Fine Dining - Houston's Restaurant Review feat. Adam Macias (That Was Wild Podcast) [Part Two]

Episode Date: August 14, 2024

The sushi at Houston's is an unexpected masterpiece! Houston's Restaurant aka Hillstone is one of the higher-end experiences I've had for the podcast, and That Was Wild podcast's Adam Macias joined me on his own birthday to dine there with me The art choices in here were bold (arguably Way Too Much) and their light fixtures straight up looked like a certain Pokémon I straight up misinterpreted the meaning of the phrase "I'm Going to Hit the Head" What's Going On Over There with falsely advertising their artichokes on the menu? Manager gaslighting What we ate: Deviled Eggs, Bread Plate, Spinach Dip, Thai Tuna Roll, Cole Slaw, French Fries, French Dip au Jus, Hawaiian Prime Rib, Brownie with Kahlua Sauce A passionate discussion about our rating scales "Fine" Dining is now on video! Head on over to my YouTube to watch this episode! Music by: James McEnelly (@Ramshackle_Music) Theme Song by: Kyle Schieffer (@JazzyJellyfish) Segment Transitions Voiced by: Sandy Rose "Fine" Dining is on Patreon! Get an extra episode every month (July's exclusive episode is on Sarku Japan, a delicious mall food court teriyaki chicken joint, and I introduced my friend Michael Slater to their "yummy yummy sauce!"), extended Yelp from Strangers segments every other week, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, and more! Patreon Producers: Joyce Van, & Sue Ornelas   Get the 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!   Send in your Houston's stories at [e-mail].   Follow the show on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast Follow Adam on Instagram @adamrmac   Let me know where I should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, PodcastAddict, Overcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. I read every one!   Next week on "Fine" Dining: Perkins History [Part One]! From the Two in the Cooler podcast, I'm joined by Andrew Canada as we talk all about this history of Perkins, a chain he grew up on. Ever work at Perkins? Send your stories to [e-mail].

On this week's delicious episode of the Fine Dining Podcast, I've never had a sushi that tasted like this. 100%. Perfect. A steakhouse will never be an 8 for me. They have nothing to do with Texas, but they're called Houston's? Isn't this something? A lot of dishonesty.

From this point forward, the word cheese will be bleeped because Michael finds it offensive. Hello and welcome back to the Fine Dining Podcast, the search for the most mediocre restaurant in America. I'm your host Michael Ornelas and this is the podcast where I'm looking to define perfect mediocrity in restaurant form. And I'm looking at chains because I love mom and pops too much. I'm not here to put them on blast. Corporations can handle it, but objectively, I do love these places. Even some of the places that have scored pretty low, like- Shonies?

Well, screw Shonies. But a Cinnabon has a 4.19, because just as an overall restaurant experience, the service isn't anything to write home about, the ambiance isn't, but it's still a delicious treat that I love. So the scores on here don't reflect how much I actually like have a passion. But when you're comparing it to a Mastro's, they're just, they deserve to be five

points apart on the tchotchke. 100%. So I'm looking for the perfect five point double zero. Currently it's Cracker Barrel sitting there in the middle. I'm trying to define mediocrity because it's okay to be mediocre, and I want people to acknowledge that. You should tell my mom that. My mom's having to cope with it.

So the fact that you're so mediocre. I don't know why. Your mom has to cope with me being mediocre. Yeah, yeah. I'm joined this week by Adam Macias, the host of the That Was Wild podcast, a show where people come on tell their own wild Stories and we try to have a wild time while doing it. I went on it in early July Yes, and it was a lot of fun. I really enjoyed coming on your podcast with you

It was a wild time. I talked about not breaking and entering but definitely trespassing in the name of Pokemon go Yeah, don't know don't listen to him. He did something illegal, folks. This guy with the nice smile and fine dining. He's a criminal. He's a criminal. Even though I'm looking for mediocrity, in this show coming up next month,

I've got my annual September-ger tournament, the one month out of the year, my birthday month, where I am looking for the best of something. And so September is an eight restaurant burger bracket, single elimination. Fill out your brackets by the second week of September before that second episode drops for a chance to win $500.

That's great. All you gotta do is get this bracket correct. Get it correct, folks. So I'm very excited to do Septemberger. I've got a championship belt to crown. Last year's winner, Outback Steakhouse has its own special side plate. I don't feel like pulling this off,

but if you look on it, you'll see there's an Outback Steakhouse thing. He wore it the entire time during my podcast. I held it the entire time. Anyways, in this show, when we're reviewing restaurants, we're looking at three criteria for them. We're gonna rate these restaurants based on their atmosphere. Based on their service.

And based on their food. Mmm, yummy, yummy, yummy. Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. Spice. That might be my favorite thing a guest has done when I just go, yummy, yummy, yummy, just to see what you do with it. Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom.

Fine dining party of two. We've been talking too long. Our table is finally ready. Let's hear the theme song and jump on in. Your table is ready. Follow me. Have you tried our chicken breast? Serving pancakes and ribs.

I recommend the spaghetti. We're here to satisfy, not to impress. Your table is ready. Complementary butter and bread These walls have growth signs Knick-knack cowboy hat, good luck cat Altograph guitar, some crap from your city Behold the tchotchke of mediocrity

Fine dining Just fine dining Fine dining Two letters on the sign are shining Neon flickering irregular timing Identify the perfect bite Identify the perfect bite Two letters on the sign are shining, neon flickering, irregular timing. Identify the perfect bite. G-PALATEN

Fine dining. Fine dining. Atmosphere. I was running a couple minutes late. I was like there on the dot, but I was stressed because usually I'm a little early. We take, don't, don't just take advantage of the fact that you have a single camera where you can blink for help to the audience. But like, I kind of rushed, so I didn't get to take it all in. It's fine. I had to go to the bathroom.

I let you have your moment. But there's a koi pond. It was! Right out front, and it has like a little, it goes inside too. That's so cool. I love that choice. Yeah, it's like they have their own like, swimable bar. You know, you go to like, you know, you go to like a, like one of those.

You should not get in this In this water. It is very dirty. I know but gosh it would it looks so it looks so inviting Yeah, it's it's a great vibe to like just big orange bright fish. Yes here. Yeah Yeah, walk in the restaurant is dim In like in like a romantic setting kind of way. We were there at 1030. No No, 1.30. We were there at 1.30 in the afternoon. Wait. No. We were there at 11.30. One of the ones.

We were there at some point. At some point. We were there at 11.30. It was dark as crap in there. You can. Like it's dark as shit in there. I don't know why I was trying to hide it. Actually, you know what?

I'm going to take it back. You can't say that. It's not that the word's not allowed to be said on this show, but I don't like the way you say it. It was, it just felt so, you know, I shouldn't be swearing in that how nice the place was. I'll just go back on the Koi Pond thing. I think it instantly adds a level of,

a higher level of atmosphere by having that. Sure. Not many places do that. I feel like that was like a thing in the 90s that would like random office buildings would have like Koi ponds in them and stuff like that. Not restaurants. And it's like, it's classy. Now I also, when I walked by, noticed that there was

a skewer overhead with meats. And we'll kind of get to that later, but I just want to establish that there was very much a view into the kitchen. There's a very outward facing kitchen. Open kitchen. There's a sushi bar at the end. And sushi chefs rolling sushi's.

But there was definitely a skewer with meat roasting on it. There definitely was, folks. And that's important. And that's important to note. Put a pin in that. Put a pin in that. And then we rushed to our table and we sit down. This is like a nice leather.

Like the seats, I was very comfortable in these booths. It didn't feel like, you know, sometimes you're just like, my leg's kinda getting sore, like the pant leg rubbing against it. This was just like a very comfortable booth. Yeah, you know what? And I didn't take it for granted. I didn't, I took it for granted.

I didn't notice it right away. I didn't I took it for granted I didn't notice it right away I did notice that you can always tell the difference between like the booth seat to table ratio You know like sometimes there's like a big gap in between the table and like the the seat So somebody has to go lean, you know I like a table that kind of comes up to me a little bit as opposed to like And I think it was a good ratio. You don't want to have to lean too far forward to I like it to be like a high chair a little bit like if to like, and I think it was a good ratio. You don't want to have to lean too far forward to... I like it to be like a high chair a little bit. Like if I've got food falling...

I want to feel encased in the table. And that's kind of what it was. It was nice. I felt that. It seemed purposeful. Yeah. I don't have much to complain about with this. No. Candlelight on the table, they had a little silver dome that had the sugars and sweeteners for coffee old school You know like from an old diner. Yeah. Yeah, totally but clean reflective Everything here was immaculate. Yeah, it's great. We can talk about the art a little bit

Yeah, is this the part where we can do the thing now or do you want to do it later? So this was the part that was maybe a little too much. Okay. So yeah, you want to award this week's? This is way too much. Okay, so yeah, you won an award this week's This Is Way Too Much award. This is Way Too Much. I feel like the art seemed to be a little too much. You pointed out immediately. There was what looked like a giant egg. Yeah, yeah.

With a cow spot pattern on it maybe. It was black and white of some sort. Maybe it was zigzag. It was, yeah, like like a cow spot pattern on it. Maybe it's like black and white of some sort Maybe it was zigzag. It was yeah, like a weird like something you would have seen it Like if you ever go into like a random hotel room there's like little like those little balls on top of like a like a Table in the living room. It looked like that but like Maximized, you know like blown up It's also where like the waiters would stand kind of watch to like scope out for like oh who needs help right now

But it looks like they were guarding it. Yeah, it's almost like is that like super it looks like Superman's Escape pod that they were guarding me it looked like a villain was gonna hatch yes 100% yes. Yeah, yeah Yeah, I agree just like the art taste in here very modern I didn't dislike looking at it, but it was certainly a choice and one that I would say was way too much. Totally. Way too much! A lot of different art styles

on like the paintings and pictures on the wall. I saw one on the far side that was just like an abstract, almost Rorschach-esque black shape, maybe like an oval or something. But then next to it is a painting of a bear, and then just like an actual photo of like a ski lodge. And I was like, none of these go together. It seemed weird.

Yeah, yeah. It didn't seem, that's the only part. They're disparate. Yeah, yeah. Not purposeful. It's almost like tchotchkes, or like if Cracker Barrel, you know, wasn't made out of people on meth, you know? Like they picked it, you know, wasn't made out of people on meth, you know,

like, like they picked it. Cracker Barrel is made out of people on meth or by people on meth. Both. Both. It's just a building constructed from the bones of meth heads. Yeah. If Cracker Barrel is like where people like the what's decorated is out of a yard sale. Yeah. This was like decorated out of like maybe an art thief's estate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the estate sale. That's what it was. Yeah. Like, oh, just take this. It's nice. You know, yeah. My eyes enjoyed it. Yeah.

It was a nice nothing here. Texan for a place called Houston's. There was nothing Texan about this. You would think you would think. I wonder if there was a part in their history where they would all wear like cowboy hats and stuff. Yeah. Now, I did notice the Pokemon fan in me, the light fixtures in here,

how long did you play Pokemon for? Like, well, I played it growing up. Right. Yeah, yeah. Just first generation, or did you do golden silver as well? Did not do golden silver, no. Okay. So there's a Pokemon named Pineco,

which is basically like a big pine cone, and he's like forest green, or like a dark greenish silver almost. And he has a shiny form that is like gold. Okay. And almost exactly the light fixtures here looked like shiny pine cones. Oh yeah, I know what you're talking about. Yeah, yeah. That was strange. It was kind of cool though. I didn't mind it.

But again, it was just a big artistic choice. I liked it. It did work for me just a big artistic choice. I liked it. It did work for me. Nothing about being in here stressed me out. And it was pretty loud. That tells me, wow, people really, really like going here. In the middle of the day on a Thursday, it was packed. And based on the Yelp,

there are over 3,000 Yelp reviews. When I was looking through the Yelp reviews for Yelp from Strangers, over 3000. It's so crazy to me because I would never would have gone there. It seems like, it's not like a lunch place to me. Like that's a steak going to take my mom who's visiting in town or like going to like a, maybe an important lunch with a boss or something like that. Pitching a screenplay. Pitching something like, Oh, I'm in Pasadena, can you meet me here? Let's go somewhere nice.

It's not even like in the business sector of Pasadena, which doesn't make any sense. It's so, it's strange. It's kind of hard to turn into. Like you don't end up at Houston, you deliberately go to Houston. Because Arroyo is so hard to like do U-turns and stuff. Like there's no direct left turn into it.

So you have to like go all the way around through the block and stuff. Yeah, no direct left turn into it. So you have to like go all the way around through the block and stuff, yeah. Yeah, so I really liked the inside of Houston. Do you wanna talk about the bathroom? Oh yeah, okay, so I had a few espresso's before. No, so I actually do like grading a restaurant based off their bathroom, you can really tell. Solely. Just can really tell.

Solely. Just solely on food. No, but here's my take on it, is that it's a smaller scale. But I would say it's a bathroom is a bathroom is a bathroom, but there's definitely bad bathrooms, right? So like, there's not gonna be a 10 star bathroom in my opinion.

I think a bathroom should just always be at an eight. There's not going to be anything that's going to surprise me. If you're going to a 10, it's kind of a creepy bathroom. The 10 bathroom is one that's trying too hard, which I've been to a few of those where they like try to be fancy with the sinks. I like what there's this one like place in Glendale that closed now. Thank God it was a sushi place, but the sink was just a square tab

and on the sides of it was the drain. So the water would just pour onto a flat surface. And it's like, calm down, dude, it's a bathroom. Why do we need art for a bathroom, stuff like that. So I feel like at the end of the day, this is a good bathroom. It's functional. It's functional, that's So I feel like at the end of the day, this is a good bathroom. It's functional. It's functional.

That's all I needed to be. Yeah. And yeah, I gave it a seven, which is, you know, that's good. Yeah. It's good. Seven is the max. It's never gonna be more than that.

Right, right, right. For me. Now, one thing I do wanna note, and I wouldn't note this if you said it once, but right when we sat down, you said, I'm gonna go hit the head. Yeah. I think it's a cooler I'm gonna go hit the head. I think it's a cooler way of saying,

go in the bathroom or going wee wee. And then later, when I think you were trying to give me the cue to say something that it was your birthday and I just spaced. No, that's not what I was doing. I legitimately had to take a shit. Well, you still said, I'm gonna go hit the head. Yes, yes, yes.

And then today when you got here, you said, I'm gonna go hit the head. So you have firmly established that your phrasing is go hit the head. Yes, yes, yes. And then today when you got here, you said I'm gonna go hit the head. So you have firmly established that your phrasing is go hit the head. And I've heard it before, but I never thought about it. And I was like, does it mean like, I'm going to flick the tip of my penis?

What the fuck? That what? Like, I don't know. What is the head? What is the head? It's a nautical term, I believe. Well, so when you were in there, I googled it. And yes, it is like a naval term that means the bathroom.

And it can mean take a number one or a two. But I thought it was literally only a number one and only if you're a dude that has a penis head. I feel like, okay, let's peel this back a little bit. Is that, we gotta ask, do you flick your penis when you go to the bathroom? No, which is another reason why I'm like, that's weird. You think I'm just describing how I go to the bathroom?

Hey, I'm gonna go flick my dick in your commode. But I know it's a common term. And then I got to thinking like, that's really graphic for a colloquial term. Hey, I'm gonna go jugging my balls. Yeah, I don't know. But I was just like, that's obscene the more I think about it. And then I looked it up and I was like, oh, it's not. And I just misinterpreted.

So wild. That's good. There is one other thing that really struck me about this experience. We're looking at the menu. You didn't wish me happy birthday. Is that the part that struck you. That didn't occur to me. I am genuinely sorry. No, no, you're good. Should we say that? We haven't actually said it. So when we went to this, one reason why we chose this was because I was like, oh, it's actually my birthday on the day of this recording.

Right. I offered you a couple of options. Panera was one of them. Houston's was one of them. But I picked a few places in Pessadine. I was like, pick, these Panera was one of them. Houston's was one of them, but I picked a few places in Pasadena. I was like, pick, you know, these are the episodes I have upcoming if you wanna. And I was like, oh, we could do this. Or it's my birthday. And you said in the email, it's gonna be my birthday. But like we planned this like two months ahead of time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wasn't expecting you to. So yeah, it's all good. I really dropped the ball though. I did say it in the beginning. And he was like, you're like, oh, thank you for reminding me, let's do that. I was Yeah. I really dropped the ball though. I did say it in the beginning and he was like you're like Oh, thank you for reminding me. Let's do that I was like I love seeing what restaurants do for birthdays I truly because as a as a server for various places we do there's 10 traditions different traditions

Like some of them aren't allowed to say happy birthday some of them like do so because of like There was like a time where people were afraid to sing happy birthday because of the people that own the rights to the song suing them. But I think, like, I think it like people slowly realize like, no, they don't have people. No, this isn't like Les Mis where people are like checking on, you know, the productions of Happy Birthday to make sure that they're to code or whatever. So like Cold Stone would do their own version. I was like, I wonder what version they're going to do. And you immediately correct me, which is probably the correct way. But we'll never know that they actually

probably don't sing Happy Birthday at a nice place like that. Probably not, not in a kitschy way. No. But yeah, no, I drop the ball. We'll never know. We can just go back sometime and lie. We should actually. They don't card you.

Yeah, I'm totally fine with it, honestly. It's totally fine. it's totally fine. So on their menu, they had California artichokes. They have a whole list, starters, sushi, entrees, sides, desserts, drinks, all that. And it was featured very, it was like a big chunk on the menu. It was a big portion. It wasn't in a larger font, but it got a larger real estate. Yeah. And apparently this is one of the things they're known for. And you look at all the starters and it describes what they are and it gets

their price. Yeah. We look at this menu and it says California artichokes. I don't, I'm not a big artichoke guy, so I'm not reading further. I just see the name and I move on. Yeah. And then the waitress comes over and you're ordering the starters that you want and you're like, put me in for the artichokes.

Yes. She was like, oh, oh, actually, we don't have those anymore. They're not in season. And then like a magic trick of the thing that's been in front of your face the whole time She points to it on the menu and you look and it says not available anymore Like it's like a Bernstein Bear situation. Yeah, was it always there? I'm sure I saw a price and a description of the thing, but no it just says we're not serving this right now Out of season why you changed your menu to do that and I even just remove it I

Yeah, exactly. I even laughed in the moment was like wait. It's printed on here that it's not available like why? Why not just why there's something that this makes me wonder? Yes, this makes me wonder a very specific question. Yes, it makes me wonder what's going on over there? Hey Adam, yeah, what's going on over there? Why would they bother putting this on the menu and then just pull the rug out from underneath us? I think that they are very insecure about the fact they're just a stake place. They want to be known for more than that. But what if they want to be known as the place who like makes you want what you

can't have? It keeps you coming back. Yes. Yes. Yes. To make sure to see if it's back. Is the artichoke here this time? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And then they put plants in there who say, oh yeah, I've had the artichokes, they're great. But they've never had artichokes. What if the whole thing is a Psyop to make you want artichokes? They put pictures of them on Yelp.

The lighting fixtures look like artichokes. All the weird egg things are kind of artichokes. They're trying to implant, we are the artichoke place. Sorry, you're gonna have to come back next time. That's why they have over 3,000 Yelp reviews. Maybe they're gaslighting, do artichokes even exist? Have you ever seen an artichoke? Have you ever seen an artichoke?

And then really ask yourselves, look again, because it probably isn't in season. It's actually a pine cone. It's actually a bird. It's the Pokemon that season. It's actually a pine cone. It's actually burned. It's the Pokemon that looks like a pine cone, pine cone. And you're like, oh, this isn't a vegetable at all. It's actually Bernstein and Mandela died in prison. And that is in fact, what's going on over there.

There was a pretty big bar. This place was packed and loud while never, I never felt like I had to raise my voice to talk. Like the sound isolation per booth seemed pretty good. So it was a comfortable atmosphere, honestly, between the art, the vibes of everything. I'm going two thumbs up on the atmosphere here. There's not like when you're comparing this to a no thumbs restaurant or even a one thumb up, far and away, two thumbs up.

100% too. Service. We had three interactions with people that worked there. There was the hostess that seated us. There was our server and there was the, I guess, chef. Chef slash manager. Chef slash manager. Chef slash manager. Yeah.

We'll start with the hostess who sat us down and was like, can I get you anything to drink? Yeah. And you asked for a seltzer. And she looked at you like she has never heard that phrase before. She panicked. She had beer in her eyes.

Yeah, she's like, what do you mean? And you're like. Like a soda water. Like a soda water. She's like, oh, a sparkling water? Sure, I don't know. It was like, what do you mean? And you're like, like a soda water, like a soda water. She was like, oh, a sparkling water. Sure. I don't know. It was like, it's fine. Like I'm this isn't a negative interaction, but it is so weird to me that someone in the restaurant industry is like, I have not ever heard the term seltzer.

Yeah. Yeah. For seltzer water. It's it was what I personally, I didn't know she was our hostess because this is something I was a little tricked by was that she was dressed in my opinion like a waiter? I think she even had like an apron on her yeah, she's dressed in all blushy or something like that I didn't see the apron I did see the all black all black right which to me says waiter as opposed to Hostess like when I've worked at all of garden or rather restaurants and been to other restaurants. There's like a different dress Yeah, they usually they wear like a white shirt.

It comes off as I'm not your waiter. And I legitimately, I was like, wait, I didn't even know if I was supposed to be ordering with her to be honest. Right, yeah. And so it was just a little thing. I was like, that's odd. Then you went to hit the head

and our waitress, our server came by. Her name was Alina. Yes, oh, okay. Very nice, very pleasant. Yeah, she seemed cool. Present for the most part. Yeah. And came by enough, gave recommendations.

Yeah, she was even cool about being like- And very on point about one of those recommendations. Yeah, totally. We'll talk about it in the food, but- Yeah, yeah, I mean, we even asked her, what's your opinion on this? She even was aware of what didn't have she's in it. Yes. She was very cool.

We even had like a fun like report about like her pen and stuff like that, because I want to borrow the pen and then you're like, I've been a server. I know that this is important to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I will return it. Which, by the way, I then you handed it off like a baton, like an Olympic torch. Exactly. I said, oh, you're leaving for your break here. Have your pen back because I know it's that important. The pen, she said, we're only allowed leaving for your break here. Have your pen back. Cause I know it's that important. The pen.

She said, we're only allowed to have, we have to have four on us at all times. Yeah. Like that is part of the uniform. I, I, oh, I got you. I interpreted it as, as I have four pens per day. And I like, no, they like, they know four pens is the uniform. Yeah. It's part of it. Yeah. Yeah. Honestly. And like at a nicer place, I do appreciate that level of detail. Yeah, totally. Um, she recommended, uh, we're not going to like talk about the actual food, but one of the best things we had was the Tai tuna roll.

This place had sushi on the menu and it doesn't seem like the type of place you go for sushi. 100%. This will be a place that I want to go back to for sushi. Really? That's a big sushi person. I like sushi. Okay, cool. Yeah. Yeah. I thought, yeah, I thought it was great. Well we'll get to that but yeah, I agree. She did go on break at some point, you know, because we took our time, we were there a while and to fill in the, I don't know if he was the head chef, but a chef.

A chef. But may have been a head chef. She said manager. She said the manager will take over, but he was wearing what looked like a chef uniform. have been head chef. He said manager. Man, he said the manager will take over. Yes. But he was wearing what looked like a chef uniform. Definitely a chef. Presumably a white like a white chef smock. Yeah, very nice guy.

And the jig was up at that point, like they knew we were reviewing them. Yeah, we had our other notebooks and we're writing and I was asking very specific. What would you rate like mediocre? Yeah. What side is the most mediocre? Yeah, yeah. and they're like interest That was like an interesting question. Yeah, and yeah, so I think that's why they brought the manager over I'm assuming right? So it kind of it did paint the rest of the experience, but I only will admit that I'm reviewing a restaurant Once the service has already established itself at two stars

Like I don't want to give you the edge to be like, oh pick up your acts, you know Get to two not two stars. You're thumbs't want to give you the edge to be like, oh, pick up your act, you know, get to two, not two stars, two thumbs up. Two thumbs up. Yeah, yeah. So like once you've already established that, sure, I'll tell you, I'm reviewing you because you're probably not gonna drop the ball

from that point forward. Watch they be, they just tank it after that. Yeah, yeah. Drop all your food on you and then just instead of apologize, be like, that's right. I will say that said, he did kind of whiff it a little bit. The guy, the manager, you know, like a.

With a weird detail that I asked him that we referenced earlier. Yeah, yeah. So I was asking, cause again, I felt like I rushed in and I didn't get to take in the whole environment, but I did notice the rotisserie thing and I was like, I know they're known for prime rib, are they roasting the prime rib?

Or like, you know, how are they preparing it? Cause I could have sworn it was like a beef meat that I saw. Yeah, like a, almost like a vert, like a horizontal kebab. Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, what's, what's the meat over there? That's like skewering. He was like, we don't have any meat skewers. So we've never had artichokes.

Yeah, exactly. They're just like gaslighting you. Yeah, you're, oh my gosh, that's what they're known for because they gaslighted What's Your Name into like it not being the salmon from last time. That's right. Holy shit. That was in the Patreon only part of Yelp from Strangers last week.

So if you join my Patreon, you'll be able to hear that story. But there were some good Yelp stories. Yeah, there was. There was basically a woman who got sick from the salmon and then called HR and they were like, there's no way you got so from the salmon. She's like, it's the only thing I ate that day. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So gaslighting. Gaslighting and like they have nothing to do with Texas, but they're called Houston's. There's something. A lot of dishonesty.

Something's all right. Um, but I mean, super nice guy, but yeah, he like, didn't know. And then eventually he was like, they're chickens. And then when we left, I did confirm that. Okay. Yeah, those are roasting chickens, but it's just like a weird, it's like not knowing the then eventually he was like they're chickens. Yes, and then when we left I did confirm that Okay. Yeah, those are roasting chickens, but it's just like a way. It's like not knowing the term seltzer. Yeah. Yeah I was like wait It's like how just it's weird to think you described it as even if you're using the wrong phrasing You pretty much said the meat that's hanging out in the front, right? Yeah, and I pointed you pointed over there That guy's station. Oh, no, dude. No, and I pointed. You pointed over there. It's at that guy's station.

Oh no, dude, that didn't happen. Mandela died in prison. You know? And then he's like, oh, the chicken. And I could tell, I felt bad for him, he was a good guy. I could tell that he realized he was being a little ditzy in that moment. He's like, pfft, of course, the chicken, obviously.

Yeah, well, because I was wondering if it's like part of the process of this like prime rib that everyone raves about. Yeah. Uh, so to find out it was chicken, I was like, okay, I don't really care as much anymore, but I was curious. And then when I passed by, I'm like, oh yeah, that's obviously chicken. It felt like when you took a picture of it, it was like, it was a spiteful, I'm gonna do this is here.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, super nice guy. And then they comped our dessert. So it kind of made up for the fact that we didn't tell them it's your birthday. They comped our dessert, brought us both free espresso.

This is why I tell you I told them it was your birthday. Yeah. Um, what if I didn't tell you, but it was? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, and then they gave us, they comped free espressos. I don't drink espresso, so you drank two, which you really had to hit the head again after that. I really Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah up category. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The only thing I would say, I would be interested to know because we were one of their first customers of the day.

Yeah. I would be interested to see like mid dinner rush to see how well it is. Can they hold up? Can they? But this was a rush, so I will say like- Lunch rush. Yeah.

People are more energetic in the day, you know what I'm saying? Like some of them maybe just, you know, like they're starting their day that way. And people can really hang onto a table for dinner. Yeah. Like you can sit at a dinner table for two hours. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Lunch, we're like, we want to kind of get out.

You tend to move a little faster. Yeah. So I will say like, it's an asterisk. Like I, you know, I need more, need more info, but my experience was two. But all we have to rate on is the context that we had and within that context, two thumbs up. Yeah, yeah, two. Food. Yum. Food.

Yum. Yummy. I looked at the starters list, it's like, okay, we'll just get sushi. And then you're like, I'm gonna add three appetizers. But your boy likes Tizers, ladies and gentlemen. So we got deviled eggs. Yeah.

The warm bread plate, which was actually my pitch. And then we wanted the artichokes, but they didn't have them. So we ended up with two. And then. And then a Thai tuna roll. And then I got one that you didn't partake in. Oh, that's right. You got the artichokes but they didn't have them so we ended up with two and then and then a ty tuna roll and then no and then I got one that you didn't partake in oh that's right you got the artichoke dip artichoke dip spinach artichoke which has in it which has yeah I forgot you had because

I didn't even touch it yeah I had like a little bit of salsa and there was a white sauce it was sour cream sorry yeah how was it it was fine like it was it that was probably the most mid thing that was there and not in a good way as opposed to your show. I would say I would give it, can I rate it? Yeah. I would give it a five. It was, it's no different than any other artichoke I've ever had.

It was just a baseline spinach artichoke tip. Spinach, yes. Was it even artichoke or was it just spinach? Was it spinach artichoke? Those motherfuckers. They got us. They got us the artichoke somehow. It must have been, no it was spinach artichoke. It motherfuckers. They got us. They got us the artichoke somehow. It must have been, no it was spinach artichoke.

You may have just been a spinach shit. I'm pretty sure it was spinach artichoke. Yeah I think it was. What in the hell? No, but I would, as opposed to literally every other place I've had it, it's exactly the same. So five. Five. All right, five.

We got deviled eggs. I had never had deviled eggs before in my life. I'm sorry those were the ones you, those are the first ones. I didn't think these were terrible for like an intro thing to like just understand what it kind of tastes like. My dude, there's so many better versions of that.

I believe it, I believe it. I didn't know what to expect though. This almost had like a sweetness to it despite having pickles and pickles being kind of an inherently sour food. Yeah, yeah. In a way that like, I will eat deviled eggs again. despite having pickles and pickles being kind of an inherently sour food, in a way that like, I will, I will eat deviled eggs again. I will venture into the world of deviled eggs again. That said, this wasn't like my favorite thing, but I went, I went like a 6.5 out of 10.

Now keep in mind the ratings are not against other deviled eggs. It's this food against all foods. Yes. So like, yeah. So 6.5 out of 10 to me is like, it's a good food. Okay. It's not like it's a little bit above what I'd call average. Yes. I will give this a negative five. I legitimately thought-

Did you hate this? I hated it. It was, speaking of gaslighting and like disassociation, I was like, what the fuck am I eating? This is gas station deviled eggs. That's what I'm telling you right now. I was expecting something that was gonna wow my brain ordering this, because I've been in nice restaurants that had deviled eggs

and I was expecting an extra level of tear. And I was wickedly disappointed. What's crazy to me, and we'll get into this when we do our final ratings. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Your scale is unreasonable. It truly is. I have been to some nicer places.

But that's what nines and tens are for. Truly. Something can be an eight and still not be amongst the nines and tens and still be high. I think to me, I'm rating it on in comparison to the rest of their food. This was from like a different restaurant. This was like they, my grandma tapped rest of their food, this was from like a different restaurant. This was like they, my, my grandma tapped in on the, on their food, you know, like I love my grandma's food,

but she did not, she's not a professional chef in comparison to the rest of that. So shout out to my grandma, but you make bad deviled eggs. Gotcha. What's funny is when we ate these, you said, this reminds me of my grandma's deviled eggs. And I thought nothing of it. I thought that was a compliment because most people love their grandparents, but apparently not. Oh, shit. Terrible taste.

Yeah. Mayonnaise on everything. It's great. All right. Well, that's a very big disparity between us. Is that your first negative review? Like negative number? Look, my scale doesn't go to negatives. You have to bottom it zero. Negative zero. I give it a zero. All right. Yeah.

And then the warm bread plate. So this was like a thick cut of like a focaccia, like a focaccia rosemary bread griddled with oil and little blackened, yeah. Little char and served with a triangle of butter with oil and a little blackened. Yeah, a little char. And served with. A triangle of butter that you thought was a stuffed olive and some like nuts.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't touch anything but the bread, but I do. It looked like the you would get it like a Starbucks like a plate. You know, just want to point that out. And you're like, we were like like you were like dibs on the cheese And you go and you just look for try to grab it full bricked of in there But yeah, yeah, I thought this bread was really good So it reminded me there's a place in Los Angeles called cheese Spocka CHI SPA CCA

I asked them it means to cleave and it's a butcher Oh, it's like a you go you get like an Australian rib eye or whatever. But it's like Italian meat. It's like an Italian butcher butcher restaurant. Yeah. And they serve probably the best bread I've ever had. And they prepare it this exact same way. And I went for Valentine's Day 2022, I think. May have been oh, three, 23 with my girlfriend.

And we sat at the griddle. Oh, cool. Like we sat, watched the chef make our food. And yeah, they just throw bread on a griddle, oil, salt, and it just turns out perfectly. And this reminded me of that. The bread didn't have as full or rich of a flavor here, but then the rosemary kind of blossoms on the back end.

Once you've already swallowed it, you get that taste of rosemary. So while this was reminiscent of the best bread I've ever had in my life, that, you know, if you're going negative five on something, the bread that I would go a 15 out of 10 on. That said, even though this wasn't that, it was still very pleasant. I went eight point five out of ten on this bread. that, it was still very pleasant. I went 8.5 out of 10 on this bread. I thought it was great too. I went eight, I loved it. I was a little thrown off by the blackened

because I've never had like a, it added a level of like extra crunch, I would say, on it, but yeah, I thought it was great. Eight for sure, it was delicious. Yeah, no, it was very good. And of the starters, I thought it was great. Eight, eight for sure. It was, it was delicious. Yeah. No, it was very good. And, uh, of the starters, probably the strongest official starter. Yeah, definitely. But then kind of as a starter on our server's recommendation, we got the Thai tuna roll.

And this had toasted coconut in it. And I think there was some nuts. Yeah. It was so unique. I have never had a sushi that tasted like this. 100%. It had a crunch to it, but not in a tempura way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was inside of it rather than outside.

And I think it was the coconut, but it may have been... There was maybe a... Was it macadamia or pistachio or something like that? I think it might have been macadamia. Because they were using that kind of throughout different spots. Whatever it was, was perfect. Yes. Or close to it. I thought it was a great.

It was so fresh. Just kind of like the flavors that were, I love a food that like hits you on, you know, on the back end, the front end, like there's various things that are happening. We're getting texture, we're getting the first mouth feel, we're getting like all that stuff. I thought it was really good.

I think, honestly, I mean, it was all there's, we'll get to it later, but top tier for me. Yeah. So what'd you score it? 10. 10 out of 10. Yeah. So no complaints, nothing you do different. This is a perfect little thing for you.

No notes. For what it was. And I went nine and a half out of 10, very close to perfection. Yeah. Still no notes, but just I've tasted things where I was like, yeah, I like it more than this. Or at least it's in a tier that I'm like, yeah slightly more

That's the thing about me. If I love it, it's a 10 if it if I don't love it you you're dead to me What's funny because I have a show about settling in a middle ground and you're like, nope, I want nothing with that I'm all about it wild extremes. Yeah. All right. So then we split Two entrees and got two sides with those. So we got the Hawaiian, which was one of their prime ribs with a soy glaze and then a side of coleslaw with that. Which was recommended by our wait-waiter. As the most mediocre side. Because they both came with french fries.

Yes, and then a french dip with french fries. So I got a french dip au jus. So let's talk about the sides first. Yeah. Cold slaw, crisp, not too wet, unlike the Popeyes that I had in my last episode. She said this was gonna be mediocre, and honestly, this is a very strong cold slaw.

I'm not a fan of cold slaw at all. Like speaking of like grandma food, it reminds me of like, people mess it up so well. And I, first thing I said to you, I was like, I didn't know coleslaw was really supposed to taste like that. Yeah. It tastes like the-

It tasted like the fresh cabbage. The lettuce you would get in like a good burger. Like it was just without the- You did say that, yeah. You felt like this feels like what goes on a burger. Like I wanted to put it on the au jus. Like I felt like that would have been a good move. Sure. But it was totally fine on its own.

Like a fried chicken sandwich with this slaw on it. Yeah. Yeah. Like a national style. The gas litters again. Yeah. It was not a five. It was not a meat. No. Well, but this is more of a judgment thing than a gas lighting. She just didn't love it. Yeah. I think she's wrong. I go eight out of ten on this coleslaw. I said eight as well. Yeah, it was really good. But we can still talk about mediocrity. The french fries were kind of like a fancy restaurant version of In-N-Out fries.

Yes. And what's funny is I saw a Yelp review that was like, I love these french fries. They remind me of In-N-Out. Oh, there you go. And so you find someone that loves In-N-Out is gonna love these fries. But as we all know, In-N-Out. Oh, there you go. And so you find someone that loves In-N-Out is gonna love these fries. But as we all know, In-N-Out's fries are not their forte.

People love them. You're sitting back because you're prepared. People love them. I don't mind them. I eat them. I think I... But they're not good. The fries are...

They get soggy so quick. So quick. You need to eat them there for in and out. Yes. And you can ask for well done. Oh really? And they'll throw it in a little bit longer and then you do get a little bit more crisp. It still doesn't fully salvage them to be like a good or great fry.

Yeah. But they are better. Yeah. I think, yeah, these were lesser in and out fries, which is a huge slam. You know what I mean? They were not salted. They had no real, they were literally just- There was no seasoning. I would have loved some salt and pepper and it would have knocked them up. Knocked them up, gotten them pregnant.

I'm going to go four out of 10 on these fries. I went three. Yeah. They were- They just weren't- They're not insulting. Yeah, but You know, you're not gonna eat them and be like, oh, I'm glad yes This is the thing I got I honestly probably would have rated them worse had I not been It was I had tried all the other things and then had that I was like I think I was still feeling like a level of joy from the other things that I had right I'll give it a pass. Sure. I think the deviled eggs will live. A three, a pass. Yeah, yeah, with the deviled eggs, it was like the first thing we ate,

I was wickedly disappointed. We're just establishing that your scale goes from negative five to 10. I'm a man of extremes. And then the entrees, let's start with the French Dip au jus, because you said you've never had a French Dip before. Never, and it was amazing.

See, I thought that this was good for a French Dip, but the bread on it just didn't feel like... So I was born in Chicago, and I love the Portillo's Italian beef sandwich, and that bread right there, it's such a soft, absorbent, catches all the juices. This bread honestly had a little... It made too much of itself known.

Like, it was a little too hard. It wasn't like hard bread, it wasn't stale in any way. But I wanted it like fully softer and absorb the juices and then you get like a juicy bread as part of the experience the further you go. That's how I envision a French dip, that's how I envision an Italian beef sandwich. See I had never had aju and I had imagined

that it was going to be very hard bread. And so when it was, this was to me pretty soft. It was soft. It wasn't like, it was mostly the crust on the bread, like the outside that I felt was like- It was a little brown, yeah. A little brown. Yeah, yeah.

But still a tasty French bread, and in other contexts, I could see myself loving this bread. I just didn't feel like this bread was the right bread for this sandwich. Okay. That said, put some horseradish on there, dip it in the enjoo. The meat was very tender and, uh, and juicy. Yeah.

This was a good sandwich. Like I'm not knocking this sandwich at all. In fact, I'm giving it a seven and a half out of 10, but I see room for improvement. And with those small changes from my palette It could reach like eight nine ten. Nice, but seven and a half as is nice. Nice. Nice. I gave it a nine I thought it was and for an intro to aju. Yeah. Yeah French dip. I thought it was I was like I was blown away I I'm not a big Meat sandwich sort of person like I'll take a turkey, you know, like a whatever.

Yeah. But this I'm not like a red meat sandwich. Like I hate roast beef sandwiches. I think it's terrible. Yeah. Roast beef probably isn't. It's probably one of the last sandwiches I'm going for. Yeah. And so I was kind of expect. I didn't know what to expect with this. Really pleasantly surprised. Yeah. Very tasty. Yeah.

And then we got prime rib, but not just their primary because they have both versions, they have primary and they have what they call the Hawaiian, which is a soy glazed version of presumably the same primary, but it's just seasoned differently prepared, uh, roughly the same, but, uh, different sauces and stuff, different flavor profile. I liked it a lot. I thought that the soy glaze had, it pulled it together. It had so much mileage gotten out

of just this one flavor profile. Yes. It blended with the meat. It was served a little bit on the rarer side. We got it medium rare, not in a way that was too detriment. In fact, I thought the meat was very tender, not to a point of being like grossly too chewy or anything.

I thought they really knocked this one out of the park. Yeah. Great texture. The fat content on it was like the right amount to just have that, that flavor pockets that you get out of fat. And I love fat on a steak. Yeah. I don't know who, who complains about that.

Yeah. It's the best part. Yeah. It's actually my preferred part. I wouldn't take a steak that was all fat though. I do need that mixture. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like cutting into it and then like half of my bite is the fat and half lean.

That's probably a good ratio. Yeah, yeah. For me, which is what makes the edges. Yeah. So so tasty. Yeah, I thought this was delicious. I went nine and a half out of 10. Nice.

I went nine. I thought it was I thought the flavors were pretty, pretty strong. The the cut was, it was nice. It was not like a too big of a, I don't like a super thick steak sometimes because that can be its own level of too much red. I think it was kind of the perfect cut. And then the level, I just liked the glaze.

It just kind of melted, almost melted in my mouth, like the au jus in a way. It was very tasty it was very day They know how to do meat here. Yes They just don't know how to tell you what meat is Hanging up above. Yeah, exactly. And then for dessert. Well, actually they brought two things and I didn't taste the espresso How was their espresso? It's good. Yeah, there's nothing I was just taste like an espresso. Okay. Yeah quick quick little shots, bam. Did you have a score for them or no?

Oh, yeah, I'll give it like a five. Just a standard run of the mill. Yeah, nothing special about it. Did its job. Yeah. Didn't disappoint, didn't impress. Yeah. All right. And then we got a warm brownie, and this was comped. They had four dessert options,

and you were like, oh, I want them all. I was like, are you saying let's order four, or are you just saying that you have free reign? Did I say that? I legitimately don't remember. You said I want them all, but I don't know if you were saying let's order four, are you just saying that you have free reign? Did I say that? I legitimately don't remember. You said I want them all, but I don't know if you were saying let's order four or if you were just yielding to me to pick. Yeah. I don't feel like I was going to say, no, I definitely didn't want to order all four.

I was like, that's crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was between this and then they had like a Sunday, but the warm apple crumble would have been the one that would have been my other choice. I like the idea of a key lime pie. I've never had it before. Yeah. But something just like it seems refreshing. I'm sure it tastes terrible. But I'm sure it tastes terrible. Key lime. I don't know. What are those words?

That doesn't make any sense. What is that? It tastes like a house key. Yeah. What are we doing here? But yeah, I think, yeah, I would have liked to try it. I think just to be like, well, hey, we're experimenting. The au jus was a nice surprise, so maybe the key lime might be good, but it was fine. The brownie. Yeah, so despite all this talking about key lime,

we got the brownie. We got the warm brownie. Brownie. So it had a lot of almost whole nuts on it. I think it was pecans or maybe Brazil nuts or something. There were macadamia nuts for sure. I thought it was too nutty and I love nuts and stuff, but this, this was too nutty for me.

You got to go to the hit, hit the head. Got to go hit the head. And the chocolate was top tier. Yeah. And there was some sort of like, I don't think it had like a, some sort of alcohol infusion, but it tasted almost like there was like a, like a brandy or something like that in there. I still want seven and a half out of ten. This is good. Yeah, but

This brownie isn't getting me back to a Houston's like I'm not going to Houston's for the brownie. Yeah Yeah, I'll try a different dessert next time. It's not like PJ's pizookie, which is very unique and like yeah I'll go for that. Yeah. Yeah, I give this a five to be honest with you. I felt like really yeah Yeah, it did its job as far as dessert. Like, hey, get me out of the door. This is my last meal sort of thing. Make me not fit out the door. Yeah, exactly. I'm not a big nut person.

I actually really don't like nuts in there. Oh, OK. So I can see how that would lower this for you. I liked how it wasn't in. I don't think it was in the brownie. It was like weirdly underneath it. It was like on the top. At least not my half on top.

Yeah, I'm not a fan of it. Then like, I don't like fudge with like walnuts in it. Oh, I love that. Yeah, not a big fan of those. But despite that, I thought the overall, the presentation was good. It was a nice like little cut of it. Yeah, I give it a five.

Nothing to write home about. Overall on this food, again, two thumbs up for this place for me. Yes, one up. Yeah. That is all three of the categories, atmosphere service food. We got to put all this into a number, but before you tell me how Houston's lands for you.

Yeah. Look, I've been to like 80 restaurants for this show. Yes. I have a very calibrated scale. You do. I need you to calibrate your scale. I need to know what's your zero, what's your 10. So we're going to take a quick stop over at the calibration station. All right, let's hear. What's the worst restaurant experience you've ever had

that you would call a zero out of 10? Hooters, downtown LA. Right across the street from the Staples Center. Weirdest, craziest vibe I've ever had in my life. Yeah? It's gone now. Yeah, good. Good riddance. Good riddance.

Weirdest experience I've ever had. Food was like, what are we doing here? This doesn't, the women weren't, the waitresses obviously who were, women were like not paying attention to us. It's like, what are we, I felt. Oh, your fragile little male ego couldn't handle being ignored by a woman.

Yeah, exactly. But it was also like a weird level of like, when they showed up, they were saying, hey, fuck you guys. Like it was like, well, I thought the whole thing was like, they just didn't like your vibe. They just didn't like, yeah, it was very strange. It was like, I could have gotten this out of 7-Eleven. It was, it was microwave trash.

Yeah. No, that's my zero. That's my zero. That's your zero. It's a bad atmosphere, uninventive, exploitative of their weight staff, just like bad vibes. Sure. All right, and then your 10.

What's the best restaurant experience you've ever had? All right, so this one is a really good restaurant. It's called Manta in Cabo San Lucas. Okay. It is attached to the Cape Hotel. The head chef is Enrique Alvarez. His restaurant in Mexico City is ranked ninth in the world. This is his newest restaurant. It's in Cabo San Lucas. It is a- Where did you go if it's his newest thing? year or so. January twenty twenty three is where I went. And it is a fusion restaurant between Mexican, Peru and Japanese.

And when I say fusion, it is everything is fused. It is there is not one dish that is they all look like Frankenstein. Yeah, like welded together. It truly it is a work of every piece is its own work of art. Like it is a truly unique dining experience. I just got the five course meal highly suggest like the chef's selection type thing. Chef's selection they had chicharrones instead of chips. The ceviche ceviche with a B was a, yeah that's what they called it, was a very, like just unique,

they had a watermelon or a melon salad, just delicious. And what I think what drives it to a 10 for me is creativity and uniqueness, which is why, which you'll get later why I'm rating it where I'm rating it. Because to me, a 10 has to be something that is far beyond anyone's expectations. Well, you are properly calibrated now, so we can get into it. Yeah. Look, I know your number. Yes.

I'm not going to pretend that I'm hearing it for the first. Whoa. I might act surprised sometimes, but like I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what your original rating was in the restaurant and I talked you up from it because look, I get why you're 10 to 10. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know what your original rating was in the restaurant and I talked you up from it because Look, I get why your tens of ten. Yeah, do you but like I feel like you're fighting me on this Well, I am fighting you because you're trying to give it a six in comparison to your ten. Yes, but like What is a seven look like then? What is an eight look like then? What is a nine?

There is room for this place to be good and not be a 10. It doesn't look, 10 can be in the fricking stratosphere and eight can still be very good without being up there. Oh shoot, what is the, have you been to Momofuku in downtown LA? No, no I haven't. That's a nine to me. Okay.

It's not inventive, really good food, great atmosphere, beyond expectations. Great. I would say this is a seven oh five because the food was outstanding. Was this creative? Well, I mean, except for one of them, what sushi, the sushi was exceptionally creative, which is my only 10 of the, of the, of the day. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Because of how creative it was. The seven, for sure, oh five, the sushi really blew me out of the water there. I was very pleasantly surprised for au jus. I've never had it before, right?

So I can't really say it. At the end of the day, it's just a steakhouse. A steakhouse will never be, never be, American steakhouse will never be an eight for me. Ever. Ever. That's crazy. I know. It's crazy, but it truly, there's, there's so many freaking steak houses. There's so many. And so many of them can be great. They can. Offer you great food, exceptional service. Yeah. And,

and a vibe that you're into. I think they can only be good. They can't be great. A great is like, look, wow! I'm walking out, I'm singing its praises. I'm like Randy there. Like, I'm like, yeah. Look, but creativity shouldn't be the bar for that because sometimes you try something

and you fail remarkably. Not, no, no, no, creative is the extra thing that gets me to a nine to a 10. I get you, I get you. The general uniqueness. Right. Is what's giving me to great. Like something I was like, if I'm,

at the end of the day, a steak is mostly a steak. You cannot improve. A steak is one of the best foods. But you cannot improve a steak, right? But if I go into like, oh, I I've never this is such an interesting cut of meat I've never even heard of what we're about to have before and it's delicious That's that's what eight nine and ten or four. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I wouldn't I I feel like you're describing the ten tier and then docking Three points. No. No, so like if you I'm trying to think of maybe what would be uh, oh, I just want to take a sec

I'm arguing with him because I find it funny as shit to argue over something so stupid. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not mad Yeah, I don't think you are either. I'm pissed So don't watch this be like why is he shit talking to him? I'm just pushing back Yeah, we just have a different philosophy. This is a wickedly different Yeah, we are wickedly different about this at the end of the day. It's going on the tchotchke as the average of our two ratings. Yes. Yes. Yes. I believe it should be higher in the context of your Show this is I'm sure it'll be one of the best chains on it Yes, for sure if it's not a 10 on on your tchotchke Yeah, wait, is that part of the there's no way it can be because of the score you gave. Right, right. So... But no, I mean, this isn't a 10-tier restaurant for me. This isn't

even a 9-tier restaurant for me. In general. But in... Or what do you mean? This includes all restaurants. I think... Oh, okay. Gotcha. The best restaurant experience I've ever had would be a 10. Wow. So you put Master's up in 9.5. Because I think American Steakhouse, look, we had the red carpet rolled out for us. The staff was incredibly welcoming and accommodating and made everything to our liking, comped one of our desserts. The food was hitting on every level. The atmosphere, we're on the beach. Did you put location in any of this?

I mean, that was the Newport Beach Master. Exactly. Yes. And like I say that in the episode. And so me- I mean, that was the Newport Beach Masters. Exactly. Yes. I think- And like I say that in the episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so it scored a 9.45. It's not the best restaurant I've been to,

but it's up there. And for the show, it's the best. And at the end of the day, we were in Pasadena, you know? That's not a locale that I'm gonna be like. Look, when you walk in the doors of a restaurant, that is what matters when you score it. Yes. To me, if I am in Tokyo,

that doesn't give a restaurant a boost in any direction. Really? Why would it? I think the restaurant is a self-contained thing. If it has windows and you're looking out to the scape of the beach. But a view can be done anywhere, whether or not... There are nice vistas in Burbank. Go to Castaways and you get like a view over all of like that looks out into LA over like a canyon.

Yes, it's very pretty. I'm rating it. Nice Vista. I would call this. I would call that ambiance though. Yeah. Yeah. So I would rate it pretty highly in on the ambiance level.

I'm just saying to give a place two thumbs up, two thumbs up, two thumbs up. It's a six out of 10. It's crazy because that's what lower thumb ratings are for. So if it checks those boxes, it should be scored higher. So that said, no, no, no. No, no, you're right. But okay, let me just say that, because I was thinking about this as I was telling you.

I am a positive person. No, I don't buy it. I'm a positive person and I generally like things But if I'm going to compare the things that I like it's like the difference between an exclamation point and three exclamation point Uh-huh. This is an exclamation point. Me an exclamation point isn't a six to me a period is a six. I Think I was gonna be six seven point five to me seven five to me leaving off a punctuation is like five and under 7.5. To me, leaving off a punctuation is like five and under. Yes. So I guess that's, that's why I'm fighting you on this because I think there's

room for all the awesome places you've been to all be from nine to 10. Right. Or eight to 10. And I think there's room for this to be higher without disgracing the names of those even better place. I would say if we're going off of the analogy of punctuation, a five is a, is a period. So if I'm any far after a period, then it's an, I like it. And it's an exclamation point. I like a six to 10 is a good level for me. But then again, I went to summer school every year. So I got a six out of 10.

So your math is a little off. Yeah. So yeah. OK. So with your 7.05, I went 8.39. To me, this place deserves to be between like 8 and 8 and 1 1. OK.

And you robbed me of that when it comes to the average. But still, Houston's goes on the tchotchke of mediocrity at a 7.72, which puts it 2 one hundredths higher than Papa Dough, only 0.3, less than 0.3 better than Outback Steakhouse, who I love. That makes sense to me, though. OK. This makes sense to me. I think we're going to look back on this and behouse, who I love. That makes sense to me though. Okay. This makes sense to me. I think we're going to look back on this and be like, Adam was right.

This falls, I'm going to be on the right side of history here, folks. I really do. It's under Rudy's. Like Rudy, what's Rudy's? Rudy's is a gas station barbecue joint in Austin, Texas, that knows how to make barbecue. Okay, well, yeah, okay. That's another location thing, right? You were not expecting a nice barbecue at a gas station.

I mean, I grew up on Rudy's. I knew exactly what I was getting out of Rudy's. Oh, true, true, true. But, I mean, it's just a different head space. Exactly. Like, fancy isn't the only way to get to 10. No, no, it's a surprise. Like, look how high Rainforest Cafe is.

Now, I adamantly disagree with that, because my old co-host rated it like over nine. No, no, it's a surprise. Like, look how high Rainforest Cafe is. Now, I adamantly disagree with that because my old co-host rated it like over nine. And I just think that's why I think that's a wild take on Rainforest Cafe. And and the only time I've ever done this in the show, because he was so passionate about it, it affected my rating. And I raised it as I wish I would have stood my ground to just put Rainforest Cafe in a slightly more realistic spot Yeah, yeah, yeah, but it is what it is. I made the choice

I made and now rainforest hold on rainforest cafe is too high. Yes, but a Kitchy but super themed experience can also score very highly. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, what's that chicken one? Dave's hot chicken. That's Dave's hot chicken. Yeah. We're only a little bit of. I think you're too harsh. Yeah, I might be too harsh. I think you're too harsh. Maybe that's because somebody forgot my birth. Calm your tits.

All right, well, either way, this is great. Houston's is still firmly. I will highly recommend it to everybody. Yeah. Exclamation point. It is firmly better than mediocre. Should we say that together? Sure, why not?

Better than mediocre. Better than mediocre. It's better than a cracker barrel. So even though it is better than mediocre, what it is not is perfectly mediocre. And what that means is I have to go somewhere again next week. Oh yeah. What are you going to do? The search is going to keep on going.

I can't wait. So I got to turn to the you must bowl. My bowl that tells me a bunch of restaurants that I'm going to draw and it'll tell me which one I must go to next time. Love it. So, we ready to see? Let's do it. Next week on the podcast, I will be traveling across the country to go to...

Perkins Restaurant and Bakery. Oh wow, I've heard of that. Uh, yeah, that's everything. Yeah. Thanks for coming with me to Houston. 100%. The fact that we didn't see eye to eye on a number, but both still have kind of the same things

to say about it is wild to me. But what would a podcast with you be if not wild? That's true, that's true. So everyone go check out Adam's podcast, that was wild. If you go to early to mid July, you'll find an episode with me as a guest. Very fun. Very fun. Very fun.

Very fun and wild episode. Is there any, tell people where to follow you. You can follow me at AdamRMac and AdamTellsJokes on TikTok. And if you want more wild content, go to thatwaswild.net. It's where I talk about my podcast and I have a monthly live show at the Glendale Room that is a variation of the podcast

where you can watch me live as well as some very funny friends. Get a little wild. Do stand up and improv. And you can follow me on social media at Fine Dining Podcast on Instagram and TikTok. Go to linkstree.com slash Fine Dining Podcast. Get your September girl bracket.

Sign up for free at my Patreon and go listen to the backlog of September girl episodes. There's three of them there. Two that came out earlier this year, Whataburger and Culver's. Just so you can get a baseline of where my headspace is at that will help inform you when you're filling out this bracket. And then next month we get down and dirty. So it's Perkins and then Septemberger's upon us, baby. Septemberger's upon us. What's funny is you're struggling to say Septemberger. I struggle to say September.

Like at this point, Septemberger rolls off the tongue more. Yeah, I can't wait until you do flannuary. Pfft, just who's got the best flan? Yeah. Well, we didn't find the most mediocre restaurant We did not. in America.

The search does, in fact, continue. We'll see you next time. Have a fine day! Subscribe the search continues our journey did not conclude The mother of search continues writers and I do was review And hey while you're at it, why don't you go ahead and make it five stars? Come on Follow us on tick tock the same on Instagram, all the socials at FindDiningPodcast.

We have a website, finddiningpodcast.com. Buy our t-shirts, then put them on and don't forget you can always suggest where we go next okay we're going to find it mediocrity The search continues See you next week!