Fine Dining - Hometown Buffet: Absolute Trash

Episode Date: October 29, 2025

🥴🍽️🚫 Hometown Buffet: The Absolute Bottom of the Tchotchke of Mediocrity 🚫🍽️🥴 This week, we revisit a meal that has haunted me since 2014: Hometown Buffet, the worst restaurant experience of my life. Joined by Trey Burch, I relive the sleepy Sunday morning buffet that somehow managed to fail at everything. From nonexistent service to questionable sushi, this trip back to mediocrity's basement proves exactly why this chain is extinct (and deserves to be). 📉 The Rise and Fall of Hometown Buffet: 4 Bankruptcies and a "Scatter Bar" Concept 🥴 A Nearly Empty Sunday Brunch is the Reddest of Flags 🚫 No Service, No Bussing, Just a Neighboring Table for Dirty Plates 🍣 Trey Eats Sushi at a Low-Grade Buffet (and Lives to Tell About It) 🥓 Every Food Item Somehow Worse Than the Last 😷 Sneeze Guards Positioned Way Too High to Help Anyone 😡 The Manager Who Told a Guest Her Refund Was "Unfair" 💀 Declared: The Definitive 0.00/10 on the Tchotchke of Mediocrity 🪦 A Buffet So Bad, I'm Glad It's Gone 💬 COMMENT BELOW: What's the worst restaurant you've ever eaten at? 📢 SUPPORT THE SHOW & JOIN THE COMMUNITY: 🎉 Patreon (Bonus episodes, full Yelp segments & more): patreon.com/finediningpodcast 💬 Discord (Food talk, memes, cursed Yelp): discord.gg/6a2YqrtWV4 🎥 Watch full episodes: youtube.com/@finediningpodcast 🔗 All links: linktree.com/finediningpodcast Patreon Producers: Sue Ornelas & Joyce Van Patreon Subscribers: David Ornelas, Kellie Baldwin, Jeremy Horwitz, Herbert Amaya, Simone Davalos, Scott Bennett, Amy Reinhart, Josef Castaneda-Liles, & Travis Langley Free Patreon Followers: Joe Warszalek, Lauren Cummings, Grace Krainak, Keri Estes, Robert Duran, Patrick Elliott, Michelle Elmer, Dave Plummer, Nicholas Volney, Michael Gerard, Tracy Molino, Phuong Duong, Tyler Robinson, Brandon Gully, Mason Cruz, Michael Milito, Mez, & Aaron Hubbard 👉 NEXT WEEK: The Bridge Season begins with the history of Outback Steakhouse with my guest, returning favorite VyVy Nguyen.

Is hometown buffet the worst restaurant of all time? As a podcaster who has worked his way through over 100 chain and fast food restaurants in search of perfect mediocrity, it's not lost on me that I have yet to define what exactly that restaurant would be in the middle of. Today, I correct this hypocrisy as we turn our eyes to the worst restaurant I've personally ever dined at. Hometown Buffet, known for what it calls a scatter. Bar buffet set up, hometown buffet took chaotic anxious vibes to a new level.

With their sticky counters and sneeze guards that were rendered pointless by how high up they were, hometown buffet lives on in my memory as a culinary abomination that can't even do breakfast right. Today on the podcast, I make the man who invited me to this dump pay for his crimes as we dive into the chain's history and why I despised this meal. so much before turning to the people of Yelp to hear what they have to say about it as well. Stay tuned. This is the fine dining podcast. Your table is ready. Take your seat.

The flavor of the day is mediocre to try. Do you remember if it compared like to IHop sticky? Like was it? It wasn't like IHop syrup bottle sticky, but that's like an expected source of stickiness. Whereas hometown buffet counters at a buffet. I want cleanliness. The stickiness wasn't just syrup. It was other, it was scattered.

It was mystery. It was everything. Yeah. You were there. Yeah. I just don't remember the actual sense of touch when I was there. But I could, yeah, I could definitely see it being sticky. It's lived on me since.

Hello and welcome to the fine dining podcast, the quest to compare all restaurants to Chili's. I am your host, Michael Ornellis, and welcome to my Halloween spec Dracula. This is truly the. most haunted Halloween episode I've done so far because I'm reviewing a restaurant that is not with us anymore. It's called hometown buffet, and while it's rude to speak ill of the dead, there's no rule against dancing on its grave. This week on the show, we'll learn the history of hometown buffet before recounting a visit there over 11 years ago, and then christening it

as the worst restaurant on the Chotchke of Mediocrity. And I am dressed up as the the new Chicago Pope to exercise this demon. Here to join me also dressed up for Halloween is one of my good friends from college, a former roommate of mine, and the son of a witch who made me eat at this godforsaken place. It's Trey Birch. Hello, I'm Trey. I'm also a hometown victim. Hi, Trey.

You can just like instantly feel the chills go down your back even though it's been 11 years. It's a little spooky. Yeah. I think by taking me there, you made an ass of yourself and your husband. Halloween costume is appropriate in that you are dressed like a donkey. Yes. And I love that it's not like donkey from Shrek. It is literally just a generic donkey costume.

It looked comfortable and I don't know. Yeah, don't know. Yeah, don't know. Yeah, I hope to be like that one day. One day. Yeah, it's just like part of my goals. So I'm like, oh yeah, might as well wear your goals, right? Sure. We have to talk about the history of hometown buffet.

And before I do that, I want to ask about your history with hometown buffet. Have you only been there the one time with me? Yep. First time was that one early Sunday morning we went. I didn't know this was a chain. Right. Before, like, I knew we went and I was just like, oh, this is a local place. Maybe we went.

I hated it. I chalked it up as just a trash mom and pop restaurant. And then when doing this podcast, I was like, that's the worst place I'd been. And I looked it up and it was a chain. And I was like, I have to do an episode on them. And then they closed all locations. And I was like, well, I guess this will be my white whale. But you know what?

No, you're not escaping that easy hometown buffet. I hate you. And I'm here to tell the world about it. But also, it's funny you say that because I feel like hometown buffet always looked like it was closed. It had those vibes, right? And the rooftop had like a tint of red that just seemed faded and shaded away. Yeah, yeah. It's just like kind of like an abandoned building type.

It felt like the kind of place where you would just expect to find caution tape around it. I never did see that, but I would have never been surprised by it. Same. Yeah. Okay, well, that's our histories with hometown buffet. Do you want to hear the history of hometown buffet? Why not? All right.

Why not? Yeah, we're going to jump into this week's Eat Deets. Eatery Details. Hometown Buffet was launched around 1991 by C. Dennis Scott, who had previously co-founded the Old Country Buffet chain in the 1980s. Seeing an opportunity on the West Coast, Scott left Old Country Buffet in 1989, 1990 to create his own buffet concept built on an all-you-can-eat, self-service scatterbar format that offered a wide variety of dishes and quick cafeteria-style service. I mean, that's the year I was born. So it's like the number of the beast. Yeah.

It's just sad that recently, you know, it's closed down and you outlived it. Yeah. It just hit me today. Like, I just outlived hometown buffet. You know, it's crazy when you see all your friends start passing away when you get older. Yeah. Hometown buffet, early casualty. Okay, let me elaborate on the scatter bar term because that stuck out to me.

The scatter bar was the. company's signature format where food stations were arranged in a scattered or maze-like layout rather than a single line supposedly allowing for a more interactive and varied dining experience. Yeah, that makes sense because I do remember just feeling overwhelmed at all the options at once. When maze-like is a description of how you want your layout to be, you're on the wrong track. Right. Unless you're making a haunted house. Yeah, and since they didn't have much business, we were there, I felt like it was pretty empty. It was pretty empty, yeah. It definitely

there was no maze of a line and it was just us taking on the scatterness of. Yeah, it felt so much more disheveled without people there. From the start, hometown buffet positioned itself as a friendly family oriented restaurant offering classic American comfort food in unlimited quantities at a budget price. The chain became known for being a place its patrons could pile their plates with roast meats and gravy, mashed potatoes, veggies, and more, all in a casual self-served setting. This value-driven formula, why pay for one plate when a few extra dollars buys endless plates, made buffet dining especially popular in 1990s suburban America.

Yeah, it's funny you mentioned comfort food because there was nothing comfortable about that place. What's your stance on buffets in general? I think they're exciting. It's just like the variety? Yeah, the variety. And I just try to take advantage of all the foods that are pretty. expensive at normal places and make the most of it. Oh, so you're trying to get like the bang for your buck factor.

Exactly. That's your mindset when you enter a buffet. Yes. Okay. I think for me it's variety. But even then, I don't really like buffets. And I think it's just because the full, like, breadth of options that they have makes me wary about the quality.

Like, I feel like getting high quality buffet food is few and far between. Vegas stands out as a place where you can, like, go and actually get what feels like good high quality buffets. Right. Yeah, you're all about the quality. I understand that. Yeah. I'm just... He says while eating lunchables.

Are you more value-driven or quality-driven when you eat? It's a little bit of... both but hometown straight was definitely more value oriented do you have designated meals of like oh this is a thing i want to treat myself i know it's good i'm going to enjoy it and then you have other meals consciously or like what can i get for cheap exactly yeah yeah do you like the cheap food or is it like it's in a different tier where you're like oh like taco bell i like it for cheap food but for like food across the board it's tough for me i'm not that picky when it comes to food And I do like all kinds of food, no matter the quality sometimes.

So, yeah, I could definitely stuff myself with some fast food and be happy about a little bit of the quality and, yeah, and the value of it. What's your like rotation of fast food places? Here in California, I would say McDonald's. It's everywhere. But I miss Waterburger. Taco Bell, yeah. You a Taco Bell guy. But also, I mean, it doesn't really count, but Chipotle is kind of a go-to.

But also, sorry, I eat at McDonald's like the worst times. Like usually it's after a long night out with some friends. It's after like it's a, it's a guilt meal. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. I wouldn't go like sober. I'm just kidding. The fries are salty because of the tears.

Exactly. Yeah. Hometown buffet expanded rapidly in the 1990s and soon grew into a nationwide presence. By 1996, it merged with rival old country buffet under parent company Buffet's Inc. Creating a buffet empire of 332 restaurants across the country and over $660 million in annual sales. The growth continued into the 2000s.

Buffets Incorporated acquired the Ryan's buffet chain in 2006. And at its peak, the company operated roughly 600 to 650 buffet restaurants nationwide, making it the largest buffet group in the U.S. Coming up, the buffets, ink, didn't take much time for them. And then they just go off, like, trying to name new franchises like Ryan's buffet. Like, might as well go with Kevin's buffet also or something. Well, Ryan's was an acquisition. So Ryan's already existed.

And then I believe that like when old, when hometown buffet closed, so did all locations of Ryan's and old, uh, old country. So I think it was the entire parent company ended up closing. Mm-hmm. Yeah. This is like studio film drama, you know, like with Turnabout and D. Disney. Yeah. Oh, you don't even know the half of it, brother. Wow. Didn't realize, I don't know, this much drama happened with buffets. The buffet cinematic universe. Yeah. Yeah. Hometown Buffet's parent company became trapped in a cycle of financial distress, filing for

Chapter 11 bankruptcy four times in 2008, 2012, 2016, and finally, 2021. Each bankruptcy was driven by mounting debt and falling sales, and each reorganization led to waves of restaurant closures, dozens of locations at a time were shut down to cut losses. A costly food poisoning lawsuit also hurt the company's finances. A 2010 salmonella outbreak led to an $11 million legal judgment that was cited among the factors for the 2016 bankruptcy filing. Even after shedding hundreds of locations over the years, the company could not stabilize its finances amid a declining buffet market.

That's just a really sad streak of history for them. At some point, it feels irresponsible for bankruptcies. It shows that they were passionate, though, about keeping it going. Okay. Yeah. I mean, I understand 2021 was a rough time and people, like, getting to actually experience buffets became a lot less common. It's not even just that it became less common.

I think as we became much more germ conscious during the pandemic, the notion of a buffet, even post-pandemic, kind of became a little gross. Like the, like, public sharing spoons and, like, yeah, how open. and everything is. Just make sure you bring gloves every time. And yeah. But like even then you want an effective sneeze guard. You want to feel like the trays are being cycled out quickly enough.

And sometimes stuff sits out for a while. So it's just like, yeah, pre-pandemic. I think a buffet sounded enticing to me. Post-pandemic, mentally I can't get myself there. I can't get excited over the notion of a buffet. I can't get hard for a buffet. Yeah, only in Vegas. maybe. Only in Vegas, baby. Yeah, you can

But I won't finish that train of thought. I'm the Pope. But yeah, it's also sad to hear about the food poisoning incident because it's like it shouldn't happen to anyone who's trying to like experience all the varieties of food. I mean like it makes sense for your mind. You're making it sound like all these people going to the buffets are like these innocent bystanders that just like deserve good things. But really, they're giving hometown buffet a shot. They're rolling their dice. They, you should sign a waiver on the way in. Yeah. I mean, now that we've gone, I've, I've, I've been punished for my mistakes. I've done my time. I've paid my debt to society. Yeah, it's definitely gave me a different outlook on buffets after going there that one day. I mean,

I've definitely, I still go to buffets, you know, like, yeah, Chinese buffets more commonly. But. Yeah. Seeing the light still exists in buffet land. I don't know. It's hard to, I don't know how to describe that. Sorry. The light snuffed out behind the eyes of hometown buffet that one time you went, you were just like, buffets have lost their glow to me.

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. That's funny. Throughout its history, hometown buffet weathered several controversies beyond its balance sheet. In 2016, the company abruptly closed 74 underperforming restaurants with no advance notice. Employees showed up to work to find the doors locked, prompting a California state investigation for violating mass layoff notice laws. The buffet group also dealt with food safety scares, most notably the 2010 incident in which diners fell ill from Salmonella.

The resulting lawsuit ended in an $11.4 million judgment against the company. during the COVID-19 pandemic, hometown buffet faced employee outrage when it rescinded paychecks for workers at temporarily closed locations, a move that led to public protests by staff in 2020 demanding their lost wages. That's crazy to me.

Like to withdraw a wait, like they've paid them and they are withdrawing them? Yeah, that's insane. I mean, it seems pretty corrupt. Can you imagine if an employer did that? No, I mean, not at all. I mean, I would just be a pissed off buffet employee. Yeah.

It's just, yeah, it's sad to see. Like if your boss was like, hey, that last paycheck, do you have auto deposit? Yeah. Yeah, auto deposit. Imagine if they just like, we're like, hey, we're taking that back. Yeah, I mean, through you. I would definitely protest right away. Yeah.

And definitely get a lawyer or something. But then you don't have the money to do it. They took it. They took the money. I don't know your financial situation. You may be swimming in like Scrooge McDon't. duck savings or something. Not at all.

A pool of gold coins. No. You dive into in the morning. I don't know. But yeah, rightfully so, those incidents tarnished the chain's reputation in its final years. The COVID-19 pandemic dealt a fatal blow to hometown buffet and the buffet restaurant model in general.

In March 2020, government lockdowns forced the closure of all hometown buffet locations and the nature of buffets, communal food stations and self-serve utensils touched by many made it nearly impossible to operate under public health restrictions. While other restaurants pivoted to takeout and delivery, buffets struggled to adapt, and hometown buffet never reopened its doors after the initial lockdown. By early 2021, all remaining hometown buffet restaurants were permanently shuttered as its parent company entered one last bankruptcy amid the pandemic's fallout. COVID-19 effectively ended the era of large-scale self-serve buffets,

wiping out hometown buffet along with similar chains nationwide. Well, I kind of saw it coming. Yeah, I think I think we all did. I'm just bummed that like a bunch of diners I like closed because like diners don't, they're not buffets like they are able to pivot, but there is still such an in person draw to a diner. Whereas like chains take out makes sense. Yeah.

And like those diners that had more charisma and everything, but hometown buffet was just like a stale piece of. You can't cuss on here right You can't cuss You can go ahead No no look into that camera Say what you really want to say I hometown was a still piece of shit

I mean yeah It's just like it didn't have that That feel of wanting to go back And like I don't know I can tell I hope there was no one else That was just like Oh I'm so sad that it's closing There were

There were like yeah I literally saw that There was a tweet that went viral Of like life doesn't feel the same Without hometown buffet and I'm like, bro, you need to try new places, like expand your horizons. If hometown is, uh, yeah, I understand if maybe you grew up with hometown buffet as a kid, um, and just having that emotional childhood pull to it, but, but I don't know.

Yeah, I know we went as grown adults like fresh out of college. Yeah. And, and it was just like very, yeah, upsetting. I don't know. Yeah. We'll get that. We'll get into it. Mm-hmm.

In the aftermath of bankruptcy, hometown buffet's intellectual property and brand assets were auctioned off but found an unlikely savior. Barbecue Holdings, the parent company of famous Dave's barbecue, won a 2021 bankruptcy auction to acquire the rights to hometown buffet, old country buffet, and Ryan's, and the other sister brands, along with a small steakhouse chain. The sale, however, was more about the value of the brand names than any intention to revive them. Barbecue Holdings CEO stated that they had no immediate plans to reopen any of the buffet restaurant, treating hometown buffet and its siblings as dormant IP acquired as part of the deal. That's where it starts to feel like MCU kind of stuff, where it's like, oh, we bought the rights to

hometown buffet. We're going to fold it into the existing famous Dave's universe someday in the future or something. I'm not really into business or anything like that, but yeah, I don't. It's weird that they can, like, just jump on the name. That's all they bought. There's no place like hometown. I don't really know. Is that their new slogan maybe?

Well, they're not doing anything with it. They don't have a new slogan, but I argue that they should throw that in the mix. I mean, I'm just trying to help them out. They see this. They need it. Yeah. They do need it. The rise and fall of hometown buffet has become a cautionary tale in the restaurant industry.

At its peak, the chain exemplified the allure of the all you can eat format, an affordable indulgence that grew popular during economic booms. but its downfall mirrored a broader shift in consumer preferences. As American diet started trending towards fresh, fast casual dining in the 2000s, the buffet concept began to feel outdated and overindulgent. Hometown Buffet's parent company also overextended itself with debt-fueled expansion, leaving it extremely vulnerable to any downturn. In the end, a combination of thin margins, changing cultural tides,

and failure to adapt sealed the fate of hometown buffet. as well as it's terrible food. Yeah, it's just funny that they were worried about it being overindulgent, but like literally that's what it's a phase by nature are. Yeah, yeah, especially that place when you walk in, it's like you're about to overindulge on. Yeah. You're just, you're about to feel full. Yeah, which if that's why you're going out to eat is to feel full, great. But if you have no standard, hometown is a place for you.

if you do have a standard, at some point, it's just like, I don't know. I think the reason I hated this restaurant so much is because I think this was the first meal I ever had where I started to realize that maybe quality matters too. Wow, you're just hitting that point of adulthood, maybe. Yeah, I mean, because I would have been what, like 25 or something when we went. So transitioning from our old college foods. that we were just comfortable with. But I mean, I still love a lot of fast food play.

I mean, I wouldn't have done a podcast like this if I didn't love going to fast food places. It's such a mixed bag doing this show where it's like I'm scoring places that I do genuinely like in like the fours, five, and sixes, mostly because to me four to six is average. And there's nothing wrong with being an average dining experience. Yeah. And also to put them all on the same scale, I have to factor in service ambiance, stuff like that. and the experience of eating at a, what's a good example here, the experience of eating at a Wendy's going into the dining room. It's not like fancy.

It's not a nice dining experience, but I do genuinely like the food. So it scores like a five something. It's above average. But, you know, I'm kind of calling a spade a spade. And yeah. I was just going to add on, I think branding has a lot to do with it too. Like going into a Wendy's, you're, you're kind of consumed by the brand and the image of it. And you see like the picture of Wendy on the wall.

And you just know their colors too. But like hometown, you walk in and it's like just, it's like the cafeteria. I already said this joke earlier, but it's like the cafeteria of like a nursing home in a way. I don't know. It's just like very dull. And you're not. By the way, that wasn't a joke. I know.

I said that was a comparison. I said prison earlier. But I mean, yeah. I'm just saying like it. It's not a joke. Like it's a harsh way to put it. And I think you are doing it for comedic intention. But that does not mean it's wrong.

Anyways, we're getting ahead of, uh, of ourselves. We're talking about the place. Uh, we are done with the eat deeds. So that'll do it for this week's eat deeds. Trey, I hope you were listening to all of those eat deeds, all the things that make a restaurant. Uh, I mean, not in hometown's case, but succeed. Definitely learned a lot of things today. To bring something to life.

Because now it is your turn to pitch me a restaurant of your very own. I usually do a little theme song that we sing to intro this segment. Do it in the style of the Monster Mash. This is the restaurant of your dreams. You're going to be satisfied after you leave. This is the perfect segment for Halloween. This is the restaurant of your dreams. Oh, you crushed it.

All right. So all I need is for you to tell me some place that no one will ever forget. The most memorable, amazing, perfect restaurant that you could put into the world that doesn't exist. It must be memorable. It must be practical. All right. It must be awesome. Three, two, one, go.

Okay, this place is going to be called Good Eats and Beats. Okay, good eats and beats And the first thing When you walk in There's going to be A frozen Margarita Bar On your left side Which will be the waiting room

For your table to get called And featured in this waiting room Slash Margarita Bar There's a DJ who plays All these remixes of like Really good Millennial old school songs Like from Black Eyed Peas

Just Black Eyed Peas No No, there's got to be more. It's all black eyed piece. I had a list. No, like some of the heart-filled songs from back then, like, uh, Bitter Sweet Symphony, the verb, like a remix to that.

Okay, okay. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Uh, maybe some Britney Spears remixes. Okay. Just classic songs like that from the 2010s. Some toxic. And yeah, and at the top of every hour, there's a dance competition.

Up the 20 people can sign up at the top of every hour to just have a 30-second time frame to pull off their best dance moves. Yeah. And the DJ gets the judge who's the best dancer after everyone goes. And whoever wins the competition gets like a buy one, get one half off deal. Wow. Buy one entree. They don't even get a free meal.

They win a dance contest and you're like, you still have to buy one and then you still have to buy half of another one. That is so funny. You want your profit margins high. Yeah, I mean, we're going to have a lot of different types of food. I mean, we're going to have New York style pizza. mixed with a really good sushi and mixed with some classic text mix. Like think like chewy style from Texas. Yeah, yeah.

But it'll have its own flavor. I mean, its own spin on it. But it'll all, just the menu will be like a trifecta of those three. Okay. Okay. I'm here for it. Yeah, I just want to be a fun vibe when you walk in. And like, I just want to be targeted towards millennials slash older people,

just like who can reminisce on the old music and the remixes and just have a good time dancing while you're waiting for your food. Because, I mean, you can. dance on an empty stomach. Come on. You probably should dance on an empty stomach more than a full one. Exactly. Yeah. Especially the way I dance. I will work myself up a little bit too

much and then I'll be like, well, I expended myself. Oh yeah, you're really good at the worm too. Like, I've seen you. Have you? Have I ever done a worm? I thought so. It seems like a thing I would do like in like I will throw my body into harm's way

for glory. which is exactly what the worm is. But I think it's been way too long since I've been light enough to attempt slamming my body on the ground. I mean, thank you for the current. You had good flow at it. I mean, like, yeah.

Thank you so much. I don't remember it, but I want to believe you to have this legendary image of myself. I still have it. Awesome. Well, eats and beats. I guess it's called good eats and beats. Oh, good eats and bits.

I like that. You're setting an expectation. Yes. quality. It's not just eats and beats. They're good. It's going to be good food. That's a, that's a promise that hometown couldn't make. So, one more time, just that last line of the theme song with me. This is the restaurant of your dreams. Crushed it. I almost forgot what the line was, and I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw you faking it until you made it. Let us actually jump into reviewing this place. Usually I do everything that was good, everything that was not good, and

everything that was just there. But based on what we remember from 11 years ago, there's no good, there is no just there. To me, it was not good. So we're going to jump in and talk about the not good. just to not so good I'm not what you're about It's something brings down the moon Not Just to start off

That day was a Sunday morning Yeah And I was hit early that day With the Sunday Scaries I don't know What the Sunday Scaries You really need to know Like

What are the Sunday Scaries It's It's where you're just Kind of like You're not looking forward To the week ahead And because Monday's coming up Like right around the corner

And you're just starting to worry about like your boss the next day or like stuff you have to do. And I just had that tint of Sunday scary darkness already that morning. And that combined with walking into a place that was already just dull, like, no charisma. And I was just like, oh, yeah, this is definitely a Sunday scary meal. Let's, yeah, let's paint a picture.

So the building outside feels, uh, corporate's not the right word, but it does feel a little flavorless, I guess. And it's very drab. You said it had like the red tint. Yes. Not quite a Pizza Hut roof or anything like that, but just like it was almost like a pinkish roof because it used to be red. Yeah. It just felt like sun faded. Yeah.

Like looking at it, it looks like a restaurant that's just in the middle of nowhere in a small town. But you're actually in like the lively Burbank Empire Center. Right. So it just really was like off putting to see it. And it was like right next to an outback and Olive Garden. And both of those are still popping off to this day. So like, yeah, it was just, it looked like it was just, and their shadow kind of when we were there. Yeah.

And in a way to where it just never felt like I should go that direction. Like they're on two sides of the same parking lot. Right. And the hometown buffet, if we're talking marketing, never looked enticing. They didn't do a lot of signage outside, which is kind of tacky. A lot of fast food restaurants do it. Almost looked like a DMB outside. Like, yes, that's actually a really good comparison.

Because like the windows just fully tinted black and usually a place might put like, here are our deals on like posters on the window or something like that. It is a fast food move. You know, Outback's not doing it, but Outback doesn't need to do it. They're from Down Under. Down Under. Give me a down under. Down under.

Crike. Dude, that was great. Give me a, what sound does a donkey make? That was not the sound of donkey make. That's a horse. Donkeys. I haven't heard as... Oh, you're right.

Yeah. Hey, y'all. That's what donkeys do. Okay. Also, I mean, I wanted to add to because of just like the unpleasant setting of it. Yeah. Like, I know around the area in Burbank we're near like the Verdugo Mountains where those really nice homes are. I just imagine really old, retired well-off elderly people that just leave.

love going there because it's so calm and not crowded and it's just like get my food i've seen pictures on yelp that did look very crowded our experience was not okay so we walk into this dmv like building and i'm going to add i'm pissed off at you what because not right now but at like that day yeah because i had like two or three hours of sleep i was so sleep deprived i was very tired and you suggested this place and you're like breakfast buffet and I was like okay I'll do a breakfast buffet with you and then as I experienced it all I could think about is how sleep and just not being conscious would have been so much better than what I had to be conscious for and that was again a labyrinth of buffet setups but like I think in my mind I've compartmentalized just like one buffet station of like four things. Yeah. And that's still not what it was.

But I think my brain in an effort to protect me has blocked out what a lot of this restaurant looked like to me. Wow. It's like almost PTSD. It's just, yeah. That's insane. I mean, I do remember a little more detail, maybe. Yeah.

But I do understand feeling fatigued and like not wanting to make that many trips up and down from your table. Yeah. since we're not having, you know, food served to us. Yeah, yeah. But, yeah, one of the things I do remember is getting sushi. And sushi is, like, a rare thing to get up a face, I feel like. Do you remember any specifics about the sushi before you move past the sushi?

I think it was just a, it was definitely just a standard California rule. Do you remember it was good? It can't have been. There's no way. No, it definitely felt like it was sushi just was sitting out for a while, obviously. And, yeah, it wasn't good at all, but. What a risk. Yeah.

But it just felt enticing because I think I was also, you know, I was really poor. And I just thought like, wow, all the sushi in the world is right at my fingertips right now. And for breakfast. It was like 11 a.m. right? I think it was like 10. I think it was like 10. Yeah. I'm not a big breakfast person though when it comes to.

If there's a place that offers like not just breakfast food, I might just get like a lunch item in the morning. Interesting. Yeah. I am like, I'll go to a place that offers dinner food and I'm like, oh, you have breakfast all day and I'll get a breakfast item. I love breakfast food. But yeah, it's kind of like I recently did Golden Corral. And it's a similar setup to that where you walk in and you buy your plate. The plates were all scratched up.

They were white, but they had stains on them, like patches of gray, patches of like a faded brown. Like, yeah, sure, they've run it under a steamer and they've tried. but like it's not thorough. Like I don't think there's bacteria on it necessarily. I hope not. But I don't think that they're definitely no like nine-year-old snot stains. That would be terrible. That would be terrible.

I would ask for another plate. Yeah. I just imagine all these kids growing up there, though. And they just use the same plates over and over, you know, throughout the years. And I have. Yes, they come in and they're like, this is Miles's plate. and just little miles is like people carve their initials growing up it's like it's like carving on a toilet seat i don't know why people do it but people graffiti

the crazy well yeah toilet seats for those i mean yeah like those plates were like toilet seats in a way yeah i don't think you're i don't think you're off base with that i think i remember the employee interaction being friendly enough i didn't like yeah that nothing stuck out as like terrible service to me necessarily right but it was so not a part of the experience. It was No, exactly. Yeah. And I feel like when you walked in, you just couldn't hear a pen drop. Like it was just

so calm. There were maybe two families in there. If that. And it was maybe, I think it was just one person standing near the front door. The greeting people when you walk in. And it's just like, oh, like welcome. But like they weren't like charismatic either. They are like, I don't

just don't really remember them. Sure. I mean, it was also 11 years ago. That's like asking someone like, hey, can you described the Walmart grader you had 11 years ago. You're like, you won't be able to. I guess, but it just shows that they weren't interesting at all.

Although we do remember details of service staff at other restaurants we've went to. I'll never forget you and I when we were in college, we went to a Chinese restaurant called Chinatown in Austin, Texas. And, uh, there was this woman who came to refill your drink and just lacked the motor skills to find your cup and just straight up poured one out for the home. right on the table and just went, oh, my foo.

I'm like, yeah, were you saying my fault? I don't know what she was trying to say, but she said my foo. It was very exaggerated, though. It was like, my foo. Yeah, she really held it. It made us like look up at her. And I, well, you should do that to serve her anyway. Well, yeah, I know.

I mean, if they're pouring water on our food, then yeah, I'll definitely look up anyways. But just like a water, a torrent of, anyways, that's not the point of this. She had a good vibe, though. She did have a good vibe. Yeah. So we're at hometown and I don't remember them really staying on top of busing our table. I do feel like I remember a lot of pile up. Yeah.

I think we were like stacking the plates like maybe at a table right by us. That was connected. Yes. We were just, we were just straight up putting them on the table next to us because it was like, well, we don't have room at our table. Exactly. And for a buffet to be empty, a breakfast. buffet to be empty on a Sunday morning is the biggest red flag imaginable. I mean, everyone's at your place.

They're at church praying it up. I forgot that I looked like the Pope for a second. I was like, where's this going? I was like, oh, wait, I am the Pope. Pope's definitely not at a buffet that early on a Sunday. I bet he. I mean, maybe Chicago Pope. Chicago Pope is absolutely at a buffet.

Like deep dish buffet? Yes. He's even now. at Gino's. He's eating at Portillo's, the Chicago chains I've done on the show. He's eating every look, this guy, he's Chicago to decor. Oh, look him up. Pope Leo. Yeah, look up Pope Leo. See what you can find about him. Um, so yeah, stuff's piling up. Look, all right, I'm just going to come out and say, I have talked about how bad restaurant experiences hinge so much on all three things being bad, atmosphere, service, and food. I will say, service.

negligible. I wouldn't call it the worst service I've ever had. It was very forgettable, but plates were piling up. So it's not like terrible service made this score so low. The ambiance, a little bit sad, but because it was so empty, it wasn't like this place was filthy or anything like that. I don't necessarily remember that. You pointed out to me that like we were trying very hard to not make a mess at the buffet stations. Yeah, I felt like we respect utensils. Yes, like we came in like we were just really, I feel like we, we always stayed out of trouble growing up. And we were very orderly. Yeah. And remember when you threw rocks at my window? Yes, but there was a reason for that. I overslept for a film shoot of a show we were doing in college. And it was like one of the most important shoot days of the of the whole schedule.

And with utmost determination, Trey kind of broke into my parents' house. He like was ringing the door while I wasn't answering. He was calling me. I wasn't answering. He went around back and was like throwing pebbles up at my bedroom window, didn't work. He then talked to my neighbor across the street and was like, hey, here's the situation. And she had a spare key and got into it. Like, it was unreal to wake up looking up at you.

And I'm like, like, knowing you didn't spend the night there. I'm like, how? How did you get? Also, this was like during South by Southwest and Austin. Crazy. Yeah, big music festival. You happen to get like at least five rappers. that were performing at South Bife to be in this episode

and they were waiting on you to like pick them. I ended up there on time. I just didn't have all the prep time that I wanted. But I just wanted to let them know about the stakes of the situation. Yes. Yeah. No, there were like, it was like seven performers that like I am big fans of were in my college TV show.

Yeah. I was like able to film something at their show. Yeah. And and, and they were graciously giving me that time. It's very important. And if I like, one,

if I didn't show up, they would have just gotten to do their show without it. So it's like, It wouldn't have been the worst thing. They would have brushed us off like, yeah. But I would have felt terrible. I'm really glad I found pebbles, though. Like, oh my God.

Like, pebbles had actually worked. That worked. Well, they technically didn't. Yeah, but they didn't smash the window. Yeah, exactly. I was hoping that wouldn't happen. But I mean, I do want to tell one other story from that time. This time, you actually did spend the night at my house.

And you slept on the couch. And my father walked into the, this will, I'll never forget this. No matter how many years go by. Look into that camera and you tell people what happened. Yeah, so I stayed the night at Michael's Place one night. I slept in his very fine game room. It was very comfortable, really nice couch. And it was a, I don't know, I had a great night's sleep for a sleepover.

You know, it's pretty rare. But I woke up. I woke up only because I heard a small, like, a creak in the door of someone coming in. I saw like a dark figure walking towards me. And he just, it was just older. male and I just realized, oh, it's, it's Michael's dad. And I thought he was just coming in to say hi. But he just kept getting closer and closer.

And then he started to lean in. And I was like, this isn't something that he would normally do. And he gave me a little peck in the cheek. And this is how it went. It had to be forehead. There's no way. My dad is not a cheek kissing. Sorry, I got nervous on camera and I said the story wrong.

I do remember. I do remember it was a forehead kiss and there was some into it it like there was a little bit of saliva A little chutzpah Yeah and it was barely

The way he landed the kiss like Was perfect because he ended it with I'll just reenact it I love you son And then You make it sound so Like seductive And I doubt

that that was the vibe. Okay, it was a little more, it was faster than that. It was like a proud dad. It was showing affection. And by the way, that's the only time he's ever said I love you in my life was to you. Oh, no way. No, no. Oh my God.

My dad has always been very. But, yeah, his kind and affectionate to me. Yeah, but after he did the kiss, I just like looked up at him and like seeing his eyes widened as he realized that's not my boy. It's funny because all he said was like, oh, sorry. And that's like, he, he didn't say anything else and just like, well, what else is there to say? Yeah, it was just like a scurried, you walk of shame out of the room. But I was just like, kind of didn't know how to react.

I mean, and then you just told me about it later in like the, the, just the calmest way. Like, hey, your dad kissed me earlier. Oh, I love that story. I don't know, but I felt like I became part of your family that morning. You did. You did. Yeah, I never will look at your dad the same after that. But for the right reasons.

Hey. Okay. So our actual food at hometown buffet, I know I got breakfast food. You know you got sushi. The thing that I remember was all the textures were wrong on my food. I want to say I got fried chicken and waffles because I had like just discovered chicken and waffles. And they didn't have it like collectively as a dish put together. But they had the components separately.

So I was like, oh, I'll get a waffle. I'll go get fried chicken. Boom. I have I have chicken and waffles. textures were wrong waffles what texture are they supposed to be uh flaky

flaky like a croissant yeah or not hard I don't know I'm like really bad describing textures but hmm like a pastry type feel but like soft soft but not hard

crispy right yeah crispy crispy yeah it's worse I thought this was a layup I thought you would just be like crispy um yeah, it was like soggy.

It was like wet. It was like a wet waffle. And I'm just like, I don't know why. Those are this type of waffles that I normally make at home are just like soggy by accident. So I guess so it's probably defrosted. And then like the water like icicles stay on it and then you warm it up or whatever. But like I don't think that's how they did it there. So I don't I don't know how they accomplished soggy. And then the chicken you expect tender.

It was tough. And I'm just like, okay, what's going on? Both of these are wrong. Both of these are not what they need to be. But also, you didn't have a voice in the back of your head that was saying, this is just a cheap buffet. This is just a cheap buffet. Don't judge it too hard. Don't judge it too hard.

Well, no, it's just like, this was the thing that made me start judging my food. Like, genuinely, I was value driven before that. And then I went there and I was like, oh, at some point there is a tradeoff. Yeah. And it just wasn't there. It just was. Yeah. And so I remember having terrible waffles.

I remember having terrible chicken. I remember the chicken being way too salty. I remember getting hash browns. And they were almost like McDonald's like hash browns, if I remember correctly, where they were like kind of a little self-contained potato oval or whatever. And I remember only tasting salt. I also remember everything on my dish was brown. Do you remember like the favorite part of your dish if you had to pick?

There was no favorite part. There was none that just like appealed a little more than the rest. No. Okay. I remember seeing. stains on my cup and like for the fountain drink or whatever. I think I got orange juice actually, but like I remember there being a stain on the cup has character to it. No, no. I'm not trying to like, you know, defend it. I feel like you are. I feel like you're like, oh, you know, I just wanted

a little hometown. No, screw you. You're wrong. Your opinions are bad. Just their dishwasher was bad. And yeah, I just, I really hated it. Overall, the food. Those are the three things that I like distinctly remember where the chicken and waffles and hash browns. knowing myself, I probably got bacon. No. I do remember. I got bacon and sausage. The sausage tasted weird.

That was what I remember feeling. Was it like rubber? Like off. No, it wasn't a texture thing. It was like a taste thing. I was just like, this taste, just weird. Like, I can't believe it's not sausage. Like, I could believe that it was not sausage.

Yeah. I mean, it could have been vegetarian. It's Burbank. Who knows? And then the bacon, I remember just being like too tough and not like. Like in a crispy, like, all the textures are wrong. Whatever their food prep style was, change it. Well, I mean, it's dead now.

But if famous daves, if you ever revive hometown buffet, do it different, you know? Yeah. And now that you're bringing up all these different items there, like, I do remember, I think I got chicken fried steak with brown gravy. And I am like a sauce person. So I did put a lot of gravy on it. And I think that helped a little bit. It was like batter heavy.

But yeah, not as much meat compared to batter. Like the proportion was a little off. Yeah. So it was very like that comfort was hitting. That comfort food level was hitting, I guess. Yeah. Okay. And then ice cream,

which I saw pictures of their ice cream and even that somehow looked not right. I don't know. Yeah. It's like the squirrely like soft serve kind of thing. Mm-hmm. But like, I don't know. It felt like I had a sheen over it just based on the pictures I saw.

I don't know. I mean, ice cream is ice cream, though, when it comes down to it sometimes. I've had some, I didn't have any of this ice cream, but I have had some very bad ice cream before. Yeah, and then decor-wise, I noticed a picture in Yelp. They had a big spice, like hot sauce station called Spice World. Yeah, that's interesting. I mean, named after the Spice Girls movie. But the Spice World Station sounds like, ooh, like what is that?

I think you know what it is. I think it's self-explanatory. I think it literally tells you what it is. I guess, but it just puts it in a world, though. Is there anything else about the meal you remember? I know that for the food. I'm going two thumbs down. I hated the food.

I hated the taste of everything. I hated the texture of everything. I got mad at it. I'm sure I talked to you on the way home, but I did feel different about you. Um, it's like, oh, maybe we should end our lease sooner. Gosh. Uh, and then I was in that place for 11 years.

So, uh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, I love that we at least tried it, though. I don't. I don't mean, but I mean, hey, I'm getting content out of it 14 years later. So I guess that's something. But screw you hometown buffet. You're not just the worst meal I've ever had.

You're also the worst meal that, uh, my Jack in the Box guest, Honey Butter Popcorn from Ragmop and Goose. also gave it a zero out of 10 when I asked him, what's the worst trashdum he's ever been to? Wow. So it's not just me. It's a lot of people. Oh, and one more thing I want to mention before we move on from the segment of talking about the things that we remember that weren't good.

I want to talk about the sneeze guards. You know what a sneeze guard is, right? I've never heard of a sneeze guard. It's like the piece of glass in between you and the food so that if someone sneezed, it doesn't go onto the food, right? I've seen this like in cop cars like, you know, with the glass between the feet. Yeah, he's spending a lot of time. getting picked up by police.

I mean, I'll watch cops a lot. Do you? I mean, no, but. But seeing a wall of glass, I mean, just reminds you of that. But, like, at a buffet, I want that for sure. I want to feel like my food's not getting sneezed on. I don't want to expose to the elements. You know, I wish everything was in like a cloche and you like pick up, you know, you lift it up and you can see what's in.

And you're like, oh, I want some of that. Or like, you know, a lot of really nice. nice buffets like you'll have like a big thing of eggs but it's in a container that you have to like slide you know what i'm talking yeah that's very bougie it's it's bougie but it but it's also like health conscious like from a germ transmission standpoint those containers i think are actually very effective the trade off there is like especially at a place like hometown people are going to be wondering mindlessly as opposed to being able to be like oh i can see across the room the dish that i want Because if everything's concealed, you just don't have that identifying factor.

Be a lot of lifting up, just, yeah, checking nonstop. Like, what is this? Yeah, but the sneeze guards were too high. Like, that's the, that's the thing. For taller people, maybe? For kids are the sneeziest people. Why are we, why are we protecting against, like, our tall kings out there when, like, most normal people aren't that tall?

Lower your sneeze guards to actual sneeze height. Like, I just, if I can reach under and grab the food, that's enough. I don't need like a full. Yeah, you have to like jump up to sneeze if you have to sneeze. It'd be hard to do by jumping and sneeze at the same time. I interpreted that wrong. You meant if I was going to sneeze, I would need to jump up to be tall enough to be blocked. What I thought you meant was as a tall person, you're like, if I really want to sneeze on the food, I have to jump up. Like I have to sneeze over it. No, no, no. I get what you mean. But yeah, so to me it just felt like, what's the point?

What are we doing this for appearances? It seemed like, yeah, they must have been. So it's just another element of hometown where I'm just like, this is stupid. This is dumb. I don't like it. Anyways, that's all of my opinions and memories. Again, it was a meal 11 years ago. I don't really have a ton to go off of other than vibes of like, I know I walked out of

their hating it. I know I walked out of their chains. forever in how I evaluate my food and respect myself. Like, I literally came out of there being like, you really got to do more for you. Yeah, I'm sorry that it just, it sounds like it really made you a worse person leaving the place. No, I think it bettered me.

It, like, strengthened me, but it was, it was. Or it made you feel a whole lot worse. It was the lowest point in my life. That's not true. But it was my, it was the low point of my, culinary life for sure. Anyways, so that's everything, right? Yeah.

I mean, like I said earlier, it didn't lift me up from the Sunday Scaries that morning. I stayed in it. You and your Sunday Scaries. Yeah. It's just like a grayness every time I think of it. I just see like a gray overcast cloud over it and just darkness. Our whole food array was gray and brown. It was like nothing had vibrant colors to it from what I remember.

I remember thinking the fruit looked mushy. So I'm like, I'm not going to get fruit, which would have colored up my plate a little bit. But like, you know, especially when I'm getting a waffle, like, I want, I want those like strawberries or bananas or something on it. And I didn't trust it. And I feel like most buffet places have really good jello. Well, it's good because it's just there. Yeah. But I don't really remember having jello there.

And I normally do it buffets. So I don't know if they had it or it just wasn't good at all. I mean, it just the reddest. The reddest flag of them. mall. Yeah. All right. Well, that's everything we can remember. We need to christen the Chotchky with

the score of this place. But before we do, I want to turn to Yelp and hear more about what other people thought about this. Am I, am I a grump here? No. I don't think so. We're going to jump into this week's Yelp from strangers. We need a little Yelp,

A little Yelp. A little Yelp from strangers. One start to Star 3 star 4 or 5 yi So get a little Yelp Rangers A little help, a little help Give us those complaints while you literally

All right, this is Yelp from Strangers Our segment where we turn to Yelp and read out our favorite reviews Normally our favorite 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5 star reviews But in the spirit of this episode, I'm going to read out my favorite 1, 1, 1, and 1 star reviews. That's right. this week is all one star reviews.

Do you mind if I start with the first one? Knock yourself out. One star review. This is a one star review from Cassandra L from San Gabriel, California on November 1st, 2017. Nasty. I mean, it sounds like the opening to like a really cool rap song. Nasty. Then you bust it down.

You bust it down. I don't know. I feel like nasty and busted down belong in the same song, you know, like the lyrics. Anyways. Can I hear that? I don't know. I want to hear that song. I want to hear that song. Nasty. Nasty. Hometown is so nasty. Gets me all riled up. Makes me want to give up life easy. Doesn't make no sense. Can't really rhyme. Wish I had something else to say, but that's my time. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry that I butchered that one. I thought you had a hit. Yeah. Nasty. The food is horrendous and the manager a nightmare. details at the end in parentheses. I normally don't write reviews, but this place was so exceptionally awful that I wouldn't

want anyone else to have to waste their money here. Very generous. I wanted to bring some friends to eat here later on in the week, so I decided to try out this place on my own for lunch before doing so. Thank goodness I tried it first, because I never would have imagined it would be this bad. That friend was really looking out for their own. other friends though. Like that, I don't know.

And the fact that they went to a buffet alone, that is crazy. Going to a buffet alone is crazy. But I actually really respect this individual because they recognize the importance of a food reputation. When you're the type of person who goes to a lot of restaurants and you recommend a place or bring people to a place, it better be good. Or else next time they're going to be like, let me pick. And I don't, I don't trust them. I don't know them. I'm the one who's from here.

I'm the one, you know. So by her vetting the place beforehand, I think it's responsible. Yeah. I mean, still, though, yeah, going to buffet alone, though, it takes a lot of. I don't know. Yeah, huspa, I don't know. Yeah, you just say you're there for, you know, you usually go in a social setting so you can get as much food as you want and stay as long as you want.

Yeah. And the conversations are flowing. But yeah, hometown, complete opposite. So the food is either tasteless or drenched in salt and or sugar. and looks like it has been sitting around for days. Probably hasn't, but the presentation is definitely awful. For some reason, most of the food either doesn't have labels or has incorrect labeling. There also aren't many options, which kind of defeats the purpose of a buffet.

I started off with the mac and cheese, which was honestly pretty good and also grabbed some mashed potatoes and meatloaf, although it was labeled shrimp scampy. Having shrimp scampy there, though, shows they were trying to be a little... Nah, they're punching above their weight class. I don't have any positive spin on this place. I'm sorry. I feel like you're trying to be like, oh, silver lining, silver lining. Yeah, I know.

I'm not letting it. It is comical that it was like completely mislabeled though. And it was meatloaf instead of. It was meatloaf, right, yeah. That's what she says, yeah. Unfortunately, after the mac and cheese, it was all downhill from there. The meatloaf and mashed potatoes may as well have been cardboard. Now skeptical, I got a very small portion of rice and some sort of meat in a

brown sauce. It had no label. So mystery meat? Upon sitting down, my server checked in with me and I said things were okay, seeing as the mac and cheese was decent. However, it turns out the rice and meat was even worse than the meatloaf and mashed potatoes. At this time, I tried to flag down my server to ask if anything can be done, but she was running from table to table too busy to notice me. Seeing that the entrees weren't edible, I made my way over to desserts, thinking that maybe I could at least have some decent fruit and jello to make my money worth it. Got some jello. But no, the fruit was sour and tasted old.

So I went for the soft serve ice cream since I saw someone else had written a positive review for it. Even the ice cream was unappetizing. Just see the photo attached. It's so hard to imagine like bad ice cream. I mean, personally, I just think it's just a gift to mankind. No, bad ice cream exists. It's definitely a thing. Like, because it's dairy.

Dairy can go bad. That's true. Yeah, but if it's like frozen already, then I don't really notice. I don't really notice. But like, it's not invincible. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if it was melted, I guess. On top of that, most of the plates look downright nasty.

Mine was turning gray, had scratches on it, and a huge red stain from something. I wish I could say it was just my one plate, but most of their plates are in the same condition. Preach, I recognized it. I couldn't take more than a bite or two of anything. Talk about killing an appetite. All right, and now there's an epilogue. I decided to bring up the problems with the staff up front before posting this review to see if anything could be done about my experience.

The majority of the staff was all right, and the hostess at the front was very gracious in apologizing for the quality of the food and offered me a full refund. Huh. Okay. We're not in one-star territory. I thought you're going to say the host offered them like unlimited something. I'm like, oh, that defeats the purpose.

Yeah. However, when she called over the manager to help with the refund, the manager was extremely rude. She asked when I came in and I said, I didn't remember. She then stated, you've been here for an hour. So you don't deserve a refund. What did you not like? Oh, that's rough. Crazy.

I do understand, though, if you're taking tiny bits of different scattered foods, like, you might have to, it might take an hour to figure it out. Exactly. Yeah, no, I think, especially. especially if you're doing like multiple trips, trying to find stuff that you like. Yeah. Like you won't get comfortable until after an hour at any buffet.

Yeah. I then explained to her that I spent time writing this review. And the food was awful, not to mention their lack of cleanliness and presentation, and showed her the photos that I took. She ignored the dirty plates, blamed the food presentation. Any food of meatloaf is going to look terrible no matter what.

Yeah, you cannot photograph meatloaf and catch it, like, looking good. No, it looks like it's a living. It's like, Who caught me sleeping. Yeah, it's just like, has a pulse, you know? I showed her the photos that I took. She ignored the dirty plates,

blamed the food presentation on their customer's children, and kept repeating that I do not deserve a refund because of the length of time I've been there. I informed her that I did try to flag down my server and my plates had food on them when taken away because the food was so horrible, I couldn't finish any of it. She said, you don't need a server at a buffet. and then kept repeating that I've been there for an hour and even went over to the dessert table.

I tried to explain that I was looking for something edible and had resorted to giving the desserts a try, which were also awful. And of course, it takes time for me to write this long AF review. I even showed her this review, and she just stated that she thinks they're doing pretty well just due to the fact that there is food on the tables. So if you put shit on the tables, you're doing great because there's shit on the tables. That's a fair point. No, it's not. I'm kidding. You're such an apology.

No, no, no, no. You know what? I'll get to you later. She even went as far as to say that sometimes their cooks don't show up for work. So she considers this a good day. Oh, my God. Why the fudge nugget would she even tell me that? It makes your staff sound horrible.

Finally, at the end of this tedious argument, I told her that I never expected any buffet to be this bad. She rolled her eyes and reluctantly gave me a full refund while repeatedly saying that I don't deserve it. And this isn't fair. Well, girl, if you still expect life to be fair, especially working in food service, then I would advise you to grow the hell up. Okay. Calm down. Well, I mean, the fact about stuff not showing up every day and, you know, the cooks at least.

Yeah. That kind of makes sense. But it's a management problem. Like, I don't know, hire better workers that are more reliable or incentivize people to be there more. Those are your two options. Yeah. I mean, that's why a lot of the dishes I felt like they weren't like fully, they weren't put together well, you know? Yeah.

The manager then asked for my full name and phone number. K. Why? And I asked for a copy of my receipt. I should have asked for her name and phone number as well so I can recommend her a place to get her eyebrows done properly. Teddy Wise out. It's getting mic drop. Oh, my God.

Yeah. Attacking the eyebrows. Yeah. The meat love must have been really bad. I mean, all of it sounded bad. Plus, like, I do think it's crazy to be like, you've been here an hour. You don't deserve a refund. And then when you finally pay out to be like, it's not fair.

Like, okay, don't be a baby about it. Calm down. Sometimes a meal sucks. Sometimes it takes getting to the end of the meal to know it sucks. Sometimes service is slow, especially at a buffet. So it's hard to, like, go up and get more stuff. Like your process is not a quick one. Calm down.

Yeah. I mean, jokes aside, I do feel like being an hour out of place and demanding a refund after you've tried all of their food. No, I'm, no, I'm on her side. I think we're requesting a refund of all of your food sucked. Even if you ate the food, like even if you actually consumed it, I think if it's terrible. Unless, like, if you're being dishonest and you're like, oh, I can say it was bad and get a refund, that's one thing. But like this review doesn't sound like someone who was scheming for a free meal. I don't know.

I feel like you need, you need like a more substantial reason. Like, you know, like a big piece of hair in the food or something just to. I don't agree. I think if I think if food quality isn't good, you can you can request a refund. One star review. All right. We got a review from Angel R. She's 30 years old from Los Angeles, California.

How are you getting 30 years old? It says it next to this little profile icon. I see 30. That's not her age. That's how many pictures she's uploaded to Yelp. Oh, wow. That's a photograph. All right.

She's an avid yelper. She might not be 30. I was like, how are you telling her age? This isn't a dating profile. I guess I'm like still used to seeing dating apps lately. Yeah. I just instantly think age. Then 234 is like her highest bowling score or something.

And then at the bottom that says no one under six feet. Exactly. Yeah, so November 14th, 2018. My mom's been trying to get me to come here for years. I always said no. She wore me down the day and I agreed. And oh, man, worst food I've ever had. It was dreadful.

Salty, stale, dirty. The white ice cream wasn't working. Her cake slice was hard as stone. That's wild. How was a cake hard? Oh, my God. A hard cake. How is that?

Like, I don't even know what ingredient you add too much of or too little of to get a hard cake. That's weird. Yeah. Or maybe someone who worked there also works in props and it's like just a fake cake. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a sponge. Yeah. Industry and turkey. Yeah. But yeah, chicken and tacos too salty. Yep. And the salad was awful. The leaves were withered and brown. How can you mess up a salad? Plates had scratches on them. Dota and water were good though. Yeah. One star for the cashier. She was extremely nice. why only one star if the cashier

was extremely nice, whatever. One star, the one star they gave is for the cashier being extremely nice is what they're saying. Okay,

okay. Like this place would be zero, but because they were nice, one star. I'd like to think she was trying to send us a SOS with her eyes to get us to leave.

Wow, very polite. I would have thankfully given her and the wage is $25 who wasted eating there or eating here instead. Anyways, I'm at the pharmacy now, grabbing some pepto and praying I don't get food poisoning.

It was that bad. I love the idea of like, I wish I would have just given the waiter $25 as opposed to I wish I would have avoided this place. Like, oh, yeah, let me just stop at hometown buffet, hand someone 25 bucks and leave and not eat there because she would have saved us from it. Like, I don't know.

Oh my gosh. I just like that she wrote it like while she was at the pharmacy too, getting pepto. I genuinely do believe that. that. Like that, it sounds like it could be a bit, but like, I think that is literally her being like, yeah, could she's just waiting and line the cashier, just typing it up. Yeah. Hey there, you know how we just did two Yelp reviews? You can get three more Yelp reviews and get a full segment with all one, two, three, four, and five star Yelps over at my Patreon. That's

Patreon. That's patreon.com slash fine dining podcast, but that's not all. I'm doing limited time offer exclusive tastings on my Patreon. I'm doing deleted scenes. I'm occasionally doing interviews, like with the composer of the podcast, James McAnnelly. And every single month on the last day of the month, I post an exclusive episode to Patreon covering a restaurant that I do not cover on the main feed. I kind of consider this my travel version of the podcast because I'm often able to hit ones while I'm on the road. I've done restaurants from New York, like Boston Market I covered when I was there. I have an episode coming out very soon on Ruby Tuesday.

I was so excited to find one of those in North Carolina. And for Thanksgiving this year, I will be covering the Popeye's Thanksgiving turkey that you can take home. So I'm very excited for you to hear all of this extra content. This is a fully listener-supported show. So if you want to head on over there to patreon.com, get your one-week free trial, check it out. See if it's right for you. No obligation. but your support is greatly appreciated.

Thanks so much for listening. Back to the episode. Okay, Trey, I've brought you on to discuss what I consider to be the worst meal of my life, the 0.00 out of 10 on the Chotchke of Mediocrity. People already know how it's going to score, but for the sake of positivity, I do want to ask you to tell me about the very best restaurant experience you've ever had, something you'd rate a 10 out of 10? It's not for calibrating, but we're going to.

to take a stop at the station. All right. You're 10 out of 10. The best restaurant experience you've ever had. What is it? I'll say grie gris and New Orleans. Cajun food? Yes, it's Cajun food, seafood.

It's like originally from Louisiana or New Orleans. I was born in Baton Rouge, but I also have family in New Orleans. Okay. Yeah, and I was there on vacation, visiting family. And there's this place called Magazine Street. Uh-huh. It's really popular in New Orleans. And this place, I mean, one of my favorite seafoods is oyster povoys.

And they had this povoy called like the oyster and caviar poboy. Sounds fancy. Yeah. And just like it was probably the best poboy ever had in my entire life. Yeah. And the environment of the place like was just very just great. I mean, is it upscale or is it more of like a. It was more casual.

Okay. But not upscale at all. And there was like a nice patio. and service is great, like very, that southern hospitality, like literally. Yeah. Like, nothing better than having great service at a seafood restaurant. I think it's really common in New Orleans. They just have great service overall.

The poboys were made with, like, some really nice crisp French bread, just like a perfect amount of batter versus the oyster ratio. Was it like a fried oyster? It was a fried oyster. Okay. Yeah. And like fried, it was like, yeah, it's hard to explain but like fried caviar, which is Okay.

Like some kind of Cajun cabri. I mean, you can fry anything, so. And yeah, the Povee was so big. It's basically like two sandwiches and one. So you definitely had like a good. You get that value too. Yeah. Was it expensive?

No, I would say it was around 15 for like a full meal. Did you just have the Poboy? Did you have sides? Yeah, I had, um, uh, seasoned Cajun fries. And yeah, just like a special seasoning that you don't really get anywhere except New Orleans. And hop eyes. Yeah. And everything just.

felt authentic because it's just literally like eating Cajun food in the heartland of Cajun country. Awesome. Well, that's a worthwhile 10. Usually I ask people to give me their zero as well here, but we're not here to calibrate. Whether or not you agree with me on if hometown buffet is the worst restaurant imaginable, I'm revoking your right to contribute to this score. And I'm doing that because you put me through this. You brought me to what I think. is the worst restaurant I've ever been to. It deserves the 0.00. I don't care if you agree.

It's clear that plenty of people on Yelp agree with me. And I feel like my opinion is reinforced enough to justify putting this thing on the Chochee of Mediocrity at a 0.00. So that's intense. Let's put it. Let's put it to the Chili's test. Is it the same scale? Is it the worst? Is it the best?

Let's put it to the Chili's test. No, hometown buffet is not better than Chili's. No way. We know the answer. And if I'm giving it my exact score, it is a 0.00. Humor me. Is yours a 0.00? It's not.

Okay. Yeah, then you're done. You're done here, buddy. All right. I'm just, yeah, I don't even need to hear your number. Come on. No, that's trash. I'm putting this thing up at a 0.00.

It was the distinct memory, though. that it created is what gives me above a zero. But anyways, I respect it. Are you saying that our friendship matters to you? Yeah, like, yeah. Is it over now? No, okay. Not at all.

But I just think it's funny that you're like, it's the company we keep. All of these ratings for me are not factoring in the company. To me, factoring in the company is just like, it's a variable that the restaurant made no plans for. So I'm, I'm judging what the restaurant

is putting forward. Right. Yeah, it did add zero value to our life. I understand that. Yes. Yeah.

So what this means, though, hometown buffet is definitively not as good as Chili. Not as good as Chili. Objectively not so good. Yeah, this does feel right to me.

Like I've, like I've said, food, atmosphere, and service are all components of this, but the food was so, bad and the reason you go to a restaurant is for the food, right? Unless you're going to a place with like gimmicky service, like a Dix Last Resort or Wiener's Circle or something like that where they're like playfully mean to you or if you're

going somewhere upscale to experience like really fancy service, like the reason you're going out to eat is for the food. Yes. Everything else is second. Well, honestly, there are places you go for the atmosphere as well. Like rainforest cafe, Chucky Cheese, if you want like games and stuff, Dave and Busters. So there is a validity to all of that.

But at its core, this is a restaurant. And a restaurant is for food. And they did food so badly that I feel it deserves its place at the bottom of the Chachky. Anyways, this was my... We can only go up from here, though. It can only get better from here. And it will because this was my season three finale. I'm not quite sure where I'm going to be going for the season four premiere.

but I do have a Patreon episode dropping in two days covering Ruby Tuesday. So head on over, get your free trial to hear that episode. I'm not sure what the podcast schedule will be throughout the holiday season. As personally, I need a little bit of time to recharge. I've done this show for three full years without taking any breaks. So I am going to skip a few weeks between here and the end of the year. I think what I'm going to do, My Patreon will still have its monthly episodes for November.

I'm going to be reviewing the Popeyes Thanksgiving turkey that you can literally get from Popeyes. I heard about this. And bring home and make. I wasn't able to go home last year for Thanksgiving. So I got this turkey and had a little Thanksgiving for myself a couple days after Thanksgiving. That'll be my November Patreon. So you can all finally hear that. I recorded it almost a year ago.

So it'll be nice to put it out. My plan for November and December is to record some Eat Dietz episodes for the first four restaurants of the podcast. That's Outback, Buffalo Wild Wings, Old Spaghetti Factory, and Islands because there wasn't any kind of history segment on the show during those episodes. And I think it might be fun as well to do Yelp from Strangers for some of the first 20 restaurants of the podcasts run as well because that segment didn't come along until a little bit later. So for some reason, those all just feel a little incomplete for my liking. Then most likely I will be launching season four properly in January. So thank you all for watching, following along with another season of the Fine Dining podcast. Trey, thank you so much for joining me for this.

I know I literally brought you here to yell at you, but it was all in good fun. No problem. Yeah, it's been a pleasure to be here. Genuinely, I do remember this meal as being terrible. but if there was anyone I could have chosen to do it with, it made sense to me that me and my friend Trey went to get hometown buffet. So it made sense to go to a crap place of this guy.

Yeah. But yeah. But no, it was a lot of fun to just have this excuse to have you on the podcast and do this together. So thanks for coming on. Do you want, if anything, like to plug anything, like your socials or anything? I go by say tray on TikTok.

It's one word, S-A-E-R-E-Y. I make just E-Y. I'm a bedroom DJ. I just like to make DJ mashups and post some I'm working on original music. I love bedroom DJ as a term. That has implications and that's not what you mean. But it is a term of DJing though. It goes from bedroom DJ to club DJ, bar DJ.

Oh, is that true? Yeah. I learned something here today. Mm-hmm. Awesome. And you can follow the podcast at Fine Dining Podcast on Instagram, TikTok, fine dining podcast.bsky.com social for Blue Sky. I will still be very active in my discord for the next few months while I am figuring out what to do with season four. I hope to see some of you go join that. We've got a small but fun community over there. I'd love to see it grow. Love to chat with all of you. In the meantime, that is another one in the books. Thank you all for watching. Bless you, my children. Go have a happy hollow

and most importantly, have a fine day. Bye.