like hanging objects too. Is this like LED screens kind of creating that? Absolutely not. Are you fucking kidding me? No, it's practical.

Everything's practical effects. Might get some puppets in there too. Okay. Yeah, no. Oh my gosh. No LED screens. No, it's more, it's way more like Disneyland, like constructed. Okay, okay, okay.

Yeah, but the vibe is whimsy, fantasy, but also bucolic. So like Tudor style or German, like the Fasswack Haus, like that kind of situation. Yeah, there's just castles in the clouds and stuff like that. What are we serving at Cloud House? Okay, I have that too. I literally, okay, the Fasswack House

is the shepherd's pie. And that is just like the Tudor style, but the German version of the beams across the stucco. And Magic Beans, coffee. Of course. Coffee. The Hansel and Gretel, you have different kinds of gingerbread.

Oh, and then because I was like, am I doing just German stuff? Do you know the thing, the Barbara's Rhubarb Bar, that rap that happened last year? I may have heard it. Barbara's Rhubarb Bar. Yes, yes, yes.? I may have heard it. Barbara's rhubarb bar. Yes, yes, yes. Abra kadabra.

Yeah, yeah. Okay, so I know that entire rap. I memorized. I could do it right now. It's a minute and a half. We don't have time. But I could do it. It's like in my bones because I memorized it, because I needed those sounds to come out

of my mouth because I love words. But anyway, of course, so rhubarb pie. It's a song about a rhubarb pie. Yes, yes, yes. Okay. So rhubarb pie, Barbara so rhubarb pie. It's a song about a rhubarb pie. Yes, yes, yes. Okay, so rhubarb pie, Barbara's rhubarb-a-bar, Barbara's rhubarb-a-bar, and then the thousand year sleep would be like bread pudding, a prince's lure, because you've got to lure some princes, waffle maybe,

and then golden eggs, you got your farmer's breakfast. I would say this, of all the places that have been pitched to me in this segment on the show, this one I think has the most realistic chance of like, this would be a solid place. Yeah, I didn't... Well, that's the thing is like, I knew what you're asking for and it's not... I chose to not go too comedic because I'm like, unfortunately, this has been in my head and heart since I was a kid.

So unfortunately, that is what you get. Obviously, you know, Barbara's Root Bar wasn't, like, part of my life until a year ago. You knew it. Five years old. But it all gets filtered into this fantasy bucolic... Yeah. -...cottage style. I genuinely dig it. And by the way,

I'm happy to hear that it's practical. I was just trying to get a vision, so I was trying to calibrate. No, but I know some of the guests that you've had on, and I can imagine how silly Billy they went. And like, and no, I went with like, actually this could work. Yeah, I like it.

Okay, last, the other one was, this is just a one concept thing. It's a bar, it's kind of pirate themed. And it's called Hooks. And there's just hooks everywhere, for your purse, for your fucking coat. There's just hooks. You need a hook? There's coat. There's just hooks.

You need a hook? There's plenty. There's like five more. There's five more for one person than any one person needs. Because I, why do, it would be, it's like solo effort. Just put hooks there. Are these like sharp, you could get hurt on them hooks? Like pirate hooks?

No, no, they're, again, it's practicality. I love when a bar has hooks under the tables, under the bar, on the frigging beam or, you know, the pillars and people can, you know what will get used. A hook is a beautiful thing. It is so underappreciated, the practicality of a hook. Because you only have so much surface area, surface. Yes.

Surface is finite. Hooks, as long as you got a wall or an underside, hooks can go anywhere. And you can stack them at different heights. Thank you. And it solves all the problems that you would have with coats and scarves and jackets. We don't have that in LA so much,

which is where I've lived for 20 years, so it's not a big deal. But like the amount of problems that a hook solves, in my apartment too, hooks on furniture. Right. Where are you gonna put that? Oh, just hang it. Yeah.

Come on. I have a coat rack around the corner and it has been like such a, an MVP of my life. Yes, yes. Just being able to quickly, quickly put my stuff, take it off, whatever I need. It's right there. Hooks are practical.

That's what a bar needs. I'm into hooks. Okay, it's called hooks. And I like that. And I love that it's like, I don't care about what they serve. They can serve whatever food or anything. It's just, they've got hooks for you.

It's convenient. Like the selling point is just ultimate convenience. And a lot of it, a lot of convenience. I love it. Yeah. Amy, thanks for going over all of that with me. I now have a better insight into what you dream about. One last time, if you can harmonize this with me. This is the restaurant of your dreams.

It's in an octave. And also my voice is like so tangible. It's an octave. And also my voice is like so tanked from all the... It resonated at the frequency it needed to. Eeeee! For me to know that that was hit well. All right, let's bring things back down to reality and see what other people think of the Dunkin' Donuts

that we went to in this week's Yelp From Strangers. We need a little yelp, a little Yelp, a little Yelp from Strangers. A one star, two star, three star, four star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star,

five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five star, five A little Yelp, a little Yelp Give us those complaints while you literally White and die Yelp! Alright, this is Yelp from Strangers, our segment where we turn to Yelp and read out our favorite One Two Three Four And five star Yelp

I might keep that whole gap in there Oh my god, I got so lost I wanna play with you. All good. I just didn't know what was going on. Five star Yelp reviews of the very Duncan that we went to. Do you mind if I start us off with the first review? No, I'm gonna be mad if you start us off.

Four star review. This is a four star review. Okay. From Just See from Los Angeles, California, June 15th, 2016. I love it. They still haven't figured out how to optimize the line formation.

Maybe it's a failure of the interior design and it'll never be fixed. When it's busy, it's unbearable. When it's on the quiet side, it's great. There's plenty of room to hang out and get some quick work done. Parking is hit and miss, and big SUVs are dicks about taking up two spaces,

but that's independent of Duncan. The end? The end. The line formation. How you just stand in line to order, my God. You know, the great news is that what we're learning is you really can complain about anything. You can be upset about anything.

You can. And you can blame it. And there's an outlet for you, and it's Yelp. It's Yelp.com, my friends. Can I tell you my... And still get four stars. Yeah. Hated every aspect of this.

Kind of Duncan's fault, not really Duncan's fault. People are stupid. Four stars. Yeah. My favorite review I've ever had was in my January Patreon episode, I covered a place in Austin called Dan's Hamburgers. It's my favorite hamburger in the world.

And there was a guy trashing them on a one star review who is like, I called in my order and I left my gamer tag, dark clouds. And they put it under John and they refused to call me dark clouds when I went in and like he went on. I'm not doing it justice, but he went on this tirade of like, people call me dark clouds. I'm cool to be dark clouds. And it was like, really? And it was like D A R K KR-K-K-L-O-U-D-Z. And this was like 2011 or something

that he left this review, so it was like, there was no sense of irony to it or anything like that. I just love the thing. Witness me, witness me, I will be witnessed. And it's like, this has nothing to do with the restaurant. Yeah, no. Nothing. Oh, amazing.

Good for him. Three star review. All right, this is Pinky L in Glendale, California, or she's from Glendale. And we don't know the gender, I said she though. All right, three stars. Dunkin' Donuts are my favorites. I went to this store at Glendale Boulevard

to get a dozen of donuts. As I was about to enter the store, I bumped hard in the glass wall thinking that it was the best. Okay. Oh, we're about to get a lawsuit. Okay. I love this review,

and I picked it because I thought you would love it too. Yes, I already love it. So this is like not even a review. This is like, I'm a, I can't look where I'm going I'm clumsy. Yeah Okay, as I was about to enter the store I bumped hard in the glass wall thinking that it was the passageway parentheses. The glass was so clean and clear Oh my god. I actually have a story about this. That is like, oh

My god, this is wild. Okay, I'll tell you afterwards. Nothing happened to the glass Oh my God, this is wild. OK, I'll tell you afterwards. Nothing happened to the glass. Whew. But I got hurt big time. My forehead and my knees. To encounter, OK, my forehead and my knees are still hurting. So I'm composing this message. The amount of physics that your body would have to be able to do

or the amount that you like do not immediately react. Right. So you hit your forehead, probably, I'm guessing. And then you just keep going. That's how your knees hit. You're just like, you don't go, oh no, back up. You just go bonk, hey! That's a bonk bonk right there. That's a double bonk.

All right, the girl staff of Dunkin' Donuts, parentheses, I asked for her name from the other staff, but I won't mention her name. I guess she just wanted it. I'll keep it secret in my box. Okay, she kept on laughing. At first it was okay with me, but she won't stop laughing. Okay, the change in tense is jarring. Even if I asked her to stop because it wasn't funny, I asked her several times to stop laughing. It really wasn't funny since I got her and I am a customer,

but she continued to laugh. Okay, we are now, this laughing saga has been four of the like 16 lines. She continued to laugh, parentheses. This time it was really annoying, okay? Close parentheses and went inside the kitchen and looking through the small glass window at me and still laughing teasingly.

We are changing tenses within sentence, within the sentence. We have now done three tense verb tenses in one sentence. This happened in the past, this is still happening. It's still happening, it does happen. You know, somewhere in the future, this employee is still. Okay. Yeah.

I hope Dunkin' Donuts management should retrain, okay, another tense, should retrain this person to be more sensitive and to know how to behave properly on the other hand okay and then full swing the other hand the cashier was so nice and even offering water to me he for sure knows good customer he comma for sure knows good customer service he told me that he will talk to that girl i'm giving four stars since i love duncan donas but this girl needs to be retrained. Okay, but, and then- Still get a decent review.

Yeah, exhibit A says that it's three stars, so no, she didn't. She gave it, she says, I'm giving it four stars since I still love Dunkin' Donuts, but exhibit A shows that she gave it three stars. This was a three-star review. But I do like the fairness that she had a really shitty experience

with a staff member. A good experience with another one. And so that's a three. That's not a one, that's a three. Yeah. Okay. I do love a reason, like I think the three star reviews I trust the most,

because like you weighted it. You weighed your options to get there. Yeah. You didn't arrive at three stars willy nilly. Yeah. I love this very much. It has nothing to do with anything. It has nothing, this does not belong.

The food wasn't good. It's not, you know, it's just, I hit a thing and got laughed at, which by the way, I have a friend who like, she loves slapstick. Like if you see someone hit him, she will, I just, I picture her when I picture this story. This person is just, that's human nature.

Yeah. This person didn't do anything wrong laughing. It's kind of funny. This woman, or Pinkie, Elle, needs to be able to laugh at herself, okay? That's what I'm, but three stars, that's fine. And also go live your life. So I ran through, in Malaysia, when I was in school.

Ran through. They, okay, so here, when I was in school. Ran through. They, okay, so here's something I know about glass. Glass, you can make them stronger using potassium when you cook the glass for windows. They didn't use potassium in Malaysia in their glass. So yes, I did. I ran through it.

I was trying to, because they had sliding glass doors. Was this also like a, it's so clean, you just didn't know it was their kind of thing? Exactly. Yeah. And I was so excited. We were doing like crafts or something. I was showing a friend something we had made outside. So I just blasted through it.

Made the mistake though, when I blasted through it, unlike, you know, bonk bonk here, had a knees, I noticed that that's weird. Then I back up. Well, the way thatk here, head and knees. I noticed that that's weird. Then I back up. Well, the way that glass shards fall, it held in suspension for a little while and then fell. And so I have this scar still from that. But not only that, this scar too,

and one equally right here. Which you got like sliced up. Huge shards fell on me. Oh, wow. I remember looking down and seeing the white of my bone in my arms. And I was, I was five, six. Wow. But I remember it.

And your innards, like on your arms, like the- The tendons. From the skin all the way to the bone, looks meaty and weird. And I remember what it looks like. I mean, it looks like flesh, yeah, it looks... That's...

...but horrible. Yeah, I've never sliced myself in that way. I've like scraped and like, you know... Yeah. Well, anyway, Pinky and I have... And to be fair, if someone had laughed at that, that wouldn't feel very good. But everyone was freaking out. There's a threshold of harmlessness And to be fair, if someone had laughed at that, that wouldn't feel very good. But everyone was freaking out.

There's a threshold of harmlessness versus the bonus showing. Yeah, yeah. There's a spectrum, you know? That's true, that's true. Yeah. Did you enjoy those two Yelp reviews? You can get three more over at my Patreon. That's patreon.com slash fine dining podcast.

And for just five bucks a month, you can the extended deal from stranger segment as well as an exclusive Restaurant that I cover each and every month dropping on the last day of the month In January I covered Dan's hamburgers, which is literally my favorite burger in the world It's this little diner in Austin, Texas, and you get to hear me gush about it. February, I covered Jersey Mike's, a sandwich place that I didn't have a lot of respect for going in, and they have made me respect them. I actually think Jersey Mike's is very good now. And for March, I covered Blaze Pizza, which if you've never had is one of those assembly line style pizza places with a wood-fired oven in back. And it's actually very good.

So you can find all of that at my Patreon and more. Hope to see you there. Thank you. And that's part one. Tune in next week for something a little different from what I normally do. We will still be reviewing and scoring Duncan's so we can add it to the tchotchke of mediocrity.

But Amy, you are deeply entrenched in the world of Dungeons and Dragons and TTRPGs in general. I've been playing in the same campaign as a player every week for over eight years now. Oh, my gosh. And I've put a little something together so we can experience Duncan through the shared lens of this game that's been so important to both of our lives. Next week, I will be your dungeon master for an actual play D&D podcast episode themed around this meal we shared.

I'm so excited. And I will be calling it Duncan and Donuts. Naturally, it's right there. That's right there. I'm so excited for next week's episode. I hope you are, too. And in the meantime, Amy, where can people get more of you online? Yes, you can find me at VorpalSword.

I'm on, that's mostly on Instagram, but on all the places. And there you can also join my Discord. And yeah, I hang out there all the time. Amazing. And speaking of which, you can join my Discord. The link for that is in the description of this episode. You can find me on social media at Fine Dining Podcast on Instagram, TikTok.

I am on Blue Sky. I don't use it enough, but if you follow me there, I will interact with you and like, I wanna use it more. That's my goal. I wanna use Blue Sky more. I think everyone has a Blue Sky account and also wants to use it more. Yes.

It's just like, who has the energy? Yeah. Who's got the time? But I have it and I want it to, so, you know, whatever. Anyways, join us next week for a very special Dunkin' N Donuts. In the meantime, have a fine day.

["Waiting on Our Table"] Waiting on our table, waiting on our table. The step is done and we had some fun. Now we're waiting on our table, waiting on our table Join us next time, we're stuck in line Waiting on our table, waiting on our table We're so hungry, tummy's grumbling Waiting on our table, waiting on our table

We gotta continue our search for mediocrity Yeah for mediocrity Yeah Waiting on our table, waiting on our table We'll be waiting and dissipating Waiting on our table, waiting on our table We're sleeping in this week, we're digging in But we're waiting on our table, waiting on our table We've got an appetite, but just sit tight Cause we're waiting on our table, waiting on our table We've got an appetite, but just sit tight Cause we're waiting on our table, waiting on our table

Search will continue when we see you next week He, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, Waiting on our table Have a fine day!