Fine Dining - Firehouse Subs: Steamed Meats, Pickle Buckets, & Titanic Talk

Episode Date: August 20, 2025

🚒 Firehouse Subs 🥒 This week, we head into Firehouse Subs to see what the fuss is about. Emmy Award-winning guest and cohost of On Brand with Jon & Marisa Jon Glover joins me to talk steaming meats, charity pickle buckets, Titanic lore, and why being put on hold too long might just drive you insane. Along the way, Jon invents his dream restaurant “Capades” (an ice-themed wonderland), brushes shoulders with James Cameron (not to brag), and gets hot and bothered for firemen. 🚫 Steamed Meats That Don’t Quite Work 🥒 Pickle Buckets & Firehouse’s Community Spirit 🎬 Jon Worked with “Jim” Cameron on Avatar 2 & 3 🚢 Way Too Much Titanic Talk 🏰 “Capades”: Jon’s Dream Restaurant of Ice (and It’s Free) 🍔 Firehouse Subs Joins RBI (Burger King’s Parent Company) 📞 Put on Hold So Long, They Drove to the Store Instead 🎤 Jon Freezes When Asked to Sing 🙄 Jon Constantly Tells Michael to "Go On" 💬 COMMENT BELOW: What’s the strangest on-hold experience you’ve ever had with a business? 📢 SUPPORT THE SHOW & JOIN THE COMMUNITY: 🎉 Patreon (Bonus episodes, full Yelp segments & more): https://www.patreon.com/finediningpodcast 💬 Discord (Food talk, memes, cursed Yelp): https://discord.gg/6a2YqrtWV4 🎥 Watch full episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@finediningpodcast 🔗 All links: https://www.linktree.com/finediningpodcast 🎤 Jon’s podcast: On Brand with Jon & Marisa (@onbrandthepod) Patreon Producers: Sue Ornelas & Joyce Van 👉 NEXT WEEK: We finally taste the food at Firehouse Subs to see how it stacks up.

Firehouse Subs, a sandwich chain who has hitched their wagon to the idea that consuming their subs is heroic, Firehouse Subs has gone all in on their firefighter theming. From their creatively named sandwiches like the Hook and Ladder, or the Engineer, to an actual hot sauce bar, Firehouse Subs has done something that no other sandwich chain has managed to do, convince me to buy a $3 pickle bucket in the name of a charitable donation. But Firehouse Subs isn't merely a gimmick, it's a lifestyle. The company's stores are highly involved in their local communities, perhaps more so than any other restaurant chain going today. In fact, their track record is so pure that the only real controversy surrounding them is that a Georgia store owner was rude to veterans.

This week on the podcast, I'll steam my meat of knowledge and stuff it into your toasted buns of curiosity so that you too may know everything I've learned about Firehouse subs. Then we'll direct our attention to the people of Yelp to see what they're saying, about the very firehouse subs we just experienced. Stay tuned, this is the Fine Dining Podcast. Your table is ready. Take a seat. The flavor of the day is mediocrity. Wouldn't you like to try a fight?

Guarantee it'll be the perfect fight. Fine dining. Better than you thought, worse than you hope. Fine tiny We don't treat mediocre As a joke Breaking every single place we've been Compare it to the perfect five out of ten

So I think I just had the same experience with you But I didn't realize quite how gay it was I mean we're talking firemen We're talking hot meat We're talking steamed buns Like I saw it through what I thought was gay eyes But clearly you saw it through gay eyes and I can't wait to go on this ride.

Yeah, the weather girls were playing through the speakers at all times. Yeah, it's a trip, man. This is going to be a lot of fun. Yeah. Hello, and welcome to the fine dining podcast, the quest to compare all restaurants to chilies. I am your host, Michael Ornellis, and in this podcast, we learn the history of our favorite restaurant chains one week

before seeing how they compare to chilies in week two. This week on the show, we will be talking about firehouse subs, a sandwich chain that has a philanthropic cause baked into its mission and joining me to discuss this brand as a master of brands as he's one of the hosts of on brand with John and Marissa and a fine dining podcast two timer now. He's an Emmy award winner and believes you should never look beneath a Costco rotisserie chicken. It's John Glover. Hi. Thank you so much. It's very exciting to be back here again. Of course. I thought last time maybe because of my hatred of the chicken bake, I know it has a loyal following that maybe I wouldn't

be asked back, but you must have been desperate. And here I am. I'm not on team chicken. bake. I have no loyalties as far as any. Look, I'm just here to evaluate. I'm not championing anything that isn't the blooming onion. I mean, I'm not looking at you and assuming you like a chicken bake, but I assumed you like a chicken bake. I mean, chicken bake has a big loyal. Okay, first of all, who cares about the chicken bake? Can we talk about the biggest Costco news that's happened in a century? Yeah, let's hear it. Coca-Cola is back. Coca-Cola is back. Am I the only person on the planet who doesn't find that much of a difference between Pepsi and Coke? Yeah.

And I don't care. Like, I just, I'm not bothered by one or the other being there. I'm going to head out. I'm a Dr. Pepper guy. Okay, that's fine. You know who Dr. Pepper is? Actually, they might be their own. They're, yeah.

I think they're their own. They're curing. But Dr. Pepper was in the machine at Fire subs. Firehouse subs. I forgot the name of the place. We were just at. It's right here. Firehouse subs.

They had Dr. Pepper in their machine. But anyway, listen, I'm a brand loyalist. That's why I have this podcast about brands. I'm a Coca-Cola loyal since I was collecting Coca-Cola memorabilia since I was a child. My mother got me into that. I drank way too much of it and probably 20 years ago switched to Diet Coke, but I am loyal to that. And when there was some beef between Coca-Cola and Costco and they separated, Costco's like, you're out, Pepsi's in. It was devastating.

I don't even have a membership, but I still like to know that it's there. I'm just following from the sidelines. I just follow from the sides. But yes, this just happened in the last, like, two weeks. I will. Don't care. Yeah, I don't care. Okay.

Well, I'm sure people listening do. I'm glad you care. I'm glad people care. It makes no difference to my life. Okay. Yeah. Maybe you have, like, dead taste buds because there is a difference. Pepsi tastes like old, weird medicine.

No. And Coca-Cola is refreshing and delicious. No. We'll move past this. We'll just agree to disagree on our soda preferences. And that's fine. That's fine. We can coexist in a world where firemen are the dominating, uniting force.

I would kill to be dominated by a fireman. I mean, can I just tell you there is something about a fireman? I have so many firemen stories I could share with you right now. One, when I came across like the hidden fireman like training center in L.A. I thought I was going to pass out and die. It's by Dodger Stadium. I made a wrong turn. And all of a sudden there was like 60.

sweaty fireman jogging towards my car. How many trees have you pretended to be stuck in? I thought you're going to say, how many trees have you pretended to be? I'm like Lucy style just like this on the side of the road. And then once I don't, I'm not saying this to brag, but I did a Star Wars documentary.

And I'm not saying this to brag, but I got to live on Skywalker Ranch for a week. And I stayed there. There was like a little like hotel that George Lucas had when people stayed, which can I just throw it also was very cool. Every room was named after someone that he really admired. Uh-huh. And one of them was named after you, not to brag.

One of them, not to brag. One of them was me, the Emmy room. No, one of, I was in the Windsor McKay room, which is like a cartoonist from like the turn of the century. And whatever room you were in, whoever was named after had all their stuff in it. So like I could look at all like Windsor McKay's cartoons and stuff. I just thought that was really cool. Anyway, I was the only guest at the time staying there. Well, at the time, Lucasfilm and Skywalker Ranch was so far into like off road from like where society was. He was required to have his own. own little fire department. So I was staying in this place and like went out of my room and went into the little kitchen to get something. And like one of the Skywalker firemen just came in. Like I thought I was going to die. It was like just me and this hot fireman, he's like, oh, I'm just here to get some water. I'm like, okay. I bet you are. I have a hose anyway. So those are my two firemen stories. Great. Do you have any history with firehouse subs specifically? No, none at all. That's why I. Other than you want to be a firehouse sub? Oh, you were setting me up and I didn't take it. No, I saw it as it came out of my mouth. That was really good. Yeah, yeah. Dom Fireman and

my first subbing. No. I have never had it until an hour ago. I will say I did look it up very quickly because I do like to research. It had high marks. It said that this place is great, that they have top quality meets. Yeah. So I was going in very excited about it. Okay. Not very excited. That's a lot. Like a subtle nod in the mirror. Yeah, I don't want people to be like, I wasn't driving across town, like, he-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h. I'm finally getting the sub. What would you drive across town like that for? A fireman, probably.

That's the wavelength we're on. All right, well, do you want to learn the history of firehouse subs? Yeah. All right, we're going to go into this week's Eat Deets. Eat Deets. Eatery details. Firehouse subs. was founded in Jacksonville, Florida, in 1994, by brothers Chris and Robin Sorensen,

who were both former firefighters. They opened their first small sub shop with minimal capital and a firefighting theme inspired by their family's decades of fire and police service. Now, you don't have to do this. We do this on our show. We kind of, we like to place everything that we talk about in context to when the Titanic sank or when the film Titanic came out. so this happened this this chain started three years before the film titanic came out yeah so at this time because i worked with james cameron so i know him a little bit he was like he was already knee deep into making the film casting had been completed they'd probably done a lot of the principal photography um that's just to kind of you know have that on the scales how many uh hook and ladder subs do you think could fit on that door with rose at the end of the movie oh my god if you know anything about our show mar

And Marissa and I hate the facts where they're like, you could line two million subs up and go here to the moon or whatever. We don't know those things. That's not in our wheelhouse. So I won't even take a guess on that. 47. See, it's like, who cares? I know. I just know.

That means nothing to anybody. How many fit on this fictional door that I've seen in person up close? That door went up for auction last year. Is that true? Yeah. All right. I bet someone's like with an axe to. grind like throwing it in their pool and they're like see you can put a second person on there

everyone knows you can't i heard jim that's how he introduced himself to me and so that's why i call him jim um i heard jim once say he had to die like it's a movie like who cares if he could have lived on the door he had to die i agree with jim he had to die we wanted to see the happily ever after nobody wants that we just want to see 15 minutes of them floating on that door together i want to see him hanging from her neck and what she's holding on to is the heart of the ocean and that's what she lets go. Like, I want him and the heart of the ocean to change places. How do you feel about her just tossing that? Negligent.

Unbelievably, a valuable piece of jewelry into the ocean. Terrible choice. Yeah, I kind of agree. You could have provided for progeny. You could have saved a country. You could have done so many things with it. It's like the GDP of at least more than one country. Yeah.

Yeah. It's irresponsible. But again, made for a great movie. We love Titanic. He had to die. He had to die. after a cautious start that had nothing to do with

Firehouse Sups. How did that happen? Okay, another thing you should know about our show is our tagline is we may go off topic but we'll always be on brand because we go off topic a lot so I'm going to interject that into this show in this episode. That's what I bring. Do you want to call me Marissa?

There's your Netflix show. Call me Marissa. A podcast co-host disappears in the woods. Call me Marissa. After a cautious start, initially focusing on company-owned stores and even buying back early franchises, the chain began expanding beyond Florida by the late 1990s and relaunched franchising in 2001 to fuel growth. From the outset, firehouse subs set itself apart with its firehouse-inspired concept.

Restaurant interiors are decked out with firefighting equipment and custom murals of local heroes, creating a distinctive community-centric atmosphere alongside its hardy subs. Yeah, one thing I did notice about this place is it kind of makes. maybe realize that all of these sub places, at least the ones I've been to, they kind of picked their theme. Like Subway's like, everything's going to be kind of subway related. And Jersey Mike's like, everything's going to be like East Coast related or wherever they're from, New Jersey. And this place felt very heavily like we are, you're in a firehouse. I used to work at Paramount Studios as a page. I can't name drop anybody. But genuinely,

one of my favorite things to see up close was the prop warehouse. And I really, I really, really love like sets and like kind of the the way that they imitate something that that isn't real right and because of that it kind of scratched that itch at firehouse all of the like all of the decor the axes the helmets the murals and stuff like even like down to the fake brick it reminded me of a movie set a little bit it was a little back lot of paramount or 20th century fucks did you notice The tables, every table was a Dalmatian print on the table. And that, to me, was a fun little Easter. I didn't notice that. Okay. Yeah. Sweet.

That's why there were spots all over it? At first, I was like, why are there leopard tables? And I was like, Dalmatians. That's clever. They also had little like, uh. Though that does seem very old-timey. Like, that doesn't feel like, I don't feel like I still see the world of, oh, there's a young boy and a Dalmatian outside of the fire station.

They did have little like, I assume for kids, little hell. Like firefighter helmets that had a picture of a Dalmatian on it at the front register. Oh, see, I love that. That's been going back. I mean, that's like the Burger King Crown. Burger King Crown and Long John Silver would give you a Pirates hat, which they still do, which I appreciate. Okay. I haven't been to Long John Silver's yet.

Yeah. There's only, there's like one in town if you want to do it. And it's not that close. And that's now half KFC. So you're not getting the full experience. So I'm going to a pure one. The closest one is Bakersfield. Probably.

I'll probably. I like the pure ones. Make a day trip. If you go to one, just so you know, when you're leaving, there is a big bell by the door. If you have had a good time and good service, you're supposed to ring the bell, and they're all like, oh,oy. Ah, I didn't. Is that like advertised or is it like an Easter? You're going to find that I'm punking you.

They're like, don't touch that bell! I ended up with like a mugshot. The menu centers on hot, hearty submarine sandwich is loaded with premium meats and cheeses famously steamed to lock in flavor and served on toasted rolls. Firehouse subs introduced fan favorite sandwiches like the signature hook and ladder sub and over time expanded its offerings with salad, soup, chili, and other sides, but it has always maintained a focus on quality and taste consistently ranking at or near the top of consumer surveys for flavor in the sandwich category. I could be wrong.

I did not know they were steamed meats until I heard your intro, and now you've solidified it. I am quite convinced that steaming meats makes meats less good. Yeah, it's not my favorite. It's not my favorite prep. I would say it's the opposite. Like, I did not find them very flavorful. I think all the flavor drips out during the steaming process. I want most of the meat I eat to touch fire.

Okay. All right. What does that mean? You're going to love Avatar 3. I mean. Way of fire. I knew I'd somehow be able to get it in. Fire and Nash.

It's all about this whole new. Is that actually what it's called? Yeah, it's about this whole new Navi tribe. The new villain is all about fire. Wow. If you like your meat to touch fire, definitely go see Avatar 3 on December 19th, 2025. Oh, this year. Yeah.

Wow. It's coming out. I didn't even see Way of Water. And I didn't like the first one. I have a credit in Way of Water. What is it? John Glover, researcher. And for people that don't know, I was James Cameron's researcher on Avatar's 2.

three. Did you research the fictional planet? Okay, so these are the conversations that I always have with people like him. So how does researching work for like a science fiction movie? Here's what's going to happen. James Cameron, Jim, as I know, and will come up to me and say, hey, John, if I were to shoot a bullet underwater, what does that look like? I pull together all the research that I can find of people shooting bullets underwater. It gives him a jumping off point. He finds the ones he wants. It likes. He can see how much like the trail it makes and all these different things that he's looking at it from a scientific point of view, he passes that on to the different departments, and then they like avatar it, they navigate it. Were you the one

he turned to when he was like, if I want to get someone pregnant by plugging their ponytails into one another? That was before my time. Okay. But I would have. If he was like, how do I get someone pregnant without having sex? I would have come up with the tail plug. The ponytail talking? Yes. Yeah. The kuru is what that's called. The bond. Like the Like the brain disease, guru? I can't with you, man. He's making a billion dollars. What are we doing?

We're eating subs at 10 in the morning. I'm punching down at that. No, I'm punching up, you know. You're doing something. He's above me. He's going to destroy you. Jim? No, you don't call the hit out.

All right. Next bullet point. Call it off. Firehouse subs built its brand around authentic firefighting culture and a public service ethos, which is reflected in everything from. its tagline, enjoy more subs, save more lives, to its community fundraising efforts. Rather than rely on gimmicky advertising, the company emphasizes heartfelt service and local engagement. In fact, it has been rated the number one restaurant brand for supporting local

community activities in recent years. I'm all for a company that does community good. I think it's not make sandwiches, but we'll talk about that later. In 2005, the Sorensen brothers created the Firehouse Subs Public Safety Foundation. as a nonprofit arm of the brand to support first responders. Through initiatives like in-restraint donation canisters and the sale of used pickle buckets, the foundation has funded life-saving equipment and training for public safety organizations.

By 2021, it had distributed over $62 million via thousands of grants to fire departments, police departments, and EMS units across the country. 62 million? I mean, that seems substantial. Listen, I'm all for, I did not know about this purchase. of old pickle buckets until you bought this one there. I got to say, I do love this because I'm a brand boy, so I like branding.

I like things that are branded. Yeah. This isn't a brand that really I care that much about at this point, but I do like that. I do like that they sell them cheap. And if they use that money for something good and you find a purpose for that, I think it's great. It does apparently reek of pickles if we open this up. Oh, they don't like really wash it out or sanitize it. We can do an unboxing later.

Let's do it right in my face. I'm ready to take that pickle. punch. Yeah. Stay tuned. Firehouse subs saw steady domestic growth through the 2000s and 2010, accelerating as a major player in the fast casual segment. The chain grew from about 500 restaurants in 2012 to its 1,000th location by 2016, and by 2021, it had roughly 1,200 locations in 46 states and Puerto Rico. In fact, between 2010 and 2021, the company tripled its restaurant count and quadrupled its system-wide sales reaching an estimated $1.1 billion in annual revenue as franchise expansion

took off nationwide. Wow, that's a lot of bland subs. Yeah. I mean, I think we know where I'm headed with my evaluation of it, but I had no idea that there was that much growth. I'm always shocked by everything. I read this week, Skyline Chili, are you familiar with them? They're like a Cincinnati brand. They won like best regional fast food in the country in a U.S. let's say today thing, but like Del Taco won like best fast food chain in the country or something. I'm like, all the del tacos around here are like gross. I mean, I eat there, but they're not like, they're kind of like, they're kind of like not well kept. They're kind of, I think in LA, that's just a thing though. But I didn't even know they really existed in enough places. They would be like the best

fast food chain. It might have been Habiburger too, which I also didn't know was everywhere. Habiburger is like way bigger than I expected it to be, but also since it's a yum brand's restaurant. Oh, it is? It's in, yeah, it's in the same family with Pizza Hut, AFC Taco Bell. So it's like, it's their burger place. I never knew that. You taught me something, Michael. And Young Brands prefer Pepsi.

Yeah, that's why they suck. And that's why they feel dirty. They feel dirty because of Pepsi. I mean, when was the last time you went into a Pizza Hut that felt nice? The one on the Titanic was pretty nice. Don't try. Don't try to bring Titanic I'm setting you up

Very heavy-handedly How was that? I missed the joke To talk about your relationship To James Cameron I've already done it Which seems like all you want to do on this show Wait, who?

You know him is Jim. Oh, Jim Cameron, yeah. Yeah. You know a funny Pizza Hut story There was one right by my house It was in like the same parking lot as Trader Joe's and it closed down And they were tearing it down

And they were like, ooh, what are they going to put in the new Pizza Hut location? three parking spaces. That's how small the footprint of that store was. It became three new parking spots. That can't be true. I swear to God. Because it wasn't a sit down,

it was like a go in and grab. Was this like the Pizza Hut booth for one that popped up in New York? Did you hear about that? No. You didn't hear about that. No. So like New York City had like,

you can book for, it was only open for like five days. It was the size of a phone booth. Love it. And you book 15 minutes. And you go in. and they give you like a personal pan pizza like through like a robot and you just get to enjoy it in there I guess I don't know are there stimulants in there or you just I don't know is it air

conditioned I need to know what's in there now I'm going to have to look this up when I get home yeah I have no I really I signed up I just didn't get like I love a gimmick man filled up too quickly I love a gimmick there's also like an ego house in Tennessee or something like that whereas like have a log cabin for a weekend that's fully ego colored and themed and like it's sticky it's going to be a so sticky weekend we don't wash it between between people taco bell did that too they opened like a place in like palm springs i think that was like a weekend long and sold out super fast i love a weird branded experience i do too i live for it i want to go to one of them yeah i want to be selected for a for a personal pan pizza for one inside a lonely phone booth in new york city that one seems

lower on my list unless I got to know more about it. Being in a tight space with a tiny, I do love Pizza Hut personal pan pizzas though. And I hate that even though I'm boycotting them right now, Target has stopped selling them in most places that I know. Yeah. That's where I would run to grab one. I'm a blazed pizza or a Domino's pizza guy. I love Blaze pizza. It's so good. Heavy sauce, heavy cheese. That's how I order it without saying extra and getting charged more. Heavy sauce, when you put the sauce on, I don't want to see the crust. When you put the cheese on, I don't want to see the sauce. That's how I want it made.

Most of them will do it. You seem like someone who like orders while snapping at people. No, I only talk. I don't want to see the cheese. Not at all. I am so nice to them. I'm just telling you how in my head that's how I'm feeling about it. Yeah.

They pulled the fire hose to get you off of them today. They were like, can you stop breathing down our neck? We're making your sandwich. You're like, you have to do it right. Well, I did have to confirm with them that I didn't want them to cook my mayonnaise. I want 19 things on the side. side. I did get everything on the side.

Because I can't eat a lot of food and I have to take it home and then throw it away in two weeks. Yeah. That is the routine. That's what my friend's dad would always say. He's like, can you pack this up for me so I can throw it away in two weeks? Yeah, that's what I do. The brand's first steps outside the contiguous U.S. came in the 2010s. Firehouse subs opened units in Puerto Rico in 2011 and entered Canada in 2015 with its first

franchise in Ontario. The Canadian presence grew to dozens of locations over the next few years. validating the concept abroad and laying the groundwork for further international expansion. Okay. Firehouse subs remained privately held by its founding family for nearly 27 years until late 2021, when Restaurant Brands International RBI, the parent company of Burger King, Tim Hortons, and Popeyes, acquired it for around $1 billion in an all-cash deal. A billion?

In cash? I never understand all-cash-all-cash. deals. Does that literally mean like they brought a briefcase? It can't be. But that people like, he's buying the house all cash. What does that mean? I assume it's just wired? Yeah, I think it means like you have it all now as opposed to like

It's not wads. Yeah. It's not, it would be great if it was wads. I would like it to be a Wad transaction. Someone needs to reach into their sock and pull out a rolled up stack of hundos. I'm ready to give you 24 wads for this crappy sandwich company. Take it or leave it. I feel like that is.

Deem this, bitch. Bill, I'm allowed to say, bitch. It's the worst way to say you're going to pay. In a wads. I don't know. I know. I don't mind. I do know.

I've had a few wads. I know. The Sorensons and existing management agreed to the sale with conditions to preserve the brand's legacy, keeping the Jacksonville headquarters, retaining employees, and continuing the foundation's mission, and RBI pledged to apply its large-scale resources to accelerate firehouse subs growth in both domestic and global markets. I kind of love that. I do too.

That they're like, hey, you can't change too much. Because usually a place might go, screw you. Like, we're going to do what we want. We own it now. But it really does seem like they stayed true to those requests. Yeah, to the vision. Yeah. Yeah, I appreciate that.

Yeah. Though I do also like when you go outside the country and a place that you're familiar with is completely different. Like, I'm sure you've done KFC. And when you go over there, like at Christmas time, like Colonel Sanders is like Santa Claws and they sell like a big Christmas bucket. I think that's when you go over where? To, uh, Japan.

It's funny, that grew from them assuming that's what Americans did for Christmas. Right. And it's like, we don't do that. And I'm like, well, we do now. Well, it was also a guy. There was a guy because I did KFC as an episode and I apologize, but I forget a lot of what my research was after it's over. But it was like a guy that started that.

He's like, you know, in America, chicken is like the thing for Christmas. And he kind of started that whole lie. Yeah. And then it just spread and that became their tradition. Yeah. I love it. Firehouse launched a mobile ordering app and a revamped loyalty program known as Rapid Rescue to Go, which by 2021 had over 3.5 million subscribers and accounted for more than 10% of transactions

alongside a growing share of delivery sales. The chain also experimented with new store formats and locations, opening restaurants in non-traditional venues like airports, hospitals, hospitals, college campuses, and they updated their equipment, such as a specialized steam oven to improve speed and consistency. God, the damn steam. That's what they need to look. Now I'm just picturing someone's, like, on their deathbed. They're like, what can I get you?

What do you want your last meal to be? And they want it to be anything. The only thing in the hospital is firehouse stuff. Speed. They just die. And then they steam their body. They are the steamed meat. They are the steamed meat.

There is your Hulu. series. I, yeah, I just, especially when you're like firehouse, steaming isn't what I think. I think of smoke. I thought it'd be like, yeah, like grilled or smoked. Though I will say, I mean, your point was more on the mobile apps. I'm a big mobile app boy. I mean, I live a thrifty life. So I shop where the coupons and the deals are. And nowadays, everyone has, you got to look at the app for a good deal. I just hate a marketing email. I do too. But if it's like I'm going to get a free. Sure, but don't you have like a whole separate email account for those? That's your mistake.

People do that. Yeah, I have one that's just for that. I only have a dozen email accounts, but they're all for Pokemon Go. I've got... What, when you can only get shiny smirgle off of a snapshot and you only get one snapshot per day, and even during those events, you get five. I'm limited to, oh, a one in five chance for a thing that's like one in 64 odds. I got to have multiple accounts to get the thing I'm chasing.

I honestly don't even know what you just said. Great. Put translation under that in human terms. I did not understand that. But I know what you mean. Sometimes you need to have more than one email address to attack like a thing. Yeah. To get something that you want, Ticketmaster, whatever.

But yeah. Yeah, you should just have one for like stores. Yeah. It's not a bad idea. Yeah. I'll do that. And I'll credit you. Thank you.

Like, John Glover invented multiple email accounts for, for couponing. John Glover did this at gmail.com. Yeah. Thank you, Johnny. Thank you, Johnny. At gmail.com. I think it's taken. Because I took it after the last time you did my podcast.

Thank you, Johnny, 69, 69 at gmail. That one somehow is more taken than the other one. In June 2023, Firehouse Subs opened its first European location in Zurich, Switzerland, and has signed development deals to launch more than 100 restaurants. across the Middle East, United Arab, Emirates, and Oman, and also 100 restaurants in Mexico by 2030. As of 2025, the chain operates... We're in the future now? What's in the pipeline, John?

Go on, I know. As of 2025, the chain operates over 1,300 restaurants worldwide and is positioned to enter new markets like the UK, Australia, and Brazil. All right. They're global. They're on the move. There's hoses all around this world now. And Brazil... That's what they should do. Brazil needs it. They should. Yeah.

Why? Because they're burning down the Amazon rainforest. Oh, okay. Yeah, they do. They should have, they should squirt other condiments out of a fire hose. This feels like a, like a warped tour, like wet t-shirt contest. You know, whatever happens happens, it's going to get a little sloppy, but it'd be more fun than your little tongs of steamed memes. And that'll do it for this week's eat deets.

All right, John, I hope you didn't catch. fire listening to all those sizzling hot factoids because now it's your turn to pitch a restaurant establishment of your very own. What song style should I do for the theme song of this of this little bit? What song style? Yeah, we got to sing the theme song. Okay, so here, listen, I know you've got this thing with theme songs. Mine's a little more complicated than that. Oh my God. Because mine is a cover song. For all the eye rolling you've done for me. I don't, I can't carry a flip No. I can't sing. I don't pretend to sing. I don't sing. You're about to suggest a cover song of like, what is it, John Cage 413, like the song

that's just silence? No, it's a fun one. It's Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice, but it'll be sung by different artists. Like Bjork will sing it. Springsteen will sing it. I'll get them on the horn. Get them all on the horn. So you can pick your theme, do Bjork. So I'm doing Ice Ice Baby Performed by Bjork But the lyrics are But the lyrics are my lyrics No, they're still Ice Ice Baby

No, that's not the point of the segment That's what my restaurant is Do you want, what am I supposed to do right now? Do you want to hear my restaurant or my song? We're just introing the segment With a theme song and then we go into your restaurant Okay Um

But it goes and no no No, no, we're going to do this I'm going to do Ice Ice Baby, like Bjork singing my lyrics, but you're going to sing line two, and then I'll do three and we'll do four together. What? This is the restaurant of your treats. All right, give me a line. I can't.

Give me a line. I worked for James King. I can't do this. One line. I mean, I picture her. It's her. du biorg like ice ice baby great that's it that's line two okay line three big ice strong rising the fire engines this is the restaurant of your trips john tell me all about a restaurant

concept that doesn't exist uh yet you would go into a measurable debt to make it so something that you would cut the ribbon on opening day with a tear in your eye it must be practical, delicious, and memorable, three, two, one, go. All right. I feel like you're not going to be on board with this, but I don't care. It's my restaurant. So something that you probably don't know about me, and I think I told you when we had our breakfast subs, was that I really like ice.

So oftentimes when I'm driving around town, I've always got a big cooler of ice water, a big cooler of Diet Coke, and a third like Stanley that's just for us. ice. And I will run into wherever I know has self-serve ice, Adele Taco, habit, not 7-Eleven, because they're complicated and they try to charge you for it. But places that I know that have self-serve ice. Yeah. And I'll fill up my things with ice and leave. And Marissa caught one of this, my co-host for my pod. And she started calling those my ice capades. So I would go on these adventures. I'm not there to buy anything. I just need ice when I get home. I can't make that much ice at home. It's just something I do. So I have.

have these ice capades. So my dream restaurant, I think, would be called capades. And it would be an ice focused restaurant where, now here's the thing. So I've started on, if you look at our Instagram for my pod, I do like a, I'll do a breakdown on the different ices. Like I'll put a picture of the ice. Ice is very different wherever you go. Everyone knows there's pellet ice. It's chewy. There's like cubed ice. There's like square ice. It's like connected. There's what I call orange slice ice. There's a lot of different ices. There's crushed ice, which is my least favorite because I want the ice

to stick around. But I want a place that's just ice. Like, I don't need chicken tenders. I can get those at canes. I don't need a hamburger.

I can get that in habit. You know what I can't get in one place? All the ice is. Are you mixing and matching ice? Mixing and matching icees. And you know what? This is going to be what's really shocking. It's all free.

No questions asked. You just come in. You're in a very, I haven't picked the design yet. Maybe it's stark white like an apple store. Maybe it's super colorful like an old rainforest cafe. But it's just ice machines along every wall. And you go and there's picture. You can see what kind of ice each thing is.

You can fill up your things. You can just sit, crunch on ice, sit there, play with ice. Sometimes you know how, like, we're in a hurry. Sometimes we'll wash our hands with ice. You could do that. But it's an ice restaurant called Capades. And I think it would be very successful. Free ice for all.

Successful? You would turn a profit? No, but then how do you define success? By people being happy. I don't need money, but hopefully people make a donation. The thing I'm against them doing it. other places. You have an ice bucket.

It's all for free. Yeah. You bring your ice bucket. You bring whatever you want. So really this is just you're making a business that it's just like literally I want to see this. I need this for my personal lifestyle. I can't. I need this to exist.

I cannot believe I'm the only person that likes ice as much as I like ice. Let me. Let me guess. The guy who doesn't care about Coke and Pepsi also doesn't care about ice. Not that I don't care about it. I brain freeze so easily. Oh, here we go. I'm a room temp boy.

You know, all you have to do is stick your tongue on the roof of your mouth. That does not work. Well, I know, but we tell people that to make them feel better. I brain free so easily. Like, I, this is probably not the best store for you. It's not for me. I mean, you can get that big ball of ice that they put in like whiskey, I think, is what they put it in at bars. Every kind of ice you've ever imagined, snow cone ice.

Bring your own syrup. We don't provide the syrup. You got to bring your own blueberry. You got to meet someone. a little bit halfway your entire place offers no calories just ice no energy we need water and cooling that's it you know in a in a world that is literally heating up people are going to be thanking me i don't think this is a terrible idea capades is going to be packed but but what it needs is a partnership what it needs is like that long john silvers that's half what an a

W. What's the other half, Michael? Syrups? Sure. Serips. No, like just anywhere. Like, you could partner with McDonald's and they have the Capades room and it's like, cool. You get that special McDonald's Coca-Cola that only theirs tastes the way it tastes. You know why? Because the straw is bigger and the formula. They do so many things to make their Coke taste different. And then you have a back room. I'm not a, okay. Now, first it went from a collab to back room. I'm not a back room boy. You've got a trap door. on the ground on the employee side of the counter that goes down to a basement with a password and then inside there is a vault and then there's capades. Why is it so hard to get to?

I don't know. No. You had me at Collap. I'm not. I don't mind that. I will attach my ice wagon to another brand before it melts. But it's half and half partnership. Maybe I'll do frosted mugs too.

Ooh. What's a place that's like known for its drinks? Sonic. Yeah, Sonic. They have all those colorful, icy drinks. Yeah. Did you see,

did you get one of those unicorn horns? They had a fancy unicorn drink a few months ago and they were giving out these unicorn horns. I wanted so bad, there was four of them.

Two of them changed colors. One of them had glitter and one of them was just boring. Yeah, the nearest Sonic is like Duarte. I know. It makes me bad that we get commercials for them

because the nearest one is in Duarte. Yeah, I mean, I, look, Capades is your dream. this is about you one last time just give me that one line as bork this is the restaurant of your dreams three two one this i'm not you have enough just loop it on the restaurant of your dreams do do do do do do do do do do do do you ice baby oh you gave it to me there you go thanks for going over all that with me john i now have a better insight into what you dream about

I'm going to have a nice sip of icy beverage. All right, now let's bring things back to reality and see what other people think of the firehouse subs that we went to in this week's Yelp from Strangers. We need a little yelp, a little yelp from strangers. A one star, two star, three star, four, or five, I. So get a little yelp, a little yelp, a little yelp.

A little yelp, a little yelp. Give us those complaints while you literally white and die. Yelp! All right, this is Yelp from Strangers, our segment, where we turn to Yelp and read out our favorite. One, two, three, four, and five star Yelp reviews. Oh my gosh, sorry.

That's my favorite thing. Not with people not knowing what they're supposed to do. Yeah. I love putting people on the spot. Someone pointed that out, and they're just, like, you're a pervert. We're going to read our favorite one, two, three, four, and five-star Yelp reviews

of the firehouse that we went to specifically. Do you mind if I start us off with the first one? Go for it. Three-star review. This one's from Will G. from Brea, California, June 30th, 2019. Didn't realize the subs here were all served

hot, in quotes. I'm with him. I didn't know either. Go on. Not my favorite. Go on. The young lady at the counter mentioned that Any sub can be served cold. Well, it's not obvious on their menu because when I looked online, it said these are our hot subs and there was 12 of them. And it said, these are our cold subs. There was one.

Go on. What's with all the hand waving? Go on. I'm not a peasant. Go on. So instantly, they doubled their menu. Very smart. They were very accommodating and made mine cold.

It was the hook and ladder, so it wasn't a big deal. accommodating all they did was not put it in the oven go on willie g is too easily impressed you guys aren't going to believe what they did they didn't heat it go on oh you're i'm so triggered uh ham and turkey breast i was let down by the bread spongy bread sucks is this still Willie G. Yes. And that was in all caps. Spungy bread sucks. I can't say that enough. Let the spongy shitty no personality bread anywhere near a sandwich. Use crusty breads to create a great sandwich. About $13 for a large sub and it wasn't that good. It needs a signature. First Firehouse subs I tried was in Houston a few years back. Can't recall if I enjoyed it back then either.

Then why are you bringing it up? Listen, it's an okay sandwich. I love his listen. Listen, let me get on the same level as you. It's an okay sandwich. It ain't the sandwich of sandwiches, but it'll fill you up. The weird thing is I couldn't taste the difference between the ham or the turkey. How weird is that? Because it's all steamed, Willie. They steam the flavor out.

I agree. Go on. Mine all tasted the same. Go on. Everyone was nice and friendly. The place is very clean. It's a good sandwich and a great cause. Come grub.

here let me know when you do like this like me at will goatee the food pro oh he's a pro wow he's a pro i'm shocked that he's a food pro i feel like that i feel like he's giving himself that name absolutely yeah yeah he's no pro he didn't go through the amateur ranks to start no his his comments were basic but i found it enjoyable i'm gonna give him four stars okay i'm gonna rate the raiders i'm gonna flip the script. Let's do it. All right. I'd give them three.

Yeah, I was being generous. There was a little bit of like a flip-flopping element of like, and also like the tangent of bringing up having it in Houston, but then not knowing where he was going with it. He wasted our time. He meandered. But he was right. I do think some of his points were solid. I think that the food sucked.

I think the bread. At first I thought was good. It smelled good. But it was very bland also. But the people were nice. He was on point with those things. Yeah. John, the food god.

Two-star review. All right, I'm going to share a two-star review from Tate P in Los Angeles. This is from July 5th, just the day after 4th of July. They're probably still reeling and hungover from the firework display. 2017, 20 years after the release of Titanic. All right, so called to pre-order, placed. to on hold, dot, dot, dot, drove all the way there where no one was in line. My call still on hold.

That is bold. I have done that too. I have done that. Where I am like on hold and drive to the place and see if I can beat them picking it up. I love it. Tate, you're number one in my book. My phone is still in hand 15 minutes now. Well, Andy Warhol said we all get 15 minutes of fame.

This is yours tape. Placed and received my order and my call was still on hold to 22 minutes. I just hate bad customer service. Got a sweet and spicy meatball sub. Who was too busy to get my phone order when four people were working? Exclamation point question mark. Exclamation point question mark. After a dot dot dot.

Dot dot. God only knows. L.O.L. That's like, he's like maniacal. He's just like sitting back like, who, who's too busy to take my? He's, he's, he's doing a Heath Ledger joker just like in his own little behind his phone. Yeah. Laughing.

Laughing maniacally. Yeah. Now, he puts fix this issue on the, on my podcast, we have something called a brand aid where if you find a problem, you offer the solution. He's just saying fix it. He doesn't say how. And it could be a girl because there's a puppy. singer named Tate, I don't know, they probably won't

come back, frustrating period of ellipses plus one more period. So I guess my feeling on this is I do hate when I can't reach a human being at a store. It makes me more insane than I want to say.

I remember when the PS5 came out, during the pandemic, I had pre-ordered it from Best Buy for like... We get it. You're which. Pod money. I know Jim Cameron. Wow.

I bought the door. I won the auction. That was me. That was me. It's right here. It's just one of those things where it's like, I just want to talk to a human.

Anyways, so Best Buy, I'm sitting in my, like the pickup space and I can't reach a human being inside to like you bring it out curbside. They're like, oh, you did it for inside store pickup. I'm like, but you have curbside. And they're like, yeah. but that's not what you selected.

I was like, it is. And I got an email two weeks ago that y'all changed it to I have to come in. And there's a pandemic right now. I'm not going inside your store. I'm not. And they just open the door and set it down on the ground. That would be okay. Yeah.

I would have done that. No, they ended up bringing this to me, but I had to like catch someone as they were going to another car. Was this in the heat of pandemic time? Yeah, this was like November 2020. Wow. Yeah, I almost had like a breakdown. I was just like, I don't want to go in there. I understand. I do think pandemic was a, it had its own rules. But yeah, even it is just customer, we talk about this a lot on our show. Customer service is just out the door. It's just done. It doesn't exist anymore. It's all automated or it's offshore. Or it's this new younger generation that don't give a frick. Yeah. I called Cheesecake Factory last week, two people. I had to call back both people. All I asked, can you tell me the difference in size between,

the lunch portion of chicken piccata and the regular portion. The first guy, in this tone, said, I don't know that. What? But could you find out? Yeah. Someone should. And then the second guy said 2299 and 3099. And I was like, those are prices.

I was like, is that the calories? He's like, no, that's the price. I'm like, that's not. But those aren't quantities. This is, I already ranted about this on my show. You were asking for quantities, right? Yeah. Yeah.

I need to know what the $10 was I was paying for. But what did you want to know ounces or like? What I wanted to know is every other time I've bought that before everything has gotten so expensive was when I bought, there were no, there weren't two. There was just the one. And you would get three chicken breast. Yeah. So now is it lunch is two, dinner's three. What is it?

Yeah. Just what's the diff? Yeah, yeah. Nobody knew. Yeah. There should be an answer. I agree. Price doesn't help anyone. When does that help me?

No, it doesn't tell you how much you're getting. No. How about those two Yelp reviews? You can get three more over at my Patreon, the extended Yelp from Strangers segment, at Patreon.com slash fine dining podcast. In addition to that, you can get a free full fine dining episode every single month. That covers a restaurant that is exclusive to Patreon. Recently, I've done Boston Market.

I went to one of the 16 remaining in the country. all the way in New York City. It was not great, but I got to cover it. And for September, the Septemberger semifinals and finals episode will be my exclusive Patreon episode. However, it will be free. All you have to do is go to the Patreon to hear it. Otherwise, you're going to have to wait an additional week to hear how the tournament ends. That's patreon.com slash fine dining podcast.

Thanks so much. Hope to see you there, Dinamaniacs. And that's part one. Tune in next week as we tell you what we thought about our meal at Firehouse Subs. In the meantime, John, where can people get more of you online? Well, I can't imagine that anybody would want another second with me. But if you do, you can check out my podcast called On Brand with John and Marissa. We drop every Thursday.

It's a very fun podcast. It's a comedy slash history podcast. My background is in researching documentaries and biography. So I have turned that into a podcast where I research brand. So every episode is about an iconic brand. You learn a very fun history of it. You learn a lot about Marissa and I. Everything from like your traditional brands like Campbell Soup or Rubik's Cube to Taylor Swift as a brand or Santa Claus as a brand or the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade.

It could be whatever we want. We just did LaBoooo because that's a very hot brand right now. But it's a lot of fun. So yeah, check us out. We also have a Patreon that's on on Tuesdays called Offbrand, where we get to dive. even a little deeper into brands or get a little more. It's kind of like on brand after dark. So yeah, there's lots of things you can hear.

Yeah. And you can follow this show on Instagram and TikTok at Fine Dining Podcast. Blue Sky, finddindingpodcast.bysky.com. I'm on Discord. Come chat with me. Come have a dumb fun time there. Post your pet pictures. Post your food pictures.

Tell me places you want to see me go next. And I have a Patreon as well where you can get an exclusive restaurant review every single month, as well as the full extended Yelp from Strangers segments. That will do it. We'll be back in just one week's time. In the meantime, we're just going to be waiting on our table. Thanks for joining. Have a fine day.

Waiting on our table, waiting on our table. The step is done and we had some fun. Now we're waiting on our table, waiting on our table. Join us next time we're stuck in line. Waiting on a table, waiting on a table. We're so hungry, tommy's grumbling. Waiting on a table, waiting on a table. We've got to continue our search for mediocrity.

Yeah. Waiting on a table, waiting on a table. We'll be waiting and dissipating it. Waiting on a table, waiting on a table. Swiping in next week or digging in. We're waiting on our table, waiting on our table. We've got an appetite, but just sit tight, because we're waiting on our table, waiting on our table.

Search to continue, and we see you next week. He he, he, for the language. We're just waiting on our table, waiting on our table, waiting on our table, waiting on our table, waiting on our table, waiting on our table, waiting on our table, waiting on our table, waiting on our table. Have a fine day!