Fine Dining - Hoots Wings (Part Two: Review) feat. VyVy Nguyen (Shaky Shivers, The Sympathizer)

Episode Date: February 14, 2024

Time to review the PG Hooters! VyVy Nguyen returns to review fast-casual Hooters affiliate Hoots Wings Michael is finally able to give VyVy her gift, now that Harrison has been brought into custody for stealing it last week This Hoots Wings rents a counter off to the side in a Blaze Pizza, the atmosphere is dubious at best Ghost children singing Old MacDonald The restaurant quits paying its cable bill mid-meal What's Going on Over There in the women's restroom when VyVy witnesses something while going to take a number zero Everyone's pining for entrees they didn't order VyVy LOVES funnel cake Next week's restaurant pick can never be spoken aloud on this podcast Watch the show on YouTube! Music by: James McEnelly (@Ramshackle_Music) Theme Song by: Kyle Schieffer (@JazzyJellyfish) Segment Transitions Voiced by: Sandy Rose "Fine" Dining is on Patreon! Get an extra episode every month (January's episode gave an updated standings rundown of the Tchotchke of Mediocrity, hitting all the spots that weren't "mediocre enough" to score in the Zone of Mediocrity), extended Yelp from Strangers segments every other week, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, and more! Patreon Producers: Sean Spademan, Joyce Van, & Sue Ornelas   Get the 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!   Send in your Hoots Wings/Hooters stories at [e-mail].   Follow the show on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast   Let me know where I should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, PodcastAddict, Overcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. I read every one!   Next week on "Fine" Dining: Ch**seburger in Paradise (Eat Deets)! I went to Hawaii to run a marathon and stopped by the other Jimmy Buffett restaurant with my Mom. Hear as she joins me in learning the history of the franchise and other people's opinions in Yelp from Strangers Ever work at Ch**seburger in Paradise? Send your stories to [e-mail].   Totally Not Sponsored by: Well, Harrison has legal troubles, and I think JUB disappeared, so I'm currently accepting applications. Submit your character to [e-mail].

From this point forward, the word cheese will be bleeped because Michael finds it offensive. Hello and welcome back to the Fine Dining Podcast, the search for the most mediocre restaurant in America. We are back. Vivi Wen. Hello. Last week we covered Hoot's Wings, the history and the Yelp reviews. Yes. And we got to the bottom of a Hoot done it. And you'll have to watch that. It's on YouTube. It's a video form. It's all film Nwari

If you're watching this before that stop right now and go back actually open a different tab Turn the volume down in this and let it play through for the algorithm Oh, there you go. The other one at a higher a higher volume. But we got the thing that was missing. I got you a gift to start the Hooter Bowl. He got me a gift. And now the entire occasion for the Hooter Bowl has passed because the football game was last week. Go team!

So anyways, here's a gift. Today is Valentine's Day, so. Oh. Here's a Valentine's. Look, in elementary school, you give a gift to everyone, okay? It's not a romantic gesture just to give someone a gift on Valentine's Day.

Okay, fair, fair. So this is something he said that we both share a mutual disdain for. And you said it was shirt-shaped, so. It is very much like a shirt. Oh, like a shirt, not a shirt. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh.

Perfect. Not even once. That's right. Nothing like pairing the grossest ingredient in all of food with the slogan for not doing meth. They're equivalent. Stay away. Stay away. I also like the giant QR code on the back.

You know, just in case anyone wants to listen and find out why sh** is bleeped. Someone's just gonna like. Also on the sleeve. What? Oh, oh, oh, Juicy! Juicy Jr. Who was acquitted of all charges last week. He was innocent. How could we have suspected you?

I'm sorry. I didn't say anything that I'll definitely regret later to Juicy. No, not at all. I just like that someone would have to get really close to me. Yeah. And be like, sorry. Can you move your hair out of the way? If you have a stranger brushing your hair off the nape of your neck in public. This is perfect. They're just trying to listen to the show.

Yes, we both don't like ch**s. We do not like ch**s. Sorry guys, I know this is blasphemous to most human beings. Anyways, let's talk about what we do like. Oh wow. We like going to restaurants in search of the perfect 5.00 out of 10, trying to figure out which one is the most average, because you gotta know where that centered line is

that good becomes bad. And in order to evaluate these restaurants, we're doing it based on three criteria. We're doing it based on their atmosphere. Based on their service. And based on their food. Yum! Can we do it one more time? Just real quick, there's a safety one.

And based on their food. Yum. Yum. I'm leaving both versions in. Okay. My dining party of two. Anyways, we've been talking too long. Enjoy your gift.

Thank you. Our table is ready. We'll see you after the song. Table is ready, we'll see you after the song. Walls of growth signs Knit, Knack, Cowboy Hat, Good Luck Hat Octograph Guitar, Some Graph from your city Behold the Trot Key of mediocrity Fine Dining It's just fine dining Fine dining Two letters on the sign are shining

Neon flickering irregular timing Identify the perfect by Palatine Fine dining. Fine dining. Atmosphere. Okay, so the atmosphere of this place, I mean, we talked about it last time. It is a blaze pizza.

It is. So I'm going to just put on tunnel vision and just talk about the Hoots wings counter. Okay. I guess it's an overhead menu. Yeah. It's a fast casual joint. There's like a few desserts for sale, like a little cookie or a brownie that you can buy at the register that aren't related to the restaurant

They're just kind of impulse add-ons that you can get they do have their own separate Fountain drink Philip station that was that from blaze a divider wall like they're like segregating like Even though they were like within feet of each other. Yeah, but I think one was Pepsi products. Oh, yeah. I think the other had other offerings, probably Coke products. Yeah, they did Pepsi, I think for Hootswings. They had the whole gamut. Mm-hmm.

That's the... This Blaze slash Hootswings combo might be the only fountain in the world you can go to that has Coke and Pepsi products side by side. Wow. Living in unity. Harmony. Harmony. Yeah, harmony is better. It's not a contest. I was going for harmony and it came out unity. And then to add to the wonderful atmosphere, there's TVs with football on it. the news and man found dead in alley That's what you want to read when you're when you're eating Gorging yourself. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's a vibe

Definitely as the kids say yes, which we totally are we're kid. I'm not even gonna claim that I Can't even claim to be young anymore The only thing I'll push back on is when someone calls me middle-aged. Oh, no, we're not there yet. We're not there Yet Clinging to that yet fair enough. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the news was depressing because there's not usually happy things they're covering. It was like people being killed, people dying. A puppy pageant. Oh, was there? I missed. Oh, okay. But it is a newsy thing you could see. I would have loved to have seen a puppy pageant. We did not have that. We were not so lucky. No, there was a what what did those things

they do at the mall where they like steal things? Shootings? No, no, well, hopefully not. No, when they've been going in the groups and group mobs and stealing, what are they called? Smash and grab. Smash and grab. They were covering a smash. I was a flash mob. I, yeah, could have been. They're not dancing, they're stealing.

A smash mob? Yeah. That sounds like an orgy. Yeah, whoa. There I was, spitting at the food court outside of Macy's. And then a bunch of people. I started understating. Perrell's happy came on.

Oh. And everyone in perfect synchronicity started... Anyway, there was news about a smash and grab. I remember that where I was just like, quite mood are we setting here? Yeah. You know, you got to catch up on the news when you go to the fast casual dooders. Yeah.

There was a kid singing Old MacDonald in the corner, which is a thing that's never not haunted. Well, mind you, the kid was with their family, so it wasn't just a child. It was just a ghost child standing straight up. Old MacDonald had a fun. We actually made that sound like a movie trailer. We did. It did sound haunting. Yeah, yeah. The kids were sitting in the corner with their family singing the song very loudly. Everyone could hear it. Can't the kid have busted out some Beyonce?

I think the kid was like five. Dives into just partition. Oh. I don't want to hear a fight. Keep references. From what, 2013, 2014? I don't know when that came out. Part of the beehive? Yeah.

Good, that's a good answer. Yeah. Otherwise everyone's coming for you. I love Beyonce. Imagine if you'd said no. It would have been a lie. Oh, there you are, it would have been untrue. I had said no that said wasn't that into Renaissance? Okay, all right Maybe the funniest moment to me

Especially during the height of football season they have a game on and the TV service subscription expired. Yeah, there was a full on notification that showed up on the screen. Like basically like pay your bill. Yeah, so the employee came over and decided to change the channel. Oh, is that what it was? So I guess maybe like a they had like extra channels that they paid extra for or something. I guess because then they decided to like, no one was paying in the moment. Better they renewed it real quick. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They were just like, okay, guess we're not watching this game anymore. Yeah. There's not that much more about the atmosphere that isn't specific to Blaze. Our table had pepper and like red chili flakes and she parmesan sh** on it. We're telling you all the things you need to know. And it was because you know you're in a essentially a blazed pizza that just happens to also serve Hoots wings. Now you went to the restroom.

Oh gosh. And came back with a tail. Okay. I went to the restroom. There were two women. number one and number two Wash my hands my hands were dirty so a number zero. Yeah, essentially. Yeah, I was like, oh if I'm in there I could go one or one if I wanted but what happened? Why'd you cut off to is to not an option?

No, it wasn't like I could just automatically like turn it on. I didn't have to go I could just automatically turn it on. I didn't have to go number two. Whereas I could probably pee a little if so asked. This is the route I wanted this conversation to go down. I know. Yeah, let's talk about urine, everyone. Anyway, I was heading to the restroom. There were two women in front of me who were friends and they went in. One headed to a stall. The other one's the second stall that was there, and I hear her go, oh dear lord. And she quickly left the stall, and I wasn't gonna go and follow her. You're not gonna chance it. But it did leave you and me with a question. It made us wonder, Vivi, what's going on over there? What's going on over there? What's going on over there? Should I wear it? Should I damn? What is going on over there? Vivi, what is going on over there?

Well, the obvious thought would probably be something related to number two, not being flushed. That's my general assumption. That's look that's what the layman would think That's what an amateur would think but we know more we do this is a restaurant This is a place where food happens. Yes. This is a place Blaze hoots bathroom where food happens. Blaze Hoots bathroom. Where food happens. I'm going there. Not is made.

It just happens. It happens. Do you consume it? Up to you. I think we found the Nexus Point where it transitions from Blaze into Hoots. And it's a dark place. Oh no. It is a void that no one should visit. No, you don't want to go in this stall. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm You didn't have the curiosity. No. But you did have the answer to what's going on over there.

What's going on over there? So when I think about this atmosphere and I give it a rating, the Hoots was the less impressive part of the restaurant. This is true. It was confusing outside with the super tinted windows and the inability to enter. Fusing outside with the super tinted windows and the inability to enter I'm going one thing and the news and the subscription and very sad news lack of football game Okay, going one thumb down just one. Yeah, still a thumb down It did take a lot of its atmosphere from blaze and I feel like blaze should get the credit there Yeah I feel like Hoot's wings didn't really contribute much of that. They didn't do the work.

They didn't. Our tables were bolted down. Couldn't move them away from Blaze. We were just stuck there. I'm sorry, did you want to steal a table? I didn't want to steal a table. I wanted just to put our table together closer. But sure, I'll take a table.

A little free tables. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'll take a table, a little free table. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I give it one thumb down. All right. Service. So these weren't Hooters girls. No, they were not. There wasn't a lot of cleavage in this experience.

I don't think there was any cleavage. That's what I was being nice. Oh, okay. I mean, nice, I don't know. Just accurate? I didn't expect it. You sure? But it's still got the Hooters name.

Well, it's got Hoots. So ER stands for Boo. Yeah, no, not the O's. Not the O's. The O's mean nothing. It's a bait and twist. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The ER, those are the Boo's.

All about the ER. those are the booths. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought that they were kind enough. I mentioned in part one about the woman who left and just went and sat in her car to decompress for a while. That's not a knock against the service, but it is a thing you notice. She was on her break, to be fair. Presumably. The car was really close to the restaurant Right. It was like right yeah, yeah, yeah So she didn't even like park far in the corner of the parking lot to hide the fact that she was

So needing a break. Yeah, I'm not knocking it. It's just noteworthy Yeah, we had to go back and forth several times to interact with these employees. We had questions. We went up the one time to pick up the menu, then went back to our table, then brought it back, and we're ordering. Ordering. And there were... We had to go then sit down and wait for our food, then come back and get the food.

And then once we were eating, we needed wet naps, came back for that. Yeah, we had more needs. It wasn't like everything was provided. Yes, there was a lot of back and forth to the counter. Yeah. And then there was like, we added dessert, the funnel cake sticks didn't those come later? No, no, no. Well, what happened was we messed up my order. Yeah. So I, yes. No one ordered your food because you were like Michael you're paying for my food

You seemed like you were paying for your food And so I was like oh, I just thought you had your stuff covered you're like no go up there and buy me food With that exact tone of voice. Yeah. Yes, I demanded food from you. You didn't get it, so we had to reorder it. We were looking at all the things. We were cross-referencing our test form.

To make sure that we, yes, there you go. Literally this bad boy that we grabbed and picked up and we circled all the things that we were getting Yeah, very systematic and like labeled who was getting what I'm literally holding the menu open right now I took it with me because it's paper and you can do that with paper. Yeah, it's not stealing if it's paper That's the rule you can steal books. Did you know? Yeah Yeah. Money's paper.

Oh, I like this loophole. Yeah, it is. Yeah, it was like we were cross-referencing everything that was delivered versus everything that was circled and we realized the common denominator of what was missing was your food. I did not have food. And I was like, oh, I guess I assumed because you went up there that you were just grabbing it.

Yeah, we basically got stuff in waves as a result. So there were so many visits back and forth with the server. People got our steps in. I also got pitted against the opinion of the cashier. Yes, because you all ordered the funnel cake sticks. Yes, I was doing that as dessert. Little did I know that you would bought a cookie already, but I would have much rather had your thing if for no other reason than it's made by Hooters,

whereas like a pre-packaged cookie, sure, you can't really judge Hooters off of a third party. Can you look? I've had the Cinnabon debate before. This is right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Third party doesn't count. Sure. I'm with you. So I was ordering the funnel cake sticks and they offered you one of the dipping sauces, which was raspberry and chocolate.

Right. And I asked the girl at the counter what she recommended and she said chocolate. At the same time, I went, I usually prefer raspberry. Yes. I didn't say it in response to her. No, no, no. We said it simultaneously. Yes.

So suddenly I was caught between this decision where this employee is looking at me and you're looking at me. What will I choose? Yeah. And I think you felt pressure by the fact that I host this show. Well, I did ask her and I was like, what do you recommend? She did say, she's like, I think the chocolate's better. But you said you generally like raspberry more.

I generally like raspberry and I got burned if you go listen to the Olive Garden episode, the warm Italian donuts that they serve come with a chocolate or raspberry and in that episode I got both and the chocolate was bad. Sure. The chocolate was real bad and you know, I wouldn't put the quality of a chocolate sauce from a Hooters any higher than I would an Olive Garden. Yeah. So having been burned before, I said raspberry. So I chose raspberry. So you chose raspberry. And we shall follow up on that.

We'll loop back on that one. Yes, we will. Yeah. I feel like Fast Casual Service just has a cap. You know, you're not getting to really build a rapport with someone every time I went up I feel like there were like three different employees that I was kind of cycling between getting to know They were all fine. They were nice. They were nice, you know, they got our food Time-ly manner They weren't like making mistakes. And I imagine that if they had made a mistake, they probably wouldn't have like fought.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes get the servers that are like, you ordered it this way. It's like, look. As in the Yelp review, yeah, you ordered it. To go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And, you know, they were fine, but, but it's fast casual.

I'm going to just go right in the middle zero thumbs You know, I think it was partially our fault for not realizing it was a counter service So just rating it on the service that we got at the counter. They were very kind and helpful I would give them one thumb up Food yummy Okay, the food at a Hoots Wings. We've been here before because I've done a Hooters episode before. I've eaten some of these things before and yet somehow they were different here.

A fast casual restaurant is not the same as a casual restaurant. No. Usually the ingredients... You spurped. I tried to do it subtly, but damn, let's call it out. I feel like if I can hear, they can hear. It's okay, it's okay. I just wanted to make sure. The chocolate chip cookie at the front. Yes. This third-party chocolate chip cookie. It was fine. Yeah. It's not factoring into my score for what a Hoots wings has to offer. All right.

I will still give it a score, but it's not going to affect my thumb rating. Yeah. But there was like a weird, what's that ingredient? How many what's going on over there? Just like a white ball. That was, I think we had half a bite taken through it already. Yeah, and it kind of looked like a nut. Like a macadamia or something.

Yeah, but then none of the ingredients listed said anything about nuts. So we're trying to like cross reference. What is this? Yes, and we realized it was a pretzel piece. It was a pretzel ball. Oh, pretzel ball. Is what was in the listed in the ingredient. I didn't have any in the bite that I had, so I missed out on that pretzel. I think there was one on the entire cookie.

I thought the cookie was better than expected from a pre-packaged thing. I think it would have tasted good if you had brought it home and like put it in the microwave. Because it was just very like, it felt unfinished. At least in the version we were eating. You know what I mean? I feel like that's how people describe me. They're like, you should have been in the oven just a little bit longer. He came out early.

Yeah, I went five out of ten on the cookie. It was five out of ten right in the middle better than I expected. I had lower expectations of this thing being like a shrink-wrapped cookie. I also gave it a five out of ten. It was an average cookie. Could have been better, but still tasty. We ate it at the beginning of our meal just because we were waiting for food and it was there. Yeah. Well, because we took so long to like figure out what we all wanted and then it was a lot of food to order at once So it wasn't coming quick. Yeah, so that that kind of hit the spot there and I did like that its name was manifesto

Oh, yeah, what a name for a cookie that like has something to say manifesto might find it after colonizing the land. Oh, I was gonna go with like, it goes on like a rampage. Oh, oh, oh, geez. Yeah. I mean, I guess both manifestos are different and terrible in their own ways.

Oh, God. Anyways, that's the cookie. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. All right, then we have the lemon pepper buffalo shrimp. I insisted on getting this specific dish because I had it at Hooters last year for the first Hooters bowl and it was my jam. Yeah, I remember you talking about it and it sounded amazing because you said you could have just eaten that for the meal.

Yeah, I literally ate it and was like, this will get me back to a Hooters hmm well it got me back to a Hoots and this did not know hit the same this was like McNugget texture like the breading on a McNugget that's's like, this ain't good for me. It was shrimp in that. I was sad. It tasted okay though. Lemon pepper is always a solid seasoning. So let me look back at what I rated this the first time I went. The lemon pepper shrimp. Originally, I gave

an 8 out of 10. Oh, wow. This visit dropped two points. Six out of 10. Oh, that's still pretty good. Still... It reminded me of a taste I like. Yeah. But it didn't match it. Yeah. I gave it a 5 out of 10. Yeah. I thought it was... Middling. It was just okay. The lemon flavor didn't really come through. The breading also just gave it this texture that you weren't really... It didn't... You didn't sign up for. No. Yeah. Because you then think you're at McDonald's eating a chicken nugget and it turns out to be shrimp. Yeah. Which is not a nice surprise. No. So yeah. I didn't love it. By the way, I tried... So last time it was out to be shrimp. Yeah, which is not a nice surprise. No, so yeah

I didn't love it by the way. I tried so last time it was out. I tried the McRib for the first time. Oh It's a trash sandwich. I mean it essentially is a trash sandwich It's just a all the pieces could describe leftover pieces of a pig and they just put it in like some sort of patty if it's fake shake shake. Oops, all anuses. And hooves and hooves. Oh, God.

Yeah. The Buffalo Chicken Sandwich. Yes. So my boyfriend got the Buffalo Chicken Sandwich. We wanted to mix it up, make sure that there was something beyond just because they had lots of wings, but there were other things on the menu. So he went and got the sandwich. And hence the shrimp that we got, hence the funnel cake fries.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So we were trying to vary it. And so we got the sandwich. To begin with, we tried to cut it to share. Uh-huh. And I noticed when I cut into it, the bun was not even on, like the top bun was fine, that made it look normal. And I cut into it, that whole portion I cut off did not have any bun. So it was just very like a sad baby bun underneath. It did.

Yeah. So when I tried to give you some to eat, there was like hardly any bun and I had to just like take some from a different part of the sandwich. Like a skin graft of the sandwich. Like a skin graft of bun. So you could kind of get the feel

of what the sandwich tasted like. So that already, that was like, it was in a good balance of the ingredients together. So the words I wrote, good, soft bun. So I guess I liked the bun. Oh, okay. Well, you did get the bun at the top. Yes.

And then, and you had the graft. Yeah, and I had the graft. Yeah, so I must have chosen a good spot. Tasted graft. Yeah. Well, you did get the bun at the top. Yes. And then, and you had the graft. Yeah, and I had the graft. Yeah, so I must have chosen a good spot. Tasty graft. Yeah. Otherwise, you know, it kind of had a standard buffalo taste. I went six and a half out of ten on it. Okay.

So just a notch above mediocre, four to six is mediocre to me. Yeah, I gave it a six out of ten too because the flavor was still nice. It wasn't anything revolutionary. It was buffalo. Yeah. Yeah. I like buffalo. Yeah. It wasn't anything revolutionary. It was buffalo. Yeah. Yeah. I like buffalo. Yeah, it's just not revolutionary.

Yes. I mean, it was when it burst on the scene. In Buffalo, New York. But it's been on the scene for a while. Yes, it has. And now it's old hat. We need new flavors, guys. We need new hats.

Well, I have a new shirt. You do have a new shirt. And you can go buy it. FindDiningPodcast.com, go over to to that merch tab and you can support the bleeping of Yes, there are others like us. I'm sure This is such a narrow market We are such a minority. You know what maybe this is the group of people that have wanted to be heard for so long Yeah, I mean vegans are inherently in this group. This is true, and I don't really want to be in a group with

I'm kidding Boneless spicy garlic wings. Ooh my favorite of the batch. I Liked it a lot. I kept going bet. Well, I there were only what six or eight or something Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, four of us there at the table. I could only go back so many times before I'm hogging them. But it's okay, because I didn't love it as much as you did. Yeah. I thought they were still tasty. There was like this weird love triangle of like the things we ordered were no one's favorite thing. Exactly. Everyone was pining for someone else's dish. But it was okay, because then you would get- We covered the bases. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I wasn't going to finish mine and you helped me out. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yours were definitely my favorite. I thought they were very juicy. I went eight out of 10. I gave it a six out of 10 because I thought first off, if you're talking about spices in the name, it wasn't really that spicy. I do have a high tolerance when it comes to spice. So I try to like grade it on that kind of scale where it's not where I am. I was just an average. So I didn't feel like there was much of a kick. Yeah. But there was a nice garlic flavor that I was a fan of. The texture

was awesome. Yeah, just a very nice flavor. Yeah. See, it's interesting. I'm not a person. I do believe things should be named appropriately and offer up what they name, but if they still taste delicious, even if it's like, hey, you're expecting spicy and it wasn't, but I really like this thing, I'm still gonna rate it highly. But then I think you shouldn't call it spicy. I agree on that.

Okay. But if I like it, I like it. All right, that's fine. You can like it, just don't call it spicy. Cause that's what I wanted. I didn't name it. I don't work for a hoot. I Mean you've been talking about them a lot They're the subject of two of my episodes. That's what a sponsor would say. Yeah

They put money in my pocket there you go The breaded traditional Chipotle honey wings. Very, very bready. So bready. And I didn't mind on my first one. Okay. My first one was a pleasant experience. Oh, they lulled you into a sense of satisfaction. Yeah. And then I

had my second one and I'm going to come out and say it. I'm a selfish guy. Okay. When I'm drafting. End of the sentence. When I'm drafting, you know, food drafting for people sharing four dishes and you're like, okay, which one of your six do I want? I'm drafting, you know, food drafting for people sharing four dishes and you're like, okay, which one of your six do I want? I'm always going for the one that looks best to me. Okay. Sometimes that means the biggest. He's a superficial boy.

Yeah. It's not about what's on the inside with these wings. Oh, about the outside. Yeah. I, why would I grab for one that doesn't look like the tastiest one? Right? Yeah. I just, do you just randomize? No, I mean, I'm sure there's a level of like-

You suss out a little. Yeah, because especially looking at yours, as you're going to see, there is a lot of bread happening. And I didn't realize that it was bread. You thought it was chicken? I thought it was just a meaty, beefy boy. Well, not beef, it's chicken. A chickeny boy.

A poultry boy. And I felt seen. I was like, yes, this one is like me. It has much meat. Not fully formed. Not fully formed. Not fully formed. Should have been left in the oven a little bit longer. And I bit into it and anatomically speaking, I couldn't find the meat. I was like, this thing is just like an orb of bread.

Yeah. And it's tough. Like it's like over, it was...bitch. It was way too much. I'm gonna go on record and say this one freak wing that I got that I drafted thinking it would be brilliant, thinking that it would be revolutionary and change my world, change my world view. I thought it was way too much. Way too much. Way too much. Way too much.

It made me feel like I don't know how to eat. No, I think you know how to eat. They just don't know how to make wings. When I'm 35 years old and I'm just like, huh? What if I come out of this angle? Like I was like, what is happening? I mean, you were basically playing the game meat or bread. Hootswings, inventing new ways to scrutinize my food.

Gaslighting you. Yeah, still the good one I had tasted. All right, overall, I'm going to go six and a half out of 10. But I mean mean just that one wing was Terrible terrible Did you did you try this one? Did you rate it? Yes? It was Chipotle, honey There was a nice sweetness to it for sure

But again the piece I got as well also was so much bread very little meat So that was really disappointing, but I thought I did have nice flavor So I gave it a four out of ten just because I didn't have a lot of meat in it And there was only what how many pieces eight pieces that we were sharing if that yeah They may have been groups of six. Yeah, so it wasn't the purpose. It was it was disappointing. Yeah smoked traditional garlic Habanero rub wings At this point we're adding so many names. Traditional or boneless, what type of breading,

flavor name, plus, like, yeah, these names are insane. This was Joyce's order. This was Joyce's order. Also good. I thought the smokiness made it a little dry. Oh. But they still, they had a solid taste.

I love habanero. I thought they were delicious. I love habanero, yeah. Yes, I wrote nice rub, good spice, great garlic taste. I loved these wings. I kept, I like told toys, I was like, can I have some more of your chicken? And she was like, that's fine

because they weren't her favorite, which I thought was so funny. I gave him a nine out of 10, because I love these things. They were delicious. I would have just done the whole meal of those wings. Just do a line of habanero rub wings. They were just hitting the spot for me.

And again, because I like spice, they did have a nice burn to them. Habanero is my favorite spice. Usually I need it, like not just a straight habanero, like a mango habanero. I'm a huge fan of pretty consistently. My favorite hot sauce is a honey garlic habanero. I'm out of it because of how quickly I go through it, but next time I'll give you a

little. Oh, okay. Give you a little thing of it. Giving me shirts, giving me some. I'm gonna go six and a half out of 10 on these as well. I thought six and a half is kind of the bar across a lot of these. Sure. Not a lot of them sang, you know.

They didn't go Celine Dion on you. They didn't. Yeah. I did the really like these though. So again, I came with nine. So let's talk about what these came with. Okay. Tertots.

Tertots? Tertots. Oh, I like Okay. Tatartots. Tatartots? Tatartots. Oh, I like that. They were tots. I... I kept going back to them. Okay. Like they had enough of that addictiveness to me

that I kept going back. I thought they were pretty good. They weren't too greasy. That is a good point. And I thought that the honey mustard sauce carried them. Good compliment. I went seven out of ten Okay, I went six out of ten. Yeah, they were fine. They were good nothing

Revolution like you. Oh, let's do it. I they weren't Jumped on that then the Side that didn't happen. Mm, the curly fries. The curly fries. We wanted, we wanted to try that. We wanted the gamut. They were on the menu.

Tots, curly fries, waffle fries. Unfortunately. They only know how to waffle fries. Yeah, they shut us down. They're like, circle? Sir, we got rid of boobs. So we couldn't write those. Yeah. So no, no curly fries.

But the waffle fries, they kind of had that curly seasoning on it a little bit. Yeah, they had some flavor to them. I just thought they were a little too salty. I found myself kind of like dusting a little bit of the salt off because it was just a little too. Yeah, I wasn't mad about it. I wasn't mad about it. You, salty boy. I'm not going to agree. I'm not going to agree to that.

I went seven and a half out of ten on these. So I had them even just a nudge above the Turtots. Okay. I had a five out of ten because they were just, they were over salted, but still tasty. And I like the texture of waffle fries. Yeah. Another side was veggie sticks and they were... They were carrots and celery.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But they were fresh, so I gave them seven out of ten because they were not sad and not like, you know, sometimes you get celery and it's like gross. Oh yeah. Sad veggie sticks are almost the de facto thing you get when you go to a wingspot. Yeah.

So I thought they tasted good with the sauces we had. Yeah. Made you feel like you were kind of being healthy. 7 out of 10. Did they? Yeah! I don't. Veggies.

I eat them. Everything on our table was so brown. Whenever I take a bite of it, I feel like a phony. When I take a bite of celery, I feel like my inner monologue is just like, you're not fooling anyone, dude. What is this bite? You're wasting real estate. Just eat the brown. It's just water. Just eat the brown water.

Just eat the brown and speaking of brown funnel fries. Yes. So they were not on the menu. They were on the door. Yeah, they were on the door sign, but I saw them right away and I'm a huge fan of funnel cake. I used to work at Disneyland. A huge fan of funnel cake. I am. I love funnel cake because I will say the LA County fair had really good

Funnel and you got it. You're out of fair. Yeah, they mess up funnel cake. There's a problem Yeah, but I used to work at Disneyland and I worked in tomorrowland and we were one of the few restaurants that had funnel cake available at the Park, huh? And so what happens at the end of the night was if there was extra funnel cake, you could take it home. And so I would always have extra. I just love funnel cake. I would have extra funnel cake, which is a sentence no one needs to say because just saying I have funnel cake is already extra funnel cake. Laurie had some like during my shift and now I have some to take home.

And I was working part-time while I was in college, so I would bring it back to the dorm sometimes and be like the hero of the dorm. Wow. Because there was like legit funnel cake being brought back, anyway. So, since you are a discerning critic of funnel cake, the funnel fries, they were not funnel cake,

they were literal just... Yeah, like strips of dough that had been fried, but they were of the batter that you would make funnel cake with. And then powdered sugar. Powdered sugar on top. And raspberry dip. Yes, which we chose because you recommended it, or you thought we would have a better result.

Yeah, I never agree. Like, all right, so. With employees? No, no, no, no. I never agree. With employees? No, no, no, no. Yeah, I'm anti-authority, baby. I never agree, and I think it's over-dramatic. I love cherry-flavored things. Okay. When people taste a cherry thing and go,

it tastes like medicine, it doesn't. It just- They're exaggerating. They're exaggerating, and they're trying to make a parallel between something that is named after the flavor that this thing is. Sure. This raspberry sauce tasted like medicine. It did. It did. And then I more precisely placed the comparison. It tasted like the inside of the raspberry toaster strudel.

Which is a low quality pastry, I think we can all admit the toaster strudel is not the high end of quality jam fillings. But I feel like that's being harsh on a toaster strudel because I never have thought medicine when eating a toaster strudel. But you also warm it up and warm medicine is going to taste a little bit better. Oh, warm medicine? I don't know. Look, I said the sentence, I didn't even know if I agreed with the sentiment as it was coming

out. But here we are. Yeah, yeah. No, it definitely had a very strong medicinal flavor. So I would normally probably have given this like a nine out of ten on the funnel cake Did you think that the funnel cake part of it was that good? The how do you screw it up? You can't you can Leave something to be desired which I thought this did I feel like this didn't

Stick the landing on just scratching the itch of funnel I also liked though because like you know when you eat funnel cake you either have to like You pull it apart or get a knife and fork or something and this was just chicks that you could you know Elegantly nibble on so I liked that aspect of it right I thought it was well fried and well fried I don't know it wasn't like over crunch overly crunchy. Yeah. It wasn't too soft. Yeah. Not fully formed. What are you saying about me? You're the one who said that about yourself. But I would say the sauce did knock it down in my esteem because I was just like, I don't need this and it made it worse. I still like ate plenty of them. Like if I dislike this thing, I wouldn't have I would have tasted

it and be like, all right, that's what that tastes like. And moved on. I still went seven out of 10. So it's not the worst tasting medicine, but it's medicine. Yeah, I think I had two dips of it. And I was like, no, I don't like it. So where'd you fall? Okay, well, I gave it an eight out of 10. It was going to be higher, but the sauce brought it down. Yeah. So, eight. Eight. Putting all these food considerations together.

I mean, like we said, my baseline was like a six and a half. Mm-hmm. That's enough to go above this. I'm gonna go one thumb up on the food at Hootswings. I'm also giving it one thumb up. I thought the food was fine, which is what we're looking for. Fine plus, I would say. Yeah, nothing was too egregious other than the breading

on your chicken. Yeah. But otherwise, generally, tasty food, nothing too upsetting. That's the bar. Yeah, that's the bar we're going for. No, the flavors overall are pretty good. Yeah, I didn't get sick.

Didn't have to go into the toilet and see what was in the stall. Yeah. Yeah. Didn't have to visit the nexus of pizza and chicken. The portal to hell. Yeah. Um, all right, yeah. One thumb up for me, one thumb up for you.

Well, only one thing left to do. We gotta put this all together into a rating. Final rating. Okay, I had a thumb down on the atmosphere, a thumb up on the food, and no thumbs on the surface. So I'm- Yeah, you kind of balanced- This is a pretty middling experience. This place could have been better.

Yeah. This place could have been better. Yeah, this place could have been a lot worse This place is definitely worse than normal Hooters, but it's not like a trash restaurant No, and especially if you want to have wings that aren't too bad and you want to get them quickly You can go here Yeah, I do feel like it would have definitely been better if they had their own location. But it seems like they don't need it. But a lot of them have it.

This one seems like the exception. Sure, okay. And it was confusing as a first time visitor, where we're like, what? Is this? Are you closed? Closed, yeah. Oh, we go through this door to the blaze

to get to the wings. Yeah. Yeah. I'll let you give it a number first I thought the food was okay service was good atmosphere was blaze so overall 5.13. Okay, so you're pretty close to the middle. Yeah, and I think that's accurate. I'm below average I think this place is less than five, but I don't think it's drastic. No. I don't think it was a bad restaurant. It's still mediocre. I'm going 4.66. Okay.

Which means... on the Chashki of mediocrity, it goes on there at 4.90. Oh, that's pretty dang close. Which is a perfect tie with Planet Hollywood. The Planet Hollywood at the Tom Bradley International Terminal at LAX. That sounds about right. Not like OG Planet Hollywood back in the day. This is like on the go. This is the LAX Planet Hollywood.

Yeah. Which means that this place is less than mediocre. There's some mediocre Not quite as good as Applebee And it also means that we didn't find the most mediocre spot We got pretty close though We got very close Yeah We were 0.1 away That's impressive

But it's not on the dot It's not Which means we gotta keep going. We gotta figure out where am I gonna evaluate next time on the podcast. I like, why did you dip down? Next time. I like that. My posture is here for emphasis.

Oh, I should have done this throughout the podcast. Yeah. Smooth. Would have been a visual nightmare. We gotta play a game, Vivi. Okay, would have been a visual nightmare. We gotta play a game, Vivi. Okay, let's play a game. We gotta play a game called The Headline Game. The rules of the headline game are as follows.

Michael will present three headlines to his co-host that include this week's restaurant. They can be made up or they can be actual headlines. If the co-host can correctly guess if at least two out of three are real or fake, they will get to select next week's restaurant. However, if Michael stumps them, he'll select again. Are you ready to play, you two? I'm ready.

All right. Detroit Area Church protests new Hooters joint hoots. Don't understand, it's not exploitative. Ooh, I don't know if I like the grammar on that. Don't understand. Wouldn't they say like doesn't understand? I'm gonna go off that alone and say it's false. That does sound very churchy to protest.

No, I'm gonna go false. I'm going false okay committing all right Hoots wings a Hooters spin-off feminists can love I think that's true because I feel like that's like propaganda for them That they're hoping that's how people will come in and get service. Yeah, I'm gonna say true. All right. Brand new Hoots wings in South Florida vandalized night before grand opening. Oh, this is so neutral. Ah.

Yes, true. True. All right. Headline number one, Detroit area church protests new hooters joint hoots, don't understand, it's not exploitative. Now keep in mind, you could say the church, like goers, the body of people don't understand. I was going with the church, so it sounded weird. The church don't understand.

That said, you were correct. I did make it up. I just wanted to defend, like, I'm good at grammar. Me good at grammar. Me good'm good at grammar Me good. Are you me good you good me good? Hoots wings a hooter spin-off Feminists can love you said true that is true. Yeah, who wrote it? It was like a New Jersey times Let's let's see if I can who paid you New Jersey times

Hoots did or Hooters did I lost it. That's okay brand new Hoots wings in South Florida vandalized night before grand opening You said true. I made that one up Yeah, it was so neutral. I couldn't glean anything from it Yeah, but it did sound like maybe someone who was angry like the church Sounds like it a seed. Yeah, yeah, I was like, all this sounds like it could happen. Yeah. Uh, which means you scored two out of three, you won the headline game, you get to choose where you're sending me for the next episode.

What restaurant do you want me to do? Oh, well, aren't you traveling soon? Hawaii,tle brag. She... well... What are you doing to me? I know the students got it harsh now. What is it? S**t Burger in Paradise?

Have you heard of it? Yeah, the other Jimmy Buffett restaurant? They created a chain for that. And there's one... There's one in Honolulu. And there's... Did you look up the restaurants in Honolulu where I'm from? Yeah, I did.

I did. I did. I did. I did. one in Honolulu. And there's- Did you look up the restaurants in Honolulu where I'm going? I kind of stopped. That's dedication. Kind of like looked into where you'd be.

All right. I was trying to figure it out. I appreciate that. Because I've had people pick places that it's like, do this place. I'm like, well, I have to travel to get there. And it's like, oh, well, too bad. And then I have to buy a plane ticket. Oh, do this place. I'm like, well, I have to travel to get there. And it's like, oh, well too bad. And then I have to buy a plane ticket. Oh yeah, yeah, no, I figured you were already

gonna be there. So why not? Cool. Yeah. Yeah. Right? The burger in paradise, the restaurant whose name I'm gonna have to bleep every time I say it.

Oh. Ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah, we don't, yeah, that does really mean that I chose Chisburg. You don't have to get a Chisburg. I don't have to get have to get a job. Yeah, okay. Okay. Unless that's the rule. No, I can order food to my liking But I mean their rule. Yeah, cuz then they're like this isn't hamburger in paradise Screw them, you know No, I kick you out. Yeah to scrape it off. No, I-

I'm gonna kick you out. Yeah. You eat it now! Eat that shit! All right, well, cool. Well, yeah, I'll pair that with my Hawaii trip then. That actually sounds fun. Have a good marathon, man.

Thank you. Thank you for coming on and joining me. Thank you for having me again. For who, twins? This time on camera. Oh my gosh. What an evolution this podcast has made. I know.

Thanks for starring in a film noir feature at with me last week. Oh, you're so welcome. Yeah. Where do you want people to find you or follow you or anything like that? I'm on Instagram, say la v v c e s t l a underscore v y v y. That's where I'm at.

Where are we at? You can follow the show at Find Dining Podcast on Instagram and TikTok. You can write me an email. Say whatever you want. Find Dining Podcast at gmail.com. Visit the website, finddiningpodcast.com. You can sign up for the newsletter. Whenever a new episode comes out, I'll send you something.

Sometimes there's merch deals. You can get this shirt. You can get that shirt that Vivi is wearing right now. Not even once. Not even once. Not even once. comes out, I'll send you something. Sometimes there's merch deals. You can get this shirt. You can get that shirt that Vivi is wearing right now. Not even once. Not even once. Not even once. The next.

Paradise. Not not even in paradise. Yeah. And yeah, we didn't find the most mediocre restaurant. The search does in fact continue. We'll see you next time. Have a fine day! Our journey did not conclude, the mother-ed in search continues Write us an iTunes review

And hey, while you're at it, why don't you go ahead and make it five stars? Come on! Follow us on TikTok, the same on Instagram the same on Instagram. All the socials at Find Dining Podcast. We have a website, finddiningpodcast.com. Buy our t-shirts, then put them on And don't forget, you can always suggest where we go next Okay! We're going to find it Mediocrating The search continues

See you next week! I heard my throat a little. Have a fine day!