Fine Dining - IKEA's Meatballs Aren't Actually Even Swedish feat. Chris Grace

Episode Date: January 8, 2025

Food from a furniture store? I'm joined by Chris Grace from NBC's Superstore to tackle the largest furniture retailer in the world IKEA and their fabled Swedish Bistro which happens to be the 6th-largest food chain internationally! "Coffee and a biscuit" was where it all began in Sweden Despite being what they're known for, the Swedish Meatball (which isn't even actually Swedish) didn't hit the menu until the 80s, almost 30 years after open There were plans for a viking themed restaurant originally! A nightmare green hot dog and food made of mealworms?? A Yelper writes with whimsy and then drops it before the end and Chris thinks it's hacky "Fine" Dining is now on video! Head on over to my YouTube to watch this episode! Music by: James McEnelly (@Ramshackle_Music) Theme Song by: Gabe Alvarez (@spooky.gabe) Segment Transitions Voiced by: Sandy Rose "Fine" Dining is on Patreon! Get an extra episode every month (I closed the year with my Patreon exclusive episode covering rude-service-on-purpose restaurant chain Dick's Last Resort after driving to Las Vegas with friend and season 1 cheese correspondent Steven Zurita), extended Yelp from Strangers segments every other week, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, and more! Patreon Producers: Joyce Van, & Sue Ornelas   Get the 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!   Send in your IKEA stories at [e-mail].   Follow the show on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast Follow Chris on Instagram @chrisgracecomedy   Let me know where I should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, PodcastAddict, Overcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. I read every one!   Next week on "Fine" Dining: IKEA Swedish Bistro Review [Part Two]! Chris Grace returns to chat about the meatballs, the plethora of desserts, and his love of cafeterias as we break down the Good, the Not Good, and the Just There of IKEA. Ever work at IKEA? Send your stories to [e-mail].

IKEA, the place where you go in for a homerooed side table and emerge three hours later in a retail-induced haze. You're scared, confused, and without your youngest child. A sacrifice to Odin to stave off Ragnarok. But let's be honest, the real reason you're here? It's not the flat pack furniture, it's the food court. That's right, IKEA is one of the biggest furniture stores in the world, but it also happens to be one of the largest peddlers of Swedish meatballs.

Believe it or not, IKEA has been in the food business since the 1950s, just a few years after their first showroom opened. They know you need to replenish your calories after walking their labyrinthine 10k, and for a lot of shoppers, those encouraging little meatballs are the intermission they need to power through to the finish. Well, Swedish, not Finnish. Today we're going to walk the proverbial showroom floor of IKEA's restaurant history and take the temperature of what others think of the place.

Like this Yelp review from Justin M. of Tempe, Arizona, who writes, Seven months ago, I vowed to never eat here again. Today, I regret that I came back. Is that the overall sentiment, or is Justin just a whiny baby boy in need of a crib, like the Sniglar or the Elsgvard, both also conveniently sold at IKEA? Let's find out together.

This is the Fine Dining Podcast. Fine dining, better than you thought, worse than you hoped. Fine dining, we don't treat mediocre as a joke. Breaking every single place we've been, looking for the perfect five out of ten. Hello and welcome to the Fine Dining Podcast, the search for the most mediocre restaurant in America. I'm your host, Michael Ornelas. And this is the show where I'm looking for the precisely in the middle dining experience, the perfect five point double zero out of 10. Because only once you know what's directly in the center, can you tell what's good or not good by comparison. Today, I went to the IKEA Swedish Bistro. And before we hear about the history of this restaurant and the corresponding Yelp reviews, allow me to introduce to you my guest, the

man who joined me at noon on a Thursday to go to a retail giant and walk endlessly through the void of DIY furniture. You've seen him on Broad City, you know him as Jerry on the NBC series Superstore, and he has a comedy special on Dropout TV called Chris Grace as Scarlett Johansson, which I have to say is an absolute blast, and you should absolutely get a Dropout subscription if you don't have one, to check out his descent into madness, vulnerability, and a complete loss of identity

as he pulls off the inverse of that time Scarlett Johansson kind of played an Asian onscreen. It's Chris Grace. Hey, thanks for having me, Michael. Yeah, how's it going? Good, full of Swedish food now. Yeah. It was a good, I think it was a good call,

the time, the week and the time of day. Yeah, the calendar choice. And this is gonna come out in January, but today is Halloween. Oh, nice, yes, yes, yes. Today is literally the day of Halloween. So I think not a lot of trick-or-treaters at IKEA. Some of the employees were in costume, I think.

I got there a little before you and I walked around. I did notice a witch's hat. Yes, somebody was in a full skeleton costume. Oh, for real? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I couldn't tell if they worked there or not. Just like, well, you know, before I head to the Halloween party, I've got to just pick up a stroller. I don't know.

It seemed like maybe some of the employees have been encouraged to come in costume and some of them hadn't. But I mean, do you think that's based on like their previous costume choices from years gone by? Maybe some people have been banned. Last year you took it a little too far, Pam. So do you have any personal history with the IKEA food court? Have you eaten there much? A couple of times it's a favorite, like somewhere on that spectrum.

Is it for you? I have eaten there only every single time I've ever gone to IKEA. So, yes, so you do not go to IKEA without stopping by the first night. No, this is the first time and we'll get into it more when we actually review it next week. This week, we're just, you know, we're going history. We're going to Yelp reviews. But you've been to IKEA before? Yeah, I've bought.

Would you say dozens of times? This piece of furniture is from IKEA, that piece of furniture is from IKEA. And it never occurred to you to? It did occur to me. It didn't appeal to me. Oh, man, man. Well, so I come from

an older time when Ikea first set foot in America and I was living in New York and You had to take a special bus to Elizabeth, New Jersey That was a special Ikea bus from I think Port Authority in Manhattan Is this like in Vegas where when you want to go to a strip club, they'll send the car to get you? Oh, I've no experience of that. Like a special Ikea bus? Michael, I have never experienced it. I have been to two strip clubs.

One for the show. I did my episode 69 spectacular. And then one time in 2012 in Vegas on a drive from California to Texas. I was with a group of friends and one of them was like, Hey, I got us a car to come pick us up and take us to Spearmint Rhino. And I spent $47, $7 on one of those like small bottles of water. The ones that are seven bucks for, you know, that and then two lap dances.

I've been, oh, there you go. Yeah. Uh, I've, uh, never been to strip cobe. I have been to a Spearmint Rhino once. I think to get like lube or something. Like they also have like a retail store. Do they? Or like something.

I guess it must be like the Hustler store in Hollywood or something. I just remember that the name was weird and that's the only reason I remember that name. Yeah. But anyway, so when IKEA first landed in New York, the meatballs were a thing discussed. It was always like, you gotta get the meat.

So I've always gotten the meatballs every time I go. In fact, I think at least twice I have left the store with a bag of frozen meatballs. Oh, okay, yeah, because they do smell like the frozen. And a small jar of Lincoln Berry jam. Right. Maybe one of my first exposures to savory and sweet. Together?

Together. And is there like a Monte Cristo sandwich also similar where it's like ham but also powdered sugar on the outside? I think that's it, yeah. So this meatball and jam Flavor profile as we might say Might even one of the first times ever encountered. So I always go to the Yeah, I I've probably been to IKEA 20 times my life. I probably had meatballs 20. Is it

Obligatory and nostalgic for you or do you actually you're like you're looking forward to it when you go? I mean, I'm looking, because I like gravy. So, I like- Texas boy. Texas, I'm from Houston. I like gravy and I like gravy with, I mean, the ideal thing that I would never, I would never not go to the IKEA Swedish bistro would be if they had white rice. If they had white rice with that meatball gravy,

I would be there. They do have white rice. Wait, do we miss it? Oh my gosh. We didn't miss it, I just didn't get it. Oh no. They do have white rice. Okay, then I would go back.

Next time. Because I always picture the mashed potatoes being on the plate. Yeah. If I subbed white rice. Game changer. Yeah, I mean like the, I don't believe you've covered it, but like at Jollibee, there is a burger steak with white rice that I could just have for the rest of my life.

Okay. So that's your personal history with the IKEA food court. Do you want to hear the history of IKEA's Swedish bistro? Yeah. All right. Well, we're going to jump into this week's Eat Deets. Eat Deets. Eat Deets.

Eatery details. Eat Deets. Ingvar Kamprad opened his first furniture showroom in Almholt, Sweden in 1953, and immediately knew he wanted to offer visitors coffee and a biscuit, which was a growing phenomenon in his country at the time. I'm already thrown by how many weird consonant vowel combinations you just spit out. Get used to it because there's gonna be many. Because I think sometimes, walking around Ikea, I'm like, are these jokes?

Are these names jokes? It does feel that way. Because sometimes they are. Like sometimes there'll be a name like, like it'll be like a light bulb and it'll be like flashy or something like okay is this what they call it? Am I being made fun of? Yeah yeah. Is me not knowing Swedish the joke here? Yeah yeah. The biscuits of which he ordered 200 for the grand opening were made by a local bakery called Hockens's Successors,

or at least that's what it translated to, one of 10 bakeries to choose from in the small town. Ingvar was very firm that the biscuits should not be able to make a mess on the furniture, according to the daughter of the bakery owners. So he like shopped around like he had 10 different bakeries to choose from, and he's like, I want to open my store with biscuits and coffee. Who's up for the job? Who can make me a biscuit that won't create a mess? What does that mean though?

Not make him, not crumbly? So one thing I was unable to find is, is this biscuits as we know them in America or are they biscuits like cookies? I don't know the answer to that. Oh, it has to be a cookie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a biscotti or something. Yes, coffee and a biscuit.

Another thing, can you imagine getting a cup of black coffee and a southern biscuit? Fluffy. I mean, I would like that, but I don't think that's what... I imagine that it was a cookie by European standards, but I couldn't find an answer to it. I was looking. Okay, he's still asking for a relatively non crumbly cookie

Yes, okay. Also most Ikea furniture. I feel is not like just not to call you out on your Ikea furniture in the room But most like a furniture you have in this room could easily handle a crumbly cookie. So This first store that I'm even talking about is before he opened IKEA proper. It was a furniture store, so I assume it's like sofas and stuff and you can get crumbs on. This isn't an IKEA couch, but like, you know. You could mess them up, I guess.

The story goes that while the grand opening had been advertised in the papers, no one expected the mass of people that showed up for furniture, coffee, and biscuits. The bakery ended up serving almost a thousand biscuits by the time the store closed, having gone through their entire stock of biscuits, as well as borrowing from all the other cafes in town. Whoa.

They had, they literally had a biscuit emergency. Well, also then there's this fork in the timeline where they actually, this guy could have just gone into a biscuit restaurant. Yeah. timeline where they actually, this guy could have just gone into a biscuit restaurant type. Because if this is the day that you had, it takes a lot to be like, yeah, this furniture store is doing great.

Well, so what's interesting is it's not even his bit, like it's literally a different bit. So he doesn't get to take that credit recipe wise? Well, but it's not that, what I'm saying is that he has, it's like he's a coffee shop. Like I've sourced these biscuits from somewhere. I've created a context where just people are just- Clamoring.

By the way, like the bakery in town that's making Husqvar's descendants or whatever, they weren't selling out every day. This guy has made a world where it's like, ooh, I'm gonna have coffee, sit down. Well, it's like the first og collab, you know, you hear about like, you know something X I'm bad at pulling an example like kids super X Puma or you know, whatever Kids super X Puma is a clap But what I mean is that it's it's amazing that't go, oh, I should start a coffee shop business,

as opposed to, but also I will say, they sourced from other bakeries, which means that his demand to have a cookie that specifically didn't, you know, like he was so picky about which one. They went through and I think they got like the dough or like the breading, they got ingredients from the other bakeries.

They didn't just take their biscuits. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They just got the stuff they needed to make them. I was like two thirds of the day, people are like, these biscuits are not as good as they were this morning. Yeah. But this day did inform Comfred's philosophy

that visitors with full stomachs stay longer and buy more. Oh. So the furniture aspect of it did come into play. Yeah, the biscuits were popular, but it did facilitate people giving the furniture part of it more business. Yeah, we ate there today and afterwards we bought a sofa because we were just like, oh, we're here.

Yeah, why not? An impulse buy. Five years later, the first IKEA store was opened and introduced a small coffee corner. Seems like a downgrade or at least a lateral move. But just two years later in 1960, the store introduced the restaurant and cafe called IKEA Barren, which is the IKEA bar, which initially served coffee and cold dishes. Okay. They had some cold dishes on offer today that we did not. It's really not come that far since then. Even the warm stuff here wasn't the warmest.

Well, yeah, and specifically, they had some like cold salmon plates. Yeah, they had a lot of like refrigerated. That we sort of. Pull a plate sort of deal. Also, neither of us really took them up on that. Yeah. In the coming years, Ingvar invested in a radar oven

from America, which was like an early microwave type oven. So that he could serve warm food, which at the time was like an early microwave type oven so that he could serve warm food, which at the time was like cutting edge technology. And everyone was so impressed that, oh, you got this American technology and now he's serving warmer food. Also based on our meal today, they got rid of that radar oven in the meantime. Yes. Yeah.

They had no interest in their, let's get back to our roots. Cold dishes. Yeah. Ingvar later became obsessed with the idea of opening a Viking restaurant in his Ikea in Stockholm, inspired by a restaurant he'd been to in Oslo with a similar theme. His store manager did the research about how to furnish it, what to serve, and even reached out

to famous ethnologist, Mats Reinberg, who was known for being a judge on a major TV quiz show at the time. Basically he's like, you're a culture expert. If I want to make a Viking restaurant, what recommendations do you have? I thought you were gonna say he reached out to a famous Viking.

He just had an excellent beard. It was braided. Eric the Red came in. Yeah. Reinberg told him that it would be a bad idea and encouraged him to serve Småland Specialties instead, which is like a southern region in Sweden. Okay, and is that what they went with? Yes.

Oh, okay. So they shifted away. So wait, this Viking idea was very short-lived. It was very short-lived. Like, they did probably a year of R&D on it before this quiz show ethnologist was like. So they did 12 months of R&D on it before this quiz show ethnologist was like. They did 12 months of R&D, and then they texted Ken Jennings.

And Ken Jennings was like, no. And they're like, okay, fine. I guess you're the boss, Ken. Yeah. But they did go with his recommendation of serving Swedish and Smolland dishes such as potato and swede mash. This is like five years later, 1965 they opened this.

Smoked lamb, Isturban sausage, potato dumplings, and cheese curd cake. Oh, that sounds good. I mean, I would have actually loved some potato dumplings today. Yeah. I mean, that's nice. I could have gone for that.

Yeah. Yeah, and then it wasn't until 20 years later in 1985 that the Swedish meatball arrived on the menu, the dish the brand is most known for nowadays. Okay. Yeah. And switching gears to the modern iteration of the brand, IKEA offers highly affordable food such as two hot dogs, chips, and a soda for $2.50. The goal of the cheap food is to encourage shoppers

to stay longer and discuss their purchases, ultimately driving furniture sales. Did we see two hot dogs? I did not see those. I didn't see that today. But that's a thing that like when you look up something that they've pushed out as, hey, this is affordable. This is something we do. Yeah. That is in the literature.

Do you think that if we were shopping for furniture today, we would have been discussing our furniture? We would have discussed, would we have discussed prospective purchases? Or would we have checked out, then gone to the restaurant and be like, let's talk about what we bought today? Well, yeah, because the layout of the place is,

a lot of the heavy stuff is after the restaurant, and all the, I guess showroom stuff is upstairs. Okay, so we walk through the showrooms and we look at the gaming lounge that we want to set up for our daughter. And then we've pulled the tags of various things we want, we're taking photos and stuff. Then we go get meatballs. And then we go downstairs and have to lug it all out.

Right. But in the, but at the meatball stage, we're talking about, I don't, do you think that? I don't know. I mean, I'm the type of guy who I would like to disconnect. I'm like, okay. I find I, you don't want to hold the furniture talk. I find Ikea exhausting. So I view the cafeteria as a break from that. Gotcha.

Personally, I understand that not everyone is going to be like me. Right. Yeah. Exhausting so I view the cafeteria as a break from that got you personally I understand that not everyone is going to be like me right yeah Well if you find the Ikea exhausting how you gonna find parenting our child look I'm walking out on their third birthday I'm gonna take up a smoking habit Discuss your input into the how the gaming lounge looks for them. You know, for now I have a say. Gerd Dywald, head of IKEA's US... Gerd.

Look, that's someone's name, okay? Someone's name is Gerd. I'm just thinking of food context. That's great. Which is also what, gastro-something reflux disease? Yeah, yeah, gastroesophageal maybe? Yeah, that sounds right. Gerd Dywald, head of IKEA's US food operations, parrots, comforters philosophy that providing food keeps customers in store longer, helping them make decisions without leaving.

This tactic is effective with 650 million customers spending nearly two billion dollars annually at IKEA's food court. Oh, just from the food court. Oh wow. Okay. Yeah. So that's paid off. Yeah. I'm trying to think of the other businesses that have food places to eat. And what's also interesting is because Ikea showrooms are so large, just like

the, and the one we went to is the largest in the country. I don't know if you know that. The Burbank Ikea is the largest one in the country. Wow, okay. It makes per square foot, Ikea is considered the largest chain restaurant. Oh, interesting. Wait, wait, wait, revenue per square foot? Is that what you mean? Or just like size-wise? No, no, just like literal square foot-ish.

Oh, so I see, I see, I see. Because actually that one was large. Like the seating area was really large. I was just thinking about when I was growing up, we went to the Wall Street, and we went to the West End, and we went to the West End, literal square footage. Oh, so that's the idea. Because actually that one was large. Like the seating area was really large. I was just thinking about when I was growing up, we went to, the Walmart had a little cafe. Well, I remember one Walmart's got McDonald's and my kid mind was blown.

So, no, I prefer the original Walmart cafe where I could get a pulled pork barbecue sandwich. Oh. This is like in Alvin, Texas or something like that. And I remember Target's had cafes where you could get popcorn. Well, and those they still have with like popcorn and like the pre-made Pizza Hut things you can grab.

They're all brand integrations now. I wonder, yeah, I know. I like it when it was more pure, no Starbucks, no McDonald's, no Panda Express, just a Walmart cafe. Doing their own thing. I also wonder how much of this is growing up in Texas that it's like, yeah, all the stores have barbecue sandwiches.

Sure. Well, I mean, and that's like a Bucky's or, you know, like any gas station. It is like that. Rudy's barbecue, you walk into a gas station and get a breakfast taco or a pulled pork sandwich to go. So for the Walmart, I think it was not, it was certainly not a cafe where my parents and I

would sit down and discuss our purchases. I think it was certainly not a cafe where my parents and I would sit down and discuss our purchases. I think it was- What did you roll back today, Mike? I think there it was more like, let's ditch the kids in this cafe and go get our shopping to here, eat the sandwich and we'll be right back.

And I know that a lot of Walmarts, kind of at that front area where, now at McDonald's, but you know where the food is. They'll also have like claw machines and maybe a little arcade game. So it does feel very much like Ditch the Kids. Yeah, so this isn't about extending purchases the way the IKEA did.

Yeah. So I can't, I don't know of other, I guess there's like nicer department stores like a Macy's or sometimes- Well, Nordstrom also has a Bar Verde. Oh, nice. So is that- And E-Bar. Like that. A full on restaurant that you have a restaurant? Well, Nordstrom also has a Bar Verde. Oh, nice. So is that a full-on restaurant that you can go to? Bar Verde, I believe, is the E-Bar is just like a coffee,

like their own little Starbucks sort of thing. Okay. All right, so back to IKEA. Chris Spear, a former IKEA chef, stated the company maintains the lowest food prices within a 30-mile radius, even if it means taking a loss, which, uh, the approach reinforces the brand's low cost profile and drives high furniture sales, which sucks for them. There's a couple of Costco's within a 30 mile radius here.

Yeah. So if you're trying to out price or out low price Costco, you're in trouble. They, I wonder if they do that just by not having any of the items that are Costco. Like maybe that's why they don't have the hot dog because the hot dog at Costco is what? Yeah. Yeah. So, and the founder of, or the current CEO has like told one of the other high ups, like if you ever change the price of the hot dog, I'll fucking kill you.

That's a quote that he is, yeah. He said he was gonna murder him. I mean, probably jokingly, but yeah. I hope that, I mean, I don't wish anyone's death, but that would be a funny murder to read about. What was the cause of death? IKEA's hot dog is 175. I mean, that guy would get universal support.

No one- I know, it'll be exonerated. He's like the guy. Oh, God, I never find a jury. I forget. I forget the guy's name, but there's like a guy whose son was like, not good things happen to him. And the guy who did it was on his way to the courtroom and dad's on the phone, like on a payphone live TV, there's cameras going and he turns away from the payphone, pops the guy, kills him on live TV payphone, live TV, there's cameras going, and he turns away from the payphone, pops the guy, kills him on live TV.

God, I forget the guy's name, and I'll lose the teleprompter if I look. Is this the plot to a time to kill, the John Gershwin book? No, no, no. I saw this on Reddit like two days ago. But was it like he took justice in his own hands? He took justice into his own hands because this guy sexually assaulted his son

and was on his way to trial and he killed him on live TV and he never did any jail time. No jury convicted it. They were like, cause they were like, he's never going to reoffend because it's like, it was so personal to like this one scenario. Maybe. I think you might. I think you probably should still.

He had that dog in him. Yeah, I don't know. Anyways, didn't mean for it to get that morbid off of. No, I'm just thinking about, you know, let's say I killed my all my grandparents. You could technically say I'd never reoffend because I don't have any more grandparents. And you did it because they raised the price of the hot dog.

Exactly. Yeah. The famed Swedish meatballs aren't authentically Swedish. Sweden's official Twitter account revealed in 2018 that the recipe originated in Turkey and was brought back by King Charles XII in the 18th century. Oh, okay. Okay. I thought this was like, this is fine. That's far enough back that it's fine.

It's far enough back, but they are Turkish meatballs that made it to Sweden. Yeah. Only around half of IKEA's menu is authentically Scandinavian. Items like the Gravidlax, which is the dill cured salmon. I wonder if it's pronounced lox because lox, but it's LAX. And kanulbular, which is the cinnamon buns, represent traditional Swedish dishes,

while others are tailored to specific market demographics. Oh, chicken tenders aren't Scandinavian? Believe it or not, they're not. For an authentic meatball experience, Swedes cut their gravy-covered meatballs in half, dip them into mashed potatoes, then add lingonberry jam, enhancing the nutmeg flavor within the dish. Didn't get any nutmeg out of that.

Maybe I didn't either, but that is exit. Like we sat down and I was like, this is how the pros do it. Right. Um, that is the kind of thing though, that I wouldn't be surprised if someone Swedish was emailed in and was like, I've never done that my whole life. Right. I've never cut a meatball in half, dipped it in mashed potatoes, and Lincoln berry jam.

Yeah. I think that they're just trying to make more of a culture to it of like, oh, look, we have a process or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're trying to add like a Japanese tea ceremony type framing around it. To their furniture store meatballs. Yeah. So, lingonberries, known as cowberries,

grow in Sweden's wild woodlands and moorlands. Raw lingonberries are bitter, but with added sugar, they are turned into a jam rich in antioxidants. The jam is traditionally paired with various Swedish dishes, but not usually spread on bread, which is kind of an expectation when you have a jam, you put it on a cracker, you put it on bread. That is not the intent of Lincolnberry jam.

So it's more of a condiment in a way. It is, yeah. It's like cranberry sauce on Thanksgiving. Right, and it would also be as if, you know, Americans, we don't spread ketchup on a piece of bread. No, but when you go to other countries that are trying to emulate American food, they will do weird stuff like that.

Oh, do they? Well, it's like, have you ever been out of anywhere to other countries that are trying to emulate American food. They will do weird stuff like that. Well, it's like, have you ever been out of anywhere where a local McDonald's will have, or Burger King will have like the Texas burger, and it'll be a burger with mustard and a fried egg on it. And you're like, what? I've never had this. That's not a part of burgers in Texas.

Yeah. Yeah, stuff like that is weird. I've also heard, I mean, I'll ask you in part two about your worst restaurant experience, your best restaurant experience. I've had people talk about getting Mexican food in England and it's just like, their approximation of salsa is something they've only seen on TV. They've never tasted it, so they don't know what the proportions or anything is. And so it's like very ketchup-y salsa when you're overseas. And I don't like the sound of that.

If I'm doing chips and salsa or something. A lot of things are sweeter over there. But there are also way fewer chemicals that are killing us by the day. So that's nice. Over there? I think actually that our perception of what processed food is, if you go over there,

you could be healthier even eating just stuff off of a grocery market shelf. That's what I'm saying. A McDonald's and a Burger King is so much healthier over there. I know, if you look at the ingredients list, they're much shorter generally. Yeah.

Like here, why does my burger have something that I've also seen on a shampoo bottle? Right. Those shouldn't have any overlap. IKEA's food innovation lab, Space 10, aims to create the fast food of the future, including the bug burger made with meal worms and the dogless hot dog with a spirulina infused green bun.

However, these are currently research projects with no plans to add them to IKEA's menu. This? Yeah. Oh my This? Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. Isn't that a nightmare? Well, they've also food styled this

to look like a nightmare. Yeah. Like... Uh... It looks like something out of a Dr. Seuss book. Hmm. Like I think it's possible. What's in the bun that's making it green?

Spirulina. But why? Isn't the dog full of it too? I don't, yeah. I think it's possible. What's in the bun that's making it green? Spirulina. But why? Isn't the dog full of it too? I don't, yeah. Wow, I mean, I don't know. What do you think of that one? I think that's so intense. I mean, I would try it just because.

I would definitely try it. But like. Definitely, definitely, definitely. It's a haunting look. Wow, I don't know. I think the bun is a little more off-putting than anything else. Yeah, looks hard. I don't want a hard

Exactly. It looks like it's gonna crack or something. Yeah, I mean I do like a crisp bun, but I don't want a hard bun You don't want a bun that has shards Honestly, I don't want any food that has shards. Yeah All right in 2013 IKEA faced a scandal when horse meat was detected in a shipment of its frozen meatballs by the Czech state veterinary administration. The product was pulled from shelves in 13 European countries, although IKEA's Swedish and US branches were reported to be unaffected. I thought you said that they didn't care. Yeah, they didn't bother.

People like them, you know. Yeah, why not? As of 2018, IKEA stated that no decisions have been made about opening standalone restaurants, despite testing pop-up versions in 2017 in major cities. About 30% of IKEA's food court customers visit solely to dine. Oh, wow. Oh, that's interesting.

So I think they could have a stand up if, let let's say you had a little showroom next to it. So imagine the size of a McDonald's playpen, but it was this month's featured. Yeah. You get like four items or something that you could, if you could catalog, order anything from Ikea and have it delivered to you. Yeah. Like one of those McDonald's order kiosks. You go to an iPad and it's like,

would you like a bookshelf with your, you know. I'll say as is. I don't think the food's good enough to stand on its own. I agree. Yeah, I agree. IKEA's classic meatballs contain 84% meat, a mixture of pork and beef, along with typical ingredients like onions, breadcrumbs,

eggs, salt, and pepper. 16% is the ratio of those other things. By the way, I mean, how bothered are you if your meatballs have a little bit of horse meat in them? I think psychologically it does bum me out a little bit. Oh, really? Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I don't care.

You don't? Nah, I don't care. Is it just, if it tastes good, I'll eat it? Well, no, because I just I actually have never understood the I mean, I understand what it is. I just don't I don't subscribe to this sort of arbitrary like cows are cute. Let's eat all the cows. Horses are cute.

We don't dare eat the horses. I'm like, right. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I. I don't think it's a cuteness thing for me. I just think it's beef and pork have cornered the market. So it's like, when you, when you start experimenting and adding other meats in there, I'm just, I'm just weirded out by it. I think that there is something about beef, cow cows. It is funny that we're not, okay, wait, we don't say we eat cow and we don't eat pig.

We eat beef and pork. So like we've already added, we've disconnected, right. But also cows and pigs have a little bit of like a lazy feel to them. And they, they feel kind of chubby, like, you know, like horses, you have to chase a horse horses have this lean like machine-like build, right? And so I think the meat just seems like it's gonna be like sinewy. You know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, like there's not as much, a fat horse is not the most appealing concept, you know? Also just picturing a fat horse is like, what does that look like? Right, but whereas a fat cow is very, like if anything, a thin cow is gross, yeah. IKEA introduced a vegan version of their meatballs in 2015

and began rolling out vegan hot dogs in US stores in early 2019, responding to increased demand for plant-based options. Cool. To complete a Swedish-inspired meal at IKEA, dessert options like the Daim cake and almond chocolate toffee treat are considered more authentic than apple cake. Ah.

So, yeah, I got a plate that had three different types of cakes. It had the apple cake, it had the chocolate toffee thing, and then it had almost what felt like a wedding cake, like a white spongy raspberry cake. The toffee cake was the like. Was more authentic. The authentic one. That was really good. Yeah. I mean, honestly, everything. That was really good. Yeah, I mean they're Honestly everything on that plate. I enjoyed yeah, we'll talk about it next week. But for this week that'll do it for this week's eat deets Okay, so that's the history of the IKEA food court We have our review our opinions our thoughts which will come at you next week

our review, our opinions, our thoughts, which will come at you next week. But this week, I want to hear what other people are saying about this very IKEA. So we're going to read out some Yelp reviews in this week's Yelp from Strangers. We need a little Yelp, a little Yelp, a little Yelp from Strangers. A one star, two star, three star, four star, five star, so get a little Yelp, a little

Yelp, a little Yelp from strangers, a little Yelp, a little Yelp, give us those complaints while you literally white and die. Yelp! Alright this is Yelp from Strangers, our segment where we turn to Yelp and read out our favorite one, two, three, four, and five star Yelp reviews of the very Ikea that we dined at. Chris, I have a couple of Yelp reviews for you behind that pillow if you wanna go ahead and,

I don't know why, I like this little reveal of just like two pieces of paper. Also, this is specifically reviews of the restaurant of the restaurant. Wow. So there's two listings in Yelp. Like one for the IKEA restaurant, the furniture store. Yeah. So, uh, I'm going to start us off, uh, if you don't mind with a one-star review.

Let's hear it. One star review. All right. This is a one-star review from Greg C August 8th, 2019. So about five years ago, if you like waiting in long lines, disaffected employees and tepid food served cold, you've found heaven. I love like the attitude that people, who's this? Greg,

Greg C. Okay. This tribute to cold War era cafeteria food would be okay if someone, anyone just cared about service. Hmm, okay. Which like- I'm getting a little bit of Greg, Greg wants to be noticed for his Yelp reviews. Yes.

You know? And I noticed them and I choose them often. I can tell when they're like raising their hand and they're like, pick me. 2019, Greg, do you think Greg got vaccinated? In 2019, before COVID? He was the first one. Hopefully.

Yeah, you get some nice hot food from pleasant chefs and then you wait in a long airport security style line for the privilege of paying $10 a plate. Okay, he first said, what was his line in the first line? He said, describe was his line in the first line? He said describe the employees as being... Dysaffected. Right, but then he just said that the chefs were pleasant.

I think the cashiers... The chefs are employees too? Look, I agree. Disgrace. Look, just because I'm reading his one-star review doesn't mean I agree with it. Right, right, right. So he's complaining about the line to check out.

He's complaining about the line, He's complaining about the line. He's complaining about the cashiers, I guess. Anyways, and then you face another line to find some empty ketchup containers and dirty utensils. Meanwhile, your once wonderful food is now cold and congealed, a fitting tribute to Eastern European peasant labor farms. Oh, god, Greg, come on.

Yeah. That's Greg being like, I've got opinions and a tight five and I'm gonna put them on Yelp. I've got a great grandmother from Poland and I'm gonna use that Eastern European cred to finish off this review. Yeah. Ugh, anyways, that's what a one star review

sounds like about this idea. Well also we can't relate because our checkout was quite fast today. There was like no one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we were. And then I had ordered egg rolls and they came later than the rest of the food. Because they were being made. So I went and grabbed them and I just walked out. Yeah. So that was the fastest. And then the guy. So you got like that heart flutter, that rush of like, you get to feel like you're shoplifting. So I did not, it did not even occur to me because I was just like, yeah, this is the egg rolls that I'm just getting them.

And then the guy was like, sir, sir, sir, sir. And like really stopped me. And then I was like, oh, and then the other cashier, the woman we checked out with was like, no, it's fine. He's with me. Four star review. Okay, I have a four star review for you.

Okay. This is from Omar A. By the way, next to Omar A says he's an elite 24. What does that mean on Yelp? He is an elite Yelper in the year of 2024. Wow. I don't know if 24 means he achieved it in 24 or if you have to re-get it, re-attain it every year.

Yeah. But it just means you wrote X amount of Yelp reviews. If I'm reading his stats right, he's from Arcadia, California, and it seems like he's checked into 817 places, maybe written 300. The middle one is how many reviews he's done. He's written 329 reviews and he's posted 1,990 photos. And then the first one is how many friends he has on the app.

Oh wow, I didn't even know. Wait, are we... People are social networking on Yelp. Wait, are our careers flagging because we don't pay enough attention to Yelp social media? Yeah. Sorry to presume that both our careers are flagging. It's December 7, 2019, also. Right before...

Yeah. Really, the last time you could have gone to this. Most of these reviews are from the before times. Okay, here we go. This is four stars. Yeah. As humans, we have this natural inclination to never be satisfied and to always want more.

We always tend to want something bigger, faster, newer. We easily get bored and crave variety instead of appreciating what we already have. Gratitude is lost in a time of the internet, the smartphone. He's really preaching. Instagram, Tinder, Snapchat, also, just keep in mind, this is right before the pandemic.

I also love that Tinder was included. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I like that he's really taking it, like he has, poor 2019 Omar has no idea what he's really getting at. You know what I mean? Yeah. To be satisfied and grateful for what you have

in this moment of Christmastime 2019. We crave instant satisfaction, and when we get it, we are quickly bored with it and want another rush, so we seek out something different, something new, something better, not knowing that it may never even exist. Bro, get to Ikea. No, no, no, live in this, Omar. This is a philosophy text for our time.

And in reality, we lose out on some of the best people, places, jobs, and things, because we don't realize they are the best. In a time when we are inundated with choices, we are never satiated, always wanting the next best choice, having regretful thoughts of what could have been missed, and moving on from something good for something better, not realizing that something better

will always evade us until our death. I mean, this is poignant. I would also love it if like, this is how every Yelp review he writes starts before getting to it. All of his 300, we should go read some other Omar A, 329 reviews. So, by the way, I also recognize that Omar here

is also trying to get like an Iowa Writers Workshop scholarship with his review. But somehow this doesn't grate on me the way that Greg did. Well, he doesn't, he's not an asshole. Yeah, this is almost like the first paragraph in like a synopsis of like Station 11 or whatever that is. Okay, so when something good appears, we are perplexed, thinking if we should take it or look for something better.

On a rainy evening while shopping at IKEA, finally getting to it, I was given an opportunity to try the IKEA Cafe where I stumbled upon the veggie Swedish meatballs plate, which came with brown rice, quinoa, and farro with a Thai coconut curry sauce, all for 3.99. Would I curtail my hunger for a better choice of food? Would I resist the spendthrift whisperer

telling me to drop out of high-end dining and pack my bags at this cafe for a little while? The answer to both of these questions is obviously no. I bet he loved that movie, The Menu. Yeah, yeah. The food, service, and prices are not worth passing up. The flavors don't require one to have evolved taste buds. Don't really like that direction, but anyway.

But can anyone- Look, I don't disagree though. Yeah, no, I don't disagree like that direction, but anyway. But can anyone- Look, I don't disagree though. Yeah, no, I don't disagree, but yeah. But you spent too much of your review being flowery. You can't be common man on the street now. Right. But can anyone complain about them for that price tag? If you do reread the first paragraph

I wrote up there in this review, he really wants you to focus on that first paragraph. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sit down, be grateful, spend a few moments to enjoy the veggie balls before you buy a love seat. You'll spend hours trying to build. Little bit of hacking in there.

Yeah, which is more of why I honestly do feel, I think he copy and pasted that beginning bit. Oh, right, right, right, right. I say the thing about IKEA furniture being hard to build is for a standup, kind of a hacky premise. Right. Because I have to say, the majority of IKEA furniture that I've gotten

has been very easy to build. It's usually fine. And the instructions have been quite simple. Yeah. I have messed up building one before where I screwed the wrong thing and it's just irreversible. I have one time put the back panel of a bookcase in the wrong way.

I think that's exactly what I did. I put the thing. To where the laminate side was facing the wall. Yeah. Did you like those reviews? You can get three more over on my Patreon. That's patreon.com slash fine dining podcast for the full Yelp from Strangers segment

and an exclusive fine dining episode every single month. All right, that's part one. We have finished the history. We finished the Yelp reviews. The table is set for next week. We can give our review, our experience of eating in this IKEA cafeteria. Come back next week where we finally get to talk about going into America's

largest IKEA and give our thoughts to the meatballs. Chris, thanks so much for coming on this week. Do you have anything you want to plug? Give your social media. Oh yeah. Uh, you can follow me on TikTok and Instagram at Chris Grace comedy, but most importantly, go to dropout.tv and watch Chris grace as Scarlett Johansson. It is really fun.

Yeah. Like genuinely I watched it twice. Awesome. I reallyansson. It is really fun. Yeah. Like genuinely, I watched it twice. Awesome. I really enjoyed it. Thank you so much. The amount of wigs you can fit on your head is remarkable. That's right, that's my main skill.

Yeah. And you can follow me on Instagram and TikTok at FindDiningPodcast. You can send me an email, finddiningpodcast.gmail.com. Let me know what you thought of the show. Suggest where you wanna see me go next, anything like that. And if you want extra episodes, head over to my Patreon. That's patreon.com slash fine dining podcast. I do an exclusive new episode on there at the last day of every month. And you get the full all five reviews from Yelp

from strangers as opposed to just two from the free version. So go check that out. In the meantime, we're just going to be sitting here one week waiting on our table. We'll see you next week. Have a fine day. The step is done and we had some fun Now we're waiting on our table, waiting on our table Join us next time, we're stuck in line Waiting on our table, waiting on our table We're so hungry, tummy's grumbling Waiting on our table, waiting on our table

We gotta continue our search for mediocrity Yeah Search for mediocrity Yeah Waiting on our table, waiting on our table We'll be waiting and dissipating it Waiting on our table, waiting on our table We're swimming in this week, we're digging in good We're waiting on our table, waiting on our table We've got an appetite, but just sit tight cause We're waiting on our table, waiting on our table Got an appetite for just a type of

Waiting on our table, waiting on our table Search will continue when we see you next week Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee Waiting on our table Have a fine day!